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Evidence of how Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel sets people against each other and how she exploits and tries to enlist my daughter into committing crimes!

by on October 20, 2011
Evidence of how Joan Wheeler sets people against each other and how she exploits and tries to enlist my daughter into committing crimes!

UPDATE SEPT 2017; I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler (Doris Michol Sippel) says about me and family. The first book Forbidden Family, A Half Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism‘ was published in 2009 but then was pulled from publication by the publisher in May 2011, for libelous material within the book. Then in 2015, she ‘self-published’ a ‘revised’ version calling it ‘Forbidden Family, an adoptee duped by adoption’. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor! Then in 2016 Joan changed her name back to her birth name and rewrote and republished the SAME crap in another book; a Third edition! CALLED ‘Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity’! Talk about conning people!   this blog is titled Reclaiming the Sippel-Herr Family Honor

this blog’s title/sub title is… DUPED BY ADOPTION & AN WOMAN’S STRUGGLE FOR IDENTITY, A BOOK STUDY an in-depth analyzes of the books called Forbidden Family; My Life as an Adoptee Duped by adoption & An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity by Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel.

Also see this Facebook page

In addition…see the ‘discussion’ forums, on Amazon, for two of the books. The first book has one review and several comments related.

Forbidden Family: My Life as an Adoptee Duped by Adoption forum

Joan Mary Wheeler forum

 review of first book and 4 comments



WARNING! This post is NOT for the faint of heart! It contains a mother’s outrage at the manipulation and exploitation of her child and the soliciting, of her child, to commit a crime!
Here is evidence, hard copy DOES exist, of a letter written by Joan Wheeler, in 1995, to my daughter Karen. I learned of it and saw it for the first time in Sept 2011. I was never told of this letter nor of Joan’s actions, in 1995, for I told my family, again, in 1992 as I did in 1982, that I NEVER wanted to hear about or from Joan Wheeler. In 1995 Karen had given Ruth full permission to use anything in this letter. I asked Karen again for that permission once I saw this disgusting letter of manipulation and attempts to have MY daughter commit crimes. We have seen another such a letter, of manipulation and intimidation, by Joan, to my elderly foster mother…
My comments will be placed within ***   *** per paragraph of this transcript of Joan’s letter to my daughter Karen, of January 7, 1995
Dear Karen:
Please excuse the computer-typed letter, since I purchased this computer in 1989 I find it much easier to write with than writing with a pen. Sorry it took me so long to write — the holidays have been so busy. And, I’ve sick with sinus, but I went to the hospital this week and got treated with special sinus medication so I feel much better now. I am enclosing a recent photo of us so you can see what we look like.
***Gert says: Joan has to make sure to tell of her troubles and woes to a niece she has NOT had much contact with since 1982 when Joan INTERFERED in that niece’s life! Now 13 years later Joan is making contact…humm…Joan is up to something, she wants something. To make sure her niece hasn’t forgotten, what she looks like, Joan sends a photo!***
Joan continues: To tell you the truth, I was so afraid to call you a few weeks ago because of your nasty phone call to me about a year and a half ago. That hurt me that you weren’t even asking my side of the story. Anyway, I had hoped that deep down you had an ounce of respect and that in time I would be able to communicate with you. I hope that this starts us off on a good footing … one of mutual respect, honesty and a hope for a good relationship now and in the future.
***Gert says: Joan launches right in with her intimidation to my daughter! Joan apparently was ‘hurt’ over a phone call from Karen, a year and a half before writing this letter…the time line Joan indicated here places that call in 1992. By gosh that was the time I was in Buffalo when Joan caused trouble within the family by going to my father’s home telling him that my mental health was in danger because of my new religion. Did my daughter tell Joan off a year and a half before this particular letter? Obviously Joan is hurt because my daughter didn’t want to hear Joan’s side of the story a year and a half before Joan wrote this letter. Most likely, my daughter told Joan that if it wasn’t for Joan’s interference in my daughter’s life, my daughter’s life would have been much better than what it turned out to be. But even so, Joan isn’t all that afraid, she isn’t all that good on the phone, the person could hang up on her and so she HAD to write to my daughter. One has to wonder why is Joan NOW writing to my daughter…because Joan NEEDS something from her that’s why!
And true to form Joan again belittles and browbeats, my daughter, by saying she hopes my daughterhas an ounce of respect (for Joan) to resume communications with Joan! Then immediately sets down what Joan wants, but is incapable of doing, let alone keeping up, namely a good footing … one of mutual respect, honesty and a hope for a good relationship now and in the future. Joan is such a bullshitter by telling the person she is talking to (writing to) that it is/will be THEIR fault if the relationship doesn’t happen. Joan believes that no one sees the man behind the Joan curtain! This is classic manipulation and abuse! ***
