a dead no-body, abuser, adoptee speak, adoption reform, adoption reunions, Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, bullying, confrontations with Joan Wheeler, contempt and arrogance, exploiting a dying dead mother, family honor, how not to be a social-worker, lack of self-worth, libelous book, mental illness, parental rights violated, promoting libelous book, sins of omission and suppress of one's own misdeeds, what if I'm pro-adoption
Collective wisdoms?? of #JoanWheeler, an angry #adoptee!
There are many things that Joan has articulated that provides a good look at her way of thinking and, in some cases, how she lives. I’ve come across many ‘gems’ that, by themselves, didn’t warrant an entire blog post, but collectively they are interesting. In the following, Joan is using either, 1adoptee or Joan M Wheeler, born as, Doris M Sippel; just 2 of her many ‘screen names’. Joan’s spelling errors are NOT corrected.
My comments will be marked as GM>>
#1 From the forum of Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change Post by: 1adoptee on September 22, 2010, 10:08:38 PM It is always the “friend” of an adoptee who knows the “right” answer! The ignorant have the biggest mouths.
GM>> This two-liner shows contempt and arrogance, qualities that Joan has abundance of. Apparently, even a ‘friend’ can’t have the ‘right’ answer when talking with an adoptee. We know that some adoptees can not accept any kind of sentiment that doesn’t fit or jive with their own.
Moral here… don’t even try to offer ‘compassion’ or ‘advice’ to an adoptee for they will only feel contempt for you. For you see, to an angry adoptee, if you are NOT one, you can not know anything…you are ‘ignorant’. This fits Joan’s lack of self worth quite well, for she can be high and mightly, in her self knowledge that those ‘others’ with the ‘big mouths’ are just plain ignorant. In her mind, there are NO other opinions but hers.
#2 From Sept/Oct 2009 (I didn’t grab the entire dates) on this website: motherhooddeleted.blogspot.com we find the following three comments, from Joan.
Joan M Wheeler, born as, Doris M Sippel said… Great blog. The need for commentors here is acknowledged! I’ll be back, for sure! This post is extreemly important to read, especially from a mother of loss. Identity is so very important, our roots, our names, come from our parents, our creators. Please stop by my new website and blog, which is in the beginning stages, so I could use a few visitors and comments, too. Sadly, the look may change as the webhost is soon changing format, but this one is more secure. 8:25 PM Sept 2009
GM>> First we see the ‘adoptee speak’; not meaning to be disrespectful here, but from what I’ve observed, whenever someone who is NOT an adoptee and speaks about the same topics (identity, roots, names, parents/creators, etc) we are treated with total contempt and anger. How dare a non-adoptee talk with an adoptee about ‘our’ point of view! As a mother who adopted my own son and was harmed by Joan Wheeler’s anti-adoption position, I feel my opinions matter a great deal!
The most important aspect of this comment is the the last 2 sentences. This was JUST BEFORE the publication of the libelous book, when Joan was PROMOTING it, and herself, far and wide. From what she says here, she was expecting some changes in her blog! Interesting isn’t it, for this was also around the time that Joan BELIEVED that we birthsiblings were complaining about her blog. I for one didn’t even have Joan on my radar, to me she was already a dead no-body! During this time period Sept/Oct 2009 I was in the process of MOVING. I didn’t know she published a book, libelous at that, until Dec 2009 and didn’t get a copy of it until Feb 2010. So yes, Joan was promoting a libelous book that she knew would draw the attention of the birth family to it and her!
see this blog post..
The Yom Kippur Affair of Octobr 2009 – Joan Wheeler twists the meaning of Yom Kippur, gets herself in trouble with her bloghost, then blames her birth sisters for her own ignorance. (what else is new?) on July 16, 2012
So, here, we finally SEE, in Joan’s own words, on another web blog, in Sept 2009, that Joan was expecting some changes in her webhost and yet, in Oct 2009, she ‘let’s the cat out of the bag’ when she speaks, at first unknowningly, with her own sister and…well you will have to read the account of the whole ‘affair’ @ the site above.
