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Joan Wheeler, along with others, engage in cyber-bullying and harassing adopted parents!

by on February 10, 2014

They call themselves a support group, describing themselves as advocating for change! It doesn’t matter whether Joan is ACTIVE in this group or not. Joan continues with this type of behavior while disguising herself as a ‘social worker’. Sure, she has a degree, but she’s never held a job in the field. She is currently doing ‘on-line’ therapy! So, if you are anyone else, happen to have a run-in with Joan, know that this is her MO…this is how she works.

It is an oxymoron statement, that a public forum and Joan Wheeler herself, state that they advocate for change. There is NO change that they are facilitating and the only thing they are advocating is that of bullying and harassing people who don’t agree with them. It needs to be remembered that it was this same forum and group of adoptees that Joan enlisted to come over to Ruth’s blog to ‘get’ us birth siblings. (Gert did not have a blog at that time)

In September 2010, Joan Wheeler and the Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change, had a thread. The entire ‘discussion’ isn’t relative here…we are only interested in exposing Joan Wheeler’s negative, hateful, bullying behavior. But, the thread was generated by Mara, who went searching for a relative on  www.parkerheritage.com/   and there, had a discussion with a Brandy Thomas. When Brandy said something to Mara, that she didn’t like, Mara went off on her. Then Mara went back onto the public forum to tell these ‘adoptees advocating for change’ and…well you can read it @ the parker site and some of it here, as well as what Joan Wheeler said in her bullying of Brandy. Of course Joan had NOTHING to do with the site, or Brandy, Joan just went out there to beat Brandy up for Mara! So here is part of the thread…and my comments, which are marked here within the thread but were NOT on the forum itself.

The thread topic on the forum read…You Have Got To Read What This B*tch Just Wrote To Me…and I only found a certain portion of it. There were those ’emotions’ which came through only with words…which speak for themselves.

<< < (5/7) > >>

1adoptee:

Seeing how the post by the ignorant one is on a topic of family research and not adoption, would it be okay for us to take our enriching comments here, and go and join the website where this ignoramus posted and post our enlightening comments there? We are sounding off to each other here, but what is needed is that we all march over to log in over there!!!! :gottabat2: :punch: :stirpot: and keep the discussion going :blahblah: so that idiot might learn a thing or two. :duh: I’m gonna log in now. See ya there!!! :triadsupport:

Gert’s comments: So Joan admits that the post (in question) is about family research and not adoption, she is ‘asking’ the group, on the forum, if they should butt it! This is true Joan Wheeler behavior! Notice the name-calling and belittling and the smug self-righteousness of Joan who says…a writer, on the family research site, is an ignoramus! But Joan, and these adoptees, have enlightening opinions and they should march over there and bat, punch, stir the pot and keep the discussion going….WHY…so that the idiot might learn a thing or two! And then Joan attempts to rally the troops to follow her! Yep, and Joan NEVER does anything harmful to anyone! Joan has done this type of bullying interference within someone else business/life before. This is all she knows. She thinks it is her RIGHT to browbeat the other person, if they don’t agree with her. And, then if the other person refuses to be intimidated by her, she will then find ways of getting others to help her or she will start some sneaky under the table things to get at you. Yes, the birth family knows all of Joan’s nasty tricks and here we see it in action!

Back to the forum thread where we hear from…

M6:  Oh no Brandy, watch out! Joan’s on the loose. I wonder if their ears are ringing…

To which Joan replies…

1adoptee:
:rotfl: :spewing:
Yep! I’m on the loose!
Here’s my contribution to the Parker website and to Brandy:

Gert’s comment: I interrupt Joan’s post, here on the forum, to point out and show how PROUD Joan is! All Joan needs is a LITTLE support and she is off bullying and harassing someone because they are ignorant of and not in agreement of Joan’s views. Now, instead of showing what she posted, here on the forum, I post what she posted on the family research site. I shall have additional comments at the end…

Joan Wheeler born Doris Sippel replied to Mara Parker’s discussion ‘Do You Know A 65ish William (Bill) Parker?

Reply by Joan Wheeler born Doris Sippel on September 23, 2010 at 5:25pm

Brandy, is this a website for family heritage? Yes, it is. Anyone who is looking for a family connection to the Parker name is welcome here. While I do not have a family connection to this name, I do have an interest in correcting you on your misguided notions about adoption.

Sealed birth certificates prevent adoptees from knowing their true genealogical heritage. As you know, genealogical lines can only be traced by following blood lines, not adopted lines.

Unsealing all adoptees’ original birth certificates is necessary for an adoptee to claim bloodline and trace mother, father, grandparents, etc. What you are saying goes against the basic understanding of tracing family ancestry. You can’t have it both ways – be for tracing your family history and sealing birth records – because, as you say: “if the people who gave me up for adoption went as far as having records permanently sealed so I could not contact or find them, are they really someone I want to contact???”

What you are expressing is an angry response to the supposed natural parents’ actions (correction – the State seals the records, not the parents) and your opinion of what an adoptee’s outlook “should” be.

Tracing family ancestry begins with birth and death records and maybe, maybe, a person will want to contact the relatives revealed on the documents.

BTW, telling stories of two friends of yours does nothing to substantiate your claim. You can address adoption issues with authority only if you are an adoptee.

As my sign-in name indicates, I was born with one name and adopted as another. I have two birth certificates, one was sealed upon the finalization of my adoption, the other was created by falsifying facts at the finalization of my adoption. My new birth certificate states that an infertile woman gave birth to me in the exact hospital and at the exact time of my actual birth via my real mother. My real mother died three months later. Her grieving husband was talked into giving me up for adoption and keeping his other four kids (that dispels the myth that adoption is only for illegitimates).

Though I know all of this, my birth certificate is still sealed by NYS. When this injustice happens to you, you want the right to genealogy, just like everyone else.

I’ve been at this for 36 years. I know what I’m talking about. How many years have you been telling adoptees what to do?

Gert’s comments: Joan’s words are now in italic

While I do not have a family connection to this name, I do have an interest in correcting you on your misguided notions about adoption.

Joan admits, that she has no connection to this site and her only interest and purpose is to CORRECT the MISGUIDED notions about adoption! Okay, correct the misunderstand NOT the misguided notion, these are two very different things, but, Joan only knows confrontational style of discourse. By doing so, she at once, placed herself in an adversary position and the other person is now on guard and has ‘tuned’ Joan off and has viewed her as an unfriendly hostile. Joan really does need to learn how to debate issues and influence people. Bullying, browbeating and harassing are not suitable tactics in getting any positive change on anything…no wonder those adoptees are NOT changing anything. You would think that she would notice, after years of doing this kind of behavior, that AFTER she browbeats, there is little to no feedback or further comments.

You can’t have it both ways – be for tracing your family history and sealing birth records

Joan is the ONLY person that can have things BOTH WAYS. What would have been better here, in this discussion, is for Joan to JUST point out that the state seals the records and that that fact should be considered when doing family history research. Simple, no problem and non-confrontational. But not Joan’s style. Who lost here…Brandy or Joan? Certainly NOT Brandy because she will never listen to anyone who speaks to her like Joan has done. But, Joan thinks that she won because she told Brandy the way it is! Wrong!! Sure way to win friends!

What you are expressing is an angry response to the supposed natural parents’ actions (correction – the State seals the records, not the parents) and your opinion of what an adoptee’s outlook “should” be.

So again, NO ONE ELSE, but Joan, is allowed an angry response! And NO ONE ELSE is allowed to voice their OPINION about what an adoptee should be! ONLY Joan is allowed, because she is the adoptee, to KNOW ANYTHING about adoption, even a wrong or uninformed knowledge or opinion…because Joan is the adoptee and an angry one at that!

BTW, telling stories of two friends of yours does nothing to substantiate your claim. You can address adoption issues with authority only if you are an adoptee.

Joan is the ONLY one who can tell, retell, and continue to retell…stories told to her by the adoptive parents that are lies against the birth family! Joan is the only one who uses HEARSAY to substantiate most, if not all, of her claims. So why is Joan badgering this woman for doing the same thing that she does? I hate to break the news to Joan, but adoptees do NOT have a claim to have the truth about adoption. What Joan is thinking and saying is the same thing that the Catholic Church has said …that they HOLD the only truth. And Joan hates the Church so why does she use their tactics? Because Joan is a bully!

As my sign-in name indicates, I was born with one name and adopted as another.

This is what we, the birth siblings, mean about how Joan is exploiting our family’s history and honor! Her constant use of using our family against innocent people who are pro-adoptive is exploiting us and our dead mother and father!

I’ve been at this for 36 years. I know what I’m talking about. How many years have you been telling adoptees what to do?

So Joan has been doing the wrong thing for 36 plus years! That does not mean that she knows what she is talking about! Doing the wrong thing for years or just because ‘everyone is doing it’ does not make it right! On the contrary, Joan knows NOT what she is talking about. Every time she opens her mouth she shows the world just what kind of a fool she is. By exposing all of Joan bullying and browbeating, we are pushing Joan’s face in her own shit.

She then ends her comment with an insult…nice going! That’s typical Joan Wheeler behavior!

So how is the re-education, by bullying, going out there, Joan? Make any new converts to your cause, or are you just finding more people to beat up because they don’t’ see your viewpoint? Or maybe people are finally turning their backs on you cause your name Joan Wheeler is garbage!

Ruth

Gert says: “So again, NO ONE ELSE, but Joan, is allowed an angry response! And NO ONE ELSE is allowed to voice their OPINION about what an adoptee should be! ONLY Joan is allowed, because she is the adoptee, to KNOW ANYTHING about adoption, even a wrong or uninformed knowledge or opinion…because Joan is the adoptee and an angry one at that!

Right you are Gert. And not just on the internet or about adoption!  In her personal life, when Joan doesn’t like something, be it about a costume a dancer is wearing or a costume in a movie, Joan gives HER expert opinion and if you dare disagree with her, she will start screaming at you that you are wrong, wrong, wrong.

If you are standing in front of her, you will do anything to stop her screeching that hurts your ears – so you may just agree with her – just to shut her up. If you’re on the phone, you might hang up on her – again to stop the screeching. OR SHE MAY HANG UP ON YOU – because it SILENCES you. – That’s her favorite ploy – ONLY JOAN CAN HAVE A SAY IN ANYTHING – and she will shut you up – either by hanging up on you – or screeching at you to the point you just shut up.

But she can’t shut me up now – that’s why I LOVE THE INTERNET.

  • Gert says: “Joan is the ONLY person that can have things BOTH WAYS.” Yes, that is sooo true. Gert’s post outlines how Joan gets on a website and pulls the focus of a discussion. To reiterate: JOAN goes to a website and pulls the focus. BUT just last month – in response to an article Joan had published on The Buffalo News website, I made ONE respectful comment – correcting Joan’s statement that her adoption was “forced.” I said it was done out of necessity. Meanwhile, an acquaintance of Joan’s, a musician in a band that performs at a bar that Joan frequently goes to, posted his own comment that warned readers that Joan’s book was pulled because of libel. Joan got pissed and started the name-calling and insults and mud-slinging. She accused her birth sisters (me and Gert and Kathy, altho Kathy wasn’t even involved) of pulling the focus of the intent of her article. (she didn’t use those words but that’s what she meant – and instead of using those intelligent words, she started with the name-calling, the insults, the false accusations).

    I have said it repeatedly on this blog, and my blog – that Joan is a hypocrite as well as a liar. “Joan is the ONLY person that can have things BOTH WAYS.” – Joan is a control freak, a dictator. Control freak – I’ve said that many times on my blog in the past. And in late December 2013, on twitter, where Joan is going off on a tangent – ranting and raving over the latest breakup of her latest boyfriend she said he accused her of being a “control freak.” She been told that many times over many years – you’d think she’d get the message. – No, she’s too damn busy being the control freak, and walking all over people – in person and on the internet – to get the fact that she IS an idiot.

    well, now, Gert writes a blog post about how Joan is a cyberbully, goes on websites and bullies and insults those who don’t think like her, and what happens? – yep – just hours after Gert publishes her blog post Joan does it again.

    https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10152210282358276&set=a.10150933670333276.443522.87263773275&type=1

    Joan M Wheeler Hey you morons over here, listen up. UNTIL one of you “pregnant on paper” girls actually goes through morning sickness, dizzieness, fainting spells, labor pains, panic over not feeling the baby kick, you have no idea what you are talking about! This page is insulting to all mothers who have children the normal way.. let alone a mother who adopts or a mother who loses her newborn to adoption. This is so degrading. My natural mother was very sick while pregnant with me. The hormones of pregnancy actually speeded up her cancer. I was born two months premature. She died three months later. My mother gave her LIFE for me! And you people here make a joke out of pregnancy! And my adoptive mother sadly expressed how dearly she wanted to be pregnant but couldn’t. She regretted it. You girls have much to learn.

    and someone answered Joan:

    Sarah Mary I definitely see a moron on this thread and it’s you.

    roflmao!

