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Where is the love?

by on August 29, 2011
 Where is the love?
 you said were ours, till the end of time, where is the love?
It depends on your point of view….I guess
On the Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change forum we see their point of view…they don’t want to see the love, they are too much into their hate and rage.  
 Title: Re: its my gotcha day
Post by: 1adoptee on November 01, 2010, 01:09:47 PM

Lillie  :hug2:
It wasn’t called Gotcha Day for me, at least not by the large numbers who celebrate it today. But my amom always talked about “that happened before we got you” and “that was after we got you”. I didn’t like the sound of that at all while I was growing up.Tossed aside for someone else to pick up….Cry all you want to today.
 Gert comments here:
My god!
It’s too bad that these adoptees can’t see the love and care that they have received by people who WANTED them. Joan ‘didn’t like the sound’ of being told ‘before we got you’ and ‘after we got you’! Why? No I don’t understand it! But what I do understand is that these adoptees are incapable of seeing and feeling LOVE.
Personally, I am always glad when I KNOW that my existence is APPRECIATED by those around me who say to me ‘before I got you’ in my life I wasn’t complete, or, ‘after I got you’ my life felt whole. It’s called basic appreciation of the other person/people in one’s life.
If Joan’s adopted parents didn’t know how to communicate that to Joan that is too bad. Sorry if that’s the case, but it shouldn’t stop an ADULT from seeing and learning about ‘where is the love’. Joan, in all her wisdom and years of an education, can’t seem to ‘see beyond’ the words to the basic meanings and sentiment and be grateful. Oh dear, I forgot for a second; these adoptees don’t like the word or concept of gratitude. And that is where the whole problem comes into play. They can’t see the love because they are not grateful for their human life and for the people who cared for them. They can only see their self-pity and hate.
Joan says about herself that she was ‘Tossed aside for someone else to pick up’! Actually, she wasn’t! It is only in her head! Joan was not tossed aside…but…no amount of explaining things will ever matter to her. Joan has made up her mind and nothing shall ever change that and so she loses! And that is WHY she has never been able to have good healthy relationships with both the birth and adoptive families or others because she REFUSES to accept reality and the love. Where is the love….where Joan put it, in the mud and dirt of her diseased mind.
 So Joan’s advise is to “Cry all you want to today.” That’s right, wallow in your self-pity because by doing so you don’t have to take responsibility for anything…including love! 
  1. Lisa permalink

    I came to your site some how when reading about the adoption reform movement and encountering the negativity of your sister and others on forums. I am so glad I did. This post is so true. Life is what you make of it. It is how you learn to deal with difficult times that gets you through it.
    Was her life perfect? .No, in a perfect world your mother would not have died. Life is not perfect. She is an angry, bitter miserable person who needs to play the role of victim in order to make herself feel good. She found a way to get attention and is enjoying her 5 minutes of fame (although you took some of her fame away by having the book pulled). Any one who finds out the true story of Joan knows she doesn’t need a birth certificate she needs a therapist.

    Bravo to the Sippel sisters for seeing through the lies and posting about it. Bigger Bravo for the Sippel sisters who did not let their imperfect life fill them with hate and turn them into victims like her sister Joan.

  2. Lisa permalink

    Sorry this post is similar to my last. I just read your reply to my last comment. Every time I encounter a comment made by Joan she makes it sound like she is fighting for a birth certificate that she is entitled to it. I forgot I read on your site that she already has that birth certificate. You would think she would prefer mending the fences with the family since she often states that she should not have been taken away from her father and her sisters. Instead she prefers the attention she gets with all her negativity and hate.
    There are good and bad psychologist (as there are in all professions). There are psychologists with different schools of training and thoughts (different philosophies).My daughter (psychologist) says when a person doesn’t change or get the help she needs when going to therapy it is because the client doesn’t want it or isn’t ready for it, has the wrong therapist for her or just a bad therapist. A person who doesn’t want to change or is not ready for change a therapist will say one thing but the client will hear it the way she wants to hear it to fit her needs. It seems Joan is just wasting her money. Going to a therapist for 30 years it is obvious Joan only hears what she wants to hear …. “Poor Joan”. She is just wasting her life.

    • you hit the nail on the head Lisa. “Poor Joan” is what she wants to hear. Because it is ALWAYS about Joan. JOAN’S losing her mother. JOAN having a woman who raised her who was a bit nutty. JOAN having a bad marriage. JOAN JOAN JOAN JOAN JOAN!!!!
      With all the self-pity she couldn’t stomach ANY body disagreeing with her – because only JOAN knows what is wrong with the world and how to correct it. And if you go against her – she will make you pay, and pay dearly. Hence the soap opera schemes.- Ruth dared to defy Joan – Ruth must pay – hence the railroading me in court, the calls to my job to get me fired, the letter saying my husband got another woman pregnant, along with many other things Joan did.

      I bet she never told her therapist that she did those things. The only thing she tells her therapist is how Ruth sends her letters. Yeah – I did send her letters – TELLING HER TO STOP BOTHERING ME. And I still have some of them a couple of them the originals,where I sent the copy to Joan, and a couple are the copies that I saved for my record keeping – and they will be posted on my blog.

      oh to see my facebook page, just click on my name. ok – NOW I really must leave – I had gone over to facebook and got involved with it. I have way too much time on my hands – NOT! – hee hee!

  3. well said Lisa.
    Now some people might read our blogs and see us putting Joan down and judge us as being filled with hate. And there might be a modicum of truth there – I will admit that there is some hate in me for Joan. HOWEVER, it does not define my life. I am going to sign this comment using my facebook account. Any readers wanting to see Ruth’s life is welcome to go there and check me out. I have a full rich life with many many interests. And a lot of interesting friends, family and penpals.

    My life does not revolve around this blog, or Joan. Yes, it seems as though I have invested a lot of time in my blog. But the bottome line is: IT’S MY TIME, NOT YOURS. For those who come here and make that statement “you spend a lot of time on this.” — is it your business how I spend my time and life? I got news for y’all – it’s called “structured time management.” I have a job that requires me to work 12 hour shifts, which in turn gives me more days off per week. If you’re organized, you can get a lot of stuff done.

    In addition to my job and taking care of my husband and house and cat, I have been busy digitizing my music collection – organizing my huge collection of vinyl records, cassettesand even some 8 tracks. So far, I have about 750 albums on my external portable hard drive. I’m also scanning my photo albums into the computer, as well as my husband’s family photos. Also archiving my Star Trek scrapbook – that’s 45 years worth of collecting newspaper and magazine articles, photos, letters, short stories, fanzines. Speaking of Trek, I also head up a local Trek fan club and publish a newsletter for it. I am a busy person. I have many interests.

    Joan has only one interest , well actually two. Those being: adoption (anti) and HERSELF. Her facebook page, which she has as private, but I was able to see her list of friends – is quite pitiful. All her friends are all involved in (anti) adoption. IS THERE NOTHING ELSE IN THE WORLD THAT INTERESTS THIS WOMAN?

    Now getting back to my purported hatred of Joan. I had suffered many hurts from Joan due to her disrespect of me, outright lies, theft, and harrassing soap opera schemes. I was very angry for years and let it all go. I was willing in 2003 to reconnect with her via a website. But true to her nature, Joan kills every relationship that she has. In January 2004, she sent me an email wondering about a photo that I moved from one file to another. The email started out okay, but as she wrote, she got increasingly hostile and accusatory. She ended the email accusing me and my best friend of starting the fight with her again. ?????? First, my friend had NOTHING to do with the website, which was for the purpose of posting family photographs on the internet for all family members to see and share. I wasn’t “fighting” when I moved her photo from one file to another. I saw the disrespectfulness in her accusatory email and was not willing to play Joan’s doormat any further and booted her off the website. From 2004 – 2009, I had NO CONTACT WITH HER AND MY LIFE WAS PEACEFUL.

    On November 3, 2009, I did call Joan to inform her that a family member had died, whereupon Joan began screaming abuse and obscenities at me over the phone. I AM A HUMAN BEING AND DO NOT DESERVE TO BE TREATED LIKE DIRT THE WAY SHE DID. I sent her daughter (a myspace pal of mine) an email via myspace to explain that I did not call Joan to make trouble, and that I was sorry for upsetting her. I said in my email that Joan was my baby sister and I loved her. (I posted that entire email exchange on my blog).

    A couple of weeks later, in November, 2009, her book came out and that peace ended. That filthy book only thinly veiled my identity,and she left plenty of clues for my real name to be found, had in public, in PUBLICATION, false statements about my character, stating that I have a criminal record, and lie upon lie about me. If I had money for a lawyer, if Joan had anything worthwhile for me sue for, YOU BETTER BELIEVE I’D HAVE THAT PISSPOT IN COURT SO DAM FAST IT WOULD MAKE YOUR HEAD SPIN. – any lawyer will tell you that falsely publishing lies that is called SLANDER AND LIBEL. And it was for this that her filthy book got pulled from publication – and we didn’t have to pay for a lawyer to do it – all I did was send ACTUAL BUFFALO CITY COURT DOCUMENTS to the publisher, cited the page numbers, and quoted Joan’s words in the book – and TRAFFORD PUBLICATIONS pulled the book.

    ANY LOVE I HAD FOR JOAN UP TO THAT POINT DIED WHEN I READ THAT BOOK. And Joan continues to lie about me and my sisters with that filthy cyberbullying page.

    So Susan, or any other idiotic adoptee/puppet of Joan – if you’re pissed off because Joan’s book got pulled, go complain to the publisher, not me. Because JOAN BROKE THE LAW. end of story.

    By lying about me in other areas of my life: JOAN BROKE MY HEART, FOR THE LAST TIME. SHE IS DEAD TO ME. Now she gets buried,and her book too. – we got a good blogpost coming up soon that will knock your socks off! Get ready for it – it’s a doozy!

    Excuse me now, I must go do my workout, then I have some housework to do, and a wedding to prepare for this Saturday. I need a pedicure, get my outfit ready, make sure my shoes are ok, get my hubby’s outfit ready, run out to send a fax to my employer’s corporate employee health department, and I’ll also have time to watch one of the DVD’s I bought the other day. – Structured Time Managment,” – when you learn how to do it, you can get a lot done.But you also can be flexible too.

Trackbacks & Pingbacks

  1. Interesting posts regarding Joan Wheeler « Refuting a Book of Lies: Forbidden Family –
  2. recent comments « Reclaiming the Sippel-Herr Family Honor

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