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Putting light on the bullying tactics & antics of Joan Wheeler #forbiddenfamily and company

by on May 13, 2013

I’m trying to be polite by calling it ‘antics’ when we all know it’s far worst. I learned a long time ago that the best way to handle bullies is to put as much light on them and their deeds as possible. So with that in mind, in this post, I’m adding the complete comments from a Huffington Post thread. I first mentioned these comments in this post…

if the link does not work copy and paste the above title and date of post

BUT BEFORE WE CONTINUE HERE’S AN UPDATE, FEBRUARY 2016, as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ another ‘revised’ version. In this ‘version’ called ‘duped by adoption’ she has increased her exploitation by including PICTURES and REAL NAMES and much more personal information violating again the families. Joan has no decency NOR shame. There is NOTHING in this book for adoption reform. She is totally against adoption and her two families. To learn more see…


In that post I pointed out a few examples of how angry adoptees attempt to silence us birthsiblings as well as an example of how to stand up to them. In this post I will give the direct comments. I feel this is important because, when these comments are shown EVERYONE gets a good look at what tactics these types of people are doing. I keep asking myself …what do they expect to GAIN from browbeating, insulting and condemning others? It’s got to be an internet thing cause in real life, in real time, NO ONE, would get away with the way this ‘gang’ of angry adoptees operate.

If you watch, and closely read, you will see how the angry adoptees try to shut me and Ruth down. They show their desperation but more importantly, if you read to the end, you’ll see that I have the ‘right’ that their arguments can not stop. I also have the last word AND another person, who has had contact with Joan, speaks up! This is how you deal with bullies, by exposing each and every dirty deeds and word!

It is interesting to note…here…that Ruth and I feel that Huffington Post has become fully aware of the antics/tactics of Joan Wheeler and company and are giving us ‘airtime’ since Joan BRAGGED about harassing Ruth’s job. (court date still upcoming) It is also interesting to note that MOST of those attacking are ‘named’ adoption reform people.. I vote that they should be placed on a ‘watch list’!

The article is titled: Equal Rights for All: It’s Finally Time for Adopted People, Too

My account on Huffington Post is under the screen name of ‘honorsake’, for Joan was able to get ‘gertmcqueen’ kicked off. But once I made an appearance she knew it was me and once a comment of mine, against her, was posted, I got attacked. In the comments that follow…mine are labeled COMMENTED  It all started with these first two comments I left on forbiddenfamily’s ranting

Commented Apr 3, 2013 at 09:14:30 in Politics “self-martrydom is a form of promoting one’s own self in a pompous manner like a peacock…a vain person given to self-display if doing this for 39 years hasn’t brought progress, from the law-makers perhaps there are real reasons for that”

Commented Apr 3, 2013 at 09:17:49 in Politics “watching this self-torture is getting old.projecting one’s own pain and suffering onto others and/or a system doesn’t change a thing…change your mind, change your world”

AND THEY ARE OFF and running to get me…

Laurel JenkinsCrowe on Apr 5, 2013 at 13:44:31 “honorsake, I don’t know what point you think you’re making over and over again, but it isn’t coming through. If you don’t want to read about adoptees wanting the same rights everyone else has, why not read something else? As it is, you come off as having a semi-coherent, personal beef against forbiddenfamily.  Was it self-torture or self-martyrdom when any other group wanted equal rights? When women wanted the vote? When African Americans wanted not to be slaves? Or is it only an ugly, distressing, bleeding peacock display when adoptees want our rights?Maybe the slaves should have *thought* themselves free, huh? If they had only changed their minds…about….something, I guess….?  Change the world, change their minds.”

Priscilla Sharp on Apr 7, 2013 at 08:11:11 “Slaves fought for hundreds of years to free themselves and then for another hundred years for basic civil rights and fair treatment. By your reasoning, they should have given up after twenty or thirty years and changed their minds? What is the time limit for fiighting any injustice? For the disenfranchised to seek equal rights?”

Lori Jeske on Apr 5, 2013 at 15:35:33 “Right on…I’m am one proud strutt’n BN peacock and these gorgeous feathers with strut for a long, long time. Hang on to your binkie honor, it sounds like your gonna need it. . .”

Commented Apr 5, 2013 at 18:34:39 in Politics “is there a problem with another expressing their opinion here? or what another reads or doesn’t read? I’ve seen forbiddenfamily tell her tortured life on the internet for years, no ‘beef’, just calling it as I see it! obviously the concept of personal mind over personal worldview is over your head!”

Laurel JenkinsCrowe on Apr 7, 2013 at 05:17:27 “No problem at all. and I’m sure anyone reading can tell exactly who’s in over his/her head here.”

Gaye Tannenbaum on Apr 7, 2013 at 17:55:51 “We know who you are and we know that this is personal. Anyone reading your comments notes that you are attacking one person and only one person despite similar things being written by others.”

Gaye Tannenbaum 08:29 AM on 04/08/2013 honorsake has a well-known personal vendetta against the author of Forbidden Family. It has nothing to do with adoptee rights.

Gaye Tannenbaum on Apr 7, 2013 at 17:59:10 “When has “acceptance” of the status quo ever won anybody their rights?”

Priscilla Sharp on Apr 7, 2013 at 15:20:12 “Everyone comes at an issue from a different perspective and varying degrees of emotional charge. It does no good whatsoever to mock or attack anyone because their level of feeling or way they express it is different than yours. This type of “infighting” is exactly what has kept the movement from progressing. Much better if you had just said to forbiddenfamily, “Amen, sister! I feel your frustration and anguish and I am here to support you.””

Commented Apr 7, 2013 at 09:52:12 in Politics “why should it matter what my ‘reasoning’ is? is it because I oppose one person’s gnashing of teeth and pulling of hair because she can’t get people to see her reasoning? come on already! don’t you have better things to do, then try to convince me that I’m wrong? obviously you don’t understand what is meant by ‘change your mind, change you life’, it means ‘acceptance’ on a personal level! presenting a case via emotions doesn’t win many suppporters nor change the minds of people, lobbyists don’t listen to the emotions! they listen to clear reasonable FACTS. I happen to agree with your cause, to have original birthcertificates! it’s the tactics of a handful of angry people, like forbiddenfamily, who can’t see their own self-torture is getting in the way of them and you from being heard!”

Commented Apr 7, 2013 at 18:50:07 in Politics “I wonder if Mr Adam Pertman, writer of this article, would appreciate or approve of the contents of the book ‘forbiddenfamily’ and behavior of the person, as a right and proper way to get your agenda, for birthcertificates, out in the public or in changing the laws. Does ‘he’ like being represented/associated with that book, forbiddenfamily, as he and his organization is presented? does he even know that he  is…represented/associated with/in the book? how can this book/person help your cause? as an adoptive mother I’m appalled at the constant attacking to, those of us who adopt, because we believe it is right for us to do, by a few that do not like any form of adoption!”

karenwb on Apr 7, 2013 at 21:48:57 “There are MANY more than a few of us who do not like infant adoption in this country or elsewhere!! Infant adoptions are inherently coercive and should not be done. There are humane alternatives that do not “gift” a baby to people who WANT a baby. The natural parents have a RIGHT to raise their own children regardless of their income, marital status or age.”

Commented Apr 8, 2013 at 07:07:36 in Politics “I am the natural mother, and according to you I have the RIGHT to my own children! I adopted my own child with 2nd husband; natural father didn’t want responsibility. Because I would not stop my process of adoption, I was called an unfit mother in front of my minor children in my own home. Behind my back my children were told not to listen  to me because I didn’t know what was right for them. There were 2 false child abuse reports placed upon me. These were not babies! They had to give their own permission to be adopted! The person  who violated my parental rights and alienated my own children from me and called in child abuse, was an adoptee, forbiddenfamily, who has done more than this to me and my family. What was gained? What was lost?  I’m sure Mr Pertman would not approve of this type of behavior, interloping into families, by adoptees who want THEIR birthcertificates. Lobby your cause, state your facts, but leave people alone to make their own life decisions for themselves and THEIR children.”

Gaye Tannenbaum on Apr 8, 2013 at 14:03:55 “Like I said. Personal vendetta.”

Commented Apr 8, 2013 at 19:42:15 in Politics “seems to me that people have it backwards; I do not have a personal vendetta against anyone, I have an HONOR-bound right to defend myself & family from vile slander. the author of the book wrote it for vengenge sake, of over 642 pages there are only about 80 pages related to adoptee rights, the rest is vengenge. quote from by/and in book, forbiddenfamily, pg452 “Yes (J) earned a place in this book right along with the other examples of prejudice against adoptees – against me- to be remembered for all the wrong reasons”  regardless of what anyone THINKS my purpose is, NO ONE had the right to violated MY SACRED PARENTAL RIGHTS as forbiddenfamily did and does. And again, I ask Mr Pertman…is this behavior what adoptees should be doing to get THEIR BIRTHCERTIFICATES?”

Commented Apr 8, 2013 at 14:39:02 in Politics “facts remain, the past was over until she reopened it with more despicable deeds and lies when she decided to ‘get even’ with everyone with a lieblous book…I state again…does Mr Pertman or any other person approve of using dirty deeds/lies as a means to get birth certificates? Protecting my children/family is NOT an vendetta…its my rightful duty!”

marleygreiner on Apr 9, 2013 at 10:31:16 “Excuse me. I don’t see anything in your narrative to indicate that the writer, whom ;you’ve flogged around the internet for years, did anything “illegal” in getting anybody’s birth certificate. Vendetta is right.”

Commented Apr 9, 2013 at 21:41:05 in Politics “Marley…what part of libelous words and dirty deeds do you NOT UNDERSTAND? are you thick or just simple? stop trying to confuse the issue with your slight of hand! You know perfectly well what I mean! The person, who calls herself forbiddenfamily, USES dirty deeds and lies. That behavior IS WHAT I’M DRAWING ATTENTION TO. In other words…if a person has to lie and interfere in other peoples’ lives to get THEM (other people) NOT TO ADOPT, so they don’t have a false birthcertificate…that is just plain NOT RIGHT BEHAVIOR. I never said it (the behavior) was ‘illegal’…you did! I asked if doing dirty deeds and lying, as behavior, to get YOUR AND OTHER ADOPTEES’S BIRTHCERTIFICATES, was proper behavior, then that behavior is just NOT RIGHT and others should not BE subjected to that behavior. That is what forbiddenfamily DOES…she browbeats pro-adoption people because they want to ADOPT. That behavior is plain wrong. Does Mr Pertman approve? That is the question I asked HIM, NOT YOU. Furthermore, it was NOT ME who wrote a libelous book, it was HER; that’s the VENDETTA, BY HER….TO EVERYONE IN HER LIFE and by doing that she opened herself up to FULL DISCLOSURE. If she didn’t want ‘flogging’ then she should NOT have written a libelous book! Stupid don’t you think? If that BOOK was still in print and available it would be ME AND FAMILY that would be flogged by HER. I did what anyone else would have done if THEY WERE THE SUBJECT OF SLANDER. She”

Ruth Herr Sippel Pace on Apr 8, 2013 at 21:45:59 “to clarify – she contacted my job and falsely accused me of computer fraud – because I dared to go on AmazonUK and rebut a book review of the book – a book that was pulled from publication because actual court documents were sent to the publisher that proved that what was written in the book was slanderous – lies – despite her telling the publisher her book was truthful. actual court documents and police records/documents do not lie. she contacted my job solely to get me in trouble – but it backfire – they can trace every keystroke I do and they investigated me and found me innocent. Just like in 1995 when she pulled the same harassment. THIS is the kind of spokesperson you guys want? go for it. Because she is dragging you down, but you are too blind to see it.”

Ruth Herr Sippel Pace on Apr 8, 2013 at 21:38:32 “as in infertile woman who was PERSONALLY attacked and slandered by Forbidden Family in her book and in person (and who has a court date next Wednesday for JW to answer why she contacted my job in Nov. 2012 and admitted to it here on Huff in Jan. 2013) I have to question WHY those who say they want TRUTH revealed and CIVIL RIGHTS for adoptees, but trample on civil rights of others.  Sometimes personal behavior of a crusader of a cause gets in the way of their ability to advance the cause. When lies are told even about one of their own (Joe Soll, who said to me in an email that what Forbidden Family – JW wrote about him in the book was ‘patently false’) – the person who is committing the lies should be told to clean up their act.”

marleygreiner 11:06 PM on 04/09/2013 I don’t know if anyone is supporting her; just pointing out that this vendtta has nothing to do with the issue at hand. Your problem with your sister has nothing to do with OBC access. This is betting boring.

Commented Apr 10, 2013 at 00:06:49 in Politics “if its boring, why are you commenting? stop being forbiddenfamily’s lawyer…she did wrong, period! She slandered us and family period. get over it already, forbiddenfamily tried to STOP ME FROM ADOPTING so that there would be NO amended BC for MY CHILD that’s the issue, Marley, get your facts! and not from her!”

Commented Apr 10, 2013 at 07:28:19 in Politics “In the past couple of days six different adoptees try to discredit my statements, On Marley’s own web site for Bastard Nation, forbiddenfamily posted in 2009 “The Pentagon is reading my website!while my dysfunctional sisters still are causing me trouble to the point I must go to the police to stop their interference.”  DYSFUNCTIONAL SISTERS! truth, an aunt died, R made a phone call to inform her of it. JW made ONE PHONE CALL to her local police station. R got a message from the police saying that R, G, K were to stay away from her. How did one person become three? Fact. we didn’t KNOW that the book, against us all, was just about to be PUBLISHED! I called that same police station and they told me…don’t worry about it, we all know about HER, she calls all the time! forbiddenfamily not only did it to me but to our step-mother when she ADOPTED HER CHILD with her 2nd husband! I sure hope that all you adoptees that are fighting for your birth records and OBC are fighting for MY CHILD AND MY STEPSISTER WHO ARE ADOPTEES and need to have their Original Birthcertificates! I hope Mr Pertman addresses these issues at the upcoming conference”

THEN A MONTH LATER WE HAVE…. a response to my comment of Apr 8, 2013 at 19:42:15

anewbeginning on May 10, 2013 at 07:38:23 “I’m with you honorsake. Your sister needs some therapy. I’ve been attacked by her as well. But then read some of the comments that you get from those in the adoption reform movement. They are all here led by their cult leader. The most obnoxious man, who steps all over people who oppose him by not allowing them to speak. Power has gone to his head..Adoption is about three parties all three parties should have a say. It starts with the birthparent. Hang in there.”

Commented May 10, 2013 at 20:07:16 in Politics “to ‘anewbeginning’ unfortunately my sister (I had nothing to do with the gods of genetics) does need therapy but those that ‘treat’ her seem to believe she suffers from sort of adoption trauma… what the hell is that? I’ve had life trauma’s and I just get on with it! Anyway, too bad that you have had the unfortunate situation of having dealt with her…so many have. I don’t know anything about ‘cult leader’ in the adoption reform movement, don’t care anything about adoption reform, ONLY care about the lies, deeds and slander that has been done to me and my family. My father had no option BUT to place my sis into adoption, that is no reason for his daughter, my sis to condemn him. I adopted my own son w/2nd husband, that’s my business not my sis’s who condemned me and violated my rights. I thank you very much for speaking up and out. I hope that others that have been browbeated by anger adoptees that hate adoption would speak out against their treatments to people who BELIEVE in adoption. Thanks again”

AND we shall continue on exposing the words and deeds of bullies.


One Comment
  1. it is interesting to point out in all of this – adoptees say they want the TRUTH. But when faced with a TRUTH, they can’t handle it.
    Adoptees will find a pro-adoption person or agency online, and attack them en masse. They swear at pro-adoptees, wish bodily harm on them – what they said about actress Edie Falco in the past was disgusting.
    BUT let a pro-adoptee or someone who thinks differently from an adoptee speak up – the adoptees rush to shut them up. In February 2010, at Joan Wheeler’s request, my blog was hit by 180 adoptees – and sevral obscene comments were left by these so-called “intelligent” adoptees.
    Even today, May 13, 2013, one twitter person simply could not resist the temptation to swear at Gert and me. If she didn’t want to be twittered to, that’s ok. That’s all she had to say. But nope. She had to right away resort to using profanity.
    I’ve been known to use profanity myself. But not on the first time communicating with someone.
    And to address the twitter incident further – as I said above, adoptees feel as though they can communicate en masse to people and agencies en masse to further their “cause” – but just can’t seem to handle being communicated to by someone else furthering their cause.
    I’ve pointed out before – adoptees want things THEIR way – and to hell with anyone else!
    They forget that other people have rights to speak out on what they believe to be an injustice.

    Adoptees – you want to speak out against being adopted? That’s cool. WE want to speak out against being slandered and libeled! And by god we shall.

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