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Reclaiming our Family Honor!

Reclaiming and regaining our family honor…that was stolen from us!

Taking back what Joan M Wheeler stole from our family!

ॐ शान्तिः शान्तिः शान्तिः ॐ
om shanti shanti shanti om

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UPDATE Sept 2015 my new blog…

Duped by adoption, a book study An in-depth analyzes of the book Forbidden Family My Life as an Adoptee Duped by Adoption.

https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/

and a new Facebook page

https://www.facebook.com/dupedbyadoption1

UPDATE July 2015 added an LinkedIn account with a post

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/heres-what-i-am-all-gert-mcqueen

UPDATE March 2015 this post sums up the TRUE story of our family versus the ‘point of view’ of Joan Wheeler.

https://gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/2015/03/02/joanwheeler-has-a-new-business-is-asking-for-submissions-heres-mine-flipthescript/

Update November 2014

The purpose of this blog is about exposing all the wrongs that Joan Wheeler has done to me and my family and telling the truth of myself and my family.

It would be wise to look at the ABOUT page to get updates that I have removed from this front page. It bears repeating…the sole purpose of this blog is about the behavior of Joan Wheeler.

Our commentary and reporting is our business.

The lying, hate filled book, called Forbidden Family, by Joan Wheeler is now dead. We told the truth and the publisher pulled the book because of its libelous contents. Joan Wheeler refuses to remove all of her blogs with that title and her hate words towards us.

This blog is to help reclaim OUR Family away from Joan Wheeler…she is the Forbidden One…she was NOT conceived in 1954, when this family picture was taken and can not claim this picture. She was adopted out of the family and when ‘reunited’ turned her hate and anger against us.

Yep, the worst thing Joan Wheeler ever did was to publish that lying book. Now she will have to live with that dead book tied around her neck until we set everything in it straight and right and it starts to stink and rot OR she decides to make it right and remove ALL references to Forbidden Family on her two web sites and apology to us siblings and our parents!
Warning…the contents of this blog are not suitable for young impressible minds or for people who believe everything Joan Wheeler has said or written. Believe her at your own risk! She is a user of people!
see joint post of Gert and Ruth
update of February 2014…Joan has still NOT answered any of our charges against her…in fact when asked directly she runs and hides away, or screams that we are harassing her…so we shall continue on until she answers to the dirty deeds and words she has said and deeds she has done. Joan still has NOT removed her hate blogs against us or gotten her friends to get rid of theirs, so we shall just carry on. Everything Joan and her friends have done to the birth family are part of the historical record.
 NEW COMMENTS JAN 3, 2016

HI there! I had the unfortunate experience of reading Joan Wheeler’s book (it was free on Kindle and in my interest area). I’m adopted, and have recently extricated myself from a disastrous reunion forced on me by my birth family. All that said…Joan Wheeler is a self-pitying narcissist. I feel bad for you and your family. You reached out to her in what seems to be hope and love only to have the door repeatedly slammed on your hand…then she blames you for ruining her door jam! Her writing in this book is wheedling and ‘oh they don’t make me the center of my universe so I’ll make them!’ in tone. You and your family are in my prayers that she either wises up or just stops out of boredom.

Edit

  • Jan 3, 2016…I’m replying to the about comment of same date

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us who are named in that latest garbage book of Joan M Wheeler. Glad to know that you didn’t have to pay $$ for it! I did pay for the Kindle but for the printed edition, with discounts, I paid .76 cents…yes seventy-six cents! This book, just like the first one, will never be any kind of ‘best-seller’ for she is speaking to a very small ‘crowd’ that think like herself. There are many out there, like yourself who ‘see’ behind what she writes.

    I’m glad that you KNOW about narcissistic behaviors for they can cause tremendous difficulties for anyone who gets ‘close’ to them. I’d encourage everyone to learn more about those types of behaviors for self-protection. Unfortunately, Joan will never ‘wise up’ nor ‘stop’ for any reason, because she is a narcissistic that NEEDS constant attention and she hates adoption.

    Sorry to hear that you have had a ‘disastrous reunion’; reunions are NOT easy for anyone and when they go horribly wrong, no one wins. Keep in mind that generally all families can be ‘messy’, doesn’t matter whether one is adopted or not, and if you can maintain proper boundaries, those messes won’t get too bad. Your life is your life, live it as you see fit to live it!

    Thank you for keeping us in your prayers, as we will you.

     

    I made a new blog post on my “REFUTING A BOOK OF LIES: FORBIDDEN FAMILY BY JOAN M. WHEELER by Joan M. Wheeler – exposing her lies”
    https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/2016/01/03/2016-a-new-year-and-im-back-to-blog-about-joan-mary-wheelers-lies-in-her-forbidden-family-trashbook/

     

Joan M Wheeler would NEVER accept any of these scenarios, where a child would have to be sacrificed; Judgment of Solomon, Sophie’s Choice, Burning Building test.

No, she sees no scenario where adoption is an answer, ever! She’s totally against adoption no matter what! Foolish woman! Dangerous woman! Life is full of tragedies where people MUST make hard/difficult choices and sacrifices, including those related to one’s own children. She herself gave her children up, in their daily lives, for the CAUSE OF ADOPTION.

BUT before we continue I want to share…

I have a new blog and Facebook page devoted to Joan’s second book, the first was pulled from publication by publisher in 2011, Joan has NOW self-published…stupid woman!

https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/

https://www.facebook.com/dupedbyadoption1

duped by adoption, a book study; an in-depth analyzes of the book Forbidden Family My Life as an Adoptee Duped by Adoption and the author’s first book Forbidden Family

so check us out and see what kind of garbage she has in this book and comment

NOW to continue

Adoption is NOT an evil. People create evils. And yes, some who have been adopted ended up with parents that did evil to them, but…that is no excuse to condemn all adoptions. Joan should take a real close look at what evils she DID to her own children! Like I said she is an dangerous woman!

When Joan’s libelous book, Forbidden Family, first came out I was very busy with reading it, documenting what was in it, preparing documentation to present to the publisher and countering the variety of ‘on-line’ attacks from Joan and her pals.

I had collected the many sites where Joan left comments, that I found, into folders to ‘get back to’. So, yes this post is about some things that are years old, but STILL very much needed to be presented and righted! As long as Joan is alive and discussing, and writing about, the birth family we shall continue to expose her and right the wrongs she has done to us.

Joan Wheeler has done a huge disservice and dishonor to our father and mother. Joan has misjudged, labeled and condemned our father for his ‘life choices’. Furthermore, Joan has done the same disservice and dishonor to the two people who adopted her. She has no shame, no sense of decency toward parents who have to make difficult choices and who raised her. She also has never done her own children right! She is just a hypocrite!

This post is about Joan’s comment on this topic:

What kind of woman does this? Burning building test… link provided below.

I also am providing the links to the ‘truth’ of Joan’s placement into adoption, the whys and hows of it, that Joan refuses to accept.

http://www.chicagonow.com/portrait-of-an-adoption/2013/10/adoption-reunification-when-it-doesnt-work-out/

https://gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/2013/01/13/how-my-family-has-been-touched-by-adoption-both-positive-and-negative-aspects-by-gert-mcqueen/

https://gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/2013/06/25/as-a-member-of-the-real-forbidden-family-i-answer-10-interview-questions-related-to-my-article-how-adoption-affected-my-family/

And this post in which I outline just why Joan’s ideas would never be acceptable to our father.

Joan M Wheeler plays lawyer; insisting her ‘rights’ were violated! She has no training in the legal field!

Over years, of following Joan Wheeler’s lies and misrepresenting our family, on the Internet, I’ve come to recognize many individuals and what they stand for. Lori Lavender Luz is an ‘open adoption’ adoptive mother who is well-rounded and knowledgeable.

Long before myself and my sister Ruth began our blogs to tell the truth against the lies within the book Joan wrote, Joan had been out on the Internet. She argues with anyone who is pro-adoption, including Lori.

All anyone knew about Joan’s family and siblings came from Joan herself. Of course it was all hate and lies and misrepresentations!

Joan’s book was published November 2009. Here we find her in 2010 LYING about our father and her adoption! At the end of her comment I will address a few specific statements.

http://lavenderluz.com/2008/05/what-kind-of-woman-does-this-2.html

Joan M Wheeler April 7, 2010 at 6:46 am

The “Sophie’s choice” (my analogy) or “burning building” approach does not fit all situations. You completely overlook the fact that most mothers are talked into giving up their babies by an adoption industry that feeds upon the weak to provide children for the more monetarily prosperous adopting families. You do not take into consideration that fathers, too, are talked into relinquishment of their children when faced with the black/white thinking of no other options presented to parents in crisis. My father was talked into relinquishing me just after my mother’s death by a Catholic priest who insisted that the baby needs two parents. My father’s four other children also needed two parents, and, we needed to stay together as a family, but it was much easier to give our father no other options, no help, and no support, and no grief counseling for himself and his four older children in coping with the death of his wife and our mother. By the way, my natural father is well-hated by my extended adoptive family who were happy that he provided a child to be adopted by one of their own, but they also looked down upon him for giving away his baby. This is the destructiveness of adoption psychology.

The solution? No adoption at all. Period. Family preservation, kinship care, and guardianship are the only possible solutions because none of these solutions remove a child from an existing family. None of these solutions change a child’s identity and birth certificate to that of a falsified birth certificate that is routinely issued to adoptive parents fraudulently indicating that they “gave birth” to a child they legally adopted.

The entire system of adoption is corrupt. Guardianship is the only option as it provides for the intact identity of the child and does not destroy the existing family. Joan M Wheeler

My comments now…

Joan said…You completely overlook the fact that most mothers are talked into giving up their babies by an adoption industry that feeds upon the weak to provide children for the more monetarily prosperous adopting families.

Gert says… She can’t resist telling the other person that they haven’t looked at all the facts! What does that have to do with Joan’s adoption? Nothing, like I said she is against ALL adoptions and will always go after any pro-adoption person.

Joan said…fathers, too, are talked into relinquishment of their children when faced with the black/white thinking of no other options presented to parents in crisis.

Gert says…Yes father must make those decisions but Joan is still wrong here. Our father KNEW his wife was dying 3 months BEFORE she died. He had to make a decision FAST about what he was going to do to provide for that infant and his other children. He planned to marry another woman, with children, but she refused to take the infant.

Joan said…My father was talked into relinquishing me just after my mother’s death by a Catholic priest who insisted that the baby needs two parents. My father’s four other children also needed two parents, and, we needed to stay together as a family

Gert says… The priest was not that important in any of the decisions made! Once my mother gave birth to the child (Joan), in the hospital where she was for months, on the drug DES to hold that pregnancy, she then had a exploratory surgery. It was discovered that she had massive uterine cancer that spread…she was DYING. The family was ALREADY split up between grandparents and aunts/uncles waiting for the DEATH. My father had plans to keep the family together with a 2nd marriage, but as I said, that woman REFUSED to take the infant. Adoption WAS THE ONLY OPTION.

Joan said… it was much easier to give our father no other options, no help, and no support, and no grief counseling for himself and his four older children in coping with the death of his wife and our mother.

Gert says… What? Where does she come up with this non-sense? First off, Joan does not look at the times when these events occurred; mid-1950s, when most people ‘took care of themselves’ and got on in life. Joan herself is so used to being in counseling that she tends to forget that most people just deal with the life they are dealt with! The family MOVED ON when the decision was made, by the father, to remarry (which took care of her 2 children and his 4 children) and he placed the infant into adoption, quickly for the BENEFIT of all. To give up that infant, the father, psychologically, made that infant DEAD at the moment his wife and the infant’s mother DIED. The family unit was torn apart after the needed hospitalization of the 2nd wife/step-mother one year AFTER the death of our mother.

Joan said…my natural father is well-hated by my extended adoptive family

Gert says… And this happens in most families! What’s the importance here? Nothing, except for Joan to ‘justify’ why her adoptive family were torturing her!

Joan said…the destructiveness of adoption psychology

Gert says… Well then why isn’t Joan talking to the people who MAKE laws?

Joan said…Family preservation, kinship care, and guardianship are the only possible solutions because none of these solutions remove a child from an existing family.

Gert says… Not always an option. Our father said if HE could not raise HIS child, NO other in the FAMILY would raise HIS child. Joan just doesn’t get it!

Joan said…None of these solutions change a child’s identity and birth certificate to that of a falsified birth certificate

Gert says… This is what it’s all about with Joan.

Joan said…Guardianship is the only option as it provides for the intact identity of the child and does not destroy the existing family.

Gert says… No it’s NOT the only option! Just because Joan says so doesn’t mean it’s an option. Joan’s adoption did NOT destroy the family.

To continue on…

Joan M Wheeler April 7, 2010 at 6:46 am

I forgot to mention: it would be good for those of us who do not wish to use their Google accounts, but have existing websites, to be able to use thier accounts here. Joan M Wheeler

Lori Lavender Luz April 7, 2010 at 6:46 am

Joan, thanks for visiting.

Your solution would not have worked for either of my children’s first moms.

I can understand why you have the viewpoint you do, though, given your father’s treatment.

Until recently, I did allow anyone to comment. Until I began getting tons of spamments, especially on old posts. Sorry for the inconvenience.

~~~~~~

AND OVER A YEAR LATER… I posted about the demise of the libelous book and my comment is still there!

Gert McQueen June 2, 2011 at 8:23 am

It needs to be pointed out that the book Forbidden Family, written by Joan Wheeler, published by Trafford Publications has been pulled from their selling markets. The book is unavailable and no further copies of it in it’s present form will be printed. The book was pulled by the publisher after several months of investigating the documented proof sent to them by the birth family. The pulling of the book proves that what the birth sisters have been saying, that the book is full of lies and hate, is correct.

Gert here…I’m glad that Lori has kept my comment up as many others have as well. Perhaps some day Joan will get on with life and stop being so angry and hateful, but that doesn’t seem to be the case. In 2015 she self-published another VERSION of her lying book and so we have to continue exposing her lies. Please do check out the new blog and facebook page.

end

 

Joan Wheeler drags me into her f’ed up love life – then bitches about me being in her life. uh, what?

always good to remember the behaviors

Refuting a Book of Lies: Forbidden Family --

oh brother – here we go again. Despite Joan Wheeler’s lamentations and bitching that we, her birth sisters “interfere” with her life, she keeps dragging us INTO her life.

SEE UPDATE INFO AT END OF THIS POST

In the wee hours of December 26, 2013, – 1:00am to be precise, Joan was on Twitter, going off on her ex-boyfriend. Apparently her website’s locale spotter showed a hit from New Mexico. Where the ex lives. So? It’s the public internet – Joan has a website for the purpose of people reading it. If the ex wants to read her website/blog – well, it’s a damn free country.

So Joan is accusing him of stalking her and she tweets that he should leave her alone, she’s now afraid of him, he is a bad person, she stuck by him when he was in jail, blah blah blah.

THEN she drags US into…

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Joan Wheeler can now see 2400 miles and “know” what people are watching on their TVs. OMG!

always good to remember the behaviors

Refuting a Book of Lies: Forbidden Family --

Joan Wheeler is overthinking, imagining and speculating again.

I blogged about this stupid behavior of Joan’s before on November 10, 2013 in this post “Overthinking, imagining, speculating, fantasizing – then reporting those erroneous thoughts as fact – this is what Joan Wheeler does on a daily basis”   I am reprinting it here in its entirety, because she did it again the other day on twitter.

SEE UPDATED INFO ON END OF THIS POST

She was ranting and raving about her ex-boyfriend. Apparently she found a hit on her website that came from New Mexico and she made an ass of herself because she ASSumed something again. Now, she may be right that the boyfriend or a member of his family went to her blog. There is no actual way of knowing. 

But she doesn’t stop there – in her ranting, she says that she “KNOWS” he is watching the…

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Joan Wheeler goes from manic state to depressive state awful fast over her latest FAILED romance.

always good to remember….

Refuting a Book of Lies: Forbidden Family --

Joan Wheeler goes from manic state to depressive state awful fast over her latest FAILED romance. – all information and quotes are from what Joan Wheeler herself has put out on public internet for all to see. remember – if you don’t want people to read it – don’t put it on the internet.

SEE END OF THIS POST FOR UPDATED INFO

In a mess that SHE herself created, Joan first rants and raves about a guy she met at a bar back in June 2013. Within two weeks, marriage plans are made. What stupid idiot meets a guy and within two weeks makes plans to marry this total stranger? Joan Wheeler, that’s who. So she goes to New Mexico with the guy in August and the truth comes out. He’s an alcoholic (so is Joan, but she won’t say so in conjuction with this stuff – but did admit…

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#JoanMWheeler was ‘spared from living in an American orphanage’! Her siblings were NOT as lucky. #flipthescript

That’s correct a year AFTER she was placed into adoption, due to death of mother, five children (4 birth-children and 1 step-child) were placed in orphan and foster homes due to illness of step-mother. Joan NEVER tells the truth and leaves MUCH vital information OUT. Joan rarely tells about the second marriage of our father and how that second wife REFUSED to take and raise the infant (Joan). There was NO other option but to place the infant (Joan) into adoption. There was NO family to KEEP her in. Our father said, if he could not raise her, NO ONE in the family would!

Her placement in adoption had NOTHING to do with the church or what a priest said or didn’t say. Sure our father sought out advice but the bottom line is; the second wife REFUSED the infant! Joan can NOT accept the fact that our father’s second wife REFUSED to take her!

Joan HATES the Catholic Church and she will take whatever opportunity that comes to her to blame them. She also LOVES melodramatics! She is always on the look-out for any opportunity to pour out those false tears and sentiment.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/frank-ligtvoet/if-god-could-only-calcula_b_6596158.html

Joan M Wheeler   · February 10 at 5:30pm

Weeping as I read this. I can’t thank you enough for saying what needs to be said.
I hope that all Christians who want to save an orphan will read this and see the light.
I, as a half orphan, was spared from living in an American orphanage, but not from adoption. My mother died when I was three months old. My father had four older children to take care of and the priest said “the baby needs two parents”. My very religious father gave away his fifth child because he thought he had to. Catholic Charities did not come to him to help him keep his family together. No, the Catholic priest would rather see the baby go to two strangers to adopt than to promote family preservation. This was in 1956 when adoption was becoming popular.

However, many years previously, when my adoptive mother was two years old, her mother died of the Spanish Flu in 1918. Her father had to go to work so he housed his four children in an orphanage and paid for their keep. He told the nuns: “Not a single one of my children will be adopted out.” He visited his children every Sunday.

I applaud the work of the people you mention in this article – the work of an orphanage is to house children until they can be returned to their parents or extended family. Adoption is not necessary at all.

Gert here again…what happens in one family doesn’t necessary mean that it will work in another family! It’s like comparing apples and oranges; both are fruit but very different kinds of fruit. Joan has never learned the basics or that the ‘future’ can NOT be determined.

Everyone MUST make decisions on the spot with conditions of that moment…no one has a crystal ball that will tell them what will happen in the future. For Joan to insist that our father was duped or worst by the church or any of their organizations is JUST one small segment of her own OPINION and has NO VALUE in the reality of the situation.

Her comment Adoption is not necessary at all was also noted by another individual on the thread as NOT a true reality. Joan doesn’t care about that! All Joan wants is to rid the world of adoption!

Well I hate to tell her…that’s NEVER going to happen!

UPDATE JANUARY 2016 here are links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate of Joan M Wheeler as she just self-published another revision of that book, now called DUPED BY ADOPTION

https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/

https://www.facebook.com/dupedbyadoption1

AND in this new revised edition of her garbage she insists that I, Gert, lived in an orphan home, has we leaving to get married, has all kinds of MISREPRESENTATIONS of each and every PERSON of two families. She labels ‘her story’ as truth, it is NOT!

end

What does Joan M Wheeler do on the eve of her 60th birthday?

duped by adoption, a book study

Celebrate? Relax? Be with friends? Contemplate? Of course not! We know that she had a lousy Christmas, so her birthday must have been a great one?! Not!

No she searches the Internet looking for something to blow her stack over…and she found one.

In the following news story, she browbeats people over the evils of ADOPTION! She uses her ‘mantra’ that ONLY THE USE OF GUARDIANSHIP is acceptable! Her drum beat is… adoption is legal identity theft! On and on and on and on…keeping this up, her life span is very limited! She has NO LIFE in her LIFE. All she has is her constant refrain…the evils of adoption! (Joan is ‘adopteefedup’ on yahoo)

I saw the following January 7, 2016, comments speak for themselves, the time noted are when I captured and commented on the post.

https://www.yahoo.com/parenting/in-praise-of-duck-dynasty-clans-adoption-of-teen-184101404.html?soc_src=social-sh&soc_trk=fb

adopteefedup 20 hours ago

I’m sorry, Adam. I’ve learned a lot from…

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Joan M Wheeler has just reached a significant birth date; #60

duped by adoption, a book study

Happy Birthday Joan! How many more years are you going to waste on hate and anger?

I’ve lived long enough now to know that there are several ‘significant’ birthdates; 30, 50, 60 and…

Well I can NOT project beyond 60 as I am still IN my 60s; not for long… but still…

I made several significant life-changes in my 50s. The best thing I ever did for myself was to do yoga. After 5 years of general yoga, in 2003, age 56, I began my journey into Ashtanga yoga and my life has NOT been the same since! On the eve of my 70s I am physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually more than I have ever been in my life! And I’m not done yet! My partner,  76, is a 3rd degree Black Belt! Continuing on, by the time he is 80 he will have what Willy Nelson has…

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Current list of blog posts related to reviews about DUPED BY ADOPTION

duped by adoption, a book study

As a member of the ‘birth family’, my life, my children’s lives, my entire family’s lives, along with the lives of the adopted parents family, mostly the MOTHER, have been maligned in this revisited (revised over and over again) by one, Joan M Wheeler, hater of adoption, her two families and ANYONE who is in the least bit pro-adoption.

None of us, which are WRITTEN about in this garbage book, were given prior knowledge that OUR lives would be written about, we had NO input into the contents of the bookS (plural books), we gave NO permission for our lives to be discussed, slandered and libeled, and fabricated like a soap opera!

And so…we do what we have been doing and must do…write blog posts exposing the dirty deeds of Joan M Wheeler.

At this time, 6 January 2016, there are 11 reviews, with several comments, and blog posts that…

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Joan M Wheeler’s attempts at rehabilitating her propaganda boilerplate materials on Amazon

duped by adoption, a book study

Boy do I have power or what?! 

I find it so interesting to note that Joan DOES bow down to my evaluation of her writings! Because of MY criticisms and exposure of her hate, anger and mistruths, she HAD to do major rewrites on Amazon. Gosh she might learn something after all, and, readers will see just what ‘is’ behind that curtain of Joan Wheeler’s agenda!

Here is what I placed on the Amazon discussion topic regarding her rewrites.

A new discussion topic

changes in what’s in the book, about the author and bio sections

Your initial post: Jan 2, 2016 1:18:44 PM PST
gert mcqueen says:

I’ve notice that as of Jan 2016, the author has changed the About the Author, what’s in the book, and the Biography segments here on Amazon. I guess an author has the right to do so, but, doing so makes it look…

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No doubt about it, Joan M Wheeler’s latest revision, of Forbidden Family, Duped by Adoption, is ‘an eye-opening’ book! She is her own worst enemy and she doesn’t even know it! Review # 9

NEW BLOG POST REVIEW # 9

duped by adoption, a book study

An eye-opening book…

Too bad, that most of those that read it, and/or review it, are BLIND to the fact that the book is pure BULLSHIT. The reason they are BLIND? They have been DUPED, by Joan, into believing Joan’s BULLSHIT. There is nothing in this revision that helps the cause, of reforming adoption laws, to give adoptees access to their birth/medical records. Joan doesn’t give a shit about reform; she deleted four chapters that had any information that could be of use for reform. Joan is not a reformist. She is an abolitionist! She will slant/fabricate anything to prove her points. She knows that most ‘non-thinking’ people will NOT question her because she is so GOOD at the art of deception.

Joan M Wheeler should not be believed! She has even ‘revised’ the TRUTH, from the first edition to the second edition! How can anyone believe what she writes…

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