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5 Comments
  1. Gert says:
    “So again, NO ONE ELSE, but Joan, is allowed an angry response! And NO ONE ELSE is allowed to voice their OPINION about what an adoptee should be! ONLY Joan is allowed, because she is the adoptee, to KNOW ANYTHING about adoption, even a wrong or uninformed knowledge or opinion…because Joan is the adoptee and an angry one at that!

    Right you are Gert.
    And not just on the internet or about adoption! In her personal life, when Joan doesn’t like something, be it about a costume a dancer is wearing or a costume in a movie, Joan gives HER expert opinion and if you dare disagree with her, she will start screaming at you that you are wrong, wrong, wrong.

    If you are standing in front of her, you will do anything to stop her screeching that hurts your ears – so you may just agree with her – just to shut her up. If you’re on the phone, you might hang up on her – again to stop the screeching. OR SHE MAY HANG UP ON YOU – because it SILENCES you. – That’s her favorite ploy – ONLY JOAN CAN HAVE A SAY IN ANYTHING – and she will shut you up – either by hanging up on you – or screeching at you to the point you just shut up.

    But she can’t shut me up now – that’s why I LOVE THE INTERNET.

  2. Gert says:
    “Joan is the ONLY person that can have things BOTH WAYS.”
    Yes, that is sooo true. Gert’s post outlines how Joan gets on a website and pulls the focus of a discussion. To reiterate: JOAN goes to a website and pulls the focus.
    BUT just last month – in response to an article Joan had published on The Buffalo News website, I made ONE respectful comment – correcting Joan’s statement that her adoption was “forced.” I said it was done out of necessity. Meanwhile, an acquaintance of Joan’s, a musician in a band that performs at a bar that Joan frequently goes to, posted his own comment that warned readers that Joan’s book was pulled because of libel. Joan got pissed and started the name-calling and insults and mud-slinging. She accused her birth sisters (me and Gert and Kathy, altho Kathy wasn’t even involved) of pulling the focus of the intent of her article. (she didn’t use those words but that’s what she meant – and instead of using those intelligent words, she started with the name-calling, the insults, the false accusations).

    I have said it repeatedly on this blog, and my blog – that Joan is a hypocrite as well as a liar.
    “Joan is the ONLY person that can have things BOTH WAYS.” – Joan is a control freak, a dictator.
    Control freak – I’ve said that many times on my blog in the past. And in late December 2013, on twitter, where Joan is going off on a tangent – ranting and raving over the latest breakup of her latest boyfriend she said he accused her of being a “control freak.” She been told that many times over many years – you’d think she’d get the message. – No, she’s too damn busy being the control freak, and walking all over people – in person and on the internet – to get the fact that she IS an idiot.

  3. well, now, Gert writes a blog post about how Joan is a cyberbully, goes on websites and bullies and insults those who don’t think like her, and what happens? – yep – just hours after Gert publishes her blog post Joan does it again.

    Joan M Wheeler Hey you morons over here, listen up. UNTIL one of you “pregnant on paper” girls actually goes through morning sickness, dizzieness, fainting spells, labor pains, panic over not feeling the baby kick, you have no idea what you are talking about! This page is insulting to all mothers who have children the normal way.. let alone a mother who adopts or a mother who loses her newborn to adoption. This is so degrading. My natural mother was very sick while pregnant with me. The hormones of pregnancy actually speeded up her cancer. I was born two months premature. She died three months later. My mother gave her LIFE for me! And you people here make a joke out of pregnancy! And my adoptive mother sadly expressed how dearly she wanted to be pregnant but couldn’t. She regretted it. You girls have much to learn.

    and someone answered Joan:

    Sarah Mary I definitely see a moron on this thread and it’s you.

    roflmao!

  4. Reblogged this on Refuting a Book of Lies: Forbidden Family — and commented:

    another example of Joan Wheeler ‘basic character’ and her BULLYING of others.

Trackbacks & Pingbacks

  1. evidence that Joan Wheeler is herself a cyberbully | Refuting a Book of Lies: Forbidden Family --

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