abuser, adoption, adoption reform, birth/adoptive families, blaming people for your own mess, browbeating people over adoption, browbeating to get your own way, change your life, confrontations with Joan Wheeler, cyberbullying, family honor, Forbidden Family a book of lies, how not to be a social-worker, intimidation, self pity, sins of omission and suppress of one's own misdeeds, whining
Joan Wheeler believes that her adoption is the example of what is wrong with the adoption system in America.
And she will make sure that everyone KNOWS IT!
Joan Wheeler posts, on a blog, that discusses leaving legacies to care for one’s minor children. The blog article was about the importance of getting a will and making provisions for one’s children. The article states… It takes time and energy to get your important records in order. Some of the most important—yet most difficult—steps are those regarding care for your minor children. The paperwork isn’t difficult, but the decisions may be hard.
The blog article was NOT about adoption, but Joan makes it about adoption. It gives her another opportunity to rant and rave and be angry over her adoption! And as always Joan’s comment is filled with lies and fabrications.
It can be found on the following sites. I will have more comments after we see Joan’s words….
Who will care for my children if something happens to me?
Posted by Melanie Cullen on March 10, 2009 at 10:30am
Comment by Joan M. Wheeler on August 25, 2009 at 11:10am
Interesting… Why didn’t anyone suggest giving the youngest child up for adoption while the survivng spouse keeps the older kids who are still underage? Shocked I brought up the topic? Don’t be. Two people suggested just that very idea to my grieving father at the funeral of his young wife. They had 5 kids, and no one had any good suggestions to say, as you point out in this article.
The Catholic Priest said, “The baby needs two parents.” A woman approached my father and said, “I know a couple who will be happy to take your newborn.” Sounds horrific. And it is. I was relinquished to adoption because no one offered help to keep our family together.
This is adoption in America, folks.
Now that you think it is horrible to permanently split up a sibling group after those kids were half-orphaned, take a look at the expectations society places upon young single mothers who have just given birth. Unmarried mothers are routinely talked into giving away their babies to adoption. That’s called an unselfish act.
My father was not selfish when he relinquished me to adoption. He was distraught, grief-stricken, yet his children, no, just the baby, was up for grabs. Imagine how the older children felt to know a baby was born and never came home. Their mother died, baby gone, and they were expected to carry on with life. Meanwhile, baby grew up totally unaware that she had siblings.
Parents- keep your kids together after the sudden death of one of you. Legal guardianship is the only logical step if both parents die.
Joan’s comment begins with angry resentment over the fact that since she, Joan, was the youngest child placed in adoption, that that fact suggests that the article SHOULD have adoption AS a means of caring for minor children!
She is baiting and harassing here! She is bullying here! She is making a mockery of adoption and leaving a legacy. She intentionally wants to shock this writer and the readers. She intentionally suggests that adoption should be used, within a will, because she wants to shock these people! Joan sees her victim-hood everywhere and she wants everyone to know it!
She is angry and resentful that ONLY she was placed into adoption. She never has UNDERSTOOD the reasons why and she never will. She believes that there was SOMEONE that could have taken care of her, she doesn’t want to accept the fact that there was NO ONE. And yes, she was given away while the other 4 siblings were kept. Such is life! Maybe she ought to be expressing her rage AT the adoptive parents and NOT THE SYSTEM. It’s obvious that she must have been abused by adoptive parents.
Regardless, we, birth siblings, will continue to point it out to her and others, that she lies and fabricates. She also is dishonoring her, and my, birth parents! Joan is a very dishonorable person!
Joan uses the word horrific as she lies and fabricates the story of her adoption. To Joan, her life is horrific and she wants to tell the entire world! Seems to me, that Joan does not want to discuss anything related to adoption, no, all Joan wants to do is browbeat everyone into seeing her horrific life.
Truth is Joan’s life is horrific because she CAN’T accept her life as it was given to her. She is nothing but an angry hateful person and will let everyone know it! And no wonder she is getting NOWHERE….who will listen to a raving nut case, who sees the adoption monster everywhere, even when it is NOT plainly labeled!
Adoption is NOT an evil. Yes, there is room for improvements within the adoption system, but, having an angry adoptee browbeat and bully people and make EVERYTHING be about HER is not the way to go about change. Angry adoptee, change yourself!