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Reclaiming our Family Honor!

Reclaiming and regaining our family honor…that was stolen from us!

Taking back what Joan M Wheeler stole from our family!

ॐ शान्तिः शान्तिः शान्तिः ॐ
om shanti shanti shanti om


Update November 2014

The purpose of this blog is about exposing all the wrongs that Joan Wheeler has done to me and my family and telling the truth of myself and my family.

It would be wise to look at the ABOUT page to get updates that I have removed from this front page. It bears repeating…the sole purpose of this blog is about the behavior of Joan Wheeler.

Our commentary and reporting is our business.

The lying, hate filled book, called Forbidden Family, by Joan Wheeler is now dead. We told the truth and the publisher pulled the book because of its libelous contents. Joan Wheeler refuses to remove all of her blogs with that title and her hate words towards us.

This blog is to help reclaim OUR Family away from Joan Wheeler…she is the Forbidden One…she was NOT conceived in 1954, when this family picture was taken and can not claim this picture. She was adopted out of the family and when ‘reunited’ turned her hate and anger against us.

Yep, the worst thing Joan Wheeler ever did was to publish that lying book. Now she will have to live with that dead book tied around her neck until we set everything in it straight and right and it starts to stink and rot OR she decides to make it right and remove ALL references to Forbidden Family on her two web sites and apology to us siblings and our parents!
Warning…the contents of this blog are not suitable for young impressible minds or for people who believe everything Joan Wheeler has said or written. Believe her at your own risk! She is a user of people!
see joint post of Gert and Ruth
update of February 2014…Joan has still NOT answered any of our charges against her…in fact when asked directly she runs and hides away, or screams that we are harassing her…so we shall continue on until she answers to the dirty deeds and words she has said and deeds she has done. Joan still has NOT removed her hate blogs against us or gotten her friends to get rid of theirs, so we shall just carry on. Everything Joan and her friends have done to the birth family are part of the historical record.

#flipthescript – a Tweeter hashtag from #adoptees during National Adoption Month

Adoptees don’t like the ‘adoption industry’. Okay, I get that! There are lots of areas that need improvement.

I am pro-adoption! I adopted, with second husband, my own birth son!

I am also a member of the ‘birth family’ of an adoptee…Joan Wheeler!

I do have a vested interested in the national debate about adoption!

I cannot allow Joan Wheeler’s deeds and words, against the birth family, go unnoticed.

If Joan can speak ‘her story’ well then, the birth family can speak OUR STORY.

Simple as that!

Joan Wheeler has a blog called Forbidden Family; within it she slanders and lies about the birth family.

Joan Wheeler also has a hate blog of false-hoods against her birth sisters, which she put up once the birth sisters found the libelous book she wrote.

Joan Wheeler wrote the book Forbidden Family in 2009. It was pulled from publication in 2011, by the publisher, when they saw the evidence of libel within its pages. Joan Wheeler violated the contract with the publisher. Any further ‘book’ published by her WILL be looked at by the birth family and legal action will be taken; publishers be warned!

Joan Wheeler has enlisted MANY adoptees and male friends to intimidate and insult the birth sisters. There still is a hate blog against the birth sisters, created by one of Joan’s former lovers!

The adoption communities, pro and con, NEED to know the words and deeds of Joan M Wheeler.

She is NOT a reformer and activist. She may have a social worker’s degree but she has never worked as one. She has a host of medical conditions and is on disability.  The reason she wrote that libelous book was to earn MONIES and FAME off the backs of the birth and adoptive families!

She IS a self-proclaimed ABOLITIONIST. She wants to eliminate adoption and is hell bend on throwing her sizable hate and anger at anyone who adopts.

See the birth family’s blogs:

and on tweeter




Ignorance breeds ignorance; no wonder people believe #JoanWheeler…they know no better!

But…the ignorant can’t hide from everyone who sees ‘who’s behind the curtain’, the ignorant use techniques of refusal to ‘hear’ the other side and outright intimidation.

You can fool some people some of the time, but you can’t fool all the people all of the time!

So I note, on Tweeter, that Joan Wheeler published an ‘article’ (as WordPress’s automation calls a ‘post’)

Joan Wheeler @forbiddenfamily  From a scientific standpoint adoption is morally wrong 

I follow Joan’s blog, called Forbidden Family, so I also got a notice of this ‘article’.

The post consists of some ‘self-serving’ propaganda BS, that ‘looks’ good, says all the ‘right’ things that adoptees WANT to hear so they can continue to pat themselves on the back that they GOT IT!

The problem is the ‘message’ is all wrong! Totally, and of course, they, the adoptees, don’t want to hear that the message is wrong!

A few hours later I see on my Tweeter…

Discovering Mary @discoveringmary

From a scientific standpoint adoption is morally wrong 

I follow the link and find that ‘discovering mary’ reblogged Joan’s post.

and here is what is posted (both on Joan’s and Discovering Mary)…


And so I leave a message, on ‘discovering mary’, which doesn’t get posted…of course. These people don’t want to hear, let alone publish anyone who pointedly tells them they are wrong.

Gertmcqueen Your comment is awaiting moderation.

November 10, 2014 at 5:27 pm

I understand that some may think they understand this, but, it is flawed and written to provoke peoples’ base level of understanding.

NOTHING is morally RIGHT or WRONG…it’s all about perceptions/beliefs. Its like ‘one person’s junk is another person’s treasure’. There is NO one morality. To think as such is what makes any FUNDAMENTALIST believe they can IMPOSE their morality on EVERYONE.

Morality can NOT be legislated…NO law can be made and enforced on an issue of morality. It’s all individual and personal.

Science as well has NO position on MORALITY…science is only interested in observable FACTS not judgments of right or wrong.

Who ever wrote this statement is just trying to pull everyone’s legs and get a reaction, and at that a wrong reaction. (end of my comment that never got/will get posted.)

But there’s MORE…

Someone on Joan’s Facebook posts a disagreement statement who is IMMEDITATELY attacked by a friend of Joan….

M… I don’t agree with this. I realize this is a metaphor, but schizophrenia is real, and it’s no more common among adoptees than natural children. So it’s a misuse of “schizophrenia”, and a hysterical one at that. It is possible for adoptive parents (of many species, not just human) – to love and cherish their children, just as it is possible for natural ones to hate and abuse them.

D…Schizophrenia is a disorder that causes you to experience delusions. They are using the word metaphorically here. You do know what a metaphor is, right?

D… Also, what is so loving about taking a child away from a parent who hasn’t been proven unfit (and I mean really unfit, like “an immediate danger to the child” unfit) and never letting that child know their extended biological family at all? Changing their name? Faking their documentation? I’m sure adopters are *fond* of the children they raise, as often as not, but I think we need to take a good hard look at what the word “love” actually means. I don’t think GIMME GIMME GIMME IT’S MINE is *anywhere* in that definition.  And… Sorry for the PostyMcPostPost… “Hysterical” is a sexist word, thought I’d mention.

M…..D: I happen to be adopted, and I agree that we need to take a look at the word “love”. My point is that natural parents may not love their children and adoptive ones may. As for “do I know what a metaphor is”, there’s no need to be snarky, especially since you did not read my post carefully. I SAID I realized the poster was using the word metaphorically. Finally, I am using the word “hysterical” metaphorically (you know what a metaphor is, right?), not in it’s literal Greek meaning concerning the womb.

M…One more thing: there’s no such thing as “scientific” proof or anything being “morally wrong”.

End of Facebook ‘point-counter-point’

These people who are utterly against the institution of adoption are just plain IGNORANT and quite dangerous!

Hate and anger are the root causes of #JoanWheeler’s chronic illnesses and her dissatisfaction with the Divine.


for some reason wordpress has a different publish date on this post, I must have hit the wrong publish date?

Originally posted on Reclaiming the Sippel-Herr Family Honor:

There’s an old saying…there are NO atheists in foxholes and on  the death bed!

I don’t know if that’s true or not but…

what I think isn’t important for I am at peace with my life and I’m prepared, as much as I can be, for that last rest!

Joan’s time on the battlefield, and in the foxholes, of adoption reform, hasn’t given her any comfort, peace, joy, honors or reform. It’s just been more years of anger and fighting against her self-created enemies; adoption and anyone who advocates for adoption and a life filled with torment and pain and aloneness. I don’t see her getting much attention from many in the reform movement. I do see that Joan has ‘battle fatigue’ but she’s just not ready to hang them boots up. She doesn’t even seem to know that she LOOKS worn-out and sick!

She, like all of us, will eventually…

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Joan Wheeler’s book Forbidden Family – Personal psychodrama, lies and other things that don’t belong in a book.


because it is NATIONAL ADOPTION MONTH I’m reblogging this post

Originally posted on Refuting a Book of Lies: Forbidden Family --:

 By Gert McQueen, written April 22, 2010

‘Three things cannot be hidden, the sun, the moon and the truth.’…Buddha

 Chapter 15, as Joan is ‘preparing for Liverpool’, to see our sister who lives there, she tells us about meeting our father at work. I’ve addressed this in another post, but for accuracy sake and setting the record straight again, she misrepresents our father’s work situation. He was not a machinist, didn’t work in south Buffalo, at this time, 1976, he worked at the City Hall of Buffalo NY as a civil engineer and part-time at Sears as a sales representative. Our father’s natural way of discussing things is in a straightforward way and yes at times he can be abrupt. I am also that way, as I believe Ruth is. Joan does not understand straightforwardness or abrupt ways of talking that leaves no opportunity for argument. She only knows a…

View original 4,866 more words

Incorrect Medical Information Given to My Adoptive Parents in 1956

Joan just published this INCORRECT information on her blog

Incorrect Medical Information Given to My Adoptive Parents in 1956.

after she saw yesterday my post of the real truth…

Joan can continue lying and I shall continue telling the truth.

updated info…I left a comment on the site that Joan left wrong info. They originally posted my comment and then after a couple of hours, they deleted my comment.

this is what I said on nov 1

I am in agreement that adoptees need medical information…true medical information, misinformation does not help anyone. When wrong information is said about my mother I must, in all good conscious to her, answer that wrong. I did on this post…

I relate to adoption issues because of wrong information told about our family. Also I adopted my birth son with my second husband.


So the upshot of this is…the POLITICAL agenda of adoption reform DOESNOT want to have the truth, from family members who have been misused by ADOPTEES.

I now present the two different versions of Joan’s telling of the same misinformation…

Posted on Forbidden Family web site

Date Posted: 27 Oct 2009 @ 2:09 AM

Last Modified: 13 Apr 2012 @ 06:28 PM Posted By: legitimatebastard

When my adoptive parents “got” me, they were told that my natural mother died of uterine cancer. Believing this, my adoptive mother worried that I might be susceptible to the same cancer. As a preventative measure, from as early as my teen years, I was seen by a gynecologist and had pap-tests every six months.

When I was 18 and found by siblings I never knew, my natural father, on our very first meeting, gave me a certified copy of my deceased mother’s death certificate. Six months later, I was a Freshman in college. I went to the college library and looked up the terms in a medical dictionary. My natural mother did not die from uterine cancer, as I was told by my adoptive parents, and they were told by my natural father, she died of kidney cancer. So I had had repeated pap-tests and had been worried about the wrong medical condition.

It is vitally important that adoptive parents are given a correct medical history for the infant they adopt, especially in the case of the death of one or both natural parents. In fact, a detailed medical history going back another generation is very helpful.

Here is a scanned image of my natural mother’s death certificate as given to me by my natural father in March 1974. Note the words: carcinamatosis hypernephroma, which means cancer of the kidney.


forbiddenfamilyHYPERLINK “″ \l “c5014133443968316482″October 30, 2014 at 1:43 PM

When my adoptive parents “got me” in 1956, my natural father told them that my mother died less than a month previously from uterine cancer. Because of this, as a teenager, I had twice yearly PAP tests, looking for uterine cancer. I was reunited with my father and siblings and extended family (natural mother’s family) in 1974. No one talked about health issues. They were too busy comparing me to the others as to who I looked like, who I sounded like. Meanwhile, my father handed me my mother’s death certificate. Cause of death: cancer of the kidney. My grieving father had given the wrong cause of death to my adoptive parents (I do not blame him in any way – he had just lost his wife of ten years and the mother of their five children). They, in turn, gave me the wrong information. I, in turn, had been tested for the wrong medical problem. In college in the 70s, I developed very frequent bladder and kidney infections. I asked my gynecologist if it was possible that these were indications of cancer. That is why we petitioned the hospital for my mother’s records, and mine, at my birth and during the three months prior to her death. To my relief, no, my bladder and kidney problems were due to stress and not inherited tendency to cancer. My full blood siblings, however, drilled it into me that I “did not have my facts straight”. They told me off, saying that Mom died of cancer of the uterus and that I was lying. Apparently, our grieving father had told them that our mother died of uterine cancer. Apparently he had never given them our mother’s death certificate. Additionally, the judge who presided over my adoption never bothered to ask my father for my mother’s death certificate. This was in 1956, a time when society believed that babies were “blank slates”. Environment meant more than biology. My father was not required to fill out medical history forms during the months before my adoption became final. Nothing was mentioned about his medical history, nor of his parents, cousins, aunts and uncles. My father was not required to provide any medical history of his deceased wife’s family. My father finally told me in 2003 what his parents died of a few years after he relinquished me. His father had gangrene in his leg. His mother died of colon cancer. Health care is vital. We adoptees need to know the truth.


