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How my family has been touched by adoption; both positive and negative aspects by Gert McQueen

by on January 13, 2013

MY STORY: December 2012


I was asked to write on this topic, in which ‘some quotes’ from it, would appear in a much larger piece of work, by the individual who asked me to write ‘my story’. This article, place on this, my blog, will be referenced in the ‘larger piece’. I do not know when or where that work will be; but when I know I shall make it known. Here then is MY STORY, which was very therapeutic for me to write and I’m thankful for having been asked to do so. This is a long piece,  about 4,600 words. I do not feel it right to split it up into two sections.

Preface: I take no official position for or against adoption. I am a birth mother. I have two children. I am an adoptive mother, who provided my child with a father, it was positive. I have a birth sibling, who was placed into adoption; the aftermath of reunion was devastating, that was negative. I reject the notion that separation and adoption affects negatively on all family members, all the time. Adoption and the separation of a sibling did not adversely damage me or my family. The individual adoptee’s behavior, since reunion, is what caused devastating effects. It is always the individual, not the institution, who causes the problems; all politics are local.

Here is my family’s story.

In the winter of 1955/56, in a hospital bed, where she laid, to keep her pregnancy intact, a young wife/mother gave birth to her 5th child, a girl; there were 3 other girls and 1 boy, all very young. The husband/father had his elderly parents helping with the care of the four and the newborn then was in care with a family relative. The husband/father knew that his wife was dying, of cancer; she died March, 28, 1956.

So, the widower/father searched for a solution. He proposed to a woman, who had 2 fatherless children saying that he would help raise them, if she would help raise his 5 motherless children. She agreed, but not to the infant; the last born. They were married, 3 months after the death of the children’s mother, in June 1956. Other family members knew of an older couple (10 years older than the natural parents) that were infertile and wanted a child. Adoption was the solution to provide for this infant and the rest of the family in the second marriage.

The infant was adopted quickly, removed from the relatives who had been giving physical care, to the adopting couple; for the day that the husband’s wife died, this last child also became ‘dead’, for that was the only psychological means and way that allowed him to give up his child.

The remaining 4 children and step-children’s lives were uprooted again in 1957 when the 2nd wife developed a mental illness and was hospitalized. The six children were placed in various orphan/foster homes; one of them, me, barely returned to their father’s care. Life was hard at times and the 4 children always wondered about their baby sister. That child, which was adopted out of the family, was raised as an only spoiled child, that and more were to be learned, the hard way, in years to follow.

I, (G), am the eldest, had married and had children of my own in the middle 60’s. My brother, 2 sisters and a step-brother, were living with our father; it was rough for them, they all had to be ‘grown-ups’ , fast, to keep house and home; for Dad had to work two jobs. Early 1970’s my father met a woman with 2 girls, the youngest ‘fall in love’ with my father. Dad married again, we all were happy for this. In time Dad ‘adopted’ his step-daughter. Yes, he gave away one and then later adopted another. Does anyone know what life will bring them?

In 1974, we four siblings decided, after researching it, that yes, siblings can make contact, and we did when she was 18. We had known, through family members, who knew who adopted our sister and what her name was. We collectively made the decision that we would ‘make contact’. This, as it turned out, was the biggest mistake of our collective lives!  For, our sister may have our genes, but she was not raised with us and we did not share any common history. She ‘inherited’, unfortunately, many negative views and behaviors from the adopted parents and does have many mental imbalances that could have been from genes or from the adopted parents. Who knows what the fates decide for anyone!

We were ‘reunited’ in 1974; she was 18, legal age. Right from the get-go there were signs, warnings and eruptions, which quickly turned extremely damaging, destructive and deadly. It would be years before the birth family would be able to get any kind of real sense of the life of our sister had, in adoption. It seemed that under the surface, there had to have been some abuse which prevented this 18 year old to mature reasonably and sanely. According to her, it’s always someone else’s fault; whatever ‘it’ is and adoption ‘made her this way’.

We birth siblings are NOT responsible for adoption circumstances nor should we pay the price, over decades and still at this moment, for that person’s hatred and rage over being adopted. Adoption in itself is not the problem; it’s the individual’s reaction and mindset that is the problem. An individual MUST take responsibility for their own actions; I do, and I expect my birth sibling, which was placed into adoption, to do the same. Instead, I and every member of the birth family have had nothing up severe traumas done to us by this ADOPTEE, because she hates adoption. This adoptee believes that adoption is an evil that must be abolished and that we siblings have suffered great damage to OUR mental health and life circumstances, because of HER adoption. This is faulty logic at best; at worst it is the core cause as to why the birth siblings have taken action against this ONE angry, hate-filled adoptee, who has harmed family in the worst form of ways; character assassinations and insults that is nothing but kin-killing!

Now we have to ‘fast-forward’ to November 2009, for the rest of the story to make any sense. After long years of NOT having this sibling, who is an adoptee, in our lives, anywhere, depending on the individual, from 5 to 30 years, the adoptee published a book called, Forbidden Family, a half orphan’s account of her adoption, reunion and social activism, published by Trafford, with the forward by Prof Dr Rene Hoksbergen of the Netherlands. This person, Hoksbergen, was not professional enough in checking out this adoptee’s story, he just wrote what he was told was the story and in the end did a grave disservice to the birth family and the adoptee as well.

The publication of this book was a ‘print-ready’ package deal which meant; it was the cheapest package the author could afford. The publishing house NEVER read the manuscript and therefore was not aware of the libelous material and raging hate within the pages of this book. Needless to say the entire birth family was taken by surprise and as we read it, we became very angry! Our father said, it’s garbage, throw it away, she is mentally unsound. Two of my sisters created two blogs, in late 2009. I published my posts on one of them before getting my own blog in 2011. It took me a year of reading and writing about the lies in the book before I called the publisher, with our complaints about the lies, misrepresentation and fabrications. We provided documented evidence, of the lies, to the publisher. In May of 2011 the book was pulled, by the publisher, and no longer can be printed. The book may appear, say on Amazon, but those sites are automated, they never take books off; the book will never be reprinted.

Since 2009, we have been refuting the lies and reclaiming the truth and honor of ourselves and family on our blogs and on internet forums where this adoptee seeks after and attacks pro-adoption individuals. This adoptee, this sister, has continued to spread lies, created a blog with intent to continue her slander upon our reputations, enlist other adoptees to attack us, has a boyfriend, who is a stranger to us, created a blog in which he insults, demeans, bullies and intimidates us, birth siblings, because he ‘says’ we are preventing the adoptee to speak ‘her truth’. Why? Because we had the book pulled, we counter her lies on the internet, because we tell our stories and because we exist to discount the adoptee’s views!

In a somewhat outline format, here are some of the severe transgressions that this adoptee has done to each birth sibling and our family and the lies/misrepresentation she states. I now use her initials JW, for the adoptee, for clarity sake in the narrative.

Late 70’s when my father adopted his step-daughter, JW caused great distress in his household and with his wife, to whom JW argued with that she was ‘giving away’ her child ‘into adoption’ and that it was wrong.

*To clarify the process of adopting one’s own child with a husband that is not the parent, it must be understood that there are legitimate ‘legal fictions’. In the adoption papers, the first three pieces of paper are; a) said natural mother signs giving said child up to adoption, b) said natural mother becomes foster/guardian of said child given up into adoption, c) said natural mother becomes the adoptive mother of said child that was given up into adoption. The said child NEVER left the mother!

In the book JW grossed over all the distress, arguments and tension that she created and instead stated that everyone misunderstood her! She further neglects to inform people of the legal ‘legal fiction’ of adoption papers and the process of adoption and the need to change names and to keep things legal. This adoptee calls these, laws and ways of keeping vital statics, lies and fraud that government and church commit. There are laws of the land that must be obeyed, except if you are an adoptee who is angry. Laws can be changed, but that does not happen by slander, libel, browbeating and harassing people that do adopt.

In 1980, before my marriage to 2nd husband, JW wanted a sexual experience with both of us, it happened once, when she asked again, we said no. (This is important to be told here because it is something that JW believes she has as a ‘secret’ that I’m ashamed of, that I don’t want told and that she can blackmail me with, so I will stop refuting her lies. I’m certainly not the first person who had a three-some, even with a sister. JW even has her boy-friend intimidating me, on his hate blog, with ‘if you were not ashamed of your actions’.) I cannot be held hostage to a ‘threat’ of something I am ashamed of…I just spoke of the incident.

So, because my husband and I said no to her, JW then began telling my minor children that they did not have to listen to me. She told my 14 year old daughter that it was okay to date outside of our race; which was a violation of ‘my’ family’s core values, not JW’s right to alienate my children from me and my parental values. In 1980 my husband and I ADOPTED one of my children, my son; my daughter did not want adoption (they were 15 and 16). JW said I was an unfit mother and was causing great harm to my son, by adopting him. This was said in my kitchen in front of my children. I had to remove her from my home. (*See the above explanation of the legal fiction and how it works.) We told her to butt out of our lives and refused her contact with our children. JW retaliated by calling two separate child abuse reports against us; they were proved false and expunged. In 1981, I ‘divorced’ her and my family moved out of that city. It would be another 10 years before I saw her again.

In the book, she lies and states that I got her drunk, stoned and sexually molested her, that my husband was abusing my children, and that our home life was not a good one. She glossed over all the abuse reports and the aftermath with statements that I (G) was unwilling to look at my own misconduct and I blame it all on her! In addition, JW said that over 3 decades I and my other sisters harassed and stalked her.

Truth is, my contacts with JW, after 1982, were a brief afternoon ‘visit’ with family in 1992 (I was willing to let by-gones be by-gones) but within a few hours after the ‘visit’, JW stated many falsehoods about my religious beliefs and mental health to my father. I then continued with my no contact ‘divorce’. Then I received a letter she wrote in 1998 where she wanted to ‘get in touch’ with me, when I called she screamed at me and hung up. I replied with a letter of my own telling her to stay away. Somewhere in 2003 or 05, I called again, to ‘bury the hatchet’, (I’m getting older, would like to put this to rest) we talked, she said she ‘loved’ me, but it wasn’t until the book was published did I see just how much she loved me.

After JW’s interference in the lives of my children and marriage I had a total of 4 contacts with her in 30 years; hardly stalking. In the book she has me writing letters, making phone calls, harassing her aged adoptive mother. In the book she attacks and mocks my religion, putting words in my and other people’s mouths and fabricates any manner of untrue stories to paint me as a horrible, dangerous religious nutcase that will not leave her alone, for decades.

One of us sisters, K, lives in England since the 70s. JW went to England and proceeded to ingratiated herself upon a birth sister, who had limited space/ funds, and in general made herself a pest to K’s friends later by writing and phoning them continually. No one wanted JW around and told K to make sure JW did not write or phone, causing K great distress.

In 1990, JW wrote and published, in England, a short story called The Secret is Out, in which JW had published our real names. K in England wrote to the editor of this publication to complain about the lack of privacy. She then asked JW to return personal property that she had taken back to the States. JW was given monies for the transactions but did not send the goods. When K demanded the return of her goods, JW enlisted the help of Prof Dr Rene Hoksbergen of the Netherlands to write to K in England. In his intimidating letter, my sister K was taken to ‘task’ for not ‘understanding’ the adopted sister, that she does not have funds, etc. and on and on. K wrote to this interloper saying that JW is trying to extort money from her for her own goods. JW was given enough money to do the task but told the Prof that it would be hundreds more to do so. Our father eventually got the goods from JW, returned them to K himself for less money that was given to JW in the first place.

In the book, these episodes are described in a very demeaning fashion, which portrays and slanders a woman who has lived in another country for decades and has many professional distinctions. In the book, JW says nothing about her own lack of responsibility, or, the involvement of Prof Hoksbergen in the private life of our sister, nor the article that publishes our real names. In the book, JW does reference the article, buried in a footnote, which could still be used to access our full names. In the book JW plainly states our family’s heritage names, places of residences and more, contrary to the publisher’s own guidelines, to prevent libel, which also contributed to their decision to pull the book…breach of contract, on the author’s side.

Our brother, who died a few years ago, lived in Arizona, had little to no connect with us, did not like to hear, from JW, the constant negatives she spoke about family members. He stayed neutral. He would not hear negatives about JW from others. He stayed neutral. He did refuse to answer a letter she wrote to him because she wrote nasty things about his other sisters.

In the book JW portrays our brother and his life as one of ‘wealth’, kindness and he being better than the sisters, but that he was ‘turned’ away from her, by all the negative, mean things we sisters told him about her. JW had NOTHING on our brother, because he stayed neutral and out of her reach. So she was reduced to blaming our brother’s lack of contact with her as the ‘three sister’s fault’.

As terrible as these episodes are, of things that we have endured with JW, the sister who had the worst deal, of pain and anguish is our sister R, who lives in the same city as JW. R and JW are closest in age and space/place. In the early years of reunion the two did a lot of things together. R knows JW better than most, for R spent decades dealing with her, giving to her and forgiving her, over and over. The dirty deeds that JW did to R, are numerous, here are only some episodes:

Stealing goods and monies, attempting to break up R’s relationship with her fiancé/husband, writing letters to various agencies/ persons of authority in local government naming R, telling all private matters, accusing R of harassments, taking her to court, getting an order of protection. Calling R’s place of employment, daily, for months on end, to get her fired, because, JW believed that R committed computer fraud even after R’s employment investigated and cleared R, JW was SURE that R did it, and wrote letter after letter and sent copies to R to prove that JW was going to get R.

In the book, JW portrays R as far less than the honorable person that R is; a citizen in good standing with a job history of 40 years at the same hospital. JW paints her in ‘white-trash’ terms of attitude and behavior with mocking words and created/fabricated stories of events that never happened. In print JW states that R has an ‘arrest record’; she does not. JW makes conditions/situations to be longer or shorter than reality, depending on how she wishes to ‘get at’ R. JW mocks R’s infertility and her miscarriage, being insensitive to R’s, or anyone’s feelings of loss, portraying people as ‘not understanding JW’s wealth of knowledge on the subjects’.

In 1998, JW wrote a letter to my adult daughter asking her to commit a crime. She wanted my daughter, who worked in an insurance agency, to access JW’s daughter’s medical claims so JW could proceed with a potential mal-practice upon doctors. My daughter refused. In the book, nothing is said of this deed.

And of course, our father is not immune to the dirty deeds and words of JW. Right up to just before the book was published, JW tried to con my father into paying for her car repairs and the publication of the book. She can, give face to face niceness, politeness and other social nods, but once you disagree with her, she takes off the gloves and goes after you, any way she can. In other words, to my father’s face, she was sweetness, but when she begins to argue with him, he showed her the door (on three separate times) and then JW condemns him to others and in print.

In the book she describes him in very extreme negative terms, condemns him as being over-bearing, authoritative, insensitive, and more, throughout a 30 year reunion. JW is very critical of anyone who does not see things her way, including her father. She describes how our father ‘insulted’ her, by telling her the truth of an ordinary situation, that of car ownership. My dad did not own JW’s car, it is her responsibility, not his and if she expected him to pay for her car repairs he doesn’t need her help. JW volunteered to help him get to appointments. If one volunteers to do something, one does not get to make the rules, if you don’t like the rules don’t volunteer.

Just before publication of this book of lies, which my father called garbage (he had read a couple of chapters) he told JW that ‘it was best that we don’t have contact anymore’, that her arguments, upset him and his wife; they were in their 80’s and didn’t the stress. My father then ‘removed’ JW’s name OFF his prepared obit; he was going to acknowledge her but then withdrew it because of her behavior and what he saw of the book. The family did not know about this change until he died, in 2011. The family gave JW a private time to come to the viewing, when family was not there; no one wanted to see her or be in her presence. When JW went to the viewing, the first thing she did was to yell at the funeral home employees saying that they made a mistake in the obit; leaving her name off. JW then placed a private obit listing, in the newspaper, naming only herself as his child.

The reasons that my father was insulted were because in the book chapters that he read, and which ended up in the published book, were JW’s insults about my father’s heritage and religion.  In the book, her telling of episodes, with my father, she again paints a picture of being ‘misunderstood’ when in actually she was attempting to intimidate him (read elder abuse). JW further has lots to tell, in the book, about what the adoptive mother had to say; ‘we were HIS babysitter for 18 years, HE gained over the years, where we lost, now HE can take care of us’. And this is from a REUNITED DAUGHTER! This is how JW describes, in print, the father who gave her life and the adoptive mother who raised her for decades, whose house JW still lives in! This is how you honor your parents…by lies, slander and gross misrepresentations.

JW details, in the book, her own life of derangements and delusions, how she burnt, in front of her children, all their childhood pictures because JW was upset over being adopted. She tells of horrible arguments with the adoptive parents. The book is 642 pages of pure mental derangements, lies, fabrications, slander and libel. And its purpose is what; to help adoption reform? No, its purpose is for the author to get back at everyone in her life. It’s a hate-manifesto.

This adoptee would not accept my divorce from her, in 1980. She repeatedly made trouble for me and every member of the birth family. Then she wrote a libelous book. She violated the peace. She violated the sacred bond of blood. Today she enlists others to harm the family, to speak for her; so she can claim no knowledge. She is evil. Because she will not stop, she now she has me in her life, to death do we part. I shall counter her lies, everywhere I find them.

Adoption is not an evil that needs to be abolished. People are people; we are all not perfect. When one individual is so consumed with hate and rage, to destroy FAMILY, time and time again, it is that individual that is evil!  End of my story.

Addendum: I was also asked to give some information relating to the religious backgrounds of both birth and adoptive family and to clarify my ‘opinion’ as to whether Joan Wheeler was abused as a child or not.

Our birth families, mother and father, were generational Roman Catholic, as were the adoptive families’ people, who adopted my sister JW. In our birth family; when my father, who was a widower twice, married the 3rd time, she was from the Greek Orthodox Church. The Catholic Church would NOT marry them because she was a divorced person. My father changed to Greek Orthodox, was very happy and active in that church. My father always allowed his children their own views on religion and any other topic/issue.

My deceased brother married Catholic staying as such with his wife and raised his son as Catholic, but, in private he was attuned to the ancestral Gods of Northwestern Europe (the Gods of the Norse).

I myself left any all forms of Christianity when the church would not (1) accept that I needed birth control and (2) when they didn’t recognize my divorce. My first marriage was abusive and there was another child, outside of our marriage, that ‘needed’ to be legitimized, by marriage, if the father was divorced. In my second marriage, religion was no issue; his families were generic ‘Protestants’.

I was agnostic until I found my ancestral Gods of Northwestern Europe as they were known and loved in England (the Angles, Saxons and Jutes, brought their gods into the island with them) and call myself a Heathen. I also study and practice many aspects of Buddhism and Hinduism and have affiliations with certain gods/goddesses in those traditions. I allowed my children from pre-teen years to explore and choice their own religious paths. My son is Catholic. My daughter is Pagan, Wiccan.

My sister R, is Pagan, Wiccan, and has a great love for certain Middle Eastern cultural gods and traditions as she was once married to someone from that culture. My sister K, converted to Reformed Judaism, is very active and happy in that.

JW’s, the adoptee, is very hostile to any form of religion. She claims to be a Unitarian but, in my opinion, because of her constant mockery and insults to other’s religions, hasn’t a clue of or about Unitarian philosophies. She also claims to be a ‘secular humanist’ and an atheist. Apparently, the adoptive parents were not open to anything outside their own Roman Catholic beliefs. They were 10 years older than our parents and that had obvious limitations as to how they could ‘handle’ a child’s questions of the world, religion, science. I have the sense that that family was not opened minded and were very rigid.

As far as ‘abuse’ in JW’s childhood, no, we have no basis for knowing anything concrete. We get the ‘sense’ that it must have happened, because over the years, some of JW’s behaviors and attitudes are typical of those that have been abused; she does not like ‘hands raised toward her’. In her own words she describes many aspects of her behavior, feelings and such and gives many ‘clinic’ signs of mental instabilities. In the book she describes being able to ‘get an adoptive uncle’ who was very negative towards her. The adoptive father was a closet alcoholic, a severe hoarder, and was intimidated by the overbearing wife and daughter. The adoptive mother was also alcoholic, very dominating and possessive. It was common for mother and daughter to yell and scream constantly at each other. JW did the same to her own children. It is my opinion, that, once JW had proof of her birth family, that gave her, in essence, a weapon, called adoption, to use over the heads and hearts of the adoptive parents and family, for the abuse she ‘suffered’ before age 18.     End

months after I had written this article I was asked some interview questions…see this post…


As a member of the real ‘forbidden family’ I answer 10 interview questions related to my article ‘how adoption affected my family’

these two posts go together…

UPDATE NOV 2017; I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler (Doris Michol Sippel) says about me and family. The first book Forbidden Family, A Half Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism‘ was published in 2009 but then was pulled from publication by the publisher in May 2011, for libelous material within the book. Then in 2015, she ‘self-published’ a ‘revised’ version calling it ‘Forbidden Family, an adoptee duped by adoption’. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor! Then in 2016 Joan changed her name back to her birth name and rewrote and republished the SAME crap in another book; a Third edition! CALLED ‘Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity’! Talk about conning people!   this blog is titled Reclaiming the Sippel-Herr Family Honor

this blog’s title/sub title is… DUPED BY ADOPTION & AN WOMAN’S STRUGGLE FOR IDENTITY, A BOOK STUDY an in-depth analyzes of the books called Forbidden Family; My Life as an Adoptee Duped by adoption & An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity by Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel.

Also see this Facebook page


  1. I almost don’t know what to day. To hear the backstory was incredibly interesting. even in the beginning, I like how you highlighted the word “behavior”. It’s not the situations in our lives that are crazy-making, it’s the behavior. What you all went through is amazing on its own level. Then, to add someone to the mix, who quite honestly, is in no way grounded in reality is really, really heart-breaking. I am sure you all had the best of intentions and never imagined how destructive one person can be. You are correct, you never know what path another has walked or will continue to walk, but this person, who seems in such pain, must stop displacing it on everyone else.

    • thank you Kim for your insights and kind words. being able to get the full ‘backstory’ out in one place helps to clarify many misunderstandings and mysteries, particularly when we have to fend off other attackers just because we have OUR SIDE to tell. It is difficult to know what to say about a family’s story. We all have them! What we, the birth family, has had to endure with JW, just can not be made up…it’s too multi-layered for us to make it up! And for every detail we speak about just destroys more of JW’s lies and fabrications.

      I do believe that It’s always about behavior and taking responsibility and consequences. JW never has! Sure, she MAY have gotten a raw deal…but her hate/anger has been totally misplaced! She will never get the help she needs because she is totally convinced that she is right and the rest of the world is wrong and must pay! But in many corners of the world, her reputation is shot, it is only she and few other angry adoptees that don’t get it, so we shall continue speaking our story

  2. Every time you blog, I read every single word. This post is particularly helpful to me because it pulls together many things you have written about separately into one dialog. I am equally sickened today reading about these lies and manipulations as I was months ago when I first stumbled upon your blog and your sister’s blog.

    I have 3 “full” sisters, 2 half-sisters, 2 step-sisters, 2 step-brothers, and there are whisperings in my small hometown that I also have 2 secret half-brothers. No where along the years has anyone blamed anyone for the breakup of family or the individual failures or dysfunctions of any of these siblings…until recently. The mother and sister of one of the secret half-brothers are harassing my father and demanding that he take a DNA test to prove paternity. The “baby” is 47 and was raised by a man he called dad because the mother said he was the dad, not my father. But because my dad isn’t a bum and takes care of his children, now the mother wants the truth to be known. My dad is 82!!! That woman, my half-brother’s mother knew the truth 47 years ago!!! I am angry and pissed and so are my other sisters. These grown women are guilting my father into including a grown man whom my father never had a chance to parent because of HER lies in to my father’s will! My sisters and I are encouraging him to take the test and to write him out of the will. My father wasn’t perfect but he has dedicated his recent years to his children and grandchildren. These other people want a handout and think it’s owed to them. I think the truth was owed to him and our brother 47 years ago. Why is this fair? It isn’t to me.

    So, I have great understanding of why you and your sisters are determined to shut down JW and her lies and slander-based book and blogs. You know what I think she is; no need for me to repeat it here. 🙂

    • thank you Paula, for reading every word! That means that you really understand why we have been writing! I’m glad that this post has been able to bring clarity to your understanding and I’m sure it will help others. It truly is sickening that one person, JW, can cause so much havoc in so many lives.

      Your story here is terrible! you said…These grown women are guilting my father into including a grown man whom my father never had a chance to parent because of HER lies in to my father’s will!…
      This is black-mail, just so they can get in your father’s will! That is the only reason…$$$. Your father doesn’t have to do anything, he doesn’t have to include anyone in his will he doesn’t want and any threats seems to be actions ‘below the belt’. Of course to clarify things, the test would make sense, but at his age! Also, a test would prevent any further problems. If I’m understanding your story here.

      • Yes, you understand it perfectly. Certainly, we would love to know if he is our brother. The speculations could be put to rest and the rumors would end, to a degree. It is all about $$$ and it is sick. If they cared about anyone’s emotional state, they would have pursued the truth YEARS ago! My dad has actually helped this man find work and even offered him work over the years. It’s not as if my father would EVER deny what could be true. I just don’t think their tactics are purely for the sake of knowing. It is $$$ driven. And it’s hateful and it hurts. They even cornered my mother, my mother who hasn’t been married to my father since 1994, at a recent reunion event!! She had the sense to walk away and not engage them. My mother is 68 years old! She doesn’t need this crap, either. 🙂

  3. Of course you would want to know if he is a sibling or not, but the way this is all coming about just reeks of soap-opera like dramas that seem to be so much a part of today’s world. Many are not interested in truth, they really do like to keep things ‘unwraps’ so they have something on the other.

    So you feel that finding out the truth, via the test, is the thing to do, for truth sake. That’s probably the thing to do then, but certainly the ‘question of issue’ should have been asked and answered years ago. Good for your mother! That’s just want I would have done!

    Good luck on this!

Trackbacks & Pingbacks

  1. how adoption has touched our lives « Refuting a Book of Lies: Forbidden Family –
  2. Gert’s story how our family has been touched by adoption « The Three Sippel Sisters – Genevieve's Daughters

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