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Reclaiming our Family Honor!

Reclaiming and regaining our family honor…that was stolen from us!

Taking back what Joan M Wheeler stole from our family!

ॐ शान्तिः शान्तिः शान्तिः ॐ
om shanti shanti shanti om



Just passed a milestone on this blog…

Congratulations on writing 500 posts on Reclaiming the Sippel-Herr Family Honor!

So if the ‘subject’ of this blog can write three lying books…I can cover MORE with the TRUTH than she can with her lies! And I shall continue on!


I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler (Doris Michol Sippel) says about me and family. The first book ‘Forbidden Family, A Half Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism‘ was pulled from publication by the publisher in May 2011. Then in 2015, she ‘self-published’ a ‘revised’ version calling it ‘Forbidden Family, an adoptee duped by adoption’. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor! Then in 2016 Joan changed her name back to her birth name and rewrote and republished the SAME crap in another book; a Third edition! CALLED ‘Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity’! Talk about conning people!

this blog’s title/sub title is… DUPED BY ADOPTION & AN WOMAN’S STRUGGLE FOR IDENTITY, A BOOK STUDY an in-depth analyzes of the books called Forbidden Family; My Life as an Adoptee Duped by adoption & An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity by Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel.

UPDATE Sept 2015 my new blog…

Duped by adoption, a book study An in-depth analyzes of the book Forbidden Family My Life as an Adoptee Duped by Adoption.

and a new Facebook page


UPDATE July 2015 added an LinkedIn account with a post

UPDATE March 2015 this post sums up the TRUE story of our family versus the ‘point of view’ of Joan Wheeler.

Update November 2014

The purpose of this blog is about exposing all the wrongs that Joan Wheeler has done to me and my family and telling the truth of myself and my family.

It would be wise to look at the ABOUT page to get updates that I have removed from this front page. It bears repeating…the sole purpose of this blog is about the behavior of Joan Wheeler.

Our commentary and reporting is our business.

The lying, hate filled book, called Forbidden Family, by Joan Wheeler is now dead. We told the truth and the publisher pulled the book because of its libelous contents. Joan Wheeler refuses to remove all of her blogs with that title and her hate words towards us.

This blog is to help reclaim OUR Family away from Joan Wheeler…she is the Forbidden One…she was NOT conceived in 1954, when this family picture was taken and can not claim this picture. She was adopted out of the family and when ‘reunited’ turned her hate and anger against us.

Yep, the worst thing Joan Wheeler ever did was to publish that lying book. Now she will have to live with that dead book tied around her neck until we set everything in it straight and right and it starts to stink and rot OR she decides to make it right and remove ALL references to Forbidden Family on her two web sites and apology to us siblings and our parents!
Warning…the contents of this blog are not suitable for young impressible minds or for people who believe everything Joan Wheeler has said or written. Believe her at your own risk! She is a user of people!
see joint post of Gert and Ruth
update of February 2014…Joan has still NOT answered any of our charges against her…in fact when asked directly she runs and hides away, or screams that we are harassing her…so we shall continue on until she answers to the dirty deeds and words she has said and deeds she has done. Joan still has NOT removed her hate blogs against us or gotten her friends to get rid of theirs, so we shall just carry on. Everything Joan and her friends have done to the birth family are part of the historical record.

HI there! I had the unfortunate experience of reading Joan Wheeler’s book (it was free on Kindle and in my interest area). I’m adopted, and have recently extricated myself from a disastrous reunion forced on me by my birth family. All that said…Joan Wheeler is a self-pitying narcissist. I feel bad for you and your family. You reached out to her in what seems to be hope and love only to have the door repeatedly slammed on your hand…then she blames you for ruining her door jam! Her writing in this book is wheedling and ‘oh they don’t make me the center of my universe so I’ll make them!’ in tone. You and your family are in my prayers that she either wises up or just stops out of boredom.


  • Jan 3, 2016…I’m replying to the about comment of same date

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us who are named in that latest garbage book of Joan M Wheeler. Glad to know that you didn’t have to pay $$ for it! I did pay for the Kindle but for the printed edition, with discounts, I paid .76 cents…yes seventy-six cents! This book, just like the first one, will never be any kind of ‘best-seller’ for she is speaking to a very small ‘crowd’ that think like herself. There are many out there, like yourself who ‘see’ behind what she writes.

    I’m glad that you KNOW about narcissistic behaviors for they can cause tremendous difficulties for anyone who gets ‘close’ to them. I’d encourage everyone to learn more about those types of behaviors for self-protection. Unfortunately, Joan will never ‘wise up’ nor ‘stop’ for any reason, because she is a narcissistic that NEEDS constant attention and she hates adoption.

    Sorry to hear that you have had a ‘disastrous reunion’; reunions are NOT easy for anyone and when they go horribly wrong, no one wins. Keep in mind that generally all families can be ‘messy’, doesn’t matter whether one is adopted or not, and if you can maintain proper boundaries, those messes won’t get too bad. Your life is your life, live it as you see fit to live it!

    Thank you for keeping us in your prayers, as we will you.

    I made a new blog post on my “REFUTING A BOOK OF LIES: FORBIDDEN FAMILY BY JOAN M. WHEELER by Joan M. Wheeler – exposing her lies”

Devastating effects?! That’s what JoanMWheeler/DorisMSippel tells ‘John’ in today’s #adoption lesson (5 of 6)

Joan/Doris says that adoptive parents NEED a wake up call! Let’s rephrase that statement. Joan/Doris NEEDS a wake up call!

The following ranting can be found via this link…

unfortunately this site is no longer available

here’s a list of the previous blogs on this ONE rant of her’s

BUT before we go any further I want to share

I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler (Doris Michol Sippel) says about me and family. The first book Forbidden Family, A Half Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism‘ was published in 2009 but then was pulled from publication by the publisher in May 2011, for libelous material within the book. Then in 2015, she ‘self-published’ a ‘revised’ version calling it ‘Forbidden Family, an adoptee duped by adoption’. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor! Then in 2016 Joan changed her name back to her birth name and rewrote and republished the SAME crap in another book; a Third edition! CALLED ‘Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity’! Talk about conning people!   this blog is titled Reclaiming the Sippel-Herr Family Honor

this blog’s title/sub title is… DUPED BY ADOPTION & AN WOMAN’S STRUGGLE FOR IDENTITY, A BOOK STUDY an in-depth analyzes of the books called Forbidden Family; My Life as an Adoptee Duped by adoption & An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity by Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel.

also see this Facebook page…

do check us out and now to continue…

Here Joan is using her ‘half-orphan’ name. My comments follow each paragraph of Joan’s.

Today’s adoption lesson is on … Submitted by half-orphan on Tue, 01/06/2009 – 02:10.

Joan said… the topic of the devastating effects of separating siblings!

Gert comments… she BELIEVES that we siblings have been damaged by HER adoption! That’s a bunch of bullshit! She has USED the birth family as hostages for her wrong-headed views of and about adoption. Her argument is one-sided and tainted with her misguided logic. She has slandered and libeled everyone in both birth and adoptive families. She should never be trusted!

Joan said…This is for John, and other adoptive parents who need a wake-up call. No baby, no child comes to you “a blank slate.” Each baby is born with memories of mother’s womb… her heartbeat, her voice, and birth brings smells, tastes, sounds, and sight. A baby knows…from inside, a baby can hear voices that are around. Father, siblings, other people. Music. When that baby is taken away, the resulting trauma is deep, and causes lifelong pain.

Gert comments…Yes Joan continues to browbeat poor John! Joan ‘speaks’ with false authority, which comes from reading too many books, on one topic, and identifying with each and every ‘condition’. Now I don’t totally dismiss the reality of this particular position of ‘blank slate’ BUT I do question Joan’s use of it. In that libelous book Joan went into great fictional details about HOW she remembered what her SIBLINGS were doing while Joan was in the WOMB. Unfortunately it was all made up, her tales were lies and fabrications! Just BECAUSE she believes it happened doesn’t mean it did. Joan ‘read’ about it in a book and therefore she wrote about her ‘experience’. Joan is into DRAMA and what her ‘inner self’ tells her. There is a very small amount of people who can ‘recall’ the womb. Joan is not one of them!

Joan said…For me, not only did I feel that loss, but my siblings did, too. Their ages were 9, 8, 6, and 3 when I was born and when Mom died. Those kids were helpless! In our separate ways, we’ve dealt with it all…one even ran away in her early 20s to another country! One sister got pregnant at age 17 to leave home, another was so emotionally distraught that she was hospitalized for several months. Our older brother ran off to join the military. We each did our time with drugs, drink, carelessness…And they held onto the thought that one day, they would find me.

Gert comments… Here are several lies! And she’s putting these lies on the internet without our permission or knowledge LONG before the book was published.

All kids are helpless for they all depend on others to care for them. But we were NOT helpless, we had family taking care of us. Joan’s separation and adoption did NOT harm us. What did was the hospitalization of our step-mother a couple of years AFTER our mother died!

Sibling that went to another country did NOT ran away! It was a carefully researched and a planned commitment that took YEARS to develop and was done as an ADULT, free to make own life decisions.

Sibling (me) got pregnant at 18, graduated from high school and got MARRIED NOT to leave home but to have my own home/family. I gave birth at ages 19 and 20. I was NOT living at home to begin with. I had been in foster care for 8 years and was of legal age when I graduated from HS and began my own life.

No sibling was hospitalized for several months, for any reason.

Sibling who went into the Marine Corp did NOT run off, but did so by personal choice and with the then ‘buddy’ system and with full support of our father! It was during the Vietnam War when there was an ACTIVE DRAFT. Hardly running away!

And Joan has this slander about her birth siblings; that we spend ‘time with drugs, drink, carelessness’ just who does she think she is portraying OTHER PEOPLE THIS WAY! She DOES NOT get the right to say that about us with immunity. How would you, the reader of this, feel is someone wrote all these things about YOU?

Everything Joan says about the birth family are lies!

And IF they were true…what right does Joan have for speaking about them? She doesn’t! She has her VIEW and she doesn’t care HOW it affects others. This is why that book she wrote is LIBELOUS and got pulled from publication. And remember she wrote this on the internet LONG before the book was published and WITHOUT our knowing about it.

Joan said…But the reunion didn’t make for fun and joy. Because all that sorrow spilled out into anger. They were mad at me for living and Mom dying. They were jealous that I had two parents and they did not. Oh, the relationships did’t start falling apart for several years, but, my stress, I was the one in the middle…crying all the time, deep depression, fear, and I was the baby. It was clear that I didn’t fit in because they grew up together and I was not with them. They grew to dislike me because I became an adoption activist. The more I wrote in the newpsaper, the more my relatives from both families complained that I should keep my mouth shut. Why? I’m not illegtimate so there’s not SHAME. They can have their family crests, but I can’t have mine.

Gert comments… Here is an example of how Joan’s ‘inner self’ dictates everything around her and how she projects it upon others (against their knowledge) and then believes her own bullshit. We were not mad at her, didn’t blame her, nor were we jealous. It was ALL her own behavior that got everyone upset with her.

It was HER sorrow that got in the way. I recall telling her many times to STOP attempting to REACH our mother’s soul! Let her RIP, but no Joan had to go to spiritualists to make ‘contact’. Joan’s mental stability, then and now, is NOT a result of being reunited with the birth family. Her behavior is a direct result from the way Joan was RAISED by the adoptive parents. Joan didn’t fit in, with the birth family, because her behavior was INAPPROPRIATE AND UNACCEPTABLE to everyone in the birth family. Joan does not know nor understand ‘personal boundaries’.

We didn’t care if she was an ‘activist’….only that she pestered everyone, taking notes, writing fabrications and then published our real names in an article (The Secret is Out) without gaining our permission. Myself, personally, I didn’t KNOW what she wrote in the newspaper for I moved away from Buffalo in 1982 and had ‘divorced’ myself from her AFTER she violated my parental rights, interfered with the minor children and called false child abuse on me because I ADOPTED my son!

Then AFTER decades of not knowing what she was doing I found that she published a libelous book. Joan NEVER takes responsibility for her own actions! Yes there is no ‘shame’ on Joan’s ‘birth’ but there is SHAME for how and why she writes about blood kin!

Joan said…I explained my feelings recently to an elderly woman: It’s like being bi-racial: neither side wants you. And she said, “I know. I’m half Asian and half white, no one wants me, either.”

Gert comments… Perhaps if Joan wasn’t such an idiot and stopped interfering in other people’s lives and didn’t fabricate tales, she may have been accepted!

Joan said…Prejudice exists. And it hurts.

Gert comments…Well for once she said something that’s correct! Such hurts have been felt by every member of the birth family because of Joan’s behavior to us.


FOOD FOR THOUGHT…just saying! there’s more to Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel than meets the eye

interesting article

duped by adoption & an woman's Struggle for Identity, a book study

Interesting article here…

nature vs nurture…sure constant debate…but…from those of us of the BIRTH family NONE of us have HER behavioral issues! so…was it an accident of the fates/biology or her upbringing that was NOT the same as the other siblings? who knows, who really cares? Facts remain…she isn’t like the rest of us

View original post

Doris Michol Sippel fka Joan Mary Wheeler was recently in a depressed state for some time (as per own admission) and WHAM! came out of it into a full-blown manic episode and foaming at the mouth over her anti-adoption and her hatred of her birth sisters.

Source: Doris Michol Sippel fka Joan Mary Wheeler was recently in a depressed state for some time (as per own admission) and WHAM! came out of it into a full-blown manic episode and foaming at the mouth over her anti-adoption and her hatred of her birth sisters.

Doris Michol Sippel fka Joan Mary Wheeler was recently in a depressed state for some time (as per own admission) and WHAM! came out of it into a full-blown manic episode and foaming at the mouth over her anti-adoption and her hatred of her birth sisters.

wonderful post here…

Refuting a Book of Lies: Forbidden Family --

Joan/Doris came across a website by a couple looking to adopt and made a blog post bitching about them on April 30, 2017. I was alerted to her new blogpost via my email because I subscribe to her blog. Not that I’m really interested in what that nutball has to say, but I ‘monitor’ what she writes. I have said in the past that I keep an eye on her online activities to be alerted to when she says shit about me. She calls my ‘monitoring’ her as CYBERSTALKING AND CYBERBULLYING. No, I call it monitoring to see what she says about ME. Keep your mouth shut about me Joan/Doris and then you won’t have pissed me off again. DUH!

So, yeah, I ‘subscribe’ to her blog and when I get an email notification of a new blog post by her – I go check it out. And yep, she…

View original post 1,396 more words

What’s the status of Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel’s latest version of her true (lying) book?

duped by adoption & an woman's Struggle for Identity, a book study

Being curious I checked it out…

As of 7pm EST May 6, 2017 on Amazon

Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity Paperback –

by Doris Michol Sippel  (Author), Dr. Rene Hoksbergen (Foreword)

Amazon Best Sellers Rank:

#4,948,112 in Books

#95957 in Books > Biographies & Memoirs

And on Sunday May 7, about 7am, they were

#4,950,549 in Books

#96007 in Books > Biographies & Memoirs


She writes the same old lying book THREE TIMES trying to con everyone!

She can’t get anywhere with this so she’s reverted BACK to attacking pro-adoption people!

She really is bad news!

View original post

Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel has come out of her depressive state & gone right into her manic state! She is really foaming at the mouth!

She is a stalker, harasser, bully, browbeater and an all-round sicko nut case! She does NOT understand that her tactics actually are HATE speech. She does NOT engage the other in a common ground learning setting where each opposite view point COULD learn from the other. No, what she does is a form of hate speech. Her view is the ONLY ONE acceptable to her.

In this sharing of (J/D) Joan/Doris’s blog post I am taking OUT identification references; there’s no reason for these actions of J/D. She goes OUT of her way to find PRO-ADOPTION people just to BEAT them up! Unfortunately, I know that some have the ways and means to find the original; I just can’t fix or prevent that! People, use your common sense and decency! WHY, why do you ALLOW Joan/Doris to speak to people in the way she does? If you do, you obviously feel/believe as she does. That does NOT make you right, it makes you part of the problem!

I truly am appalled at the way J/D and those like her, that are so EVIL to other people that she/they DON’T EVEN KNOW that they are part of a HATE GROUP. She and her kind have NO LIFE of their own and think nothing of HURTING others, just because they HURT. Well, two can play that game. That is WHY I have BLOGS…to expose what J/D does.

Most of Joan/Doris’ ranting and ravings are just MORE of the same old lies, misrepresentations and distortions of truths and facts that she has been screaming for 40 years….it’s HER story, she KNOWS nothing else! She is wrong! She is SICK! She is garbage! And the sooner people, in the adoption community, SEE THIS…the better.

Joan/Doris has attempted to write her story in BOOK form…THREE times! Each is full of lies, each is garbage, and each are FAILURES, non-starters and are NOT selling. The mainstream adoption reform movement DOESN’T promote her. She writes for FRINGE publications! So when she COMES out of her depressions, she LOOKS FOR pro-adoption sites and goes after them, in her usual MANIC fashion. Again, this why I have BLOGS…to tell the truth.

In the following, I will quote from Joan/Doris’s (J/D) words and then have my own comments marked as Gert replies.

YES this is a long post but that’s NOT my fault. J/D does love to rant on and on and on. So here she is using her legitimatebastard name on her Forbidden Family web site.

My Response to J and J A…. to Adopt in …..T… ON   April 30, 2017 BY legitimatebastard

(J/D) I saw your ad on April  posted in …. the title “….Hoping to Adopt.” So good of you to include your telephone number, your email address, your website and your Facebook page. This is advertising to take another woman’s baby from her. Other words used to describe advertising to adopt are: trolling for children, child trafficking, kidnapping. You are instructed to use coercive language to convince a pregnant teen or young woman that she is not able to parent her own child.

Gert replies… J/D uses sarcasm, mockery, intimidation, browbeating tactics to PURPOSELY HURT THE OTHER! J/D PUTS her interpretations into someone else mindset. J/D is NOT a mind reader! She believes that adoption, of any sort, is wrong and therefor she CONDEMNS the other…how wonderful of her! She PUTS her agenda into the other’s purpose…wrongfully! J/D does NOT have a crystal ball to determine what the other thinks, believes or feels. But J/D will LABEL the other as she feels…that’s slander/libel/hate speech.

(J/D) Even though you say you know adoptees and see how they have bonded with their adoptive families, I thought you might want to hear from an adoptee to tell you the other side of adoption, the side you do not want to see.

Gert replies…NO one asked for J/D’s opinions, she just GIVES it, because she is an all-knowing expert and only she knows what people need to know about adoption. She FORGETS that people have freedom to make their own decisions in life.

(J/D) The both of you may or may not be aware that there is such a thing as the adoption reform movement. We consist of mothers-of-adoption-loss and adoptees, lawyers, doctors, psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers, clergy and many of us are authors who have been rising up against the established adoption practices of modern America since our movement began in 1953.

Gert replies…Is this a PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT? If so that should have been ENOUGH, but NO.

(J/D) But you don’t care, you just want a baby. Any baby will do. And while you are coveting someone else’s baby, these are the words of a friend of mine who posted a link to the following article just last night on Facebook: “So you think this is far-fetched? Does this not describe the adoption and surrogacy industry? To a ‘T’.” She is referring to this article: We Live in the Reproductive Dystopia of “The Handmaid’s Tale”

Gert replies…she’s off and running, full speed ahead of her brain! NOW she’s into the adoptee party line of BROWBEATING as she goes along, streaming several thoughts together. Hard hitting! Hard to follow!

(J/D) I suggest you read this article as the both of you have a lot to learn. But I doubt if you will take the time necessary to attempt to comprehend the magnitude of what you want to do to destroy a family so that you could have that baby of your dreams.

Gert replies…Oh yes, she ‘suggests’ NO she DEMANDS! She’s the great educator, while she berates and insults. NO ONE learns when addressed this way! She has ALREADY condemned them because J/D is totally anti-adoption. No adoption is allowed to happen, so why can’t she just say that and be gone? No J/D MUST beat them up. J/D did the same to me, her own sister, when I adopted, with second husband, my own child, age 16 (no baby) and then she continued on VIOLATING my parental rights. That was in 1981, after that she was NO LONGER a part neither of my family nor in my life. She is the one who destroyed every relationship in her BIRTH FAMILY after we FOUND her, with her DEMANDS.

(J/D) Me, I am a 61 year old adopted woman. I was raised as an only child by a father and a mother who did not want me to ever know the truth. They willfully kept me away from my full blood siblings. Yes, they knew the whole truth, but they wanted a child all to themselves. They got what they wanted. I was the innocent child who knew nothing. I loved my parents with every fiber of my being.

Gert replies…she does love to tell you how OLD she is and how long she’s been at bullying people! If she doesn’t watch out, she’ll be on her DEATH bed and wonder WHY she did NOT LIVE her life! J/D does NOT want to accept the way the LAWS are about adoption, she blames the adoptive parents for keeping secrets, when it is the LAW that demands such. Change the laws, by normal legal means NOT by bullying and stalking people. J/D is lying here… ‘with every fiber of my being’…according to her ‘true books’ she hated them! She changes truths as quickly as she changes her undies!

(J/D) Until I was 18 in 1974. That’s when I was found by my full blood siblings: three sisters and a brother. We also had two step brothers, two step sisters, and a baby half-brother. (The add-ons were from our father’s subsequent marriages.) My siblings told me that I was the youngest of five children born to our mother. Our father told me that his wife, my mother, was dying while pregnant with me. Her body tried to survive so I was born early at 32 weeks gestation. My mother died three months later.

Gert replies…this is TRUE. It is also TRUE that she was beginning to SEARCH.

(J/D) A Catholic priest told my father to give the baby (me) to two parents. He did. He kept the other four children, and got married to a woman he knew in high school. I will believe what my father told me the day we met. He said that the priest told him “the baby needs two parents”. My father made the choice to give me to a married couple he chose because he was a very religious man and followed the advice of his parish priest.

Gert replies…This is FALSE! This is an example of how J/D twists the truths whenever she speaks, she can’t remember what she writes because it changes all the time. This is the reason she HATES adoption.

NO priest told our father that! Our parents KNEW she was dying right after J/D was born. My father with my mother’s approval (before she died), proposed a ‘marriage of convenience’ to a woman he knew long before he met my mother, in the Army, in Washington DC…NOT IN HIGH SCHOOL. My father met my mother on a train when he was coming home from an Army facility in 1945; they married in 46, I was born in 47. My stepmother was an unmarried woman with 2 children when my father said to her ‘we can help each other and our children’, but that woman said NO TO THE INFANT, which was J/D. There was NO OPTION of ‘guardianship’ within the family for my father said ‘if he could NOT raise her NO ONE WOULD’ and that meant he HAD TO PLACE HER INTO ADOPTION.

Dad may have told J/D, when she was first united with him, that the baby needs two parents, to save her ‘feelings’; he was NOT a mean man. It took a long time for the facts to surface and be told to J/D but she is convinced that the Catholic priest did this BECAUSE she is totally anti-Catholic, Christian or any form of religion. She has to fit her hates into her story, you know!

(J/D) I was in the middle of two families. Everyone had their own versions of what happened. To my extended adopted family, most aunts and uncles thought I was disloyal to my adoptive parents. A few of my adoptive relatives were kind and compassionate, comforting me as they could see how traumatized I was at learning the truth in the way it was presented to me. My natural blood family also did not know how to proceed with a reunion as there were no guide books back then. I was the one in the middle, caught in the crossfire. Both sides expected me to be what I was not. I have had absolutely no contact for nearly 40 years with the sisters who found me. I want it that way.  Not because I am against reunion, but because they are cruel, insanely vicious people. Today, there are only a few cousins from both families who truly love me, and I them.

Gert replies… ‘no guide books back then’ WTF… who the hell needs a guide book to learn about each other? J/D is a book idolater! Only if it’s in THE BOOK! of course she hates the fact that NO ONE in both families ever read a book on adoption! I adopted and learned all I needed to when I CHOOSE to adopt…but that was NOT good enough for her. Reunions are rough! Even in the best of families…NO ONE ever gets along perfectly…families can and are MESSY. She didn’t raise her own children perfectly!

This statement is FALSE… ‘I have had absolutely no contact for nearly 40 years with the sisters who found me’….it’s more like 36 years! When she betrayed me and violated my parental rights in 1981, I divorced her. I did NOT see her again until 1992, at a brief (12 hour) family reunion, where we shared stories, laughed and said we loved each other. After only a few HOURS together she then went directly to dad to tell him my religion was detrimental to my mental health. Dad pushed her out of his door! I wrote her a letter telling her I resume the divorce. In 1997 or so, she wrote a letter to me sending it to another sister, asking me to call her, she loved me, had something to tell me and wanted to be forgiven. I called, she screamed at me, don’t ever call me again. About that same time she wrote to my daughter asking her to STEAL MEDICAL RECORDS and don’t tell your mother (me) or her aunt (Ruth). In 2005, during a visit to see my dad I truly wanted to end the negative between us, I had my 2nd step-mom phone J/D, we talked, she told me things about her life, she said she loved me, as I did tell her. Then in 2009, when she first published the lying book, without any family member being told, she LIED saying I phoned her to ‘get information’, that at the reunion I didn’t apologize to her adoptive mother for something she perceived I did wrong in 1980, that I didn’t LOOK at her children and on and on and on.

So again…depending on whom she talking to, the story is always different. Oh yes…let’s not forget the birth family, the sisters in particular that are ‘because they are cruel, insanely vicious people’! She was putting that kind of slander out on the internet from 2006 LONG before she put it in print! But hey…isn’t it J/D who is writing this cruel, insane, vicious post AGAINST people she doesn’t KNOW? Her CONTINUED attacks upon others PROVE her very nature as cruel, insane and vicious!

(J/D) Yes, my childhood was filled with joy, because I was a child. There were times, though, that I felt different. I was alone. Deep down, I knew I was not alone. But I was not allowed to know.

Gert replies…poor baby! And this whining will change someone’s opinion on adoption?

(J/D) My innocent childhood was over the day I was contacted by my eldest sister who knew where I was for ten years before making that first phone call. I felt violated. I had no privacy. Everyone knew about me but I was the one who was not allowed to know the secret. No one cared how I felt.  They were all too busy telling me how to feel and what I should do.

Gert replies…poor poor baby! Sad, sad, sad, story of personal woe will NEVER change the opinions of those that CHOOSE to adopt.

(J/D) As a direct result of my reunion and the shock of all the lies my adoptive parents told me, and of all the hate heaped upon me, I became an activist and have been one since 1974. I have fought ever since against the laws that stole my birth certificate. I speak out against social and legal prejudice that marks adoptees as ungrateful and allows people like yourselves to troll for babies to adopt by advertising to lure a pregnant teen or young adult into your clutches.

Gert replies…She is no activist, she has NOT and will never change any laws because all she is capable of doing is stalking, harassing, bullying. If she got rid of her hate perhaps she may find some COMPASSION for herself and for others. But she can’t let go of her hate! She’s the one TROLLING for pro-adoption folks to beat up! Activism doesn’t work that way.

(J/D) J and J, you desire a baby. So what? You have each other. You are both alive. My mother DIED at age 30! My mother DIED so that I could make my adopters HAPPY. I would rather have had my dead mother back to life and my siblings and my father as a family than the life full of lies and deceit, scapegoating, and loneliness I was forced to live because of adoption.

Gert replies…projecting her hate doesn’t solve anything! Mom didn’t die to make anyone happy, what a stupid crazy remark. It ought to be mentioned that there is a strong possibility that someone in the adoptive family ABUSED J/D. If that happened, that’s sad, but is NO EXCUSE to blame it on ADOPTION. This woman has been in mental health therapy for most of her LIFE. She does NOT want to get better. She loves her pain and hate, lashing out at others gives her pleasure and feeds her self-importance.

(J/D) My mother’s name was Genevieve. They called her Gene. (I also see Genetics in her name. How appropriate.) They also called her Genny.  how does the similarity in names feel? Kinda gets ya, or at least it should, J. If she had lived, my mother (not my birthmother, my MOTHER, Genny) would be 90 years old now.

Gert replies…the word genetics has no connection to the name. J/D is attempting to make her argument towards these people PERSONAL with another form of mockery! J/D has NO RESPECT for our mother, she uses her, has hijacked her life and death, to promote her agenda of hatred against adoption.

(J/D) And, for the record, with all the fighting my adoptive mother caused between us, she always spoke of my mother as “your mother” as a sign of respect. Never once did my adoptive mother utter the words “birthmother” or “birthfather”. She always addressed my father as “your father”. To me, my adoptive father was also “my father”, just as my adoptive mother was always “my mother”.

Gert replies…The terms birthmother and birthfather are from the CURRENT adoption movement and was NOT in general practice. Here we also see where J/D acknowledges the fighting between herself and adoptive mother, who J/D loathed…she put that in print!

(J/D) How old are you, J? Can you comprehend the losses I had to live through in the first three months of my life to make it possible for me to make my adoptive parents happy? Isn’t that an incredible burden to place upon one tiny premature infant? And to carry that burden throughout my life? Just to fulfill the desires of a childless couple?

Gert replies…getting personal again! J/D’s first three months of life were NOT to make anyone happy! It is really painful to see how she VIEWS her life and the people around her. Sick

(J/D) No, I didn’t need a new home. I already had one. I needed my family, not a new, fabricated, one. I didn’t need a new name, or a new birth certificate, I already had a name and a birth certificate.

Gert replies… Shit happens! She was placed into adoption, fact of life. The rest of her birth siblings were placed in foster and orphan homes, AFTER the illness that TOOK away our FIRST step-mother. We dealt with that and other things. J/D needs to grow up! But hey she is only 61 years old, soon she’ll be dead!

(J/D) How much reading have you done on adoption psychology? Do you know who Jean Paton was? She was my friend. Do you know who Annette Baron and Ruben Pannor were? They were my friends and colleagues. Look them up. Do you know who Betty Jean Lifton was? She was also my friend and colleague.

Gert replies…J/D is just a name-dropper. She doesn’t realize that REAL people don’t have to FOLLOW or BE IN THE KNOW of any adoption people. If J/D is berating someone, like she is, why would they THEN go and ‘look them up’. She has just defeated her purpose…she TURNS PEOPLE OFF.

