abuser, adoption, adoption reform, adoption reunions, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, browbeating people over adoption, call to arms, change your life, confrontations with Joan Wheeler, Doris Sippel, embellishing the truth, exploiting a dying dead mother, family honor, Forbidden Family a book of lies, how not to be a social-worker, mental illness, sins of omission and suppress of one's own misdeeds, wrong with your sisters
Joan Wheeler’s new opinion piece hits the internet news stand! How NOT to do any kind of reform!
Fresh off the presses! This is HOT! As it happened! January 21/22, 2014
I’m only giving the news story link and some of the comments, which are not necessarily in order of being written. I am NOT including her opinion. To see that and more go to the link. I find it utter amazing that someone, Joan, is so brain dead as to NOT see the writing on the wall! She utterly does NOT see what EVERYONE else sees…that she’s totally nuts. She’s wants to be, says she IS, a PUBLIC spokesperson, and yet can not DEAL with her own dirty deeds when they are brought out in the open. Gee, even I am a bit embarrassed FOR HER. But no one can stop a fool from showing the world how BIG a fool they are.
And if the following doesn’t prove her stupidity, she is hanging on to her view that she was ‘attacked’ and there WILL BE MORE articles from her, for she states:
Am in process of writting a more detailed article or perhaps a series.
But first…there are more comments than what is presented here and they keep coming in! These adoptees just can’t stand when they are openly opposed!
we didn’t bring up the book. somebody else did. and he wasn’t totally “anonymous”, that is his screenname. And in going thru his comments, I find a couple of interesting things. He is a guitarist. He performs at a bar that Joan frequently goes to. I also googled his screen name. Several references to guitars. This guy is obviously a guitarist and Joan knows who he is.I don’t know this person. I have never stepped foot in the bar – I know about it from Joan’s tweets.It is interesting to me, that this person, a stranger to me, but obviously not to Joan – knows about her book and its being pulled due to its libelous content.Joan – what have you been saying in person about me and my family? Obviously your trash talking has made you rather infamous.You want to be a public figure Joan, then be prepared to take the heat – any public person gets past misdeeds shone the light on them.
Erika Klein “Angry adoptee” “Disgruntled B.mother” Common terms by those who hold and have always had the power in an adoption situation. Everyone should be so happy to be adopted, and so grateful their child has a better life, if not, get ready for the hate and labels. Opening records and family origins is a human right. Keeping adoption a secret is playing god with people’s lives. This basic information & history should be made available to every person who seeks it.
um, Joan Wheeler herself describes herself as an “angry adoptee.” as do MANY adoptees.
and that she is a militant activist who will work till her last breath and that she has ‘boots on the ground in Buffalo NY’ and that she’s planning a BIG MEDIA event when her SECOND EDITION (not) is published. A person can NOT have a second edition of a pulled libelous book. If she has ANOTHER BOOK in the works, it is another book, NOT a second edition. Seems to me that this woman needs to get OFF the imaginary battlefield and leave people who WANT to adopt to do so. If anyone wants to change the system, do so withOUT harassing those of us that WANT TO ADOPT or DISAGREE with her.
Forbidden Family This article is not about my memoir. But since my protesters want to make it about my memoir: My memoir: Forbidden Family, was not pulled from publication due to libel and slander. This is a lie perpetrated by my three sisters, and others, from my natural family, and possibly from my adoptive family. My sisters wrote 34 pages of complaints to Trafford Publishing, a publish-on-demand publisher who called me on the phone in May 2010 to tell me to “write a book my sisters would approve of”. The publishing contract of this publish-on-demand publisher stipulated that if a third party complained, the book would be pulled. This applies to any writer of any book. So, my sisters, who have set out to humiliate me, complained. The book was pulled due to the complaints made by three disgruntled sisters who were not named outright in the book anyway. The book is not hate-filled. It is the story of my life as an adoptee who was found, at my age of 18, by full-blood siblings my adoptive parents did not want me to ever know. THAT is the main point of my book: the deceptive secrecy of an intricate system of lies within my adoptive family, within my natural family, and the legal adoption system itself. I am publishing all of birth certificates and some of my adoption papers to address the larger issues of adoptees’ civil rights which need immediate legislative and legal action. My memoir is currently in production for publication elsewhere. None of what is said in these comments – by my sisters and one anonymous commenter, is true. I have notified the Editorial Staff about publishing these comments from such personal attacks. Now, if my enemies would care to sue me for libel and slander, please do so. Meanwhile, my job as an activist is to write about the issues pertinent to adoptees — our lost civil rights — which is what this article is about.
gert mcqueen Forbidden Family from ‘Forbidden Family’ written by Joan Wheeler..
chapter 35 titled ‘I don’t understand your life and I never will’ page 452 ‘yes, Jimmy earned a place in this book right along with the other examples of prejudice against adoptees, against me, to be remembered for all the wrong reasons.’
over 600 pages of personal torment and anger over HER being adopted! If you want to change the laws of adoption and birth certificates, and civil rights. do so with OUT slandering and libeling OTHERS and violating THEIR civil rights.Get a life! Get a grip on reality!
gert mcqueen PriscillaSharp
Joan was searching for her family before her family contacted her. Families are messy and as you know all reunions are not created equally. I’m glad that Joan gave us the opportunities to show just how messy she has made our families’ lives. thank you for your concern
Ruth Herr Sippel Pace PriscillaSharp
your opinion – anyways, in a previous comment YOU made 4 months ago, you asked a commentor to cite court documents. I cited court documents here – and you pooh-pooh my evidence of slander against me. Priscilla, methinks you use double standards.
Sorry, Joan, but the order of protection that you obtained was dated August 9, 1993 to February 9, 1994 – a total of six months, not for a year as you reported in your book. And it was also ACD – adjournment on consideration of dismissal – NOT probation. Therefore, I do not have a criminal record as you state in your book.
Also you allege that I called child abuse on you – and named my own fiance as an abuser. (yeah, right). And that you took me to court in 1994. No, you did not. In 1995, I took you took to court for harassment, but the judge dismissed the charges. BUT the district attorney told you to leave me alone. But you contacted me in 1998, and again in 1999. I filed charges on you again and was granted a one year order of protection. Printouts from the court’s computer shows no court case in 1994. These documents were sent to Trafford Publications and Eugene Hopkins. They determined you commited libel. You used my father’s real last name. You used my mother’s real first and last name. and the date of her death. Anybody could go to the microfilm of the library and find out my name. You also referenced an article you wrote in 1990 “The Secret is Out,” which DID contain my real name (without my permission). In a footnote in the book, you told readers where to go to see that article – leading them to my real name.
The contract that you signed with Trafford also states that the book did not contain hate speech or obscene language, yet you trash people who live in “trailer parks.” You included a picture of a postcard that you claim to have received in the mail and with NO PROOF AT ALL – you state in the book that I, and my friend mailed it to you. The postcard contains a lot of filthy words.
I do not work for Trafford, nor do I know anyone who works there. If their legal department looked through the material I sent them and determined that you were in the wrong, than that is your problem. Actual police and City of Buffalo Court documents bear out the facts of the situation – that Joan Wheeler lied in her book about me, and is continuing to lie. She did in fact tweet in April 2013 that she fantasized blowing up government offices. I notified the FBI about this tweet. What they do, or do not do – is not on me.There are too many dangerous mentally ill people running around and this is a clear example of it.
Adoptees are always clamoring for the truth – so I give the truth right here. And as I said, actual police and City of Buffalo court documents bear out the truth and facts – that Joan Wheeler slandered and libeled me in her book and continues to do so.
By the guidelines of the publisher, you did NOT DISTANCE your book from persons that could and did identify themselves, in fact you placed the family name on the front cover and included ALL identifying information in the book: that is basis for why YOU BROKE the contract that YOU signed with the publisher. I know this because I spoke with the 2 top people of that publishing house! The book, as you wrote it, is indeed full of hate, we have QUOTED you, your OWN words, about everyone who apparently ever harmed you because you are adopted. The book, as you wrote, also contents MANY violations of the publishing house’s OWN RULES, like obscenities. I gave page # to the publisher. The book contains only about 80 or so pages out of 640 that have ANY true adoption reform in them! I have dissected the entire book, on my blog and shall continue. We were SHOCKED to find what you wrote and continue to write about FAMILY. You have a long history of dirty words and deeds behind you! You are YOUR DEEDS AND WORDS
Joan says “publish-on-demand publisher who called me on the phone in May 2010 to tell me to “write a book my sisters would approve of”. That is total nonsense. It was May 2011, not 2010. and how does Joan know how many pages there were – when there were no pages – I emailed the documents to Mr. Hopkins. And I suppose there were a lot of pages printed out – I did send Mr. Hopkins all the court documents that totally contradicted what Joan Wheeler said in her book about me.
and by the way, we were accused of writing a 28 page letter to various adoption conferences around the world in the early 1990’s and sending a copy to adoption expert Joe Soll. Yes, Joan writes that in her book. AND she says she phoned Mr. Soll to discuss this fictitious letter with him. In May 2010, Gert email Mr. Soll and within a half hour of his receiving her email, he emailed back and said that he didn’t know what was going on, never heard of a 28 page letter, never talked to Joan on the phone about that either. Mr. Soll wrote in his email “what Joan has written in her book about me is patently false.”
As to an accusation of “personal attacks” – sorry, but if you put yourself out in public view, and publish a book with your own attacks on people, you have opened yourself up to full disclosure. Nobody told Joan to write lies about people, lies that could be disproved with actual written documents. Nobody told Joan to go on various internet sites and lie about people. Freedom of Speech also comes with consequences. Speak the truth, or get called out on it. My blog and Gert’s blog contains scans of the documents that I refer to. It also contains screenshots of various things that Joan has put out on the internet – the actual lies she has put out there about me. We even have the actual screenshot of Mr. Soll’s email that states that she lied about him in the book.
Erika Klein Typical adopters. Making it all about them. Still trying to keep a hold on the dialogue. I really am not interested in mud slinging you are doing here, i AM interested in the message, which is critical an affects millions. Every human being has a right to their origins, background & vital health information. Adoption would not change if these rights were given. Adoptees are not personal property, nor are they charity cases that have to be grateful to their owners. They came from a family before they were exchanged to a new family, and they have every right to that information. If there is no wrong doing, then there should be no secrecy.
Erika, you say “I really am not interested in mud slinging you are doing here, i AM interested in the message, which is critical an affects millions. Every human being has a right to their origins, background & vital health information” You are right. however, every human being has a right NOT to have lies spread out them or their family. EVERY time Ms. Wheeler speaks about her adoption, she slings lies and misrepresentations about us. Adoptees want their rights? okay, fine. BUT DO NOT DO IT BY LYING ABOUT PEOPLE.
Gert Mc Queen is not a birth mother, nor is she an adoptive mother. She gave birth to a son and a daughter in the mid 1960s. Her second husband, in 1980 or 81, wanted to adopt the teenage boy, but not the tenage girl. I told my sister and her second husband that for him to adopt an older child would result in his birth certificate being confiscated by the state, sealed, and a new one issued in its place, as if he were sired by the step father. My sister, Gert, became enraged. Evidently, as mother, she had to sign relinquishment papers. Now she is telling the world that she is an adoptive mother, that she is a birthmother. No, she is not. And yes, mud slinging is all they do. Thank you, Erika, for your understanding of the topic addressed by this article.
excuse me this is MY life you are not getting right. When children are over the age of 14 they MUST GIVE THEIR OWN PERMISSION TO BE ADOPTED. My son wanted adoption, my daughter did not…simple, the step-parent had NO SAY IN THAT. There is a very extensive background check to adopt and the teenagers spoke directly to a judge, who said he wished all parents were like us.
But Joan Wheeler, can’t abide any adoption and she stood in my kitchen, telling me I was an unfit mother because I was giving my son AWAY INTO ADOPTION. Yes, I signed a piece of paper giving him up, on the second paper I became his foster mother, on the third paper I became his adoptive mother. That’s the way it is done. Joan didn’t like that, but it was NOT her business. She said we have to listen to her, we did, we told her IT WAS OUR RIGHT AND DECISION to make NOT hers butt out.
Regardless of ADOPTION terms the FACT is I gave birth that MAKES ME A BIRTHMOTHER. I adopted that MAKES ME AN ADOPTIVE MOTHER. I don’t care what any adoption reform activist says…this woman VIOLATED my parental rights and alienated my MINOR children from their rightful birth and adopted parents.