#3 Joan M Wheeler, born as, Doris M Sippel said… Hope by now your pet is home and doing better. My daughter (age 22) came home last night with a sick kitten. A friend of a friend of a friend gave the kitten to her father who didn’t want a sick kitten so my daughter brought her home. In a carrying cage, with food and no litter. What a mess. They just left for the SPCA. I feel so sad to say no, that we can’t afford a pet. We can’t afford to live now, anyway. But we really would feel better to have a pet. Our rabbit died last winter, so we’ve been sad. Not having enough money to buy ourselves food means we cannot take care of a pet. It’s not the same thing as the loss of a child to adoption. I wish all people could have a sense of that loss so they wouldn’t encourage permanent separation of mother and child. It is so cruel. 1:37 PM 2009
GM>>Now here we get a ‘peek’ into the home-life of Joan! This is 2009, just before the publication of the libelous book, that was going to make Joan Wheeler a multi-millionaire, from book sales and a movie deal! She’s been on state disability for years, her daughter lived with her and helped support her and she was going to ‘get even’ with everyone in 2 families and others that ever ‘hurt’ her! Here, she’s promoting her book and attempting to ‘make a name’ for herself, with those on the internet that have NO IDEA about her. Self-promotion has a way of back-firing! That book no longer exists.
Anyway, Joan doesn’t just say ‘a friend’ she has to point out ‘a friend’ 3 times removed! Those are NOT friends, they are, at best, acquaintances! Joan will NOT use the term ‘acquaintance’ because ‘friend’ sounds better, as in a closer relationship. I have many ‘acquaintances’ and I’m not bothered by calling them that! Acquaintances are a ‘dime a dozen’! Friends are worth a lot more. The acquaintance just wanted to get rid of a kitten! No real friend, who knew Joan’s circumstances, would have burdened her with another life to care of. Seems as if a 22 year old, who knows that her mother can’t afford to keep a cat would have known better, but, perhaps Joan’s daughter NEEDED some loving from a living being, such as a cat!
Joan is ‘so sad’, she can’t ‘afford a pet’, doesn’t have ‘enough money to buy ourselves food’…she is SO SAD…she is always sad! And then she gets to the POINT…’It’s not the same thing as the loss of a child to adoption. I wish all people could have a sense of that loss so they wouldn’t encourage permanent separation of mother and child. It is so cruel’
How did we go from a kitten you can’t afford to the sense of loss of adoption? When you are Joan Wheeler, everything…EVERYTHING…eventually comes down to the loss of adoption! She just can’t see anything in life as joyful because she is so so sad because of her adoption! And that includes ‘close male friends’! As soon as she gets one, it only takes a few weeks before the male, that she picked, shows his abusive nature, or, she shows her own abusive nature and they split up. She must have gone through about 4 or 5 males since she wrote this in 2009! It’s 2014 now.
#4 Joan M Wheeler, born as, Doris M Sippel said… Congrats! This is a beautifully, wonderful view of the inside! Conception and pregnancy are fascinating to “look into”. I think everyone who wants to adopt ought to be forced (mandatory counseling)into viewing videos of a growing fetus, and the birth process, and breastfeeding, so they’d think twice before they grab a new mother’s baby. You have every right to claim your spot! Blessed Be. 2:17 PM 2009
GM>>yes, the miracles of human reproduction is a wonderful beautiful thing! But, Joan sounds like one of those rabid abortion people…forcing everyone to view fetuses! She ‘think’s’!! that’s the problem, she DOESN’T think! What planet has she been living on? There is NOTHING that can be ‘forced’ and made ‘mandatory counseling’! You can make the material AVAILABLE but there is no way to make it mandatory for people to see! If someone is going to adopt they are going to adopt.
Joan is a anti-adoption nazi! She has a ‘my way or the highway’ mentality. Joan makes the mistake that EVERYONE that is adopted was GRABBED from a new mother! In Joan’s mind, there is NO REASON for a woman to give up her baby, at birth or at anytime, into adoption. There’s no gray areas in Joan’s mind, it’s all black and dark with hate and anger.
Joan’s mother, MY MOTHER, died! The only option available to MY FATHER, after his 2nd wife said NO to raising the infant, was for ADOPTION. Joan refuses to accept the circumstances surrounding her birth and placement into adoption and because of that two entire families, birth and adoptive, and many others have suffered because of Joan’s diseased mind. So much for the wisdoms from Joan Wheeler.