(J/D) Do you know who Joe Soll is? Do you know who Carol Schaefer is? Do you know who Lorraine Dusky is? Do you know who Lori Carangelo is? Why not? Do you know what Americans For Open Records is? Why Not? Do you know who Sandy Musser is? Why not? Do you know who Mirah Riben is? Why not? Look up her articles on Huffington Post. You will get a valuable education.

Gert replies…J/D asks ‘why not’! Why should anyone care to know any of these names AFTER being stalked, harassed and bullied by this total nut-case? The only person that needs an education is J/D on how to deal with PEOPLE and DIAGLOG skills, for they are non-existent! She will never get a convert this way! She’s NEVER change anyone’s mind this way!

(J/D) In fact, look up all of these names and you will see that they are authors. Some are adoptees, some are mothers of adoption loss. All of them are pioneers in adoption reform. And there are many, many others who have had the courage to speak out against the discriminatory system of adoption.

Gert replies…who gives a shit? This is a self-promoting thing for J/D, nothing more. She KNOWS people, therefore YOU had better listen to her! Interesting, she isn’t promoting her own BOOKS! We have exposed them as the garbage they are, so she’s BACK to using other authors.

(J/D) If you don’t know who these pioneers in adoption reform were, and are, then you know nothing about adoption. NOTHING.

Gert replies…See! I told you! In J/D’s mind a person who adopts and who DOESN’T know these people knows NOTHING. Nice going J/D you just LOST another several people, the ones you have insulted and the untold NUMBERS that see your post and this post of mine.

(J/D) Have you even been to an International adoption reform conference held by the American Adoption Conference? NO? How about Bastard Nation? NO?  I’ve been attending local and regional adoption support meetings for adoptees since 1975. How about you? I’ve been attending adoption reform conferences since 1976. How about you?

Gert replies…Wow!!! Such Self-importance! Everyone else is a nothing because they don’t have her experiences. I feel her pain! Makes me want to vomit

(J/D) I know thousands of adoptees, mothers-of-adoption-loss from around the world. How about you?

Gert replies… I know ONE adoptee, my son! But that doesn’t count to her, because I adopted him and that made me a BAD BAD person in her eyes. BTW my son wanted to be adopted and has never had any issues that this idiot thinks happens.

(J/D) Do you what the Baby Scoop was? Why not? Do you know what the Stolen Generation was? Why not? Do you know about the Magdalene Laundries? Why not? I know women who gave birth there, and women and men who were born there, survived, and are looking for their mothers. Do you? Have you ever read any books on adoption social work and psychology? Adoption law? Have you read any books written by mothers-of-adoption-loss? By adoptees? By fathers? By therapists? NO? Why not?

Gert replies…total self-importance, we should all get down on our knees and worship this person who KNOWS so much about adoption!

(J/D) Oh, yes, this is an important edit I am adding 24 hours after this post was published. …add this book to your reading list: The Child Catchers: Rescue, Trafficking, and the New Gospel of Adoption by Kathryn Joyce. You will really like that one! Will the adoption you choose be opened or closed? Open adoptions close all the time because once the adopters get the baby, they run. All the legal papers say the baby is theirs now, by birth, no less, so they close the adoption and leave no forwarding address. And the child’s birth certificate is changed. Do you want to start your relationship with someone else’s child you will call your own based on dishonesty, deception, and lies?  J, you will have nothing to do with siring the child. J, you will not participate in the conception, or pregnancy, or the birth. Therefore, neither one of your names belongs on a birth certificate. But, adoption will provide you that privilege of having your names on a birth certificate for a baby you did not create, but hope to adopt. Why do you want to participate in government-sanctioned lies? Does your church promote lies? Is lying a sin?  If you are both honest people, you ought to be ashamed of yourselves for contemplating placing false facts on a birth certificate of a child you did not create.

Gert replies…diarrhea of the mouth and WAY too much information at one time. She lost everyone back there in the beginning, she’s talking to thin air.

(J/D) please, turn your desire for someone else’s baby into kindness and sympathy as to what young parents are going though when faced with an unplanned pregnancy. Do they need help to keep their family together? Do you really need to pry them apart? Can you help out by being there as friends, as care givers? As legal guardians for a child while the parents figure out what they need to do to pull their lives back together? You can love a child without legally changing the child’s name and birth certificate, or without forcing a child to give up their entire family so that you can have the experience of parenting. You are pleading for a mother to give up her baby to you. And for a father to be unknown to his child. That is selfish and cruel of you.

Gert replies…no one is listening anymore!

(J/D) Stop. Are you Christian? Would Jesus want you to ask a mother to give up her baby? What kind of people are you? Are you people of faith or are you predators?

Gert replies… ah! Now we get to the religion part! Her favorite! If she can’t get them on those other points she gets them with ‘what would Jesus want’! A person like J/D who is NOT a Christian, nor any religion, has NO business lecturing and intimidating anyone with the religion/god fire-club!

(J/D) Adoptees and mothers-of-adoption-loss have no choice but to accept what was done to us. We work tirelessly, without pay, to make sure not one more mother or father loses their child to predators like you. We work tirelessly, without pay, to change the laws so that we may access the truth of our births that was taken from us. For adoptees and mothers of loss, we must Radically Accept that adoption has negatively affected us.

Gert replies… Okay so they all deserve a medal! Big deal! Working without pay is called VOLUNTEERING. If you volunteer to do something you NEED NOT tell anyone you ‘work without pay’. If you WANT PAY, get a JOB and shut up!

(J/D) Now I am asking YOU to take on what we are told by our therapists: you must meditate and go into full Radical Acceptance of your situation. You must Radically Accept that you cannot have children because of a medical condition. Grabbing up someone else’s child will not cure your medical condition. Radical Acceptance might cure you of your emotional need to take someone else’s child and pretend that child is yours. You are infertile. Adoption does not cure infertility. Neither does a false birth certificate that declares you sired and gave birth to a child you know you didn’t.

Gert replies…Doctor J/D heals thyself! She’s been in therapy for decades, she has a library of books on all the conditions that all the experts tell her she has. What she needs, to be healthy, is to DROP her HATE and learn COMPASSION FOR HERSELF and leave others alone.

(J/D) the two of you are married. You have each other. You love each other. Be grateful for what you have. Radically Accept your lot in life and face reality. Hold on to each other for the true joy that you have, and then you would not cause others multitudes of lifelong emotional pain. To covet another woman’s child and another man’s child is a sin. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife…. Think about it.

Gert replies… Spoken like a true BELIEVER of the gospel of the E VILS of Adoption! Right from the CHURCH OF ADOPTION IS EVIL. What an ass this woman is! This is another manifestation of MENTAL ILLNESS. Everyone knows that J/D has mental illnesses because she tells the world adoption did it to her.

(J/D) Change your ways. Repent your sins.

Gert replies… OMGs When did she take the cloth?

End of her hate post

Gert here… What I find most distressing in the following comments, is HOW J/D went after the first commenter Lisa Ann, venting more on someone who DOESN’T have the same viewpoint as J/D! NO POSITIVE CHANGES can happen when HATE SPEECH AND HATE TACTICS are used! Lisa Ann’s comment is the ONLY opposing view and for THAT she was attacked by J/D.

6 thoughts on “My Response”

Lisa Ann said… May 1, 2017 10:54 pm Wow, I’m sorry that this happened to you. Tell me how you would ‘fix’ the uncontrollable problem of state run foster care where 400,000 children in America are abondoned to? A system in which over 50% of the kids don’t finish high school and many will never have the acedemic prowless or financial freedom to write angry blogs. I’m adopted also. Sure, I have abondonment issues…But non adopted people have MAJOR issues as well. People in general (especially us over entitled American’s) have issues. Tell me a really really good solution to the 400,000 children and I might give your tirant more respect.

Legitimatebastard said… May 2, 2017 Spell much? Seems like you don’t’ have the “acedemic prowless” to write intelligently. You are attempting to invalidate my post by using diminishing language, bringing in topics that have nothing to do with the content of the post: “But non adopted people have MAJOR issues as well. People in general (especially us over entitled American’s) have issues.” De-railing the points I made. Nice tactics.

So, you are adopted. You don’t say! How much do you know about adoption? Or are you here to show your ignorance, just as you did attacking me on a closed group’s post? Abandonment issues are one thing, but my post is not about that. At all. “tirant”? Did you mean “tirade”? You are mad at me for being mad at you? You attacked me and I am not supposed to be angry? Flatter yourself that I allowed your comment to be posted.

So it seems you want to defend foster care. I do not have all the answers to fix foster care because my expertise is adoption. Adopting out of foster care is like adopting a child off the streets in a 3rd world country – you can “save” (if that is your goal) one child but you don’t fix the poverty or the politics. When kids are abandoned to foster care due to drug addicted parents or immature parents who land themselves in jail, these kids still miss their parents. And adopting them out of foster care still leaves drug addicted parents and criminality.

When I worked in a homeless shelter, I took a mother to court to get something from her husband in jail. They had 4 children. Those kids visited their father with their mother and wanted him to come back home. The mother was afraid of losing her kids to the system because she was poor. And the system could have taken her children away from her because she could not afford an apartment after her husband committed a crime and was in jail.

But, there are people out there who believe that those kids would benefit from being taken away from these miserable parents and given new parents. Wrong. You don’t solve a series of problems by creating new ones. Just like adoption, foster care is a broken system. Fixing a broken system takes dedication, hard work, persistence. Political action. Lobbying. Sending vans of people to state legislature office buildings to meet with law makers. I have done this with groups on poverty issues, food banks, student loans, as well as adoption issues such as open records.

Re-read my post. Separating families is never a good idea. For the children who have been abandoned into foster care and for people who want to help these children, as I have said in my post, you can love a child without changing a child’s name and birth certificate. You can provide a home for a child who needs a home without causing that child to lose any contact and legal standing within her family by being a legal guardian. Adoption is completely unnecessary. Family preservation is the first goal. Kinship care is next. After that, legal guardianship. These three solutions preserve the child’s family (meaning that family relationships remain intact), and the child’s name and birth certificate and identity are also preserved.

The following are links to pages on my website and other websites, that you might find helpful in your questions. There are many other resources, but it is now 1:20 am. I have to be up work in the morning.

CHOSEN CHILDREN 2016: People as Commodities in America’s Failed Multi-Billion Dollar Foster Care, Adoption and Prison Industries Kindle Edition by Lori Carangelo (Author)

MC (@Noomaconsulting) said May 1, 2017  THIS RIGHT HERE IS GOLD! thank you so much for writing this.

Legitimatebastard said  May 1, 2017  This brought a smile to me! And you are welcome! I just hope this reaches the people it is intended to reach. Adoptive-parent wanna-bees need a dose of reality. They tend to live in a sense of Entitlement

everyoneactdead said May 1, 2017 I applaud your powerful way with words and your many years of activism. Infant adoption should not be allowed to continue

Legitimatebastard said May 1, 2017 Thank you. It is nice to be validated after all these years of being trashed-talked and put-down for being who I am. Yes, infant adoption fresh out of the womb should be abolished. Older child adoption should be abolished as well.


and here’s another view of this

Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel is a TERRORIST

Source: Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel is a TERRORIST

Does anyone really care what Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel has written?

…particularly when she has a LONG history of writing lies about both her birth and adoptive families! And when she writes on the fringe of mainstream thoughts! When her books have been proved to be full of lies and she writes for the fringes the only place left to her is to go and BROWBEAT and INTIMIDATE people that happen to be pro-adoption! Joan/Doris is nothing but a big bully. She’s a nut case!

Saw the following…

At the end of the post is the following ‘mention’.

OH and btw there are NO COMMENTS or LIKES…which makes me wonder DOES ANYONE REALLY CARE!

(If you want to read more about the adoptee’s right to original birth certificates, my fellow adoptees have done amazing writing on the subject: fellow Lost Daughter, Amanda, did a brilliant job laying out the whole amended birth certificate debate in a post on her blog, The Declassified Adoptee. There is a great post written just a couple weeks ago in Dissident Voice by Doris Michol Sippel, and I’m always learning about the adoptee’s right to their birth certificate from fellow Lost Daughter and Adoptee Survival Guide editor, Lynn Grubb – her post in her blog No Apologies for Being Me is just one example. There are a ton more, of course, but that’s enough to get you started!)

Also note…that the Dissident Voice is a ‘fringe’ Internet paper, which proves, once again, that Joan/Doris does NOT have a voice in the mainstream adoption reform movement!

Now if you really want to know more about Joan/Doris take a close look at the following information and site links.

The first book Forbidden Family, A Half Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism‘ was published in 2009 but then was pulled from publication by the publisher in May 2011, for libelous material within the book. Then in 2015, she ‘self-published’ a ‘revised’ version calling it ‘Forbidden Family, an adoptee duped by adoption’. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor! Then in 2016 Joan changed her name back to her birth name and rewrote and republished the SAME crap in another book; a Third edition! CALLED ‘Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity’! Talk about conning people!   this blog is titled Reclaiming the Sippel-Herr Family Honor

this blog’s title/sub title is… DUPED BY ADOPTION & AN WOMAN’S STRUGGLE FOR IDENTITY, A BOOK STUDY an in-depth analyzes of the books called Forbidden Family; My Life as an Adoptee Duped by adoption & An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity by Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel.

Also see this Facebook page

In addition…see the ‘discussion’ forums, on Amazon, for two of the books. The first book has one review and several comments related.

Forbidden Family: My Life as an Adoptee Duped by Adoption forum

Joan Mary Wheeler forum

review of first book and 4 comments


Recalling words of Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel; a look inside her mind!

This post contains old tweets of Joan/Doris’s back on April 14, 2013. This was the same time of the Boston Marathon bombing. These tweets contain Joan’s advocating the blowing up government offices.

I collected them back then, as I’ve collected many things as they happen, but didn’t get to them because time sometimes moves away from us. The reason I collected them then is because these were Joan’s tweets from an adoption convention that Joan attended wherein she also advocated BLOWING UP GOVERNMENT OFFICES OF VITAL STATICS, to get their attention about false birth certificates. Talk about an American terrorist!

Here are links to posts that covered these events…

It’s always good to take a closer look at ANYTHING that Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel has said. It doesn’t matter how old the statements are for it shows the inner workings of her diseased mind. You can also see how Joan is addicted to people in the limelight, who has written books, speakers at conferences, etc.; she’s into celebrity. She gets her ideas about her own illnesses from these experts. She then uses the ideas, of what can happen to adoptees, and puts that ‘spin’ on everything she writes and tells about her birth family…most of which are totally false. She creates personalities, of family members, based on her views and what the experts say ‘should’ happen and paints a totally wrong picture of the reality of those people.

Remember when reading the tweets, that they are in reverse order…the newest ones are first, the older last. So the ‘19h’ means that they were written on April 14 before that date was set on Tweeter. They begin on April 9th. So it might be better to read from the bottom of this list, working on up to see the sequence in order of time and the development of her anger.

It is also note-worthy that Joan/Doris has locked down her twitter account; only confirmed followers see her account. Obviously, she knows that her words and deeds are reported on by family members that she wrote lies about! Turn around is fair game! That is why we have blogs and a Facebook page devoted to exposing Joan/Doris’s lies.

And so we begin…
Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily19h
@aac1978 My roommate gave me this great idea for inspired line of #adoptee -centric T-shirts. Design and logo matched her book, awsome

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily19h
I’m turning into a zombie. These 4-5 day conferences are killing me. Dead tired. Hard work. Core people. Dedicated #adoptees #activists

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily19h
@aac1978 to me, simple really: 1 #birthcertificate + 1 #adoptioncertificate equals adoption truth.

