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Joan Wheeler – the Good Mother?

by on September 12, 2011

In Gert’s post Joan Wheeler answers a deep question of life…  Gert gives her views on how Joan writes a comment on the adoptee forum about her children, but we know in real life, Joan did not speak the truth. (does Joan EVER speak the truth?). I would like to add my own observations on Joan as a mother.

Oh, yes, Joan’s children were very dear to her. That’s why she used them as pawns in her “war” against me. In my last post, Joan Wheeler spins a tale of deceipt and gets all tangled up in a web of her own making.- – I detail the events of 1993 which involved Joan receiving annoyance calls that apparently she had been receiving. Beginning in February 1993, she had the phone company’s Annoyance Call Bureau place a tracetrap on her line to see where the calls coming from. I said in that post that in the spring of 1993, greeting cards began coming to my house. These cards were addressed to me, but inside were Valentine’s cards, Easter cards, Father’s Day cards – to a “special uncle.” – Last time I looked, I was female, so why was I getting these cards? These cards, were actually signed by Joan’s children – but all said, Uncle JOHN. The cards were for my fiance, (now husband), but the envelopes were addressed to me! In June 1993, a letter came to my house, again the envelope was addressed to me, but inside was a letter to John, and signed “Dennis.”
   So I called Joan to see WHY all these greeting cards, and now a letter, comes for JOHN but the envelope is addressed to RUTH (and Joan played this same game later on – in 1998 – when Joan wrote a letter to Gert (concerning an old acquantance of Gert, who happened to bump into Joan’s ex-husband in South Carolina, and the acquantaince was bad-mouthing Gert) So Joan wanted to tell Gert about it. So what does she do? She writes a letter that says “Dear Gert.” But the envelope was addressed to Ruth Sippel and John Pace. And it was certified! Does she write on the envelope “Gert McQueen, care of Ruth Sippel?” or include a little note to Ruth saying, “please give this to Gert.”? or better still, ask our father to send Gert a letter? Just what does Ruth and John have to do with some nutball who used to know Gert and bumped into Joan’s ex-husband in South Carolina? NOTHING! But Joan keeps whining about how her Three Birth Sisters keep harassing her – writing letters to her, bothering her – but then she doesn’t tell anyone about how SHE bothered me, and John, with her stupid letter writing games.
    So in June 1993, when I received the letter from her son Dennis to my fiance John, in an envelope addressed to me, I called her on the phone. “Just a minute,” she says. And hangs up on me. I thought we were disconnected. I called back, she says and does the same thing. What? I call back, and the same thing happened. Fuck you, I though, I don’t have time to play these stupid games. I put the letter away in the box where I was putting ALL the harassing letters that I received from Joan – and in good time, I will post them ALL on my blog.
   Well, because Joan managed to get THREE “hangup” calls from me in one setting, the evil bitch hauled me into court for annoyance calls. The truth is quite clear: the reason she had been sending greeting cards and now a letter from her son, all for John, but in envelopes addressed to Ruth – was that she was baiting me – wanting me to call her – she was setting me up. Just like she called child abuse on herself, in December 1994, giving out MY name, and saying that my fiance John was abusing her children. She was setting me up – she wanted me in jail – she wanted me to lose my job – she kept calling my job, from September 1994 to early 1995 trying to get me fired!
    When I was SUMMONED into court in 1993, (NOT arrested, as she says in the book), I realized what those greeting cards meant – it was not for Joan’s children to be nice to their Uncle John, but to play games with and bait their Aunt Ruth with. And when I got that summons in the mail, I went to John’s rec room, grabbed the damn cards and ripped them to shreds. Thank goodness I didn’t rip up the letter that Joan’s son Dennis wrote, because it is the PROOF that Joan USED HER OWN VERY DEAR CHILDREN AS PAWNS! The letter is not written by Dennis after all – but forged – BY JOAN! I found a snippet of Joan’s handwriting, and she writes very oddly – half in scipt, half in print. Well, I cut that snippet out and pasted it to the body of “Dennis'” letter – and oh my! – It is very telling indeed! The f’s, t’s, e’s, a’s, r’s are all the same in both letters. And if Dennis had written the letter – he would have addressed it “Dear UNCLE John.” But look very closely where it says “Dear John,” The J in John was started, crossed out and done again – look at the original J – it is identical to Joan’s writing snippet where she writes the name “Johnny Mac.” (under the name Dennis). – see for yourself – it’s right below. Oh by the way – my husband John never received greeting cards from either Joan or her children BEFORE or AFTER the spring of 1993. 

Oh, Joan is indeed, a very loving mother – no, she is a bitch mother. When she was pregnant with Dennis, she was bitching and moaning that now she would have to learn nutrition! – um, no, just get advice from your pediatrician on what to feed your kid. Then she was whining that her kid might have the “Sippel nose.”

In the early 90’s, John witnessed an act of abuse by Joan. She slapped Dennis right across the face so hard she left a clear red imprint of her hand. Dennis stood there in shock. John told Joan to stop, checked on Dennis, Dennis stood there with his hands balled into fists and stood there to regain control. – Obviously he had been hit before and was trying not to goad his abuser to hit him again. I didn’t know about this until years later. And if I had heard about it – I WOULD HAVE CALLED CHILD ABUSE ON JOAN AND WOULD DEFINITELY LEAVE MY NAME AND BE DAMN PROUD OF IT!

Oh, for someone who didn’t have a job, and she says she was a stay-at-home-mom — why were her kids in Day camp all summer long? – So Joan wouldn’t have to be bothered with them while she was a stay-at-home-writer. No, STAY-AT-HOME-HARASSER is the correct term. How does someone with two little kids have so much time to be writing so many annoyance letters to Ruth, to Gail, get into trouble with Ruth, with Gail, with Raymond, with Bonnie, with John’s mother, be on the phone almost everyday for six months calling Buffalo General Hospital to get one of their employees fired, writing stupid letters to the mayor of Buffalo, writing letter after letter to the newspaper? I’ll tell you how – SHE DIDN’T TAKE CARE OF THEM! She even documents in her book that in the early 2000’s,she was in such an alcoholic haze that she didn’t cook dinner, didn’t even wash her own hair for days!

And yes, she writes in her book that her son did yell at her “I have no memories of my childhood. I hate you.”

And Joan is so proud of it – she puts in her book for the whole world to see. And now I have told the whole world what I saw – an abusive, control freak who never cherished her children.

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