abuser, adoption reunions, Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, browbeating people over adoption, browbeating to get your own way, bullying, call to arms, change your life, confrontations with Joan Wheeler, Duped by Adoption, Forbidden Family a book of lies, intimidation, life of woe and hardship, narcissistic, playing the sympathy card, shock and awe, sins of omission and suppress of one's own misdeeds, writing from memory
“Adoption crap just doesn’t stop!” says #JoanWheeler
Gosh it must be terrible to always have ‘crap’ in one’s face! Doesn’t she have any soap and water to get that ‘crap’ off her face and out of her life?
I have a personal philosophy: if I’m miserable, doing something, or thinking about something, why am I doing it or thinking of it? And then I drop that miserable whatever! There’s enough general pain and anguish in life as it is, so why not dump the crap and move on to more pleasant things. Hanging on to negative thoughts and actions will only make a person sick and old before their time! Looking at Joan Wheeler’s profile picture I can see just how sick and old she is, today, long before her time.
But, you know the adage; you can lead a horse to water…but you can’t make him drink…even if he’s dying of thirst! Make no mistake, Joan is dying because she will NOT let go of her anger and hate and drink the waters of life.
Recently, May 16, 2014, I was shown some ‘new’ comments by Joan on her Facebook page. She sure likes to suffer! Her comments that follow are in italics…mine are in normal typeface.
I’ve noticed that Joan LOVES to point out various aspects of her life of WOE and HARDSHIP, trying to elicit sympathy; she craves it and will gravel to gain it!
In the following comment, she had just given praise for some adoption reform event and then right on the heels of that followed it up with…
I would have been there had it not been for personal problems
Translation: see, it’s these personal problems that are stopping me! Pity me I have so many problems!
Then, on another thread, she goes on a rampage, her usual mode of operation, combining her disgust on, and about, something positive about adoption. Heaven forbid that ANYONE would think that there is anything POSITIVE about adoption! You’ll get the gist of it and see how Joan uses her ‘outrage’ to ‘browbeat’ yet another innocent person! Joan’s philosophy is to ‘reach out and touch and educate (read intimidate) every individual she encounters to the evils of adoption’. There are several problems with that approach, of course, but mostly when Joan does this she has NO IDEA that people see her as a NUT CASE.
Adoption crap just doesn’t stop.
I showed up at my doctor’s office for a check up today. As the receptionist checks me in, I notice her lovely heart shaped necklace. I asked her what it was since I had never seen such an intricate diamond necklace. She said it was Jane Seymore’s Open Heart necklace.
I immediately froze up, recalling the fiasco of this past Feb over that disgusting TV commercial in the hospital showing the door of the delivery room, the nurse bringing a newborn to a waiting couple, and the husband giving his wife the necklace, saying, “Gee, hon, we are now adoptive parents.”
I, Gert, interrupt this tale to point out Joan’s hyper state of awareness to ANYTHING positive to adoption, she froze up and is high alert stage! Continuing on…
I told the receptionist I, along with thousands of adoption activists, are boycotting Jane Seymore and Kay Jewelers. I told her the story. As the receptionists listened, I told her how we are insulted by this TV commercial and the commodification of babies and mothers. I then pulled up my Broken Heart Adoption Necklace from …. and told her that I was one of the first people to buy it. (How are sales going, Tracy?)
Gert interrupting the story again…where DOES Joan get $$$ to go to conventions and purchase jewelry? She’s on NY State disability! Working the system, she must be! Notice how Joan goes right for the jugger vein? She doesn’t care that the receptionist is just a receptionist doing her job! Joan has a ‘captive audience’, the poor receptionist probably wanted to tell Joan to shut up!
The receptionist got her education today! She was in shock. Good. Another non-adopted person to learn the truth of adoption.
That’s all Joan cares about, shocking people and force feeding them the ‘truth’ about adoption.
The good news: she listened! She understood! One more person awakened.
Joan loves the shock and awe approach blind-siding people. Of course Joan is blind herself for she assumes that she did a good deed that the woman WANTED to listen to her and that she UNDERSTOOD and became AWAKENED! Savior Joan Wheeler strikes again with her own brand of GOOD NEWS. Joan is like one of those religious fundamentalists that she rails against! Joan just switched adoption with religion! Same BS, same tactics!
Anyone care to post the links to the great articles written about that disgusting commercial? We need to liven up the comment sections again.
By all means, call in the troops, go after innocent people who adopt. General Joan Wheeler taking full command of the hordes of angry adoptees!
Seems to me that Joan only ‘feels’ alive when she can sink her teeth into her anger and hate over adoption. She acts like an ‘addict’ looking for her next fix, as in this comment…
I feel the need for some lovin, adoption reform style! Snark, much?
And this comment…
What the hell is/was the story on “the adoption lynch mob needs to take a chill pill”? Damn, I missed a good one! Linky Please! I feel the need for some S and M tonight, adoption reform style, that is!
Gert here again; Joan probably was in one of her ‘depressive’ moods; she is after all bipolar. And now she’s emerged into her manic mood! For obviously she is so excited that she is ‘wetting her pants’, ‘chopping at the bit’, because she missed a good story where she could have applied her skills of browbeating, insulting and intimidation! She WANTS a link! She NEEDS S and M! I’ve said this many times before, Joan is into inflicting pain onto others and herself; that’s what makes her alive.
here’s the link in case anyone is interested…
Then there’s this goodie, where she attempts, again, to browbeat and MAKE the other person wrong for their opinion/choice. According to Joan, NO adoption is right and it should be abolished. There is no other position. Joan will make dam sure that everyone gets it, her position, and right up close and in your face. Anyone and everyone who adopts are WRONG. Joan will go to the ends of the earth to make sure they all know it.
Every adoption is different, and, from my won experience, and other reformists, gay men and lesbians can be well-meaning, but also niave. And some are selfish, just as any other adoptive parent. We reformists, or abolitionists, take the stand that NO adoption is best! Here’s why: you can achieve the same thing (provide a loving home to a child who needs a home) without striping the child of her or his birth certificate for life. And taking away the family of birth for life. Legal Guardianship provides for a legal relationship between the adults who will care for the child and the child, but will retain the child’s name of birth and place within the family of birth. In the situation you describe, when a mother does not want to be a parent, she can lose custody (as in a divorce or foster care), but she is still the child’s mother. This is best for the child’s self identity. And self esteem. I don’t know Dan as well as you do, and I now see why he jumped at me that time at Panera’s. He’s a sensitive gay man who thinks I’ll try to take away his gay rights. Nothing could be further from the truth. I respect gays and lesbians rights. But, when two Dads or two Moms want to be named on a new, amended, birth certificate created upon adoption, that is just ridiculous. The “right” to adopt, should not mean to further confuse the child! A child knows it takes one egg and one sperm to make a baby — and any two parents of the same gender who insist on being named on a new FALSIFIED birth certificate are not only lying, but insisting on making a deeper falsehood than when two heterosexuals adopt a stranger’s child. This is very complex. …So, I mean no disrespect to Dan and his husband, or to the adoptee. Keep in mind, I’ve been at this for 40 years. Seen and heard it all. In the end, the adoptee suffers. …The mother of Dan’s adoptee needs serious help. She is beyond reasoning. But to deny the truth of who is the mother while pretending two fathers created the adoptee by this could all back fire someday. …Thank you for reading and communicating!!!
Even Open Adoptions stink! Open adoptions still result in the adoptee’s birth certificate sealed by the state, and a false one issued to replace it.
Gert …yep even open adoption is no good for Joan! She also doesn’t like, nor accept, ‘step-parent’ adoption, like what I did with my second husband. In my case Joan interfered with my parental rights and when I would NOT listen to her she called false child abuse on me, twice.
Joan is stuck on ‘false’ documents. She doesn’t care about human beings nor their rights! She doesn’t see any ‘need’ for humans to be adopted. All she sees is that adoption results in a false document. She does NOT accept that there is a need for that. Even WHEN the laws change, to allow medical history and identity known to an adoptee, Joan will NOT be satisfied! She must eradicate all false birth certificates!
And, as seen in the following comment, when someone, anyone, DIFFERS in opinion or STATES that they FEEL they are being attack, because they see the issue differently, Joan just continues on with her observations, opinions and diagnosis, of those that do not see adoption in the same way as she does. Joan must make everyone think like herself.
We’re not attacking you!!! You are the one asking, so it will be hard listening to all the anger and hurt that adoption caused us. I will say this, that evening I met all of you at Panera’s, I was new to that group (still interested, just busy). I felt something was up with Dan the way he reacted to me when I said I was writing a book about my adoption-reunion. We are all experts at our own lives, that’s for sure. I had no idea Dan wrote a book! Fabulous! I’ll have to get it! No matter how much an author tries to make a manuscript feel good to all people involved,, it just won’t happen. Famikly members are going to be upset, no matter what. And Ii will try to calm him down next time I see him! Friends, right!? He’s on the defensive. He’s okay. As long as he’s willing to listen to how an adoptee feels.
We’re not attacking you!!!
Gert … The ‘we’ are Joan, and other adoptees, attempting (forcing) their views upon another. Joan does NOT see that she is indeed attacking the other. Joan has no conception of how true conversations and debates work; the give and take of ‘facts’ and ‘point counter-point’ versus ‘opinions that must be accepted’ and agreeing to disagree! Joan MUST have the upper hand and MUST make sure the other ACCEPTS her opinion. Joan is a fundamentalist and a fanatic!
We are all experts at our own lives, that’s for sure.
Gert…Well then, if that statement is correct, why did she write about my life, my children’s lives, my siblings’ lives, my parents’ lives and others’ lives and CLAIM that her VIEW is a truthful account? No, Joan is blowing smoke up every one’s ass! Joan’s view, her perceptions are the ONLY expert opinion that counts, in her mind.
Famikly members are going to be upset, no matter what
Gert…Well if one KNOWS this, then they should use discretion and be sensitive to family members, but NO, Joan has no feelings for anyone but herself! All she cares about is her views and feelings and she shall have the only right to expression.
will try to calm him down next time I see him! Friends, right!? He’s on the defensive.
Gert…OH so Joan the great social worker will ‘calm him down’! And what if he doesn’t want her interference/intervention? She’s done this many times! She knows what everyone else NEEDS. I, and other family members, have been on the receiving end of Joan helpfulness!
Then she throws out the carrot, to whom she is talking; we still are ‘FRIENDS’, right…meaning, she just turned the tables on the person! That’s a diffusion tactic! Right after she insults the intelligence of the person she’s talking to, she indicates they are still ‘friends’ and IF the other says NO WE ARE NOT, then Joan has that individual by the balls! Oh Joan is GOOD, good at projecting a lot of bullshit!
Also notice how she PROCLAIMS that the person they are talking about is ON THE DEFENSIVE! How can Joan KNOW this? Because she’s a master at diagnosing the inner workings of everyone but herself!
He’s okay. As long as he’s willing to listen to how an adoptee feels.
Gert…Sure, he is okay! He’s being held hostage by Joan! He either listens to how an adoptee FEELS or he becomes an enemy! What a bargain!
Yep, Joan has all the tricks mastered.
Gert here…Nov 15, 2015
just a reminder for new readers…Joan published a revision of her book AGAIN
I have created a new blog and a Facebook page to address this newest crap…
check them out.