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Is infertility, by nature or by force, any reason to adopt? or is it a reason for mockery, by Joan Wheeler?

by on September 11, 2012

A few months ago I heard a radio show about forced sterilization in our country. While it may be an interesting topic to explore, I’m not interested, here, in discussing that practice and/or any other types of misuse in this country.

Do angry adoptees, like Joan Wheeler, ever think that a person could be infertile because of forced sterilization? And that they, infertile by force, may want to be a parent and raise a child? Are those people any different from people who are infertile by nature? Or do these angry adoptees think and feel that adoption should just be outlawed for everyone, regardless of circumstance of those adopting? Do these angry adoptees have any compassion for those forced into sterilization? Or are these angry adoptees just selective to where they give their compassion, if they have any that is?

And just what do you do with all those children that need parents? Where are they to go? None of these angry adoptees have any real answers to that.

My purpose for posing these questions are because Joan Wheeler and those hateful angry adoptees think that people who say ‘they are adopting because they want to and not because they are infertile‘ are just wrong and are only worthy of mockery!

And plainly speaking here…that attitude is just plain wrong and needs to be exposed!

From an exchange, on the Adult Adoptee Advocating for Change public forum, from Dec 2010: first we hear a couple of comments and then Joan Wheeler, AKA 1adoptee…and then my own comments.

Topic: “Im adopting not because I am infertile…..

(1/6) 

l: but because Ive always wanted to adopt” I am seeing this sentiment more and more, and it makes me sick. Especially when an adoptee says this. What the fuck is wrong with people? Im seeing this on Y!A and in blogland. In my opinion, blogland people should know better- they read about the corruption and fraud, yet still think it’s ok. Or, most likely, they just don’t give a shit. I have a special disdain for people who adopt “just because they want to”. Of course, a purchased child won’t solve an infertile’s issues, either, but Jesus- if you can make people, why buy one? :creepyadopter2:

R:
It’s the savior complex or they don’t want to be the only ones without an adoptee to call their own…or both.

1adoptee:

Re: “Im adopting not because I am infertile…..« Reply #2 on: December 18, 2010, 03:37:29 PM »

It’s the “in” thing to do. Fashionable. It’s the “christian” thing to do. and it’s so wonderful that you are doing this…

Gert here:

Joan chimes right in there mocking a person and their particular religious faith! Way to go Joan!! Show everyone your inner strength of character! These angry adoptees are all just feeding each other without any concerns for their fellow human being. These adoptees all hurt, want compassion and understanding from everyone, but, can’t understand anyone else nor have compassion for another!

I really don’t believe that Joan and the other adoptees, ever give it a thought that there are real people , who adopt, that have real feelings and want to care for a child. They are just blinded by their hate and anger.

It does get my goat to hear how totally unfeeling these adoptees are to the needs of others and how unconcerned they are for the agony that some people have gone through in their lives. The hate and venom of these angry adoptees is disgusting! And they think they can make change in the world? Not this way they won’t!

  1. Ruth excellant post Gert.

    Joan routinely slams people’s religions – slams people’s choices in life. In her book, she slams poor people (yet laments she’s poor – oh that makes sense), slams people living on Buffalo’s East Side (even though she lived there too). All she ever does is MOCK people for this, for that, for ANYTHING! Then she wonders why NObody ever takes her seriously and runs the hell the away from her.

    I myself am an infertile woman, and was on the receiving end of condesending remarks by Joan – LESS THAN A YEAR AFTER I MISCARRIED MY SON.

    We were on the phone in May 1987 (I know the month and year – I was packing, moving into the house I live in now). She had just gotten back from one her adoption conferences and started talking about infertility. I told her that I did not want to talk about. I was still greiving my son, who I lost after years of trying to get pregnant. She ignored my request and kept right on talking. I told her again. She ignored me again. I told a third time, a fourth time. She kept right on running her mouth and then made the statement: “I know more about infertility than you think I do.” I slammed the phone down and burst into tears.

    What does she know about infertility? Book statistics? Listening to other people? Yeah, Joan knows ABOUT infertitly, but does not know the PAIN of infertility.

    Come on Joan, tell the world how your rotten birth sisters never took the time to “understand” you, but don’t tell the world how you stab them in the back and more cruelly, stab them in the heart.

    This rotten statement to me was made in 1987, and then in her book published in 2009, Joan continues to mock my infertility and miscarriage. She writes “at one point she (me) CLAIMED  to want to have children,” – even though in 1983, while she was pregnant with her first child, Joan borrowed my books on pregnancy, breastfeeding, baby care. Why would I have those books if I merely CLAIMED to want children. But elsewhere in the book, she says that I was going to a fertility clinic. I never went to a fertility clinic (does she never do any RESEARCH?) – But that’s not the point – the point is – she contradicts herself. If I merely had CLAIMED to want to get pregnant, then why would I be at a fertility clinic?

    Then she mocks me further in her book, because I made a rhetorical question “I don’t know how you find time to raise your kids and do all your writing?” Joan mocks me because I do a lot reading, and watch horror movies. Then she writes, “It’s just as well she didn’t get pregnant.”

    Way to go Joan. Slam me, slam my dead son. Slam my infertility. Slam my life choices in recreation. Then slam me some more because I never took the time to “understand you.” Oh – go to hell Joan.

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2 Comments
  1. excellant post Gert.

    Joan routinely slams people’s religions – slams people’s choices in life. In her book, she slams poor people (yet laments she’s poor – oh that makes sense), slams people living on Buffalo’s East Side (even though she lived there too). All she ever does is MOCK people for this, for that, for ANYTHING! Then she wonders why NObody ever takes her seriously and runs the hell the away from her.

    I myself am an infertile woman, and was on the receiving end of condesending remarks by Joan – LESS THAN A YEAR AFTER I MISCARRIED MY SON.

    We were on the phone in May 1987 (I know the month and year – I was packing, moving into the house I live in now). She had just gotten back from one her adoption conferences and started talking about infertility. I told her that I did not want to talk about. I was still greiving my son, who I lost after years of trying to get pregnant. She ignored my request and kept right on talking. I told her again. She ignored me again. I told a third time, a fourth time. She kept right on running her mouth and then made the statement: “I know more about infertility than you think I do.” I slammed the phone down and burst into tears.

    What does she know about infertility? Book statistics? Listening to other people? Yeah, Joan knows ABOUT infertitly, but does not know the PAIN of infertility.

    Come on Joan, tell the world how your rotten birth sisters never took the time to “understand” you, but don’t tell the world how you stab them in the back and more cruelly, stab them in the heart.

    This rotten statement to me was made in 1987, and then in her book published in 2009, Joan continues to mock my infertility and miscarriage. She writes “at one point she (me) CLAIMED to want to have children,” – even though in 1983, while she was pregnant with her first child, Joan borrowed my books on pregnancy, breastfeeding, baby care. Why would I have those books if I merely CLAIMED to want children. But elsewhere in the book, she says that I was going to a fertility clinic. I never went to a fertility clinic (does she never do any RESEARCH?) – But that’s not the point – the point is – she contradicts herself. If I merely had CLAIMED to want to get pregnant, then why would I be at a fertility clinic?

    Then she mocks me further in her book, because I made a rhetorical question “I don’t know how you find time to raise your kids and do all your writing?” Joan mocks me because I do a lot reading, and watch horror movies. Then she writes, “It’s just as well she didn’t get pregnant.”

    Way to go Joan. Slam me, slam my dead son. Slam my infertility. Slam my life choices in recreation. Then slam me some more because I never took the time to “understand you.” Oh – go to hell Joan.

Trackbacks & Pingbacks

  1. Joan Wheeler mocks infertility, and her own sister’s miscarriage « Refuting a Book of Lies: Forbidden Family –

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