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by on September 1, 2011

There have been some recents comments that deserve be seen in their own rights and not be buried within the various comments of several posts. Of course I am not able to include every comment here but for sake of recognition and validation here they are.

Please remember…that we welcome your comments and your support. We want to acknowledge you.
While we all have opinions and strong feelings regarding adoption issues, as they have effected our lives, we here, on the refuting and reclaiming blogs, are not into any form of debate over adoption reform.  Our focus is to REFUTE the lies told about ourselves and our families and to RECLAIM our personal and family honor from ONE ADOPTEE who stole it from us!
We would like to support your own efforts into gaining the strength and insights into how you may address your own on-going issues with those in your own lives. It is NOT an easy thing to confront someone who has caused us harm. It is NOT easy to find the ways and means to handle so many emotional issues that are only compounded by thoughtless self-centered individuals within our own families. So please…if you gain anything from our blogs…let that HELP you in your struggles to regain the peace and honor in yourself. We can never change the other person…but…we can change ourselves and sometimes…change means…we must speak out.
Comments by Lisa on post  Where is the love?
I came to your site some how when reading about the adoption reform movement and encountering the negativity of your sister and others on forums. I am so glad I did. This post is so true. Life is what you make of it. It is how you learn to deal with difficult times that gets you through it.
Was her life perfect? .No, in a perfect world your mother would not have died. Life is not perfect. She is an angry, bitter miserable person who needs to play the role of victim in order to make herself feel good. She found a way to get attention and is enjoying her 5 minutes of fame (although you took some of her fame away by having the book pulled). Any one who finds out the true story of Joan knows she doesn’t need a birth certificate she needs a therapist.

Bravo to the Sippel sisters for seeing through the lies and posting about it. Bigger Bravo for the Sippel sisters who did not let their imperfect life fill them with hate and turn them into victims like her sister Joan

From Gert…thank you Lisa…you point out a couple of interesting things…if ANYONE has been the subject of a book, by a family member, be it in fiction or non-fiction, you too CAN HAVE IT REMOVED. Go to the publisher, do your research, and talk with the publisher…court ISN’T the only way and place to get justice.

comment by Lisa

Sorry this post is similar to my last. I just read your reply to my last comment. Every time I encounter a comment made by Joan she makes it sound like she is fighting for a birth certificate that she is entitled to it. I forgot I read on your site that she already has that birth certificate. You would think she would prefer mending the fences with the family since she often states that she should not have been taken away from her father and her sisters. Instead she prefers the attention she gets with all her negativity and hate.
There are good and bad psychologist (as there are in all professions). There are psychologists with different schools of training and thoughts (different philosophies).My daughter (psychologist) says when a person doesn’t change or get the help she needs when going to therapy it is because the client doesn’t want it or isn’t ready for it, has the wrong therapist for her or just a bad therapist. A person who doesn’t want to change or is not ready for change a therapist will say one thing but the client will hear it the way she wants to hear it to fit her needs. It seems Joan is just wasting her money. Going to a therapist for 30 years it is obvious Joan only hears what she wants to hear …. “Poor Joan”. She is just wasting her life.

From Gert…You have some good insights here. Having a therapist ISN’T always the way to go…Joan has been going all her life and is convinced by all the adoption psycho-babble and self-diagonosis that she can’t find her way out to reality. Most therapists are making money off Joan and are not interested in getting her healthy. Joan is in love with her own ‘victim-hood’.

 Comment by The OTHER Lilac  on The Hypocrisy of Adoptees – Susan Thompson Underdahl needs to get her own shit together before daring to lecture us!

Holy shit, I’m starting to feel sorry for Joan. Haven’t read her book, but now that it’s out of print, WHAT A STORY! You guys should be interviewed by ADOPTION AWARENESS magazines everywhere. Doesn’t all have happy endings, people.

But back to Daisy. I’m so glad you took it upon yourselves to dissect that interview I’d never had a chance to listen to (wasn’t told about it). I learned alot about Daisy’s position with regards to our family’s “patterns”. You know, our “tendency” to get into massive arguments and not speak to each other for years. But then, reconnect somehow.

Seen it in my mother and my grandmother, didn’t particularly plan on adopting that philosophy into MY life. Not with SIX CHILDREN to raise, in a healthy, wholesome intact-family environment. Never plan on divorcin’. Love my husband too much, who happens to validate MY sanity and loving heart as well. Good guy, he is.

Anyway, and lastly for fear of getting a REPUTATION printed up and put in a book somewhere FOR SALE ON SHELVES, and then believed by all the author’s family. No, I did not ever feel my IDENTITY threatened by my new “oldes sister”. I actually thought of her more as an EXTENDED sister, having grown up sandwiched between two brothers, I always felt it was my oldest brother CHYRSANTHEMUM who was king. Yup, he beat me up enough to teach me that.

From Gert….thank you Lilac…I wouldn’t waste any emotion on Joan, or Susan, …she made her bed and she can lay in it…she was the one who wrote the lies and stole reputations and honor! I would suggest that if you are a ‘person’ in someone else’s book, to go the publisher with your evidence. No one has the write to tell someone else’s life, according to ‘their view’!

So…Daisy is Susan…how fascinating!

The OTHER Lilac comments on Weak Stupid Minds Think Alike – Joan Wheeler the Master Manipulator has found another willing puppet.

What a disaster! Having been in exactly the same position, I happen to be a “main character” in Daisy’s book…yes, the BIRTH SISTER. And it’s not that I haven’t exactly forgiven her for ignoring me all throughout the 10 plus years I lived in her small town (getting to know her), failing to include me in any of the raising of her children (for fear of ADOPTIVE MOTHER finding out I existed, through accidental mutterings of innocent grandchildren)…um, yeah. This situation is tragic, though somewhat expected in those crazy reunion with your REAL FAMILY adoption situations.

She is a little overly-analytical, and dry in her humor, if not somewhat cold hearted and unsympathetic (has to do with being ABANDONED by our/her/my mother. Whatever.

Anyway, just want you to know your emotions are VALIDATED. That you are not alone though this subjected IS under-written about by all members of the TRIAD, and none of us should expect ANY OF IT to go smoothly, even THIS MANY YEARS LATER. Yup, working on TWENTY YEARS of “how is this supposed to work again?”

From Gert….  So Lilac is the “main character” in Daisy’s book…yes, the BIRTH SISTER…how fascinating! Sounds like Susan did the same kind of things to you and others that Joan did to us…basic two-faced, back-stabbing, for the sake of ‘writing’ the story! People that use other people are worst that shit!

Thank you Lilac for acknowledging our emotions and  reminding us that there are others out there that are having simular horror stories. Stay strong in yourself and don’t let the other guy get to you! Remember that ‘they’ like to tell you want is wrong with you yet they never look at themselves.

thank you both…


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  1. The OTHER Lilac permalink

    And what you said about a licensed psychologist suggesting you need psychiatric help, without a clinical exam. Unprofessional and yes, ethically questionable. Actually, quite bullying and aimed to intimidate. Very familiar with that behavior.

    There are blind spots in these adoptees zones of self-awareness. Also, the suggestion that “if you were secure in yourself” you’d be able to say “that’s her opinion” and move on…

    if only it were a problem of low self-esteem. Daisy’s book, to me, was like psychological warfare. Her claim to understand MY POINT OF VIEW, and to write the entire book from that supposed point of view. Without ever even telling me the book was in production.

    So like, surprise!

  2. Lilac,
    I don’t have time right now to answer your comments. I have a wedding to go to on Saturday and much to do before then. I know that Gert has answered some of yours and Lisa’s thoughts..
    but I do want to take this time to thank you for coming here and offering your support. I only hope that we have offered you some support as well.

    I think what I’ll do is make a whole blog post to address your comments, and a couple of other things. but as I said, I don’t have time.

    Because I DO have a life. I may spend time on blogging, but that is MY time, MY life, and it is not for anyone to pass judgment on how I spend my time and my life. If someone has the time and the stupidity to wring their hands over Ruth Sippel Pace’s life, they seriously need to get a grip – and get a life of their own.

  3. The OTHER Lilac permalink

    Your strong stance in your right to have that voice, it’s inspiring. Have fun at the wedding!

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