Teaching moments lost…on Joan Wheeler!
Perhaps you’re too young to remember Nelson Mandela’s 70th birthday concert when Whitney stood up to be counted against apartheid which eventually led to his release and being awarded the Nobel Prize? Her performance was warm and more than competent.She made the right choice that Day!!
eagoodlife….thanks for that info…I didn’t know that… even though I am ‘old’ enough. I just don’t follow Whitney Houston’s or Nelson Mandela’s activities….
The point of the article about her was that many people, including Whitney, did NOT learn how to get abuse and addictions out of their lives! I used that article to refer to a adoptee, my birth sister, who has NOT learned to get abuse and addictions out of her lives and how she blames everyone for her problems.
This blog is NOT interested in any adoption issues….we are only interested in EXPOSING the harmful deeds and words of Joan Wheeler against us, the birth siblings.
By all means take a look around at this blog and it’s sister-site… ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com so that you will know the purposes of our blogs.
Furthermore…I made a decision some 25 years ago…that I will no longer have any mental, emotional or physical abuse happen to me again….and…I have been FREE of any form of abuse within my life…except from Joan Wheeler….hench these blogs to show her lies and hate.
That is the PURPOSE of this blog and the use of the article about Whitney….to LEARN SOMETHING…that a person CAN get abuse and addiction OUT OF THEIR LIVES!
They can and then need to be super careful about not abusing others and being mindful of the rights of others to make their own choices.
When Whitney Houston died, I went on facebook and expressed my disgust at the way people were “celebrating” her life. Flags at half-mast? When we have homeless veterans – veterans that risked their lives for our country? And what was Whitney? A JUNKIE! A junkie wrapped up in a beautiful face with an incredible voice.
Substance abuse has gotten so out of hand in our society – to the point that we no longer think it is abnormal. When a child is brought up their parents (mother + father, or single-parent) who abuses substances, than that is all that child knows – drug use and alcoholism seems normal to them.
This is the same with domestic violence. When a child is brought up with abuse around them – then they think that that abuse is normal.
We birth sisters of Joan Wheeler have long suspected that Joan suffered abuse – both physical and mental – at the hands of her adoptive parents. I know that she suffered verbal abuse from her adoptive mother. Because I witnessed it. I witnessed several screaming matches between Joan and her amother. Horrible. The screeching, ear-splitting yelling! ugh.
Joan chronicles in her book that both her aparents were alcoholics. And Joan is an alcoholic as well. And she in turn, was abusive – verbally, mentally and physically to her ex-husband and to her children. She has been verbally and mentally abusive to me. I think she knows what would happen if she dared to be physical with me. – I’d lay her out flat. And her whole book is emotionally and mentally abusive to us, and many other people.
Joan was damaged way before she was reunited with us, her birth sisters. And for her to continue to blame us for her damaged life is unfair and needs to stop.
And as much as I have some modicum of sympathy for her – for her abusive childhood – my sympathy stops when she in turns abuses me. She needs to learn to stop her rotten behavior. And to stop going on the internet and saying that we, her birth sisters are jealous of her and blame her for our mother’s death. She needs to stop saying that we hate her because she was adopted and had a better life than us. And she needs to stop saying that all of our problems stem from the fact that she was adopted.
No, we write our blogs not because of any adoption issue – or that we are jealous of Joan – we write our blogs because of Joan’s own actions.
Just as you are entitled to express your opinions isn’t she entitled to express hers? Her experience will not be your experience who is to say any of you are ‘right’ or ‘wrong’? We can’t dispute experience, it is ours, we lived it, others may not like it or like us expressing our views.In life there are many viewpoints, in adoption and the adopted life many, many experiences which are not always understood by non-adoptees. Why don’t you write your own book giving your views?
True, Joan’s experiences cannot be fully understood by us, but that is not the point of our blogs. We are not interested in writing a book – we are giving our views right here on this blog and our other blog “Refuting a Book of Lies: Forbidden Family” at http://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/
I suggest you look over that blog, particularly these 3 top pages listed on the banner of my blog:
Read Before Commenting on this blog
What is Demanded from Joan Wheeler
Why Forbidden Family was pulled from publication
Joan is entitled to her opinion, but when she is putting forth falsehoods, she steps over the line. So many people put forth lies and misrepresentations of others, and try to get away with it by saying “well, that’s my opinion or viewpoint.” This is what Joan has done. What Joan has done has twisted the facts of her adoption – she accuses us, her birth sisters of ruining her life – which we have not done.
In her book, which Joan continues to say is “the truth,” Joan reports that I have an arrest record, was placed on probation. This is completely false. On my blog, I have posted the actual court documents that prove that I do not have an arrest record.
When Joan reports on the internet “details” of her adoption, she always gives a false story – she is telling stories of MY childhood – and she is telling wrong stories. This is NOT giving an opinion. This is lying.
