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Are people AFRAID of adoptees? According to Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change and Joan Wheeler, they are!

by on November 26, 2011
Afraid of adoptees? Excuse me!!
Admittedly, I’m NOT an adoptee and, not being in their shoes, can’t fully understand. But to say that people are afraid of adoptees indicates that adoptees have some quality or thing or an ability that non-adoptees fear. Can’t fathom what that could be! There are human just like the rest of the race…or are they? Oh well…just another example of how different these people think and why it is so difficult for the rest of the human race to UNDERSTAND their nonsense.
BUT BEFORE WE CONTINUE HERE’S AN UPDATE, MARCH 2017; as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler (Doris Michol Sippel) says about me and family. The first book Forbidden Family, A Half Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism‘ was published in 2009 but then was pulled from publication by the publisher in May 2011, for libelous material within the book. Then in 2015, she ‘self-published’ a ‘revised’ version calling it ‘Forbidden Family, an adoptee duped by adoption’. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor! Then in 2016 Joan changed her name back to her birth name and rewrote and republished the SAME crap in another book; a Third edition! CALLED ‘Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity’! Talk about conning people!

https://gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/   this blog is titled Reclaiming the Sippel-Herr Family Honor

https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/

this blog’s title/sub title is… DUPED BY ADOPTION & AN WOMAN’S STRUGGLE FOR IDENTITY, A BOOK STUDY an in-depth analyzes of the books called Forbidden Family; My Life as an Adoptee Duped by adoption & An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity by Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel.

Also see this Facebook page

https://www.facebook.com/dupedbyadoptionStruggleforIdentity1/

In addition…see the ‘discussion’ forums, on Amazon, for two of the books. The first book has one review and several comments related.

Forbidden Family: My Life as an Adoptee Duped by Adoption forum

https://www.amazon.com/Forbidden-Family-Adoptee-Duped-Adoption/forum/Fx16ZHWP5PQHHCK/-/1/ref=cm_cd_fp_rvt?_encoding=UTF8&asin=B00X520CGW

Joan Mary Wheeler forum 

https://www.amazon.com/gp/forum/cd/forum.html/ref=cm_cd_rvt?ie=UTF8&cdForum=Fx3T0YAD0KXNPP5

review of first book and 4 comments

https://www.amazon.com/Forbidden-Family-Joan-M-Wheeler/dp/1412061547

 

AND NOW TO CONTINUE WITH THIS POST

So another meaning of life question was posed on the forum for Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change and we find Joan Wheeler giving us her wisdom.
Title: Why…
Post by: EP on June 10, 2011, 08:25:20 PM
Why does it seem that so many people are afraid of adoptees?
Title: Re: Why…
Post by: WS on June 10, 2011, 08:53:59 PM
Im not sure exactly how you mean this but I do think that most people tend to be afraid of the truth. And the truth of what adoptees actually experience is as we all know, much different then what society tends to have the general public believing in regards to adoption. So I think that most people (who are not adopted) tend to have a lot of misconceptions about what we as adoptees actually experience and when these people actually do learn about what we REALLY go through and how different it is from their preconceived notions, they tend to be very taken back, or shocked, they are scared of the truth. Really though, I have found that most people ( including my own parents) end up just denying that our experiences could really be “all that bad”, they don’t want to here the truth, see the truth, or speak the truth and they would rather continue to live in their own little fake world where adoption is great and all adoptees are grateful or at least should be grateful, for being “saved”.  :duh:
Gert says…well I do agree that most people ARE afraid of the truth…and truth being relative…these adoptees’ truth is only true to them, it certainly isn’t true to and for me. So the question ought to be more correctly stated, such as, are people afraid of the truth ‘behind and about’ adoption versus afraid of adoptees. But, these people on this forum and Joan Wheeler in particular, have a very difficult time sorting out the TRUTH of any given question let alone any and all circumstances of anything related to adoption and then posing the proper phasing of the question.
Did I lose you? Hope not! Anyway, Joan, as 1adoptee, gives us her view by answering the ‘quote’ that another had written…
 Title: Re: Why…
Post by: 1adoptee on June 14, 2011, 12:18:56 PM
Quote
I think we seem unnatural because our mothers gave us away.  Like the baby-bird pushed out of the nest.

Uhh, some of us were “given away” by our fathers. I was. And I was the youngest of five children, poof, gone. Just because I am not grateful to be raised an “only child” I have been criticized and ridiculed. Adoption is what it is: the destruction of the first family in order to create the second family, somehow seen as the better choice for the adoptee. I thihnk society can’t wrap it’s collective head around the complexity of it all so adoptees are made scapegoats.

Cher had a song in the 60s called HalfBreed. I feel like that only by fours instead of twos.

 ——–
Gert says…Way to go Joan!! Keep showing your stupidity! Doesn’t she know what the song HalfBreed is about? It’s about a interracial love child. How can Joan feel like a halfbreed? Sorry her parents were of the same race. Her adoptive parents were of the same race. How can she equate the two? Does she not think? Well we all know the answer to that!
And what’s this about ‘by fours instead of twos’? What is WRONG with this person??
Being adopted has nothing to do with breeding (full or half) it has EVERYTHING to do with leaving one family group and going into another and there are many varied reasons for doing that.
Okay so…many people do find it difficult to come to terms with a mother, or father, who gives away their child. Truth being relative…there are a multiple of reasons why a parent gives a child away, or why a parent KILLS their child. Let’s be real…life is messy…very messy.
Comparing a parent who gives away a child to a baby-bird pushed out of the nest, is NO comparison. They are TWO very different things. Birds are not the only species that push their young out the door when it’s time to grow up and doing that is NOT the same thing as GIVING the young away! Let’s get real…and about thinking correctly!
No, Joan has NOTHING to say here, she is just taking the opportunity to ‘tell her story’ again and again.
youngest of five children, poof, gone.
What does that have to do with why people are afraid of adoptees? What it is is self-pity.
was raised an ‘only child’ and not grateful…
what does that have to do with why people are afraid of adoptees? Just shows her lack of gratitude.
I have been criticized and ridiculed.
What does that have to do with why people are afraid of adoptees? Again, self-pity.
Adoption is what it is: the destruction of the first family in order to create the second family, somehow seen as the better choice for the adoptee.
What does that have to do with why people are afraid of adoptees? Where DOES she get these ideas? The destruction of this particular family was the death of a mother, NOT adoption. And NO second family was created. Once a child, in this case Joan, was adopted out, she had NO MORE claim to the family she was born into. The family that adopted her was not a second family but a DIFFERENT and SEPARATE family.
I thihnk society can’t wrap it’s collective head around the complexity of it all so adoptees are made scapegoats.
What does that have to do with why people are afraid of adoptees? Adoptees are being made scapegoats, what planet does she live on? The ‘collective head’ here is the adoptee who can not grasp the complexity of WHY people adopt and WHY, in this case Joan, she was placed in adoption.
Nothing that Joan has said here answers the question…
Why people are afraid of adoptees?
All this is was a opportunity for Joan to tell her story and those opportunities and venues are getting smaller and smaller…
Gert says “well I do agree that most people ARE afraid of the truth”
oh yes, we know all too well that JOAN is afraid of the truth. That’s why in February 2010, 4 months after I started my blog to refute the lies contained in her book, Joan went to these silly adoptees and urged them to complain to WordPress to “shut those fuckheads down.”

tsk, tsk, Joan. That wasn’t a very nice way to refer to your beloved BIRTH family, now is it?

On several places, on the adoptee forum, and other internet sites, Joan says that on our blog, we call her names. But she fails to say that she calls us names. Oh, we’re not afraid of the TRUTH, are we Joan?

No, Joan, if there is nothing you ever learned from knowing me these past 37 and a half years – learn THIS –

I, Ruth Sippel Pace have never been afraid of the truth, have never been afraid of an adoptee, and have certainly NEVER been afraid of a certain adoptee named Joan Mary Wheeler. – I may have been pissed off at Joan Wheeler, but never afraid. And I’ve never been afraid of those adoptees either. Even when they came over to our blog and used obscenities at me, or lectured me – the ones who used obscenities at me – I dismissed, because they were acting like little children. And I don’t deal with such little bullies. The ones who lectured me – were put right in their place. Even as recently as 2 months ago when another adoptee, a trained clinical psychologist dared to challenge me – and got put in her place.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – we may discuss the adoptees at times on this blog because they dare to put US down. We may occasionally discuss adoption issues on our blogs – but only when it pertains to what occured in our family. We have no issues with adoption. We have no issues with the reunion with our adopted-out birth sister (Joan). Our blogs are not about adoption. Our blogs are about the BEHAVIOR of a certain adoptee – Joan Mary Wheeler. And our blogs are about the LIES of a certain adoptee – Joan Mary Wheeler.

Anyone got a problem with that? Anyone around can’t handle the TRUTH? Well, then, you won’t like what you read on our blogs. Because we have EXTREME Truth-Telling here.

Ruth – comment 2

um wait a minute – I missed something here – because I was so busy thinking about how “afraid” I am of adoptees – and laughing my ass off about that. – after I wrote my comment, and pasted it to the body of the post – I was reviewing the rest of the post – and saw Gert’s thingy about the baby birds getting pushed out of the nest!

I had to go back and see what asshole wrote that – and yepper! – it was another wise statement from Joan.
Joan, Joan, Joan – your logic is so flawed – it is so laughable! Would someone PLEASE give this idiot a brain transplant?

Baby birds are pushed out of their nests when they are grown up enough TO MAKE A LIFE OF THEIR OWN. This happens all the time in nature. Lions do it – bears do it – tigers do it. Even HUMANS do it. It’s called standing back and letting the cub make it’s own mistakes to learn from them and grow. And be an ADULT.

In Joan’s case, she was probably never pushed out of the nest because perhaps the two humans who raised her could see that she isn’t adult enough to make it in life on her own. And she still hasn’t been able to. To this day,at the age of almost 56 – Joan can’t hold down a job, or make a meaningful life for herself. She forces her 25 year old daughter to work two jobs to support her. (confirmed by her father in a letter to me in January 2011).

Now if a bird had taken one of its hatchlings and dropped it in another bird’s nest, THEN Joan could compare a bird nest with her adoption.

Listen Joan, adoption and a parent letting its youngling go at the PROPER TIME are two different things. DUH!!!!!

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2 Comments
  1. Gert says “well I do agree that most people ARE afraid of the truth”
    oh yes, we know all too well that JOAN is afraid of the truth. That’s why in February 2010, 4 months after I started my blog to refute the lies contained in her book, Joan went to these silly adoptees and urged them to complain to WordPress to “shut those fuckheads down.”

    tsk, tsk, Joan. That wasn’t a very nice way to refer to your beloved BIRTH family, now is it?

    On several places, on the adoptee forum, and other internet sites, Joan says that on our blog, we call her names. But she fails to say that she calls us names. Oh, we’re not afraid of the TRUTH, are we Joan?

    No, Joan, if there is nothing you ever learned from knowing me these past 37 and a half years – learn THIS –

    I, Ruth Sippel Pace have never been afraid of the truth, have never been afraid of an adoptee, and have certainly NEVER been afraid of a certain adoptee named Joan Mary Wheeler. – I may have been pissed off at Joan Wheeler, but never afraid. And I’ve never been afraid of those adoptees either. Even when they came over to our blog and used obscenities at me, or lectured me – the ones who used obscenities at me – I dismissed, because they were acting like little children. And I don’t deal with such little bullies. The ones who lectured me – were put right in their place. Even as recently as 2 months ago when another adoptee, a trained clinical psychologist dared to challenge me – and got put in her place.

    I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – we may discuss the adoptees at times on this blog because they dare to put US down. We may occasionally discuss adoption issues on our blogs – but only when it pertains to what occured in our family. We have no issues with adoption. We have no issues with the reunion with our adopted-out birth sister (Joan). Our blogs are not about adoption. Our blogs are about the BEHAVIOR of a certain adoptee – Joan Mary Wheeler. And our blogs are about the LIES of a certain adoptee – Joan Mary Wheeler.

    Anyone got a problem with that? Anyone around can’t handle the TRUTH? Well, then, you won’t like what you read on our blogs. Because we have EXTREME Truth-Telling here.

  2. um wait a minute – I missed something here – because I was so busy thinking about how “afraid” I am of adoptees – and laughing my ass off about that. – after I wrote my comment, and pasted it to the body of the post – I was reviewing the rest of the post – and saw Gert’s thingy about the baby birds getting pushed out of the nest!

    I had to go back and see what asshole wrote that – and yepper! – it was another wise statement from Joan.
    Joan, Joan, Joan – your logic is so flawed – it is so laughable! Would someone PLEASE give this idiot a brain transplant?

    Baby birds are pushed out of their nests when they are grown up enough TO MAKE A LIFE OF THEIR OWN. This happens all the time in nature. Lions do it – bears do it – tigers do it. Even HUMANS do it. It’s called standing back and letting the cub make it’s own mistakes to learn from them and grow. And be an ADULT.

    In Joan’s case, she was probably never pushed out of the nest because perhaps the two humans who raised her could see that she isn’t adult enough to make it in life on her own. And she still hasn’t been able to. To this day,at the age of almost 56 – Joan can’t hold down a job, or make a meaningful life for herself. She forces her 25 year old daughter to work two jobs to support her. (confirmed by her father in a letter to me in January 2011).

    Now if a bird had taken one of its hatchlings and dropped it in another bird’s nest, THEN Joan could compare a bird nest with her adoption.

    Listen Joan, adoption and a parent letting its youngling go at the PROPER TIME are two different things. DUH!!!!!

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