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Doesn’t matter what year it is, #JoanWheeler has maniacal circle thinking when it comes to #adoption.

by on August 23, 2014

And even when she has attempted to cover her tracks with aliases she can’t fool everyone!

In May 2012 I found the following tweet on Joan Wheeler@forbiddenfamily who tweeted…requesting other adoptees to chime in!

Needs Comments — I Found My Biological Parents, and Wish I Hadn’t http://www.nytimes.com/2012/05/06/mag …

I am NOT providing the entire article here only Joan’s comments along with a few responses to hers. My reasoning is simply to show Joan’s one-sided maniacal logic and to show that she isn’t making any friends out there, no matter what name she uses. Joan would NEVER allow another to speak to her as she speaks to others!

On this site Joan Wheeler is using one of her alternative names Kaykal. Comments on this site are now closed.

kaykal NYS

You’ve just set us back by feeding into public perception that adoptees’ finding their roots is not important.

Your mother suffered from her experiences. She needs compassion and education to free herself from guilt, shame, and loss.

No natural parent has any right to anonymity. Once relinquishment papers are signed, ALL rights are relinquished, including identity “privacy”.

“There was a resemblance but not much of one”. Such a dismissive attitude! Ever hear of recessive genes? Brush up on your human genetics.

So you “tracked down” your “biological” father? This terminology sets fear into the hearts and minds of adoptive parents, natural parents, and legislators everywhere. Responsible adoptees seek their roots and heritage, much like anyone who logs onto Ancestry dot com.

We also are fighting for our civil and human rights to our true birth certificates.

Your “biodad”? No, he’s your natural father. He didn’t know how to relate to you and reached out to you in the only way he knew how. But you dismissed him.

His lifestyle didn’t fit your expectations? So much for your acceptance of who he is. That tells me more of your character than his. Snob much?

You think your ambition exceeds your “modest” genetic gifts? In a blink of an eye, something could happen to the wiring in your brain, and you’d be dead. Your body IS your genetics.

It is up to each and every one of us to do in life what we will, and that, for every adoptee, is the product of both nature and nurture. May 5, 2012 at 5:50 p.m.

Now here are a few comments that show just how others think of kaykal’s (Joan Wheeler’s) maniacal thinking!

Chana Mirel Massachusetts

Goodness, kaykal, Ms. Lutz is writing about her own feelings and experiences, not yours. No one knows what her birth mother “needs”. And whether or not Lutz relates to her biological father is not for us to dissect and criticize. As for noting that she does not much physically resemble her birth mother, Lutz is just stating a fact, not being “dismissive” or showing she is ignorant about recessive genes.

I have three children by adoption and have been open with them about it since the beginning. I encourage them to talk about their adoptions and let them know that I’m there for them if they choose to search. I can help them find their birth families, but what they do with that information, and any relationships that they establish, are theirs.     May 7, 2012 at 2:49 p.m.

Earl California

I’m an adult adoptee who sought out my biological roots at age 40. I never had any issue with my parents, who raised me with love and devotion, but I did have a curiosity about my genetics.

My birth mother and I get along very well; we are both sensitive people. The same is true of her children, my half-siblings. My birth father and I get along okay, but there isn’t a connection beyond biology. But I still don’t regret knowing him.

“kaykal” is focused on the wrong party. Adoption is all about protecting the child, and the child’s needs, even when the child becomes an adult. If the adopted child chooses not to seek them out, or not to have further contact with his or her birth parents, that decision is up to the child, not to the birth parents. May 7, 2012 at 2:49 p.m.

marion new york

Responses like Kaykal’s are exactly why I have never once regretted having an abortion. I did not want an unwanted child, conceived through a birth control failure with a man I did not love, to come after me later on. I totally disagree that giving up a child for adoption means giving up your privacy rights, but I was terrified that other people would think my feelings had no value and would seek to destroy my life. If I could have guaranteed my lifetime privacy, I would have carried the fetus to term and relinquished it, along with as complete a family medical history as I could come up with. In the absence of that assurance, I chose to give myself one. The children i have now will never have to know of my youthful choice.

I have the utmost respect for those women who choose to go through pregnancy and I think that adoptees should think about the fact that they are alive because their moms did not share my feelings and really hesitate before contacting her.          May 7, 2012 at 2:46 p.m.

Patricia S. Williams St. Louis, Missouri

“ALL rights are relinquished, including identity privacy”? – kaykal, perhaps this reasoning is why so few people tend to relinquish children for adoption – opting for abortion instead. No kaykal, all rights are not relinquished – there is a bargain that is struck. “I give my child to a family desperate to have him/her – they take full responsibility for parenting and NOTHING can be demanded of me, not even my name.”         May 7, 2012 at 2:46 p.m.

Meinemo Chicago

Angry much? Blaming the author for her parents’ behaviors, criticizing her perspective on the situation and the terms she used to describe it, seems unnecessarily mean-spirited.      May 7, 2012 at 2:46 p.m.

Gert here…

Mean-spirited for sure and more! Joan Wheeler by any name is far beyond mean-spirited. Would you want Joan Wheeler to be YOUR social worker? Wonder what her new boy-friend of the year thinks of her mean-spirited nature? Just give it 6 months and he’ll be gone!

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3 Comments
  1. She’s relentless. It must be exhausting at times.

  2. She hasn’t any real life. It’s all based on and lived via her need to eliminate the institution of adoption.

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