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Joan Wheeler, aka 1adoptee, speaks, from experience, about improving ones quality of life.

by on October 15, 2011

 Joan Wheeler, aka 1adoptee, speaks, from experience, about improving ones quality of life.
The language that adoptees use is, well, somewhat strange. I really don’t know, nor care, about what is meant, in the following discussion, by LDA. From context it appears to mean, perhaps, late day adoptee, but that’s only a guess. They seem to use it for when someone found out they were adopted later in life, as an adult versus as a child. Actually the meaning doesn’t mean much here anyway. The issue is how Joan sees her life and how that affects everything she has done and continues to do. It colors the very fabric of why NO ONE can reason with her about anything because she is the adoptee….who has suffered and who likes her suffering and will never get out of her suffering.
In this brief response of Joan’s NO WHERE does she ACTUALLY talk about the topic, namely…improving the quality of our lives (adoptee’s lives). I do find that interesting! In every occasion, Joan always talks about her pain and loss and never about the improving!
Hey..does anyone have a cross this woman can borrow so she can get it over with?
So…as we will see in the following…because Joan was ‘lied to’ about the existence of her birth family, until she was ‘found’ by the birth family, she has been in shock and it never left her. Gosh, to be in a constant state of shock, for decades…no wonder she has had a life-time of mental and physical ailments…she NEVER learned how to let go of the anger she had at being lied to by the adoptive parents. And today, depending on whom she is talking with, will say that ‘she has sought out help and is getting help’. No, like I said depending on whom she is talking to…like Lori from Americans for Open Records…who believes that Joan is getting the help she needs! Right! Tell me another fairie tale! Sure, then how come Joan is still bitching about her lot in life? Why can’t she accept it and MOVE ON! Why can’t she tells people HOW to improve the quality of the adoptee’s life?
Today, decades later, she still suffers from the pain of those days of 1974. She is stuck there, she can’t get out of that time period, everything was destroyed between herself and adoptive parents and she CAN’T move forward. No…she WON’T move forward. And because she is struck there her entire life is filled with PTSD and depressions…that is ALL she knows. She doesn’t want to move forward, for to move forward she would have to ABANDON all the hate and anger that she likes around her. She doesn’t want to improve her life!
She says that she has healed what she can on the inside…you could have fooled me! Her inside is just as dark as it ever was. If it were true, that she healed ‘the inside’ she would have pulled down her two web sites of hate and lies against the birth sisters and she would get every site on the internet to remove mention of her libelous book, that is no longer being printed, and she would apology to the birth family for the harm she has done to us. So she is still lying because she is still a liar.
She says that she still has feelings of loss for the family and identity she was to have from birth. The loss of the family is due to her own destructive deeds and words since she was ‘found’ by the birth family. She destroyed all that WAS HERS when she was found, by her own words and deeds, and then again when she wrote a book of lies and hate. She destroyed it all and yet she puts the blame on the birth family and makes us pay and pay and pay. And that is why, NOW, we are speaking out.
Hey..does anyone have a cross this woman can borrow so she can get it over with?
So the question was posed, on the Adult Adopees Advocating for Change, and Joan (1adoptee) replys :
How do we improve the quality of our lives, move forward from the lack of belonging & insecurities’?
« Reply #11 on: October 10, 2011, 04:02:36 PM »
The only thing is that most of you have already had a life time to begin dealing with this…As a LDA I have only just begun.  Im not sur things can ever get better. To lost right now to know.

I knew I was adopted from the time I was a small child, but, in a sense I am an LDA, too, because at age 18 and still in high school, I was found by four older full-blood siblings I never knew and htey introduced me to our father, my natural father. My addoptive parents and all of my adoptive extended family kept the secret from me and my adoptive parents never wanted me to know the truth. They knew I had siblings and where they were and knew where my father was and knew where my deceased natural mother was buried, yet they chose not to tell me. But the shock of being found inn 1974 has never really left me. I still suffer from the pain of being a very young adult and being told the truth just before graduating from high school. That destroyed trust between myself and my adoptive parents, and caused PTSD reactions and depression for me all of my life. I have healed what I can inside, but still have feelings of loss for the family (and identity) I was supposed to have from birth.

One Comment
  1. Reblogged this on Refuting a Book of Lies: Forbidden Family — and commented:

    always worth remembering the real Joan

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