The Yom Kippur Affair of Octobr 2009 – Joan Wheeler twists the meaning of Yom Kippur, gets herself in trouble with her bloghost, then blames her birth sisters for her own ignorance. (what else is new?)
On my sister Kathy’s blog Chayelet’s Blog, Kathy posted a blogpost called “For Clarification Only” about what I call The Yom Kippur Affair from October 2009. This was a blog post that Joan Wheeler had made on her original WordPress blog about the Jewish Day of Atonement, Yom Kippur. But Joan got the idea of Yom Kippur all wrong.
Kathy had just bought her first computer and was on the internet for the first time in the summer of 2009. As she writes further down, she was surfing the net and came across Joan’s Yom Kippur post. She wrote a nice comment on Joan’s blog, on October 5, 2009, signing it by her screenname Chayelet, but the comment section required an email address. Kathy, new to the internet, did not know she should have an alternative email address for certain situaltions, entered her email address, which consisted of her real name. However, this shows Kathy’s honesty and sincerity in commenting on Joan’s blog, even though she used her screenname.
Joan followed it up with a polite return comment on Octoer 6, then on the same day – and it doesn’t matter if Joan knew Kathy personally – she saw Kathy’s email address and sent Kathy a private email. The email in itself was not harassing, BUT when you are a blog or website owner, there are certain responisiblities that you must follow. And protecting your commentors are one of them. Unless the commentor is threatening or harassing you, you do NOT have the right to contact them via their private email. Kathy sent a complaint to WordPress on October 7 and WordPress removed the entire Yom Kippur post – because it also bordered on religious intolerance and bigotry. While Joan smugly announces that “perhaps I did miss the point of Yom Kippur. Thank you for expanding my awareness.” – but then the next paragraph, goes right back into her blaming everybody else for her life’s woes! “missed the point of Yom Kippur?” oh yes – because all of a sudden – and I saw it – Joan immediately posted another comment on her Yom Kippur post – but first she deleted Kathy’s polite post AND her own polite response – the new comment Joan wrote blasted Kathy, telling her to stay the hell out of her life! I mean it was a complete 180 degree turnabout! One day she’s writes “somehow I always knew we would re-connect” and then sends Kathy a sweet email updating her on her kids, then WHAMMO! – GET THE HELL OUT OF MY LIFE! And as Kathy explains further, before either she or me, got a print-out or screenshot, the whole things was deleted by WordPress.
When Kathy posted the scans of the printouts that she did get of The Yom Kippur Affair, they were difficult to see. So I had took the scans that Kathy had sent me separately in an email and cropped them and blew them up a bit for easier reading. And I’ve included them in this new blogpost, which contains Kathy’s narrative in her original blogpost of July 15, 2012 on her blog. At the end of that, I have included the aftermath of The Yom Kippur Affair – because the story didn’t end on October 7, 2009.
Here is Kathy’s original narrative with the newly processed graphics of the original print out that Kathy obtained. Notice at the bottom of the pages the date is in the European format of day/month/year – the date she printed them out was October 6, 2009.
Kathy here –
There have been, over the years, a few remarks made by Ms Wheeler and her friends, casting aspersions as to my intentions for writing this blog. I was clearing out some files, and came across the original post by Ms W, and the subsequent correspondence which led to me starting this blog. It is all here, with a few of my ‘white-outs’ of personal information not pertaining to the subject.
You will see:
Scans 1-4 The original post by JW, the title of which caught my eye whilst surfing the net on Jewish topics, and not her by name: On the Close of Yom Kippur, Day of Atonement. You will see Ms Wheeler twists Yom Kippur to be an opportunity for her adversaries to apologise to her and seek her forgiveness, which is not exactly what Yom Kippur is all about.
Scan5/6 My comment, which as anyone can see is solely for the point of clarity over the true meaning of Yom Kippur, not accusation, and certainly not mentioning Ms Wheeler’s family situation, which was not the focus of my comment. And her response to me, as Chayelet, before she realised who I really was.
Scan 7 Her, unsolicited by me, personal email to me. The whited-out paragraphs refer to private individuals Ms Wheeler wanted me to contact on her behalf (no, she’s not a user, is she). Note how she actually thanks me for reading her blog, and how she ‘had a feeling we’d re-connect..’. So much for wanting ‘no contact’. Nowhere in this letter, by the way, does she ask after my welfare, or show any interest in my life- same old, same old.
Scan 8 My email to WordPress regarding her unprofessional behaviour in contacting me. WordPress’s response is unknown- but Ms Wheeler did post an abusive response to me, which was taken down along with the entire correspondence by either herself or WordPress, before I had the chance to print it out.
I believe this will end the speculation as to the ‘abuse’ Ms Wheeler claims I gave her. I merely wanted to give her a greater understanding of the true meaning of Yom Kippur. I wish I’d never bothered.
Ruth here –
WordPress.com only removed the blog post about Yom Kippur from Joan’s blog, and nothing else.
Joan threw a temper tantrum, said she didn’t like being censored and was going to find a webhost that she would pay for – so she wouldn’t get censored. When she did that, she transferred all her stuff to that new site, then VOLUNTARILY closed down her wordpress blog.
THEN she gets on the Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change forum (February 2010) and accused me and Kathy (and Gert – who wasn’t even on the internet at that time) of SHUTTING DOWN HER BLOGS!
Joan had another previous blog in 2008 on blogspot.com, and in 2009, started her wordpress blog, and transferred all her stuff from blogspot to wordpress. After the “Yom Kippur Affair,” she shopped around and started her THIRD blog with the Start Logic webhosting service.
Neither Kathy nor I had anything to do with her decision to transfer from blogspot to wordpress. It was only JOAN’S harassing response to an honest and respectful comment from Kathy that caused ONE complaint to be made to wordpress. As I stated above: wordpress only removed ONE post, not the entire blog. But Joan reports that the Three Sippel Sisters shut down both her blogs.
Again, we did not cause ANY blog to be shut down – she shut them down by herself. AND only Kathy was involved in the Yom Kippur discussion. Neither I, nor Gert were involved. But as usual, Joan has to blame all of us for something we didn’t do.
THEN in February 2010, Joan gets on the Adoptee forum with a bunch of lies, and incites the adoptees to come over to MY blog and to complain en masse to wordpress about ME.
“if enough of us complain to wordpress, we can shut those fuckheads down,” is what she said.- geez – the term “fuckheads” really goes well with the theme of Yom Kippur.
Wow! JW blames everyone for her pathetic outlook on life. I’m one to believe that if you change your attitude, you can change your reality. Instead, she chooses to be a victim. She even writes that she’s a victim. She’s a psychopath, causing her own hell-on-earth existence. It’s not anyone’s fault but her own. And until she stops seeking pity and starts accepting that she was given a gift and that gift was life and she chose to waste it away by blaming others for existence, she will die having not lived to her potential.gertmcqueenFrom Kathy via remote….Here is an addendum to my post: I’m going to copy and paste this to ChayeletHaving done a quick re-read of JW’s Yom Kippur post, I noticed that she accuses us sisters of abuse towards her and her amother, so that the amother is afraid of us. So, if that’s the case, why did she send me such a nice email, thanking me for reading her blog and welcoming a ‘reconnection’? Reason- she wanted to maintain a connection to certain of my friends here in Liverpool – the individuals whose names I whited out – to whom she alleges I bad-mouthed her, but who were only acquainted to her through me, and whose privacy she had abused herself. There is no need for these people to be involved in this and I shall not involve them, no matter how JW baits and taunts.I also note that both in the Yom Kippur post and in her comment reply to Chayelet that she advises the reader(s) to read her, hitherto unpublished, book.The reason for the 180 degree turn, as Ruth calls it is simple enough – I chose to ignore her email completely and I blocked her from contacting my email address.She probably tried to email me to demand my attention. It was then that she removed the polite comments and replaced them with an abusive one accusing me of deception and harassment. She would not have been aware of my email to WordPress, if indeed she ever was. My response to her abusive taunts were more or less the basis of my original post on Chayelet’s blog.Perhaps it was naive of me to think that it was a ‘good’ idea to respond to her Yom Kippur post. Hindsight is a good teacher.I would remind people of the Timeline here:First: The Warning to The Wheelers, Herrs and Three Sippel SistersSecond: The Yom Kippur blogpost
Third: The announcement of the publication of her book.
I begin to wonder: clearly the Warning was a bait, which I was not aware of until much later. Clearly, she was aware, through a Facebook dialogue I’d had with her daughter, that I had converted to Judaism – so this begs the question: Was JW baiting me with her Yom Kippur post? If yes, I was stung- good and proper.
And that is why I am adamant that I shall NEVER, EVER, AGAIN RESPOND TO HER OR HER AGENTS. For all intents and purposes, she and her agents are dead to me.
A couple of observations of the documents above;
In Joan’s libelous book, chapter 38, she states that that chapter was written between April and July of 2009 and in that chapter she relates,from her sick mind, many things including when our father read that chapter, Joan’s insults to him and her attempts to get money from him which resulted in Dad telling her NOT to come over there any more. So Joan was ‘in pain’ as she is so fond of telling everyone. This is the WHY she wrote this piece about forgiveness…because her relationship with Dad ended and her way of dealing with it was to write ALL ABOUT IT in the book and on the web…the book was in the final stages of getting ready for publication but she still NEEDED to talk about it.
In JW’s post, written Sep 26, 2009, she is talking about how ‘been struggling with forgiveness for a very long time’
She states that she wrote part of this post ‘in June, but could not post it on my former blog…my former blog had been locked by the authorities against free speech…’This means that Joan HAD YET ANOTHER BLOG BEFORE THIS ONE! And, that if it was shut down it must have been because she crossed some line, which Joan always does. She states ‘I turned that anger into positive action by writing articles..’ NO…obviously she writes her anger and gets shut down because of it!
She states, speaking to her a-mom, ‘validate the truth, come clean, be honest, fess up, be accountable…if you continue to hide behind your lie you put a barrier a stain on the relationship, how can you expect to be loved and respected, to be forgiven’ MY POINT! Joan is so quick to say this to her a-mom and anyone else, yet she refuses to do the same herself.
Now onto Joan comment to Chayelet (Kathy) when Joan didn’t know it was Kathy…OR DID SHE?
Joan is telling her tale of woe to a stranger…giving personal details and promoting her book…that’s exploitation. Furthermore, contrary to what Joan insists…that we sisters knew she was publishing a book…Joan says..’but for those details, which are unknown to my siblings, you will have to wait for the release of my book.’ She claims that Dad was ‘so traumatized by the new revelations (in chapter 38)that he acted in haste’…that he kicked her out of his life again…She says ‘I’m giving too much away here, details are revealed in the book’ and then to get this ‘stranger’ to continue to be interested she says her a-mom is afraid of the siblings.
Now onto Joan’s email to Kathy…she claims she ‘almost died in April, very sick’…that would be april 2009 when she wrote chapter 38!! Joan KNEW that she should NOT email Kathy, just like she KNEW that Ruth and Gert told her NEVER TO CONTACT US, but, here Joan does want she always does…contacts the very people who want nothing to do with her and then when she is CAUGHT she screams that she was harassed!!
So this is classic Joan Wheeler at work!
Ruth here –
Kathy’s new comment begs me to clarify even further:
“I noticed that she accuses us sisters of abuse towards her and her amother, so that the amother is afraid of us.”
This is the same old crap of that false child abuse call that I supposedly made against Joan’s mother. – In Dec. 1993, somebody called the child abuse hotline, gave MY name, said that Joan and MY fiance (and gave his name) have sex and Joan’s mother forces Joan’s kids to watch them. Then Joan writes letters to my fiance via his mother’s house and is asking when he is leaving me. – this was Joan, who called child abuse on herself, giving out MY name, and my fiance’s name, in an attempt to discredit me with him and break us up. – Kathy has lived in England since 1974 – never met Joan’s mother. Gert moved from Buffalo in 1982, had not spoken to, nor seen the woman since the early 1980′s. I myself had not seen that woman since the 4th birthday party of Joan’s daughter (1990). As usual – Joan is accusing us for something we have not done.
“She would not have been aware of my email to WordPress, if indeed she ever was.”
Right – we do not know if WordPress notifies bloggers of complaints. But perhaps they did notify her that a complaint was made about the Yom Kippur post. – and Kathy could be right in the supposition that when Kathy blocked Joan’s email from her email, Joan would have gotten a “failed delivery” notice. And one thing we do know – when Joan doesn’t get her way – or someone dares to stymie her – she blows up!
“First: The Warning to The Wheelers, Herrs and Three Sippel Sisters”
Remember I said that in 2008 Joan had a blogspot blog? – Well, in September 2008, Joan had a ranting blogpost that started out with her putting down the Catholic Church.Then she started going off on a tangent. About Christian values and her adoption. Then she started yakking about Pagan values. (she knows that both Gert and I are neo-pagans). THEN she gave a “warning” to The Wheelers (meaning her extended adoptive family), The Herrs (the extended family of my mother) and The Three Sippel Sisters.
When I read that – I just laughed it off. “what an ass” I said to myself. – Now, let’s go over a couple of things here. Gert had been on the internet – early internet that is, AOL – in the 1990′s but by the year 2000, she was burned out and was not online. She did have a computer at home for personal use.
Kathy did not have a computer, and was not online until the summer of 2009.
I was online since the year 2000. But using public libraries, since I did not have a Windows computer until 2006 – yes, I will admit, from time to time, I would google Joan. so sue me. Joan herself searches for people, and so do a lot of people. And that’s how I found her blogspot blog. I looked at it – same old anti-adoption rhethoric. Ho-hum! Then I found that silly nonsense.
So – if her book wasn’t published until November 2009 and she changed the names of The Three Sippel Sisters in the book – why are we named on the internet in September 2008? so there you go Brian – and Lori – I did not come forth with my name first. Besides – in the book, she kept my father’s real name of Sippel in there. There’s not many Sippels in the Buffalo area. (yes, she named the city too). Joan was in the Buffalo News (paper) in 1989 with her picture and real name that told about her adoption. The following week, my father appeared in the same newspaper – with HIS picture and real name, giving his side of the adoption reunion. Joan also wrote about these two articles in her book. Since the late 1970′s the City of Buffalo has had only one newspaper. All you have to do is go to public library and go to the microfilm room and do some research and find my father’s name – look him up in the City Directory – then other public records. – No, Joan did NOT take proper steps to protect my identity.
- Joan KNEW that she should NOT email Kathy, just like she KNEW that Ruth and Gert told her NEVER TO CONTACT US, but, here Joan does want she always does…contacts the very people who want nothing to do with her and then when she is CAUGHT she screams that she was harassed!!
So this is classic Joan Wheeler at work!oh for sure this is classic Joan Wheeler at work.In the mid 1990′s she started harassing our cousin Gail. She had mailed Gail some medical papers regarding her (Joan’s) daughter illness in 1994. Gail didn’t want to be bothered. She sent the envelope back to Joan. Joan called Gail up at 11 at night ranting and raving on the answering machine.And mailed Gail another letter. Gail read it and it was bullshit garbage accusing me of bad-mouthing her and Gail of keeping secrets from her. (Both Gail and Joan are the same age, and at the age of 10, bumped into each other at an amusement park. Gail did not know that the Sippel family had a younger child given up for adoption. Did not know that her mother was childhood friends with the sister of the man who adopted Joan. And knew who Joan was at the park. Gail was confused, because this strange girl looked like me, her favorite cousin! But later, her mom told her never to tell me about this girl. She, being a ten year old child, obeyed her mom, and then forgot about it. She did not see Joan again until they were both 18 and we were all in the reunion. Joan writes a couple of times in her book that this cousin “kept the family secret from her.” — what the f was she expecting a ten year old child to do? A child who did not know the strange girl’s name, who she was in the family, and was told not to say anything? Oh, Gail was supposed to call every person in the city of Buffalo and say “I met this girl who looks like my cousin Ruth – I don’t know her name – but my mom says not to say anything – and I’m calling to let you know I saw her. No, I don’t who she is or why I should not say anything.”
DO YOU PEOPLE (BRIAN, LORI CORANGELO) SEE THE RIDICULOUSNESS OF WHAT JOAN WROTE IN HER BOOK? If not, I fear for YOUR sanity- if you think this makes sense!
ANYWAY – Back to the 1990′s. When Gail got that letter, she went to the Town of Eden, New York police. They sent a letter to Joan NOT to contact Gail. In 1999 Gail gets another letter from Joan. She didn’t even open it. She went right to the police. They opened it up and was reading it. It was a bunch of nonsense – the cop was laughing – then he called Joan up on the phone. “Were you told not to contact Mrs. B.?” Joan said “yes.” “and you wrote her this letter?” “yes.” “Okay” says the cop and hung up. Just as the cop was telling Gail of Joan’s arrogance (with the police!) the phone rings. The cop answered, and Joan says “This is Joan Wheeler, phone number — Did you just call me?” the cop said yes and hung up. Gail did nothing – IT WAS THE TOWN OF EDEN POLICE DEPARTMENT who instituted harassment charges on Gail and pulled her into court in May 1999.
But what does Joan write in her book? Oh -Gail took her to court AS A FORM OF HARASSMENT AGAINST HER. oh get real Joan. take some psych meds.
And Gert and I have been chronicling OTHER harassments that Joan perpertrated against us, AFTER BEING TOLD NOT TO CONTACT US. Even after the District Attorney’s office of Erie County told Joan not to contact me in 1997, she writes Gert a letter, puts it in an envelope, addressed the envelope to me and my fiance! Then in 1999, she sends me a letter with the return address of a friend – without her permission – and tells me that my fiance had gotten the next door neighbor pregnant. I contacted the friend whose address was used without permission, and we both (separately) filed harassment charges against Joan. (coincidentally the same month she had the charges from the Eden police). Joan writes in her book that all three of us were bothering her.
NO- it was the other way around. sick sick sick.
comment by Kathy, via remote
Timing- well, look at it this way- we all know I’m reluctant to spend my precious time on this girl, so I just let the Cyberbullies and other stuff ride. For 3 years, she kept it up and I kept schtum- I gave her time to let it go, but she kept pushing and then got Brian in on the act. It was his personal attacks on me and Chayelet’s Blog that spurred me to find that proof- she had 3 years to decide to leave me alone, so I simply ran out of patience. Now I’ve dealt with that, it’s done – it’s done because I SAY IT’S DONE.
As regards the money and the Beatles memorabilia she stole from me, I wrote her at the time and told her that, as long even an ounce of my possessions remains unaccounted for, she will be cursed from the High Heavens and never have a moment’s peace, even until death and beyond. That is still in place – for eternity. You see, I may be, in her ‘defender’s word, the ‘least vicious of the three’ of us, but by golly, I’m a huge believer in Karma – and I have given it over to the High Heavens to deal with her – because the Powers That Be are more powerful than me and hold us all in the Book of Life.
BTW, this year, 2012, the Jewish month of Ellul, during which we reflect on our behaviour towards our fellow human beings and offer apologies and make reparations, begins on the evening of 18 August and ends on the evening of Rosh HaShana, that is, the evening of 25 September. The Ten Days of Repentance, wherein we reflect on our relationship with G-d, begin the evening of Rosh HaShana and ends the evening of Yom Kippur. The fast of Yom Kippur begins at 18.38 on 25 September, and ends 19.37 on 26 September (London, UK times).
To whom will JW and her defender(s) apologise, and will they be able to stand before their own chosen Deity with clear consciences? I wonder.
I got curious…found this post on Ruth’s blog… Joan M Wheeler’s False Accusation of her birth sister EXPOSED February 23, 2010
Joan M Wheeler’s False Accusation of her birth sister EXPOSED February 23, 2010
Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler.
Tags: bullying, contradictions, dishonesty, false accusations, Lies, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, stupidity
comments closed , edit post In the past, Joan Wheeler, author of Forbidden Family, has accused me and my 2 other sisters of “shutting down her previous blogs.”
She had one at WordPress a few months ago. She had one at blogspot back in 2008. Both were shut down about 4 or 5 months ago.
The one at wordpress: she shut it down herself! The reason: one of her posts was edited by wordpress. As the owner of this site, they have the right to do so. So Joan got into a hissy fit, found a site that she had to pay for, so she wouldn’t “get censored.” The page for her blog still exists, it just says that “THE AUTHOR HAS REMOVED THE BLOG.”
I was aware of her blog at blogspot, because she used it to send a dig at the Three Sippel Sisters in September 2008. All of a sudden, it was gone. But it disappeared at the time she got her blog at wordpress started. And she had moved all her archives from blogspot over to the wordpress blog. I think she voluntarily shut it down herself.
So this morning, February 23, 2010, she writes a post about gay men and their adopted child. She says that she is against gay men having both their names on the birth cerificate. She then says that she wrote about this issue before on her blog, BUT HER BLOG WAS SHUT DOWN BY GAY ACTIVISTS!
She then reposts the original article she wrote, along with the comments. I didn’t make a note of the actual dates because I didn’t really read them, I skimmed thru them, and I did notice the year was 2008. So this was from her blog at blogspot.
GAY ACTIVISTS SHUT DOWN HER BLOG??? I thought I did!!!!
Joan, make up your mind!!!! First you accuse ME AND MY SISTERS of shutting down your blog, now you say it was GAY ACTIVISTS!!!
So you see readers, how Joan just loves to spew out false accusations at me and my sisters?