abuser, adoption, adoption reunions, Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change, birth/adoptive families, Brian Maloney Williamsville NY, browbeating people over adoption, bullying, confrontations with Joan Wheeler, dark side of personality, doing the right thing, fabricator, Forbidden Family a book of lies, grown up at 18, hate blogs, inner torments, integrating two families, learned behavior, liar, personal boundaries, sins of omission and suppress of one's own misdeeds, sneak, stress junkies, suffering needlessly, theif, worthlessness
Joan Wheeler only knows the ‘dark side’ of things; a post about that libelous book (with updates).
As of now, Sept 2012, Joan Wheeler continues to have those two hateful blogs, against the birth siblings (Forbidden Family and cyberbulliesstalkers.blogspot.com) and the one that Brian Maloney still has against us (defendingjoanwheeler.blogspot.com), and the other two ‘shadow blogs’, where she hides behind. So, we shall continue on with refuting that libelous book, Forbidden Family, pulled from publication by the publisher (May 2011) because Joan broke the contract with the publisher. We shall continue exposing her words and deeds, past and present, until she removes her hate blogs against us.
The original post of the following can be seen @ The Dark Side by Gert McQueen – March 16, 2010 As I re-read this post I may do minor corrections. If there are any major ones they will be noted as updates.
The Dark Side
Yoda tells Anakin Skywalker ‘I sense great fear in you. Fear leads to hate. Hates leads to suffering. Suffering leads to the Dark Side.’ And look what happened to Anakin, because he didn’t listen; look at Joan Wheeler! Is she the great and wonderful powerful savior of all adoptees against the great evil called ADOPTION? No, she is a huge joke and unlike Anakin Skywalker, Joan has yet to ‘make it right’ and throw off the DARK SIDE. Fear and hate rules Joan Wheeler!
Now I’m certainly not suggesting that Joan has some or any ‘higher’ purpose in mind by choosing the dark side, as Anakin believed he had, but by not having a ‘personal’ higher purpose in her life she really is on the dark side because she has chosen to be on the dark side; that is why she is suffering. Get rid of the fear and hate to set yourself free. That is the message of the little Buddha in Yoda.
Going back to that libelous book, Chapter 11 is titled – integrating two families. Right!
Joan was never taught how to integrate anything, but as an adult and having had the second family from the age of 18 she ought to have learned how to do that, integrate, but she never did.
(note of 2012… she was foolish enough to set all it down in a book! A book that was so full of libelous material that the publisher pulled it from publication! So, if readers have never seen the book, you are out of luck, or, you are blessed for not having to spend the money for the garbage. In any case, we shall continue reposting and reporting on every lie that Joan has written.)
The thought occurs to me that she ought to drop the line of ‘if my birth family didn’t contact me I would have been just fine’ crap. She knew she was adopted and would have found out eventually from the parents that raised her, even in their paranoia, that the child would eventually know the truth; the truth would have come out even if we never had contacted her. Joan uses this refrain as an excuse…for she is the victim, never the doer! She is one with her pain! She loves her pain!
On pg 78 she describes looking for the truth, where ?, in her adoptive mother’s wallet, not her adoptive father’s wallet because she didn’t ‘suspect’ him, only her mother’s wallet; for it is the adoptive mother that Joan has a love/hate relationship with. I’ll tell you first and foremost people, that if a child does not learn very early on in life about personal boundaries and privacy you will have an adult who is a sneak, a liar, a thief, a fabricator, and one who can never be trusted. Look in her mother’s wallet?!! Even as a married adult I had never looked though my husband’s wallet or anyone’s wallet. Would you readers leave your wallet/purse around Joan? She really is totally unconscious as to write about such things that are lacking in her character. I would be ashamed to say such a thing. Joan has no shame. She does not see the basic flaws in her character that were shaped during her first 18 years of life as an adoptee of parents that were paranoid they would lose her.
On pg 80-82 she presents a letter from our father to her. I have no way knowing the authenticity of the letter but it sounds reasonably what my father would have said. He always did maintain that the rights and privileges of the adoptive parents where more important than himself because they raised her. But Joan is incapable of accepting another’s point of view; she is always looking for something that isn’t there. She can’t accept the fact that shit happens in life and life is not ‘according to Joan’.
On pg 83, she presents yet another misrepresentation of the event of her adoption and yet another contradictive description of the event in the same book. Who was her editor? She writes, ‘first face-to-face meeting my mother had with him since the day he handed me over to my prospective adoptive parents sometime in the spring of 1956’. Wrong, wrong and wrong!
I can’t with all certainly say that the natural father and the adoptive parents never ‘really’ met before the adoption. There is some family ‘rumor’ that they may have met at my mother’s funeral, but I am clearly labeling that as RUMOR. It is certain that he did not ‘hand’ Joan over to them, it was done with lawyers, nor was it in the spring of 56. Joan was living with maternal relatives after her birth, not with Dad and he did not see her after the baptism. On pg 469 Joan has a copy of the final order of adoption and it clearly states Oct and Dec 1956 and filed Jan 1957. Again this is an example of creative fiction where she is attempting to write a scandalous story out of a very real sad life event of the death of a young wife and mother, to make money. Again, where was Joan’s editor who would have pointed out these kinds of inconsistencies in a book that is listed as non-fiction?
(note of Sept 2012, we now know that Joan purchased a ‘print ready’ contract with the publisher, which meant that the publisher did NOT read or edit the copy. The only time the publisher would read the copy, on that type of contract, is if they got a complaint. Ruth and I complained to them, from Dec 2010 to May 2011, when they pulled the book. Joan violated the contract with the publisher and they saw, from us siblings, documents to prove our positions.)
Pg83 has false information about my father’s work that I have already addressed in another post.
Pg 84 she mentions a friend who helped her from ‘confusion into the world of meditation and spirituality…that it would take time to work out…wanted to be normal…didn’t want to go through pain….be able to feel peace.’ Unfortunately for a young person of 18, which she was at this time period, for her to think she was not ‘normal’ is something to really wonder about. Was that the birth family’s fault? Shouldn’t the adopted parents have given her the sense of normal growing up? Guess not. Joan has always blamed the birth family for ‘taking advantage’ of her youth at the time of ‘being found’. No, don’t buy that! At the age of 18 a girl is considered a legal adult. At that age I was married with one child, two by age 19. People grow up, Joan never did.
Why didn’t she stay with meditation and spirituality? If she did she wouldn’t have the depression that has plagued her all her life. Joan, it isn’t too late to begin meditation and to get peace. Stop blaming others. Heal thy self! We know, here in 2012, that Joan has had ‘friends’ that have attempted to teach her ‘the ways to inner peace’. But, as we have seen with her recent friend, Brian Maloney, he isn’t a worthy character to teach any such thing! For any so-called ‘healer’ that attacks women he doesn’t know, strictly on Joan’s say so, is and has proven himself, to be a fraud. Brian Maloney is on his own dark path to the dark side!
And, you know, she really does need to learn to get peace because there are pages after pages devoted to her inner torment, really now, is all this torment really what people want to read? Are there really that many stress junkies out there that have nothing better to do with their lives but to spent it’s entirely on writing about their inner torment and then reading about the inner torment of others?
(note 2012, yes there are, on the public forum for Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change, but, they don’t want change, they just want a place where they can talk about their torments, and there are several, many in fact, blogs where angry adoptees spew their inner torments, they just can’t get enough of their own shit.)
On page 87 alone I counted at least 25 words or phrases that describe Joan’s inner torment! Is this what makes a book a ‘great’ book? Or was it calculated to sell books? Please someone take Joan out of her misery!
Yes I do plan on reading this book and continuing with my extensive book report. Why? Because it is about my family and the book is full of lies and misrepresentations. My mother and father deserve more than what Joan has done in this book.
NOTE 2012, I have read and written about most of this book, the final chapter/pages I have not fully paid attention to, as of yet, but, hey as long as Joan keeps those hate blogs up I’ll have time to get to the reminder of that libelous book! In the meanwhile, I have lots of stuff to blog about!