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common issues in adoptees…according to Joan Wheeler

by on August 17, 2011
 The question, was asked, on the adult adoptee forum, and Joan Wheeler, as 1adoptee, tells us all about her ‘issues’:
 
Someone said:
I guess I was just kind of wondering if these things are common in adoptees.   – clinical suicidal depression.  (pretty sure this one is rampant) – self injury.  Really curious as to the prevalence in the adoptive community. – insomnia.  Horrible insomnia.  Not so much here lately, but in the past it was bad.  I have always been a really really light sleeper though. A pin drop wakes me up.  Been thinking and wondering if this is some sort of hypervigilance type of thing.  Always on the look out, you know? – crazy, overemotional, reactions to any perceived rejection.  This one is a given I guess.  Knew where this one was from way before the fog lifted. – anxiety… panic attacks.. the whole nine.   – dissociation during the strangest times.  Sometimes I cant even remember a conversation.   – atheism.  Don’t want to get too religious here… but I am really curious about this as I had a very powerful religious conversion from atheism in the last year. Anything else that yall have experienced?  Just kind of curious.  Maybe I just want a little validation that these things are normal.  Looking forward to your responses.
 
1adoptee said:
« Reply #1 on: August 09, 2011, 02:05:36 PM »
 
Seems like you’ve covered all the bases! Your list is pretty thorough and accurate. Did you come up with this on your own or through reading? I’ve suffered through most of these myself, except the self-injury, never was a cutter, but then, one could say that constant depression and feelings of worthlessness are a form of self harm. I don’t think being an atheist is a bad thing and certainly not to blame that on being adopted. Atheism is a valid and rational way to look at the world. What I’ve experieinced is a definate turning away from the Catholic Church in which I was born, baptized and adopted into. Too many lies and way too much hypocrisy. I don’t trust Christians of any kind. And these experiences are normal for adoptees as we go through extreem stress of being adopted…
 
Gert comments:
Notice how ‘1adoptee’ is right on this issue…she’s number one reply! And she has taken the position of an expert on the whole topic, letting the questioner and everyone else know that Joan has HEARD it all before! Self-importance. So Joan says: ‘..list is pretty thorough and accurate. Did you come up with this on your own or through reading?..’
 
It amazes me how these people are so into every negative emotion and they blame it all on BEING ADOPTED. It’s like a badge of honor with them, to be proud of it. It gives them some kind of special right to go out and do nasty stuff to birth and adoptive families. Talk about self-righteousness! Joan is an expert on doing nasty to everyone…that’s why we are finally speaking our truth, the truth and nothing but the truth!
 
 Joan says: ‘… except the self-injury, never was a cutter, but then, one could say that constant depression and feelings of worthlessness are a form of self harm.’
 
Oh but Joan ought to know first hand about cutting…her daughter was a cutter!!! Yes, Joan is very much into self-harm…if she wasn’t so into ‘her pain’ she just might have a nice day!
 
‘Joan says: ‘…Too many lies and way too much hypocrisy. I don’t trust Christians of any kind.’
 
Well can’t blame her there, but any problem with adoption or with Joan isn’t because of Christians, or their church…Joan only likes to have a scrap-goat to blame instead of fixing her own life. It’s easier to wallow in self-pity than to get up, brush yourself off and get a f…king life!
 
Joan says: ‘…these experiences are normal for adoptees as we go through extreem stress of being adopted’
 
Great wisdoms come out of her mouth! Stress because you are adopted? No the stress comes from being filled with hate and anger at the entire world and that you, Joan, took your hate and anger out on your adoptive and birth families…place the blame where it belongs…on your own shoulders…Joan.
 
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One Comment
  1. The OTHER Lilac permalink

    I don’t know, the pain of being abandoned by your mother is pretty severe. Haven’t any of you ever read The Primal Wound. It’s practically a biological betrayal, worse than your own immune system turning on you. Damn LOVE! It’s all about survival.

    I see that grasping in my own children, at every age. There’s know denying that the natural order is to cling babies and children to their parents. All else is inhumane. We’re adaptable, but we have no control over how our brains and nervous systems apply that new knowledge. It’s in the cells, the loss of your original oneness.

    ADOPTION REFORM NOW!!!! Great cause.

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