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Creative fabrication of the truth and violating her publishing contract…is what got Joan Wheeler’s libelous book pulled from publication. (about the book)

by on July 9, 2012

Once a liar, always a liar. Tell a lie enough times and you will tend to believe it’s the truth…unless…someone PROVES the lie…that is what we birth sisters have done to Joan Wheeler. Here’s another reposting of my refuting the many lies in Joan Wheeler’s libelous book, Forbidden Family. The original post is @ Truth in Non-fiction Books – author: Gert McQueen, March 16, 2010

I want to start this entry with a quote, from a newspaper article, about truth within nonfiction books.

From the Watertown Daily Times, March 14, 2010, Latest book fraud puts publishers on defensive By Motoko Rich, New York Times

‘Book publishers have long seen themselves as the gatekeepers of literary culture. But when they’re not looking, the truth has a way of being left at the door. Henry Holt and Co stopped printing and selling….because its author had relied on a fraudulent source for a portion of the book and possibly fabricated others…in many recent cases publishers did not seem to ask basic questions of authors….there’s a hazy line between ‘truth’ and invention in creative nonfiction, but good writers don’t have to make things up…’

The key point here is that Joan’s book is being promoted as nonfiction but relies quite heavily on her use of ‘creative fabrication’ of events, particularly when she had no way of being present in certain situations and her creative use of ‘hearsay’ from relatives looking at something from many years distance. Her book should be called fiction because it is based on ‘some’ true facts, not the other way around. Adoption advocates really ought to be familiar with the authenticity of their source materials, if you really want to be taken seriously by those that make the laws that you want to change, if not, those law makers are only going to laugh in your face for using Joan’s book as any means to your ends. Do you really think people in Washington believe this book of fabrication? (2012…the book is no longer available)

Now, for some reason the ‘tone’ of Joan’s book tends to be very derogatory and downgrades and devalues members of her birth family. We sisters do not appreciate that and want to get the facts out and set them right from what Joan has fabricated in this book. And using the cover of ‘protecting by changing names and other facts’ does not work because that argument is not carefully followed within the book itself. (2012..we have proven that Joan published our real names on various internet sites before the book was published)

Our father, Leonard, was not poor, not in any long-term sense. There certainly are times when anyone has had economically ‘poor’ times. I have and you have but that does not mean I, or you, are poor. Our father worked as a laborer during his early years of marriage. I don’t know exactly what or where except that he worked for years in a bike shop repairing bikes. In today’s world, as in the late 1940’s, many people used bikes instead of cars and being able to repair bikes is a skill that is well worth having and earning a living by.

He went to night school to learn drafting and other skills when his first children were little. He started working for the City of Buffalo in 1953, when I was 6 years old and he worked there till his retirement in 1988 with 35 years of service. He was a civil engineer. He also has a Social Security pension. When he purchased a home in 1965 he worked a second job, as many people do, at the mid-town Sears, as a sales clerk not a machinist as Joan maintains, and he held that job for several years. He was a homeowner for about 12 years when that neighborhood changed, as many do, and moved his family into a very respectable housing complex around a harbor on Lake Erie. He lived there many years till moving into a small apartment closer to two of his, and his wife’s, children who help them out. My father is in his late 80’s, my step-mom in her late 70’s and they have had a great and long retirement that they have earned. It is a disgrace that Joan continues to portray our father in less than he deserves. Everything our father has, he earned. He is not poor, but he is not rich either, in the monetary sense. He is a rich man because he lives within his means and has more than enough to enjoy his retirement which is his right after working for years. (Dad died January 2011)

So why does Joan think she should ask her natural father for money to fix her car? Why doesn’t Joan get a job like everyone else and take care of her own bills like everyone else? And isn’t it interesting to note that on one hand Joan maintains that he is ‘poor’ but on the other hand thinks he has to give her money. That is the reason why she has no contact with her natural father today in 2010, because she was rude to him, saying that he should pay her for gas in her car when she takes him to the doctors. Gee I thought she was helping her aged father? It’s not a good deed if there are strings attached. But even if she needed the money for gas she could have been polite about it and then to top it off she said that it was his responsibility to give her money to fix her car. Our father told her, no it was her car, her responsibility and that he will no longer need her services or help, that it is best that they don’t see each other. How do I know this? Because my father told me himself a few months ago. (Joan violated Dad’s privacy in Jan 2011, by going to his home and hospital room unannouced.)

About myself, I also am retired and like my father am neither poor nor rich in the monetary sense but have enough to live comfortably on because I live within my means and have worked for my pensions. When my children were preschoolers I was that ‘dreaded’ telephone solicitor, part-time. After my first divorce I went to school full time for one year earning a Certified Dental Assistant degree and worked that job for 37 years. I worked in several private dental offices as an assistant including 3 years as an office manager. I worked 5 years at the Veterans Administration Hospital in Buffalo and 17 years with the Department of Defense at an army installation at Fort Drum N.Y. I have a 22-year federal pension and Social Security pension.

There was one year when I was in a transition, due to moving and starting over, when I had to work 2 jobs. That second job, after working 8 hours at my dental job, consisted of another 3 hours a night flipping burgers, dipping ice cream and cleaning toilets. I was not a young person that year, I was 40! And my education is not lacking either. Besides the one year of technical school I also went to college, part time at night, over the course of 6 years while raising two children. I was a single mom for over 10 years. I do not have a degree but I have everything needed for the two-year Liberal Arts Degree except the higher math and science courses, which I did not want to take. Since leaving college in the middles 80’s I have taught myself many things and have studied under and have been mentored by three PhDs in Germanic studies and other selective historical topics of interests. I am a published author.

My sister Kathy, living in England, has worked in child-care and in music being employed in the school system and other venues. She has proper college training and qualifications in and for music and teaching. She holds a statutory UK Government Clearance for working with children. She is a member of the UK Musicians Union. She speaks 5 languages as well as English. Before moving to England, she worked 5 years in the insurance business in the USA. She is currently retired.

My deceased brother Leonard Jr. was in the Marines during Vietnam. In civilian life he was a nurse’s aid and a mental health worker. With the GI bill he became a guidance counselor for the under privileged South-Western American Indians. His wife/widow was a nurse and is currently back in college. Their son is the founder of a couple of charter schools in Az.

My sister Ruth has been a nurse’s aid for over 37 years and is still working. She can add more here herself if she chooses.
(Ruth’s note: see my auto-biography listed as “Who is Ruth Sippel” at the top of this blog…t.hat would be her blog ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com   My current activities are remodeling my house, getting my property landscaped, so that when I retire, my house will be done, and all I have to is enjoy my garden. My plans for retirement include, learning languages, Tolkien-Elvish, ancient Egyptian, modern Arabic and Japanese. I already speak some Arabic and some Spanish. My husband also wants learn languages. I may also become a Middle East dance teacher, as I have been approached several times to do so).


When I was 18, I was accepted into Bell and Howell Tech University to study rocket scientry. Yes, I wanted to work in NASA. Plans fell through for that. Yes, I suppose I could have gone to college through my adult life, but I never went. So what? In her book, Joan belittles me for this decision. Why? This is MY life. Whether I choose to go to college or become a welfare moocher is MY business. Do MY choices for MY life have any bearing on Joan’s adoption, reunion, or her social activism to reform adoption laws? Is the book Forbidden Family about Ruth’s life and decisions about her life, or about Joan’s adoption, reunion and social activism?


FYI: In the fall of 1971, I attended night school to learn shorthand (I already knew typing), and other office skills. In the summer of 1972, I attended Erie Community College, City Campus part time for college alegbra and chemistry, as a pre-requisite for bio-chemistry and anatomy for my health care profession. I attended those classes in 1973. In 1995, I served on a committee at Buffalo General Hospital, representing nurse’s aides, on studying new ways to deliver quality care to patients. In 1999, I took classes through my labor union to become a union steward. Also in 1999, I took a class to obtain my New York State Certification for Nurse’s Aides and in 2007, another class to become a Patient Care Associate, which entitles me to do EKG tests on patients and phlebotomy (drawing bloods). Throughout my adult life, I have attended continuing adult education classes at various colleges and musuems in fields as varied as the arts, history, theatre, dance, metaphysics, computer skills.

In 1982 and 1983, I attend classes through BOCES on Basic Electricity and Residential Wiring, being the only female in the class, and actually scoring higher on the finals then some of the men in that traditionally “male” skill. Since becoming a home-owner, I have attended workshops at Home Depot to learn basic home repair, basic plumbing repair and creative painting techniques (stenciling, marbling, etc). I also enjoy doing crafts of all kinds, sewing, ceramics, folk design painting, beading, jewelry making. I also head up a local Star Trek fan group, the USS Ari, and publish a bi-monthly newsletter for that club. I also learned belly dancing through attending many classes and workshops.

All of this, while WORKING AT MY JOBS EITHER AT TWIN FAIR, INC. (1971-1972) OR BUFFALO GENERAL HOSPITAL (1972 – present). And all the time I suffered through allergies, congenital scoliosis, irritable bowel syndrome, recurrent bladder infections 1982-83, 1985-1987, and 2008. Maybe Joan doesn’t know about my health issues because I don’t talk about my bowels to complete strangers on airplanes like Joan does and use her allergies, her IBS and kidney and bladder problems as an excuse for not gaining employment. One of the reasons her husband left her was because she refused to get off her ass and get a job. He told me this himself. — ok, let me turn the focus back onto Gert’s post:

Every one of us has gone to school and have worked for many years. Why is it that Joan has not? Why is it that Joan does not give her work history? All she says is that she is disabled.
Ruth’s note: Joan’s Resume: In 1978 or 79, she worked for a month at the place that manufactures Keri Lotion. Then she got a job as a transporter (driver) for the New York State Department of Youth, driving kids to doctor’s appointments, etc. In 1982 she got a job as a general office manager, for an Canadian man who kept an office in the states. She took in orders, packaged them and sent the packages off. She was the only person in the office, had lots of downtime, use of a typewriter, and when she first got pregnant, there was even a cot for her to lie down if she got “tired.” Just before her son was born, she quit that job. She worked again, around 1992, sewing canvas sails for sailboats. This lasted only a short time. Then around 1995, she worked as a skip-tracer for a bill collector. Again, for only a short time. She claims she has worked as a social worker, but refuses to say where. I don’t think she ever worked as a social worker. And god help her clients, she’d screw them up more than they already are. If she belittles her own family for not having a college degree, how is she going to view her clients who probably don’t even have a high-school diploma? — back to Gert’s post:

(2012…commenting on Ruth’s statements about Joan’s work history…when Joan was a ‘driver’ for the department of youth, is when she went to her ‘boss’ and told him that my daughter was being abused…that is Joan’s way of getting back at me because I told her to ‘butt out of my business’. Joan REFUSES to tell where she ever worked but she CLAIMS to have worked as and at various social work positions. No…Joan has NEVER worked as a social worker.)
Why is it that Joan has no money? Why does she not have a job? Why does she think she is going to make millions of $$$$ out of this book of pure nonsense? Because her adoptive family (Ruth’s note, it was always her adoptive mother, not the adoptive family) has always bailed her out, taken care of her and given her stuff. She has chosen husbands that couldn’t or wouldn’t support her and her family and she tries to convince people that she is needy and she works the sympathy angle. (adopted mother died in 2011…now Joan really doesn’t have a source of income)
She is a con artist and a fabricator of untruths. She is a burden on society. She is supported by tax-dollars from working people and others that pay taxes. Yes, I still pay taxes that go to support people like Joan who do not work. What kind of disability does she have that prevents her from working? If she had a real job she wouldn’t have to exploit her families, the birth and adoptive families and con her friends into thinking she wrote a true story.

Ruth’s note: she says she has recurrent kidney and bladder infections, irritable bowel syndrome and allergies. She currently claims she is on SSI (Supplemental Security Income) and is receiving just under $700.00 a month. This makes no sense, just before he died in 2003, my ex-husband, was receiving over $800.00 a month on SSI. But then again, from 1973-1982, he was working at the steel plants, and paying into the system. – You don’t pay into the system, you get nothing out of the system! – all you get is the basic poverty stipend. That’s Joan’s own fault – she should have worked 30 years ago when she was young. I tried to get her job as a nurse’s aide back in 1990. She wasn’t interested. Hey, do you think I enjoy emptying bedpans? Wiping up a stranger’s butt after they just had diarhhea in their bed? I do it because it is a good-paying job, with good benefits, and I will get a good pension when I retire, both from my employer and the government. I don’t feel sorry for anyone who turns 50, and finally sees the writing on the wall and starts to panic because now they understand what people around them have been saying for years. Only now it’s too late for Joan. Her old-age is going to be what she put into it: NOTHING!. That’s the way the system works. Joan played while she was younger, and now must pay the cost. I have paid the cost all my working life, and when I retire, it will be my turn to play. I also take care of my body, to ensure that I will live a long life. I plan on living until I’m 150 years old!

I don’t want to live that long…but…at least I know that I have a very comfortable income for the rest of my life. I have three sources of legitimate retirement income and I WORKED for over 40 years earning them! If someone is on SSI they don’t also get SS later…nope, Joan needs another source of income…be it her daughter or some boyfriend, because the state isn’t going to give her any more. Plus, that libelous book is DEAD and BURIED, it got pulled in 2011 because of it’s libelous contents. That’s what creative fabrication will get you …..nothing!

**

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