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Reclaiming our Family Honor!

Reclaiming and regaining our family honor…that was stolen from us!

Taking back what Joan M Wheeler stole from our family!

ॐ शान्तिः शान्तिः शान्तिः ॐ
om shanti shanti shanti om

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UPDATE OCTOBER 2016

I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler (Doris Michol Sippel) says about me and family. The first book ‘Forbidden Family, A Half Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism‘ was pulled from publication by the publisher in May 2011. Then in 2015, she ‘self-published’ a ‘revised’ version calling it ‘Forbidden Family, an adoptee duped by adoption’. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor! Then in 2016 Joan changed her name back to her birth name and rewrote and republished the SAME crap in another book; a Third edition! CALLED ‘Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity’! Talk about conning people!

https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/

this blog’s title/sub title is… DUPED BY ADOPTION & AN WOMAN’S STRUGGLE FOR IDENTITY, A BOOK STUDY an in-depth analyzes of the books called Forbidden Family; My Life as an Adoptee Duped by adoption & An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity by Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel.

https://www.facebook.com/dupedbyadoptionStruggleforIdentity1/

UPDATE Sept 2015 my new blog…

Duped by adoption, a book study An in-depth analyzes of the book Forbidden Family My Life as an Adoptee Duped by Adoption.

https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/

and a new Facebook page

https://www.facebook.com/dupedbyadoption1

THE FOLLOWING LINK IS IMPORTANT TO SEE JUST HOW SNEAKING AND DANGEROUS JOAN IS…

https://gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/2012/08/14/it-boggles-the-mindjoan-wheeler-hates-her-blood-family-yet-uses-the-dead-members-of-the-birth-family-and-another-dead-person-to-hide-behind-and-attack-the-living-birth-members/

UPDATE July 2015 added an LinkedIn account with a post

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/heres-what-i-am-all-gert-mcqueen

UPDATE March 2015 this post sums up the TRUE story of our family versus the ‘point of view’ of Joan Wheeler.

https://gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/2015/03/02/joanwheeler-has-a-new-business-is-asking-for-submissions-heres-mine-flipthescript/

Update November 2014

The purpose of this blog is about exposing all the wrongs that Joan Wheeler has done to me and my family and telling the truth of myself and my family.

It would be wise to look at the ABOUT page to get updates that I have removed from this front page. It bears repeating…the sole purpose of this blog is about the behavior of Joan Wheeler.

Our commentary and reporting is our business.

The lying, hate filled book, called Forbidden Family, by Joan Wheeler is now dead. We told the truth and the publisher pulled the book because of its libelous contents. Joan Wheeler refuses to remove all of her blogs with that title and her hate words towards us.

This blog is to help reclaim OUR Family away from Joan Wheeler…she is the Forbidden One…she was NOT conceived in 1954, when this family picture was taken and can not claim this picture. She was adopted out of the family and when ‘reunited’ turned her hate and anger against us.

Yep, the worst thing Joan Wheeler ever did was to publish that lying book. Now she will have to live with that dead book tied around her neck until we set everything in it straight and right and it starts to stink and rot OR she decides to make it right and remove ALL references to Forbidden Family on her two web sites and apology to us siblings and our parents!
Warning…the contents of this blog are not suitable for young impressible minds or for people who believe everything Joan Wheeler has said or written. Believe her at your own risk! She is a user of people!
see joint post of Gert and Ruth
update of February 2014…Joan has still NOT answered any of our charges against her…in fact when asked directly she runs and hides away, or screams that we are harassing her…so we shall continue on until she answers to the dirty deeds and words she has said and deeds she has done. Joan still has NOT removed her hate blogs against us or gotten her friends to get rid of theirs, so we shall just carry on. Everything Joan and her friends have done to the birth family are part of the historical record.
 NEW COMMENTS JAN 3, 2016

HI there! I had the unfortunate experience of reading Joan Wheeler’s book (it was free on Kindle and in my interest area). I’m adopted, and have recently extricated myself from a disastrous reunion forced on me by my birth family. All that said…Joan Wheeler is a self-pitying narcissist. I feel bad for you and your family. You reached out to her in what seems to be hope and love only to have the door repeatedly slammed on your hand…then she blames you for ruining her door jam! Her writing in this book is wheedling and ‘oh they don’t make me the center of my universe so I’ll make them!’ in tone. You and your family are in my prayers that she either wises up or just stops out of boredom.

Edit

  • Jan 3, 2016…I’m replying to the about comment of same date

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us who are named in that latest garbage book of Joan M Wheeler. Glad to know that you didn’t have to pay $$ for it! I did pay for the Kindle but for the printed edition, with discounts, I paid .76 cents…yes seventy-six cents! This book, just like the first one, will never be any kind of ‘best-seller’ for she is speaking to a very small ‘crowd’ that think like herself. There are many out there, like yourself who ‘see’ behind what she writes.

    I’m glad that you KNOW about narcissistic behaviors for they can cause tremendous difficulties for anyone who gets ‘close’ to them. I’d encourage everyone to learn more about those types of behaviors for self-protection. Unfortunately, Joan will never ‘wise up’ nor ‘stop’ for any reason, because she is a narcissistic that NEEDS constant attention and she hates adoption.

    Sorry to hear that you have had a ‘disastrous reunion’; reunions are NOT easy for anyone and when they go horribly wrong, no one wins. Keep in mind that generally all families can be ‘messy’, doesn’t matter whether one is adopted or not, and if you can maintain proper boundaries, those messes won’t get too bad. Your life is your life, live it as you see fit to live it!

    Thank you for keeping us in your prayers, as we will you.

     

    I made a new blog post on my “REFUTING A BOOK OF LIES: FORBIDDEN FAMILY BY JOAN M. WHEELER by Joan M. Wheeler – exposing her lies”
    https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/2016/01/03/2016-a-new-year-and-im-back-to-blog-about-joan-mary-wheelers-lies-in-her-forbidden-family-trashbook/

     

Doris M Sippel/Joan M Wheeler doesn’t care about ethics! She just exposes & exploits two families with her hate!

ethics in writing memoirs…

duped by adoption & an woman's Struggle for Identity, a book study

Are there ethics when writing a ‘memoir’? How does someone exam their own reasons for exposing ‘all’ and how do they know their reasons are sound? What do the experts say?

I’ve read many authors and writing experts on tips for writing, in general and memoirs in particular and for the most part they all present solid reasons and tips. Many memoir writers don’t care about what the experts say, or anyone for that matter, because they are only interested in continuing on with their own HATE agendas.

Seen on Twitter…

Linda Joy Myers Ph.D ‏@MemoirGuru  24 Dec 2016

When you put real people in your memoir, even if the portraits are positive, it’s good form to notify them. http://bit.ly/2dGEsnl  #memoir

^^^^

So I clicked on the link provided and got an error message.

http://namw.org/2010/08/secrets-and-tips-write-a-powerful-memoir/

But the post can be seen on these following links

http://namw.org/blog/

http://namw.org/author/linda/page/91/

Here now is…

View original post 1,388 more words

Don’t take that bone, of contention, away from mad-dog Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel! (3 of 6)

When Joan/Doris sets her sights on a pro-adoption person she just can’t let them and it alone! I’ve written about several comments left by Joan on this site…

http://ouradopt.com/adoption-blog/jan-2009/lisas/ready-set-sign

Unfortunately is that site is no longer available.

Here are the links to part one and two of this series of six

https://gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/2017/02/01/browbeating-and-insults-abound-as-joan-m-wheelerdoris-m-sippel-is-unable-to-control-herself-1-of-6/

https://gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/2017/02/23/dangerous-combination-for-adoptees-when-joan-m-wheelerdoris-m-sippel-believes-her-own-bs-as-she-slanderslibels-others-2-of-6/

SEE END OF THIS POST FOR UPDATED INFORMATION

So well, here is another of her rampages, under her name half-orphan. (all spellings within her comments are hers) My comments will begin with Gert says.

my rights to my birth record are my civil rights

Submitted by half-orphan on Mon, 01/05/2009 – 13:33.

Hi Anneadoptee, Hi also to Marjorie,

One would think that it would be easier to request and receive our sealed records after even one week or one day being reunited, but for some reason, our lives are treated by The Gate Keepers as if we are poison.

Gert says… First here’s a definition of gatekeeper;

A gatekeeper is a human who controls access to something, for example via a city gate. In the late 20th century the term came into metaphorical use, referring to individuals who decide whether a given message will be distributed by a mass medium.

So obviously she believes that adoptees are victims of society’s ‘ignorance’ of the adoptees’ plight. Nice touch there, saying that adoptees are ‘poison’. Yep, Joan is great with adjectives!

half-orphan says..

In 1985, 9 years after reunion, I petitioned Surrogate’s Court of Erie County, New York, for my adoption papers. The guy with the control, opened up the records, partially. At that point, he said, and he wasn’t a judge, I was “entitled” only to the Final Order of Adoption. I, being the grateful little adoptee, sat there as this jerk read all of the other papers…glancing through, he spotted my adoptive father’s name and said, “good man, he must be proud to have you as his adopted daughter.” yeah, I felt like sying, “Yeah, he WAS, he’s only been dead now for 3 years,” but I didn’t say anything. As if, my adoptive father’s pride meant anything at all. It didn’t. I was there as an adult of 29 years. The transaction had nothing to do with a minor child asking permission from any parent, NO, I was there acting on my own behalf!

Gert says…

Yes, her mocking ways are a bit difficult to grasp, you have to read it more than once to finally get through all her sarcasm! She hates anyone ‘in or with control’ because that means that she is ‘their’ victim! So…’the guy with the control’…’who wasn’t a judge’…told her she’s ‘entitled’ ONLY to…

Joan has no conception that the ‘worker-bees’ are just DOING their jobs according to the rules governing their job/position.

In that libelous book, she tells about how she ‘tracked’ down the parish priest who signed the ‘false’ baptismal certificate BUT he was in a nursing home dying so she left him to ‘meet his maker’! Kid you NOT! Just like the guy she mentions here, he and the priest, are just worker-bees and YET they are subjected to Joan’s berating, insulting and condemnations!

This phrase, ‘the grateful little adoptee’, is a form of torture in Joan’s mind as well as in other adoptees. Well the GREATESS gift anyone can give to themselves is to say THANK YOU. But, to certain types of personalities, like Joan, they are NOT thankful of HAVING a life! They hate their life and therefore will never be happy.

Note how she dismissed the adoptive father’s role in HER life! The man was lucky to have died early, at least he was spared the wrath of Joan’s hate into his nineties as the adoptive mother endured!

half-orphan says..

Look you people! The way Americans view adoptees is pathetic! We are not trash, nor are we possessions, nor are we splitting loyalties if we seek our birth and adoption records. We are humans and deserve to be treated with respect due US. We are not slaves, indentured servants, nor are we members of one family only. Adoptees have two sets of real parents. That means, respect given to our ancestors, including our parents who gave us life, and respect given to our adoptive parents. BUT, when do these two sets of parents give US respect? We are told by “protectors” of the rights of “unwed mothers” that we must respect their privacy, but no one says that our parents must respect us.

Gert says…

The great and wonderful Joan has commanded the ‘people’s attention’! She WANTS respect, but doesn’t give anyone else RESPECT. Why does she think adoptees are slaves and indentured servants? Of course there are bad people doing bad things to other people, happens all the time, but to equate adoption with these qualifications LIMITS good things about adoption and puts it into the garbage dump. To Joan and those like her, adoption is an evil! They see the rest of the world through that lens! Joan wants what she denies others!

half-orphan says..

There is Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, but no Children’s Respect Day, or, better yet, how about Adoptees’ Respect Day?

Gert says…

How about lobbying Hallmark Cards or the United States Congress? Only they can make that happen.

half-orphan says..

Indigenous peoples the world over have deep respect for ancestors, for they are the ones who propegated the planet. Who we are today is a direct result of biological inheritance: what we look like and our unique body chemistry is inherited. That tie is sacred. For those of you who think that natural parents need protection from the very offspring they created and released into the world, think again! And be grateful for the parents YOU have, because, if you (john) had to face any or all of the injustices we adoptees have to face, you’d crumble from the stress and strain, the psychological torture, and the physical trap. Look into the mirror and be glad (John and all who want to defend “hiding” “birthmothers” that you can look into the mirror and know from where you get your eyes, your nose, and that immune system that has just given you an autoimmune disease requireing extensive medical care.

Gert says…

While I agree that there are some ‘good’ arguments for open records and release of medical information the way Joan goes about ‘informing’ people actually puts them OFF. And when she singles someone out, in this case ‘John’, she is making her statement PERSONAL; that is ALWAYS a receipt for not being heard! Never make it, your social cause, personal! Joan has no training in people skills or sensitivity of other’s feelings. Here it is obvious that Joan is attacking John because he is defending the other, which Joan hates! Joan and her opinions are what matters, only! Also note how in her anger she misspells and forgets capitalizations.

half-orphan says..

Us poor slobs known as adoptees (even after reunion because our bllod kin is afraid to give us informationon their medical issues due to HIPPA laws)have to tell doctors that “I’m adopted” and therefore, cannot possibly give you extensive, multi-level and cross-level charts of who-has-what. No, our parents, all of them, owe US respect and courtesy and honor.

Gert says…

Gee!! She can’t even have nice words to say about herself and fellow adoptees! Joan got her medical information FROM the birth family, yet she STILL denies what it says. Why? Because she has a story-line and the TRUTH, of the medical information, does not fit her story line! Again, she wants respect, courtesy and honor from the birth family! The very things she DENIES the birth family and others who adopt or who are pro-adoption! Two-faced, forked tongue idiot!

half-orphan says..

We have to go through life battling the whims and opinions of others, who think they have the right to open there mouths and spill out, “I think that adoptees should…” or, “Well, my friend adopted a girl from China and…” Who the f… cares? NO one gives plumbers or carpenters or auto mechanics their opinions right from the start of every conversation on how to do their jobs! Why does the general public think we give a damn about their opinions on our state of life? Do these opinions do anything at all? NO.

Gert says…

Why does she ‘battle’ so? Because that’s all she knows how to do! She has never learned that the whims and opinions of others do NOT define one’s self! She has no inner peace because she is full of hate. She can NOT accept the life that she has! And, as she continues spitting her hate out, she continues to spin out and out of control! HER opinions do nothing at all? Her opinions DO NOT change others’ opinions. And that is what and why she continues to do BATTLE. She NEEDS to stop browbeating people because she doesn’t agree with their opinions! She NEEDS to stop TELLING pro-adoption people WHAT THEY SHOULD BE THINKING AND DOING.

half-orphan says..

The only ones to actually do anything about prejudice against adoptees are other adoptees (and natural parents) who understand the deeper levels of prejudice. There are many ignorant adoptees who claim that the only parents they have are the ones who raised them, well, for these opinion-makers, I feel so much insulted by them. They try to inflict their denial onto me, and other adoptees.

Gert says…

Joan is mixing several ‘themes’ here together, no wonder people can’t understand her. She is allowing her inner tormentS out in a mixed bag of confusion. She is ‘insulted’ by other adoptees who obviously DON’T believe as she does! Poor thing! She hates this ‘other type of adoptee’ perhaps more for INFLICTING their denial onto her! What a fucked up mess Joan is! Joan believes that adoptees that accept their ‘condition’ of adoption and their adoptive parents as being IGNORANT.

half-orphan says..

Every adoptee has two sets of real parents! Everyone on the planet needs to accept that fact of life for adoptees. Accept that, and then we can proceed to the next step: give adoptees back our civil rights to the documents of our births and adoption. The general public need not have access to these records, but we, the victims of closed, sealed adoption, do need access to our own records.

Gert says…

Here we hear Joan’s authoritative pronouncement; everyone on the planet MUST accept what Joan says and THEN we can proceed to the next step! Holy Shit! Shaking in my boots.

half-orphan says..

Thanks for Reading this, and yes, in time, I’ll check into other’s websites and blogs…got a lot of reading to do!

Gert says…

How does she know that anyone reads her ranting? The only things she reads is about adoption and she wants the entire planet to read the same as she does.

half-orphan says..

John, open your mind to the experiences of adoptees who know more of life as adoptees than you do, or that your adopted children know at this point. Don’t shove your beliefs and opinions at us adoptees. Mind your own business, stay out of mine. I’m fighting for my rights to my records — you keep your mits off of my rights! Deal? Deal. I’m not butting in to your role as an adoptive father because I have two young adult children of my own. I’m not butting into the lives of natural parents, either. My rights to my records are no one’s business but my own. And yes, that means names of natural parents on birth certifcates, big deal. That is a government regulation— to register the birth of every citizen. Who ever gets named as parents on a birth record are true facts of reality that cannot be changed. Deal with it!

Gert says…

Demands made to ‘John’ or anyone… to open your mind to the experiences will just fall on deaf ears! What a fool! What she demands here is just what she REFUSES others! She shoves her beliefs and opinions on others, she doesn’t mind her own business and she sure as hell doesn’t keep her mits off others rights! She VIOLATED my parental rights and those of my minor children! Self-righteousness ran amoke!

half-orphan says..

You have your birth certificate and no one is telling you that you can’t have your birth certificate! But, rest assured, as the adoptive father of 5 boys, your name is on 5 fake birth certifcates! GREAAT! That’s 5 times fraud, dishonesty, intentional lying, theft of identity of your adopted boys who have squashed legal rights to their true birth certifcates. Shame on you and shame on the government that allows this fraud to continue!

Gert says…

Joan loves to shame people! Must have happened to her a lot in her childhood!

half-orphan says..

Adoptive parents: beware! You do not have the ethical right to put your names on a fake birth certificate. That’s a sin against nature, and your adoptive daughters and sons. The lies you hang onto will come back and bit you when your adoptees realize how they’ve been duped, duped like in a Bernie Madoff Ponzi Scheme: Made off with adopttees’ identity.

Gert says…

Warning! Warning! Danger! Danger! Joan Wheeler/Doris Sippel is after you!

She has no concept of her own sins and how they ARE biting her as she wrote this and since she wrote that libelous book! She hasn’t learnt a thing. Whats a ‘ponzi scheme’ have to do with adoption and birth certificates?

update information

I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler (Doris Michol Sippel) says about me and family. The first book Forbidden Family, A Half Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism‘ was published in 2009 but then was pulled from publication by the publisher in May 2011, for libelous material within the book. Then in 2015, she ‘self-published’ a ‘revised’ version calling it ‘Forbidden Family, an adoptee duped by adoption’. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor! Then in 2016 Joan changed her name back to her birth name and rewrote and republished the SAME crap in another book; a Third edition! CALLED ‘Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity’! Talk about conning people!

https://gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/   this blog is titled Reclaiming the Sippel-Herr Family Honor

https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/

this blog’s title/sub title is… DUPED BY ADOPTION & AN WOMAN’S STRUGGLE FOR IDENTITY, A BOOK STUDY an in-depth analyzes of the books called Forbidden Family; My Life as an Adoptee Duped by adoption & An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity by Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel.

also see this Facebook page…

https://www.facebook.com/dupedbyadoptionStruggleforIdentity1/

do check us out 

end

Joan M Wheeler DECLARES that she is mentally ill!

revisiting this post…cause it’s so GOOD.

And the reason is ADOPTION! I kid you not! see end of post for update info Now, who in their right mind would declare such a thing as they are mentally ill? Obviously she is NOT in her right mind! …

Source: Joan M Wheeler DECLARES that she is mentally ill!

eight signs of narcissistic behaviors; Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel has them

learn these traits, think about them when you read anything that she writes, it will save you a lot of grief

Source: eight signs of narcissistic behaviors; Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel has them

Dangerous combination for #adoptees when Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel believes her own BS as she slanders/libels others! (2 of 6)

Great damage happens to other people when a person, who is angry and hateful, continues to repeat half-truths and build upon them by creating more and more lies of tension to make a story MORE dramatic. Joan is a person who LOVES to tell about her pain and anguish. As she does this, the truth vanishes as HER view and feelings takes over. The book, Forbidden Family, has been pulled from publication by the publisher, due to libelous content and breach of contract, May 2011 and yet she continues on with two self-published versions. Read on!

BUT before we go any further I want to share

I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler (Doris Michol Sippel) says about me and family. The first book Forbidden Family, A Half Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism‘ was published in 2009 but then was pulled from publication by the publisher in May 2011, for libelous material within the book. Then in 2015, she ‘self-published’ a ‘revised’ version calling it ‘Forbidden Family, an adoptee duped by adoption’. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor! Then in 2016 Joan changed her name back to her birth name and rewrote and republished the SAME crap in another book; a Third edition! CALLED ‘Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity’! Talk about conning people!

https://gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/   this blog is titled Reclaiming the Sippel-Herr Family Honor

https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/

this blog’s title/sub title is… DUPED BY ADOPTION & AN WOMAN’S STRUGGLE FOR IDENTITY, A BOOK STUDY an in-depth analyzes of the books called Forbidden Family; My Life as an Adoptee Duped by adoption & An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity by Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel.

also see this Facebook page…

https://www.facebook.com/dupedbyadoptionStruggleforIdentity1/

In addition…see the ‘discussion’ forums, on Amazon, for two of the books. The first book has one review and several comments related.

Forbidden Family: My Life as an Adoptee Duped by Adoption forum

https://www.amazon.com/Forbidden-Family-Adoptee-Duped-Adoption/forum/Fx16ZHWP5PQHHCK/-/1/ref=cm_cd_fp_rvt?_encoding=UTF8&asin=B00X520CGW

Joan Mary Wheeler forum 

https://www.amazon.com/gp/forum/cd/forum.html/ref=cm_cd_rvt?ie=UTF8&cdForum=Fx3T0YAD0KXNPP5

review of first book and 4 comments

https://www.amazon.com/Forbidden-Family-Joan-M-Wheeler/dp/1412061547

do check us out and now to continue…

here is the link to part one and three of this series of six

https://gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/2017/02/01/browbeating-and-insults-abound-as-joan-m-wheelerdoris-m-sippel-is-unable-to-control-herself-1-of-6/

https://gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/2017/03/04/dont-take-that-bone-of-contention-away-from-mad-dog-joan-m-wheelerdoris-m-sippel-3-of-6/

Here we shall see two comments by Joan Wheeler (half-orphan) from 2009 BEFORE that libelous book was published. Within these two comments we FIND some ‘core-kernels’ of what she BELIEVES and how she fabricates stories ABOUT members of both the adoptive and birth family, to fit into HER vision of the truth. Much from these comments made it into the final manuscript and was published Nov 2009. This shows how early on and how often she had slander the birth family, creating an image of us to FIT into her story line. We, of the birth family, didn’t find out about any of this, or the book, until December 2009!

My comments will appear after each paragraph of Joan’s comment. These comments come from this web site… http://ouradopt.com/adoption-blog/jan-2009/lisas/ready-set-sign

Unfortunately this site is no longer available

Today’s Lesson on Lifetime Adoption is: Caring for the Elderly

Submitted by half-orphan on Tue, 01/06/2009 – 15:49.

Joan says…John, you must realize that my adoptive parents were the only parents I conciously knew for the first 18 years of my life. The first five years were untold of adoption. Somewhere between 5, 7, 9 or ten, I was told three different stories of why I was adopted. And yes, it was a shock to hear that another woman gave birth to me. The disclosure was done in a cold way, not at all in a loving way. I was left alone to think about it. It left me feeling sad and alone.

Gert says…ok sure I can understand this…parents are flawed people, we are only human. Joan is NOT the only person who had cold parents who may have lied to her! Joan herself was a cold cruel parent to her children…and she wrote slander/libel about her own children! By continuing to expose the flaws of the people who adopted her she violates their privacy as well, painting them the way Joan wants, which most likely is NOT a true picture.

Joan says…A child grows up loving and interacting with the family that raises that child. Love, affection good times, and sorow happened. Many relatives died, funerals, weddings, and graduations and gatherings…church, school, all normal. That does not get whiped out of existance just because of a reunion.

Gert says…again, I get it! same thing from our, the birth family’s view. Upon reunion, everyone in the birth family ’embraced’ Joan, only to be betrayed by her over and over again and then in a fucking book!

Joan says…My adoptive mother is nearing her 94rd birthday. She cannot be left alone as she cannot walk very well. She is dying of a blood cancer, a form of leukemia. She has other medical issues as well. I am her only daughter, so I am her health care proxy. Mom’s only sister is far more sick than Mom is. And her brothers died many years ago. Just a handfull of relatives coem by to help once in a while, but mostly, it is me taking Mom to hospitals.

Gert says…Her adoptive mother died March 2011, our father died January 2011. And that libelous book, Forbidden Family, died May 2011 when it was proven libelous!

Joan says…My natural father had open heart surgery just before Christmas 2003. He recovered, but needs medical care. His 3rd wife, my stepmother, had a stroke a few years ago. For several years, I shared taking care of them with my two step sisters. But within this past year, I had to bow out. Since Dad has other adult children, he has others to help, including my full blood sisters and half brother. But they are not much help, my step sisters do most of the work. I did, too, but now I have to give more to take care of my Mother.

Gert says…Here we SEE Joan’s TRUTH which is a bunch of misrepresentations and lies! Joan NEVER shared taking care of my father and step-mother. All Joan DID was take them to SOME doctor appointments and shopping (where she tried to con them into paying for items Joan wanted but had no money to pay for, by placing them in the cart unknown to the person paying the bill).

Joan did NOT bow out! Dad KICKED HER OUT because Joan wanted my father to PAY for her car repairs, she got nasty and argumentative to Dad and he said ‘he doesn’t need her help’. Joan was still WRITING the book when she wrote this comment…and in the book she has YET another version of the TRUTH of this ‘bowing out’.

What Joan says here IMPLIES lack of care from other siblings. Each sibling either has work obligations or lives far away. Joan DOES NOT work and lived near by and she volunteered to take them to appointments! If you volunteer you has no right to complain!

What Joan doesn’t say…which is a truth she DOESN’T WANT TO ACKNOWLEDGE…is that the step-sister, whom our dad ADOPTED, has the power of attorney and health care proxy and it was she and her sister, that LIVED near my father and his wife, whom made the decisions to TAKE CARE OF THEM. Joan does not know about any contacts I, or other siblings, have had with my father. Joan makes statements, implying, without having any real knowledge of what others are doing and saying.

Joan says…And when my father went in for his surgery, my adoptive Mom was very concerned. She prayed for him and his recovery. We went to visit him. And my step sister helped me learn how to test Mom’s blood when she needed blood sugar tests for a period of time.

Gert says…again what Joan NEGLECTS to say here (which makes things APPEAR as Joan wants them to appear) is that that ‘step-sister’ was also an ADOPTEE, adopted by our father and his wife. Our father placed into ADOPTION one daughter (Joan) because at the time there were no other options and years later he ADOPTS another child! Strange how life works! And this ADOPTIVE sister is a RN obviously qualified to take care of her mother and adoptive father as well as give Joan some info!

Joan says…So, you see, John, while I do have anger and resentment at the way my adoptive parents handled disclosing or not disclosing the truth to me, and at the way I was treated for the past 35 years of reunion and as an activist, I can still be compassionate toward my adoptive mother.

Gert says…another thing that Joan NEGLECTS to state is that it is BECAUSE of the ADOPTIVE mother that Joan has a place to LIVE…today. Joan moved in with the adoptive mother while her children were still MINORS and still lives there, long after the woman has died!

Joan says…I am hateful and bitter at society’s myths and taboos about adoption and all that was put upon me by otehrs. Had I been left alone to deal with my reunion between myself, my siblings, and my two sets of parents, the reunion would have been much smoother.

Gert says… For Joan to continue her bitterness and hatred, against a society’s ‘being’, she keeps herself locked in place unable to move away from her hate, anger and bitterness. Her refusal to accept the way things are done…or her lack of going to the proper channels (lawmakers), is at the root of all her illnesses. Her only outlets, in life, are these comments that she writes, year after year, blog post after blog post. She has no other life except fighting adoption!

I don’t understand what she means…if she was left alone to deal with her reunion. Oh that’s right, her extended adoptive family gave her MUCH grief and troubles, that Joan turned into lies and misrepresentations saying that she was RECEIVING it from the birth siblings!

Joan says…None of this should have happened the way it did.

Gert says…Well that’s just life…it happens the way it happens.

Today’s adoption lesson is on …

Submitted by half-orphan on Tue, 01/06/2009 – 02:10.

the topic of the devastating effects of separating siblings!

Gert says…Joan seems to have a ‘backstory’ that she created about our ‘separation’. This backstory, of Joan’s, is influenced by the many books Joan reads about separation. Joan doesn’t want to accept the fact that we, siblings, were NOT damaged by her adoption and separation. We WERE damaged by the unfortunate SECOND MARRIAGE of our father. And, if Joan STAYED within the family and NOT BEEN ADOPTED, she would have had the same kind of separation we all had. It’s NOT about Joan! But she’ll make about her!

The problem with Joan’s backstory is, is that it’s all false. Joan refuses to accept the truth…which in a nutshell is…

After Mom gave birth, in hospital bed, to her last child (Joan), it was discovered that she was dying of uterine cancer. Our father proposed marriage to another woman; he would be father to her 2 children and she would be mother to his 5 children. Woman agreed but REFUSED the infant (Joan). Some in our mother’s family wanted to adopt her, but our father said, if he could not raised her NO ONE in the family would. And to place that infant into adoption our father had to MAKE HER DEAD LIKE HIS WIFE AND THE INFANT’S MOTHER. He was not pressured into it by church or others, as Joan continues to state he was.

Everything Joan reads in a book, on adoption, she makes her back story fit so she can continue to exploit and malign the birth family.

Joan says…This is for John, and other adoptive parents who need a wake-up call. No baby, no child comes to you “a blank slate.” Each baby is born with memories of mother’s womb… her heartbeat, her voice, and birth brings smells, tastes, sounds, and sight. A baby knows…from inside, a baby can hear voices that are around. Father, siblings, other people. Music. When that baby is taken away, the resulting trauma is deep, and causes lifelong pain.

Gert says…This is another nasty tactic of Joan’s…browbeating and insulting people. ‘Adoptive parents who need a wake-up call’…that is what hate and anger does to a person, makes them go after others who do not think the same…she makes everyone an enemy. She did it to me, my 2nd husband and my minor children when I ADOPTED. She didn’t like my answer to her…butt out…and so she called 2 false child abuse reports against me.

Sure, I can accept that there is trauma and I’m sure others can as well, but, that’s no reason to proclaim that ALL ADOPTIONS MUST BE STOPPED.

Joan says…For me, not only did I feel that loss, but my siblings did, too. Their ages were 9, 8, 6, and 3 when I was born and when Mom died. Those kids were helpless! In our separate ways, we’ve dealt with it all…one even ran away in her early 20s to another country! One sister got pregnant at age 17 to leave home, another was so emotionally distraught that she was hospitalized for several months. Our older brother ran off to join the military. We each did our time with drugs, drink, carelessness…And they held onto the thought that one day, they would find me.

Gert says…NOW here we have some real examples of libel and slander. Joan knows not what she says here. These statements are pure her ‘view and perception’ which are false, slanderous and libel. Okay, yes, upon the DEATH of a mother, each child would feel the separation and loss…but…Joan KNOWS NOT WHAT EACH OF US WENT THROUGH. Joan’s pronouncements of OUR LIVES IS PURE FABRICATIONS, LIES, SLANDER AND LIBEL. Our lives have NOTHING to do with Joan’s adoption! Our lives were NOT AFFECTED by the adoption/loss of Joan from us.

How dare she say, in print, here and in that book, that we were HELPLESS…NO we were NOT! We had a father and extended family until 1958 when father’s second marriage fall apart. That first step-mother had to be hospitalized for mental illness and at that time we were placed into foster and orphan homes! If Joan was with us she TOO would have been placed with us!

Joan’s lies and fabricates WHAT HAPPENED TO US, creating slander and libel. Joan makes everything into a drama! One sibling did NOT ran-away to another country! That was planned and worked at for years by CHOICE by a ‘legal aged’ adult. There also was no sibling who was ‘so emotionally distraught that she was hospitalized’ that is pure make-believe on Joan’s part! I was the one who got MARRIED by CHOICE. I was 18 (legal age) and a high school graduate. I wasn’t running away from home; I was creating a home of my own! Our brother did what many did during the Vietnam War Era! He joined the Marine Corp right after high school, like thousands, before he was DRAFTED; again he was NOT running away from home, but serving his country. My husband didn’t go into the military, he was exempt because we had children.

These fabricated and half truths that Joan continues to speak is WHY the birth family EXPOSES her, her words and deeds, and we shall continue to do so. How DARE she say this…’We each did our time with drugs, drink, carelessness…’ She has NO RIGHT to imply that her siblings did drugs, drink and were careless! OUR LIVES ARE NOT UP FOR HER visions and exploitations. That is slander and libel!

Yes, we DID hold to the ‘thought that one day, they would find me’ but when we did we had NO IDEA what a monster she (Joan) was. Everyone in the birth family regrets EVER CONTACTING HER and having HER IN OUR LIVES.

Joan says…But the reunion didn’t make for fun and joy. Because all that sorrow spilled out into anger. They were mad at me for living and Mom dying. They were jealous that I had two parents and they did not. Oh, the relationships did’t start falling apart for several years, but, my stress, I was the one in the middle…crying all the time, deep depression, fear, and I was the baby. It was clear that I didn’t fit in because they grew up together and I was not with them. They grew to dislike me because I became an adoption activist. The more I wrote in the newpsaper, the more my relatives from both families complained that I should keep my mouth shut. Why? I’m not illegtimate so there’s not SHAME. They can have their family crests, but I can’t have mine.

Gert says…’fun and joy’ hardy, with Joan around there never is any fun and joy! And where does she get this ‘sorrow spilling out’? Just because she is miserable doesn’t mean everyone around her is. Mad at her because mom died and Joan lived!? She sure is full of her self-importance! She had two parents and we did not? We had parents and step-parent and grandparents and other extended family…as SHE did with her adoptive family. None of us were ever jealous of Joan, we RAN AWAY FROM HER.

My own relationship with Joan ended in 1981 when SHE violated my parental rights with my minor children and interferred in my marriage! I had NO CONTACT with her from 1982 to 1992 because of that! At a brief gathering of family in 1992 to the publication of that libelous book of hers, in 2009, I’ve had ONLY 3 OR 4 MINOR CONTACTS with her, that ended up in YET more troubles from her. I couldn’t care in the least that she’s an adoption activist! But I do care about the lies she tells about the birth family!

It’s Joan’s own frustrations that ‘come out’ of her mouth/pen that she assigns to others, but she is wrong when she asserts that we have said those things.

Joan says…I explained my feelings recently to an elderly woman: It’s like being bi-racial: neither side wants you. And she said, “I know. I’m half Asian and half white, no one wants me, either.”

Gert says… ‘neither side wants you’…well when a person acts like Joan does what’s a person suppose to do? Everyone in the birth family gave Joan ample time to come to terms with each of us! It was and still is ONLY Joan who continues to insult family.

end

Doris Michol Sippel aka Joan Mary Wheeler just CAN’T keep her mouth shut about me. She gets shot down on Huffington Post, and brings me into it – even tho I was OUT of it (Jan, 2017).

I have meaning to put up this blog post for a month now. But life keeps getting in the way. Wierd how that works. lol. This is about Joan/Doris browbeating people, as usual, who have a different vi…

Source: Doris Michol Sippel aka Joan Mary Wheeler just CAN’T keep her mouth shut about me. She gets shot down on Huffington Post, and brings me into it – even tho I was OUT of it (Jan, 2017).

Doris Michol Sippel aka Joan Mary Wheeler just CAN’T keep her mouth shut about me. She gets shot down on Huffington Post, and brings me into it – even tho I was OUT of it (Jan, 2017).

I have meaning to put up this blog post for a month now. But life keeps getting in the way. Wierd how that works. lol. This is about Joan/Doris browbeating people, as usual, who have a different vi…

Source: Doris Michol Sippel aka Joan Mary Wheeler just CAN’T keep her mouth shut about me. She gets shot down on Huffington Post, and brings me into it – even tho I was OUT of it (Jan, 2017).

An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity by Fred Tomasello Jr Review #4 on Doris M Sippel’s replay/act 3 of her ‘memoir’!

It’s amazing how some people believe in their own self-importance! An exchange on FB… Fred Tomasello Jr. January 10 at 4:25pm · We just saw “Lion.” Doris Michol Sippel, this movie…

Source: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity by Fred Tomasello Jr Review #4 on Doris M Sippel’s replay/act 3 of her ‘memoir’!

Adopted Child Syndrome – a way out for 50 year old brats? #flipthescript

a person can find any number of ‘illnesses’ to explain their BS behaviors This particular blog post gets FREQUENT views…must mean that there is a lot of interest in the topic̷…

Source: Adopted Child Syndrome – a way out for 50 year old brats? #flipthescript

Browbeating and insults abound as Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel is unable to ‘control’ herself! (1 of 6)

Again, we see the great ‘educator for adoption reform’ use her superb talents to win converts…NOT!

Would you stand still (figuratively and physically) and allow Joan/Doris to speak to you in the way she does here? Of course not!

She only gets away with it, sometimes, because of the impersonal nature of the ‘internet’ format. She is far more cowardly, via the phone and in person, where she flees away when another refuses to take her BS! She’s like a viper! Strike and slither away!

BUT before we go any further I want to share

I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler (Doris Michol Sippel) says about me and family. The first book Forbidden Family, A Half Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism‘ was published in 2009 but then was pulled from publication by the publisher in May 2011, for libelous material within the book. Then in 2015, she ‘self-published’ a ‘revised’ version calling it ‘Forbidden Family, an adoptee duped by adoption’. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor! Then in 2016 Joan changed her name back to her birth name and rewrote and republished the SAME crap in another book; a Third edition! CALLED ‘Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity’! Talk about conning people!

https://gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/   this blog is titled Reclaiming the Sippel-Herr Family Honor

https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/

this blog’s title/sub title is… DUPED BY ADOPTION & AN WOMAN’S STRUGGLE FOR IDENTITY, A BOOK STUDY an in-depth analyzes of the books called Forbidden Family; My Life as an Adoptee Duped by adoption & An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity by Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel.

also see this Facebook page…

https://www.facebook.com/dupedbyadoptionStruggleforIdentity1/

In addition…see the ‘discussion’ forums, on Amazon, for two of the books. The first book has one review and several comments related.

Forbidden Family: My Life as an Adoptee Duped by Adoption forum

https://www.amazon.com/Forbidden-Family-Adoptee-Duped-Adoption/forum/Fx16ZHWP5PQHHCK/-/1/ref=cm_cd_fp_rvt?_encoding=UTF8&asin=B00X520CGW

Joan Mary Wheeler forum 

https://www.amazon.com/gp/forum/cd/forum.html/ref=cm_cd_rvt?ie=UTF8&cdForum=Fx3T0YAD0KXNPP5

review of first book and 4 comments

https://www.amazon.com/Forbidden-Family-Joan-M-Wheeler/dp/1412061547

do check us out and now to continue…

Anyone can see how ‘angry’ Joan Wheeler was in 2009 by the comments she left on various web sites and in print, that year. Over a life-time she has transferred her anger onto the printed page, for her ‘life’s work’. Just before she finished Forbidden Family she wrote a very long, disjointed, perverse and hateful chapter, between April and July 2009, then submitted the entire hate manifesto for publication. Much of her attitude, perversity and more, in the following comment, on the internet, made it into the book. That book was proven to be libelous and was pulled from publication by the publisher, Trafford Publications, in 2011. (see the links above for and about the 2nd book she wrote)

In the comment of Joan’s, that I am presenting, we see (feel) her righteous indignation of all things adopted! For sure I, and others, are NOT blind to some of the issues that are part of adoption reform and are needed in adoption reform! But, myself being a mother who adopted as well as a birth family member, and others of the birth family, we are appalled at the outrageous browbeating and contempt that Joan dishes out to people, all the while as she exploits our PARENTS. That is why we speak out on anything, anywhere, that Joan Wheeler has published.

Before and after the publication of that libelous book the family has SUFFERED greatly from the words and deeds of a clearly mentally ill person! Any one who professes, as Joan does, to be a public advocate, and who states she is a ‘social worker’ (on paper only) their previous words and deeds are ALWAYS subject to scrutiny. Everywhere she’s been on the wide world of the Internet carries her words of hate. This is why I continue to address them, as I find them.

This blot post comes from the following site, but UNFORTUNATELY is no longer available to view

http://ouradopt.com/adoption-blog/jan-2009/lisas/ready-set-sign

This is the first of six blog posts that document the ranting and ravings of Joan on just one web site directed at just one person.

The following browbeating session was before she ‘finished’ writing that libelous book, Forbidden Family. It is obvious that she is consumed by her anger and hate, which of course she put forth in that book. She can not separate herself from her hate and anger; it consumes her. The book was pulled from publication, by the publisher, May 2011.

I have pulled out certain statements of Joan’s (half-orphan) for my own comments; the entirely will follow after my comments.

Submitted by half-orphan on Mon, 01/05/2009 – 01:16.

Joan said… This is my first time in here. Geshh, John! I don’t know where to begin!

Gert’s comment…oh sure she DOES, know where to begin! She searches out for anyone who is pro-adoption in any shape, form or manner. She searches all over the internet, then in 2009, as she did in 2008 and as she does in 2015! She’ll continue to do so the rest of her life! What a waste!

Joan said… Because I really don’t know you, and can only know by the little I’ve read, here’s my take on you and why you have these one-sided views:

Gert’s comment…she doesn’t know the guy but KNOWS he has ‘one-sided views’ and she is going to TELL him all about it! Ego-manic that she is. This is HOW she thinks, and writes, she KNOWS all about the other person…that is why she is so dangerous! She can’t possible KNOW what’s in the mind of another, nor their motives, BUT she writes as if she’s inside the other…that’s called slander and libel and misrepresentation and fantasy.

Joan said…You might be on the defensive because you are in their control now. I’m not really sure what is driving an adoptive parent to defend a natural parent’s perceived right to privacy or confidentiality.

Gert’s comment…’control’? Joan believes that adoptive parents are ‘in control’; apparently her’s were! Most parents are in ‘control’ of their children since it usually takes 20 years, give or take a few years, for a human being to be mature and ‘in control’ of themselves! Of course she can’t ‘understand’ why this adoptive parent is defending a natural parent because she can ONLY understand what HER adoptive parents did or did not do. And being the ‘all wise knowing’ entity that she is…she has already condemned this guy.

Joan said… I speak from 35 years of experience living in a reunion

Gert’s comment…here Joan’s misspeaks and misrepresents the ‘reunion’. Reunion with natural family (knowing them) and ‘living in reunion’ are two very different things! Within 5 years she betrayed me and I kicked her out of my life. Over the years, as each and every birth family member had been betrayed by her, they LEFT her. This includes our father, who finally had ENOUGH of her abuse in 2009, and kicked her out of his home and life! That episode happened mid-2009 and of course Joan wrote about it, from her point of view, and put it in the libelous book! So Joan again, has NO EXPERIENCE.

Joan said…Our father let me go into adoption because: a Catholic preiest suggested that would be best

Gert’s comment…totally WRONG! Sure he would have asked for advise but ultimately our father had no other option but to place her into adoption; his 2nd wife refused to take the infant (Joan). This is a FACT that Joan refuses to accept. She has her ‘story’ and will not accept the truth.

Joan said… telephone reunion, my adoptive mother dumped all of my personal papers on the kitchen table. “You want your papers, here they are! They mean nothing to me any more!” That was the way my loving mother gave me

Gert’s comment…and this is why Joan is so against adoption, because of the negative behavior of the adoptive mother. Once Joan LEARNED about her birth family, she USED that against the adoptive parents, particularly the mother. As a child, Joan learned that same negative behavior, and then USED it on the mother, browbeating her over the issue of ‘you did not give birth to me’ and ‘you lied to me’ all the way to the woman’s death bed in 2011. So much for Joan’s love!

Joan said… I take it John, that you are a non-adoptee. If that is so, you cannot know what it feels like to have your personal, private information stolen from you! That is what adoption does, John!

Gert’s comment…Sure, a non-adoptee won’t. Joan has told her birth family members this all the time, that isn’t the issue! The issue is that Joan is anti-adoption and will do anything to prevent it, including, violating my parental rights with my minor children when I and 2nd husband ADOPTED and violating the rights of others to do what they want in their lifes.

Joan said… that all adoptees would benefit from being adopted with a new name, a new identity, free and clear from the sins of their parents.

Gert’s comment…what the f… ! Well the ‘reunited’ birth family knows, all too well, that Joan’s mind has been in the gutter for sometime! What she does, in these rants of hers, is to ‘shock and awe’ people with these ‘throw out statements’. ‘Sins of their parents’! Sure okay perhaps that ‘was’ the attitude decades ago, but it isn’t anymore…so why does she continue to browbeat people with outdated crap? She could state her position in a more positive manner, but no! This is one reason why she is so ineffective, she never gives any positive feedback or hope.

Joan said… Well, guess what? I’m not an illegitmate bastard, I am a half orphan! There are no special secrets, no shame, no slutty mother, no dirtty old man father, no drug user, no abuser, no neglectful parents: just a 30 year old dead mother, a grieving 31 year old father, and four screaming kids under the age of 9.

Gert’s comment…There are many different types of adoption, but that doesn’t interest her. Joan wants to eliminate adoption. Joan wants to/likes to play the ‘slutty’ angle. Wow! look at her go! slutty, dirty old man, drug user, abuser, neglectful parents and let’s not forget the adjective for those kids…’screaming’! She sure likes to paint a picture! Truth? She’s talking about her OWN children here, not the children that were left after their mother died. How do I know? Because I’m one of them, the oldest, and I can tell you because I WAS THERE, we HAD grandparents and aunts and uncles. We were NOT allowed to scream and carrying on. There was NO back talking with the parent, period. In Joan’s upbringing, she yelled at her adoptive parents! It was witnessed by Ruth how Joan argued with the mother at the sick bed of the father in the hospital! Joan yelled and screamed at her children all the time. Joan wrote about that in the book! This is how Joan sees the world of parents and children.

Joan said… BUt his older chidren wanted their baby sister! And they found me!

Gert’s comment…finding Joan was the worst thing we siblings ever did…together! How were we to know what a monster she was and is? We were so idealistic! How wonderful it was to be able to have our sister back! Shared genes mean NOTHING. She was raised with anger and hate and she can not relate to any one in any circumstance withOUT her hate and anger. She went after each and every birth family member, including the FATHER. She ‘claims’ that she wanted/wished to stay with the birthfamily and not be adopted! Fool that she is, her life, if she remained with us, would be one filled with difficulties, orphan and foster homes, decades of never belonging to a ‘family unit’. She’s an idiot!

Joan said… You may not agree and you don’t have to, those are your feelings Feelings are different from CIVIL RIGHTS. I have every right to my birth certificate — the one that states the facts of my birth. PERIOD.

Gert’s comment…if feelings are different from ‘civil rights’…why does she write with all her FEELINGS. Why doesn’t she BITCH at the law makers! Does she really think that this person she is yelling at is going to do her bidding?

Joan said… If you had nothing to do with the conception and birth of a child, then your name does not belong on a falsified birth certificate, John!

Gert’s comment…So it MUST be John’s fault that the AUTHORITIES put the wrong name on the birth certificate! Why does she have to argue with a person she DOESN’T know? Because she’s an idiot!

Joan said… I will fight to my dying breath for all adoptees to have the rights

Gert’s comment…heard this many many times. What a waste of a human life. This type of statement only shows her total dedication to herself and her pain. She can’t accept her life and adoption. She is a self-made martyr.

Joan said… Adoptive parents came to be parents by adoption, not birth. Tell the truth, John!

Gert’s comment…She does not know this guy, John, yet she treats him like a child. Here she is in her ‘big girl/mother’ role! She wants others to ‘tell the truth’, yet, she never does!

Joan said… And, to answer to your cutsi “me, me, me” attitude of adoptees: it is our birth records, our property, and our birthrights. STAY OUT OF OTHER PEOPLE’S PERSONAL BUSINESS!

Gert’s comment…yep you can tell that she’s got her red angry face on! Her fists are tight as she screams at a person she DOES NOT know! How dare any one critize her! Joan has never ‘stayed out of other people’s personal business’! That whole book was about OTHER people and their personal business…that’s why it’s libeous!

Joan said… Parents do not have the right to scream, “me, Me, Me” just because they think they can hide from their own child!

Gert’s comment…What? This is how Joan and her adoptive mother interacted together…each one DEMANDING they be in the right and the other to shut up.

Joan said… Go read some adoption psychology books. Look at the damage done to adoptees by closed, sealed adoption.

Gert’s comment…Joan’s stock answer for anyone who doesn’t believe her…go read books on adoption! Books may give insights and information BUT they will not stop people from adopting! Joan wants to rid the world of adoption and she say and do anything until her dying breath! When will that be?

And now Joan’s comment in full…

This is my first time in here. Geshh, John! I don’t know where to begin! So, because you are the adoptive father of 5 boys out of foster care, who suffered abuse and neglect, you think you have the right to defend their natural mothers? To protect their privacy? Because I really don’t know you, and can only know by the little I’ve read, here’s my take on you and why you have these one-sided views:

You think that the birthmothers, and fathers perhaps, may not be the best parents in the world and you don’t want them back in your adoptive sons’ lives. You might be on the defensive because you are in their control now. I’m not really sure what is driving an adoptive parent to defend a natural parent’s perceived right to privacy or confidentiality.

I speak from 35 years of experience living in a reunion. At the age of 18, I was found by a sister I never knew. My adoptive parents never wanted me to know anything about my birthfamily, but they did tell me I was adopted. So, when this phone call came in, I was thrown into shock. My eldest sister told me that I had four older siblings a several younger ones, too. I was the baby of the first five children born to married parents. Our mother died when I was three months old; in fact, she was dying while pregnant with me. Our father let me go into adoption because: a Catholic preiest suggested that would be best, and, my soon to be adoptive aunt, told her brother and his wife, that I was available. She knew my birthmother all of her life.

A few days after this telephone reunion, my adoptive mother dumped all of my personal papers on the kitchen table. “You want your papers, here they are! They mean nothing to me any more!” That was the way my loving mother gave me my Final Order of Adoption, my short form amended birth certificate, my short form birth registration in my birth name, and my true baptismal certificate and my falsified baptismal certificate.

The more I read about adoption reform, the more I realized something was, and is, wrong. First, a baby’s birth is registered. If that child is surrendered for adoption and the adoption is finalized, then the court sends a notice for a new, false, birth certiifcate to be made in the child’s new adoptive name, and the adoptive parents are named, along with where the birth took place: hospital name, was this a single birth ?, what time of day was child born?

I take it John, that you are a non-adoptee. If that is so, you cannot know what it feels like to have your personal, private information stolen from you! That is what adoption does, John! My birthname, my mother’s name, the length of her pregnancy, the time she gave birth to me, the number “4” typed in the box that asked “How many other chidlren born to this mother?”. My father’s name and our address. All of that information was stolen from me! It was sealed by the State of New York! Why? Because of the stupid law of 1930, that made up the stigma of illegitimcay should be hidden, that all adoptees should be able to start over with a clean slate, that all adoptees would benefit from being adopted with a new name, a new identity, free and clear from the sins of their parents.

Well, guess what? I’m not an illegitmate bastard, I am a half orphan! There are no special secrets, no shame, no slutty mother, no dirtty old man father, no drug user, no abuser, no neglectful parents: just a 30 year old dead mother, a grieving 31 year old father, and four screaming kids under the age of 9.

According to the United Nations, they will not release a child for adoption to the United States, untill they have proof that both parents are dead (a full orphan) or, that both parents sign relinquishment papers. So, while I had full blood siblings and a father living within Buffalo’s City limits, I was wisked away to a northern suburb about 5 to 7 miles away from my natural family. United Nations would not have approved of my adoption because I had a living parent.

When my father signed the consent for release of me, he was told by the judge to stay away from my adoptive parents. He was told he could come to look for me in 18 years. He was never given a confidentiality contract to sign, nor was he verbally told this adoption was confidential. He abided by the law and stayed away. BUt his older chidren wanted their baby sister! And they found me!

You may not agree and you don’t have to, those are your feelings. Feelings are different from CIVIL RIGHTS. I have every right to my birth certificate — the one that states the facts of my birth. PERIOD. No one should have the right to falsify anyone’s birth and that is why amended birth certificates are immoral, unethical, and will be illegal someday. The government is wrong to come up with this scam, fraud against adoptees.

If you had nothing to do with the conception and birth of a child, then your name does not belong on a falsified birth certificate, John!

I will fight to my dying breath for all adoptees to have the rights to: their original brith certificates retroactively, and, the right to an adoption certificate instead of a false birth certifcate. Adoptive parents came to be parents by adoption, not birth. Tell the truth, John!

If your sons do not want a reunion with their natural parents, that will be their own decisions. If their natural parents contact your adopted sons after they become of legal age, guess what, you have no say in what takes place. Relationships can and do develope. And if your sons want certified copies of their birth certificates, that is their right, not your right to demand NO, and it is no one else’s right — not even a birth mother — to prevent the very child she gave birth to — to have her wishes to remain annoymous rule over her offsring.

And, to answer to your cutsi “me, me, me” attitude of adoptees: it is our birth records, our property, and our birthrights. STAY OUT OF OTHER PEOPLE’S PERSONAL BUSINESS! All parents have responsibility to their children. Parents do not have the right to scream, “me, Me, Me” just because they think they can hide from their own child! Anyone who does not want a relationship, does not have to participate.

Go read some adoption psychology books. Look at the damage done to adoptees by closed, sealed adoption.

Joan Wheeler who was born Doris Sippel

link to #2 of 6

https://gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/2017/02/23/dangerous-combination-for-adoptees-when-joan-m-wheelerdoris-m-sippel-believes-her-own-bs-as-she-slanderslibels-others-2-of-6/

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