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2 of 2 Dissection of Joan Wheeler’s words, lies and hate-speak on a Adoptive Families Circle discussion April 2012, part two

by on May 3, 2012

‘What is said in society is heard for generations and people repeat it and believe it’…quote by Joan Wheeler

I hope that Joan eats these words, for it is the very sentiment of WHY the birthsiblings are speaking out against her…for what she has said IS HEARD and REPEATED AND BELIEVED and everything that she says is a lie!

here is the link to part one ….

https://gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/2012/05/03/dissection-of-joan-wheelers-words-lies-and-hate-speak-on-a-adoptive-families-circle-discussion-april-2012-part-one/

and before we get to this post there is an UPDATE NEEDED

I have had to create a new blog and a Facebook page 2015 to counter yet another lying book

https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/

https://www.facebook.com/dupedbyadoption1

NOW to continue with this post…

Continuing now on with the hate that Joan has for any pro-adoption position and how she searchs out threads so she can beat these people up. I am using the intials HO for halforphan and JW for Joan Wheeler; is she doesn’t like it, too bad.

THIRD POST BY JOAN – Thanks for your prayers. I accept them even though I don’t share your religion. My pain is from herniated disk in my neck and muscle spasms that strain to hold my head up.

 Gert here…HO/JW must get that dig in about religion and she doesn’t know enough to get OFF the compter!

Yes, adoption is a class issue. While you may not agree or see yourself as rich, ….. You may be angered with my words here. Please understand that I see this all the time. As the recipient of someone else’s child, you benefit because you now have the child, whereas, the other parents lost. ….(in response to negative feelings and prejudice) No, it is the other way around. I repeat: I lost my entire family and my name and my rights to my birth certificate. My legal birth certificate is filled with lies. I see no prejudice here on my behalf. I tell the truth. I am not prejudice. I would have rather been raised by my family of birth than to be adopted.

Gert here…that’s right she doesn’t allow the other’s view point, she always has to be correct.

You can give your opinions on how you see the birth certificate issue. May I remind you that I have been in adoption reform for over 38 years and have researched law. I am in personal contact with adoption experts in Holland where they have 1 birth certificate and 1 adoption certificate and both are needed for adoptee’s identification and citizenship.(and on and on)…I am not preaching to you. I am sharing my thoughts. I am not Christian and I do not preach sermons. You are on the defensive because you are reading opposing viewpoints from your own.

Gert here…sure she’ll allow someone to give their opinions but she MUST remind everyone about her years of expertize as well as a good dose of condenscending attitude…no wonder people are turned off by her.

It seems to me that family counseling is in order for all to have reciprocal caring relationships with each other. No, I will not use anything against you. I hope you will not continue to be sick to your stomach. It is fear, worry, defensiveness that prevents learning. I am not at all upset here. I have lived my life and know peace. It is you who are distressed.

Gert here…and here is DOCTOR, SOCIAL WORKER HO/JW being the best she can be! And she is PERFECT and in Peace…it is the other person who is distressed!

Yes, parents who do not do the work to improve their lives frustrate me, and other workers, too. We can try to help some people, but if they do not want to change or cannot change, then they lose out on life….There is absolutely no reason why a child should have to give up his place in his entire family and give up his name in exchange for a family to take care of him and love him.

Gert here…what a pompous ass HO/JW is…she speaks these words to others and refuses to live them herself

“You will never convince me that adoption shouldn’t exist.”
Okay. I’m not the only adoptee who is in adoption reform. There are millions of us around the world.

Gert here…and this is the reason why HO/JW and the others go out there to browbeat pro-adoption people! 

“I don’t expect to make an impact on you or change your opinion.”

You are impacting me. We’re having a dialogue. I am not angry with you as a person. It is the system that is the problem and people’s attitudes in general that are skewed in America. Didn’t you read what other adoptees posted here ….. No, you won’t change my opinion. I have been fighting for change in adoption since I was 18 in 1974.

Gert here…HO/JW is so full of herself that she can’t see her own illogic as it comes out of her mouth.

My objective is to add to the discussion here. Since I am new to this site, I will probably start a new post about birth certificates. But I have included most of my points here, and not a new post, because this is to show the reasons for dissatisfaction with adoption by an adoptee who has lived adoption for 56 years…. It is not easy to be a stay at home Mom as you are working hard as a Mom! Unpaid, too.

