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Another one bites the dust! Joan Wheeler, ‘fiancé’ break-up! Gosh, we told you it would happen!

by on December 27, 2013

The new guy and his family got to see the true nature of and got the full treatment from Joan once they would NOT BEND to her will. Like we have been saying; if you have NOT been victimized by Joan Wheeler you cannot understand what we are saying.

UPDATE Nov 2015  as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate of Joan M Wheeler.

https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/

https://www.facebook.com/dupedbyadoption1

to continue on with this post…

But of course she DID pick another loser to begin with! Her quickie romance and marriage plans were formed and built on a ‘pickup’ at a bar over a 2 week period of time. They were doomed from the first! We, the birth sisters, knew how it would end when we first heard about it! We gave it six months; it was over in less than three! She’s only, just now, gotten around to broadcasting all the gory details.

Okay we will concede that the guy may not have been altogether, even by Joan’s accounts/standards, he was pretty sleazy and messed up. But, Joan is known to pick sleaze and she is WILLING and (according to her) is ABLE to fix them; even if they don’t want to be fixed!

So, while I and anyone else I know, would not have given this guy a second look, let alone get so far, so fast, as to be engaged to marry within 2 weeks, one does have to wonder WHY did Joan do it? There has to be some point where Joan herself is the total blame! Joan NEEDS a man, a sugar daddy, someone who will pay her bills, save her house, and LET HER do whatever she wants. She wants to wear the pants in the family and/but wants a man and it looks like any man will do.

Being Joan, she shall never admit her mistake, her error in judgment. And as will be seen in the following words directly from Joan she has yet again, fallen into her same old pattern of picking abusive men and being abused and then crying for sympathy all the while as she denies she has ever done it in the past and she is so just a victim! Excuse me while I puke.

You will see, by reading her own words, as she tells her story about being used and abused by this guy, that she is repeating her pattern. She fucking WROTE a BOOK in which she describes in the same details, as now, how she was abused by a boyfriend and put up with it for YEARS because she KNEW how to fix him. The guy, then like now, DID NOT accept Joan’s point of view and because of that, now that it’s over, she MUST browbeat him/them all into HER WAY OF THINKING. So, it’s no wonder why the guy, as a loser in his own right, but also his entire family, which Joan was kissing ass and sucking up to, just a few months ago must now feel her wrath! It’s all here in this post…the before sucking up and the aftermath of her hatred because THEY and HE would not accept HER VIEWS.

For reference sake, here are a few blog posts where we see and learn how Joan has acted in the past with negative men, relationships and how she blames others, takes no responsibility for her own actions, and continues on being a first class idiot and all-round nut case.

Now back to current affairs…since June, Joan had been busy with this NEW man and was gone for a while (it sure was nice when she’s quiet) but then she got back on her tweeter account –

@forbiddenfamily

First she had to make sure that everyone knew that her sisters are crazy and that she’s the victim again.

dec 7 she says…

        Sorry for my sisters’ crazies. I want to say that my sisters are crazy. Can’t get them out of my life. Have no contact with them at all. Uh, they make things up in their heads. So sorry. My focus here is communicating on adoption issues.

And of course, that set off some fireworks, on tweeter, short-lived but there was NO REASON for Joan to make that comment about something that was at that time a MONTH OLD.

But she was only getting started. THEN on another topic 21 dec, in response to someone who said, ‘Your “I Stand with Jesus” is crap if you stand on a soapbox of judgment and hatred Live your faith. Love better’

 Joan says…

      Yep. I was victim of such from a Catholic family in New Mexico this past summer. Attacked me for my non-belief. How about respect?

And then…says…

       Much is ignorance of the “other”. We all need to ask questions humbly and respectfully.

SINCE WHEN DOES JOAN ASK ANY QUESTION HUMBLY AND RESPECTFULLY?

I bet when she TOLD the guy’s family that is she an atheist she ALSO berated them for their ignorance in believing what they believe in. She did it to our father and to each of her siblings.

Anyway…she then lays the following out…so she can gather the sympathy votes…

       Had altitude sickness this past summer. Sick for three weeks. Yes, terrifying.

THEN on Facebook she tells the world…

Dec 21, 2013 Joan M Wheeler  said

Another one bites the dust…said goodbye to a man to whom I was supposed to marry. But he drank heavily, his family attacked me for my non-religious views, and he does not know how social media works, so he was suspicious of my Facebook friends. We did spend nearly one month, happily, driving across the country during the summer. I loved Taos, New Mexico: the natural beauty, the hot springs, the mountains, the Indians. But I didn’t love the narrow-minded Spanish culture that tried to break us apart. They won. I stayed with this man who caved in to his family’s verbal abuse. He drove drunk, spent 33 days in jail. I flew home, alone, facing my friends 2500 miles away from Taos. I should have left him then, but I stayed to try to make it work. It doesn’t work. Alcohol won. I can’t spend the rest of my life with somene like that, making things up in his head and believing his imagings. And drinking on top of that. I gave it my all. I am so sorry to those of you who witnessed this man’s drunken outbursts in Atlanta for the Adoptees’ Rights Demonstration. So, I’m done. Moving on.

a comment: You deserve so much better, Joan. I’m glad you kicked his drunken, controlling @ss to the curb.

Joan M Wheeler Interestingly, he claimed that I was controlling! I explained that we activists hear that all the time because we are “shoving our ideas down other people’s throats”. Well, he also said that “blood is thicker than water” and while he is sorry that his family attacked me, he doesn’t want to lose them because of me. So, you KNOW what the “Blood is thicker than water” statement does to an adoptee… Yep, he’s blocked. Off my phone, pictures already gone. I am so tired of men who use what we do agaisnt us. Thank you, Christine.

a comment:Ya, living your life by someone else’s script is not really living. Good for you, sista!

Joan M Wheeler And, no tears. I mean, I cried buckets in September when he landed in jail and I flew back home alone. I beleived he could recover. He couldn’t. What his family did to me was even worse. Spying on me on LinkedIn, blogs, beleiving crap that’s out there that certain haters write ( an you know who they are). I must be believed. Oh, and I’m done trying to cope with men who won’t deal with their issues and who then project their crap onto me. Doesn’t work. I know myself pretty well. Not perfect, but I know I did no one harm. So I am now planning on being in San Fransico in April, shal I meet you there?

a comment: Wow, what a total douche and it sounds like he never cut the umbilical cord. I’m about a 6 hour drive north of SF. If you head North, let me know!!! ya.

Joan M Wheeler  you MUST attend the AAC conference in April!

 a comment: I can’t take the time off then and I really can’t go where adoptoraptors lurk. I will, however, be at the 2015 Adoptee Rights Protest in Seattle, WA. I hope you will be there!!!

a comment: I am sad that you (and so many others of us) have gone through experiences like this… We give our Love and that makes us the winners. Recovery is a choice, and like living or existing, each person has to make that choice for themselves.

Joan M Wheeler  Thanks, I gave him support and guidance in his recovery. I accepted his phone calls in the wee hours of the morning. I nursed him back to somewhat stable mind. But his accusations and distrust of me continued. He has no choice for recovery in terms of DWI legal probationary terms, but his attitude and now turning to prescription pain pills to mask his mental problems…oh dear. Thanks for your support.

a comment: He didn’t win, in the end, you are the winner. There is no way to battle drugs and alcohol. The only one that will win that battle is the user themselves once they decide not to let it control their life. Mama’s boy??? I have a remedy for that one. I left my mama’s boy with mama so they could support each others habit, while their family paid their bills.

Joan M Wheeler  Interestingly, this man I left is 63 years old! Momma’s dead. But his entire family are drinkers. Enablers. And gossipers. And backstabbers. I went there to visit and was attacked. For being myself. I was respectful. To everyone. Now he’s got the family who is holding him down. He wanted his blood family, telling me I don’t know what love is because I have Facebook friends who are men. Oh give me a break! Just because he is retired, and not connected by social media, doesn’t mean I should be judged for my connections. I am getting back involved with my life, pronto!

a comment: Control freak.

Joan M Wheeler Like I said, he accussed me of being the control freak. Umm, I’m the one who encouraged him to go out, make new friends, be happy. I brought him to my music hangouts in Buffalo. Ugg. Wow. I can’t beleive I stuck it out this long.

 a comment: He definitely sounds like he has a mental illness.

a comment: I also dealt with an alcoholic at one time. It’s never worth it. And you are better off now.

a comment: Sorry to hear of your loss. Better days ahead !!!!!!!!!!

a comment: May positive people and good experiences be in your future.

A comment: I am very sorry to hear of a dream and hope lost, but it seems you have yourself together and ready to keep living, and for that I am very grateful.

a comment: like L said, “It’s never worth it.” I’ve been stuck in an off again on again relationship (and the ‘on again’ only involves association – no joy, no sex,…no joy of sex LOL) for 26 years because I feel soon for him. All the people he thinks are his wonderful good friends have made fun of him and ridiculed him in from of me but I’m the mean one. Substance addicted people are not, ever, worth the heart ache.

a comment: I am sorry you are going through this. You gave it more than 100% it sounds like.

a comment: Must not give up if meant to be and we ALL gotta let go of the anger and forgive and forge another way. If I was next to you right now I would give U a big hug Joan. Much learned in the past and to be learned to be HAPPY! Hopefully w/help and understanding, guidance, acceptance, etc. Again wishing the best…

Joan M Wheeler Thank you, all: No, I am not giving up. I am happy inside myself. It is odd, the more I am comfortable with myself, the more some others want me to be miserable. I am not angry at all. Just disappointed I guess. and, all I did was show up at one of your gigs. Whic I plan to do more of! I am okay, really. Thanks for my friends.

a comment: Know what is like to have people tell you that you are the nut case. More people need to know what we all go through before they judge us. Prayers to you my old college friend.

End of the Facebook telling.

SO what does this all mean?? It means that, Joan is the typical narcissist sociopathic type will always draw to themselves the same type of personality and they will always have this sick type of relationship. The guy also is a narcissist sociopathic…that makes this doubly sick.

Now, let’s look at Joan’s tweeter feed for the historical happenings. At first she’s in that first flush of heat! This is typical! Particularly when both are looking for the other to MET THEIR NEEDS! (I put all the tweeters together for one or two paragraphs. Between June 14 – June 24 Joan had this to say)

Everything just fell into place. Life couldn’t be better. Creativity, companionship, music. I am at peace. Two weeks ago my life changed. A chance meeting on a rooftop restaurant means my present and future are brighter Just spoke with my fiancé’s 91 year old father long distance. What a sweet old man. Will meet him very soon, God willing. Comanche and Spanish, I have much to learn. Thankful for my teen years immersed in Native American culture, Spirituality. Not at all foreign Dancing, singing, traditional dress: all familiar to me. Now to learn the language and more traditions. I’ll be in his home very soon. Dancing, singing, traditional dress: all familiar to me. Now to learn the language and more traditions. I’ll be in his home very soon.

 Separation is temporary, love is eternal. My love waits for me in New Mexico. What a miracle, we can hardly believe it. So it is understandable why I am not on Twitter much these days. So much joy, something we both thought would not happen, but it has. So he says to me today, something about “Anglos” – Guess that’s the term for Whites in New Mexico. We laughed. His family calls me Doris. That’s my birthname, but to them, it is my name. Oh the joys of being adopted. My birthname is now respected! It just occurred to me: my fiancé’s family will be speaking Spanish to each other when I’m there. 3 cheers for my limited English language..So I took French in grade school, didn’t pay attention, again in high school, didn’t pay attention. Always wanted to learn Native. Will now!

End of the budding romance! Now, remember that Joan had taken this new love with her to court when she had to face the charges of ‘why’ she falsely accused Ruth of computer fraud. That was in July! Ruth saw this man. In August an aunt died. Joan took this man to the calling hours and Ruth saw this man. Ruth was unable to attend the funeral but was told by other family members that most snubbed Joan. Joan also told a family member that ‘they’ had their first disagreement; where would they live, NY or NM! That was the FIRST sign that things were not all that rosy. Joan’s WILL shall be first and foremost, period, end of story.

And now…..it’s ended…so now she tells ALL…because she needs the sympathy!

Dec 23 – 26 she says on twitter (again I put them all into a few paragraphs)

Paranoid men who can not even figure out that social media is a communication tool. Suspicion and his made-up scenarios: defend myself why? The end of a relationship. I am relieved. Will someone send a put-together man to me for Christmas? I’m SO tired of abusive men. Or paranoid

 Great. Just checking my website tracker. Now my ex fiance and his daughter are still viewing my website. DUDE! It is over! Go away!Wondering why ex fiance is stalking me after our breakup. Nothing says OBSESSED like cyberstalking. 2/2 Honestly, there should be no one from New Mexico viewing my website. I know who it is. We are 2,500 miles away from each other.Oh yeah, now that I said that, go ahead New Mexico, check out my website! Normall people welcome! Ex fiance and his family not welcome.I know two other stalkers who are reading my Tweets and broadcasting far and wide. Go ahead. I can’t get away from you either. Blocked you.So my plan for safety: pretty soon it’ll be the police. Ex fiance: you need to stop bothering me. Tell your daughter and ex wife to go away.

 And I don’t care if you want a friendship. Not possible after all the crap you and your family dished out to me.I am not angry. I am now afraid. You won’t leave me alone. Get a life. Without me.I am not crying. I am not in deep sorrow. I cried enough over the past seven months. Getting your calls from Taos County Jail was bad enough Hey listen up. You were the one who made the choice to drink to excess, get bombed on prescription pain pills, and spent 33 days in jail.I tired. I comforted you. I raged because of you. Because of your family’s attacks upon me out of their ignorance of atheism. Their lies…I couldn’t take your projecting your imaginary fantasies onto me. You making up stories in your head. You being so paranoid that I’d leave

 You sent me a great photo of you in full Indian headdress. Most amazing photo of you, which is one reason I love you. So I proudly showed it to a friend. Then told you. Why were you so upset? As if I broke a sacred trust between us? Why so paranoid? I was proud to brag.You’ve been freaking out like this 4 months. Over stupid little things. We made it thru the jail time. I accepted u back. But it is over now I do not want reminders. I do not want to see you. Hear from you. See your town on my website tracker. You go your way and I’ll go mine.

 I should have left that day you freaked out when my aunt died. You made it about your grief over Vietnam, over your Mom’s death in 2010…But my aunt died in early August. Instead of comforting me, you attacked me. Lunged at me with your PTSD and how deathy affects you. I comforted you, you creep. I needed comfort, but you demanded I comfort you. should have kicked you out then. And now, you’ll continue to obssess about me.

 I know you’re not on Twitter. But my stalking sisters are. They’ll make sure you can read this Leave me alone! Please. Just leave me in peace. I need my life back.I did just that – let him go. But he won’t let me go. Stalking. Obsssed with me.Just go away.I know what he’s still doing: checking the weather channel for weather in my city, thinking of where I am: the Y, music shows, plus thinking of the new Indians I met recently. Thinking how I am “turned on” by them. No, idiot. They are new friends, not boyfriends. You see everything I do and everyone I meet as a threat to you. You are paranoid. Make things up in your head. Accuse me. Suspicious when not true.So now you got what you wanted. I hope you are satisfied. Run scared. I know you will be. Because I Tweet about our breakup? Too bad. No one knows your name. No one. Don’t like being talked about? I don’t like being talked about, either. But htat is what you and your family do best. Make up gossip. Spread lies. Spread filth. And hate.

 yes, thank you. I’m okay. I just can’t figure out why he has to cyberstalk me after our breakup. He’s 2500 miles away so no harm!Thank you for u’r concern. He’s 2500 miles away so no harm can be done physically. Good. But why the cyberstalking?Yes, I’m at home, safe. When in Taos in Sept, due to his drunken stupor, I stayed 5 days in homeless shelter. Flew home alone Stupid me. Trying to make something work when he’s the Stupid me. Trying to make something work when he’s the addict. Kept it hidden. My foolishness to try. Police will be notified: Police will be notified if I see one more website tracker notice from his town and his daughter’s and ex-wife’s town. Now, as long as he does not come here where I live, I will be safe. Just making statements on Twitter so he can hear thru gossip online that I want no further contact. He and his family nosied where they dont’ belong. Gossip creeps read my Tweets:No one on my friends list are the4 creeps! Must understand that though I blocked 2 sisters, they still read and blog about me. So, I’m using their form of cyberbullying to my advantage: go ahead, gossip! No all of the creeps know I want no contact! My goal is to have only happy, positive people in my life! Gathering of kind, warm, accepting, witty, smart people! I’m okay!

So this begs the questions

WHY doesn’t she change her mode of operations? Why can’t she see that what she’s been doing all her life, just isn’t working? Is she really that full of herself that she can’t see what’s wrong with her?

DOES Joan have any positive things going into her life? She never tells us anything that is positive in what she does. Nothing about good eating, sleeping, exercise, meditations, readings, etc…she boring! Once in a while is posts some feel good quote, but she doesn’t live it!

The things that she tells about, what she does in her life are the constant browbeating of people over adoption! She’s always pissed and angry over the issues of adoption. She searches all over the internet for news stories so she can be pissed and angry. This is her driving force. This is her only driving force. Joan will be 58 in a couple of weeks! She is a bitter angry person. NO ‘put together’ man will want her, not while she is angry, pissed, bull-headed, and browbeats and insults everyone if they don’t agree with her. Her life span is already been compromised due to her self-induced mental anguish. She would be wise to alter what she’s doing and GET A LIFE before SHE BITES THE DUST.

end

  1. at the age of 58 – Joan STILL hasn’t figured out that the source of all her problems is — HERSELF!
    person after person has told her the same thing. To shut her mouth. To stop lecturing people when their opinion is different than hers. (WHAT IS SHE GOD?) – To stop trying to control people. (CONTROL FREAK). I told her that she was a control freak. So did my father. So did her ex-husband, so did my cousin Franklin. So did her boyfriends – (she says this in her book). And now, so does this guy. – DO YOU SEE A PATTERN? What makes the whole dam world WRONG and only JOAN right? She MUST be God!
    She had been told repeatedly to stop lying. She keeps at it. She has been told repeatedly by many people to stop exageratng. She keeps it up. She has been told by many people to get out of their lives. She won’t. She has been told even by law enforcement to stop harassing me and other people – she keeps at it. Gods, why won’t the authorities lock this bitch up? She is clearly insane. She is a psychopath, sociopath and a dangerous individual.
    She keeps making the wrong decisions in life but never learns from them.
    She called my job repeatedly in 1994-95 with false accusations of computer fraud. I was exonerated then. She does it again in November 2012 and I’m exonerated again. What part of “they are a large corporation with tight computer security and they can trace every keystroke I do” doesn’t Joan get?
    I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: she needs to be locked up in the psych center, a lobotomy performed.
    For the love of heaven Joan – SHUT UP

    Edit

  2. and Joan still has not learned a thing…she just CAN’T let go, of the boyfriend or the sisters
    at about midnight on Dec 30 she states on her twitter

    Deep pain in knowing it is over. My love. New Year will be better for us both. I release you, my love. Good bye my Darling. May you find your true love. She lies within. I move on

    I thought she said all that and more already! See Joan never lets go of anyone….and the next thing she’ll do is USE him as examples for why HER LIFE IS A MESS, just as she does with the birth sisters.

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5 Comments
  1. Reblogged this on Refuting a Book of Lies: Forbidden Family — and commented:

    new DEVELOPMENTS in the Joan Wheeler life saga, get a barf-bag!

  2. at the age of 58 – Joan STILL hasn’t figured out that the source of all her problems is — HERSELF!
    person after person has told her the same thing. To shut her mouth. To stop lecturing people when their opinion is different than hers. (WHAT IS SHE GOD?) – To stop trying to control people. (CONTROL FREAK). I told her that she was a control freak. So did my father. So did her ex-husband, so did my cousin Franklin. So did her boyfriends – (she says this in her book). And now, so does this guy. – DO YOU SEE A PATTERN? What makes the whole dam world WRONG and only JOAN right? She MUST be God!
    She had been told repeatedly to stop lying. She keeps at it. She has been told repeatedly by many people to stop exageratng. She keeps it up. She has been told by many people to get out of their lives. She won’t. She has been told even by law enforcement to stop harassing me and other people – she keeps at it. Gods, why won’t the authorities lock this bitch up? She is clearly insane. She is a psychopath, sociopath and a dangerous individual.
    She keeps making the wrong decisions in life but never learns from them.
    She called my job repeatedly in 1994-95 with false accusations of computer fraud. I was exonerated then. She does it again in November 2012 and I’m exonerated again. What part of “they are a large corporation with tight computer security and they can trace every keystroke I do” doesn’t Joan get?
    I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: she needs to be locked up in the psych center, a lobotomy performed.
    For the love of heaven Joan – SHUT UP

  3. and Joan still has not learned a thing…she just CAN’T let go, of the boyfriend or the sisters
    at about midnight on Dec 30 she states on her twitter

    Deep pain in knowing it is over. My love. New Year will be better for us both. I release you, my love. Good bye my Darling. May you find your true love. She lies within. I move on

    I thought she said all that and more already! See Joan never lets go of anyone….and the next thing she’ll do is USE him as examples for why HER LIFE IS A MESS, just as she does with the birth sisters.

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  1. would somebody please lobotomize Joan Wheeler? | Refuting a Book of Lies: Forbidden Family --
  2. Joan Wheeler has agreed to be friends with the guy from New Mexico- CAN WE SAY STOOPID? | Refuting a Book of Lies: Forbidden Family --

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