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Joan Wheeler joins yet another open forum on adoption and gets kicked off… will she ever learn!

by on October 10, 2012

Joan’s total identity is so wrapped up into her being a misused adoptee that she just can’t help herself; without telling and retelling her story she can NOT live. But, she really is on the outer fringes of society these days…NONE of these types of activities that she engages in, will CHANGE the laws of adoption in this country. NO one is listening to this BS anymore. Just because an adoptee has a life-issue doesn’t mean that their views on adoption MUST be pounded (browbeaten) into the minds of everyone out there by various bully techniques!

BEFORE WE CONTINUE HERE IS AN UPDATE MAY 2016; as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ another ‘revised’ version. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor!

https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/

https://www.facebook.com/dupedbyadoption1

NOW WE CONTINUE TO THIS POST 

The birthsiblings do NOT care about various adoption issues! We only CARE about Joan Wheeler’s continued speaking lies about OUR PARENTS, OUR FAMILIES, AND OUR LIVES and DISHONORING ALL OF US.

She just will NOT shut the f…up about OUR PARENTS and us THE BIRTH FAMILY! This is called exploitation, harassment, and slander! And we shall expose it everywhere we find it!

The issues that upset the birth family is Joan’s insistence on her continuous retelling of lies and falsehoods, told to her by her adoptive family, and her insistence that the birth siblings are damaged because of her adoption! She wrote a libelous book that contained all those lies and falsehoods; that book was pulled from publication by the publisher! What is wrong with all you adoptees out there? Don’t you see that Joan Wheeler is nothing but a liar? Who is going to ever publish her again? Why do you think she is on the outer fringes? Because everyone already knows that her ‘story’ is full of holes and libel!

We siblings HAD NOTHING to do with her adoption; our lives have NOTHING TO DO with her adoption and life. Everything that is wrong with Joan’s life is due to the ADOPTIVE PARENTS AND JOAN HERSELF. Her real beef is with the adoptive parents/family who abused her…the birth family NEVER DID but we are damaged because Joan says so! Bullshit!

It is ONLY Joan that can NOT have a successful life because of HER ADOPTION. The entire birth family has NO MENTAL ILLNESS IN IT and we all have been PRODUCTIVE citizens for over 65 years. Joan needs to lay the blame solely and I mean SOLEY on to the adoptive parents and leave the birth family OUT OF IT. Joan had her opportunities with the birth family and she BLEW IT over 30 years ago…it is DEAD because of her!

But if Joan wants to keep exploiting our parents and saying that we are damaged, then we will just have to keep on exposing Joan for the obvious mental case that she is. If other adoptees wish not to have us in their faces, then they need to get rid of Joan Wheeler, for she is certainly NOT helping your cause, she has become a joke! If other adoptees want to browbeat and bully every person out there who adopts or is pro adoption, fine, but, you will ALWAYS have to deal with us, Joan Wheeler’s birth siblings, EXPOSING your activities. It’s your choice, Joan Wheeler or the birth siblings exposing you!

Oh and…you might also like to know that we have loads of material from the mouth of Joan Wheeler…loads and loads of it, for she has diarrhea of the mouth! So don’t think we are going to go away anytime soon. Joan Wheeler needs to shut her mouth about our parents and our lives and take down all the hate blogs against us, and, get her boyfriends, that’s plural, to take down their hate blogs against us.

Now for the core of this post…

She has YET ANOTHER name….Kaykee! One might ask us how do we know that this is Joan Wheeler. Because, Joan CAN NOT STOP telling OUR FAMILY STORY. She doesn’t know how to and so every time she tell it, we FIND OUT ABOUT IT.

 Be it known that the birth siblings were NOT the cause of Joan’s removal from this forum…it obviously was her own doing! We do not know what Joan said that caused her removal, but, from previous experience we can guess and it doesn’t surprise us, that she was removed. Perhaps others might like to reassess Joan’s effectiveness with communication and whether she is worth having around. If it were my team, I’d fire her for incompetence!

We did NOT know of this site’s existence, nor Joan’s presence on it, until AFTER she was removed from the forum; we do have a FOLLOWING out there and people OUTSIDE of the adoption scene DO know all about Joan Wheeler! If you are following Joan Wheeler, you can become tainted by her; your choice!

Joan/Kaykee lasted from Sept 12th to Oct 8th, 2012; I have only selected two of the many comments she posted. We are NOT INTERESTED in birth certificates or any other issues, EXCEPT for the dishonor to our PARENTS AND OURSELVES. Needless to say, most of what Joan says here is pure bullshit  and filtered by her diseased mind. Joan’s words are in italic

http://www.city-data.com/forum/adoption/

kaykee – On 10/5/2012 @ 10:58 pm and 11:05 pm she posted the following…

My whole life was one lie after another.

I look at the sheltered, pampered life my a-parents gave me and wonder “why?” They gave me everything: a home in the suburbs, a big yard to play in, lots of toys, lots of books, good schools, birthday parties, hand sewn dresses, dogs, fish, birds, education, friends, big extended family, and love, and culture, and music.

But I wasn’t allowed to talk about my feelings about being adopted.

I wasn’t allowed to ask about my natural family.

I was supposed to keep quiet, not make any waves, and not upset anyone.

I was an only child. My parents loved me and I was very aware of that. I loved them, too.

But then I was found by siblings I never knew. That’s when I found out that my loving adoptive parents never wanted me to know about my siblings. They wanted me all to themselves.

It backfired.

I resented what they did to me.

My extended adoptive family fought with me. How could I DO this to my parents? How could I want THAT MAN back into my life? After all, he GOT RID OF ME. And he KILLED my mother. And he ATE STEAK WHILE THE KIDS ATE HOT DOGS. And … and … my siblings wore rags while I wore hand sewn dresses. … and …
my siblings didn’t have a mother after our mother died (of cancer) and I had two parents … and … how horrible of me to stab my parents in the back … and … I should be ashamed of myself for making my mother cry … and … and … I shouldn’t write newspaper articles about adoption because I’m upsetting my adoptive parents.

I got it for 38 years.

And that’s just from my adoptive family.

I could go on.

No. I am not grateful for being adopted.

My natural family was just as messed up. Adoption traumatized my siblings kept by our father. Our father never forgave himself for giving me up — he was sad toward the end of his life. And one day, after his surgery, he introduced me to his neighbor by using the name he and my mother named me. He had never done that before. I could tell that all these years of calling me by my adoptive name was difficult for him. This time, it just slipped out. I was his daughter, the one he had to relinquish, or rather, the one he felt he had no choice but to relinquish.

Up until she died, my a-mom steadfastly said, “I still believe adoptees should never be told the truth”.

 I guess you could say that my whole life was a “bad experience”. Does that make me well-adjusted to the entirety of it all? Or maladjusted because my life was one trauma after another?

Oh, wait, sorry, I did say that I had a happy childhood filled with more than any kid could ask for.

Except that my adoptive parents willingly and knowingly kept my siblings from me.

That means that, after I found out the truth, all that my adoptive parents did for me meant absolutely nothing.

Selfish. They wanted me all to themselves. They changed my name. They kept me isolated in the suburbs away from my siblings.

But I am supposed to be grateful. And happy.

And I am labeled selfish because I want the truth to be available to any adoptee who wants it.

 

Then on Oct 5th Joan said…10-05-2012, 11:05 PM

My mother gave birth to me at 32 weeks gestation. (That’s 7 months) She died.

I feel the loss of the mother who would have raised me had she lived.

My adoptive parents raised me for 18 years before my reunion.

Since then, no matter how difficult and painful, I always loved both sets of parents.

yes, it is possible to love a mother I have never met. She did carry me inside her and she lost her life. She didn’t die giving birth, but shorlty after.

But that does bring up a different aspect of love, doesn’t it? A mother who dies in childbirth: the ultimate sacrifice of love? And those 9 months count for nothing? Gee, I wonder what a person who was kept by the remaining parent and not given up for adoption would say?

After we were informed that Joan was removed from this forum, we took a look at what she was saying. We attempted a comment, on the site, in response to an insult Joan said about our mother, what Joan said above, but our comment was deleted. Then we posted a second comment. Here is our second comment, plus a moderator’s note…

Posted by ….If I went overboard in my post, I apologize. I also was giving the details of an adoption – some adoptees are so ANTI-adoption it clouds their minds to the facts that adoption is sometimes NECESSARY. I was also answering a question that was put forth in the other person’s post “what would one of 4 remaining children not relinquished to adoption say?” – not an exact quote – Since I am one of the 4 remaining children – I answered it. I was defending the honor of my mother, who’s birthday was Oct. 4, the date that ridiculous question was put out.

Mod note:  first post was deleted, as it addressed a specific person (who’s no longer here), rather than adoption in general.

Okay…So be it! Those are the rules of that forum…we the birthsiblings are NOT complaining. We ARE exposing the behavior of Joan Wheeler and EXPLAINING why we attempted to answer her on these forums…because, Joan DISHONORS OUR PARENTS AND OURSELVES.

Joan, as an adoptee, can’t stand the circumstances of her own birth and life and she feels no shame about dragging the birth parents though the mud, disgracing their names and memories let alone the adoptive parents, who don’t deserve that treatment either, and Joan doesn’t respect the very birth family that she CLAIMS was taken from her needlessly! She HAD US! We FOUND HER! And yet she destroyed all the relationships and NOW lies about them. Not anymore!

So, because on that site, when a birth sibling ‘defends’ the parents’ honor, they got deleted, fine, this is OUR SITE and we shall NOT BE DELETED! We shall blog about, each and every defilement, of our family’s honor, that Joan Wheeler utters and those that enable her to do so.

And for those that wish to know, here is where most of those ‘banned’ adoptee’s speak out  against the adoptive-parents that spoke out against them.

http://www.iadoptee.com

It really is a strange world out there…Adoption is not a crime! It may have flaws, but, there is a NEED for it. I adopted my son, 30 years ago, and was victimized by Joan Wheeler because I ADOPTED! People really do NOT know the character of Joan Wheeler!

A final word…if Joan has had such a horrible existence, by being adopted, how come she has not been CURED, by the decades of treatments that she has been going to? Seems to me this person is bleeding our mental health system because she does NOT get any better. Someone is making a lot of money off of Joan Wheeler! Oh and did you know that she is on NY State disability for her various medical and mental issues related to her adoption? Regardless of what state you live in, you are contributing to Joan Wheeler’s monthly disability check…either by state or federal taxes! Tell me who the hell works the system here! So she never worked/works to pay taxes, but she takes from the system, and has all day long to sit on a computer and beat other citizens up because they adopt. Nice work!

3 Comments 
  1. I am always perplexed after reading ONE MORE ATTEMPT by Joan to shit on the birth family. I wonder why this woman can’t accept the circumstances of her adoption. She’s not a child, a teenager, or a 20-something person trying to make sense of JUST learning about her adoption. She has had years to find peace with it, to understand it as much as she can, and to live her life happy, joyous, and free!

    But instead, she keeps beating this old dog and blaming everyone for her sad, sad life. It’s as if someone (the devil) is perched on her shoulder saying, “Damn right, Joan! Hurt these people the way you were hurt. It’s perfectly fine to spew your anger and to blame these devils for your lot in life. Give it to ‘em! Give it to ‘em! Yeah! Go Joan!”

    For fuck sake! She needs to stop!

  2. Thanks Paula…
    like we keep telling her…other people are watching and she really does need to grow the fuck up and get a life WITHOUT us! She really is into S and M…she craves it.

     

    4.   Ruth

    Ruth here – it was me who wrote a comment defending my mother’s honor again. Because Joan went ON OUR MOTHER’S BIRTHDAY to spew more hate at her mother’s other children!What is this last sentance that Joan wrote?: “Gee, I wonder what a person who was kept by the remaining parent and not given up for adoption would say?”

    WHAT does this mean? Joan knows damn well there were 4 other persons who were kept by the remaining parent and not given up for adoption (me, my two sisters and our brother) and Joan knows DAMN well what we would say, because WE HAVE BEEN SAYING IT FOR THE PAST 30 YEARS AND THE LAST 2 – 3 YEARS ON OUR BLOG!

    yes, our mother is DEAD. (let her rest in peace bitch-Joan). yes, our father gave our younger sister up for adoption. (get over it bitch-Joan). yes, our childhood was not from the pages of Pollyanna, nor was it from the pages of Hannbal Lechter. yes, we did think of our younger sister from time-to-time. no, we did not ALWAYS eat hotdogs. (by the way, Joan fed her own two kids hotdogs – so?) yes, we made a BIG mistake in finding bitch-Joan when she was 18. yes, we welcomed her into our lives and hearts. yes, we booted her back out of our lives because Joan turned out to be a liar, a thief, a harasser, a manipulator, a trouble-maker, a straight up bitch. yes, we got her book pulled from publication because we sent ACTUAL COURT DOCUMENTS that proved that what Joan said in her “truthful” book was NOT truthful, but blatant LIES – LIES ENGINEERED TO DAMAGE THE REPUTATION OF HER SISTERS, HER MOTHER’S OTHER CHILDREN!

    So Joan gets on this new forum and says that she loves someone she’s never met. (her birth mother), then continues the next day to keep spreading more lies about the husband and children of this person that she says she loves.

    We have said it before Joan and we will say it again: SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH ABOUT OUR FATHER AND US!

    If you want to keep on your “crusade” against adoption and your fight for your birth certificate – go right ahead. We don’t care about that. What we DO care about is your continual spreading of FALSEHOODS about us and our father and our family.

    Joan, all you need do is write:

    “I was born prematurely to a young mother who died of cancer shortly after I was born. She was only 30 years old and left behind me and 4 other young children. There were no daycare centers in 1956. Welfare did not exist then as it does now. My paternal grandparents were elderly, and could not take care of 5 little kids, one being a newborn. Other relatives also could not help out for various personal and financial reasons. A relative asked my father if he would consider giving the baby to an infertile couple who wanted to adopt. My father consulted his parish priest and agreed to relinquish the baby. He had almost an entire year to re-consider his decision, but did not.

    My adoptive parents raised me as an only spoiled chiled, yet told me that my birth family were poor. When I was 18, I was found by birthsiblings. When I got to know my birthfamily, I realized that although their childhood was not idyllic, they were not poverty-stricken as my adoptive parents told me. I was angered by the lies told me.

    Six years into our reunion, I turned into a bitch and stole from my sisters. I told lies about them. I interfered with my oldest sister’s minor children. I created much trouble in the family. I was kicked out of the family because of my lies, stealing and trouble-making. I decided to take revenge on all of them and wrote my book as a way to get back at everyone in my life, especially my sisters.”

    GOT IT JOAN? – NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP.

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4 Comments
  1. I am always perplexed after reading ONE MORE ATTEMPT by Joan to shit on the birth family. I wonder why this woman can’t accept the circumstances of her adoption. She’s not a child, a teenager, or a 20-something person trying to make sense of JUST learning about her adoption. She has had years to find peace with it, to understand it as much as she can, and to live her life happy, joyous, and free!

    But instead, she keeps beating this old dog and blaming everyone for her sad, sad life. It’s as if someone (the devil) is perched on her shoulder saying, “Damn right, Joan! Hurt these people the way you were hurt. It’s perfectly fine to spew your anger and to blame these devils for your lot in life. Give it to ’em! Give it to ’em! Yeah! Go Joan!”

    For fuck sake! She needs to stop!

  2. Thanks Paula…
    like we keep telling her…other people are watching and she really does need to grow the fuck up and get a life WITHOUT us! She really is into S and M…she craves it.

  3. Ruth here – it was me who wrote a comment defending my mother’s honor again. Because Joan went ON OUR MOTHER’S BIRTHDAY to spew more hate at her mother’s other children!

    What is this last sentance that Joan wrote?: “Gee, I wonder what a person who was kept by the remaining parent and not given up for adoption would say?”

    WHAT does this mean? Joan knows damn well there were 4 other persons who were kept by the remaining parent and not given up for adoption (me, my two sisters and our brother) and Joan knows DAMN well what we would say, because WE HAVE BEEN SAYING IT FOR THE PAST 30 YEARS AND THE LAST 2 – 3 YEARS ON OUR BLOG!

    yes, our mother is DEAD. (let her rest in peace bitch-Joan).
    yes, our father gave our younger sister up for adoption. (get over it bitch-Joan).
    yes, our childhood was not from the pages of Pollyanna, nor was it from the pages of Hannbal Lechter.
    yes, we did think of our younger sister from time-to-time.
    no, we did not ALWAYS eat hotdogs. (by the way, Joan fed her own two kids hotdogs – so?)
    yes, we made a BIG mistake in finding bitch-Joan when she was 18.
    yes, we welcomed her into our lives and hearts.
    yes, we booted her back out of our lives because Joan turned out to be a liar, a thief, a harasser, a manipulator, a trouble-maker, a straight up bitch.
    yes, we got her book pulled from publication because we sent ACTUAL COURT DOCUMENTS that proved that what Joan said in her “truthful” book was NOT truthful, but blatant LIES – LIES ENGINEERED TO DAMAGE THE REPUTATION OF HER SISTERS, HER MOTHER’S OTHER CHILDREN!

    So Joan gets on this new forum and says that she loves someone she’s never met. (her birth mother), then continues the next day to keep spreading more lies about the husband and children of this person that she says she loves.

    We have said it before Joan and we will say it again:
    SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH ABOUT OUR FATHER AND US!

    If you want to keep on your “crusade” against adoption and your fight for your birth certificate – go right ahead. We don’t care about that. What we DO care about is your continual spreading of FALSEHOODS about us and our father and our family.

    Joan, all you need do is write:

    “I was born prematurely to a young mother who died of cancer shortly after I was born. She was only 30 years old and left behind me and 4 other young children. There were no daycare centers in 1956. Welfare did not exist then as it does now. My paternal grandparents were elderly, and could not take care of 5 little kids, one being a newborn. Other relatives also could not help out for various personal and financial reasons. A relative asked my father if he would consider giving the baby to an infertile couple who wanted to adopt. My father consulted his parish priest and agreed to relinquish the baby. He had almost an entire year to re-consider his decision, but did not.

    My adoptive parents raised me as an only spoiled chiled, yet told me that my birth family were poor. When I was 18, I was found by birthsiblings. When I got to know my birthfamily, I realized that although their childhood was not idyllic, they were not poverty-stricken as my adoptive parents told me. I was angered by the lies told me.

    Six years into our reunion, I turned into a bitch and stole from my sisters. I told lies about them. I interfered with my oldest sister’s minor children. I created much trouble in the family. I was kicked out of the family because of my lies, stealing and trouble-making. I decided to take revenge on all of them and wrote my book as a way to get back at everyone in my life, especially my sisters.”

    GOT IT JOAN? – NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP.

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