abuser, adoption reform, adoption reunions, Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change, blaming people for your own mess, Brian Maloney Williamsville NY, browbeating people over adoption, browbeating to get your own way, bullying, confrontations with Joan Wheeler, crying wolf, cyberbullying, doing the right thing, embellishing the truth, Forbidden Family a book of lies, intimidation, karma biting you in the ass, mental illness, NPR article 'open secret', silence those who you lie about, sins of omission and suppress of one's own misdeeds
Joan Wheeler’s screaming, that her birthsiblings are attacking her, is nothing new!
NO one pays any attention to anyone who keeps CRYING WOLF. Joan would do better to just disappear. But…since she chooses to speak, ill and falsehoods! …
She OUTED her birth sisters, lied about them and threaten them, on the internet, in December 2009; even earlier! Why?
Because she MUST silence us because we are a threat to her! Why are we a threat? Because we expose Joan’s lies. Funny thing is, she can’t silence us even tho she continues to try! Joan Wheeler has always been paranoid and deranged, but…when the birth family found out that she published a hate-filled lying book about us, she really became UNGLUED! and she hasn’t been put together since and never will be! She needs to get OUT of the adoption reform business because she’s a NO BODY and she is making a laughing stock of herself!
She really ought to forget about any ‘2nd edition’ of that libelous book! She still believes that one can have a 2nd edition of a book that has been pulled from publication. Is this woman nuts or what! If she SOME HOW was able to pull that off, it wouldn’t be too long before we find out about it, and, we will just buy the stupid book and start all over again…in the meanwhile…
Ruth and I recently made public comments on a NPR news article, but this post is not about that. For reference sake here are the links (the news article and my blog post about it)
Joan Wheeler, angry adoptee, is a glutton for punishment, she seeks it out! Then whines when she’s called-out! on November 5, 2013
Now immediately, on that article, when I posted a comment, Joan SCREAMED personal attacks. NONSENSE! She seems to FORGET that she STILL has active personal ATTACKS against us, on her web site, as well as a boy-friend/henceman’s blog against us. Joan Wheeler really ought to pull her head out of her ass!
I had planned on working up the following some time ago, but having other things to do with my life, this ‘got away’ from me. But…as they say…‘it’s all in the timing’! And Karma has a way of biting you in the ass!
Over time, because of our EXPOSING Joan’s active hate against us, she has unwillingly, I’m sure, removed many references to us. She has altered her list of ‘blogs’ and gravitars and links DUE to our pressuring her to stop. But, she hides things, deep, and she’s sneaky. And, as fair warning…I shall, over time, expose each and every blog post on her forbiddenfamily site that speaks falsely and negatively upon the birth family!
Of the following blog posts, of Joan’s, that I wish to SHOW and EXPOSE, the one dated Dec 7, 2009 IS STILL on her blog. The blog is suppose to be about adoption reform not about her hate and rage and lies about birth siblings! So please tell me…why, does she still have this hate and venom against us up??!! Answers; Because she is deranged! Because she thinks NO ONE is paying attention to the fact that it still is there!
The post dated Dec 10, 2009 has been removed…because we KEPT exposing it; just like other hate-speech against us, via Joan and her various henchmen. Joan REMOVED it BECAUSE of the court actions (2013) that Ruth had to take against Joan for calling in false accusations to Ruth’s employee. Joan outed all of us out on the internet, as noted here! Once Joan was made aware, via lawyers, in 2013, that we do indeed have evidence directly from Joan’s web page, Joan removed it (this Dec 10, 2009 post) which names Ruth’s employer, violating privacy.)
Joan ALSO was informed, by lawyers, of our brother’s family…to remove her hate blogs in her listings of her ‘other’ blogs, when she lists OUR brother! Yes, Joan Wheeler is known and NOT LOVED in the birth family.
Over the past 4 (FOUR) years we have been able to get her to remove many references to us on that Forbidden Family web site and other sneaky things she did…but…that didn’t mean that she STOPPED everything. No, she recycled much of her deranged rantings into the cyberbullying site that she created, which is still UP. And, she STILL has the following on her ‘adoption reform’ web site. There is NO REFORM measures in this deranged, hate speech against family!
I request that those that are AGAINST such bullying measures and hate speech to leave comments on her sites requesting the removal of these posts.
Many in the adoption reform movement and/or those that have been Joan’s victims, and/or have seen how she becomes unglued, have distanced themselves from her. She has shown, time and time again, that she uses, abuses and then throws away many, once they have no use to her.
In the following two posts from Joan’s website, you will see, besides ranting and paranoid thinking, the many delusions of greatness that Joan BELIEVED were in the cards for her. But, by gods, her birth siblings were going to RUIN IT ALL FOR HER and so she OUTED them, lied about them to all manner of her friends! She created tall tales about fictious situations as her rants increased telling her ‘friends’ that we siblings have ‘secrets’. And those friends then added their own threats to ‘expose’ our secrets. Nice gal she is! Nice friends she has! Problem is…there are NO SECRETS that can be exposed! That’s purely a bullying technique that Joan and her friends use.
For reference sake here are links to Joan’s hate-blogs:
Here are links to some of Ruth’s and my posts, placed on Ruth’s blog, as I had not my own blog at the time, where I rebuttal these statements and more, that Joan recycled into that cyberbullyingstalker site.
Why is Joan Wheeler scared to have her sisters see her cyber-bullying page? Joan, you’re not afraid of the truth, are you? oh – just afraid of us seeing more of your lies.October 9, 2010
New information, placed by Joan Wheeler, on the Forbidden Family web site, dated or updated early November 2010. –then cowardly removed with no explanation or apology around November 22. November 24, 2010
The new and (not so necessarily) improved blog of Joan Wheeler. part one.November 30, 2010
The new and (not so necessarily) improved blog of Joan Wheeler. part twoDecember 1, 2010
The new and (not so necessarily) improved blog by Joan Wheeler. part 3December 2, 2010
GETTING BACK to the TWO posts in question. As you read these posts, you will see how she is TALKING, via her keyboard, to her birthsiblings. You will note that she really believes that each one of us three are actually IN FRONT of her, like a small child, and she, as BIG MOMMIE, is telling us what we will or will not do or think! She asserts that she KNOWS what is and was in each one of our individual minds, hearts and lives…even when the three of us haven’t laid eyes on Joan in decades!
And remember that Joan Wheeler SCREAMS personal attacks to her, via us the birthsiblings! Joan is using one of her screen names...legitimatebastard. Her words are in italics… do I really have to show her derangement?
Abusers are Warned to Stay Away On December 7, 2009, in Uncategorized, by legitimatebastard
There are specific members of both my adoptive family and my natural family who have been warned to stay away from me: do not view or access my website. Do not show up to any book signings or lectures that I do. Do not deface any of my books that will be in book stores. Do not come to my house. Do not come to my church or mail letters there. Do not email me. Do not send me letters in the mail. Do not call me or talk other relatives to giving you my unlisted phone number. Stop your harassing and slanderous public attacks upon my personal reputation and my professional reputation. You have hurt me enough over the course of three decades. Stop. You don’t have to like what I do, but you do have to leave me alone. I am not bothering you. I do not have your unlisted phone numbers, nor do I know where you live, except for one person in Buffalo: I do know where you live and I have not contacted you in any way. You, however, are using your employer’s computers to access my website. You are using many IP addresses in Buffalo to bother me by reading my website. We saw each other in 2003 when our brother died. You started up again and I told you to stop. Stop. No contact means no contact. Forever.
The one in Watertown: nice try a few years ago to have our step mother make the call so you and I could talk. I know what you were fishing for and it ain’t gonna happen. You did what you did to blatantly hurt me, my children, my now ex-husband, and my adoptive mother, especially on the night her husband, my adoptive father, died. You have no respect for our lives. Your nice letter orchestrated with the other Sippel sisters in 1993 to “Throw me out of the family” really showed you cared. You abused me in ways that no human should be abused. Especially not a youngest sister who was vulnerable, even at age 18 and 20. I was emotionally devastated by the shock of my reunion and the aftermath your phone call did to my parents and to me. None of you cared what damage you caused. You had your chance to patch our relationships, but you blew it. You and the others are not trustworthy. Stay out of my life. If we see each other when our father and step mother dies, so be it. We share a father and a step mother. When that time comes, behave yourself. That goes for the other two sisters, too. Beyond that, you have been and are now, again, told to stay away from me for the duration of your lifetime.
To the sister in Liverpool, England, better stay away from me for the duration of your lifetime. The last time I saw your face was the last time I was in Liverpool: Christmas 1979. You treated me like crap, going hysterical on me, because I look like THEM. Of course I do! We have the same parents! Whatever you have in your mind that I have tried to throw you out of England, I have no idea what you tell people. You destroyed friendships and Cliff Hall from Thye Liverpool Spinners DIED without hearing from me how much he and his family meant to me on my two trips to Liverpool. Same thing with Chris and Hughie Jones. Same thing with Mick Groves and Tony Davis and Jacquie and Jack Owen. You sure do have a big mouth accusing me of doing things to you when I have had no contact with you since our phone converstation at Christmas of 1988.
First you ask me to come to Liverpool, I plan it for two months, then, you call me hysterically and tell me that if I show up I will ruin The Spinners’ last concert for you. I stayed in Buffalo because you didn’t want me. I did not ever contact you again. But you called me, my children, my ex-husband, and yelled horrible statements at me for years. You are ordered to stay away from my website and any book signings and lectures I may do in England or Scotland. You are not welcome in my life — ever.
To the sister in Buffalo: stay away from me for the duration of your lifetime. When our father and our step mother get sick and die, other trusted family members will call me. You are not wanted in my life in any way, in any form. You have been told this a million times over the course of decades. Go away and stay away from me and my children. And do not even THINK of showing up at my adoptive mother’s funeral. You swine! You threatened her! You charged her with child abuse of her grandchildren! You violated an Order of Protection that I had out on you when you showed up at my house in 1993 when my husband and I were moving out of our marrital residence and into separate residences because I was divorcing him. I nver had a sexual or emotional affair with your boyfriend/husband! How dare you accuse me of such trash! And you kept it up for years, invading wherever I moved, calling me, calling my adoptive mother. Leave me and my family alone. Get out of my life! Do not contact any of my adoption reform friends. You are pressing your luck and offending people. Even me writing this post is offensive. I want nothing to do with my three sisters because of the separate and collective effort to malicioulsy hurt me. make fun of me. Put me down. Now, I have acheived my life goal: I would have been happy writtiing about all the fun and exciting things we did, like the Star Trek Convention. But the three of you just would not let up.
I write an article in the paper against sperm donation and you blame me and accuse me of attacking you. Keep your screwy nonsense to yourself. I do not want you in my life at all. The last time you were told this in person was at our father’s 80th birthday. I out up with your antagonistic attitudes for the party for the father we share, but I warned you then, and the fact that you are back, over and over again, means that I must, again, waste my time in securing law enforcement to keep you and the other Sippel sisters away from me.
To my three full blood sisters: STAY OUT OF MY LIFE FOREVER. The three of you are not the focus of my reunion, nor are you the focus of my life. You are simply not as important in my life as you seem to think you are. My adoption and reunion with natural blood kin involve other people and my relationships with them. My book is largely about me: it is my memoir, my social work assessment of my adoption, and, my ivestigations into adoption law and statistics, and, my professional suggestions for change. Harasment from my sisters and from other relatives plays a part in my development, but this is but a part of the whole. Other relatives are suspects in Buffalo and surrounding area. I have said this before to you many times: stay away from me, my website, and anything I do. Harassers, stalkers, cyber bullies, and abusers in general are not wanted in my life. The few relatives who are kind and considerate, who have never hurt me, who have never hurt my children or my ex husband, or who have not hurt my adoptive mother, you know who you are. You are welcome in my life.
Sorry that my varied readership — England, Ireland, Scotland, Australia, Europe, Canada, New Zealand, Indonesia, Honolulu, India, Italy, Greece, Egypt, parts of Africa and all over the United States, Mexico, and South America — I am sorry to put warnings on my site. I am sorry to stoop down to my abusers’ level with this rambling tirad. All people are welcome here. Especially other adoption reformers from around the world. Specific people who have abused me and my children and my adoptive mother and my ex-husband were told many times over decades of abuse to get out of my life forever. Their input into my life and my adoption reform is not wanted, not needed, and is intrusive. By accessing my website, and other websites of adoption reformers, you are causing me, and my adoption reform friends, great distress. Go away. You were never interested in my adoption work. You mocked me and ridiculed me. You sent me hate mail, some from known senders and some from anonymous senders, but all of you were and are family members. Now you even have your full names in blogs to ridicule me by my name. You are in your late 50s and early 60s, but you do not act like adults. Get out of my life.
Comment Moderation is Now Turned Off
AND THEN THIS one, dated December 10, 2009, has been removed from Forbidden Family, but REMAINS forever here.
On December 10, 2009, in Adoption Psychology, Family Systems, by legitimatebastard …. No comment on comment moderation.
IPs are no longer being tracked. Kaleidahealth.org and Buffalo General Hosptial employee Ruth Sippel Pace has made it her business to attract public attention. It seems that she wants it that way. She and sister Kathy Sippel Inglis from Liverpool, UK want to humilate me. Funny thing, our oldest sister, Gertrude Sippel Finken McQueen, has somehow backed off. Wonder why. Keep at it and I will publish online the real reasons you keep doing what you do. Freedom of speech, right? Want to do trash talk? I’ll give you trash talk of all the dirty little secrets all three of you have that are not in my book. And, why did I bother to change names in the book? I was thinking of all of YOUR privacy, but heh, guess it is time to use real names because Ruthie decided to jump the gun.
You have invaded my life time and time again. Go ahead. You want to know you have hurt me, well, you have. Repeatedly. I am worth nothing. You have proven that. I give my deep and humble bow to the authority of my older and wiser sisters. I am paying for this website, but it is yours now. Do with it as you please. I will continue to pay for any abuse you fling my way.
Reunions are not bad. Adoptees are not bad. But when they are found by sisters who have no respect for others, then there is a big problem. Anyone who wants to read more abuse, please read the Page: Cyber Bullies and Stalkers Forum. Go to it. I’m just a lousy, good for nothing, adoptee, born a premie, should have died because then the four older kids would have had your mother. Baby sister is just a shit head. Involve yourselves some more in my life. Go ahead. Kill any chance of a life for me. You’ve been doing that for decades.
end…of Joan’s rants, on these two posts…
DOES ANY ONE STILL BELIEVE THAT JOAN WHEELER IS SANE? end of this blog post
lie #1: “The last time you were told this in person was at our father’s 80th birthday. I out up with your antagonistic attitudes for the party for the father we share, but I warned you then”
no, we never spoke to each other at the party. When she was leaving, she turned to me as she was going out the door and said “Ruth, we need to talk.” I was sitting on the couch with my stepmother. We both looked at each and rolled our eyes. We said nothing to Joan. I didn’t even look back at her. Let’s see – who was at the party. – my father, who is now deceased. My stepmother. My two stepsisters, their husbands, their kids (5 in all) a few of the kids friends – I think maybe 4. Count them up: 5 adults that are still alive, and about 9 kids – ranging in ages 10 – 17. They are witnesses that Joan did NOT warn me about anything. They are witnesses that Joan and I did NOT speak.
lie #2: “You violated an Order of Protection that I had out on you when you showed up at my house in 1993″
nope – she moved out of the house on Saturday, July 31, 1993. We didn’t even get to court until August 9, 1993. And it was then the judge handed down the order of protection (over annoyance phone calls that I placed because I was pissed at Joan’s STEALING HUNDREDS OF $$$ FROM ME). Joan says in her book that the date I came to her house was August 1, 1993. I have posted on my blog a scan of the actual order of protection and the date it went into effect was August 9, 1993 and it expired February 9, 1994. It was for six months, yet Joan reports it as being for one year.lie #3: “You charged her (her mother) with child abuse of her grandchildren!”wrong – Joan herself placed the child abuse call posing as me. The call was that I was turning in my own fiance for having sex with Joan and her mother liked to watch. or something like that. Joan then wrote to the Department of Social Services in Albany NY and told them on August 9, 1993 that I was sentanced to six months probation. – wrong – it was the afore-mentioned order of protection that I was sentance to NOT probation. at least she got the date correct in her stupid lying letterlie #4:
“I nver had a sexual or emotional affair with your boyfriend/husband! How dare you accuse me of such trash!”
Joan likes to spread that around that I accused her of having an affair with John. Nope, I never said that. However, Joan wrote a letter to John in March 1995, sending it to his mother’s house and asked him if he was leaving me. (copy of this letter and envelope, in Joan’s handwriting is posted on my blog) — Also in 1999, she sent me a letter stating that John got the next door neighbor pregnant. and the house was vacant! Trash? oh, yes, there is a LOT of trash coming out of Joan’s mouth!