When a child is 14 and older they must give their own permission to be adopted. My son agreed to adoption, my daughter did not. It is NO ONE’S business whether I adopt or not. I strongly object to MY CHILDREN’S lives being discussed by someone who caused great harm, then and now, to our family. I am an adoptive mother. Birth certificates and identity were NEVER an issue within my family, it is only an issue to this author. She has no respec for the rights of people who adopt, like myself..
gert mcqueen I am in favor of open adoption records for health and medical reasons and for later in adult life. I am a pro-adoption person. I am a adopted mother; my 2nd husband and I adopted my own child, who has both birthcertificates and never had an issue with being adopted or change in name. But my parental rights were violated and my minor children alienated due to the militant actions of this angry adoptee.When I told her to butt out, she called 2 separate child abuse reports upon me; proven false.
While there are right ways of getting attention to this issue, if it ought to be changed, there ALSO are wrong ways, which include browbeating and harassing people who CHOOSE to adopt, as I did. This author has advocated, on Twitter, the blowing up of government offices of Vital Statics, at a Adoption Conference April 2013, as a means of getting attention to her activism: FBI was notified.
This author is only a paper social worker, has never held a job as a social worker and has been on disability for many years. To gain fame and fortune, she wrote a libelous book, Forbidden Family, pulled from publication, in May 2011, after the birth family provided evidence to the publisher. Any further books, she may publish, will be looked at very closely again by members of the birth family. I do wish she would stop misrepresenting my family to promote her misguidedness and anger over her placement into adoption. It is too bad that she had a bad childhood but that does not mean she has a right to continue to malign OUR family’s name and honor
Ruth Herr Sippel Pace “forced closed adoption?” closed, yes – forced? It was done out of necessity. I am a birth sister of Ms. Wheeler. Mom died in 1956 at the age of 30 leaving four little kids ages 3 – 9, and a 3 month old infant. My paternal grandparents were elderly, Grams worked outside of the home, Gramps had one leg. They could not take care of 5 little kids, one, a newborn.Other relatives tried to help out, but they also couldn’t take care of a newborn. A couple of my maternal aunts also had newborns and toddlers at home. Money was tight. In 1956, there was no welfare as we know it today. Dad worked for the city in City Hall. He had to work. So he made the decision to relinguish his youngest child for adoption to a childless couple who raised Ms. Wheeler in the suburbs as an only child. Or did Ms. Wheeler want to be lay unattended in a crib all day while her father worked? I am not disputing any statement Ms. Wheeler has in regards to birth and adoption documentation. In fact, I support it. I just wish Ms. Wheeler would stop misrepresenting my father, my family, and the circumstances of her birth, the death of her mother, and her adoption.
Be warned. Wheeler’s hateful book about her adoption was pulled from publication due to slander and libel.
gert mcqueen Guest
the publisher’s lawyers deemed that content of the book was indeed libelous. Regardless of ‘point of view’ the book Forbidden Family does not exist.http:/Evidence sent to Trafford Publications which resulted in the pulling of the book Forbidden Family
by Joan Wheeler – Part 1
mithogo please feel free to contact me via my facebook. in private if you like.
yes, her book was pulled because just ONE of the slanderous statements Ms. Wheeler made was that I have a criminal record. Documents were sent to the publisher, Trafford. Their legal department determined that Ms. Wheeler did commit libel against me and violated the terms of the contract she signed with them. That the book was truthful, and she was the sole copyright owner of the book and all its contents. Ms. Wheeler published a family portrait that was taken before she was born of my father, my mother, me, and my three siblings. Of the six people in the portrait, there were four living persons at the time of the publication of this book, none of whom gave permission for Ms. Wheeler to use their likeness as a means of monetary gain for Ms. Wheeler. The book was not a means of any sort of adoption reform. Ms. Wheeler went out of her way to trash and damage the reputations of many people – those who ever disagreed with her or angered her in her life. She called me Brenda in the book, yet left many references for readers to learn my real name. Almost every other page was “Brenda this, Brenda that.” “It was just as well Brenda didn’t have any kids…” this AFTER I endured a miscarriage, and am childless.
The book was more about throwing hate at me, than adoption reform.
my blog at http://ruthsippelpace.wordpres… chronicles the many abuses and harassments that I, and my family have endured because of this self-labeled “angry adoptee.”
as well as mine http://gertmcqueen.wordpress.c…
end of CURRENT comments…I’m sure that more and more adoption reform advocates are pulling farther and farther away from Joan Wheeler…we can only hope.