Reclaiming our Family Honor!
Reclaiming and regaining our family honor…that was stolen from us!
Taking back what Joan M Wheeler stole from our family!
ॐ शान्तिः शान्तिः शान्तिः ॐ
om shanti shanti shanti om
UPDATE July 2015 added an LinkedIn account with a post
UPDATE March 2015 this post sums up the TRUE story of our family versus the ‘point of view’ of Joan Wheeler.
Update November 2014
The purpose of this blog is about exposing all the wrongs that Joan Wheeler has done to me and my family and telling the truth of myself and my family.
It would be wise to look at the ABOUT page to get updates that I have removed from this front page. It bears repeating…the sole purpose of this blog is about the behavior of Joan Wheeler.
Our commentary and reporting is our business.
The lying, hate filled book, called Forbidden Family, by Joan Wheeler is now dead. We told the truth and the publisher pulled the book because of its libelous contents. Joan Wheeler refuses to remove all of her blogs with that title and her hate words towards us.
This blog is to help reclaim OUR Family away from Joan Wheeler…she is the Forbidden One…she was NOT conceived in 1954, when this family picture was taken and can not claim this picture. She was adopted out of the family and when ‘reunited’ turned her hate and anger against us.
Originally posted on Refuting a Book of Lies: Forbidden Family --:
Joan Mary Wheeler has a written an article for “Dissident Voice” titled “End Identity Theft Caused by Adoption.”
It is a topic that Joan and other adult adoptees are very passionate about. And it is a topic that most people don’t think about because they haven’t experienced it or don’t know anyone who has.
Joan correctly points out that when people (usually adoptees) don’t have their original birth certificate (OBC), all sorts of problems arise. And many of those problems surfaced after the Homeland Security Act.
My own husband experienced these problems. He was born to an unwed teenage girl in 1943. He was not adopted, but due to shoddy paperwork by his family he was registered in Catholic grammer school under his step-father’s last name when his mother married the step-father. That step-father never adopted my husband – everyone just gave my husband that last name and that was…
View original 661 more words
Originally posted on The life and times of Joan M Wheeler; duped by adoption, a book study:
As I have stated, but if you have not seen it, according to Amazon’s policy, I am NOT allowed to ‘review’ the garbage book of Joan M Wheeler, because, according to my ‘purchases’ I am ‘known’ to the author! Dah! I’m in the dam book but I can’t write a review! And my name can NOT be published. So Amazon gave me a name; ‘a purchaser’. So that at least gives me the assumption that I am a ‘verified purchaser’ even though they won’t allow me to speak via my own name! So be it. I have many other avenues to speak my mind about Joan’s lies. Yes, for the record I have purchased the e-book and so have others in the family. Over time, this blog and the Facebook page shall get to the ‘guts’ of the book. For now I’m concentrating on reviews and working up many blog…
View original 788 more words
if you have NOT seen my new blog take a look…in the meanwhile…
here’s stuff to read
Originally posted on The life and times of Joan M Wheeler; duped by adoption, a book study:
I am placing each reviewer, and my comment to their review, in three separate posts, for they each are worth of a post of their own. This introduction paragraph will be used for each one, as the necessary background needed if the posts are read out of order.
When I first saw and then purchased Joan’s latest remake of OTHER peoples’ lives, there were no reviews. It wasn’t until AFTER she saw that I quoted her, on a news site, that she announce it and promote it. Once she did that I went back to Amazon and placed a review, which subsequently was removed because I ‘know’ the author! My name was removed, via Amazon, on my comments to the reviewers to read ‘a purchaser’. That’s Amazon’s policy! One of the three reviewers did NOT like my comment and removed her comment! Gosh what friends Joan has, they can’t…
View original 1,010 more words
Gert McQueen’s New Blog and New Facebook Page
The Blog’s title –
The Life and Times of Joan M Wheeler; Duped by Adoption, A book Study
an in-depth analyzes of the book Forbidden Family My Life as an Adoptee Duped by Adoption by Joan M Wheeler and the author’s first book Forbidden Family
The Facebook page title –
The life and times of Joan M Wheeler; duped by adoption, a book study
Be sure to check out the ‘about’ pages and
if you so feel like it…share them with your friends!
Thank you for your interest and support!
By her own admittance she is ‘no’ speaker…but a writer! Well that is debatable! She obviously has no skills in diplomacy either! If someone objects to her or affirms their freedom to do, or think, for themselves, Joan then resorts to browbeating, bullying and insults!
The following are some exchanges seen on Twitter recently, July 30/Aug 1, 2015
This is not the first time that we have seen Joan M Wheeler brow-beat others for ‘their’ choices in life; unfortunately it won’t be the last.
IT STARTED HERE….
Bee Girl retweeted Brienne of Snarth
Whose names you think should appear on BC of kid of a straight couple who uses a sperm donor to conceive?
The sperm donor. That is the child’s bio heritage and ancestry.
@femme_esq Many sperm donors would balk at the thought/responsibilities of being named the father. That is why they are anonymous.
@frommsb Don’t tell me, that’s the point I’m making. Tell the lady who told me all sperm donors are fathers! Ugh.
@femme_esq I know. I was just being frustrated.
@frommsb I know her perspective comes from pain but it’s real limiting for the rest of us!
Then again from @forbiddenfamily says
And again… @forbiddenfamily says
@BastardsUnite Please remove me from this conversation. I can’t repeat myself to them anymore.
@femme_esq Fair enough, but it’s a conversation you should have with the donor-conceived. Adoptees are the canaries in the coal mine.
@BastardsUnite Don’t tell me whom to talk to and what to talk about. Bye.
But she can’t stop…. @forbiddenfamily says
@forbiddenfamily she is fierce on many issues and we honor her request to be removed from these mentions.
@BastardsUnite So be it. It is interesting that those who clammer at us demanding answers always turn tail and run away when we give answers
At some point in there I said…
(That tweet of mine got over 47 views!)
But then she starts again…
AND from Michael Allen Potter @icartographer
NOTE FROM Gert… !!why the nasty input from the ‘kindle editor’ of Joan’s new e-book?
and Joan’s come back from @forbiddenfamily
AND Joan’s BS continues…she is just marginalizing her self more and more!
Birds of a feather…flock together!
And Joan and company complain that her birth siblings ‘bother’ people and are cyberbullies!
and she’s the great crusader against the evils of adoption on the globe!
Most people would call Joan’s voluntary advising INTERFERENCE. She just can not keep her nose out of other people’s business.
On this link..
Joan says… There are extenuating circumstances – oh, yes, he is their father, but there are private reasons he is not involed in his daughters’ lives.
And D N says…Joan Mary Wheeler And those private reasons are?They superceede the death of the mother?
And Joan says… Obviously I am not at liberty to discuss the details. And neither are the family who adopted the girls and neither is the reporter. Yes, there are extenuatiing circumstances concerning the father that supercede the death of the mother. The father was not named in this article for private reasons.
…. NOW, if you click on Joan’s icon on the thread you get directed to her facebook and can see the entire dialogue…
and Joan Mary Wheeler comments…
A friend of mine is a close friend of the deceased mother, Elizabeth Diamond. When she told me of the mother’s death and the impending adoption, I volunteered to help in the only way I knew: to give advice against the adoption. Why? Because I didn’t want the girls’ true identities to be sealed and then falsified by new birth certificates as this is what adoption does. Using my own life story as proof, I explained that I was given up to a closed adoption one month after the death of my mother from cancer. I was only three months old when my mother died. My father relinquished me to a closed adoption and kept his four older children. My adoption not only took away my family, but took away my birth certificate and gave me a completely new identity.
I did not want the same thing to happen to these girls. I did not want them to lose their true identities in order to have a home with their mother’s best friend.
I explained that legal guardianship would be a better choice, that Elizabeth Diamond’s best friend, Laura Ruffino, and her husband, Rico, could be legal guardians as opposed to adoptive parents. Guardianship, I explained, would preserve the four girls’ birth certificates, preserve Elizabeth Diamond’s place as their mother, and at the same time, give the four girls a stable home. Info was transferred to the attorney.
My friend later told me that the adoption was a necessary legal action to protect the girls. There are private, extenuating circumstances concerning the girls’ father. That is why he is not mentioned in the article.
It was determined that the girls would, indeed, maintain their own birth certificates in this adoption: their birth certificates would not be sealed and no new birth certificates would be made implying that the new adoptive parents gave birth to these four girls. For that, I am grateful. These girls lost their mother in April. They did not need to lose their identities upon adoption on top of losing their mother.
The general public needs to know that there are other alternatives to adoption. Promoting adoption, and only displaying the happy side of adoption, is very misleading. The finality of adoption, the striping away of a child’s identity, the sealing of birth certificates and the automatic issuance of a new birth certificate upon adoption are all aspects of adoption that need to be pointed out as unnecessary and harmful to all adopted people.
….SO… I place a comment on the Huffington article;
In response to
Joan Mary Wheeler said… I volunteered to help in the only way I knew: to give advice against the adoption. Why? Because I didn’t want the girls’ true identities to be sealed and then falsified by new birth certificates as this is what adoption does. Using my own life story as proof,
Well…that’s interesting! ‘volunteered’ is another way of saying ‘interfered with parental rights’. Joan did the same to me, in 1981, I told her it’s none of her business, forbade her contact with my minor children, she punished me by calling 2 false child-abuse reports.
Using HER life story also violates the privacies of both her birth and adoptive families; she has no problem ‘telling all’ and making it up as she goes! Her life isn’t anything special!
Some else said I’m frustrated when adopters tell all the details of children’s stories to others, and Needing money is not a excuse
Well Joan is not an adopter but she tells the details of everyone in the birth and adoptive families as well as misrepresenting things, for dramatic effects! and she does it for fame and fortune! ….
Then I see that D. N. says…
right on Jenny, fathers are to busy being portrayed as rapists, thieves, pedophiles, & gays. Turn on your TV and find a commerical with a man in it. It’s a woman and her daughter. I guess the man is in the garage with his son showing him some porn, drinking beer, and polishing up the 9 mm. Joan how come you appear to be so close to the situation? You the family lawyer or the husbands mistress?
and Gert says…
D. N. she can’t stay out of other people’s business! She believes adoption is an evil, and she’ll get into the face of anyone who adopts for any reason. Like I said, she interferred in my parental decision to adopt. That family needs to be aware of her ‘interest’…it is totally self-servicing.
Then D.N. said
I adopted, and 3 years ago, my wife was killed. The single parent thing is tuff plus I got my 90 year old mom I care for. No social life here. Good for you for adopting.
And Gert said
D.N. sorry for your loss, in 1981 my second husband and I wanted to adopted my children they were 15 and 16, daughter didn’t want it, fine, son did. Their father was and wasn’t there, he had another family. Joan decided that my adopting my own son was wrong and her interfereance was too much etc etc and I CUT HER OUT of my life but she will not go away, she HAS written 2 books .get away from her
And then Ruth said
Joan Mary Wheeler despite painting herself as a herioine, and a protector of privacy, DISCLOSED the reason why the bio-father is not involved. and she did it a few comments below (on her facebook) after saying that she wouldn’t because of privacy.
….. Like I said Joan just can not keep her nose out of other people’s business. She doesn’t want what happened to her to happen to another…that’s no excuse for her to mess with people’s PARENTAL RIGHTS and mess with other people’s CHILDREN. Joan has a victim mentality and thinks she must save everyone. She is always looking for some ‘high profile’ story, such as this one, to sink her teeth in…like the mad dog she is!
Some day someone will really give her what she deserves!
Yep…Just when I was getting all those BACK FILES under control…well actually no, I have lots of files I haven’t seen in…ah four years!
Joan does have diarrhea of the mouth and thinks she is untouchable. Nope, she’s only human as we all are. Now that she has published her NEW revised book she’s flying HIGH. She’s in for a huge fall!
All in good time! Stay tuned, same station and A NEW ONE COMING!
and remember…where I live the winters are long…that means I have more time to write ALL about Joan M Wheeler and answer all she has to say! After four years of blogging, I’ve only JUST BEGAN to discredit this liar and exploiter of my family!
Happy Anniversary with WordPress.com!You registered on WordPress.com 4 years ago!Thanks for flying with us. Keep up the good blogging!
I do apology for my lack of judgement when I stated that the screen name of ‘Denied My Rights’ was Joan M Wheeler. See comments below from Denied My Rights and my apology and explanation of events of why I assumed what I assumed.
We all know that Joan’s first book was pulled for libelous contents. She then started working on a 2nd edition and created another site; http://identity-press.com Fine, knock yourself out.
I found the new version, in e-book format, in June 2015. It was published and placed on Amazon in May 2015. Ruth and I have been going over it and will address it as we did in the first one. We were WONDERING why she hadn’t announced it! Well she had a plan, but first she had to make a power play. Only time will tell, but my bet is on ‘she’ll lose’ cause she is DANGEROUS.
Using Joan’s own mocking ways, as she has in the book, when she attempts to teach people, she says, ‘the word is ‘adoptee’, you can say it, A, D, O, P, T, E, E…good’. Well now folks, remember Joan M Wheeler is ‘D,A,N,G,E,R,O,U,S.’ If I had the time right now I’d find the reference in both versions of the book but…not right now.
The first item to present here is referencing this post on Ruth’s blog for background.
The second item to present is the referencing news article
What follows, here, is a dialogue with one called ‘Denied My Rights’…who is Joan M Wheeler. As soon as I read her comments, and knowing the back ground of the attack she did to another, there was NO doubt in my mind and so I decided to ‘play along’ with Denied! Enjoy!
Denied My Rights says: June 27, 2015 at 8:58 pm
Nothing taken out of context, Joyce. I just will not accept defeat before the bill is signed into law. I think as a leader in adoption reform, you should be encouraging people to unite with one voice and demand justice rather than playing the naysayer and proclaiming it a done deal. You said it was going to pass before the Senate adjournment and that did not happen due to the other Lobby’s efforts to unite people to voice their concerns. It appears that you do not have the stomach to lead this anymore, so please do us all a favor and step down from your leadership role if you are not going to lead with strength and professionalism.
So ‘Denied My Rights’… whom do you suggest should take over the leadership? Yourself? What qualifications of ‘strength and professionalism’ do YOU have? What is your game plan?
Denied My Rights says: July 15, 2015 at 12:49 pm
No, there IS another lobby group already working in Albany; New York Adoptee Equality. The group is co-run by two adoptees who are attorneys with successful practices in their own right. They have done a much better job at lobbying NY in their short tenure than UI and Joyce Bahr have done in the many years preceding. Their track record for making inroads with legislators speaks for itself. They have my full support and my efforts will be conducted with them.
gertmcqueen says July 15, 2015 at 10:34 pm
Denied My Rights… really there’s another group! I haven’t heard about them, there’s tons of lawyers out there you know! Who are THEY? What have they DONE at lobbying? TELL ME! I want specifics! I want DETAILS! What are their NAMES? What lobbying have they done? I want to KNOW their track record so PLEASE give me details! I’m sure they have YOUR support BUT I don’t even know their NAMES! Tell me, Denied My Rights…so I can give my support!
Bredna says: July 16, 2015 at 11:56 am yes – inquiring minds want to know – names and qualifications please. I never throw my support blindly to something until I know who I am dealing with.
Denied My Rights says: July 16, 2015 at 12:04 pm If you want to know about the other lobby group, look them up. New York State Adoptee Equality.
Denied My Rights… Do you know who wrote the following?
“In June of 2014, a group of angry, disgruntled misfit adoptees banded together to form their own activist organization after the NY Legislature slapped a chokehold on the existing Adoptees’ Bill of Rights two days before the bill came up for a vote. In what should have been a vote to give adoptees permission to receive uncertified copies of their sealed birth certificate, NY adoptees roes up, called their legislators to kill the bill. The bill was indeed killed, resulting in yet another year of wasted effort by adoptee activists. Better this than to have a law that would give a small group of hysterical birthmothers, judges, and adoption agencies their way, to claim that ‘birth’ parents have the right to remain anonymous and to redact their names from the released birth certificate and to prevent adoptees from contacting them. The new adoptee lobby group, NY state Adoptee Equality, can be found on facebook and twitter at @NYAdoptEquality.”
Denied My Rights says: July 16, 2015 at 2:40 pm Nope.
Denied My Rights says: July 16, 2015 at 2:45 pm And I cannot find this quote anywhere. Where did you find that quote? It might help find out who wrote it.
Denied My Rights says: July 16, 2015 at 2:49 pm
And, from their description, I can assume that they are not supporters of equal rights for adoptees.
elmer says: July 16, 2015 at 4:51 pm
So am I correct that your view is that the birth mother has no rights? Isn’t it a situation where rights have to be balanced?
Denied My Right… humm really! I found the quote in a new e-book, Forbidden Family; My Life as an Adoptee Duped by Adoption, By Joan Mary Wheeler Published May 2016 quote is in Chapter 52 ‘recommendations for change’ location 8024
‘elmer’… I don’t know to whom you are addressing those questions. I just presented the quote, seeing that ‘denied my rights’ seemed to know about them but apparently could not recognize the quote I quoted. I have given my source and have no official opinion on the questions.
Denied did not reply to me but only to Elmer.
Denied My Rights says: July 16, 2015 at 7:44 pm
Hi Elmer. Actually, no. The original legislation was a balance of rights. There was a contact preference form for both the natural mother and the adoptee that would all the parties to designate if they wanted contact, did not want contact, or wanted contact only through an intermediary. The adoptee would still receive an uncertified copy of their original birth certificate, and the natural parents had the right to ask for no contact and provide updated medical information to the adoptee. It was a great piece of legislation.
End of comments…
Now within hours Joan M Wheeler puts out a couple of news releases on her web site and this new site.
We will get back to this is a moment…
So I go back to the news article and submitted again…perhaps it will be published perhaps not but here it is…
gertmcqueen says: Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Denied My Rights…it truly must be a coincidence (wink, wink) but once I told you the source of the quote, that you said you could NOT find anywhere, within hours, amazingly the author Joan M Wheeler announced the ebook WORLDWIDE! I’m sure the book will help adoptees around the world, RECIEVE their OBCs…including my own adult adopted child. I want to thank you and your group for helping so many!
Now back to Joan’s worldwide announcement of her 2nd libelous book. I placed a review of my own on Amazon, and guess what? Anything on Amazon goes WORLDWIDE by its own…Joan is a drama queen. She doesn’t make her announcement go, Amazon does.
She played coy on the news article site; nope, don’t know, can’t find it, bah bah bah! Asshole! But the second she read my comment quoting her she knew I KNEW. So she ignores me and plows ahead with poor Elmer!
Guess what? the WORLD IS WATCHING YOU JOAN
The cat is OUT OF THE BAG. Joan Wheeler is still a liar, doesn’t matter how many books she does, she still is a liar and a sneaky and a bully.
People really don’t know Joan Wheeler, let alone understand her. We, the birth siblings, have known and seen the real Joan, we were her FIRST victims! And because we share the same parents we are forever her VICTIMS!
Joan works herself up over the ‘visions’ she has of becoming a world renown ‘adoption reform activist’. She claims she is, a reform activist, but in really she just is a hateful person that hates adoption, going after anyone who adopts. Is that what adoption reformers do?
She thinks that she can gain ‘national’ attention by sucking up to others, hanging on their shirt tails and eventually taking over. Oh mark my words! She will use anyone for her own parade! Be watchful…all you adoption reformers…whether you pay attention to Joan, know her or not…SHE WILL USE YOU and then toss you away the second you disagree with her.
Joan never thinks things through. Her thinking is piece-meal and one-sided…her side. She gets an idea, and instead of ‘working’ on it, she plows ahead and tells anyone who will listen to her, that she will CREATE an event! Then when that falls apart, she FORGETS about that and the person, moving on to the next great ideal she has! That’s what a narcissistic does!
Back in December 2013, Joan was going to create an event, for local news coverage, that would attract ‘national’ attention. She broadcasted her intentions, said she even had a ‘local’ news-camera man lined up…she was going to have IT happen!
Well, IT did not happen!
At one point, as I see Joan’s ‘foaming at the mouth’ with her ‘great event’ bullshit, I decided to made contact with one of the adoption reform ‘matriachs’. I don’t have my original message, to share, but I do have the email ‘exchange’ between myself and the matriach.
I had cced my response to Ruth who said to me, privately, ‘very nicely put Gert’
Like we have been saying along, Joan is a dangerous person, particularly to those that haven’t a clue of her illnesses and how she will USE another!
here is the exchange…
I’m responding to the note you sent to …. following our press release. First, I want to apologize for being unaware of Joan’s activities. I do not know her very well, but have seen her presence. She did send me a note after that press release and I wasn’t quite sure what all she was referring to, but did not respond. I’m 75 now and don’t travel anymore so won’t be going anywhere!
But I wanted to acknowledge your note and thank you for making us cognizant of what’s going on. Please feel free to message me directly through FB or my e-mail…
Date: Tue, 17 Dec 2013 06:01:19 -0800
Subject: thank you for your reply
To: ….; gertmcqueen; ruthbpace
Thank you very much for your reply.
There is no need for you to apologize for not knowing about Joan’s activities; many are either unaware or don’t care. That is, in my opinion, where the danger is to those that have worked so hard for your cause. I am aware of your work and the difficulties you suffered and felt it would be a shame to be derailed by not knowing and being dragged into a mess.
I gave 20 years of my life for a cause and was betrayed several times, but even today, in the circles of my cause, I am remembered for always being true and not compromising the ‘cause’ for personal reasons. This is something that Joan doesn’t get. She does what she does purely for personal reasons. I believe that, this time around, she is looking for a ‘named pioneer’ to back her, but again that’s just my personal opinion.
I certainly can appreciate your age and not traveling. I am 67 and don’t travel either!
Again, thank you. Hope that you and yours have a wonderful peaceful joyful holiday season. Gert
also see this development
…it back-fires on her!
Somehow I saw the following site, dated February 26, 2014, on which Joan made comments on or about 29 June 2015. Joan was probably LOOKING for something that related to the recent Supreme Court decision about gay marriages. In any event, it led to a couple of replies/comments by me and sister Ruth.
Oh and if Joan Wheeler is ‘self-employed’ perhaps the state of New York Disability would LIKE TO KNOW that, as Joan is receiving SSI and can NOT work and receive benefits!
Claudia Corrigan D’Arcy and to Martha Osborne —
I caution against ANY adoption at all! Here is why: if you adopt an older child out of foster care, that child has a name, knows that she has two parents who, for whatever reason, cannot be effectual parents but who are, indeed, that child’s parents. That child who is 4 or 6 or 8 years old, knows she has a name and knows the names of her parents. Perhaps she has brothers and sisters. When an older child is adopted out of foster care (or in any other adoption) the child’s name is changed. She goes through 4 or 6 or 8 years with one name, but then, because of adoption, is now, POOF, a brand new person with a new first and middle and last name.
And as adopting parents, you won’t be told that your act of adopting to make this child “your own” will force that child to lose her birth certificate. The State will automatically remove the validity of the actual birth certificate, seal it forever, and replace it with a new, amended – FALSIFIED – birth certificate with the names of the adopting parents on it CLAIMING THAT YOU IN FACT CONCIEVED AND GAVE BIRTH TO THIS CHILD.
For ANY adoptive parent to claim this is a LIE. For a husband and a wife – a heterosexual couple – to do this is horrendous, yet, this is what adoption really is. For GAY MEN or LESBIAN women to do this is disgusting.
To make a baby, we all know that it takes one egg and one sperm to create another human being. To proudly go around showing off the NEW birth certificate with TWO MOTHERS or TWO FATHERS, just tells the world how utterly ridiculous and illogical the matter really is.
When your little adopted child grows up (if you adopt an infant) or when your older adopted child learns the Birds and the Bees, he or she will come to you and ask, “Where is my mother?” (If you are two gay men) and “Where is my father?” (If you are two lesbians). Your adopted child will know there is something wrong in the logic behind preventing your acquired adoptee from ever knowing the truth.
Your names DO NOT belong on a Birth Certificate. Instead, tell the truth by insisting that the older child from foster care or the newborn retain her or his actual birth certificate and you and your married spouse will be named on an ADOPTION CERTIFICATE. Why? Because birth and adoption are two separate events.
NO adoptive parent should have the right to steal a child’s identity by means of adoption!
So, in addition to what Claudia Corrigan D’Arcy has stated in her article, please take heed: Guardianship keeps the infant and older child’s actual birth certificate intact and NO false birth certificate is created by the state government.
Don’t like what I am saying? 7 to 10 million adoptees have NO CHOICE in suffering permanent identity theft imposed upon us by state laws that replace our actual identities with fake ones – just because SOMEONE – GAY or STRAIGHT – wants a child.
Until we recognize this not-disclosed fact about adoption, and until we make it a part of ALL adoptions to NEVER confiscate an infant’s or older child’s actual and factual birth certificate and NEVER replace it with one that legally states false facts presented as true, then adoption will provide a home for a child in need while respecting that child’s true identity. That is what Guradianship does now, but no one promotes it because Adoption is big business.
Think about the civil and human rights of the infant or older child YOU want and think about how YOU fought for YOUR rights. Who is going to fight for the rights of your tiny adoptee? People like me, that’s who!
I was born Doris Michol Sippel in 1956, but New York State stole my identity and forced me into a type of witness protection program. I have known my name at birth for 41 years now – and I have my certified birth certificate and adoption papers (my adoptive parents gave them to me) but I do not have the legal right to own my own birth certificate. Instead, New York State insists that I must be hidden away and re-born by adoption. There is no shame in my birth as I as born within a ten year marriage and my mother died when I was three months old.
So, please, THINK before you act upon your desires to take someone else’s child as your own. Jun 29, 2015 4:24pm
So I replied on June 30 2015
Joan Mary Wheeler She said… ‘When an older child is adopted out of foster care (or in any other adoption) the child’s name is changed. … but then, because of adoption, is now, POOF, a brand new person with a new first and middle and last name.’
I adopted, with 2nd husband, my son, age 16, he HAD TO GIVE HIS PERMISSION, by NY state law, to be adopted. My daughter, age 15, choose NOT to be adopted. Yes, my son’s name and parentage was changed, but that was HIS CHOICE and my and my husband’s business.
I was told, by a person who hates all things adoption, that I was HARMING my child. I was called unfit. My parental rights were violated, behind my back, as my children were told NOT TO LISTEN TO ME, by this person. When I forbid that person to have contact with my children I had false child abuse reports upon myself/husband, TWICE.
She also said… ‘Guardianship keeps the infant and older child’s actual birth certificate intact and NO false birth certificate is created by the state government.’
Guardianship doesn’t always work…adoption does.
Finally she says… ‘the hell I have lived for the past 41 years speaking out about this very injustice of renaming, I have felt the shame and degradation that is because of being adopted.’
Sounds like a lot of self-induced and self-inflicted….self-flagellation.
Then I saw from M C B…
Joan Mary Wheeler, thank god there is no shame in your birth like us bastards
Joan Mary Wheeler replied…
M C B While at first glance there is no shame, the hell I have lived for the past 41 years speaking out about this very injustice of renaming, I have felt the shame and degradation that is because of being adopted. I have been told, by adopted family and natural family, that I “live in the past” and that I “must get over it” and that I need to “stop being obsessed with adoption.” All the pitfalls of being a bastard are bestowed upon me because I am an outspoken adoptee pointing out the flaws and social injustice in the institution of adoption. June 30, 2015
M C B replied…
when you say there is no shame in your birth as you as born within a ten year marriage, you infer that there is shame born outside of marriage. I refuse to feel shame for being born. You are talking to someone who doesn’t know if they were named. You have your OBC, you know your name, and you can research your genetic history. June 30, 2015
To which Joan replied
M C B I meant no harm. I know that the laws that bind our birth certificates were created to hide illegitimacy and others want to make adopteess feel shame. … I meant that I am treated with shame becasue I am adotped. I was found by siblings I never knew I had. It was a bitter-west reunion, and very complicated. My adoptive motehr threw my birth certifcate at me in a fit of anger at my reunion as she never watned me to know the truth as she was afraid I would leave her. I was picked on, shunned, by both families. Yes, I can trace my family tree and I do have some close relatives on both families, but the mentality of most of my relatives was that I was wrong to accept a phone call from siblings I was never suppsoed to know. It really speaks to adoption mythology. And I fight for the freedom of all adoptees. I wish you all the best.
It looks like Joan was beginning to come apart at the seams so I replied….
Joan Mary Wheeler Not all adoptees are ‘made to feel shame’. My son’s adoption was NOT shameful! Now was it? Certainly your birth family, when reunited with you, did NOT treat you in that way, ever! The reunion was NOT complicated until your own behaviors made relationships ‘complicated’. Your relationship with your adoptive family has nothing to do with the birth family. Please stop! Let it go!
And Ruth replied… Gert Mcqueen she won’t ever let it go because she is pissed that she was adopted out and we weren’t. And now we must be punished for that and for setting limits in our lives. To not be lied to, stolen from, manipulated into arguements. After money was stolen from a joint checking account that I had with her to buy real estate, money that she used for HER living expenses, because I made more $$$ than her and her husband I told her to leave my life. that was when the 25 years of harassment from her began.
I have had a career for 43 years and my paycheck is mine to spend on what I want – but she wants to pass judgment on what I buy. This is why our reunion failed and she was shunned – she was shunned because of her incessant troublemaking and lying about people. And stealing.
If I’ve proven her point that adoption is a bad thing, I don’t care – I want her to stop slandering me. And she did it to someone else recently – Joyce Bahr and using the very same phrases she says about me – that we “are deeply affected” by – whatever – and we “won’t admit it.” –
She is a chronically unemployed person with a social work degree, but has never worked as a social worker, let alone a psychologist or psychiatrist – but can pass judgments on me and Joyce and others.
Until Joan accepts the life that has been given her she shall never be happy. She is not fighting for anyone’s rights, she is pissed off because she’s adopted. Get a life!