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The lies and ugly statements of Joan Wheeler are there for the whole world to see…forever!

by on October 23, 2012

When that lying book, Forbidden Family, written by Joan Wheeler, was pulled from publication, May of 2011, we birthsiblings were elated! Then I got started, out on the web, to bring FULL attention to that fact. I went on so many online book-seller sites and all kinds of forums where Joan lied. I left many a comment about the book’s demise. At that time I was not so much interested in answering whatever Joan was saying, only in getting the NEWS out that that book was no longer being printed because of the libel in it.

But then Joan started attacking us anew because we had ‘pressured’ the publisher; no we did not, we told the truth. It was Joan who, would not, still cannot believe that her ‘life-story’, as she wrote it was/is considered slander/libel. Her life story, of lies, and her browbeating bully-tactics are oh so ‘boring’; only she and Brian don’t get it. But, the point is, that because of Joan’s own renewed attacks upon us, from May 2011, and other life-situations/events, I have NOT gone back to take another look at many sites I was on before, over a year ago.

Hard as it may seem to people, I have a mountain of files on Joan Wheeler! I have probably every website she has ever been on! I have many drafts that I have had no time to get back to and I have many captured sites/words of Joan’s that I haven’t even looked at since 2011. One of the main reasons for the delay is because Joan herself has kept up her pace of attacks upon us, with sending her ‘friends’ in various forms and with her constant attacks upon us on public pro-adoption sites and the most outrageous is her boy-friend Brian Maloney’s attacks and blog against us. So yes, indeed, Joan has kept us busy and I’m sure she will continue to do so. But hey, we are here for the duration…Joan’s choice, close down all those hate blogs she has against us or hear from us forever!

It should also be remembered here that I did not obtain a blog of my own until July 2011 and most of my work was being done at public libraries and/or emails to Ruth for her to post on her blog. Of course, once I got my own blog and then internet access at home, in June of 2012, I have been able to keep up the pace of ‘exposing’ the dirty deeds and words of Joan Wheeler. It is a dirty job but someone has to do it and Ruth and I shall continue on with it.

So imagine my surprise when recently I had gone back to a website, where I had left a notice of the demise of the book. Someone had left a congratulation comment about having the book pulled and Ruth had left a thank you comment back in May 2011. And, just now, I found another ‘supporter’ of OURS leave a comment for us, in Sept 2011.

As the title of this post says, the lies and ugly statements of Joan Wheeler are there for the whole world to see…forever! Whenever, wherever, I find them, I shall make them available on our blogs, refuting and reclaiming what Joan Wheeler has said and done.

So here is the site address, where all can be seen.

I am presenting things in reverse order; my notice of the demise of the lying book, a congratulation to that, Ruth’s return thank you, and another’s voice against Joan and for us. Then Joan three comments. —-

Gert McQueen

It needs to be pointed out that the book Forbidden Family, written by Joan Wheeler, published by Trafford Publications has been pulled from their selling markets. The book in unavailable and no further copies of it’s present form will be printed. The book was pulled by the publisher after several months of investigating the documented proof sent to them by the birth family. The pulling of the book proves that what the birth sisters have been saying, that the book is full of lies and hate, is correct. For further details see: May. 16 2011 04:13 PM


Congratulations on getting Forbidden Family pulled. I have been following your story.  May. 19 2011 09:27 PM

Ruth Pace from Buffalo

thank you very much Laurel.
While I understand adoptees right to a birth certificate and passport and such, I do NOT understand adoptees trashing other human beings. Infertile women, birth mothers, adoptive mothers, siblings who were NOT adopted out,- are all frequent targets of hate from these “angry” adoptees. And to have to suffer from slander and libel from one own bloodkin, and all I ever did was be reunited with my sister who was relinguised to adoption. I was only 3 years old when Joan was adopted, I did nothing. I welcomed her back into my life when I was 22, with open arms and heart – and got stabbed in the back for it. Then had to open a book and read awful lies about myself. We were reunited with Joan in 1974. Worst thing we ever did. May 21 2011 01:35 AM

Lisa Marie from NJ

I too am tired of the angry adoptees as well. Also tired of the birth mothers crying about choices THEY made. Get over yourselves and instead of screwing up other peoples lives learn to enjoy the time you have on earth. Mutual consent fair to all.

Ruth and Gert the best to you for opening up your heart and lives. To bad your sister is so busy being angry and so busy with adoption reform movement instead of mending relationships with your family. Everyone should go to your website “refuting a book of lies” and read about an adoption reunion and what an angry adoptee has done to her reunited family. Not all reunions are happily ever after fairy tales. Opening up birth certificates not only affects birth parents and adopted person also affects siblings and extended family. Sep. 09 2011 08:53 AM

and my own newest comment

Gert McQueen from watertown ny

To Lisa Marie from NJ

I only recently have seen your comment of Sept 2011. I thank you for your comments. Since that time I have gotten a blog of my own @ called reclaiming the family honor that Joan Wheeler stole. I would encourage all to know and understand the full extent of the damage that Joan Wheeler had and still is doing to visit my blog and my sister Ruth’s @ called refuting the lies of Joan Wheeler.
and here is my newest blog post about this…

Again, thank you Lisa Marie from NJ  Oct. 23 2012 04:25 PM


—-Here now are three comments from Joan from August 2010.

Joan Wheeler born Doris Sippel from Western New York

I have been fighting for my rights to my original birth certificate in NYS since 1974 when I was 18 years old and found by full blood siblings my adoptive parents did not ever want me to know. This discussion currently revolves around not-married natural parents and illegitimate adoptees and an assumption that all natural parents must hide in shame of unmarried sex. Not all adoptees are of illegitimate birth. I am a half orphan. I was born to married parents, Mom died, leaving behind a newborn and 4 other children. The Catholic Church stepped in and suggested to our father that the only way to proceed was to give up the newborn so she could have two parents and keep the others. My birth certificate was intact for the first year of my life. I lived as a foster child with my pre-adoptive parents for 9 months before my adoption was finalized, after which my birth certificate (of a legitimate birth) was sealed, and a new “amended” birth certificate was issued claiming that my new parents were my parents of birth — thus claiming they were my biological parents. My true mother of birth was stripped of her right to be my mother for all eternity — and she did not give her consent for my adoption! Her “right to privacy or confidentiality” was never in question, but her right to be my mother was obliterated. My natural father, however, signed an agreement that stated he “hereby consents to said adoption and covenants and agrees to acquiesce therein and to refrain from doing or causing to be done any act or thing whatsoever which will in any way interfere with the rights, duties and privileges of said child when so adopted.” He was never told that my birth certificate would be altered and sealed. He was verbally told to stay away from my adoptive parents but they were not told to stay away from him. Other adoptees who are forced into adoption slavery are those who were also born legitimately but were kept in foster care and freed for adoption, step-parent adoptees and full and half orphans. The full spectrum of adoptees must be considered to see the full inequality of the sealed and falsified birth certificate issue. What is needed is to replace the amended and falsified birth certificate with a Certificate of Adoption, and better yet, eliminate adoption, period. Guardianship and kinship care are far superior to the irrevocable finality and destruction of adoption. Also, keep in mind that natural parents, particularly the mothers who give birth, are forbidden any copy of a birth record — as if the birth never took place. The only reason my natural father had my birth certificate was because I was born within a marriage and adoption was not the priority at my birth — the fact that my mother was dying was the priority. Adoption as practiced in America is terribly wrong on so many levels. Aug. 03 2010 04:40 PM

Joan Wheeler born Doris Sippel from Western New York

Erich- Searching and Reunion have nothing to do with unsealing birth certificates. Protecting parents who do not wish to be found is purely an American ideal. This question is not an issue in other more progressive parts of the world.
Parents who give birth, or who sire a child are obligated to be named on a birth certificate for the person they created. Those are the facts of life. Would you suggest that unmarried fathers should not be forced to take paternity suits and pay child support? These men don’t want to be found but they are found, even if they are married to someone else and have a first family.
Women whose names are on an original birth certificate factually gave birth. Removing their names from a birth certificate to “protect” them from embarrassment is fictionalizing the truth of what happened in the birth of a real person. It is also fraud.
As I stated in a previous post, my natural mother died 3 months after my birth. She did not relinquish me for adoption, my natural father did so 1month after Mom’s death. There was no shame in my birth, yet the law sealed my actual birth certificate from me and issued a false Certificate of Live Birth with the following information on it: that a woman gave birth to me, (who factually did not), that this birth was a “single” birth, that the birth took place in a designated hospital at a specific time. NONE of those facts took place. Those details were taken from my actual birth certificate and re-stated on my amended birth certificate. The mother named on my new birth certificate did not factually give birth to me, therefore, the amended Certificate of Live Birth issued one year and three months after my actual birth is factually incorrect. NO hospital records recording that mother’s labor and delivery will ever be found, yet my amended birth certificate clearly states that she gave birth to me vaginally in a single, not twin, not triplet, birth. How do you justify that, Erich?
The gov altered my identity. To be factually correct, the facts of my adoption ought to be presented on a Certificate of Adoption. But the American government has not caught on to what is done in other more progressive countries, such as The Netherlands. There, each adoptee has one and only one unsealed birth certificate, and one adoption certificate and BOTH of these documents are needed for identity purposes.
For more information, please visit my website: http// and buy my book, Forbidden Family. My adoptive mother threw my original birth certificate and adoption papers at me when I was first reunited with siblings she never wanted me to know. I have published these documents in my book. Even though I have all of my personal papers, and no other new information will be found, I am still legally banned from receiving my original birth certificate from New York State.Aug. 04 2010 11:38 AM

Joan Wheeler born Doris Sippel from Western New York

Erich- your sudden politeness and wishing “us” luck in working this out does nothing to actually change the laws, nor change public opinion. In the past as well as present, unmarried women who give birth are considered as deviants, as pointed out by Carol Whitehead. So, their illegitimate children were, and are, also considered deviants because they are illegitimate bastards, politely known as adoptees. However, as I have pointed out, many adoptees are not illegitimate, we are half and full orphans, or other legitimately-born people who were adopted out of foster care or by stepparents. Yet, as the law was written nearly 80 years ago to “legitimize” illegitimates, adoptees who were legitimately born and then adopted face misplaced stigma and discrimination. These are all moral judgments yet when one looks at the current state of affairs – pun intended or not – of unmarried couples living together and producing children, and so many divorces and remarriages giving rise to so many blended families, why is it still considered deviant behavior for adoptees to want truthful birth certificates? Many people answered your questions, Erich, now, I’m asking you to address all the points I’ve raised in my posts here. Clearly, with white Christians rushing to adopt all those black unfortunate orphans from Haiti and Africa, (and other racial children from Korea and China and South America) there are many children being removed from their families who are not orphans at all and who are not illegitimately born yet these adoptees are subject to the same mangled birth certificates as illegitimate white, domestically born, bastards. No one deserves to be mislabeled and mistreated due to the assumptions and value judgments of others. I am a legitimate half orphan bastardized by adoption. What do you say to that, Erich? How about all of you who oppose adoptees’ access to the truth of our births? How many more decades will pass before you self-righteous bigots stay out of our lives and give us back our civil rights? Just how many priests have fathered illegitimate bastard children? Is that the real reason the Catholic Church opposes adoptee access to our sealed birth certificates? Why are our birth certificates falsified at all? Why not do what other more progressive countries do – issue a Certificate of Adoption and keep both documents unsealed? Aug. 04 2010 01:15 PM


One Comment
  1. Reblogged this on Refuting a Book of Lies: Forbidden Family — and commented:

    the lies are long and deep…but always we shall find them…

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