abuser, adoption, adoption reunions, being downright nasty, birth/adoptive families, browbeating people over adoption, browbeating to get your own way, bullying, Forbidden Family a book of lies, how not to be a social-worker, interfering with parental authority, libelous book, mental illness, sins of omission and suppress of one's own misdeeds, trying to shut out your accusers, whining, worthlessness, wrong with your sisters
More attacks upon birthsiblings by Joan Wheeler on Huffington Post January 2013
I saw where Joan had posted, so I went to take a look…YES…I look for her everywhere, because she is a liar, maligning my family, trying to get yet another libelous book published and she needs to be kept honest. Seeing that she is an adoption ‘activist’ the people that she is talking to really do need to know of Joan’s previous behaviors and so I posted a comment.
SEE END OF THIS POST FOR UPDATED INFORMATION
I did not/have not posted anything on any site of Joan’s. I posted on a public forum where MY opinion is welcomed just like anyone else; just because Joan Wheeler doesn’t want me there, I have a RIGHT to express my opinions on a public forum. In the following Joan Wheeler is using the screen name of Forbidden Family
The formatting in this post is not up to my usual standards because frankly I’m tired. I’m tired of having a mentally unstable person continue to con and dupe people, on public forums, never telling them the truth and when the birth family appears, Joan attacks, and because she attacked I make it public…on my blog…
Forbiddenfamily is Joan M Wheeler
Forbiddenfamily said…09:11 PM on 01/13/2013
Part 1: Every adoptee has two sets of real parents. Both sets are real, both exist. Each one plays a different role. For the non-adopted person, their parents who raised them are the ones who gave them life. For the adopted individual, parentage is split. The adoptee lives in two different worlds.I’ve been told: “The real parents are the ones who raise the child!” And I’ve been asked: “Did you find your real parents?”
Gert McQueen said
forbiddenfamily joan wheeler interfered in the adoption process of my adopting my own child.. she had no business getting involved, she hates adoption period. I’m a birthsibling and I know the damage that this person has done to my family she should have let sleeping dogs lie and not open the pandora’s box see….http://germcqueen.wordpress.com
Gert said…Jan 13, 2013 at 22:09:51 in Parents
“from the birth family’s side of this issue…see the following post (copy & paste to your browser) https://gertmcqueen.wordpress.com
Why did Joan’s reunion go bad? Was it because of Joan or was it because of those nasty birth sisters? Or was it doomed from the start? part one by gertmcqueen on April 6, 2012”
IN RESPONSE TO THIS…Joan wrote something that was later removed…I saw a bit of it before it was removed where she said ‘my reunion went bad because….
This comment has been removed due to violations of our [Guidelines]
Then AFTER Ruth’s complaint to Huffington, the following, by Joan, was removed and I believe something I wrote, but I do not have it.
Forbidden Family said
gertmcqueen is only on this discussion to bring up family business that has no bearing on the main article and discussion on “what are real parents?” Gert insists on barging in where she is not wanted. This person is dangerous. She harasses other adoptees on twitter, and other forums, and is obviously here to do hte same to me.
Then forbiddenfamily comes back with…
gertmcqueen’s only purpose here is to slam me, forbiddenfamily. I have contacted Huffington Post about this abusive user who follows me everywhere online. Gert is my eldest sister who has been told to leave me alone many decades ago. I want no contact with her, yet she badgers me, harasses me, as does our other sister.
I am not in their lives. When does an adoptee have a right to be left alone? Haven’t these women caused enough havoc in my life? I am the adoptee who was stalked all during my childhood by gertmcqueen. She found me and destroyed my life. Please, if you are searching for your missing blood kin, do it with respect and maturity and consideration for the adoptee’s family. My adoptive family life was destroyed by meddling relatives. My job here is to be an adoption activist. Cyberstalking laws do not protect me.
Gert said….Jan 14, 2013 at 07:14:26 in Parents
“Wrong I never knew her til she was 18 have had 4 contacts with Joan in 30 years, after she interfered with my adoption of my son, then she came back with a libelous book, got it pulled… just making sure Joan stays honest. I just wrote my story, on my blog, about the details of joan’s adoption and the problems she caused the birth family.”
Joan said :
This user’s only purpose for being here is to harass me. She never wanted me to study adoption, ganging up on me all of my adult life, telling me not to live in the past by reading and writing about adoption. Make this very clear: this online harassment is being investigated. I find it interesteing that she only shows up in discussion in which I post in. Moderators???
Gert McQueen said
yes I have a part in this discussion, what are real parents? someone who wants you and loves you, that is what forbiddenfamily (JW) didn’t like when I adopted my own son w/2nd husband.
Forbiddenfamily said 10:15 AM on 01/14/2013
Yes, and sometimes an adoptee is found by natural family. I was when I was 18. My adoptive parents never wanted me to know the truth, so being found was a shock to me. I was the only one in my adoptive family and my natural family to read any books on adoption (at that time, the only books available were The Adoption Triangle, by Annette Baran, Reuben Pannor, and Arthur Sorosky in 1978, and Lost and Found by Betty Jean Lifton, 1979. I was ridiculed by both families as I struggled to understand what adoption did to me, my natural family, and my adoptive family. These books are vitally important, even 30 years later. And yes, there is extended family that can either be loving or hateful to the adoptee, and though many relatives have died, I still have family who love me and I love them — both natural family and adoptive family. Therer are also cousins’ children and my children – reunion is not only between adoptee and natural parents. And when relationships break down, part ways and leave each other alone. I am still being hunted down, as readers can see.
To which I said
Gert: I’m still waiting for an answer to why you felt that it was your right to interfere with my decision to adopt and involve yourself with my minor children & write lies about everything. I know what I needed to know about adoption, then & now, it is you that refuses to let people ADOPT. I have had 4 contacts with you in 30 years. It was you who wrote a lying book. I only saw this discussion last night! hardly harassment! I am voicing my opinion about real parents…I gave birth and I adopted, my opinions on this subject is just like anyone else..is it because I oppose your opinion, like I did in 1980?
“I will not answer to you. You are not welcome in my life, you know that you were told decades ago to leave me alone. Go away. You distort the truth. My book is not full of lies and will be published. Sue me if you feel You have grounds. you don’t. get out of my life.”
just like you, ran from your own actions, you KNOW why you interfered with my minor children and adoption, only COWARDS refuse to answer direct questions about their behavior. Think no one sees what you are saying! I did leave you alone, it was YOU who came back into our lives with lies.you did write a libelous book, called Forbidden Family, it NOT LONGER is available because of it’s contents, public opinion is where you are being judged, right here in the open,
“I will not respond to a woman who has been told over thirty years ago that I do not want you in my life at all. Yet, you keep badgering me, which is harassment. You follow me all over the internet. I do not seek you out. I do not live in the past. You have caused many problems in my life. Leave me alone. I have in any book I’ve written, nor in any article I’ve written. If you believe I have, sue me. You have no grounds. Your complaints were baseless; POD publisher a scam. Stay ouot of my life and stop stalking me.”
yet you have replied to me twice! after your interference with my adoption process and my children in 82, I did not see you until 92, for one pm, you told me to loved me, but spread lies, in 98 YOU wrote me a letter to contact you, when I did you yelled at me, I did phone you somewhere in 2003,4, or so cause I wanted to end this, you told me AGAIN you loved me, KNOWING that you were lying, for YOU published a libelous book in 09.Don’t go blaming the publisher, Trafford, I spent 4 months, giving them documentation, it’s all on record and on our blogs, where your own words are proven false. Why don’t YOU take me to court if I’m maligning you
IN THE MEANWHILE…Ruth was waiting for a comment or two of hers to get up…
Don’t know if this did or not…or if it was Ruth’s complaint to Huffington…
geez, I don’t know what’s more dangerous – utilizing social media sites to promote one’s political-socio views or calling someone’s job to lob false accusations as someone did to me two months ago – Joan Wheeler is starting her lying false accusations again – calling my job to make trouble January 6, 2013 – http://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/2013/01/06/joan-
Apparently, family matters were brought up FIRST by JW – I do wish adoption matters, birth certificate matters, sets of 2 parents, etc. were discussed withOUT slamming people. We went this round on Huffington in March 2011, the results were JW was kicked off Huffington from her old account – Half Orphan 56 – and we see she is back again to slam people. Dangerous? I believe people out there can see who is dangerous, as JW’s other comment was removed. If this comment is not approved by moderators, I understand, but I want them to be aware of WHO the dangerous person is – and it isn’t me, or Gert McQueen. thank you for your time.
Forbidden Family, aka Joan Wheeler, aka JW, aka HalfOrphan56 has been kicked off Huffington in March 2011 for abuses to her birth siblings. She continues to harass us online and real life by writing a letter to my job, Nov. 2012 to get me fired. Because she hates the fact that she was adopted and I was not.
This comment by Ruth’s did make it on.
yes, I do wish people would leave me alone as Forbidden Family suggests – but having false accussations lobbed at my employer saying that I am commiting computer fraud is hardly leaving me alone. She did it in 1995, and again in Nov. 2012. and I’m still working there. Also a twitter account was hacked and sent spam to Forbidden Family – she right away accused me. I wrote to the account holder and told her, no, I did not do that. (two weeks ago) Another direct message spam, phising for my password was sent to me from the lady’s account. And to Forbidden Family. right away, For. Fam accused me publicly of hacking into twitter accounts. this is libel and slander. In a private email exchange via her gmail account, I communicated with the account holder who assured me that she was taking care of the problem. don’t just blanketly assume and accuse people of doing things because you hate them over YOUR adoption. Forbidden family needs to leave me alone. NO one is hunting her – her book Forbidden family was pulled from publication because of libel. I sent actual court documents to the publisher that proved that. My blog is about taking FF’s lies and setting them straight. She is the one who is hunting me by calling my job. – disgraceful
End of the discussion to date…
Yes it is disgraceful that this loony toon Joan Wheeler can cause so much destruction. Well, she keeps talking, we keep blogging.
oh I love the line from Joan where she says: “Your complaints were baseless; POD publisher a scam. ” – No, the complaint I sent Trafford Publishers contained ACTUAL CITY COURT DOCUMENTS that proved that what Joan said in the book was libelous, incorrect and a LIE!
Joan can continue to believe that her book contained the truth – that is her right. But it shows EVERYONE what a mentally ill person she is. On page 330 of her book she says “Mom and I were granted an order of protection against (Ruth) in the summer of 1994. It was good for one years.” WRONG! – 1. She relates in the book this order of protection was from a false child abuse call against her. 2. The child abuse call was actually made in Dec.1994 – so how could we have gone to court in the summer of 1994 over a call that wasn’t made yet. 3. On my blog I have posted the actual order of protection that was granted to Joan – dated on August 9, 1993. It was in effect until February 9, 1994. That’s SIX MONTHS – not one year. 4. On Dec. 31, 1994, Joan wrote to Albany, NY complaining to the State Board of Child Abuse about me – and stating that the child abuse call WAS made in 1994. She also lied to them saying that when we were in court in 1993, I was sentanced to probation. 5. on my blog I have posted that letter
So I have provided on my blog – UNDISPUTABLE evidences – City of Buffalo court documents and a letter written by Joan Wheeler herself – that dispute what she wrote in the book.
Joan further says in her book that I was arrested – WRONG – that is a lie. I have never been arrested in my life. I do not have a criminal record. I never made a child abuse call about Joan. And I sent those documents to Trafford Publishers and they agreed that when Joan wrote that bullshit in her book – SHE VIOLATED THE CONTRACT SHE SIGNED WITH THEM. WHERE IT SAYS THAT LIBEL WILL BE COMMITTED. Also the guidelines for authors furnished by Trafford – and it’s right there on their website – says: “If you write that a person has a criminal record and they do not, you can be sued for libel.”
Why don’t we hire a lawyer and sue Joan? Why should we? And what would we get out of it? She has nothing in monetary value. And we would have to pay a lawyer. And if we got to court, who would know about it? Just the people in that courtroom.
NO, this way, by having our blogs, we are having our “trial” out in the open – on the world-wide internet – where Joan can’t lie about it. Well, of course she’s STILL lying about it – but people are seeing her lies – and seeing our documented proof.
Joan keeps accusing us of doing this or that – but stop and ask yourselves – does she ever back up her statements with undisputable PROOF? NO, she never does. Because it is not OUR complaints that are baseless – but JOAN’S.
WE have provided the undeniable proof to back up OUR statements.
Joan is mentally ill. A delusional idiot. For anyone to say an order of protection was for one year and was issued in the summer of 1994 – when the ACTUAL COURT DOCUMENT has the dates of August 9, 1993 to February 9, 1994 – that person is in definite need to be locked up in the psych ward.
Gert here…well it does appear as if Joan READS THE BLOG, cause she complained AFTER this post appeared and my first two comments, where I include my blog address are gone. That’s very interesting because I had READ the guidelines and I read them to say that it was OK to publish a link and I’ve seen others…but…given that we are talking about Joan Wheeler here AND that we published all of this on the blog…
hey, so what! many people came yesterday and today to my blog and MY NAME is not that difficult to search for, as the search terms indicate…either way…Joan Wheeler has NOT stopped or silence me.
UPDATE MAY 2016; as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ another ‘revised’ version. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor!