abandonment, abuser, adoption, adoption reunions, Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change, being downright nasty, birth/adoptive families, browbeating to get your own way, change your life, co-dependency, confrontations with Joan Wheeler, exploiting a dying dead mother, family honor, Forbidden Family a book of lies, indentity conflicts, self pity, whining, worthlessness
Was Joan Wheeler adopted or abandoned? There really is a big difference!
On the following thread, I do not have the date this happened, but that is not all that important. What is important is what Joan Wheeler keeps saying. No wonder she is a lost cause. She continues to view her life as one of being abandoned when in fact that was NOT the case…it is how she views it and, it bears repeating…it’s all in her head.
Someone on the forum said:
has anyone had this? I’ve had normal counselling but never found it very helpfull. Being adopted makes me have no confidence and trust in people, I think it’s my fault i’m adopted and it hurts that my birth parents never even wanted pictures or a hold of me when I was born. It also hurts that they never came to see me, or wanted to see me and they thought that they’d just give me up and that was the end of it, like it was that simple and how could they go through the process of giving up your child 3 times. Im also scared of being rejected by my birth family, and it makes me feel down at times.
someone else on the forum said:
many counsellors do not realise the issues we have that stem from our status as adoptees. if i were you, i’d try to find one who does understand. they don’t have to be adopted themselves but they *must* know that adoption gives rise to a huge amount of pain and damage. i think we’re wasting our time if we go to someone who says oh yes, you’re adopted (i.e., so what????) and moves on to other matters like its not significant. try any support service or search person in your area for a recommendation.
Ask your counselor about abandonment issues. Adoptees have to cope with being abandoned in reality. Don’t let a therapist tell you it’s in your head because that’s not true. You really were abandoned and facing that, coping with it, and incorporating being abandoned in your life is the goal of adoption counseling. There are identity issues as well, such as having two names and two families. This makes it difficult for an adoptee to find an understanding therapist, one who knows how to deal with adoptees’ issues. Good luck!
Joan knows all to well about counselors…she’s been going to them for decades! In Joan’s case she learned about her birth family very early and she learned that she was in fact NOT abandoned…there was a death of a parent and there were no means available to care for her…if she chooses to see it as abandonment, than so be it. She was NOT left on a doorstep. She was NOT toss aside! She HAD 24/7/365 care from the time of birth! Her adoption was necessary…NOT because she wasn’t wanted but because she NEEDED the care that adoption gives!
Yep, Joan sure knows all about counselors…and of course she would tell everyone…don’t let a therapist tell you it’s in your head because she probably has done it more than once herself, tell a therapist that it’s NOT in her head, its real! She always has to be contrary…if someone doesn’t agree with her logic, they are wrong, not her. It is NOT true that all adoptees have abandonment issues. Most of Joan ‘issues’ came from the people who adopted her…and…that has NOTHING to do with the birth family and in particular why Joan goes after us birth sibling.
Why does having two families have to be a identity issue? Joan should be happy she KNEW, from an early age, who her parents and family were and she had them. It was she who destroyed all those relationships.
As long as the adoptee CAN’T find a understanding therapist, they will always stay SICK with their various abandonment issue…poor things!!! These idiots ought to go to places where there are some real hard cases of neglected and abandoned children and, heaven forbid, give a helping hand to those that really do have NO ONE to help them.
Pity-parties are not pretty…they are pretty disgusting. With all the truly needy and abandoned people in the world Joan Wheeler really ought to be ashamed of herself by presenting such a falsehood to the adoption community.
UPDATE MARCH 2017; as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler (Doris Michol Sippel) says about me and family. The first book ‘Forbidden Family, A Half Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism‘ was published in 2009 but then was pulled from publication by the publisher in May 2011, for libelous material within the book. Then in 2015, she ‘self-published’ a ‘revised’ version calling it ‘Forbidden Family, an adoptee duped by adoption’. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor! Then in 2016 Joan changed her name back to her birth name and rewrote and republished the SAME crap in another book; a Third edition! CALLED ‘Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity’! Talk about conning people!
https://gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/ this blog is titled Reclaiming the Sippel-Herr Family Honor
this blog’s title/sub title is… DUPED BY ADOPTION & AN WOMAN’S STRUGGLE FOR IDENTITY, A BOOK STUDY an in-depth analyzes of the books called Forbidden Family; My Life as an Adoptee Duped by adoption & An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity by Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel.
Also see this Facebook page
In addition…see the ‘discussion’ forums, on Amazon, for two of the books. The first book has one review and several comments related.
Forbidden Family: My Life as an Adoptee Duped by Adoption forum
Joan Mary Wheeler forum
review of first book and 4 comments