Is adoption a theft? According to Joan Wheeler it is!

 Adoption a theft? A theft of what? An adoptee STILL has a life, name and identity. It’s all in your point of view!

 

I have no burning desire to answer any such question, as it doesn’t pertain to me personally as I’m a non-adoptee. But, it does have a bearing on how and why Joan Wheeler thinks the way she does and why she does the stupid things she does. For that reason, the question, is something to address.

 

I don’t understand it, but apparently some adoptees believe that they have been the victim of identity theft, be that as it may, I’m not addressing that aspect of this question. It will become apparent just what I’m addressing after the following brief exchange from on the public forum of Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change.

 

Stolen histories: Is adoption theft?

Post by: Su on February 16, 2011, 09:23:58 PM

I was watching a segment on the Today show this morning here:

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/26184891/#41577303

Politics aside, I was very moved by the piece.  It’s one of the many things day after day, year after year, that makes me realize what we’ve all lost.  Not only did we lose our parents, but our grandparents, our places in history, our authentication.
We were stolen from.  Our children have been stolen from.
Do our histories begin with us?

 Now, Joan Wheeler, as 1adoptee, answers someones quote (first paragraph). Joan’s words are in the second paragraph.

 

Title: Re: Stolen histories: Is adoption theft?
Post by: 1adoptee on February 17, 2011, 01:13:25 PM

Quote

you exist somewhere between two families, yet that feeling like you are actually a part of one is always just out of reach.

Always that feeling. Worse for my children who have no family at all. They were tortured by this tug of war. They are truely alone. Just me and my kids, who are now adults.

 

Gert here:

Did Joan answer the question…is adoption theft? Doesn’t look like it to me, just another opportunity for her to cry her river of laments. Here are some questions that Joan ought to ask herself;

 

Why did Joan’s children have no family at all? Did she make it easy for them to identify themselves with both families or did Joan keep them away by all her ranting and raving and other negative behaviors?

 

Why and how were Joan’s children tortured by a tug of war? Who caused that? It was Joan herself who created the negative/hateful environment that her children saw when ever Joan acted out and interfered with family members and their lives.

 

Joan’s children are alone!! Who caused that? Joan herself, by her actions, severed whatever ties anyone attempted to have with those children.

 

How does, what Joan has said and done, prove that she has ’stolen histories’ and that ‘adoption theft’ happened?

 

Joan belongs to NO family now. Her birth and adoptive parents are dead. Because of her on-going contentious relationship with her adoptive mother Joan had little to no energy or time to give to her own children. Because of Joan’s obsession with writing a hateful lying book, instead of being a mother to her children, and Joan’s other obsessions that any and all adoptions are wrong, instead of loving her children, Joan had no time or energy or emotion to BE A MOTHER to her children. Because of Joan’s own negative behaviors her birth father had to limit and then refuse to have Joan around him and therefore her children in his presence. Joan’s continued negative behaviors, for decades, with her birth siblings resulted in every member of the birth family telling her and there for her children to stay away.

 

Joan, herself, caused the rifts between herself and the families. That is the reason that her children have no family ties. There was no tug of war…it was ALL Joan’s doing!

 

If Joan believes that she has been a victim of stolen identity and that the act of adoption took her history away from her, HOW, does she explain WHY her children have no family and identity? The reason is because Joan stole her children’s history from them, when Joan attacked the entire birth family!

 

Look in the mirror adoptees and look at your own behavior!

 

comment by: Ruth

yes, it is sad that Joan’s children have no family. but whose fault is that? JOAN’S! And what was she doing while her children (born 1983 and 1986) were growing up? Running off to ADOPTION conferences. – here’s an excerpt from her “adoption resume” – from a 1999 manuscript of her book:
DAY LONG ADOPTION CONFERENCES

1. 1. 5-17-80 Adoption Forum
   Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

   2. 9-20-80 AIM: Always in Me, Inc.
   Buffalo, NY

   3. 11-9-80 Region II. Adoption School of Social Work, New York City
   Held at: Drew University, Madison, NJ

   4. 4-24-81 Adoption Forum
   Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

   5. 9-25-81 AIM: Always in Me, Inc
   Buffalo, NY

   6. 10-2-82 Adoption Forum
   Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

   7. 4-7-82 Adoption Forum
   Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

   8. 4-25-87 Adoption Forum
   Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

   9. 4-16-88 Adoption Forum
   Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

   INTERNATIONAL FIVE DAY CONFERENCES

   1. May 27-31, 1987 AAC: American Adoption Congress
   Boston, Mass

   2. April 5-9, 1989 AAC: American Adoption Congress
   New York City

   3. May 23- 27, 1990 AAC: American Adoption Congress
   Chicago, Illinois

   4. March 18-22, 1992 AAC: American Adoption Congress
   Philadelphia, Pa

   5. Sept. 23-27, 1992 CERA: Council for Equal Rights in Adoption
   New York City

   6. March 31-April 4, 1993 AAC: American Adoption Congress
   Cleveland, Ohio
   Presenter: Workshop on “Found Adoptees”

   MARCH AND RALLY ON WASHINGTON DC:

   1. August 3,4,5, 1989 1st Annual Rally
   One of the several speakers at the Lincoln Memorial
   * Participated in a video filming of a documentary on adoption
   * Participated in a workshop on non-violent activism

   2. June 5, 6, 7, 1992 4th Annual Rally
   One of several speakers at the Lincoln Memorial

   3. June 1993 5th Annual Rally

   and where did the money to pay for all those trips come from? Not from Joan’s job – she only worked at part-time temp jobs. Most of the money came from adoptive mommy. Some came from stealing it from me.-

   As to WHY I stopped having Joan (and sadly, her children) in my life: because despite repeated promises by Joan to repay me the stolen money, Joan had the audacity to phone me early Dec. 1990 and blatantly say: “I changed my mind about giving you the money that Mr. Campo (a lawyer) is refunding me. I need it to buy a xmas tree and presents for my kids.” – The money that Mr. Campo was to return was MY money in the first place – that I gave him to do legal work for me and Joan – and we had overpaid him and were due a refund – but for some reason, he split the refund between me and Joan. Joan PROMISED me that she would give me the check – instead she reneged. I didn’t give birth to her kids – it was NOT my place to provide xmas for them. Instead of providing xmas for them – she was off on those stupid adoption conferences.

   So Joan – put the blame on your kid’s lack of a family where it belongs – on YOU!

2. gertmcqueen

   Gert here…
   My my my!! one NEVER knows what one will find when looking into Joan Wheeler’s past!!

   I had no idea! And this fool exploits her own children, in that lying book, telling the world how SHE abused them and COULD not take care of them because….get this…because of these nasty mean and evil BIRTH SISTERS!! Bull shit…Joan Wheeler spend every waking minute of her life NOT taking care of her children BUT, going to adoption conferences and such…and…obviously BUILDING a resume!!! One can certainly see where her priorities were…NOT with her children.

   And now, she has to continue to exploit her own children by saying that thing are “Worse for my children who have no family at all. They were tortured by this tug of war.” Joan Wheeler is nothing but a user…she uses anyone, including her children, when it suits her to project an image of herself of the lost, abused, misused, tortured ADOPTEE!

   She used the adopted mother, who had her own reasons to continue to SUPPORT Joan, by taking and taking money from that woman’s pension…far into old age. And Joan used Ruth, over and over and over again. And today, Joan is using her daughter! And it goes on and on.

   Truth wins out…Joan’s reasons for writing that lying book was NOT for adoption reform, but for money and fame! what a loser she is!!

   thank you Ruth for exposing Joan’s RESUME, that she gained at the expense of her children and the rest of her family.

3. Ruth

   wait a minute – Joan says there was a “tug of war?” a TUG OF WAR? of what? HER? I don’t think so. –
   1. my father GAVE her up VOLUNTARILY to be adopted. no coercion – he had up to one year to change his mind.
   2. When we siblings found her in 1974, we didn’t take her away from her adoptive parents. = besides she was a legal adult.
   3. there was never any tug of war between the birth family and the adoptive family –
   4. by 1980 – when we found out what a bitch Joan was – one by one – members of her birth family started to try to GET AWAY FROM HER.
   5. by 1990, after many attempts on my part to BE a loving sister, (and kicked in the teeth time after time) – I WAS TRYING TO GET AWAY FROM HER.

   Joan, you idiot, you so-called author, you should learn what a “tug of war” really means – it’s two parties fighting over an object. NOBODY WAS FIGHTING OVER YOU – IN FACT, EVERYBODY WAS TRYING TO GET AWAY FROM YOU – BOTH BIRTH AND ADOPTIVE FAMILIES.

   And this from somebody who has two college degrees! oh brother!

Gert here:

right again, Ruth!

by the time Joan BECAME a mother…she had already DESTROYED my and my children’s relationships and shown most of the birth family the kind of trouble maker Joan is. Before Joan became a mother…she tried to get my father’s adoption of his step-child stopped, she tried to get my adoption of my own son stopped. Before Joan became a mother, she was an expert on how everyone should raise their children! By the time Joan became a mother, I LEFT the area, to get away from her. It was Joan who kept up the interference, by putting herself between me and my minor children and calling child abuse on me.

I only EVER SAW Joan’s two children in 1992 during a visit where as soon as I left town Joan started her shit AGAIN. I never had any opportunity to have any relationship with Joan’s children because I wanted to be AS FAR AWAY from her as possible. And she still tried to ‘get’ me in 1992 and in 1998 when she attempted to get my grown child to do crimes for her!

the only reason we even talk about Joan Wheeler is because when she published a lying book, which we got the publisher to pull, she made herself open for FULL DISCLOSURE of ALL her dirty deeds and words.

keep talking Joan for we shall continue to expose you.