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Joan Wheeler has, oh yes another name! Kaykal. She is so easy to find! And I wasn’t even looking! Her internet footprints are everywhere! The audience is getting smaller and smaller!

by on October 25, 2012

Doesn’t she have any kind of a life? You never hear anything about what she is doing or what she likes EXCEPT browbeating people over adoption! This time she has been addressing New Jersey’s governor Christie’s ‘compromise’ on Adoptees’ birthright bill unfair….

So here we see some of the current comments by Joan, as Kaykal, and my comments that I posted after each of hers; Oct 25, 2012

you can go directly to my profile page and see my comments, as you can go directly do Kaykal’s profile and see all hers for not all of what she said is here, but who the hell gives a damm anyway. My comments are in bold.

Re: Opinion: Christie’s ‘compromise’ on Adoptees’ birthright bill unfair

When my father stood in front of the judge on the day he and my adopting parents signed the Final Order of Adoption, the judge told him that he could search for and make contact with me when I turned 18. Yet, mothers are told that they can NEVER find their grown children again. Gender bias. Why? Is it because my parents were married and my mother died and that’s why I was given up? The whole system of adoption is corrupt….more

2 Weeks Ago

Regarding comment by Kaykal…

When Kaykal, (JMW) was 18, I placed the phone call to her that reunited her with the birth-family. It was the siblings that made the contact, my father had no input in that decision, it was us four siblings that made that decision, after speaking with a lawyer and adoption agency. At 18, JMW was a legal adult and contact could and was made. As it turned out, that was the worst decision we ever made! But hey, life happens, but, if she never wrote that libelous book she wouldn’t have us in her face today; that is totally her fault. see my/sister blogs @  &  The reason she was placed into adoption has nothing to do with gender bias! Our mother died, there was NO one to care for her, the last born, only option was adoption! Within one year after her adoption, we 4 siblings were placed in orphan and foster homes, for the same reason…there was NO ONE to care of us. Kaykal is just an angry adoptee who will not accept her life as it is! Time to move on!

Re: Opinion: Christie’s ‘compromise’ on Adoptees’ birthright bill unfair

This is why I have been saying for over 35 years that this is a national issue. We need Federal Law, a Constitutional Amendment, or a Presidential Order, or a Supreme Court Decision to undo the 1930 law that was written to hide illegitimate ba..ds and their “unwed” mothers. The proposed law, which became law across the nation, was read before the American Public Health Association at the 59th annual meeting of the Vital Statistics Section: meaning that this was drawn up by the two authors of the paper: two Registrars of Vital Statistics who thought that making a new birth certificate upon adoption would “legitimize” the “illegitimate bas..ds” and make them legal because they would have a legal father through adoption.

The above is referenced on pages 53 and 54 in the book: Family Matters: Secrecy and Disclosure in the History of Adoption, by E. Wayne Carp, 1998. And please read: “The Idea of Adoption: An Inquiry into the History of Adult Adoptee Access to Birth Records” by Elizabeth J Samuels, Rutgers law review, 2001, as this also addresses the laws from the past that are in place today.

Please go back and read my other posts about sealing and falsifying birth certificates for adoptees. What we need, Gov Christie, is for you to NOT say that “adoptees want it all” but for you to read the above books, know what you are dealing with, know that all but two states seal adoptees’ birth certificates, but all states,e ven the two that do not seal the original birth certificates, create new, amended birth certificates that name the new parents as giving birth to the child named on the new birth certificate. These are legal lies. This must be stopped. The sealing of adoptees birth certificates must be stopped. Adoptees must have the legal right to obtain their own birth certificates.

You, Gov Chrisite, are just parroting what you think you know. Educate yourself on the real issues before you chastise adoptees. The proof you need is in those books. Stop the horrendous treatment of adoptees who were innocent newborns or older children when they had no control over their own lives. …more

2 Weeks Ago

Regarding comment by Kaykal…

What Kaykal (JMW) ought to do is lobby for changes, in the offices of the law-makers, not on these types of public opinion sites. Public opinions will NOT change the laws; present a paper/petition to the law-makers. Insulting and browbeating public officers and others will NOT give your opinions any weight. Just because Kaykal is insulted, angry and has a lot of self-righteous indignation doesn’t mean that the laws ought to be changed, her way. see my/sister blogs @  &  to know and understand all of the ‘horrendous treatment’ that Kaykal (JMW) has done to her birth family.

Re: Opinion: Christie’s ‘compromise’ on Adoptees’ birthright bill unfair

Yeah, Romney is LDS. I knew that, just threw the question out to see if the general public, or the Gov Christie backers, knew the answer. And yes, I’ve addressed Obama’s possible adoption in my local paper. If he was adopte, he wouldn’t be able to produce a birth certificate because the records are sealed. Most of the “birthers” don’t know what they are talking about. Dig a little deeper and we all should be birthers: where are the real birth certificates of 7 million adoptees? …more

3 Weeks Ago

Regarding comment by Kaykal…

Yes by all means everyone ought to ‘Dig a little deeper’ into the statements of Kaykal (JMW) and her boyfriend’s as well.

Here is where her article can be found……/article450236.ece

see my/sister blogs @  &  for more about what Kaykal (JMW) has to say.

Re: Opinion: Christie’s ‘compromise’ on Adoptees’ birthright bill unfair

I knew you two (Romeny and Jo Swanson) would bring up those issues! Yep, “birthmother privacy” and “abortions will skyrocket” and any other excuse (such as rape victims and incest…) simply do not address the very facts that older children who are adopted, whether out of foster care, or by stepparent, or given back to the agency once or twice and re-adopted a second or third time (thus having multiple birth certificates), or children who have lost a parent to death or both parents have died — all of these children are penalized by the sealed and falsified birth certificate laws.

If the general public and our lawmakers would really think about the consequences of these laws, we wouldn’t be in this mess. Oh, and, when a divorced mother relinquishes her child to be adopted by her second husband, she is not hiding behind “Birthmother privacy and confidentiality” and nor will she demand that her name be stricken from her grown child’s true birth certificate when he petitions for a copy of his birth record. The child adopted out of foster care still has ties to his natural parents and siblings and probably grandparents and cousins as well. Locking his birth certificate up and creating a new one upon adoption is ludicrous.

Forcing children born of married parents to lose their identity because “this is the way we do adoption and you can’t change it” is just as ludicrous.

Of course we can change it! Since the present laws we have in individual states today are based upon the paper presented to the annual meeting of the American Health Association Vital Statistics Section in 1930 by two Registrars of Vital Statistics with the intent to solve the “problem” of illegitimacy in the country of the United States, then surely we can find an attorney who will present a counter-point to the 1930 law to rectify the injustices suffered as a result of incompetent law makers of a single-minded attack on unmarried mothers and their “illicit” babies. Is there a way to upload documents to this thread? I have the 7-page document that started this country on the path we have today.

Anyone out there willing to take the case to the Supreme Court to fight for adoptees? There are at least 7 million of us or more. And we vote. Where does Obama stand on this issue? Does anyone know? What is Romney’s position on adoptees’ rights?

I will vote for the person who will change the law across the nation: equal rights for adoptees to have access to their sealed birth certificates, un-redacted, untouched, and certified to be true. And, while you’re at it, make the amended birth certificate null and void. And then, give adoptees the option to have an adoption certificate created. And then, do not seal birth certificates of adoptees from this day forward. Do not issue amended – falsified – birth certificates, but rather, issue adoption certificates. Sound radical? It isn’t. This is the way it was done before 1930. A birth certificate records the facts of the actual birth. Period.

Adoptees want everything? Adoptees need to compromise? I think the fathers do not want to be identified. Hiding priests as fathers? Hiding lawyers and doctors as fathers? Putting the blame on the mother and telling her she must keep her mouth shut and hide to keep “her” privacy and/or confidentiality protected is the manly thing to do. Yep. God Christians all. Meanwhile, the orphans and stepparent adoptees and foster care adoptees get thrown into your mess. Be man enough to stop the lies.

I think I’ll go throw up now. …more

3 Weeks Ago

Regarding comment by Kaykal…

In NY State when a person is over the age of 14 they must give their own permission to be adopted. Then there are very extensive background investigations and interviews with the older children. My son was 16 when he gave his permission to be adopted, by my 2nd husband. My daughter was 15 and choose not to be adopted. During this time, in my parental decisions for my minor children Kaykal (JMW) interfered, called me unfit because I was causing great harm to my son by adopting him! I told her to butt out of my parental rights and decisions and forbade her to have contact with my children. Because I would not listen to her she placed 2 false child abuse reports upon me. This was in 1979/82.  I had 3 contacts with her over the decades. Then in 2009 she wrote a libelous book, which we birthsiblings  were able to get pulled from further publication. Who listens to a liar? see my/sister blogs @  &  I know all too well what Kaykal (JMW) is capable of doing and so should everyone else and then everyone can throw up! Get your bags ready, it isn’t pretty!

Re: Opinion: Christie’s ‘compromise’ on Adoptees’ birthright bill unfair

Carol Barbieri wrote an excellent article spelling out the absurdity of Gov Christie. And it is absurd. This notion of giving NATURAL parents (stop using the derogatory term “birth” parents please) the power to have their names removed from an adoptee’s true birth certificate is completely and utterly ridiculous. When a frightened pregnant and not married mother gives birth, pound it into her head that she cannot possibly take care of her newborn, make her feel as if she has no other option but to sign away all her parental rights to her child, tell her she will go onto lead a better life, and tell her to move on as if it never happened — and then, 20, 30, 50 or 75 years later give her back the right to have power over the adult daughter or son she gave birth to, doesn’t this seem more than a little bit odd? A 75 or 85 year old woman is going to have the power to remove her name from a birth certificate of a child who is now a middle aged adult? The natural parents HAVE NO RIGHTS. NONE. They are out of this equation. Period.

A birth certificate is a legal and medical document that records the factual information of an actual birth. Since 1930, all but two states took on variations of sealed and amending birth certificates for adoptees to hide illegitimacy and to protect the adoptive parents from intrusion. The illegitimate child was considered to be legitimized by adoption. The natural parents were legally wiped out of existence.

To now go back into history and resurrect these mothers (and fathers) and give them the opportunity to erase their names from a document of a person they were told they are no longer legally attached to is such a gross miscarriage of justice. No adult should be subject to parental authority after the age of 21 (and the age of majority in most states used to be 18). According to Gov Christie, the big bad mommies should cower in fear and demand legal protections when the state took away all legal authority over the child at the time of relinquishment?

I’m sorry to repeat this in different terms, but I fail to understand the logic here. Maybe I’m the one who is not thinking clearly.

I read all the comments here and not a single one refers to the problem of kids who were adopted by their stepfather, for example. Say the kid is 7, and Mom is divorced, marries someone else and now the step father becomes adoptive father. This 7 year old’s name will be changed to the new father’s last name, maybe he’ll be able to keep his first name, and his birth certificate will then be sealed and then he’ll get a new, amended, false birth certificate because he is now adopted.

Gov Christie’s logic doesn’t cover this child’s sealed birth certificate does it? What about a child who is born to married parents and one of them dies? And then the remaining parent relinquishes that child to adoption? The adoptee’s birth certificate is sealed, falsified, and still, according to Gov Christie, this adoptee will still have to seek permission from the natural parent to get his birth certificate from the secret vault? Is there even a provision to cover the fact that the natural mother of the adoptee died?

The Catholic Bishops and Right to Life always want to point out the most horrendous acts of illicit sex so that the inflicted mother will have to be hidden away forever. But there are many more reasons that children are relinquished to adoption. It is not one size fits all.

And the real issue is not reunion. There is no need for confidential intermediaries. The real issues are the facts that all adoptees suffer when the state takes their birth certificate away from them because of the perceived sins of the natural mother, and then issues a falsified birth certificate.

Not a single person here, not even Gov Christie, not even the Catholic Bishops, nor the Right To Life, has ever addressed the nonsensical thinking of perpetuating the absurd notion of making false birth certificates upon adoption. Stop the production of these erroneous documents, start using logic, issue true adoption certificates, unseal the true birth certificates, and stop the stupidity.

Get on with your lives and let adoptees lead their own lives. All of you go on Ancestry dot com and have a heyday. But damn, you illegitimate bas…ds better not cause any trouble or we’ll tell your mommies on you. Trouble is, more than half of adoptees are not illegitimate at all. And we can’t get our birth certificates either. …more

3 Weeks Ago

Regarding comment by Kaykal…

People who live in glass houses should not throw stones! Kaykal (JMW) has no right to talk about how other people live their lives. She, at 23, knew what was best for me and my children!!! NOT. Just because she is anti-adoption doesn’t mean that adoption is bad and wrong for EVERYONE. I am an adoptive mother and Kaykal (JMW) interfered where she did not belong…with my parental authority and minor children. Listen to her at your own risk. see my/sister blogs @  & to learn how Kaykal treats both adoptive and birth families…of her own!

There was more…actually I had 7 comments prepared but who gives a shit… five out of seven…not bad…it’s about time that people around the country start to know all about what Joan Wheeler is about and I’m just going to keep on talking…

One Comment
  1. Reblogged this on Refuting a Book of Lies: Forbidden Family — and commented:

    she just doesn’t know when to shut her mouth,

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