Joan Wheeler’s memories of the womb! not!!
I saw a comment, posted by Joan Wheeler, AKA 1adoptee, wherein she continues her dangerous misrepresentation of facts. I also note signs that she may be heading for yet another depression. Why doesn’t she get the help she really needs in life? What kind of therapists keep Joan sick? Why do they not help her? Why doesn’t she drop this nonsense and get a life? What kind of ‘support group’ is the PUBLIC forum of Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change? All I see is a bunch of people crying and whining or going after people who are pro-adoption or adoptive parents!
Since my mom died while giving birth to me and I don’t know what she looked or sounded like, I don’t think I have any in utero memories. If I have any it’s because I imagine it like make-believe.
I’m sorry that your Mom died while giving birth to you, Anastsia. That’s so sad. My mother died when I was three months old, not the same thing, but close. When I met my nfather, he gave me photos of my mother so I could see what she looked like. I don’t have a memory of what she wounded like, but I do think those memories are deep inside me. I was told that her other children were climbing on her lap when she was pregnant with me and someone said, “Be careful not to hurt the baby.” If I were to be hypnotized, perhaps the sounds of their voices or my Mom’s could be brought back. I think I’m too sad to try it.
I agree. Joan’s torment is of her own making.
I lost MY mother when I was only three and a half. I didn’t have a mommy to get me thru my teen years. I had my father’s second wife and then a foster mother, but as nice as they were (and both were good to me), they were not the “cuddly” kind.
I didn’t have a mommy to hug me in congratulations when I finally learned to ride a two-wheel bike. Instead I got punished – because I had gone around the block when I wasn’t supposed to. (But my friends on the street cheered me on).
I didn’t have a mommy to see me graduate from high school or help me decorate my first apartment. I didn’t have a mommy to hold my hand while I went into life-saving surgery for an ectopic pregnancy, knowing full well that I would come out with MY life saved, but my unborn son would NOT be saved. (But I had the hand of my best friend).
I didn’t have a mommy help me dress or do my hair on my wedding day. (But Gert’s daughter and grand-daughter did these for me).
I cry for my mommy sometimes, and since her grave is only about 2 miles from my house, I go there and take her flowers from my garden.
What I don’t do – is sit on the living room floor staring at a picture of my mother and drink cheap wine and wake up on the floor the next day – as Joan describes in her book. Because that is not honoring her.
What that was – was Joan’s beginning her descent into alcoholism.
Joan is not suffering from mommy loss – she’s an alcoholic. She showed up at my house one Sunday morning at 5am drunk, crying that her husband would find out about her latest affair. I went back to bed in disgust.
What Joan does NOT need is a ditzy psycho-therapist that keeps her in therapy year after year (probably because she’s got a good income there) – what Joan needs to do is go to Alcoholics Anonymous and get rid of the booze. And stop the damn whining.
“Oh, the pain, the pain of it all.” – Dr. Zachary Smith, (as spoken by actor Jonathan Harris on TV’s “Lost in Space”)
and, another comment from Gert:
Yes, Joan is certainly ‘lost in space’…she never heard or learned the message from the robot in that show when he waved his arms and said ‘danger, danger, warning, warning! My CHILDREN learned those valuable lessons very early on…namely…watch out for your own behavior!
Ruth makes some very good points…many people have lived a life without a parent and they don’t wallow in self-pity and continuously fall into the dark pits of their own making. Also, that Joan does not HONOR any parent but will exploit them for her own purposes. Joan’s documentation of her own descent into her mental illness is disgusting! What possible positive is there for that?
Joan states, in many places and ways, that we siblings did not want her to write about adoption reform! That is a lie! We never said that, WHAT we never wanted was for her to write ABOUT our LIVES! And Joan VIOLATED our trust!
As Ruth points out, when Joan writes about her despair she DOESN’T write about ALL her episodes, as when she shows up at Ruth’s house drank at 5 am after having a sexual encounter while married! No, Joan only tells what she wants to tell and THAT is why Joan doesn’t want us, the birth siblings, to speak out…because we have the REST OF THE STORY to tell and we shall continue telling it!