What we ask, nay DEMAND, is that when Joan puts forth her views on adoption, she keeps them to the subject at hand: adoption. Her viewpoints of MY experiences as an infertile woman is flawed. She made a mockery of my miscarriage in her book by saying that I “merely claimed to want children.” That is not expressing an opinion. She was never inside my head. But she was there when I had my miscarriage – she saw my tears.
So her OPINION that I merely only claimed to want children is a lie. And most of her views and opinions are lies.
The purpose of this blog and its sister blog, is to refute the lies that Joan has written in her book, on various internet sites and to restore the honor of our family, which she has dragged through the mud. She has not only slammed us, but extended members of our family, our parents, our uncles, my cousin.
She gives only HER twisted side of things – for example, my cousin – who was one of the sweetest persons on the planet. She would not play Joan’s games. When Joan sent her harassing mail, Gail sent it right back. Gail notified the police department. The police told Joan to stop. She didn’t. The police placed a harassment charge on her and a one-year order of protection was handed down. But Joan writes in her book that it was Gail who filed the charge. But what is Joan’s “opinion” on HOW she ended up in court? She wrote that it was ME who “poisoned” Gail against her, and when she (Joan) was merely writing Gail on a medical issue, Gail (being poisoned by Ruth) filed harassment charges on her.
On November 3, 2009, I was notified by email that a family member had died. Joan was originally named for this woman (Doris), so I knew that Joan should be told. I called my father and asked if he still had Joan’s phone number – because I knew that a few months earlier he and Joan had gotten into a fight. My father said yes, he was tired. He gave me the number. He knew I was going to call Joan. I did. What was Joan’s reaction? “How did you get this number?” “Dad gave it to me.” “BIG mistake.” “Whatever, I’m calling to let you know that Aunt Doris died the other day.” “Thank you for telling me this, but I don’t want to hear from you, YOU F’ING B, M.F’ER.” She began screaming obscenities at me. She was screaming so hard I couldn’t understand what she was saying.
Her OPINION on this legitimate phone call? I was harassing her. I was calling various family members to get her phone number out of them to harass her and interfere with her life. And she puts this warped OPINION of me and my respectful communication to her as an attempt to create trouble for her. And reports this on the internet. NO, this is NOT an “opinion” – this is a LIE, it is SLANDER, it is LIBEL.
The two comments by eagoodlife seem to be contradicting themselves…
The first one…says….They can and then need to be super careful about not abusing others and being mindful of the rights of others to make their own choices….
Oh here we see that eagoodlife recognizes that the offender NEEDS to be careful about NOT abusing again and be MINDFUL of the RIGHTS of others! That’s great…that is what we have been saying right along…
But then….eagoodlife seem to have a very different opinion….saying….Just as you are entitled to express your opinions isn’t she entitled to express hers? Her experience will not be your experience who is to say any of you are ‘right’ or ‘wrong’? We can’t dispute experience, it is ours, we lived it, others may not like it or like us expressing our views.In life there are many viewpoints, in adoption and the adopted life many, many experiences which are not always understood by non-adoptees. Why don’t you write your own book giving your views?….
What gives here? Since WHEN does the criminal get the RIGHT to express their opinion??? this is no court of law here…Joan already had her right to express herself…and NOW she is paying the prices for lying and expoiting!!! The punishment is OURS to give out. Her experiences have NOTHING to do with our lives…she has no right to lie about us, period. She did NOT live my life nor anyone else’s life, but her own….just because she didn’t like my childrearing of MY children, did not give her the right to interfer with MY parental authority and call false child abuse reports on me!
Don’t give me this self-righteous nonsense about I can’t understand the adoptee because I’m not one bullshit….I have been the VICTIM of this adoptee….read the blogs and LEARN about the behavior of the adoptee called Joan Wheeler.
So please tell me…which is it…should the adoptee, who caused the abuse to me, my sisters and brother, my father, my mother, my children, my entire family….BE SUPER CAREFUL NOT TO ABUSE US over and over again and be MINDFUL OF THE RIGHTS OF OTHERS….or…should we the victims of the adoptee…bow down and ALLOW the adoptee the right to continue to tell her experiences, which are libelous, slanderous lies…because we don’t understand her???
Which is it….Please get real!
No idea, nor am I interested in a long running family dispute or in arguing with any of you so I will unfollow and leave you to your disputes.
of course you have no idea. as with most adoptees that are full of contradictions, when confronted with your contradictory statements you just hide tail and run. This is not called “arguing” – it is a debate. And in a debate, you had better back your words up. You got caught in a contradiction, and instead of clarifying yourself, you run off. (“I am not interested in … arguing with any of you…”).
But at least you did have the decency to state you want no part of our saga and you will take your leave of us.
Good Journey Von.