Adoptees want the truth of their medical histories…but when they listen to Joan Wheeler, they get different lying versions and REFUSE to hear the birth family’s truth.

Hate and anger are the root causes of #JoanWheeler’s chronic illnesses and her dissatisfaction with the Divine.

There’s an old saying…there are NO atheists in foxholes and on  the death bed!

I don’t know if that’s true or not but…

what I think isn’t important for I am at peace with my life and I’m prepared, as much as I can be, for that last rest!

Joan’s time on the battlefield, and in the foxholes, of adoption reform, hasn’t given her any comfort, peace, joy, honors or reform. It’s just been more years of anger and fighting against her self-created enemies; adoption and anyone who advocates for adoption and a life filled with torment and pain and aloneness. I don’t see her getting much attention from many in the reform movement. I do see that Joan has ‘battle fatigue’ but she’s just not ready to hang them boots up. She doesn’t even seem to know that she LOOKS worn-out and sick!

She, like all of us, will eventually be on our death bed…none of us are getting out of here alive. So why doesn’t she fill her current existence with peace, joy, comfort, happiness, love, companionship? What she’s been doing all her life HASN’T worked; it needs to be abandoned. She needs to try something else. She keeps ‘looking for love in all the wrong places’, then when it goes bad, as it always does, she blames everyone and everything, except herself!

Chronic illnesses, of all kinds, are the direct result of a deep distrust of the Divine and the divine-nature in one’s self. Hate and anger are the root causes of chronic illnesses.

Religions do not provide peace, love and happiness. THE DIVINE does! There is a huge difference between ‘religions’ and ‘the divine’. The Divine is not confined to one or many definitions. There are many WAYS to access the Divine. It is only humans that cause the negatives in the name of the divine and get wrapped up into religions and all wars, of any kinds, in the name of a religion.

If Joan Wheeler declares herself as an Atheist, then why does she also call herself a Humanist and a member in the Unitarian Universalists? If she doesn’t believe in the Divine, then why does she believe in the American Indians’ beliefs of the Divine? Why does she even post ‘positive’ saying? If she’s so miserable why does she even bother? Because she’s presenting a mask to some and then she’ll take that mask off when she gets upset with ‘religions’.

Many atheists marvel at the ‘science’ within nature; that marveling is a ‘recognition’ of ‘some’ power that is bigger than they are. That power is the ‘divine’, even if the atheist marvels at the ‘science’ of it all, they are expressing a marvel of the ‘divine’.

In Joan’s case, she refuses to accept the fact that ONLY she is in control to have a good life for herself! She has the ‘ruby slippers’! No religion, no god, no scientist, no human will ever give her want she wants…peace…because Joan refuses to accept the LIFE SHE HAS and all the circumstances, of that life, that she CAN NOT change. Joan is stuck! She needs to open her mind to other possibilities. She is always telling others that they NEED to read books, books on adoption. She states that she knows what she is talking about. Well, she doesn’t! She NEEDS to read other books! On the Divine, because not only is she is INTOLERATE she is utterly  stupid on the subject of the DIVINE.

To change from intolerance, a person MUST begin with ACCEPTANCE of themselves, by loving themselves. Everything else is just commentary!

I’ve said it before… if you don’t like your life, CHANGE it. You are what you THINK and you are what you DO.

Joan continues to broadcast her illnesses and hatred of all things of the Divine, therefore she chooses NOT TO CHANGE.

Her last ‘romance’, summer of 2014, began with a chance meeting on a walk in nature. It lasted about 2 months. He is a Buddhist. It is obvious that he could NOT tolerate Joan’s INTOLERANCE for they split and have REMOVED all information about their ‘meeting’ and their ‘relationship’ from each other’s Facebook pages. I knew before I was informed of it.

Now, it so happens that I know something about Buddhism. I even practice what ‘he’ practices; just one of many traditions that I follow and practice. I am not an official member, but I have many of their materials, have gone to many homes and have done many observations alone and within this community of Buddhists. The SGI, community of Buddhists, have a chant, from Buddha,  to ‘dispel delusion about the limits of our happiness and reveal our inherent strength, wisdom and compassion’. It is quite simple and yet so powerful.

Nam, myoho, renge, kyo

See this link for more info…

I bring all this up because Joan recently posted a couple of items; one, about ‘chronic illnesses’ and two, on her condescending attitude about ‘advanced techniques’. Chanting mantras is common to all religious traditions and even in the secular world of ‘mindfulness meditation’.

So what does Joan say?  My chronic illness wears me out       and

Even certain Buddhists use “very advanced techniques”

Joan’s statement about ‘advanced techniques’ is a misplaced statement to the ‘picture’ she shared! The shared picture is from certain ‘christian’ propaganda, not Buddhist. She makes grave errors when she doesn’t know what she is talking about, which unfortunately, is often. She mistakes prayer and chanting with ‘advanced techniques’. I do the practice of chanting; this chant and many more!

She herself uses advance techniques; it’s called hate and anger! Hear her mantra…ALL ADOPTIONS ARE EVIL

She is SOOOO into her pain that she must DESTROY all forms of the Divine in any other human she comes in contact with!

Why doesn’t she just say ‘hey I’m into lust’ and be done with any other human-contact pleasantries of a ‘relationship’. Why kid herself and the guy too? She might save herself and the other person a lot of grief! Just Do It and get on with it!

She posted this about chronic illness…but then she also posted PICTURES of her at a zumba class! She’s on NYS disability!

And then she posted another picture, mistaking it for Buddhist’s practices. She has insulted many!


 Joan M Wheeler shared Atheist Shirts and Stuff‘s photo.

Oct 26, 2014   Yep. Even certain Buddhists use “very advanced techniques”… I am sick of religion.


Someone asks Joan… Why do you hate religion so much?

I also ask…Yes indeed why?

And now that she no longer has a ‘love’ interest, at the present moment, she’s back on the frontline of that battlefield…again! This time she really spells it out…she no longer is just a adoption reformist!

October 29, 2014 Joan Wheeler states…

No, I am not “for” adoption. As an anti-adoptionist, I take the stand that these adoptive parents are kidnappers, human traffickers, just as all adoptive parents are guilty of taking someone else’s child as their own.

An anti-adoptionist! oh boy! what an ego-tripper she is! Must give her ego a great boost! and her soul? takes a back seat yet again! She spends hours searching for negative news stories to twitter and facebook and just works her self into a frenzy.

On November 6, 2014 she makes clear her feelings for …

Joan M Wheeler  November 7, These are Christians folks. Christians. Fuck them all. They deserve to die.


and so she keeping on digging deeper into that foxhole trying to get further away for the Divine spark!


A relatively CALM, yet and still a condescending response by #JoanWheeler to an adoptive parent!

This comment, of Joan’s, was written and placed on the following blog site, in March of 2009.

This was before she wrote the long angry chapter 38 of the libelous book, Forbidden Family, during the months of April to July 2009. It was during this period that she attempted to con our father out of monies to publish the book and pay for her car repairs and when she insulted him. The result was his final action of removing her from his life. Between April and July 2009, Joan finished the ‘book’ in which she ‘again’ turned her anger onto and into the pages of the book. It was published in November 2009. By May of 2011, after several months of the publisher’s lawyers going over the evidence we, the birth siblings, submitted to them, about the libel in the book. The book was pulled from publication by the publisher due to libelous contents and breach of contract.

In the following comment you will note a now defunct website of Joan’s, one of many that Joan has had.

Joan M Wheeler, born as, Doris M Sippel said…

Yeah, you think you have problems. You are the adoptive mother. I am a 53 year old adoptee who cannot get my true birth certificate because of sealed and falsified birth certificates. No adoptive parents should ever be issued record of a false birth. Did you give birth to your adoptee? No. Then why do you have a birth certificate that says you gave birth to that child? Do you think that is honest? Do you think that is morally correct? No, it isn’t. The government should re-do the entire adoption system so that honesty prevails.

My plan: When anyone adopts, they get an adoption certificate that tells the truth about how these parents became parents to that child: by adoption, not a replacement birth with a replacement birth certificate. And, the adoptee keeps her or his birth certificate because that’s the documentation of actual birth. Both documents are then used for the purposes of identification and citizenship.

I know what I’m talking about. I’ve been in adoption reform since 1974 when I was 18 years old. My adoptive parents lied to me, but the truth was told to me by my own full blood siblings — who lived less than five miles from me all of my childhood. Every adoptee has two sets of real parents. That is what I said to myself when I got the phone call at age 18 from a sister I never knew. Please come over to visit me at my blog:

Tell your friends, too. Adoptive parents need to know that the system can be fixed. You had to pay an extra $15 for a false birth certificate for your adoptee. That is outrageous on so many levels. Enjoy your adoptee. Be as honest as you can be. Your love will be returned and you won’t lose that love, or that parent-child relationship should your adoptee ask questions about his roots. He has other parents. Don’t deny him the respect due him. I just took a peek at your family photos…beautiful! If your other children are adopted also, please, treat them all with respect and dignity. Love them dearly, but know that truth is always the best. If you honor them, they will honor you. Peace, Joan M Wheeler March 20, 2009 10:15 PM

my comment…published Oct 26, 2014

I wish to point out that Joan M Wheeler had written, in December 2009, a libelous book, called Forbidden Family. It was pulled from publication, by the publisher in May of 2011. The birth siblings have 2 blogs detailing the deeds and words of Joan Wheeler.

yep Joan has a plan, she knows what she is talking about! She has never held a long term job in social work so she can not legitimately call herself a social worker. She is not a reformer. She is a browbeater and a hater of all things adoption. She is free to give advise to others, but has NEVER treated her own children with care and respect. She is seriously flawed and speaks with forked tongue.

#JoanWheeler is back, looking for sympathy for her (self-made) plight in the world!

She has gone through 2 (two) man in the past YEAR! Since the publication of her, now deceased libelous book, Forbidden Family, in 2009, she has had 5 (five) different TRUE LOVES (sugar daddies) … all of which have disappeared. I shall present a comment Joan recently wrote, because she is out there again, looking for that sympathy vote. But first I have a few things to say.

What a bunch of crock! Joan Wheeler’s illnesses may be real enough to prevent her from KEEPING a paying job…but…the root cause of those (plural) illnesses are SELF-INFLICTED! If Joan WOULD get off her BS soap-box about adoption she MAY get better, mentally and spiritually. For you see, for anyone, it is the mental and spiritual aspects of one’s life that CAUSES the physical illnesses. Joan’s belief that she’s been HARMED by adoption is the cause of her many illnesses. I’m not dismissing any facts that physical conditions can and do PREVENT someone from earning a living.

But…when a person INSISTS that they MUST FIGHT the system, over a perceive cause, and, they MAKE no positive change in things, THEN they forfeit the RIGHT to claim that they ARE DOING ANY GOOD DEED FOR SOCIETY. Joan should KNOW THIS…she has had 30 plus years of mental health counseling and YET she isn’t any better. Joan MISUNDERSTANDS the ‘giving back to society’ concept. Sure, giving back, generally, means you DON’T GET PAID for your service, so why does she always bring up the issue of payment? If she wants to get paid…get a JOB THAT PAYS A SALARY and shut UP.

A person also DOESN’T  get to pick and DEFINE those fringe ‘social issues’ that typically, and in Joan’s case pointedly, condemns others for THEIR CHOICE. Giving back to society DOES NOT mean you have any right to condemn, browbeat, insult or do any other form of harassment just because the OTHER’s choice is NOT WHAT YOU BELIEVE THEY SHOULD DO. I volunteer…that’s means I do not get paid…as a Hospice volunteer. There is an official definition for the work I do and for the most part, NO ONE condemns me for my ‘work’ of GIVING BACK TO THE COMMUNITY.To DO the unpaid job that I DO, I must follow the rules! I cannot use that as a means to GAIN SYMPATHY just because I am NOT GETTING PAID.

Upon my divorce in 1970, I was on WELFARE for about 3 years. The ‘system’ put me through school…one year at Dental Assisting, and then for about 2 years of additional help UNTIL I made enough money to GET OFF THE SYSTEM. I then WORKED for 37 years and retired with a FEDERAL PENSION and SOCIAL SECURITY. I earned every penny I now get!

30 years ago, when I moved to a new location, I needed short term help. I then repaid that debt by volunteering for the food pantry. I didn’t broadcast the fact, I just did IT. Joan states she’s been disabled for 12 years…that would take us to 2002!  What JOB did she have before 2002? NOT MUCH! She has always had SHORT TERM EMPLOYMENT, when she WASN’T in college! She has two degrees, paid for by the adoptive parents!, the very parents that she condemns. I PAID FOR EVERY college class I ever attended. No one has ever given me a penny I didn’t earn!

I have NEVER gone public, like Joan Wheeler does, about BEING POOR. I HAVE BEEN POOR! I know what that is! But, I have enough SELF-RESPECT to tell the truth of my circumstances and I’m PROUD that once I got the helping hand I needed I CONTRIBUTED TO SOCIETY BY WORKING FOR 37 YEARS! Joan is NOT the only person who has medical issues! I have plenty and I pay for my health care…$325 per month for my coverage in addition to copays and other costs. Joan GETS FREE MEDICAL CARE! She doesn’t PAY a monthly premium nor a copay…so what the fu… is she complaining about?

Joan is SO EASILY OFFENDED…that’s for sure! Joan DOES NOT EDUCATE people, she browbeats them! That certainly is NOT GIVING BACK to the community.

October 21, 2014 Joan M Wheeler I have been disabled for 12 years. Lost my job due to illness. I hate being poor. I live on $189 of food stamps a month. Sometimes, I buy freshly-made sushi as my food co-op. I am easily offended when people generalize against the poor. By the way, as an adoption reform activist, I am giving back to society by educating people on the effects of adoption on adoptees and our natural parents. So sorry I don’t get paid for my work. If I could work, I would. Not easy having health issues that that require constant medical care. end


godzilla works

cheesh! even The Big Guy works. – Here he is at Toho’s main office – when he’s not making movies, Godzilla does office work.

It’s funny how Joan can be a bar-hopper at The Sportsman Tavern and get sooo involved in the local music scene in Buffalo. And go to the annual birthday party for former president Millard Fillmore (because his birthday is the same as hers) and drink up a storm.

But she says she’s been disabled for 12 years due to illness and health issues that require constant medical care.

Listen, if you ain’t caring for those health issues at the bar – then you can get a damn job! I tried to get her to be a nurse’s aide way back in 1989. She gave me lip service. Said she was going to file an application. She never did.

She says she lives on $189 of food stamps a month. So how is she getting the $$$ for her adoption conferences and other trips? – Sugar Daddys – that’s how.

She says she hates being poor – but won’t get off her ass and get a job. But how is she affording a mortgage and upkeep on a two story, three bedroom single home with full basement, garage and yard – PLUS a car? Sugar Daddies.

She says “If I could work, I would.” – riiight. If she can go to the bars all the time, she can get a job and work. Cos her health problems are not preventing her from being at the bars and other local music festivals and being a local musician groupie.


oh – by the way, my recently deceased friend from high school – Michelene, was diagnosed at the age of 17 with multiple sclerosis. That did not stop her from getting a degree from the University of Buffalo for science and teaching. She used crutches to walk on the day of her college graduation. She became a docent for the Buffalo Museum of Science. She was a single mom.
By the mid 1980’s, she was confined to a wheelchair, but she still worked. As each successive bout of MS robbed her of more mobility, she never gave up working, until she was forced to.
In the mid 1990’s, she took over the leadership of a local Star Trek fan group, The USS Ari. Many times we had our meetings at the museum, where she took on her former docent duties and gave us impromptu educational tours.
By the early 2000’s, she was in a motorized wheelchair, and only her left arm was mobile. And she was right-handed.
That still did not stop her from typing out and publishing (with the help of her son, other relatives, home-health aides and me – in the collating and stapling) of the monthly newsletter of our group, The Ari Chronicles.
She would motor around in her wheelchair, going to dinner with her many friends, shopping, attending Star Trek conventions in Toronto and Buffalo, having long conversations with the actors (she had a half-hour conversation with actor Gary Lockwood, who seemed smitten with her), NASA astronauts, and others involved in Star Trek and general science fiction
We went to see the Peter Jackson Lord of the Rings movies together, and had many long phone conversations. When my husband John and I got married, we threw a backyard barbecue the next day – and using scripts from a couple of Star Trek episodes, with Star Trek music in the background, Captain Mike, married Ari crewmembers Ruth and John.
Michelle loved holiday gimmickry – she would buy those corny plastic holiday earrings – big shamrocks for St. Patrick’s Day, strings of brightly colored beads for Madri Gras, black cat or jack-o-lanterns for Halloween, and of course she was decked out for Christmas and the Fourth of July.
As I am writing this – I look down and see the socks I am wearing – that used to be Michelle’s – black background with different colored, glittered words and orbs – of Our Solar System!
At our Ari meetings, she would shower us with different holiday themed trinkets and boxes of homemade stationery.
Michelle loved ancient Egypt and knew of my love for it as well. She gave me many Egyptian giftwares from the gift shop of the Museum.
She loved letter writing and had many penpals from around the country – many from Star Fleet International – the parent organization of our Star Trek group, as well as her sorority sisters from college and lifelong friends from high school.
When she couldn’t use pen and paper anymore, she got a computer and typed with the fingers of one hand. – She loved stickers and cartoons and dinosaurs.
In 2004, a freak accident occurred that spiraled down to her demise – she was shopping – by herself – because she could do it and she was that fucking independent! She was at the post office buying stamps. She was exiting the building when the door closed on her right ankle, causing a spiral fracture of her right leg. She ended up in the hospital, and then rehab in a nursing home – where two incompetent aides fractured her hip putting her into bed. – I was livid! Here were TWO aides, using mechanical lift and they injure her! Several times on my way to my job as a nurse’s aide in a hospital, I would stop by Michelle’s house and put her to bed, using her mechanical lift – with no problem!
These injuries triggered another bout of MS and she went into respiratory distress, where she ended up in the intensive care unit where I work, and she ended up with a trach – and now she couldn’t speak!
She was confined to a nursing home bed the past several years in a vegetative state and passed away last month.
MS didn’t stop Michelle until it was impossible for her any longer.
What the fuck is Joan’s excuse? – as I said in my previous comment – if Joan can frequent the bars and local music festivals – she can get a damn job!

Is everyone’s truth really the truth? by Gert McQueen


an important message…I wrote this BEFORE I had my own blog…and it’s message is always very important

Originally posted on Refuting a Book of Lies: Forbidden Family --:

Is everyone’s truth really the truth?
by Gert McQueen
It was once believed that the sun rotated around the earth…that was fact! People died if they didn’t believe it.
If someone still believes that the sun rotates around the earth…are they still right? Is their truth…really true?
I have used the famous statement of the second president of the USA, John Adams, in a blog posting, to point out that a personal truth (Joan’s) is not really the truth. John Adams said “Facts are Stubborn Things”.
Joan NEVER provides facts! Her truth is not the truth!
Daniel Patrick Moynihan said “Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not his own facts.”
This was said in response to someone who said that President Obama is not a citizen of the USA.
It has been said to me, by a friend, that if someone believes something…

View original 204 more words

#JoanWheeler was ‘scared to death’ when she was ‘found’ by birth siblings??!!

What utter bullshit! She always uses the extreme for attention getting! On October 15, 2014 Joan Wheeler says the following in response to a ‘news’ story. My comments follows.

Joan said…

When I received a phone call in 1974 at age 18 from a sister I never knew, I was hit with horrendous panic and anxiety. This was the beginning of my reunion with natural family. Doctors couldn’t help me. I didn’t get the chance to see a psychiatrist for about another 10 years. Even then, no one believed the level of panic I felt. There were many other such incidences due to hate mail and hate phone calls. I developed stress-related illnesses causing me to lose my job. Physical illness does result from being frightened. I’m glad I didn’t die.

Can You Actually Be Scared to Death? – DNews

There’s a common phrase where people claim that they are “scared to death.” Is it possible to actually die from being scared? Trace and Wilson investigate.

Gert here…

On page 3 of her libelous book Forbidden Family…she states… ‘Just two months earlier, on my 18th birthday in January of 1974, I decided to locate the only living blood relative I knew I had, my father…What an uncanny coincidence! While I began a search for my father, my own sister was simultaneously in search of me!… did we read each other’s thoughts?… The manner in which the truth began to unfold was contrary to what I had expected….I struggled to compose myself…’

So…is what she wrote in the TRUTHFUL book Forbidden Family, which was proved to be libelous, TRUE or is what she wrote on Facebook TRUE?

Okay! I can accept that learning about the birth family COULD give her, or anyone, anxiety and that panic could result from the ADOPTIVE PARENTS knowing that she THEN knew the truth of her birth family…but…everything else is JOAN’S DOING! She’s glad she didn’t die! What kind of idiot is she? She’s looking for attention here! … don’t give it to her! She’s again all alone, her last boyfriend just left her and so she’s now on the internet looking for sob stories she can hijack for her own bullshit and attention!

Joan’s life, before being found by birth siblings, was a mess! That is NOT the birth siblings fault! She documents her life of hell with the adoptive parents and their family, that caused her all that panic and anxiety. NOT OUR FAULT. She didn’t need a doctor or a psychiatrist then or now…what she needed was to get the HELL AWAY FROM THE ADOPTIVE PARENTS, she was of AGE, but she NEEDED THEM TO PAY FOR HER EDUCATION AND A PLACE TO LIVE.  But no, she blamed everything on the birth family. Hate mail and phone calls!! We, me and Ruth, have dealt with that on our blogs, for years now. We have documented proof of hate mail that Joan sent to the birth family, we have documented proof of everything that Joan did to the birth family, Joan has NOTHING of proof.

Whatever the causes of her stress related illness she has, which caused her to become disabled, is NOT due to the birth family…but totally caused by her own reactions to EVERYTHING and ANYTHING, and the adoptive parents. She was NOT frightened by me calling her, she was frightened by the words and actions of the adoptive mother! Joan documented all the hell in that book!

If she is so MESSED UP why would ANYONE want her as a SOCIAL WORKER? She may have the degree as one but she never has worked as one and her own words are proof that she is incapable of helping ANYONE.

She’s glad she didn’t die! What an idiot! She’s looking for sympathy and pity. Asshole.


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