Skip to content

Joan Wheeler really ought to do something to reduce her loneliness.

by on December 7, 2011
What makes us homesick? Could it be your soul talking to you? Perhaps you should listen!
 
I don’t know if I should laugh or cry! Why do these angry military people, on the forum for Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change, torture themselves? Do they really like wallowing in self-pity and lamenting so? Homesick! Sure everyone gets it, I have! Do I wish and think about my mother, who died when I was young, and feel longing? Of course! But I don’t see any need to lay down and wallow in it. The best remedy for emotional loneliness is to get out and HELP other people.
  
Joan Wheeler, as 1adoptee, comments (second paragraph) on another comment (first paragraph)
 
« Reply #6 on: November 25, 2011, 11:35:07 AM »
  
 
 When I was very little I used to get this sad, longing feeling that would periodically come over me and the best I could describe it was that I was “homesick.” I tried to explain that to my a-mother once and, as you can imagine, that did not go over very well.  She asked how could I be homesick when I was already home. I couldn’t understand it at the time either. But I think I have a good idea now.
  

Yes, this is exactly how I felt. Once, when I was sitting with my amom at a diner counter, drinking a coke out of a paper cone cup in that metal holder, that feeling came over me. It was very strong. I started to cry for no reason. I was very lonely. And then I heard a song on the juke box. I looked around me but didn’t know why the song was familiar. I think it was a song that was populaar when my mother was pregant with me. I was about three years old when this happened.

 
Gert here: How would Joan KNOW the song was popular when her mother was pregnant with her? At three years old Joan DIDN’T know that she was ADOPTED. At three years old, if she got some kind of lonely feeling, she DIDN’T know it was, or wasn’t, related to her birth mother and a song that was popular at the time. This is a prime example of how Joan Wheeler makes things up as she goes along and how she can spin her tale AFTER the fact.
 
Perhaps the reason that Joan, at age 3, felt lonely was because she was NOT getting the love that she needed from the adoptive mother.
 
It’s not a difficult thing to find out what songs were popular at any given time period and fit that into one’s personal story of being lonely. No, this is just another one of Joan’s ‘small voice in the wilderness’ stories.
 
Perhaps if Joan spoke to her soul and NOT with other depressed people, she might get out of her loneliness and get a life. If Joan has so much time on her hands, perhaps she ought to volunteer and help others out. She might be able to get in touch with her soul, if she did!
 
 
comment by
 
Joan amazes me. She really does.

And actually, I have to disagree with Gert here. I would rather NOT see Joan volunteering to help other people. With her illogic and psychotic rantings and ravings, her hate of infertile women (including me and our other sister Kathy), her hate of anybody who (gasp) ADOPTED a kid, Joan would mess them up for life. – no – I think it’s better that Joan leave people alone. She’s what is known as a psychic vampire. She wears people out. She takes up all the oxygen in the room. When she comes in people get anxious, tense, and when she leaves, there’s a collective sigh of relief. I’ve seen it happen. – or the room may empty out – everybody wants to get the hell away from her. I’ve seen that happen too.

Additional comment by Gert:
 
Yes, Ruth, I see your point!!
Being a volunteer myself for Hospice, I know that someone like Joan would NEVER pass the TRAINING that would be required to help others out!
 
I guess I was just wondering why she doesn’t DO SOMETHING to reduce her loneliness, she only wrote this bit on November 25, 2011!
 
At some point in time she really ought to LET GO of all this adoption crap and get a life!
 
another comment by

lol. Why the hell is Joan lonely anyway? What happened to her new/old boyfriend – the one she made such a fuss over on her blog “Springtime brings new love” – What happened to Russell? Where’s all her buddies from the writer’s group? Where is ANYbody in her life – GONE! Why? Because she pushed them all away with her bullshit. People can only take so much whining. People would like to have a conversation about topics other than adoption. People would like to be RESPECTED. They don’t want to be told they are wrong about everything. People don’t like to have their past decisions about their own lives questioned and put down every f’ing day for the past 40 years.

Joan is lonely because people, once they get to know the REAL Joan, run like hell away from her.

and by Gert:
Even in that book Joan likes to talk about and document ALL the old/new boyfriends and tell the entire world all about how nasty they are to her, how they don’t understand her etc. We have yet to put all the refuting of that book on these blogs, mine and Ruth’s, and believe me, you readers have NOT even seen the lengths that Joan will go to be KEEP from being lonely! She stays in an very abusive relationship with a guy, in 2007, because SHE can help him, because SHE needs to make sure that he knows and understands HER adoption. Oh wait, till I get THAT post up!
 
Ruth  lol, that’s right Gert, she actually stays in an abusive relationship BECAUSE she wanted to change Jimmy’s mind about adoption. She says over and over how she was frightened, wanted to call 911, witnessed him hitting his dog, and instead of her leaving his apartment, she lay curled up in a fetal postiion, then continued arguing with him that he was wrong about adoption. – oh, but I’m getting ahead of our narrative.

Yep- with Joan – it’s adoption, adoption, adoption. she has no other words in her vocabulary. She will put with ANYTHING, even being frightened by a violent man – in order to CHANGE him.

She sets HERSELF up for rejection and loneliness – time and time again. And when she is not at the receiving end of disrespect and violence, she herself gives disrespect and violence to others. That is all she knows – disrespectfulness and violence. Screaming matches, yelling at the top of her voice. It is just plain awful to be around her. I left her daughter’s 4th birthday party because Joan and her adoptive mother got into a screaming match and disrupted the party. I couldn’t stand the noise – their shrill yelling hurt my ears. I’m not used to all that drama, the yelling, the screaming, the violent fits.

Well, if Joan is “lonely” – she got what she set herself to be. And it isn’t like she wasn’t told by SEVERAL people what her behavior and what she says does to people. She just doesn’t want to be told that she is wrong. She will not learn social graces. She will not learn how to treat people with respect, so that they will WANT to be around her. So SHE makes HERSELF to be an outcast.

She was told that by her therapist waaaayyy back in 1984. (Joan told me herself on the phone what was said). The therapist said something to the effect that “If that is the way you want to live your life, then that’s how you will be. If you don’t want that in your life, than you need to stop doing that.”

There’s no room for whining. If you want something in your life to change then CHANGE it. If you want to live like a screaming bitch, then that’s what you’ll be doing. If you don’t, then you need to stop it. Simple as that.

 and from Gert again:
 
The therapist said something to the effect that “If that is the way you want to live your life, then that’s how you will be. If you don’t want that in your life, than you need to stop doing that.”
 
And Joan PUTS that in that book! as what ? proof that adoption has DAMAGED her?? this woman really doesn’t have a clue as to her own mental health and the damage that she has done to HERSELF and to OTHERS.
 
and she wonders why she is lonely!!
 
Advertisements
4 Comments
  1. Joan amazes me. She really does.

    And actually, I have to disagree with Gert here. I would rather NOT see Joan volunteering to help other people. With her illogic and psychotic rantings and ravings, her hate of infertile women (including me and our other sister Kathy), her hate of anybody who (gasp) ADOPTED a kid, Joan would mess them up for life. – no – I think it’s better that Joan leave people alone. She’s what is known as a psychic vampire. She wears people out. She takes up all the oxygen in the room. When she comes in people get anxious, tense, and when she leaves, there’s a collective sigh of relief. I’ve seen it happen. – or the room may empty out – everybody wants to get the hell away from her. I’ve seen that happen too.

  2. lol. Why the hell is Joan lonely anyway? What happened to her new/old boyfriend – the one she made such a fuss over on her blog “Springtime brings new love” – What happened to Russell? Where’s all her buddies from the writer’s group? Where is ANYbody in her life – GONE! Why? Because she pushed them all away with her bullshit. People can only take so much whining. People would like to have a conversation about topics other than adoption. People would like to be RESPECTED. They don’t want to be told they are wrong about everything. People don’t like to have their past decisions about their own lives questioned and put down every f’ing day for the past 40 years.

    Joan is lonely because people, once they get to know the REAL Joan, run like hell away from her.

  3. lol, that’s right Gert, she actually stays in an abusive relationship BECAUSE she wanted to change Jimmy’s mind about adoption. She says over and over how she was frightened, wanted to call 911, witnessed him hitting his dog, and instead of her leaving his apartment, she lay curled up in a fetal postiion, then continued arguing with him that he was wrong about adoption. – oh, but I’m getting ahead of our narrative.

    Yep- with Joan – it’s adoption, adoption, adoption. she has no other words in her vocabulary. She will put with ANYTHING, even being frightened by a violent man – in order to CHANGE him.

    She sets HERSELF up for rejection and loneliness – time and time again. And when she is not at the receiving end of disrespect and violence, she herself gives disrespect and violence to others. That is all she knows – disrespectfulness and violence. Screaming matches, yelling at the top of her voice. It is just plain awful to be around her. I left her daughter’s 4th birthday party because Joan and her adoptive mother got into a screaming match and disrupted the party. I couldn’t stand the noise – their shrill yelling hurt my ears. I’m not used to all that drama, the yelling, the screaming, the violent fits.

    Well, if Joan is “lonely” – she got what she set herself to be. And it isn’t like she wasn’t told by SEVERAL people what her behavior and what she says does to people. She just doesn’t want to be told that she is wrong. She will not learn social graces. She will not learn how to treat people with respect, so that they will WANT to be around her. So SHE makes HERSELF to be an outcast.

    She was told that by her therapist waaaayyy back in 1984. (Joan told me herself on the phone what was said). The therapist said something to the effect that “If that is the way you want to live your life, then that’s how you will be. If you don’t want that in your life, than you need to stop doing that.”

    There’s no room for whining. If you want something in your life to change then CHANGE it. If you want to live like a screaming bitch, then that’s what you’ll be doing. If you don’t, then you need to stop it. Simple as that.

Trackbacks & Pingbacks

  1. a couple of new posts… « Refuting a Book of Lies: Forbidden Family –

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: