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Reclaiming our Family Honor!

Reclaiming and regaining our family honor…that was stolen from us!

Taking back what Joan M Wheeler stole from our family!

ॐ शान्तिः शान्तिः शान्तिः ॐ
om shanti shanti shanti om



I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler (Doris Michol Sippel) says about me and family. The first book ‘Forbidden Family, A Half Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism‘ was pulled from publication by the publisher in May 2011. Then in 2015, she ‘self-published’ a ‘revised’ version calling it ‘Forbidden Family, an adoptee duped by adoption’. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor! Then in 2016 Joan changed her name back to her birth name and rewrote and republished the SAME crap in another book; a Third edition! CALLED ‘Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity’! Talk about conning people!

this blog’s title/sub title is… DUPED BY ADOPTION & AN WOMAN’S STRUGGLE FOR IDENTITY, A BOOK STUDY an in-depth analyzes of the books called Forbidden Family; My Life as an Adoptee Duped by adoption & An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity by Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel.

UPDATE Sept 2015 my new blog…

Duped by adoption, a book study An in-depth analyzes of the book Forbidden Family My Life as an Adoptee Duped by Adoption.

and a new Facebook page


UPDATE July 2015 added an LinkedIn account with a post

UPDATE March 2015 this post sums up the TRUE story of our family versus the ‘point of view’ of Joan Wheeler.

Update November 2014

The purpose of this blog is about exposing all the wrongs that Joan Wheeler has done to me and my family and telling the truth of myself and my family.

It would be wise to look at the ABOUT page to get updates that I have removed from this front page. It bears repeating…the sole purpose of this blog is about the behavior of Joan Wheeler.

Our commentary and reporting is our business.

The lying, hate filled book, called Forbidden Family, by Joan Wheeler is now dead. We told the truth and the publisher pulled the book because of its libelous contents. Joan Wheeler refuses to remove all of her blogs with that title and her hate words towards us.

This blog is to help reclaim OUR Family away from Joan Wheeler…she is the Forbidden One…she was NOT conceived in 1954, when this family picture was taken and can not claim this picture. She was adopted out of the family and when ‘reunited’ turned her hate and anger against us.

Yep, the worst thing Joan Wheeler ever did was to publish that lying book. Now she will have to live with that dead book tied around her neck until we set everything in it straight and right and it starts to stink and rot OR she decides to make it right and remove ALL references to Forbidden Family on her two web sites and apology to us siblings and our parents!
Warning…the contents of this blog are not suitable for young impressible minds or for people who believe everything Joan Wheeler has said or written. Believe her at your own risk! She is a user of people!
see joint post of Gert and Ruth
update of February 2014…Joan has still NOT answered any of our charges against her…in fact when asked directly she runs and hides away, or screams that we are harassing her…so we shall continue on until she answers to the dirty deeds and words she has said and deeds she has done. Joan still has NOT removed her hate blogs against us or gotten her friends to get rid of theirs, so we shall just carry on. Everything Joan and her friends have done to the birth family are part of the historical record.

HI there! I had the unfortunate experience of reading Joan Wheeler’s book (it was free on Kindle and in my interest area). I’m adopted, and have recently extricated myself from a disastrous reunion forced on me by my birth family. All that said…Joan Wheeler is a self-pitying narcissist. I feel bad for you and your family. You reached out to her in what seems to be hope and love only to have the door repeatedly slammed on your hand…then she blames you for ruining her door jam! Her writing in this book is wheedling and ‘oh they don’t make me the center of my universe so I’ll make them!’ in tone. You and your family are in my prayers that she either wises up or just stops out of boredom.


  • Jan 3, 2016…I’m replying to the about comment of same date

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us who are named in that latest garbage book of Joan M Wheeler. Glad to know that you didn’t have to pay $$ for it! I did pay for the Kindle but for the printed edition, with discounts, I paid .76 cents…yes seventy-six cents! This book, just like the first one, will never be any kind of ‘best-seller’ for she is speaking to a very small ‘crowd’ that think like herself. There are many out there, like yourself who ‘see’ behind what she writes.

    I’m glad that you KNOW about narcissistic behaviors for they can cause tremendous difficulties for anyone who gets ‘close’ to them. I’d encourage everyone to learn more about those types of behaviors for self-protection. Unfortunately, Joan will never ‘wise up’ nor ‘stop’ for any reason, because she is a narcissistic that NEEDS constant attention and she hates adoption.

    Sorry to hear that you have had a ‘disastrous reunion’; reunions are NOT easy for anyone and when they go horribly wrong, no one wins. Keep in mind that generally all families can be ‘messy’, doesn’t matter whether one is adopted or not, and if you can maintain proper boundaries, those messes won’t get too bad. Your life is your life, live it as you see fit to live it!

    Thank you for keeping us in your prayers, as we will you.


    I made a new blog post on my “REFUTING A BOOK OF LIES: FORBIDDEN FAMILY BY JOAN M. WHEELER by Joan M. Wheeler – exposing her lies”


Some adoptees just can’t GET IT that others are NOT interested in their politics and don’t know when to shut the f… up!

Insult me, tell me I’m wrong, browbeat me, and then when I tell you to take a hike, get all pissy about it and tell me I owe you an apology! When I state my position is contrary to yours, accept that and shut up! Don’t make me BE wrong because I disagree with you. Sounds just like how Joan behaves; narcissistic behavior and all!

So when they persist in ramming their agenda down the throat of someone who has said repeatedly to STOP, and they continue ramming…they are doing just what they accuse others of doing … NOT LISTENING. Then they turn EVIL and MEAN and resort to NAME CALLING AND INSULTING. When they behave this way, they lose their credibility, they are NOT effective and they do great harm to their cause.

This happens with any and all browbeating techniques.

In this short pattern of dialog, I’m Person A. Person B is the subject of this post.

Person A sees that Person B has an agenda

Person A doesn’t want to get into it and tries to ignore Person B but

Person B continues to comment stating that

Person B disagrees with several positions of person A.

Person B continues to discuss the disputed issues.

Person A says I’m not interested

Person B continues to lay it all out and onto Person A

Person A says AGAIN, and more forcefully, I’m not interested and this is why.

Person B continues to comment on the disputed issues and says Person A is wrong.

Person A says AGAIN, don’t lecture me

Person B continues to tell Person A they are wrong

Person A finally calls an end to the discussion

Person B won’t let it go and sends private message to Person A


Person B still won’t let it go and puts it on Facebook

Person A leaves comment

Person B FINALLY deletes all comments

EXCEPT I have the entire dialog and comments!

And I am presenting it all here!

See Ruth’s blog for details of ‘what’ happened.

The adoptee (MM) is a former friend of Joan/Doris who befriended Ruth. MM wants Ruth to write something for her so she could present it to her birth family. So MM is sharing thoughts with Ruth and MM is commenting on various posts on Ruth’s Facebook page.

I had shared a blog post I wrote on Ruth’s Facebook page. MM decides to comment about my blog post and things quickly go off the deep end.

beginning of exchange….

MM I noticed the person above who left a comment said she was a secret. If I am reading that correctly. But from what Ruth Herr Sippel Pace and you have said it doesn’t sound to me that she was ever a secret. Sounds like you guys did know about her. Plus I mean how could you not when your poor mother died?!

Ruth Herr Sippel Pace she was NEVER a secret.

Gert Mcqueen to us she was NEVER a secret, and that is what pisses joan off, we KNEW she didn’t SHE was adopted WE were not

MM I had a feeling she wasn’t a secret. I am. So she should stop pissing and moaning about that. I had to be the one to tell although I’ve only told some. Of course my bio mother is going around telling them to pretend I don’t exist and if they talk to me they are being rude to her, which is pissing me and my adoptive mom off. She really had a chance with you guys and blew it, and it makes no common sense as to why. She’s trying to pretend she was a secret to your family? It’s very condescending to me because I literally am a secret and treated like one by the few who do know.

Gert Mcqueen according to Joan…adoption makes her and her life etc a secret…that’s part of the whole adoption reform movement, that adoption birth certificates…CREATE a falsehood and keeps secrets. I don’t agree with that…there are REAL reasons why birth certificates are changed with adoptions…NOW I do believe that adoptees should have a means to obtain their medical histories BUT that should be without knowing the parents…it’s NOT about secrets…it’s ABOUT privacy…for the parents, birth/adoptive and the child, but Joan and others are beyond reasoning with.

Gert Mcqueen To Joan as an adoptee she didn’t and could not know her birth family that’s LAW…to these adoptees that means they were secrets, that their families were secrets etc etc…

MM Gert Mcqueen Actually an amended birth certificate does keep a secret. I would know this personally. It kept my original surname and my bio parents names from me.

MM Gert Mcqueen Actually you are very wrong on this. Original birth certificates are not sealed because of privacy. Original birth certificates are not sealed for privacy for 2 reasons. Reason A. An original birth certificate is not sealed until the adoption is finalized, so if a baby is given away for adoption but ends up growing up in foster care he or she keeps his or her original birth certificate making privacy null and void. Until their day of adoption they have access to their OBC, so say a kid wants to see his OBC and isn’t adopted until his 9th birthday for some odd reason. He has access to it, the day he becomes adopted he’s not allowed to have it anymore. This makes privacy null and void. Reason B. Original birth certificates were not always sealed. In fact, Kansas and Alaska have never sealed them so adoptees there hang out to their OBC and in Alabama they only sealed for a few years. In Pennsylvania they only started to give out amended birth certificates starting in 1984 because the pro life people erroneously thought it was make fewer abortions (it made no difference). All adoptees deserve their original birth certificate and it should never be sealed.

MM Gert Mcqueen I sent you a friend request btw.

MM Gert Mcqueen “Without knowing the parents”. No, absolutely not. To say this is to say you think it’s fine for me to be a dirty secret. Remember birthparent privacy is a myth and a sugarcoated way of telling people to be someone’s “dirty secret”. As my adoptive mother says, and my own morality and common sense, it is wrong and I should be allowed to get to know my cousins, my uncles,my brother, and my sisters who are adults. No, it is NEVER ok to make someone have to play the role of “stay in the closet and be a dirty secret”. I wouldn’t wish anyone to be in the hell I am in. Please think.

MM Gert Mcqueen The child is an adoptee and not a perpetual child. We do grow up. No, we did not ask for privacy. My adoptive parents did not ask for privacy. Bio mothers don’t ask for privacy and the few that do, still should not get it, which is why I’m mad with NJ and Ontario putting in redactions when releasing the OBC. A person never deserves to allow another person to be their dirty secret, and if that brings them pain, well, that is not the fault of the adoptee, that is the fault of the adoption agency luring them to take away their kid, their own family not supporting them, or as in your case just sucky circumstances where the baby truly couldn’t be kept. But privacy? Never. For this myth of privacy and forcing others, like myself, to be a secret, is what drives the adoptee suicide rate to be so high.

MM Gert Mcqueen Bio medical info can’t be given without permission due to patient/doctor confidentiality. However, what needs to happen is to stop allowing adoption agencies to decide whether or not they want to give the medical info. Hillside of Rochester did this, refusing to give the medical info, when the bio mother wanted to give it, as her/their little girl was having massive seizures. I am sorry to say she died in her twenties. I am amazed they are still in business.

Gert Mcqueen MM I adopted my own birth son with 2nd husband, there was NO SECRET, child gave permission for adoption, sure his birth certificate was changed, but that is NO issue

Gert Mcqueen MM I really don’t care! Please! I believe that there is a need for reform but I dont’ care to get into things

Gert Mcqueen MM yes I see that you sent me a request, please NOTE that I do not accept any friend requests I only have family members period no exceptions

MM Gert Mcqueen Changing a birth certificate is a huge issue when the adoptee has no say.

MM Gert Mcqueen Ok, I understand on that.

Gert Mcqueen MM please do not lecture me on adoption politics! I adopted my own son, and my parental rights were VIOLATED by joan and her politics I will not accept anymore BS over this issue…I believe what I believe, you believe what you believe

MM Gert Mcqueen So you don’t care that I am a dirty secret. Well, thanks. Shows you have low morals.

MM Gert Mcqueen Ummmm no see I believe and know fact. That’s the difference. There is no such thing as birth parent privacy or adoptee privacy or any privacy. I just proved you wrong on that from the comments above.

Gert Mcqueen MM  my child that I adopted was 16 years old…NO ADOPTIOn is the same…stop stop stop, don’t give me the adoption policts

MM Gert Mcqueen 16 is a HUGE difference here, but the way you talked it sounded like you were talking of infant adoption. You have to be more clear. If you are referring to the adoption of older kids then you are right, if I am talking about infant adoption then I am right. So both of us need to be more specific.

Gert Mcqueen MM  excuse me!!! I don’t care about any adoption politics… as a mother who adopted and my family was VIOLATED by Joan Wheeler because I adopted I’ve had 30 plus years of heart ache because I’ve been condemn for the act of adoption I DO NOT have to be more specific when I talk about the fact that adoption is NOT AN EVIL I do believe that we have no more need to discuss this

MM Gert Mcqueen Wrong. It doesn’t matter if you are an adoptive mother when you state a falsehood that original birth certificates were sealed for privacy reasons when I state to you the specific facts and laws of why they are not nor ever were a secret. And I am sorry Joan Wheeler is a nincompoop and I wish she wasn’t, but that doesn’t change the facts I present to you. I never said adoption is evil. Adoption can be a blessing, but you do not ask someone to be a dirty secret and you do not seal an OBC. Adoptees deserve their OBC like any other person if they ask for them. As for thinking adoption is evil that’s just silly talk and I never said that. Some kids need to be adopted. I was not one of them but your son surely was.

Gert Mcqueen I am NOT responsible for anyone but myself and my children when they were minor and I will not be lectured to or judged by anyone Megan Mary…the laws are the laws I didn’t make them and I can’t change them please NEVER talk to me again about adoption I shall NEVER SEE IT YOUR WAY so please stop commenting to me…good night

MM Ruth Herr Sippel Pace Amazing how your sister thinks she is right that original birth certificates are sealed for privacy reasons when I just gave her a lesson in law, state and federal, proving that original birth certificates are never sealed for privacy reasons, but I guess some people have an ego that is too big to oh wait, know they were wrong. Nor did your sister bother to apologize to me in saying that the bio parent has a right to stay hidden which means has a right to keep us adoptees as dirty secrets so that only lead me to think your sister thinks it’s ok for us adoptees to be dirty secrets (maybe I am wrong but it sure sounds like she thinks it’s ok for me to be a dirty secret). Sorry but my own adoptive mother would strongly disagree with everything Gert thinks. Your sister has a lot to learn when it comes to why OBCs are sealed, she just refuses to believe it.

Gert Mcqueen MM are you brain dead? can’t you get it when a person tells you to stop lecturing them? who the hell do you think you are to tell me that I’m wrong? my lawyer, my judge? my ego…is that something that you NEED to judge? I should apologize to you because you OFFENDED me? I DON’T HAVE anything more to learn about adoption…Megan YOU NEED TO LEARN TO STOP BERATING PEOPLE. continue to belive what you want about me, doesn’t matter, you MEAN NOTHING TO ME…go away

END of exchange…

BUT she can’t let go…

She sends me a private message AFTER I told her to get lost…this is consider not only rude but an attack.

MM NO you showed your true colors when you decided to say you think birthparent privacy exists and even worse should exist. Which equivalates to being someone’s dirty secret. So thanks for telling ME it’s ok for my bio family to treat me like utter shit. That is showing your true colors. And thanks for showing ME your true colors in deciding to totally not listen at all to the REAL reason why OBCs are and were sealed, which is NOT privacy and Kansas and Alaska prove that!

I then send a private message to Ruth…

sorry but I dislike mary megan she’s an asshole, I should be more specific??? NO she needs to stop her adoption propaganda with someone , me, who has adopted,, I will not tolerate that person’s BS anymore

THEN I checked her Facebook page…here want I found MINUTES after she sent me a PM

Megan Mary 6 mins · Think it’s okay for adoptees to be someone’s dirty little secret grow some morals because your thinking strategy is disgusting. Just unfriended someone because they and their sister believe in the falsehood of “birthparent privacy” after I explained to them IT DOES NOT EXIST and that it’s fine for adoptees to be someone’s secret. The one bitch replies with “I’m an adoptive mother, I don’t needa lecture and won’t see it your way”. It’s not, my way, and it’s state, provincial, and federal law. My goodness eejits need to pick up a law book for once, even if it’s only where you’re from! I’m sitting here knowing law in multiple states, provinces, and nations, but I guess not everyone wants to be intelligent. Does it look like I give a rat’s behind you adopted? My own adoptive mother thinks you’re a word that rhymes with punt. Shoes belong in the closet. Not people!

Zoë Hildebrand people and their bollocks.

AND my comment to her, on her Facebook page…

Gert Mcqueen nice going! showed your true colors didn’t you

AT THAT she deleted all comments

SO…pious little girl that she is…shows her true colors…typical with these types of adoptees.

  1. Reblogged this on Refuting a Book of Lies: Forbidden Family — and commented:

    follow up on Ruth’s recent post, links are within the posts…


  2. interesting – and thank you Gert for posting the entire exchange, as it had happened, and deleted by Megan while I was offline.

    Megan contacted ME on July 18, 2016 AFTER she had a fight with Joan Wheeler/Doris Sippel – our adopted-out, then reunited with, younger sister.
    She said she had been reading my blog and was appalled at Joan’s behaviors towards me.
    Way back when she first contacted me – after reading my blog, she said “I urge you when reading this line from your blog “Gert and I don’t really care about any adoption issues” to please have a change of heart. ”

    to which I replied:
    “Megan, when I said (on my blog) that we don’t care about adoption issues, that meant that it isn’t on the top of our cause list. – we are aware of the issues and are for reform of a more truthful birth certificate and of course medical information, genetic background info.”

    So yeah, Gert is right – these adoptees just can’t get it that others are NOT interested in their politics and don’t know when to shut the f…. up!

    Megan Mary’s passion, as is Joan’s passion is their adoption issues. Fine. Good for them.
    I told little Megan that right from the get go.
    She must be learning impaired that she didn’t get that.

    She got her panties in a bunch when Gert told her over and over to shut up and leave her alone.

    She told me that she thinks Joan is a wack-a-doo. Well I think that too. I also believe that Megan Mary is also a wack-a-do.
    For several months, Megan Mary and I were connected on facebook. We had a few interesting conversations on facebook, both private and public. Megan doesn’t know me. I don’t know her. All we know about each other is what’s on facebook. And I am very clear on facebook what I will not tolerate. And that is DISRESPECTING ME AND MY VIEWPOINTS.
    And since I told Megan right from the get go, that I am NOT interested in adoption issues, and she didn’t get it – or rather REFUSED to get it – then further dug herself into a hole by going after one of my family members who has the same viewpoint as I do – well I view her as a wack-a-do.
    Then to further cement her reputation as a wack-a-do, Megan turns coward – deletes things, unfriends and blocks ME, who had nothing to do with the exchange between her and Gert (I was snoozing on the couch with the cat).
    Megan, are you 31 or are you 10 years old? Grow up, grow a spine.

What REALLY is the motive of Joan M Wheeler taking her birth name of Doris M Sippel? Was it THOUGHT OUT or is there a MOTIVE?

If an adoptee changes their name, legally, back to the birth name, what is the motive/reason? Is it really a good thing to ‘take back’ their birth name? What about others in that birth family whom …

Source: What REALLY is the motive of Joan M Wheeler taking her birth name of Doris M Sippel? Was it THOUGHT OUT or is there a MOTIVE?

Joan Mary Wheeler aka Doris Michol Sippel has her very first book signing and blows it by screaming at another author there, then calls for other adoptees to harass the woman AND publishes the woman’s phone number on social media.

Read this blog post by Gert McQueen to read how Joan aka Doris started screaming at another author at a book signing event held at the Buffalo Historical Museum. And then goes after the author by t…

Source: Joan Mary Wheeler aka Doris Michol Sippel has her very first book signing and blows it by screaming at another author there, then calls for other adoptees to harass the woman AND publishes the woman’s phone number on social media.

If this is HOW Doris M Sippel/Joan M Wheeler behaves, towards another author, at her FIRST BOOK SIGNING, than she ought to be banned from book signings!

this idiot ought to be banned from book signings…she is dangerous

duped by adoption & an woman's Struggle for Identity, a book study

Doris/Joan is an idiot! She’s so in love with herself and her so-called message to the public that she doesn’t see that she makes an ass out of herself. But I’m sure others see her behavior, as you will see within this post.

There are THREE separate items in this post; all are related to each other.

I was shown a Facebook page announcement for a book signing, where Doris/Joan was to be in attendance, AFTER the show was over. Ruth and I then left a couple of comments.


See this for the announcement. The Buffalo History Museum added 12 new photosNovember 25 at 3:13pm

Ruth Herr Sippel Pace             I did not attend this – but will say this: Doris Michol Sippel’s book “Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity,” is nothing but a rehash of a book…

View original post 2,073 more words

Why Forbidden Family was pulled from publication

The book Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler is nothing but a book of lies. On the copyright page, is the following statement: “This is a work of non-fiction: the events are entirely true to the…

Source: Why Forbidden Family was pulled from publication

Curiouser and curiouser….why did Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel do IT?

why all the secrecy…why all the cloak and dagger??

duped by adoption & an woman's Struggle for Identity, a book study

Yes I am curious! Why I ask you…does Joan/Doris do what she does? Whom is she trying to impress or suck up to? Whom did she piss off? Is she attempting another power play in the world of adoption activists?

On November 30, 2016 Joan/Doris published a lengthy article, on her WordPress blog. It was very good! Obviously Joan/Doris did a LOT of work on that piece. Both I and Ruth LIKED it! So imagine our surprise when a couple of days later it was GONE!

But… from a google search I found the article in it’s entirely…NOTHING is ever gone from the internet! Joan you really ought to understand this.

So it begs the question why??? Why did she write the piece and then why did she delete it??

If you know please leave a comment.

From a google search cache…

but if you click on link…you get…

View original post 51 more words


UPDATE SEPTEMBER 25 2016 Can’t believe that one person can be as stupid and ignorant as this person is! Joan M Wheeler, changed her name back to her birth name (Doris M Sippel). Fine, great, good f…

Source: About

Two-part evidence (here) of Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel’s activities; her name change and her ‘false’ story to promote her political #adoption propaganda!

We, the birth family, had learned that Joan Mary Wheeler changed her name legally to her birth name of Doris Michol Sippel sometime in June 2016. Then we learned, before she made it known publicly,…

Source: Two-part evidence (here) of Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel’s activities; her name change and her ‘false’ story to promote her political #adoption propaganda!

Adoption stories in modern novels; #adoption is everywhere, whether you like it or not, Joan M Wheeler or Doris or whatever you call yourself.

Memoirs are just ‘constructions’ of one’s life and not necessarily THE truth! Joan/Doris continues to CONSTRUCT her ‘true’ life story (more on that at the end of this post).

First here is a book review…of sorts

The Storied Life of A.J. Fikry  By Gabrielle Zevin

Generally not my choice to read, it was chosen by a book club. While the jacket stuff sounded interesting and even intriguing, on the whole the story is too light weight, full of contemporary references and views that do not interest me. I wondered whom the ‘audience’ was that the author was trying to reach. While it is true that in many stories there are ‘twists’ that are not anticipated. The twists in this story somehow missed their marks.

Much of the writing and ‘ideas’ seem too contrived (invented or fabricated) going back and forth from juvenile to more a mature thinking; for example, the use of real author’s books with a commentary by the fictional character as chapter headings. But this, interjection of other books and authors, did not override the lightness, cuteness or other attempts to make this a ‘feel-good’ book when there were certain tragedies in the entire. It left me wondering…what’s the point…that the author was trying to get across?

What really got me, into the story and kept me reading, was a possible REAL life circumstance of a young child being left at the book store with only a desperate note from the child’s mother…please take care of her. Then the next day that mother is found dead, a suicide. Initially A. J. Fikry does what any person would do, take custody and care of child until the ‘authorities’ can get there, in 3 days’ time, to take the child into foster care and eventually into adoption.

This is where LOVE comes into to play. Fikry not only falls in love with the child but sees where he can help both his and the child’s lives, for the better. He chooses adoption! And of course, presto, the social worker and the system immediately, without question, grant the child to him! It is presented in a warm, loving, caring feel-good way that does NOT represent the reality of such a situation and circumstances!

Regardless of my opinions of the writing and story lines, this book does give an example of real life circumstances where ADOPTION may be the only option.

This book also brings out an example of how memoirs are just ‘constructions’ of one’s life and not necessarily THE truth.

^^^^ end of my thoughts on this book^^^^

Much of Joan/Doris’s writing is like this book; full of juvenile thoughts, fabrications, trying to fit too many characters and circumstances around HER theme, that adoption did her wrong and is wrong. I write BETTER, DEEPER blog posts that all the BOOKS and rants that Joan/Doris writes!

Here are links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler (Doris Michol Sippel) says about me and family. The first book ‘Forbidden Family, A Half Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism‘ published in 2009, was pulled from publication by the publisher in May 2011 due to libelous material in it. Then in 2015, she ‘self-published’ a ‘revised’ version calling it ‘Forbidden Family, an adoptee duped by adoption’, being her own editor and owner. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor! Then in 2016 Joan changed her name back to her birth name and reedited and republished the SAME crap in another book; a Third edition! CALLED ‘Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity’! Talk about conning people!

this blog’s title/sub title is… DUPED BY ADOPTION & AN WOMAN’S STRUGGLE FOR IDENTITY, A BOOK STUDY an in-depth analyzes of the books called Forbidden Family; My Life as an Adoptee Duped by adoption & An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity by Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel.




Joan M Wheeler (Doris M Sippel) says she’s “the most hated anti-adoption adoptee in America”; wow talk about delusions of grandeur!

Okay this is an old rant of Joan’s (2010) but it serves to show her narcissistic nasty behavior and as such is important to bring out, for ingrain behaviors never change.

To be clear…here are facts that needs to be known before we move on.

I, Gert, expose the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler (Doris Michol Sippel) says about me and family. The first book ‘Forbidden Family, A Half Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism’ was published in November 2009 but was pulled from publication by the publisher in May 2011, due to libelous material within the book. Then in 2015, she ‘self-published’ a ‘revised’ version calling it ‘Forbidden Family, an adoptee duped by adoption’. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor! Then in 2016 Joan changed her name back to her birth name and reedited and republished the SAME crap in another book; a Third edition! CALLED ‘Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity’! Talk about conning people!

Here are the links to my second blog and a Facebook page dedicated to these ‘books’.

this blog’s title/sub title is… DUPED BY ADOPTION & AN WOMAN’S STRUGGLE FOR IDENTITY, A BOOK STUDY an in-depth analyzes of the books called Forbidden Family; My Life as an Adoptee Duped by adoption & An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity by Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel.

And here is the Facebook page…


So Joan receives an email from the National Council For Adoption about the ‘anti-adoption’ movement’s actions. Joan of course is ANTI-adoption and she itching for a fight and rallying her troops. Funny thing…here it is 6 years later, in 2016, and Joan has been distanced by most of the mainstream anti-adoption community! Joan is a ‘has-been’, she had her 15 minutes of fame, wrote/published the same book THREE TIMES and still is a NO-BODY! Her books are NOT listed in any ‘list of books written by adoptees’! Her message has always been destroyed by her hate, anger and lies against both birth and adoptive families. Her presentations and her counter attacks have proven that she can NOT hold the stage to present her ‘counter position’ to the ‘pro-adoption’ movements.

Is she really the most hated anti-adoption adoptee in America or the MOST dumbest? Where has it (her fighting) gotten her? Has she stopped adoption? Where is she today? Crying in her soup! She is NOTHING and has NOTHING. Adoption will CONTINUE on!

The link to her post follows. I am consolidating the ‘letter’ to conserve space here. Some comments to Joan’s post follow. If one is interested in seeing comments, they can go to Joan’s site and see them all, there are 15. I am NOT presenting all comments, but just a selection to show how Joan, and pal Mara, gang up on any opposing view. What I find interesting is the vitriol, that Joan and other adoptees use, does NOT change what they want changed! Such venom just turns people off and away from the speaker. Joan and gang cannot present their arguments in a clear calm manner! They don’t speak to law-makers only to each other and then they go on line and browbeat pro-adoption people with their hate.

Joan as legitimatebastard writes…

It came in my email inbox:

The anti-adoption community is working overtime.  Stop them now.

National Council For Adoption []  Thu 8/12/2010 11:43 AM

Dear Friend of Adoption,

At NCFA, we believe a nurturing, permanent family is every child’s birthright, yet there are those who actually oppose adoption and attack NCFA for our strong advocacy. In fact, the anti-adoption community is working overtime to counter our mission to promote a positive culture of adoption.

This opposition demonstrates our success as the nation’s authoritative voice for adoption. We have seen passage of several NCFA-supported initiatives on Capitol Hill, enjoyed our most successful National Adoption Conference ever, had a wonderful night out with 500 children waiting to be adopted and their foster parents with Kids at Heart at Nationals Park, appeared on CNN, and contributed to stories in Timemagazine, The New York Times, and the Associated Press.

What can you do to stop this negativity and anti-adoption efforts? You can make an urgent online, tax-deductible gift right now of $50, $75, or $100to ensure that adoption remains strong.  We need your immediate financial support so that we can continue our important advocacy on behalf of children, birthparents, and adoptive families all around the world.  Please, visit our website and make an urgent online, tax-deductible gift of $50, $75, or $100 and support our efforts to promote a positive culture of adoption.

You can also show your support for NCFA and adoption by joining our official Facebook Page by clicking here. Then, suggest our page to your Facebook friends.  We want our page to be a positive place where birthparents, prospective adoptive parents, and adopted persons can share their experiences about adoption and help raise awareness for the positive option of adoption for women facing an unplanned pregnancy.  Together, we will keep adoption strong, and we will not allow the anti-adoption minority to negatively influence policy and practice.

Will you please make an urgent online, tax-deductible gift right now of $50, $100, or $250 to ensure that adoption remains a positive option for women facing an unplanned pregnancy?  You can STOP the negativity and anti-adoption efforts:DONATE NOW to keep adoption strong.

With sincere thanks for your support, Chuck Johnson President and CEO

P.S.  Will you please forward this message to your friends, family, and contacts and ask them to make an urgent online, tax-deductible gift of $50, $75 or $100 to ensure that adoption remains strong?      &&& end of letter &&&

So how does Joan reply? The same as always with contempt!


Chuckie, Chuckles, or whatever-you-want-to-call-him, is at it again.

Looks like I have no choice but to bring out some former posts from my previous blogs.

You asked for it, sweetie pie. Stay tuned.

Signed, Half-Orphan56, LegitimateBastard, best known as Joan Mary Wheeler BORN AS Doris Michol Sippel —- the most hated anti-adoption adoptee in America!

Why am I anti-adoption? Because I am PRO FAMILY PRESERVATION!

&&& and now some comments &&&

Lori A  says

I’m confused as to WHY they need money to shut up the so called anti adoption people? What will money do? I was expecting something like “post how happy you are” or “discredit them at every turn”. LOL, instead the logic is “we need donated money to keep them quiet?” I seriously dont get it. AUGUST 14, 2010 AT 9:23 PM

Mara says

Ahhhhh, poor up-Chuckie is afraid his baby business will be going out of business. Those responsible for sealing our birth records should have thought about your wellbeing, Chuckie, before they perpetrated their evil deeds. They did care that the babies would some day grow up and be PISSED. They only cared about the money at the time, just as you do now. Piss on your baby-pimping business you disgraceful vulture. AUGUST 15, 2010 AT 12:28 PM

Mara says I meant did NOT care, Chuckie, if that confused you at all.AUGUST 15, 2010 AT 12:29 PM

Chelsea says

Perhaps if you people would focus on what’s best for a child then maybe your anger would be less. Take a ride with me sometimes, a police officer who has to go in and literally peel a child off a hot radiator after his protector, his biologcal mother has beaten him half to death because he dared talk back to his step father. Or a young teenager who has just given birth several months ago gives the baby vodka so he can sleep through the night so she can go party with her friends because the little brat cries so much. Or the granddaddy of them all , a young girl who puts the newborn in a trash can because the baby’s father left her and she does not want to have anything to do with his bastard.

All these cases I have cited are all true. Tell me again that we should try and make a family anyway instead of getting these kids to famililes that will love them unconditionally and nuture them the way they should be loved. At the end of the day love and not biology should be the deciding factor. And as long as I am able to I will make sure these criminals lose all rights to these precious children and spend as much time in jail as possible. AUGUST 15, 2010 AT 2:03 PM

Mara says


As a police officer, I saw a lot of child abuse. I remember the adoptive grandfather who molested his new granddaughter by having her suck his p*nis. I took his confession. Don’t try to lecture me or anyone else on the “better than” scenarios of adoption. Myself and many of my adoptee friends are lucky to be alive because of the abuse of our adoptoraptors.

I agree that children should be removed from abuse. You and I agree on that. But taking them away from their biological family instead of helping them find kinship care and sealing their birth certificates is immoral and should be ILLEGAL. I’m lucky I survived my abuse. He threatened to kill me all the time. Take your preaching elsewhere, you have NO idea what you are talking about, Officer Chelsea. AUGUST 16, 2010 AT 9:56 AM

legitimatebastard says

LoriA – I think NCFA needs money to lobby louder on Capital Hill. Just my guess. Money speaks louder than our reality.

Mara – keep being pissed because we need bastards like you to keep the adoptive-parents-wannabees in on why we are mad!

Chelsea – what you see on your job is truly horrific, no question about it. We are not saying to put children back into the hands of parents who are abusive, BUT you need to know adoptive parents can also be abusive. Adoptees are injured and killed by their adoptive parents, too, so your logic falls flat. I’m a Social Worker so I know where you are coming from – I’ve been to court with clients who have lost their children due to nothing more than poverty. In the cases you site, removing a child and placing a child in a safe home is a good idea provided that means in extended kinship care or guardianship that will allow a child access to toehr family memebrs AND to maintain her or his identity at birth AND allow for sblings to be raised together. I lost ALL of my siblings and my identity at birth due to being relinquished and then adopted. And there was no good reason for me to lose everything so that my adoptive parents could have a child to love. It was by their will, and the courts, that I be forbidden access to my own full blood siblings — and THAT is child abuse of me, and the siblings left behind: psychological child abuse. Those wounds continue well into adulthood.  AUGUST 16, 2010 AT 12:04 AM

legitimatebastard says

NCFA IS desperate! They think that money is everything, can buy everything, including kids! Including bastards’ silence! Yes, we ARE onto them (NCFA) and they are afraid that if too many people in the general public read our blogs and posts, we bastards will actually make a change. THEY do not want the changes we have been saying for decades! Desperate, they are. Logical, we are! AUGUST 14, 2010 AT 3:59 PM


Yep…nothing more to say…Joan/Doris says it all! And adoption keeps on keeping on!