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The rantings of Joan Wheeler after she is confronted by birthsibling (Ruth) on public discussion thread, April 2012, part three/conclusion

by on May 14, 2012

After Ruth posted and I posted, then Joan’s alter (Pilgrim) posted (we have already shown that insanity). The following part three can be seen @

http://www.adoptivefamiliescircle.com/groups/topic/Question_re_taking_postings_off/
 
I am using the initials HO for halforphan and JW for Joan Wheeler.

 continuing from part two…

 HO/JW says Yet the harassers kept it up, year after year.With all of this bickering, you adoptive parents here may think that reunion is not a good thing and that records should remain sealed. No. No matter how destructive my sisters are to me and my adoptive family and my children and my now-ex-husband, that has nothing to do with the civil and human rights of adoptees to their true personal history, or access to their birth records and adoption records. I have been saying the same things for 38 years. Nothing has changed. If we were not separated due to adoption, we would have had each other during our childhood. I have said this before and I’ll say it again: I love my siblings, but they are destructive and I don’t want them in my life.

Gert here.. here we go again with the ‘holy trinity’, we are three people not one! HO thinks that this exchange is HELPING to show the evils of adoption! Fool! Perhaps it’s true that if we were not separated JW/HO would not be so crazy…but it is useless to think about that because it DIDN’T happen that way. Perhaps she would still have been as crazy as she is…it is NOT unusual for one family member to have some illness physical or mental that others do not have. JW does NOT love us and we do NOT love her…there has been too much pain inflicted by her for any sense of love. She is fond of saying she ‘pity’s’ us, well I don’t her…she is a very dangerous person. It always amazes me to see her words…describing us when it totally fits herself! She truly has NO concept what the three of us are as people, period, we are what she has created in her brain and it doesn’t change as the years go by.

HO/JW says And yes, our sister in UK screamed over the phone to a friend of mine in 1993, “All she ever does is complain about adoption. But she escaped. Grandfather molested us girls. She escaped.” My friend was so shaken by this that he called me up and asked me if I knew. The story was verified by two other people, one was our brother, and the other is too old and won’t talk about it now. So, I am not lying. I am sick to death of these people meddling in my life when I have had numerous police report and harassment charges placed on them to leave me alone. They even charged my 80 year old adoptive mother with sex abuse of my children because, as the report said, I was having sex on my couch with my sister’s boyfriend. My kids, my mother, and I went through three months of investigation because of this. No, I did not have sex with my sister’s boyfriend. She thinks I did. My mother was 80 years old! Who would make an accusation like that to an old woman? My sisters have posted my adoptive mother’s real estate paperwork on their blogs. Why? My sisters say that I breastfed my son until he was four. Why are they saying that when they know it is a lie? I have been divorce for nearly two decades, and my ex lives in another state. Why are my sisters contacting him today?

Gert here..Perfect example of how NOTHING is sacred to HO/JW and how at any moment she relishes telling the secrets of family members, that she claims she loves. She doesn’t even have respect for the adoptive mother, she just blindly retells all manner of hearsay and sexual crap! Why should she be concerned that we have documents placed on blogs…JW/HO has done the same…she has MY FAMILY RECORDS there…JW/HO is NOT a member of MY family, legally or morally, only by her genes can she claim to be in the family and she destroyed so much there that NO ONE wants her…why then does she keep talking about OUR family. She doesn’t like it that ‘rumors’ have been told about her breastfeeding, having sex, and other things, but doesn’t give a damn about what SHE tells about US. No more double standard! If we have ‘dirt’ on JW/HO it will be presented, because JW/HO has done it to us, first by writing and publishing a hateful libelous book and then retelling things over and over again on the internet.

HO/JW says Oh, I see, because he says the reason our marriage fell apart is because I wouldn’t get a job? No, we agreed I would stay home with our children. He was out with strippers and prostitutes. I left him because of that. And he was in and out of work himself. Who was there to keep our family together? Who worked a part time job when the kids were older? And why are you contacting my ex on facebook? Still causing trouble, that’s why, both of you.

Gert here..see the sexual crap again, JW/HO really has no shame or self-respect. What she says here is very different from what she wrote in the book, she changes the story to suit the audience. I was not the one who contacted JW’s ex-husband and there is NO crime in that anyway, his daughter IS a relative of ours and JW/HO can NOT stop that! I myself have had a email exchange with JW/HO’s daughter…is that a crime? Sure, to JW because she doesn’t want any contact. Why would a contact indicate ‘causing trouble’ perhaps it was a SHARED concern over the daughter/niece. Does JW forget how she was CONCERNED about my minor children and told them they didn’t have to listen to me? Why is it okay for her to do that to me, but we are not allowed to contact her ex or her daughter?


HO/JW says I will stand up in any court of law to defend myself. I know I am telling the truth. Just stay out of my life. You have made a mess out of my life. Stop contacting adoption reform people, stop spying on my adoption friends, stop writing emails to professors to get my professional friends into trouble just because you want revenge because you don’t like what I wrote in my book. If you didn’t mistreat me, then the story of my life would still be written. I would still be exposing the wrongs of the adoption system and telling about my reunion, good or bad. The story does not revolve around you. Other things went on with other people, like my relationship with my adoptive parents and my natural father.In my comments here, on this thread, I wrote against adoption and spoke directly to comments made to me, I did not bash my sisters until one of them showed up here. Do you see any of my adoptive family here? No. Believe it or not, there are adoptive cousins that dearly love me and I them. The ones who belittled me in the past do not follow me online because they realized they are now in their sixties, their mother is in her 90s, and they have lives to attend to.

Gert here.. Right she would love her day in court, but I’m afraid that is not going to happen, unless we all get lots of $$..so the next best thing is the public arena and it looks as if JW/HO doesn’t have the abilities to handle that. Makes you wonder what kind of scenes would she put on in a court; does she really think they would stand there and listen or read her? I hate to break this to her…I have not had anything to do with the mess of her life…I don’t need to take any credit for that because it is all her own doing. I don’t want revenge, I want JUSTICE and if that means going to adoption professionals, professors and her friends I shall continue to do so, because they all MUST be made aware of the damage HO/JW has done. If these people have a beef with me, they know how to get in touch with me and take action against me; they have not…so either they have heard me and chosen to ignore me or have spoken to JW/HO or placed it on their blogs, doesn’t matter to me in the least…THEY now KNOW that the birth family is NOT taking anything from JW without a fight and they would be wise to BACK AWAY and let the birth family have their JUSTICE with this bitch!

continuing on…I love the way JW/HO says the story does not revolve around you and yet at every turn we are at the center, thanks to JW/HO talking about us! JW/HO says…I did not bash my sisters until one of them showed up here …Well what she has done, before we showed up, was to bash/trash my PARENTS! Stupid! I don’t give a damn about anyone else in this…I am only concerned that MY PARENTS AND MY FAMILY is being EXPLOITED. If JW/HO is so stupid that she can’t see what she is doing that is not my problem, others see it and know exploitation when they see it. Grow up JW/HO and put it to bed…why do you have to tell us that you have relatives who love you? Are you so insecure that you have to make sure people know that?

 
HO/JW says I am 56. My sisters are in their 60s. When will they stop bothering me? I live in fear everyday. My adoptive mother was afraid of them. Yet, Ruthie wanted to come to our house to tell me something about another family member. Then, not satisfied that she was told to stay away, a few years go by and then she got my unlisted phone number form our father to inform me of the death of our aunt. Someone else could have informed me. When it has been said numerous times I want no further contact from you, do not come over to my house and do not call me.Perhaps other people here really want to discuss adoption reform, or how adoptive parents can parent their young adoptees in an honest way to avoid as much heartache as possible. Perhaps adoptive parents here want to improve their attitudes and adjust their opinions to prepare for the future, when, perhaps, their adoptee is found by an entire natural family they never knew, and that the adoptive parents want to be supportive. I’ve given names of authors and books for a reason. A therapist wrote here she backs that suggestion. Adoptive families need help in raising the adoptees they already have.

Gert here..The question is when will JW/HO stop talking and trashing us and our family? If she lives in fear that’s her problem, if she is worried that we will speak up against her, then she needs to shut her mouth, it’s really very simple. Here we go again with the plural…Kathy lives in another country, I haven’t seen the adoptive mother since 1992 in a public park so if Ruth has been around PLEASE name the individual and stop saying 3 different people did something! JW/HO’s beefs here are between her and what she did to Ruth. Would HO/JW stop with this self-righteous bullshit; like she NEVER wrote any letters to me! I already blogged about it and her letter and my response is here on this blog. If JW/HO wants to CHANGE the world of adoption….go to CONGRESS and those that MAKE the laws, and stop beating people up who WANT to adopt. What do I care about the world of adoption, it is the trashing to my family that HO/JW is doing that I am concerned about.  

HO/JW says My adoptive parents buried their heads in the sand, pretending that my natural family did not exist. Just pray to Jesus and all will be well, they said, but when I was found, Jesus was not there. Religion didn’t help me. I was 18 and in high school. It was abusive what happened to me. An only child, pounced upon by siblings who wanted their baby sister, but who didn’t know how to conduct themselves in finding me, nor did they know how to treat my adoptive parents. I was an only child who was sheltered when all adoptive relatives―- all 9 of my adoptive father’s siblings and their spouses and their kids, and my adoptive mother’s 4 siblings and their kids―- everyone knew the truth except me. They all had their own versions of the truth so they all told me what was right and what was wrong. I was never allowed to have my own thoughts. So whose version of the truth is right? I have a right to tell my story and that is what I am doing. You do not have the right to badger me, harass me, or interfere with my business of writing or selling books, adoption presentations or book signings, nor do you have any right to ruin my reputation. You were not identified in my book, but you made it your business to hunt me down.
 

Gert here.. It is unfortunate that JW/HO was adopted by two sick weak people and that she suffered child-abuse, it really is a shame, but that does not mean that the birth family must have everything about them dragged in the mud of what those adoptive parents said to JW/HO and for her to repeat them over and over again…she needs to shut her mouth! JW/HO if religion didn’t help you…keep searching…that is a core problem with you…you have NO spiritual cornerstone because you have turned your back on ANY religious tradition and/or work at it and not on this constant browbeating of pro-adoption people. And all she can do is speak against the religion that all four of her parents were and mockes and condemns the religious beliefs of blood realitives.  If she had a problem with the way her adoptive family did things, that has nothing to do with the birth family and we are DONE with being her victim! These pro-adoption people DON’T want to hear her bullshit.

continuing on…So whose version of the truth is right? NO ONE’S AND EVERYONE’S…you don’t have the right to present a true book that is nothing but YOUR impressions! Your book and retellings are SUBJECTIVE and NOT OBJECTIVE and therefore are HATEFUL AND HURTFUL to other people.

do not have right to interfere with my business of writing or selling books, adoption presentations or book signings…oh but I do, particularly when you lied about everything, the general public needs to be aware of the character and deeds of the author!

any right to ruin my reputation…JW/HO did that all by herself.

You were not identified in my book, but you made it your business to hunt me down….NO YOU DID identify us…you gave ENOUGH private information to make an identification…and YOU…named us on the internet BEFORE the book was out and BEFORE we knew about it. And anyone who libels and slanders us ought to find a real good hiding place, because we have a right to defend ourselves. If you don’t like it, take me to court!

HO/JW says Truth is, my sisters never wanted me to write my book, or any other article in the paper. They ridiculed me every chance they got, sending me hate mail and hate phone calls, just as my adoptive family did. They all wanted the adoptee to shut up.How about the threats from my sisters that I better not sully our mother’s grave with my dirty body? They said that they better not catch me there. And they put a death notice to Doris, my name at birth, on their blogs, complete with a black rose. They even had a book burning, buying $1,000.00 of my books, but I never got paid for those books, and putting photos of this on their blogs. I think they are doing all of this to hurt me.

Gert here..This is all speculative in nature, JW/HO has no real knowledge of what I wanted or not because when she first interferrred with my adoption of my own son, I banned her, I divorced her, and I had only 4 contacts with her in 30 years; she doesn’t KNOW anything about me. As far as my other two sisters and brother when he was alive, everything she KNEWS is what her INNER SELF told her about them. By brother refused to discuss with her anything related to HIS sisters and did not answer a letter she wrote to him, trashing us. Her inner mind said that we sisters poisoned him against us! We NEVER knew about the letter UNTIL she wrote about it in the libelous book!

 

continuing on…again I am Gert I am NOT Ruth…if Ruth said something, name her as the one, do NOT keep saying THEY because THEY did NOT SAY THESE THINGS. Kathy and Gert DID NOT SAY THEM. It is true that Gert and Ruth put a death notice up on Doris Sippel for SHE DID DIE. It is true that Gert and Ruth DID put pictures of the buying and burning of $1000 of books. I paid for them and I destroyed them…if JW/HO didn’t get paid for them, that is NOT  my problem…she needs to complaint to the publisher!
HO/JW says Yes, I often do think of our mother and how she must feel looking down from the spirit world. She did not want her children split up. That was our father’s idea. No, wait, there’s another story about the truth of my adoption, told by the oldest sister on her blog: the real reason I was given up was because our father’s second wife, whom he married three months after the death of our mother, did not want the newborn. She would take care of the four older children, and one of her two sons, but not the newborn. So there, Joanie, you don’t know what REALLY happened so I have to tell you now! See, I knew she’d read the blog! Baby sister doesn’t know what really happened so I guess I’ll have to tell her and make sure she gets it right this time. And bla, bla, bla. Yeah, I get it. I’m the baby who was not wanted. I get it. Dad traded me out of the family to keep peace with his new wife. Nice. Too bad he didn’t tell me this himself.

Gert here…HOW does JW/HO know what our mother wanted, when JW/HO was not born yet, or was only 3 months when mother died? This is bullshit! And it was NOT our father’s idea! It was step-mother #2’s idea…she didn’t want that infant! If JW/HO can’t believe that that is too bad, that is the real reason. Just look at the way HO/JW starts talking FROM her inner self! And how she had come up with an brand new meaning…’dad traded me to keep peace with new wife’…NO…FACT IS that second wife just didn’t want the infant…happens alot in the real world, NOT according to JW/HO. And he probably didn’t tell her to SPARE her feelings, but, she is so dense that she doesn’t understand how people act in the real world. JW/HO lives in a very subjective world of her innerself.

HO/JW says… Did you read in my book about the time he came over when my husband had the kids out of the house? Dad was crying as he told me how his wife died, how the priest said “to think about giving the baby…the baby…up … for adoption.” No, you three sisters don’t believe anything I wrote about what happened between our father and I, or between my adoptive parents and I. (I’m so upset right now, I don’t even know correct grammar)

Gert here…being upset has nothing to due with her not knowing correct grammar, and if she is so upset why is she having a meltdown on a public message broad? Because she doesn’t know enought to shut her mouth. As HO/JW has said, ‘we were NOT there, so we can’t know’ BUT we were there not only to hear but to live through many of the incidents that JW/HO can only fabricate!

HO/JW says Why am I reading my sisters blogs? I didn’t, until last month when a professional friend, a psychotherapist, of mine told me that she received a threatening letter from my sisters. My sisters posted that letter on their blogs. Another friend of mine sent me the letters my sisters wrote to her. And she lives 3,000 miles away from me. We have never met, but have worked together in adoption reform for over 20 years.

Gert here…Glad that these people shared our letters with JW/HO, we were NOT hiding, just like our blogs, we are NOT HIDING anything. People NEED TO KNOW what JW/HO is all about.

HO/JW says Why are my sisters contacting people they have no business contacting?Why didn’t I write a book under a fake name? Because I have been published under both of my names since 1975 and I am not about to hide now. Additionally, why would I write a piece of fiction when I am exposing the lies of the adoption industry? Book is not dead, by the way. Slander? What the heck are they doing to me? And other people?Browbeat infertile women? I have been writing against surrogacy and sperm donors for decades, long before the topic became fashionable, in defense of the children created by donor conception.

Gert here…I suggest that JW/HO find another name to write about, because we birth siblings we contintue to expose every time she talks about us. The book, in its present form, IS DEAD. The publisher will NOT reprint it, and any rewrite will be looked at VERY CAREFULLY as the publisher told me. Any other form of the book, when we find out about it, will also be purchased by us and dissected to MAKE SURE that there are no more libelous materials. So please be careful JW/HO. She doesn’t understand what we are doing, does she? It is her BEHAVIOR that is objectionable. She can have her opinions but she CAN’T bully and browbeat people…but again she probably doesn’t know how she is.

HO/JW says My sister was insulted because I wrote about these topics. What I write is not meant to be an attack on her, she took it that way. I was in the hospital with her when she miscarried. Oh yeah. Meanwhile, my own children were with a babysitter. Guess she feels guilty that this time she really did miscarry. A few before that, when her Yemeni boyfriend went back to Yemen to divorce his wife, she was afraid he wouldn’t come back to her, so she told him that she was pregnant. But then she knew she wasn’t so she made up the story she miscarried so he’d feel bad and come back to her. None of that was in my book because it had nothing to do with my life. I tell it here to show the lies my sisters tell. And they sucked me into their drama, their lies. By the time I saw how I was being used, I tried to get away from them. All three of them. I am sorry to go off topic on this thread, but I have to defend myself.Email me at wheejm17@hotmail and I will talk with anyone. Posted by halforphan56 on Apr 23, 2012 at 7:15am 

 Gert here…JW/HO falters herself too much…Ruth has already addressed the REAL story that is contrary to what JW/HO tells, as usual. We sucked her into our drama! Sorry there she goes again with the holy trinity! Kathy and Gert HAD NOTHING to do with all of that, we had been out of JW/HO’s life for decades. All three of them…that’s what we are to JW/HO. We are the Three Sippel Sisters and the Gang of Three! We are NOT individuals but the holy TRINITY!

And notice how JW/HO wants the entire world to email her…she is very very lonely and NEEDS to tell her story!

 end of part three of three.

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