Gert here…No HO/JW’s objective is NOT to add to the discussion, she will switch at a moment’s notice if she gets TOO much flack. She AGAIN has to give the appearance that she has been at it a long time, which is very misleading. Does she have to get the ‘unpaid’ remark in there? Stay at home mom MEANS UNPAID!

Ah, I would like to share my story so others can learn and not make the same mistakes, but I do not promote open adoption. I see no importance of open adoption at all. That’s your agenda. I wouldn’t mind discussing what went wrong in my adoption, or what went right. and on and on….BUT she  (adopted mother) said to me while I was growing up that one reason she adopted me was to have someone to take care of her when she died. She’s lucky I didn’t abandon her with the way she treated me most of my life. I am not Christian, I acted out of love and human kindness.

Gert here…and sharing HO/JW’s story is WHAT the birth siblings object to the MOST, and look at the sentiment that HO is NOT ASHAMED to state…how ‘lucky’ the dying woman was that HO didn’t abandon her! There’s that religion comment and of course HO still has love and human kindness…NOT.

I don’t have a fear of open adoption. I know exactly what it is and am opposed to it….. It is a business!…Please read books….but none of them are made known by adoption agencies because they don’t want adoptive parents to know what’s out there….I am only giving information. I am not being counterproductive. It is up to adoptive parents here to follow my suggestions to read and research and to attend conferences. Hey, I’ve taken my entire day and evening writing here today. If I didn’t care, I wouldn’t be sitting home alone right now.

Gert here…and if you didn’t get it the first time around, that HO/JW will spend all her time browbeating and bullying pro-adoption people, remember that she has pain in her neck, is on pain meds and still spends a day and night on the computer telling people what they NEED to know! Who is she kidding here…home alone… then who was THAT MASKED MAN, PILGRIM, WHO CAME OUT OF THE CLOSET OF HO’S MIND TO ATTACK THE BIRTHSIBLINGS.

It is assumptions of others that make the problem worse. Yes, there is a fine line.

Gert here…HO/JW is very good at assumptions, her whole libelous book was about assumptions, that is why the birthsiblings have been exposing all the lies and behavior.

I can’t really explain here the extent of what happened to me. It was truly bizarre. Whole families mixed up with misperceptions. It wasn’t just directed at me….and on and on…did not mean to anger you by my comments. You simply are not used to hearing what an adoptee has to say…. But adoptees’ voices should be heard because we have been harmed by what adoption has done to us.

Gert here…all the retelling of untruths, for what purpose, to prove that she was ‘kept in the dark’? It is this retelling of untruths that the birthfamily has GREAT OBJECTS TO, because HO contunues to spread lies.  
…You just don’t want to hear it nor believe it. ..Again, read… be sure to watch the show…I cannot be responsible for your feelings in reaction to me giving you information. Only you are responsible for your feelings and reactions….If he is angry, that is his choice. If he is sad, that is his choice. If he leaves both sets of parents behind, that is his choice. He will have plenty of books to read, plenty of adoption materials to sift through on his own.

Gert here...HO/JW says ‘here is the information and if you don’t want to accept that don’t blame her! She doesn’t even take responsiblity for her actions why would she take it for others. Cold hearted!

Why is this woman a positive role model and we adoptees here are not? Because she is a happy adoptee? Because she doesn’t want to be search or be found? Because she is not angry? When adoptive parents hold up an adoptee like that it is because they do not want to recognize that there are problems with adoption.

Gert here…see…these angry adoptees MUST make everyone know just how angry they are…and this is a healthy life?

…and on and on….Nothing is saved written by you. You have nothing to fear. I am not out to hunt you down or anything like that. I don’t know who you are and I don’t want to know. You are not a threat to me and I am not a threat to you.

Gert here…but heaven help you if HO/JW believes you are her enemy, she will never let you forget how you hurt her.

Again, now that I have spent my whole day here, I hope all of you will at least take a look at the books I’ve suggested and read about …. We all could use an education.  Posted by halforphan56 on Apr 21, 2012 at 2:01am

Gert here…too bad HO/JW doesn’t have time to get an education!

FOURTH POST BY JOAN:  – AND WHERE SHE STARTS THE ATTACKS ON US FIRST on this thread RIGHT HERE:
If my adoptive parents had read books that I brought home since being found in 1974 by siblings they never wanted me to know, we would have had a better understanding of each other. Instead, they yelled at me. And I was 18.Same thing for my natural family. Ignore or put down what the adoptee has to offer because they just wanted to know what I turned out to be. Not interested in who I am, just who I looked like or sounded like, or a baby sister who didn’t fit their idea of what I should be.Any and all parents who have lost a child to adoption should read these books, too. Knowledge is power. Thank you for understanding. Posted by halforphan56 on Apr 21, 2012 at 3:20am

Gert here…like every parent has read ‘baby book’s before having children! I surely didn’t! and I bet neither did HO/JW! Everything that she says here about the birth family are HER IMPRESSIONS and are not based on any facts. She was ALWAYS confrontational in her style, which she LEARNED from the adoptive family. The birth family was NOT confrontational and just wanted her to stop bothering us. We had no pre-conceived notion about her therefore there was no mold that we wanted her to fit into…this is all in HO/JW’s brain and not in reality. 

SIXTH POST BY JOAN: – SECOND PARAGRAPH – SHE ADMITS TO ANOTHER POSTER THAT SHE ASSUMED SOMETHING, AND GOT CHASTISED FOR ASSUMING SOMETHING.

“I only mentioned another adult person who was adopted in my son’s life because she is a real person that he interacts with on a weekly or biweekly bases. Her state of happiness or unhappiness has nothing to do with it. Why did you assume that’s  what I meant?”

Well, you didn’t explain. I assumed that her state of happiness was related to your interest in keeping her around for your adopted son. From our experiences as adoptees in the reform movement, happy adoptees are thrown in our faces as proof that what we say has no validity.

Gert here…what logic!! Just because people are happy these angry adoptees have to make a big deal over it and then go out and beat up people OUT OF THEIR HAPPINESS.

…“I would also like to see open adoption agreements as legally enforcable, but since you don’t agree with open adoption then I guess that doesn’t pertain to this discussion.”

If you felt so much love you would not have taken another woman’s baby form her, and from his father. You have legal rights to their child. You claim you share your adopted son’s life with them out of love. For him? For them? Your son has no power: he is a minor child. Why should open adoption agreements be made enforceable? Just another form of adoption. Why not fight for every parent to be empowered to keep their children?

Gert here…and this is HOW adoption REFORM will come about…by browbeating and humiliating people!

You want open adoption to be an option. Why? Again, I say to you: Why do you, why did you, take another woman’s infant as your own? She is not her son’s legal parent anymore. And no one has talked about his father. Hmm…and on and on….their integrity as adoptive parents.Good, upstanding Christians, they are. And they are Christians.

Gert here…more browbeating and harassing people just because they are happy and are pro-adoption and of course a good dose of anti-christians..

I did not misunderstand your comments about birth certificates. Remember: I have invested 38 years in legal research, psychology, and social work to understand adoption. I am not a lawyer, but I have read laws of my state, other states,

Gert here…yes she has invested a lot of years of hate to keep her angry up!

I will never see adoption as being necessary. If you were relinquished, adopted, and led a life of lies at the hands of your adoptive parents, perhaps you’d see it differently. and on and on…You have not commented on family preservation, kinship care, guardianship. That tells me these concepts are new to you. If they are new to you, you need an education. None of these options are made clear to pregnant women and the fathers.

Gert here…and why is HO/JW on this discussion thread? Because she has a NEED to bully, browbeat and harass pro-adoption people to get back at her adoptive parents for loving her.

If …..were a male, would that be a problem? Not to me. I’m not afraid of men. and on and on Posted by halforphan56 on Apr 21, 2012 at 5:14am

Gert here…this is NEWS to the birthsiblings, about HO/JW not being afraid of men! In her book she details each and every abuse that angry-abusive men did to her. In fact, her alter-ego, imaginary friend Pilgrim/Champ, is a man and is very very abusive and angry. So HO/JW has challedged her angry into a male that she is NOT afraid of because it is her!

After this, Ruth posted and HO/JW attacked and then I posted and HO/JW assumed the identity of Pilgrim, who attacked us the birthsiblings. As soon as birthsiblings show up and give the other side of the story, JW/HO turns real ulgy and viscious. She is still doing it, now under the disguise of Champ with yet another blog against the voices of truth…the birth siblings.

To see the whole thread, which has NOT been taken off, interestingly see…

http://www.adoptivefamiliescircle.com/groups/topic/Question_re_taking_postings_off/

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