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily19h
@aac1978 Yes, this topic makes me mad. I’m not the only one. Hearing one-on-one convos stating hard-line stance, then for compromise on OBCs

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily19h
@aac1978 was it through compromise or did we take a stand for what is right and just?

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily19h
@aac1978 no matter how hard we try, Many #adoptees will never get the truth of their births. So tell me…How did we abolish slavery?…

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily19h
@aac1978 we #adoptees fantasize abt blowing up Vital Statistics Offices. Some adoptees OBCs are filed with false info from maternity homes..

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily19h
@aac1978 I am no longer convinced on the best course of action in #adoptees access to #birthcertficates legislation. We all are pissed so…

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily19h
@aac1978 and after intense dialogue with #DrJoycePavao #RepSaraFeigenholtz and a very stern adoptee saying adoptees will die waiting…

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily19h
@aac1978 #adoptee grumble: Does Compromise legislation work? Look, I stood up for the 47 adoptees who didn’t get their OBCs in Illinois …

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily19h
@aac1978 Book bought: Karen William’s Caring For Self: Handbook of Axioms, Idioms, & Common-Sense Tips. What a night!

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily13 Apr
Playwrites, poets, songwriters, and memoirists and researchers – what a line up here @aac1978 creative as well as #adopted

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily13 Apr
Because time @ conference is limited not checking emails till I get back home.

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily13 Apr
Been working on a writing project for the past 1 1/2 years soon to be released. Been asked to visit #adoptees in NYC; likewise them up home

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily13 Apr
With all the books being written now by #adoptees #naturalparents we are getting the word out the need for change in #socialpolicy and law

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily13 Apr
Pointing out that there are other #adoption Organizations that also work hard for #adoptees rights. #BastardNation #AdoptionCrossroads

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily13 Apr
@aac1978 #adoptees support group just closed for the night. New (closed) facebook group opening. Ask to be let in. Leader has signup

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily13 Apr
@aac1978 Love what #PatrickMcMahon said, “Been writing personal narrative as #adoptee truth that I can’t write fiction.”

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily13 Apr
@aac1978 That’s the thing about these #adoption conferences, we all write books! Love it! I’ve got enough books now to last me sevrl months

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily13 Apr
@aac1978 Book bought: Swimming Up the Sun – A Memoir of Adoption by Nicole J. Burton.  met author on elevator going up to our rooms.

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily12 Apr
@aac1978 So interested now in learning abt interracial adoption. Good to see this being addressed; examination of feelings, social structure

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily12 Apr
@aac1978 I so wanted to do live Tweets during sessions as I did yesterday. Sometimes that’s just not possible.

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily12 Apr
@aac1978 My roommate, #CarolWelsh will be talking about her book tomorrow: 360 Square A Memoir of Adoption and Identity. She’s amazing!

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily12 Apr
@aac1978 fascinating discussions of adoptees’ pain in not knowing; #birthcertificate – sealed and falsified, legislative work around nation

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily12 Apr
@aac1978 Adoption Constellation: natural family, adoptive family, adoptees, social workers, psychologists, lawyers, ministers

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily12 Apr
@aac1978 Conference attendees are the cream of the crop of people in America who gather for knowledge exchange on adoption constellation

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily12 Apr
@aac1978 American Adoption Congress Conference – Body Count: 300 Registered Attendees, Mostly Americans, some Canadians.

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily12 Apr
@aac1978 Bought: DVD: #Resilience A Film by Tammy Chu – abt 4 Chinese born American adopted girls in search and reunion with natural family

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily12 Apr
@aac1978 Bought: CD by #ZaraPhillips You and Me featuring #DMC. DVD: Roots: Unknown – A Film About Adoption, also by Zara Phillips

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily12 Apr
@aac1978 Books bought: #360Square A Memoir of Adoption and Identity by #CarolWelsh #adoptee and #adoptivemother my roommate!

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily12 Apr
@aac1978 Tweeting Live from Cleveland Ohio at the American Adoption Congress Conference – having an informative day.

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily12 Apr
@aac1978 Goodnight all! Keep up the good work! Conference well done.

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily12 Apr
@aac1978 Another full day tomorrow at conference n Cleveland Ohio. New faces old faces. Networkng with #adoptees in #birthcertificate legisl

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily12 Apr
@aac1978 Thrilling to see sisters reunite with joy. #adoptiveparents were supportive of Jennifer to know her big sister #DominiqueMorceanu

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily12 Apr
@aac1978 #DominiqueMorceanu when she was a girl not knowing she was her own big sister – given up because she – Jennifer – had no legs . 2/2

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 Morning Keynote with #DominiqueMoceanu and her lost reunited with sister Jennifer who watched Olympics as a child, idolized   1/2

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@acc1978 Books bought: #OffBalance – A Memoir by #DominiqueMoceanu  USA Olympic gymnast who was found by her full-blood sister adopted out

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 Books bought: #FindingFamily – My Search For Roots and the Secrets in My DNA by #adoptee #RichardHill

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 Books bought: #ClinicalAndPracticeIssuesInAdoption by #VictorGroza and #KarenRosenberg

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 Books bought: #ALegitmateLife A Forbidden Journey of Self-Discovery by my #adoptee pal #MelindaWarsaw edited by #EllenCMaze of #TAM

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 Books bought: #MotherMe An Adopted Woman’s Journey to Motherhood by #ZaraPhillips.

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 Books bought: #BecomingPatrick by adoptee #PatrickMcMahon.#TheAdoptionConstellation by#DrMichaelGrand.

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 Movie: #SomewhereBetween 4 Chinese girls #adopted in USA #HilbbrandWestra @UAI @IbnZayd WOW! Someone I know in this documentary!

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 What a night! Dinner with NYC friend met in Toronto last Oct – dynamite kick-ass activist! Yeah! Love my IRL #adoptees

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 Getting info out is so vital – love social media!

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 FamilyTreeDNA does not test for medical assessment

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 critical mass in Jewish, Irish, Eastern Europe, Scottish – will create match

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 is there a Holocost DNA database? Not a funded program. Expanded version of paternity test, didn’t get off the ground

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 GenMatch do com is another #DNA matching for genetic family testing

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 FamilyTreeDNA accept flat test into their system from 23andMe. sure fire way is to test with both companies

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 hearing aid and toothbrush are good to test for degraded #DNA

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 Love this #DNA #genealogy How do you know that they do the test? Honest in cheek scraping – only those interested in truth

oan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 surname in common – genealogy – name and genes – triangulate relationship or prove how close the relationship is

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 which cheek? DNA testing scrape? Fun and entertaining make this serious topic #geneticgenealogist

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 National Geographic Human Migration project…As an adoptee (me) I can say that with current + past Sperm and Egg donation invalid

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 Finding Family these things are intensly personal. Also Population Finder

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 can lead to heartbreak for adoptees if father or mother doesn’t want to meet @adoptee after DNA testing

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 #operationbabylift Vietnam #DNA testing #FamilyTreeDNA

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 Laws of science is DNA cannot be changed cannot be disputed: reality

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 #DNA Now everyone can play – no longer female or male line. shows how much DNA we have in common

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 what’s special abt FamilyFinder? Determine degree of relationship. cousin, half sibs, make contact with matches. good 4 adoptees

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 Richard Hill’s book Finding Family DNA mother gave up baby. Richard didn’t know he was adopted, parents didn’t tell him

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 autosomal DNA to make family tree – half from mother and half from father. brother and sisters are complete overlaps.

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 mitochondrial DNA do the full test of molecule to find out ancestors – prove ethnicity prove continent origins

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 DNA relatedness living in geographic locations. reading the history book that’s written into your cells: undeniable truth

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 Back to DNA testing…lecture very knowledgeable. love this. ancestors..blood line. evidence.

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 Remembering #BettyJeanLifton #AnnetteBaron #ReubenPanor #KenWatson #JeanPaton #CarollAndersen RIP

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 Wish I’d been involved with AAC since 1978 – but my first con was 1987 where I met #DrReneHoksbergen wonderful friend, mentor

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 or could it be NYC at an ALMA meeting in 1975? 1976? Met in person activist #PeterFranklin partner in online activism!

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 Seeing faces I’ve not seen in 11 years. A few have been steady friends, many long-time activists. #PamHasegawa know her since 1980

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 It’s been 11 years since I’ve been able to be here at a Conference. Succumbed to stress-related illness in 2002. Glad to be here!

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 great humor here: Genetic Genealogy lecture. Who will win FamilyTreeDNA test?

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 YES! Ron Nydam is Alive! Photo and autograph from a man who can’t write well due to illness. Bless you Ron!

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 why are you testing DNA? Have a goal. Think twice before you test. oops it’s Family Tree  DNA

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 ABC’s of Genetic Genealogy. Bennett Greenspan #23andMe

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 #attachment relationships can be positive vs negative, takes work to be in relationships. #secure degree of predictability: be calm

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 we are prisoners unless we take steps to change our own personal narratives #adoptees can deflect others’ misperceptions of them

oan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 skillful dancers may help you overcome in #adoption #adoptees have normal reactions to abnormal stress of their situation

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 stop thinking of winners vs losers – we can change public perception of #adoption #MichealGrand No need for #stigma

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 #savior I won the kid you lost the kid – is a set-up for disaster. don’t do it. winners vs losers: NO everyone’s in the game

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 #education is really the key: all in #adoption need better education. Helping people through rough moments.

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 #adoptiveparent education must go through life cycle, same with #birthparents and family members of both families

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 Validate #adoptees experiences, no shame, educating a-parents, educating natural family. #MichaelGrand

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 it is time for #adoptees to stop apologizing! #MichaelGrand #TheAdoptinConstellation – book. Stop condemnation of #adoptees

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 We need Open Records – give #adoptees what is theirs! #MichaelGrand

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 shame comes from other people’s evaluation of #adoptees and this no longer needs to be accepted

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 #adoptees find ways of leading authentic lives. take back our own lives

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 shame resilience builds authentic self for #adoptees feel safe in relationships. people love you with all your flaws -build strong

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 #adoptees feel abandoned for being given up for adoption. “give up” is not a positive place. end up with personal narrative: shame

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 being disengaged from self means being same with others – inside feel unreal and shamed, can’t be real self.

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 when #adoptees feel shame then experience of #adoption is negative. Manage shame by taking on inauthentic self to fit in, fear

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 shame is the intense feeling of unworthy of love and belonging. #adoptees #MichaelGrand – not smart enough, not good enough

oan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 Openness in adoption vs closed attitudes lead to healthy relationships. Acceptance in the wider family

oan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 any #adoptivefamily who does not show #empathy towards #birthfamily will lead to failure. do not attack adoptee’s DNA.

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 empathetic attunement to adoptee’s needs. Validation of #adoptees emotions . Acknowledgment of Difference: H David Kirk 1965

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 Someone in the world shows up for me every week: #adoptees need someone to show up. Aparents need to show up = self esteem

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 #adoptees – do I belong in this family? I was with that family and now here, so I belong?

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 adoptive parents need to be present in their adoptees lives. emotionally regulated vs disregulated.

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 Parental Context Affecting Attachment – being present vs being absent as a parent. Mindfulness. Experiencial avoidance

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 adoptive family life effects adoptee. Conceptual Relationships – directional trajectory – can’t predict. Context changes.

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 Genetic endowment + pre-adoptive experience: adoption outcome. Research shows prental experiences effect adoptee. cortosol levels

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 #adoptees are victims. Piaget, Freud. Does the past predict the future? Michael Grand -Variations of patterns – present alternative

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
@aac1978 Deep pain of loss in adoption felt by #adoptees -talk by Micheal Grand . Bonding begins in utero. Biorhythms

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr
– Dept of Psych-Univ of Guelph -Michael Grand – Understanding Adoption as Authentic Adoptive Self. Workshop. Here we go….

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily11 Apr Tweeting LIVE from @AAC1978 !!! Re-connecting with old and dear friends!

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily10 Apr
So, I have a few #cousins adoptive and natural – blood kin. Family who understand and care. Off to @AAC1978 now to gather with like minds!

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily10 Apr
As for any members of my #naturalfamily attending any conferences, reading books, discussing #adoption – no, no cooperation there.

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily10 Apr
But I never held it against my #naturalfather for giving me up. I knew he was in impossible situation. I told him not to worry.

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily10 Apr
On the contrary, only my #naturalfather talked with me about #adoption – he opened up freely abt his side of relinquishment, felt guilty

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily10 Apr
When #adoptiveparents open their minds to listen to their #adoptees – communication improves. Mom supported our efforts after yrs of arguing

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily10 Apr
My #adoptivemother cried when #SenatorPaulaBenoit was on TV a few yrs ago abt #MaineAdopteeAccessLaw Mom finally understood #adoptees truth

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily10 Apr
My #adoptivemother learned quit a bit about #adoption over the years. We discussed #surrogacy #sealedrecords #MaineAdopteesAccess

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily10 Apr
My #adoptivefather apologized for lying about the truth of my life. He died 8 years after my #reunion My #adoptivemother died 37 yrs later

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily10 Apr
Funny thing about #adoption, when I asked my #adoptiveparents to attend local support group meetings, they said no. Read any books? No.

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily10 Apr
I’m especially going to hug Ron Nydam – dear friend, mentor; battle with illness, he’s alive!! His book: Adoptees Come of Age. @AAC1978

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily10 Apr
So, all that research I did on The Hague Convention and United Nations – will talk it all out at @AAC1978 – great to be w/like-minded folks

oan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily10 Apr
@TheWickedOne666 Finally! PC tech was here, recovered data, lost open docs. Printer/scanner too old. Learning new OS. NOT what I need now..

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily10 Apr
@EtskyConsulting @aac1978 Thanks Etta! I’m delayed so’ll miss your talk today. Want to connect with you about The Hague Convention, imprtant

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily9 Apr
@7rin Don’t get me wrong, following L’s unfollows was a numbrs game, not a who’s-who. He’s a neat pal IRL. HE got me on Twitter!

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily9 Apr
#AAC is where I met all the great leaders of the #adoptees movement in years past. Getting back to live meetings.

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily9 Apr
@SherrieEldridge will you be at AAC con? I’ll bring your book – 20 Life Transforming Choices Adoptees Need to Make! Would love to meet you.
Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily9 Apr
Heh! I just Unfollowed Just UnFollow! Signed up as it was fun to follow a friend’s unfollows, but, really, just another game.

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily9 Apr
Great to have relatives coming over tonight. Cousins who are dear to me. Helping around the house, planning for warm weather.

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily9 Apr
When I get back, I’ll be re-visiting conversations left from when I lost my PC. Busy right now planning trip.

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily9 Apr
Great week ahead with adoption friends at conference.Perhaps I’ll be seeing many of you there at #AmericanAdoptionCongress !!!

Joan Wheeler?@forbiddenfamily9 Apr
Week from hell! Computer broke. Everything gone. Harddrive fried. Backup disk too. Starting from scratch with new PC bought with loan.

end of file


Abusers are Warned to Stay Away…so says Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel

ALWAYS a good thing to remember JUST want this idiot has done


Source: Abusers are Warned to Stay Away…so says Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel