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Reclaiming our Family Honor!

Reclaiming and regaining our family honor…that was stolen from us!

Taking back what Joan M Wheeler stole from our family!

ॐ शान्तिः शान्तिः शान्तिः ॐ
om shanti shanti shanti om



Just passed a milestone on this blog…

Congratulations on writing 500 posts on Reclaiming the Sippel-Herr Family Honor!

So if the ‘subject’ of this blog can write three lying books…I can cover MORE with the TRUTH than she can with her lies! And I shall continue on!


I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler (Doris Michol Sippel) says about me and family. The first book ‘Forbidden Family, A Half Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism‘ was pulled from publication by the publisher in May 2011. Then in 2015, she ‘self-published’ a ‘revised’ version calling it ‘Forbidden Family, an adoptee duped by adoption’. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor! Then in 2016 Joan changed her name back to her birth name and rewrote and republished the SAME crap in another book; a Third edition! CALLED ‘Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity’! Talk about conning people!

this blog’s title/sub title is… DUPED BY ADOPTION & AN WOMAN’S STRUGGLE FOR IDENTITY, A BOOK STUDY an in-depth analyzes of the books called Forbidden Family; My Life as an Adoptee Duped by adoption & An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity by Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel.

UPDATE Sept 2015 my new blog…

Duped by adoption, a book study An in-depth analyzes of the book Forbidden Family My Life as an Adoptee Duped by Adoption.

and a new Facebook page


UPDATE July 2015 added an LinkedIn account with a post

UPDATE March 2015 this post sums up the TRUE story of our family versus the ‘point of view’ of Joan Wheeler.

Update November 2014

The purpose of this blog is about exposing all the wrongs that Joan Wheeler has done to me and my family and telling the truth of myself and my family.

It would be wise to look at the ABOUT page to get updates that I have removed from this front page. It bears repeating…the sole purpose of this blog is about the behavior of Joan Wheeler.

Our commentary and reporting is our business.

The lying, hate filled book, called Forbidden Family, by Joan Wheeler is now dead. We told the truth and the publisher pulled the book because of its libelous contents. Joan Wheeler refuses to remove all of her blogs with that title and her hate words towards us.

This blog is to help reclaim OUR Family away from Joan Wheeler…she is the Forbidden One…she was NOT conceived in 1954, when this family picture was taken and can not claim this picture. She was adopted out of the family and when ‘reunited’ turned her hate and anger against us.

Yep, the worst thing Joan Wheeler ever did was to publish that lying book. Now she will have to live with that dead book tied around her neck until we set everything in it straight and right and it starts to stink and rot OR she decides to make it right and remove ALL references to Forbidden Family on her two web sites and apology to us siblings and our parents!
Warning…the contents of this blog are not suitable for young impressible minds or for people who believe everything Joan Wheeler has said or written. Believe her at your own risk! She is a user of people!
see joint post of Gert and Ruth
update of February 2014…Joan has still NOT answered any of our charges against her…in fact when asked directly she runs and hides away, or screams that we are harassing her…so we shall continue on until she answers to the dirty deeds and words she has said and deeds she has done. Joan still has NOT removed her hate blogs against us or gotten her friends to get rid of theirs, so we shall just carry on. Everything Joan and her friends have done to the birth family are part of the historical record.

HI there! I had the unfortunate experience of reading Joan Wheeler’s book (it was free on Kindle and in my interest area). I’m adopted, and have recently extricated myself from a disastrous reunion forced on me by my birth family. All that said…Joan Wheeler is a self-pitying narcissist. I feel bad for you and your family. You reached out to her in what seems to be hope and love only to have the door repeatedly slammed on your hand…then she blames you for ruining her door jam! Her writing in this book is wheedling and ‘oh they don’t make me the center of my universe so I’ll make them!’ in tone. You and your family are in my prayers that she either wises up or just stops out of boredom.


  • Jan 3, 2016…I’m replying to the about comment of same date

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us who are named in that latest garbage book of Joan M Wheeler. Glad to know that you didn’t have to pay $$ for it! I did pay for the Kindle but for the printed edition, with discounts, I paid .76 cents…yes seventy-six cents! This book, just like the first one, will never be any kind of ‘best-seller’ for she is speaking to a very small ‘crowd’ that think like herself. There are many out there, like yourself who ‘see’ behind what she writes.

    I’m glad that you KNOW about narcissistic behaviors for they can cause tremendous difficulties for anyone who gets ‘close’ to them. I’d encourage everyone to learn more about those types of behaviors for self-protection. Unfortunately, Joan will never ‘wise up’ nor ‘stop’ for any reason, because she is a narcissistic that NEEDS constant attention and she hates adoption.

    Sorry to hear that you have had a ‘disastrous reunion’; reunions are NOT easy for anyone and when they go horribly wrong, no one wins. Keep in mind that generally all families can be ‘messy’, doesn’t matter whether one is adopted or not, and if you can maintain proper boundaries, those messes won’t get too bad. Your life is your life, live it as you see fit to live it!

    Thank you for keeping us in your prayers, as we will you.

    I made a new blog post on my “REFUTING A BOOK OF LIES: FORBIDDEN FAMILY BY JOAN M. WHEELER by Joan M. Wheeler – exposing her lies”

2 of 2; Op-ed article, by Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel, gets insider attention from Gert McQueen! Part two of two.

duped by adoption & an woman's Struggle for Identity, a book study

There’s always another side of any story!

see part one here…

Behind the scenes comments of Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel

Here, in this part two post, you will find a series of PUBLIC comments from, two different PUBLIC Facebook accounts, where Joan/Doris shared a link about her Buffalo News article. She then asked her friends to comment, on the News article and to ‘educate the public’, for the News EDITED her piece and omitted keys points! She then had continued discussions, in a public forum, about the on-going (real time) placement of comments, on the News article, as well as telling falsehoods about me and family. So much for MY AND MY FAMILY’S PRIVACY! This is WHY I objected to and wrote my comments on the News article, in the first place, for Joan/Doris uses her position to exploit my family via her untruthful book!

I will be…

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1 of 2; Op-ed article, by Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel, gets insider attention from Gert McQueen! Part one of two

duped by adoption & an woman's Struggle for Identity, a book study

There’s always another side of any story!

DISCLAIMER…Whenever one writes a public article, on any Internet site, and/or comments on a public article, or writes a comment on a PUBLIC Facebook account that is plainly labeled as a PUBLIC post, there is NO EXPECTATION OF PRIVACY. That being said, the commentators on this, on-line Buffalo News story, have given their ‘right’ to privacy away and publishing their names here, on a public blog, is PART and PARCEL of the News story.

“Man did not weave the web of life, he is merely a strand in it. Whatever he does to the web, he does to himself.”

― Native American Proverb

People who live in glass houses should not throw stones, particularly Joan/Doris! Her past deeds and words will ALWAYS follow her, regardless whether or not any of her friends care to acknowledge that, MANY OTHERS read the same news…

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A new review, on the oldest edition, of Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel’s untruthful account of my family!

Source: A new review, on the oldest edition, of Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel’s untruthful account of my family!

Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel CONTINUES presenting her adoption status as something it is NOT and whiny about it!

She is NOT a ‘late discovery adoptee’ no matter how many times she attempts to say that she is! I have written about this before, here is just ONE, as a forum topic, for her lying book, on Amazon.

Joan/Doris obviously needs ATTENTION and a PLACE to air her thoughts, as they COME TO HER, when she’s in a depressed state of mind. When she’s depressed she searches around finding posts that she can relate to and then re-TELLS her sad, sad false story. In this case, she has commented and reblogged an old blog onto her own blog as if it were CURRENT! She must be running out of pro-adoption sites to browbeat and insult others!

Here we find that she is commenting, in July 2017, on a post from April 2015! Joan/Doris comments as ‘legitimatebastard’. My thoughts will appear afterwards.

legitimatebastard says:  July 4, 2017 at 7:00 pm

Reblogged this on FORBIDDEN FAMILY and commented:

Even though this was written for April Fools Day 2015, this is still an excellent blog from Elle Cuardaigh.

Back in 1974, when I answered a phone call from a woman I did not know, I was a high school senior. I was 18 years old. This woman said she was my sister.

I knew I was adopted, but I was never allowed to speak of my feelings or my questions. I buried it all deep inside. So when this woman said she was my sister, I knew immediately that she really was my sister.

And at the same time, I knew that all I had lived for those 18 years of my life, was not real. I felt like a fool. How many people knew? Why was I the last to know? I wasn’t the person I thought I was.

Imagine being a high school student with final exams and the prom and picking out a college and making life-altering decisions, well, I went through the motions of all of that, but I was in deep, psychological trauma.

My parents KNEW and chose not to tell me! How could I trust them again? And then there were the rest of my relatives who all knew…

So, for me, I am not the total unsuspecting person who finds out late in life that she or he is adopted. I knew that I was adopted. I knew there were unknowns about me that were somehow going to be revealed. But that did not soften the blow as to how I felt that day in 1974, and for years later, and even now.

The shock of finding out the truth, and not from the adoptive parents who ought to have had the guts and maturity to tell me themselves, is something that I never recovered from, Betrayal, lies, fear, mistrust, radical acceptance… yes, this is being A Late Discovery Adoptee.

End of her comment…

        Gert here again…

As I’m the sister who phone Joan/Doris I have every right to speak about this and anything else that this individual has to say about myself and my family.

Joan/Doris never tells the FULL STORY, even though she has been told it over and over and over again, by family! I was ‘elected’ by my three siblings to make the phone call, because I was the eldest. It was the decision of FOUR of us, not just me.

We all agreed NOT to tell our father. We all agreed to discuss the ‘contact’ with a lawyer and an adoption agency BEFORE we made that contact. Both lawyer and agency said that as siblings we were in our LEGAL right to make the contact with the adoptee AND we did NOT have to tell our parent. Again, it was the decision of FOUR siblings and we stand by our right to make that decision. We also learned, later, that it was the WORST MISTAKE of our lives; making contact with that adopted out sibling. She destroyed each and every relationship she had with EACH AND EVERY birth family member! But that’s another story.

Eighteen is the legal age of being an female adult; that’s the law, I didn’t make that up! Some are able to be an adult, at 18, others are not; not my problem. I was 18 when I finished high school and TOOK the responsibilities of my ACTIONS; I got married and had a baby! If Joan was UNABLE, to handle being contacted by her birth family, when she was 18, that is NOT the birth family’s problem. Joan was THINKING about searching, so she was READY for being contacted, crying and screaming ‘I was young’ later doesn’t cut it. Joan/Doris is just a whiny cry baby that never has grown up!

She states in this post that ‘I knew I was adopted’ that in its self means that she is NOT a late discovery adoptee! The MEANING of late discovery MEANS that the adoptee NEVER KNEW they were adopted during their CHILDHOOD. Joan/Doris KNEW she was adopted.

She continues to state…

‘So, for me, I am not the total unsuspecting person who finds out late in life that she or he is adopted. I knew that I was adopted.’

And YET SHE INSISTS THAT SHE IS (a late discovery adoptee)! Is she brain-dead? Answer is of course! She suffers from cognitive dissonance (believing two contrary things at the same time).

She is writing and proclaiming that she is a late discovery adoptee NOW because she NEEDS ATTENTION, she can’t stand NOT having her say in the world of adoption! She’s never content to live the life she has!

But to continue on…she states…

‘The shock of finding out the truth, and not from the adoptive parents who ought to have had the guts and maturity to tell me themselves, is something that I never recovered from, Betrayal, lies, fear, mistrust, radical acceptance… yes, this is being A Late Discovery Adoptee.’

Poor Joan/Doris she is the ONLY person in the entire world that has been shocked, lied to, betrayed, had fear, knew mistrust, never been accepted and so much more! Doesn’t your heart go out to her? Give me a pail to throw up in!

One must wonder…what really do all those other adoptees out there think about Joan/Doris?


Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel has found another avenue to sell her lying book!

and yet MORE of her exploiting the family for her own fame and fortune.

duped by adoption & an woman's Struggle for Identity, a book study

Apparently, sales have NOT been good! How could they be? Who wants to spend money on this idiot’s life? It’s common knowledge that her book is garbage and untrue!

Where’s that OTHER book she was going to publish a YEAR ago, the one with OTHER adoptees? Guess she didn’t get any takers for that! Nope she needs to get out of the book writing selling business!

Before long we will find Joan/Doris standing on street corners hawking her book!

Mainstream adoption reformers DON’T list her book on their book lists; they know that her books are NOT going to help the reform movement and they don’t want to be associated with her when the FAMILY (me) exposes them. And expose I will do!

So she’s found another way! Seen on Facebook…

Adoptee Voices Promotions

Under items for sale, we find

Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity.


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Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel continues to lie about ‘what really happened’ as to her being placed into adoption

As usual Joan/Doris seeks out any and all opportunities to spread her falsehoods, about how she was placed into adoption. And of course I take that opportunity to present the TRUTH of that matter. She also uses ANY opportunity to spread her agenda of anti-adoption! It’s appalling that she continues to exploit OUR PARENTS! Some day, she will be on HER death bed and will feel the FULL WEIGHT OF HER LIES.

As is the prerogative of any blog owner, they do not have to publish each and every comment. Such is the case here, with my reply; when I submitted my reply it was placed in ‘moderation’ and within an hour it was ‘gone’…that’s the way it is in the world of blogs and comments. And because I have a blog or two of my own…I can blog about the entire thing!

I’m NOT presenting the entire blog or comments, just Joan/Doris and my own. Joan/Doris reblogged it on her own blog.

TAKE NOTE of how Joan/Doris browbeats, insults and condemns, whom she is speaking to.

legitimatebastard on July 4, 2017 at 4:34 pm said:


Heather, I am a half orphan. My mother died and my father was widowed with 5 children.

Before I tell you my story, let me say that I occasionally write under the nickname of “halforphan56” but more recently chose to go with “legitimatebastard” because it is adoption law that governs what happens to the adoptee’s identity papers. The orphan and the bastard both are re-born to the adopting “parents” via the new, amended birth certificate. Laws were written to legitimize the bastard, but I did not need to be legitimize since I was born to married parents.

You claim “your son” needed to be adopted. Not so. Other family members could have been helped to keep him within his extended family. That is called Kinship Care. But since you insisted upon removing him form his home country, you took him away from his culture and language as well. That is cruel.

Legal guardianship within the home country and city would have been the next possible solution for this boy. But you chose to make him “your own” via adoption. You have ownership papers in the form of the adoption decree and his accurate medical record of live birth was revoked and sealed, and a replacement birth certificate was made indicating that you gave birth to him. How does it feel to be a Christian who lies?

Nothing you say convinces me that adoption was best for this boy. There are other alternatives, but you assume it is adoption as the answer. Because you are not aware of other alternatives.

Here is my situation. Again, an adoption was not necessary for me, a half orphan:

James 1:27 “…. to look after the orphans and widows in their distress …”

I never held it against my 31 year old father for making the hard decision to relinquish me into adoption less than one month after my 30 year old mother died. He was a devout Catholic and followed the advice of his parish priest.

It is the PRIEST who I fault. He said to my father at my mother’s funeral, “The baby needs two parents.” Sure, if you look only at the constant care of an infant, but wouldn’t it have been so much more loving, so much more caring and helpful if the PRIEST had offered help in the form of suggesting that volunteers from the church come in and help to care for me and my older siblings? How about donations of food, clothes, diapers, money? My grandparents were sick. Other family members had babies of their own. My father was stretched to the limit. He gave away his 5th child because a PRIEST put the idea in his head.

Oh, and, minutes after the priest spoke, a woman came up to my father and said, “I know someone who will take your baby.”

Her brother became my adoptive father.

Nice going, lady. Swoop down on a grieving husband and father. Take the baby off his hands, free up one more child that he didn’t need to feed so that you could pride yourself on procuring someone else’s baby for your brother. Nice going, Aunt Gertie, mighty Christian of you. May you rot in hell along with that priest.

This is not to say I didn’t love my adoptive parents, this is to say that my adoption was arranged by Catholics who were anything but Christian. I remain, and always will be, a “good without god” atheist; how I became adopted is just one of many reasons that I am no longer “a believer.”


And Gert’s comment that didn’t get approval…

What ‘really’ happened…

Wife was placed in hospital on drugs to ‘hold’ pregnancy and complete bed rest. Ten days AFTER she gave birth to her 5th child, in her hospital bed, the mother had exploring surgery; it was found she had terminal cancer.

Husband and wife spoke about what to do about the children being cared for by elderly grandparents and relatives. Infant was placed temporary with relatives. The father never bonded with infant.

With dying wife permission, husband proposed a marriage of convenience to a woman they knew that had two fatherless children. This ‘marriage’ would have given his 5 and her 2 children two parents…but…the second wife REFUSED to accept the infant. Some relatives wanted to ‘adopt’ the infant, but the father said, ‘if I can’t raise her no one else in the family will’.

The day his wife died, in his mind, his 5th child died as well; that was how he was able to give her up into adoption. Shirt-tale relatives KNEW of a couple that wanted a child, simple as that! There was NO involvement with anyone from any religion, nor was this discussed at his wife funeral.

Three months after his wife died, he remarried to provide for 6 children as he proceeded with the adoption of child #5; out of sight, out of mind!

The adopted out child had a stable two-parent home. Her siblings did NOT.

Due to long-term hospitalization of the second wife, one year after DEATH of mother, 4 LITTLE children, were placed into orphan & foster homes!



Dead people can’t and don’t speak! But Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel continues to exploit our DEAD mother and father!

more BS crap from this idiot

Source: Dead people can’t and don’t speak! But Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel continues to exploit our DEAD mother and father!

I am supposed to be a secret since I’m adopted

This is pure exploitation of two families! By an individual who just doesn’t GET IT or GET A LIFE.

She’s ADOPTED and doesn’t like that and the laws that govern ADOPTION won’t give her what she wants. Well she HAS her original document and she EXPLOITS it and MY PARENTS because she NEEDS the attention! She doesn’t give a damn about any ONE else in OUR FAMILY, whether any of us alive today and for generations to come, have any feeling for being exploited by this woman!

Not only has this adoptee written lies in three versions of the same ‘book’, but she continues to lie, fabricate, discuss, and exploit, for her own FAME, people that had the MISFORTUNE of being her parents and siblings!

Her outrage and explanations of ‘her’ birth circumstances will NOT alter the minds of the law-makers.

She is and has been WASTING the LIFE that she has! She ought to give THANKS for our parents for their part in creating HER LIFE and stop exploiting them because mother DIED and father HAD NO OPTION BUT TO ADOPT HER OUT.

So as long as this adoptee continues to exploit and expose MY PARENTS I shall continue to expose this adoptee!


Source: I am supposed to be a secret since I’m adopted


What a difference a year makes!

check out my post on


100 posts! WOW


Congratulations on writing 100 posts on duped by adoption & an woman’s Struggle for Identity, a book study!