Joan continues: I am enclosing copies of letters I have written to defend myself. I am sending them to you so you know my side of the story. Please do not send copies to your mother or to Aunt Kathy. This is just for you. If the situation should become out of hand (such as your mother and Kathy being dragged into this by Aunt Ruth, I will decide if I should send copies or not.)  I do not even wish you to call or write Aunt Ruth. For now this communication is between you and me.
 ***Gert says: The same batch of copied letters that Joan wrote to various people against Ruth and then sends them to Ruth! Oh Joan covers all the bases, she needs everyone to know her side of every story! This letter writing and mailing them to everyone is considered HARASSMENT. Further more Joan now sets my daughter against her mother and her aunt. The same shit she did in the early 1980s with my daughter Joan is doing again in 1995! Joan is alienating my own daughter from me! Joan is pitting my daughter against aunts! Joan is giving this information ONLY to my daughter and ONLY if my daughter will do as Joan indicates! Here is clear evidence of how nasty Joan is…she has no problem with telling my daughter NOT to call or write Aunt Ruth or Aunt Kathy or MOTHER! Joan is making my daughter her special puppet and playing her against mother and aunts!***
 Joan continues: Obviously, I am baffled as to Ruth’s behavior. I have long time ago let go of my sisters…If they do not want me in their lives, so be it. But the continued under-handed, sneaking around, telephone harassment and other kinds of trouble are the acts of disturbed people, not of people who accept that a relationship has come to an end and who can leave it at that.
***Gert says: Joan doesn’t recognized nor honor the relationships the person she is talking (writing) to in connection to the people that Joan is bad-mouthing. Joan is attempting to sever the blood ties between my daughter and her aunts and mother! Joan lies here; Joan hadn’t at that time or anytime since accepted that we ARE out of her life. It is Joan who keeps bringing us back into her life. It is Joan who has done all these things she claims we have done. Joan needs the attention and tries many ways to get, that attention, as with this letter. To my daughter Joan is calling me and my sisters disturbed and that we are doing all these actions. What Joan is doing here, as she did in 1981/ 82, is purposely alienating my daughter from me and my two sisters! ***
Joan continues: Karen, I have no time to waste straightening out any foul-ups that Ruth puts in action. I am the single mother of two children. I have worked hard at building up their lives since leaving their father and I am quite proud of how our personal lives have improved since leaving Colby. I am starting college in two weeks, with part time work, and I won’t have the time to write letters or make phone calls to correct any problems or drag this out in court. (I was supposed to start in Sept. but had to take a leave of absence to take care of Cathy).
***Gert says: Joan is placing all blame onto Ruth, a blood aunt, to the person Joan is speaking/writing to, my daughter. Joan then tells Karen, again, her tales of woe, but not once does Joan ask nor care about what is going on in Karen’s life! Joan’s sole purpose here is to make sure that my daughter KNOWS that Ruth has done all kinds of things that are making Joan’s life miserable. Joan has no time for fixing and correcting things, including taking court action to end the business; truth is, Joan has no case to take to court that is why Joan writes letters and letters. BUT, Joan does have all this time in the world to write to my daughter and indicate that Joan will send a package of letters, that Joan has written to many many people already, so that Joan can enlist my daughter onto her side! Joan enlisted my daughter in 1981/82 and she is doing it again in 1995. Joan is incapable of seeing how she says one thing, ie harassments, then turns around and says that she doesn’t harass.***
Joan continues: With the call in to the Child Abuse Hotline, this puts me and my mother in possible legal trouble and, as you know, there is tremendous prejudice placed upon a parent trying to defend herself against these anonymous calls. I am not yet divorced and stand a good chance of loosing the children if Ruth continues her misuse of the Child Abuse Hotline.
 ***Gert says: Here Joan is falsely placing the blame squarely onto Ruth, without evidence! There never was any evidence against Ruth! All these charges and incidents, that Joan speaks of, were done either by the adoptive family or Joan herself. Joan has told this nonsense, in many venues and many times and now she is telling this to my daughter and Ruth’s niece. Joan’s purpose is to gain support from my daughter and to use my daughter to ‘get’ Ruth to stop the alleged behavior. Divide and conquer, that’s Joan’s way of doing business! Joan NEVER cared how a false abuse call against ME would effect my marriage, my family, my life and my children’s lives when SHE did it to me TWICE! And now she wants to enlist my daughter to her side!! Joan is sick, sick, sick!!***
Joan continues: True, I and my mother have done nothing wrong and I am certainly not having an affair with John, but the idea of having case workers invading my life and believing the report is very upsetting to me and my mother. The truth has won out and the case has been unfounded, but what of the record in Albany? So far, I have not received any paperwork from Albany.
 ***Gert says: Besides proclaiming her innocence, she informs my daughter of ‘all’ the problems it creates in her life. Has Joan FORGOTTEN that she herself called in two false child abuse calls upon me about my parenting of my minor children whom Karen is one of? Of course not, because Joan is brain dead! So if her case was ‘unfounded’ what is she bitching about here? What Joan DOESN’T know is that she will NEVER hear from Albany. They DON’T send any ‘paperwork’ about such things! How do I know? Because I went through this in 1981 and 82 when Joan called two false child abuse calls on me!
The first was dismissed because my husband and I had just completed a full investigation during the process of ADOPTING my son! Joan did not like the idea that we were adopting and she call child abuse against us. Then in the course of physically moving my family from one city to another, my daughter rebelled, ran away from home saying she didn’t like living at home with her step-father. Joan called another child abuse case against us and because of the nature of the reported abuse my child was NOT returned to me. I had to request that my child be placed in foster care, for her protection because she would not stay home and obey rules and to keep her away from Joan. I then requested a hearing to dispute all charges. The case was proved to be unfounded and that we, the parents, had done everything to protect our minor child and the record was expunged from child abuse records.
Why had Joan not done the same, if she is SO innocent. My husband and I FOUND the time to clear our names. We also found out that unfounded cases as well as founded cases that have been through the review/hearing process will STILL NOT produce any kind of paperwork. The reason is very simple, but Joan doesn’t ‘get simple’. When a case is proved to be false and unfounded, it is EXPUNGED from the system…in other words, it is destroyed! IF a person decided to get a lawyer and REQUEST a copy of the EXPUNGED case they are only CREATING a paper trail of something that never HAPPENED. Joan is so stupid! She is so into paperwork that she is all upset because Albany, the state seat and where abuse cases are kept and/or expunged, WILL NOT give her paperwork of an UNFOUNDED case! Brain death is NOT funny!***
Joan continues: John Pace is very upset that he should be accused of abusing the children. I told him that he had better think twice if he wants to continue living with a woman who would accuse him of child abuse! Just wait until the report comes from Albany and I give John a copy of it! He will be confronting Ruth about the accusations. Ruth really tripped up this time.
***Gert says: And here again Joan is involving my daughter in situations that do not involve her. Joan is  subjecting my daughter to reading/hearing about her blood aunt and (then) fiance being bad mouthed. Furthermore, Joan is gloating that when she gets the report from Albany she will use it to drive a wedge between Ruth and John. And this is good behavior! Is this how Joan is helping and protecting my daughter? ***
Joan continues: And you know what? The other sisters … your mother and Aunt Kathy … believe Ruth. After all these years of being the brunt of everyone’s hatred, I am convinced that they hate me because I was born and Mom died. They have to have someone to blame for their miserable lives. They can’t accept the way things turned out, they can’t accept me for who I am so they have to make my life miserable. I am tired of being their scapegoat! I can live with out my sisters in my life. I love them. They are and always will be my sisters. But they are misguided, abusive and negative. I seek positive poeple and happiness.
***Gert says: What makes Joan think and believe that we hate her because she was born and our mother died and that we have to blame her for our miserable lives!! What drugs was she taking then? What drugs is she taking now? She has told this nonsense for years and it is pure crap. Look what she said…I am convinced. She has convinced herself of this crap; there isn’t a shed of truth to it. First off, only Joan hates herself  for any number of reasons. We, the family, hate that she wrote a lying hateful book dishonoring the entire family. We do NOT have miserable lives! It is Joan who DOES have a miserable life and she needs someone to blame it on and it is us sisters who will not allow her to speak against us anymore.
Here we see a blatant attempt at alienation of affections from my daughter to her mother and another aunt AGAINST aunt Ruth. Look at how Joan refers to my daughter’s mother and aunt…the other sisters! Joan has no respect for the person she is talking to, which happens to be my daughter! Joan doesn’t care to whom she tells about her own hate. This is Joan at her best! Here she has a captive audience, my daughter reading this letter! Joan has no respect for the fact that she is telling my daughter this garbage! We have seen this particular ‘story-line’, of Joan’s, again in many venues and times but NOW she is manipulating and ‘pitting’ my daughter against her mother (me) and my sisters who are my daughter’s aunts (Ruth and Kathy). Joan has no shame because Joan doesn’t believe that she is doing anything wrong. It doesn’t matter that Karen, in 1995, was an adult, Joan alienated my daughter’s affections from me when Karen was 14/15/16 years old and Joan is doing it again when Karen is  29/30 years old. Age doesn’t matter….Karen is MY DAUGHTER and Joan Wheeler has NO BUSINESS manipulating my child…and it gets worst!***
Joan continues: I hope you can understand things form my point of view, now that you are older. This letter and package are for you only. I do not want your mother drawn into this. She doesn’t want me in ?
***Gert says: See!!! Now that my daughter is older she can understand Joan’s point of view! I tell you now that if I had KNOWN about this letter in 1995 I would have PRESSED CHARGES AGAINST Joan Wheeler! And while Joan is exploiting and manipulating my daughter she tells her it is for you only I do not want your mother drawn into this. These are typical statements from someone who molests a child! And Joan talks about ‘secrets’! This is another statement of alienating my daughter’s affection from me.***
Joan continues: I hope that I did the right thing back in 1981 when you confided in me about _ and your fears. I told a co-worker about what you said to me and he called the authorities, not me. And now, I think perhaps I did the wrong thing because this was misinterpreted by your mother as an act against her, which it wasn’t. I was protecting you, Karen. And if your life ended up as hell because of it, I am sorry. ( ? her. You are old enough now to hear (and read) my side – with an open mind).
***Gert says: So Joan wonders here in 1995 if she did the right thing in 1981! A little too later for that stray thought! It is ONE thing for a 14/15 female child to ‘confide’ to her aunts (Ruth and Joan) that she doesn’t like her step-father, that she was uncomfortable with things at home, but it is ANOTHER thing for Joan, the aunt, to TALK about those confidences with fucking co-workers, that are mandated to report it as abuse. Joan was advised by Ruth and others NOT to get involved, NOT to talk to others, but Joan always KNOWS BEST and ignored the advise! Did NOT Joan ever stop to think about the consequences to my daughter and my family by Joan’s callous disregard for keeping family matters within the family? NO…Joan never thinks because Joan knows what is best, always, and so she told a co-worker things a 14/15 said, without any confirmation of facts and truth!
What Joan NEVER considered was the TRUTH of the matter! My daughter DID NOT want to move from one city to another and THAT is why she didn’t like my husband and things at home! What teenage girl WANTS to move when she had to LEAVE HER FRIENDS. But that was MY business NOT JOAN’S. And because Joan is an idiot and pits people against each other I had FORBIDDEN Joan to have ANY CONTACT with my minor children AFTER SHE PLACED THE FIRST CHILD ABUSE REPORT AGAINST ME BECAUSE I ADOPTED MY SON! So Joan continued her hate, over adoption, and the fact that I adopted and had forbade her contact with my children and she jumped to conclusions believing a 15 year old in order to ‘get even’ with me and my husband! It backfired! And Joan is paying the price ever since.
Like I said, its a little too late for Joan to wonder if she did the right thing in 81. She was wrong then and she is wrong here in 1995 as she is still wrong today of 2011. And here in this 1995 letter she STILL is exploiting and pitting my child against me! Then Joan utterly DISMISSES my child’s comments about her life ‘of hell’ with a mere ‘I’m sorry’. Why does Joan even bother with that sentiment? Joan hasn’t a clue of what she destroyed by those false abuse calls. It was because of Joan’s interferences that caused not only my daughter’s life to change but my son’s, my husband’s and mine. Joan’s ‘protecting’ my daughter put my daughter into situations where I HAD NO CONTROL and could NOT GUIDE my daughter from marrying too young and without proper thought and care. No, Joan Wheeler it is too late for you to attempt to easy your mind to my daughter!***
Joan continues: Do you know that your mother called Child Abuse Hotline on me twice, when Dennis was an infant? I’ll send you copies of the reports if you’d like.
***Gert says: And Joan continues on with pitting my child against me!! Joan never had ANY proof that I called child abuse on her! She is LYING when she says she has copies of the report! They do NOT give you ANY REPORT, they either tell you the case is UNFOUNDED or is FOUNDED. If the case is founded to be true then you have to request A HEARING before you SEE any charges made and by whom. It is only the case-workers who can TELL anything about the report to the person being reported on. Joan is telling my child this to PIT my child against me. No where in the book does Joan state that she HAS copies of any abuse reports and if she EVER DID she BURNED them in front of her children or so she says in the book! Joan lies and manipulates others.***
Joan continues: yes, it is true tht one of the case workers who came to my house in December actually remembered you and asked me: “Who is Karen F? When I told him who you were he said he remembered the story and that he believes this current report to be an act of harassment. His name is Joe Pinto from the Erie County Department of Social Services Child Protection Services. Joe Pinto, Senior Child Protective Investigator Erie County Department of Social Services 478 Main St. Buffalo, NY 14202 Child Protective Worker – same address I will send you a copy of the report when I get it. I am also enclosing in this package some things I have been wanting to share with you for many years: my writings. Let me know what you think of them.
***Gert says: This is pure bullshit from Joan’s mouth. Its only purpose is to attempt to prove to my child that I harmed Joan. Let me make this PERFECTLY CLEAR…NO CASE WORKER WOULD EVER STATE THE NAME OF ANY OF THEIR CASES TO ANY ONE. It’s called confidentiality! Joan is a con-artist! She preys at and on the base level of the human mind that is willing to believe the very worst of another. This is why Joan is a very dangerous person.
It is certainly quite possible that Joan had the same case-worker as I had, after all it all happened in the same city/county, but that is as far as any connection could be possible. It is more possible that Joan herself, asked Mr Pinto if HE remembered my daughter and for Joan herself to tell Mr Pinto that she felt it was harassment, from me. Truth is, I never called abuse on Joan and no one from that agency would have discussed MY CASE with Joan. And they most certainly would REMEMBERED HER.
Joan wants to give a gift of her writings to my daughter to ingrate my daughter to Joan…classic case of keeping secrets, giving candy/gifts to show that you are special, but please don’t tell anyone about our secret and special relationship. Sounds to me as if Joan herself must have been sexual abused as a child! She exhibits all the behavior patterns of a sexually molested individual. ***
Joan continues: The geneology papers are hard to get through because they are detailed. The chart that is most meaningful to you will be the 4th chart. This is the one that has you and your brother on it and your children. I would deeply love to have correct information for my records so could you please send me on another sheet of paper (you keep these!) all the correct information!
***Gert says: Classic Joan behavior. She wants to know everything about the family so that she can then write about them in her life’s work…Forbidden Family…which is now pulled because of its libelous materials. ***
Joan continues: You will have a lot to read, so I’ll close now.
***Gert says: Great ending, except…no wait, there’s more!! Hang on to your seats for here comes the solicitation to commit crimes!***
Joan continues: Oh, you said you work for Medicaid. What is your job and how can you help me make sure that there is no tampering with my records? I do not mind if you look up and find my personal files … as long as you keep it to yourself.
***Gert says: Classic little bit here…oh sorry but before I forget and/or by the way…which is such a very nice quiet unassuming way of getting around to the REAL reason for the letter! So here is the real reason for contacting my daughter. Didn’t you say you worked for Medicaid? Truth is my daughter did not work for Medicaid, she ‘handled’ those types of claims. Joan knows this, but, in her usual way of playing ignorant when it suits her to get the other person off balance, then Joan asks what looks like a innocent question.
Now that Joan has established a special secret relationship with my daughter, Joan is now able to get to what she wants from my daughter, information. Joan doesn’t care that she is asking my daughter to commit a crime! What is your job? She asks my daughter! How can you help me make sure that there is no tampering with my records? What’s wrong with this picture?
What Joan is NOT telling my daughter is that Joan had already accused Ruth of tampering with Joan’s records! Joan caused much trouble at Ruth’s place of employment AFTER Ruth was cleared of any such nonsense. But Joan continued writing letters against Ruth to many people and making phone calls to Ruth’s supervisors telling them that Ruth is guilty, regardless of what the investigation said. And now Joan needs my daughter to do the very thing that Joan accused Ruth of doing!! What’s wrong with this picture?
Then Joan tells my daughter that she doesn’t mind if she looks up and finds Joan’s personal files…as long as my daughter keeps it to herself! What’s wrong with this picture?
It’s called solicitation to commit a crime! ***
Joan continues: By the way, I am trying to find out if I am entitled to an itemized bill of the medical care provided for myself and two children during 1994. I am grateful that I have Medicaid, for if I still lived with Colby and his employers never had insurance, we surely would not have been able to pay for the medical expenses.
***Gert says: And Joan continues on with the easy oh by the way line giving the impression that this is no big deal here. If Joan is only trying to find out something WHY doesn’t she go directly to the agency she is dealing with and ask them for the information instead of getting my daughter involved and asking her to commit a crime? Because most likely Joan did and they would not give Joan want Joan wanted and when Joan doesn’t get what she wants she resorts to doing illegal things. The reasons Joan gives here are not the real reasons, oh no. Joan doesn’t want to know how much the medical expenses are…even people with insurance, like myself, are not interested in knowing that! As long as someone pays the bills I don’t care how much they were. No, that is NOT the reason. Joan is looking for someone, namely my daughter, to become Joan’s new best friend so that Joan has a puppet that can do Joan’s dirty work for her. If you don’t believe me, then befriend Joan and see what she does to you in a course of a year.***
Joan continues: Just for myself: I have had two CT scans and have to have one every six months. I have no idea what these things cost. For my daughter: she has had two CT scans, an MRI, three spinal taps (also lumbar puncture) and numerous visits to several different clinics at Children’s Hospital. With the stay in the hospital, and the many doctors, I can’t even begin to calculate waht this has cost in one year. (The second CT scan was January 3rd, 1995). If you can obtain a printup, without getting yourself into trouble, I’d appreciate it if you can send me an itemized bill of what Medicaid is paying for my family’s health care.
***Gert says: See how much information Joan is willing to give out in order to gain the trust and confidence of the one she is asking to commit a crime! So Joan tells my daughter specifically what she wants…a printup and make sure you don’t get yourself into trouble. In other words, don’t get caught for Joan wants a printup. ***
Joan continues: And I am concerned abut you said about my father. I knew he had heart condition, but I did not know he had an operation. Please tell me what that was, I forgot what you said.
***Gert says: This is just another way of getting more trust from the one she wants to commit a crime. Joan is saying…hey, I forgot what you said about my father, do tell me again…that’s an invitation to continue the dialog with the one Joan is asking to commit a crime. ***
Joan continues: And, please know that I ahve seen my father once this holiday season and talked with him on the phone today. I have not mentioned anything about Ruth. The only person who knows, besides you, is Uncle Butch in Phoenix. I hope the situation calms down so he doesn’t need to hear about it and if he does hear about it, it won’t be from me.
***Gert says: Here’s another reinforcement by Joan, to make sure that my daughter keeps her month shut. Joan wants to keep their communication secret and away from Ruth. Joan also indicates that another relative, my brother, is also a special person because Joan spoke with him; this is another version of pitting various relatives against each other. The only person who knows anything is my daughter and it will be my daughter who will be blamed, by Joan if it goes wrong. Joan will certainly blame my daughter now, in 2011 for having shown this letter to Ruth and me, her mother! ***
Joan continues: So, guess what? I went out for a beer (so turn me in to Child Abuse, okay?!) with a friend of mine three days ago. We had one beer each. The waitress turns to us and asks for proof age. Liz laughed and said she turns 36 in two weeks and I laughed and handed over my driver’s license and said, “sweetie, you’d be embarrassed to find out I turn 39 on Saturday!”
***Gert says: Joan’s attempts to make a joke about her behavior in regards to child abuse, while speaking with my daughter about abuse, only proves that Joan is an asshole! Joan is a juvenile regardless of her age, she has a behavior pattern of nasty 12 year old with tendencies of heavy duty manipulation that could only have been ‘learned behavior’ from an early history of child abuse. ***
Joan continues: If nothing else, I’m glad that “young looking” genes run in the family! By the way, did anyone ever tell you that you look like my mother, your grandmother? I remember a photo of you with your class from 1979 or 80 …Take care, Karen, please write.
Love, Aunt Joan
***Gert says: Joan can’t resist, she has to end this secret communication and solicitation to commit a crime with a nicely flowerly compliment!  Pat the kid on the head, tell them sweet things and keep them coming back for more. Oh Joan is good!!
And now we end this with a short note between Karen and Ruth…Jan 9, 1995.
I got a great laugh about her calling you and your supervisor at work! Doesn’t she understand that it’s personal and work really doesn’t want to get involved. Your supervisors sound cool enough. I’d have done the same thing if I were them! No way should she do that. I mean at Medicaid -we get bills like that all the time. One address different name! Yeah it’s a pain but that happens. As a matter of fact I just got off the phone with a situation like that.
So we see that my daughter is not as stupid as Joan thinks she is!
Have I mentioned that it is my daughter that Joan has attempted to manipulate, pit against me and other relatives and who Joan asked to commit a crime?***
Comment by karen:
UHm to clarify a few things….. I NEVER worked at MEDICAID I worked at UPSTATE MEDICARE….two separate things let alone agencies….MEDICAID is from Social Services and MEDICARE is for those over 65, disabled, or under ESRD(kidney failure).

I would NEVER had done what she asked as I could have lost my job and liked what I was doing, I had been there for almost 5 years and no way in HELL was I going to do anything that she asked that may have cost my job. I thought it was a bit odd when she asked me even look that information up. I was a telephone Customer Rep and had access to a lot of information.Even to this day I would NOT give that information out.



Anywho I never reread this letter nor any of the other ones I got over the years from all of my family and YES I do have most of them from the 80′s through today. Until I was asked about this and dug it up. And yeah I have been told I look like MY Grandma Genvieve, I am very proud to look like her, she was a absolutely beautiful lady.


additional comment by Gert:

Well said Karen!!, thanks for the clarifications. I know how hard you have worked over the years to get your license. Good…Mom


  1. karen permalink

    UHm to clarify a few things….. I NEVER worked at MEDICAID I worked at UPSTATE MEDICARE….two separate things let alone agencies….MEDICAID is from Social Services and MEDICARE is for those over 65, disabled, or under ESRD(kidney failure).

    I would NEVER had done what she asked as I could have lost my job and liked what I was doing, I had been there for almost 5 years and no way in HELL was I going to do anything that she asked that may have cost my job. I thought it was a bit odd when she asked me even look that information up. I was a telephone Customer Rep and had access to a lot of information.Even to this day I would NOT give that information out.


    Anywho I never reread this letter nor any of the other ones I got over the years from all of my family and YES I do have most of them from the 80’s through today. Until I was asked about this and dug it up. And yeah I have been told I look like MY Grandma Genvieve, I am very proud to look like her, she was a absolutely beautiful lady.

  2. Reblogged this on Refuting a Book of Lies: Forbidden Family — and commented:

    an important bit of background that was never viewed here on this blog

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  1. Joan Wheeler pits people against each other and solictes my daughter to commit a crime « Refuting a Book of Lies: Forbidden Family –
  2. some examples of Joan Wheeler’s bad behavior – why nobody wants to hang out with her | Refuting a Book of Lies: Forbidden Family --

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