Harassing letter from Joan Wheeler to Ruth Sippel Pace in May 1998
In Gert’s post I admit it! I lied about not writing a letter and making a phone call to JoanWheeler! Gert references a letter that Joan wrote to me in May 1998. I am posting that letter here, in full.
SEE END OF POST FOR UPDATE INFO
But first, let’s back up. After the child abuse call of Dec. 22, 1994 – wherein supposedly a woman called child abuse on Joan, identified herself as me, and said that my fiance John Pace and Joan were sexually abusing Joan’s kids – the actions were thus: Dec. 31, 1994, Joan writes to Albany NY saying that it was ME who made the call, told them I was convicted of telephone harassment in 1993 and was placed on probation (wrong, I was NOT placed on probation. Joan is lying to New York State officials); in January and February 1995, Joan writes letters to several elected officials in Buffalo, accusing me of the child abuse call. Also, since the fall of 1994, she has been calling my place of employment, accusing me hacking into her medical records. In February 1995, I had a meeting with several hospital officials – they told me not to worry, I was proved innocent, people in the hospital were advised to hang up when Joan called.
Joan then made photocopies of the letters she was distributing to elected officials and sent me the copies. I took the copies to the District Attorney and filed harassment charges against Joan. When Joan was served the summons in March 1995, she wrote letters to my fiance and my future mother in law, telling them to work on me to drop the charges and John should leave me. In April and May, we went 3 times in front of Judge Margaret Anderson, who dismissed the charges. (3 times,- 3 afternoons, approximately 15 minutes in front of the judge each time, for a total of about 45 minutes in front of the judge – but Joan twists this in the book, saying she took me to court and we had 3 months of court battles). When the judge dismissed a blatant case of stalking and harassment, I called a police detective who told me to go back to the district attorney, I then spoke to an assistant DA, Carol. She reamed me out – “we have better things to do than stop two sisters from fighting.” She made me promise NOT to contact Joan. I promised her, as long as she told Joan the same thing. Apparently she did, because from May 1995 – May 1998 – there was no contact until out of the clear blue sky I received the following:
letter from Joan to Ruth + John, re: Colby + the guy May 98
Joan addresses the envelope to Ruth Sippel + John Pace, certified mail May 27,1998,note from Joan on bottom of envelope – “Important Information Enclosed Please do not discard This is serious. Enclosure to be (unclear)
I photocopied the envelope, and on the paper wrote these notes: (which were sent to Joan):
If you wanted me to send something to Gert for you, you should have addressed the envelope “Gert McQueen, c/o Ruth Sippel not John Pace and left a little note to me asking nicely to send it on to Gert.
I probably wouldn’t have anyway but it would have gone a little way in rebuilding trust. However the way you went about it shows that you can’t ever, ever be trusted. But we knew that already. Why did you drag John in on this. Get it thru your head he’s my man, not your friend. Never will be! And he’s not your kids uncle – you want a father figure for your kids? – Get off your butt and find your own man. John is taken!
Gert just called – she said a man answered your phone – Fran said she thought a man answered when she called – Obviously then you have a boy friend – you have no more use for my man. If your kids don’t like it – too bad!
And why did you hang up on Gert when she called – we thought you wanted to talk to her – obviously despite your “good wishes” expressed in your letter you are out to start trouble. Once a liar, always a liar.
THE LETTER FROM JOAN:
Monday May 25, 1998
Dear Ruth and Gert:
I heard about the letter that someone in Charlestown, South Carolina sent to Gert. The letter said that Colby Bell would be challenging her to a power duel.
Well, it just happened that my ex-husband was up in Buffalo for the holiday weekend to see his children. I wasn’t going to say anything at first, but deep down I knew I had to ask. Colby doesn’t even know who this guy is: they met only once. Colby was with his friend when this guy came up to speak with Colby’s friend. It was through introductions that this other guy said he was from Watertown. That’s when Colby mentioned that he knew his ex-wife’s sister lived there. The guy said he knew Gert and that he was part of the religion she practices. Colby did not say he was going to challenge Gert. Evidently, whoever this man is, he wants to cause trouble for Gert and for Colby.
Colby is on his way back to Charleston now. He asked me to write to you to explain his side of the story and to give you his phone number to call him collect to discuss the letter and the implications made in the letter. If possible, both he and I would like a copy of this letter. Colby wants the copy because he knows he can locate the man who wrote the letter through their common friend. Colby wants to find out from this guy face to face why he would write such a letter to someone he knows (Gert) and involve someone he doesn’t know (Colby) in a threatening situation that has a rippling effect throughout many peoples lives.
Colby and I do not want to interfere in your lives. We wish you all the best in your chosen life paths and certainly do not any harm to come to you. The past is in the past; we both want peace for the two of you and for us in our separate, but connected lives. We share the children, of course, so we are concerned that no harm comes to them. We are both aware that this letter from a man who met Colby only once was written to you, Gert,and we are deeply sorry for any pain it has caused you. We are not responsible for this man writing the letter, but we will do everything we can to find out why this stranger wrote it and to prevent any further interference in your lives.
May you both find happiness and peace in whatever it is you chose in life.
Sincerely, Your sister
um, didn’t an ASSISTANT DISTRICT ATTORNEY FROM ERIE COUNTY tell us (Ruth and Joan) NOT TO CONTACT EACH OTHER? Why then is Joan writing to me? So here is my answer to Joan:
Transcript Ruth to Joan don’t contact 5-29-98
May 29, 1998 12:30pm
I received your letter – as you surmised by my phone call. – I called not to harass you but to let you know that whatever goes on between Colby and Gert does not involve Ruth. Why did I get a letter about something I know nothing about!
By 10:00am I spoke to an assistant District Attorney and am sending this letter to you on his advice.
This letter is to formally inform you in writing that I do not wish to be contacted by you or Colby or your children by any way shape or form. I also do not wish to be contacted thru a 3rd party.
If there is any further communication from you or Colby to me or my fiancé the asst. District Attorney will go forward in charging you with harassment.
Remember, the legal definition of harassment is to annoy, alarm or frighten someone.
I am not afraid of you, but you do annoy me and I am alarmed by your stupidity in contacting me after the DA’s office told you not to 3 years ago.
In your letter you state “I wasn’t going to say anything at first, but deep down I had to ask.”
Deep down you had to start up again. Can’t you ever learn to stop!
You have alienated yourself from everyone.
No one wants anything to do with because of your own actions!
Take responsibility for own mistakes and stay out of my life!
Ruth B. Sippel
In 1999, after Joan wrote to me AGAIN, I sent her another letter, this is an excerpt of that letter, because it references this letter she sent me in May 1998:
As to who is bothering whom for 3 years after I gave my word to DA’s office not to contact you – I did call – Why? Because last May out of the clear blue sky John and I get a letter about some jerk in S. Carolina talking to Colby about Gert!
If you hadn’t sent that stupid letter you wouldn’t have gotten “yelled” at now would you? + I didn’t “yell” I said – “What goes on between Colby + Gert has nothing to do with Ruth LEAVE ME ALONE!” Why was the envelope addressed to me + John What do me or John have to do with a stranger in S. Carolina – NOTHING! And in your letter you tripped up – you start “I wasn’t going to say anything but deep down I knew I had to ask.” Then you say COLBY asked you to write – Who was it Colby or you.
and then I fired off this letter to her ex-husband Colby:
Ruth to Colby May 28, 1998
Introductory Notice: I am sending this on advice of an assistant DA – I will also send a letter to Joan – the reason – not to harass, but to give notice to both her + you that I do not want wish to (be) contacted by either you, her, or your children in any way, shape or form. Nor do I wish to be contacted thru a third party – if there is any further communication from you or Joan to either me or my fiancé, the asst DA will view that as harassment! Remember, the legal definition of harassment is to annoy, alarm or frighten someone. I’m not afraid of you or Joan but the two of you annoy me and alarm me with your stubbornness in not leaving me alone!
May 28, 1998
Enclosed is a copy of a letter your ex-wife sent me. I had a conversation with Gert over a month ago and she asked me if you had moved to S. Carolina.
I said I didn’t really know but I heard from someone in the family – I can’t even remember who told me – that you may have and I told her that it was a good possibility because I knew you mom had moved there.
She (Gert) told me about some guy who knew you – I didn’t understand all she was talking about.
I am writing to you now, because I want to make it absolutely clear that what goes on between Colby Bell + Gert McQueen has nothing to do Ruth Sippel.
I want you + your ex-wife and your children to LEAVE ME ALONE and LEAVE MY FIANCE – YES – FIANCE – ALONE! And leave my sister Gert ALONE! For 3 years I have kept the peace + altho this letter isn’t really threatening, I still do NOT WANT IT!
I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU OR HER!
On the envelope she writes “this is serious” – well what may serious to her is not serious to me except for the fact that after the ass’t DA told her to leave me alone she sends me this garbage.- She is nuts – she needs psychiatric treatment- you may also need counseling – I don’t know – I DON’T CARE – ALL I KNOW is that the 2 of you USED ME, stole my money, tried to alienate John from me -Ha Ha – We bought a house + HAVE SET OUR WEDDING DATE – AND IF YOU OR JOAN OR YOUR KIDS SHOW UP – I WILL HAVE YOU ARRESTED! (+ when John becomes my legal husband, I can then charge you + your dumb ex-wife with alienation of affection).
YOU ARE A THIEF AND A DEADBEAT. (where’s the money you owe me?) AND YOUR EX-WIFE IS A NUT!
God help those innocent kids of yours. They truly need prayers to be stuck with parents like you.
copy of this letter filed with DA.
PS. WHY IS THE LETTER ADDRESSED TO RUTH SIPPEL + JOHN PACE – John is not involved with Gert in any way –
NONE OF THIS HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH ME OR JOHN! I BELIEVE IT + SO DOES JOHN, THAT IT WAS THE TWO OF YOU WHO CALLED CHILD ABUSE ON JOAN TO IMPLICATE RUTH –
IF JOAN IS STARTING HER GARBAGE AGAIN – I WARN YOU –
I WANT IT STOPPED NOW. I AM NOT JOAN WHEELER’S SISTER – I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH HER AT ALL! I WILL SEE THE 2 OF YOU IN COURT IF YOU DON’T STOP
COLBY, JOAN, DENNIS, CATHERINE + DOROTHY WHEELER ARE DEAD TO ME! YOU ARE ALL OUT OF MY LIFE. HAVE BEEN OUT 3 YEARS – LEAVE IT THERE!
PPS. At 8:20 pm, just now, Francine called Joan. NOT TO HARASS BUT ONLY TO FIND OUT WHY IN THE WORLD Joan involved Ruth in this junk! Joan hung up on her – OK! I also had called Joan earlier this evening to make it clear that I want nothing to do with her! END OF STORY
There will be NO phone calls from either Fran or me – no more letters – nothing –
quite frankly we have better things to do with our time than to be concerned with a couple of losers like you.
And if you or her send me or John any letters or phone calls you will be charged with harassment because you + Joan are nothing but trouble – and you are both NUTS!
PLEASE GET SOME PSYCHIATRIC HELP! AND TELL YOUR EX-WIFE TO GET PSYCHIATRIC HELP ALSO! ‘COS YOU BOTH CLEARLY NEED IT!
I write straight what I think – not phony like Joan “I wish you the best” Nonsense! I don’t lie – I don’t wish you + Joan the best!
ALSO TELL THAT IDIOT JOAN NOT TO BOTHER CALLING MY PLACE OF EMPLOYMENT TO TRY TO GET ME FIRED – IT WON’T WORK!
ALL THAT JERK ACCOMPLISHED WAS TO MAKE AN ASSHOLE OUT OF HERSELF! ALL THOSE PHONE CALLS TO BGH IN 1995 DID NOTHING BUT SHOW PEOPLE WHAT A LIAR AND NUTCASE SHE IS!
Hospital administration was alerted to the fact that one of their employees was being stalked by a crazy person.
The dir. of Pt. Accounts, P.S. who got an idiot letter from Joan laughed about her when I met with him.
I shall alert BGH administration to the fact that nut is starting to bother me again – they are concerned only with my job performance which is exemplary after 25 years! Have you or your lazy ex-wife held down a job that long?
GET A LIFE – MINE IS NOT YOURS OR JOAN’S TO HAVE!
And tell her not to bother writing letters to the mayor of Bflo either – I daresay that despite his polite response to her he really does not care one iota about her stupid problems.
Oh + by the way – Joan’s accusation about me going into the hospital’s computer – it was investigated (3 months before I heard about it) – the error occurred on a date – in the daytime too – dummy – I work nights – I was not on duty.
They never asked me about or even told me about it because BGH has faith in me + not a crackpot like Joan.
Again LEAVE ME ALONE! STAY OUT OF MY LIFE! WHAT PART OF THIS CAN’T YOU FOOLS UNDERSTAND? I SUGGEST YOU LEARN TO READ A DICTIONARY.
Ruth’s note, October 11, 2011 – Did Joan stay out of my life after all of this? NO! Just 9 months later – in February 1999, JOAN WROTE TO ME AGAIN! And she informed me that her son saw me drive by their house – (a lie, I didn’t have a car), and that my fiance John got the next door neighbor pregnant and they had a baby girl in 1994. – um, how come she never said that before – especially in 1995 when she was telling John to leave me – mmmm? BECAUSE JOAN IS A TROUBLE-MAKING LIAR!) When I got these two letters – I marched right down to Family Court, filed harassment charges on Joan, and in March or April 1999, I received a one-year order of protection against her.
So we see how Joan is the oh-so-innocent victim of her nasty birth sisters – nope, not by a long shot – in reality, it is we, the birth sisters who were victims of Joan’s!
by the way, I have scanned into my computer, the actual letters presented here. but here is the envelope from Joan, it is a copy of it and my notes – which I sent off to Joan.
here is just page two of the letter I wrote to Colby – rather explicit isn’t it? What is the main thrust of my communication to these two imbeciles? LEAVE ME ALONE! LEAVE ME ALONE! LEAVE ME ALONE! LEAVE ME ALONE! LEAVE ME ALONE! LEAVE ME ALONE! LEAVE ME ALONE! -But even after all of that – Joan writes to me AGAIN! – in February 1999 with some shit story that my INFERTILE husband got the next door neighbor pregnant! -(this letter has been posted and addressed many times on my blog) – but what does Joan continuously state all over the internet, in her book, on the Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change forum? – That Joan NEVER bothered Ruth, that she has no contact with Ruth, hasn’t had a relationship with Ruth for over 30 years (2011 – minus 30 years takes us to 1981, yet she correctly says in her stupid book that I was one of her bridesmaids in 1983).
PEOPLE – (Mara, Lori C., Heather UK, Susan Thompson Underdahl – and others – do you now see what a LIAR Joan Wheeler is?
Why didn’t she go to our father – and explained the situation to him and give him the letter to pass on to Gert. She could have taken the letter and a stamped envelope over to our dad’s house, explain the situation, have him read the letter, let him witness her place the letter to Gert in the envelope, have Dad address the envelope (to protect Gert’s privacy) and then drive Dad to a mail box, and let Dad place the envelope in the mailbox.
This would have given Joan some credibility with everyone in the family! But NOoooo! Joan has to involve RUTH – and further, put Ruth’s fiance’s name on the envelope as well!
The whole thing is just fishy fishy fishy. If Joan was so concerned about Gert – when Gert called her up – JOAN HUNG UP ON HER! – This shows Joan’s intent – despite her boo-hooing that her sisters harass her, she wants to keep the contact up. Because even though she lied about a fictious 40 page letter that we wrote “throwing her out of the family,” we did indicate to her by other means that we want nothing to do with her! And she couldn’t (and still can’t) handle that! – We are her birth family – and she wants us – more than anything! So even when we say to her “get the hell away from us” – she finds ways to cling to us! She will not take NO for an answer.
Even when an assitant district attorney FORBADE Joan to contact me, Joan just WANTS TO CONTACT ME SOME WAY! And this situation with the strange guy just gives Joan a perfect opportunity to contact me! (or so Joan reasons) – (it’s not harassment – I’m only sending Ruth this so we can “save” Gert together!) — Sorry, Joan, it doesn’t work like that – NO CONTACT MEANS JUST THAT — NO CONTACT! Unfortunately, when I got the letter, Carol was no longer employed at the DA’s office, and I had to start from scratch – hence their advisement to write to Joan and Colby!
And then arrogant Joan took the occasion of the 25th anniversary of our reunion to write bullshit letters to me again – and this time she got her ass in trouble! She just won’t learn. What an idiot!
UPDATE SEPT 2016; as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ another ‘revised’ version. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor!