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Birth siblings of Joan Wheeler HAVE left their mark on the adoption reform movement!

by on September 8, 2013

Search terms and referrals that appear on our blogs’ stat pages are always interesting. A recent referral, came from an on-line adoption forum, where Joan, in one of her aliases, was once quite vocal. After I checked it out and informed Ruth she said to me

‘good to see that we are now a site for “reference”’.

Yep! We have accomplished what we set out to do…set the record straight, refute the lies that Joan Wheeler spoke/wrote about us and family AND reclaimed the truth away from Joan’s ‘personal’ one-sided truth (?).

It matters NOT if anyone truly UNDERSTANDS the entire story; for sure it’s complicated and messy like lots of families. What DOES matter is that Joan Wheeler’s version is riddled with lies, misrepresentations, slander, libel, malicious intents and her own mental illnesses. And, she is NOW known far and wide as totally untruthful and ineffectual; she’s a has-been, if she ever was anything!

What follows are 2 comments, each generated their own html…but if you chose you can follow by hitting the page sequences on the forum.

on 9/1/2013 Priscilla151 said…

This family of birth siblings are dealing with the consequences of an unhappy adoptee an active member in the adoption reform movement.

Gert here…That is a link to a reblogging of my post:

As a member of the real ‘forbidden family’ I answer 10 interview questions related to my article ‘how adoption affected my family’ on June 25, 2013

Then the next day another comment at

on 9/1/2013 a susankate  said…

Actually, these birthsiblings were the ones who made original contact with the adoptee in the first place – them not her. This whole story is one great tragedy – the poor mom died from cancer not long after birth – I am sure she would be horrified with the feud that is going on.

Gert here again…As I said, our story is complicated, so there really isn’t any way to get it all out in a concise manner so that MILLIONS of readers understand it all. There is NO feud; that’s what most people would call the ‘two-sided’ story, hers and ours. If there is any feud at all it’s from and on Joan’s side because she NEVER dreamed that we, the birthsiblings/family, would have any ability to prevent her from speaking/writing. That’s what delusions will do to a person! And because we DARED to confront her, Joan spoke ill about us to all she encountered, for years.

If there is ONE thing I’ve learned in life it is this…if you have NOT heard MY STORY you haven’t a clue about what has been said about me by ANOTHER. Everyone, including me, has our own ‘take’ on any situation. The ‘proof is in the pudding’; meaning if its pudding, its true!

What’s so interesting is that these comments are accessing and using MY STORY and the Ten Question Interview about the birth family’s side of the story, not Joan’s. That’s the power of STILL STANDING after the battle…the truth does win.

And we are NOT finished talking or writing! There are things in the hopper that over time will be available. Stay tuned.

Perhaps the “feud” would stop when Joan will stop harassing me like she did recently in calling my job with false accusations of computer fraud and telephone calls from my employer and then LYING about it in court – see my post Joan Wheeler perjures herself TWICE on the stand today, July 23, 2013

and then Ruth placed this comment on the thread itself

Read more:

I am the birthsibling to the angry adoptee who “thinks’ she is a great adoption  reformer. referred here by susankate.  I am sick and tired of having my  reputation dragged through the mud. It has been said online, in person, and in  her self-published book that I have a criminal record. I have never been  arrested in my life.
I have been harassed by this person for over 25 years.  We’ve been in court – and she still won’t stop. Just last November (2012) she  wrote an anonymous letter to my job, falsely accusing me of computer fraud. This  was done to get me fired. And she lied on the stand on July 16, 2013 and got  away with harassing me again.
Previous court documents were sent to the  publisher of her book and their legal department ruled that she slandered me in  her book and they pulled it from publication.
Joan Wheeler, my adopted out  sister is the angry adoptee who takes her anger out on mostly me, but also my  two other sisters and other members of the Herr family. She hounded and harassed  one while she was battling cancer – after the police told her to stop – and then  had the nerve to show up at her funeral ten years ago – and then in her book –  published in 2009 – she slandered that wonderful cousin of mine.
I am not  the only one she tried to get fired from their job with false accusations. She  did it to another cousin of mine. Because his aunt told him to stay away from  her. He had repaired Joan’s windshield, and after she found out that he was told  to stay away from her, she called his boss and said he did a poor job on the  windshield. But he had not. It was checked and it was fine.

and yes, I’m  sure my mother is turning in her grave to see how her youngest child has treated  her other children and other members of the entire family! Cousins, uncles,  aunts – all turn their backs on this angry adoptee-troublemaker.

Yes, we  found her when she was 18, and were reunited with her. But in a few short years,  we saw how this person, was an abuser, a liar, a thief. She was told to remove  herself from our lives. She refused and started harassing schemes, harassing  letters, false police reports, false child abuse reports.
The woman is  mentally ill and will not stop. The courts will do nothing. In July, despite her  public admission on the internet to being the one who sent the letter to my job,  and I submitted the printout to the court – the judge dismissed my charge of  harassment.

A “feud?” no – it is me trying to get rid of a harasser who  simply will not leave me and my family alone. After her book was pulled, she  enlisted a friend to also harass me. Threats of emotional blackmail from a man I  never met – he threatened online to expose my “dark dirty secret.” I told him  via my blog to go ahead and say what he had to say – lying gossip from Joan? – I  have no secret that I am afraid to be exposed. I will not be held to emotional  blackmail. If this man, who I never met, thinks he “knows” something about me –  the police and the court will find that interesting.

Again, this is no  feud – this is a real case of someone (me) being stalked and harassed and  slandered on the internet and in print by a mentally ill person.

thank  you for your time. And this bit of advice goes for anyone seeking a reunion – be  you an adoptee or a birthfamily member – hire a private investigator first. — I  wish you all the best.

[URL=””%5DRefuting a Book of Lies: Forbidden  Family — | – Exposing the lies in Joan M. Wheeler’s book about her birth  family[/URL]


  1. Perhaps the “feud” would stop when Joan will stop harassing me like she did recently in calling my job with false accusations of computer fraud and telephone calls from my employer and then LYING about it in court – see my post Joan Wheeler perjures herself TWICE on the stand today, July 23, 2013

  2. Reblogged this on Refuting a Book of Lies: Forbidden Family — and commented:

    yes we certainly have left our mark

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