Skip to content

An adult is as the adult/child does! #JoanWheeler, the perpetual spoiled brat of a child, wants to be known as an adult!

by on September 1, 2014

Too bad she can’t accept the LIFE she has, as an adult and thereby GET a life of an adult.

but first an update… January 2016; as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ yet again, her ‘story’, NOW called ‘duped by adoption’. There is NOTHING in it for adoption reform, for she is totally against adoption and her two families. To learn more see…

returning now to THIS POST 

I’ve had the following site, and comment of Joan’s, in my ‘waiting to be done’ folders on Joan Wheeler. For years, Joan has been all over the Internet, so there’s alot of material. And unlike her, I do have a life. So it takes time for me to get back to those folders and do my follow ups and blog posts.

Once I looked at the site, I decided to placed another comment myself. I am not including the article itself nor any other comments, just Joan’s and mine and one other. Make of it as you will and be glad that you don’t have a mentally ill person in your family!

PS I am including a couple of long comments made by Ruth because it’s IMPORTANT to remember that Joan Wheeler has a long dirty history of maliciousness towards us, the birth sisters, and anyone who does not agree with Joan.

I am an adult, not an adopted child

Submitted by 1adoptee on April 5, 2011 – 11:05am.

When an adoptee refers to himself as “an adopted child”, such as author Stephen J. Betchen did, I think that the author is not well informed. The adoption reform movement has been going strong since founded in 1953 by Jean Paton. We prefer to be referred to as “adult adoptees” so as to remind people that children do not search, adults do. And it is adoptees over legal age of adulthood who are actively trying to change laws that undermine our basic civil rights to our sealed birth certificates. Therein is another problem. Opposition to adoptees’ access to our birth certificates claims we must seek parental permission from our natural parents, and in some cases, our adoptive parents as well. This mindset is deeply rooted in the perception that adoptees should be forever seen as children in need of protection. We are young adults, middle aged and elderly citizens who want what everyone else has: the civil right to obtain our true birth certificates. Search and Reunion and relationship building are secondary to that goal.

not all adults behave as adults

Submitted by gert mcqueen on August 24, 2014 – 5:48am.

If one wishes to be seen as an adult than they should behave as an adult and not as a spoiled brat that kicks and screams to get attention and bully anyone whom doesn’t see the world as they, the child, does. Some in the adoption reform movement resort to browbeating and insulting any pro-adoption people. Those actions are hardly commendable and do not change laws for reform.

Commentator 1adoptee (forbiddenfamily) is my birth sibling whom was placed into adoption due to death of our mother, our father had no other option. In the course of reunion the entire birth family were treated unfairly by this ‘adult adoptee’. When I adopted my own child with second husband, this ‘adult’ called me an unfit mother, interfered with my parental rights with my minor children and called false child-abuse upon me, twice! The entire birth family were subjected to all manner of insults and betrayals by this ‘adult adoptee’. Then in 2009 she wrote a libelous hate book (Forbidden Family) against every member of both birth and adopted families! In 2011, one month after she wrote her comment on this site, the book was pulled from publication, via the publisher, when evidence was provide, by birth family, that the book contained libel/slander and hate. Please do some of your own research on the character and actions of ‘adult adoptees’.

Endless internet drama

Submitted by Anonymous on August 31, 2014 – 7:12am.

Most adoptees and natural families are normal people who end up having normal relationships when and if they reunite with each other.

Some – on both sides – are apparently not.
some people just are not worth finding and knowing

I realize that this comment is coming late – but I had not seen this until today, August 31, 2014.
Since the time Joan Wheeler commented here, (page 2) answering my comments, with more slanted lies about me, Joan sent an anonymous letter (Nov. 2012) and to my employer, accusing me of computer fraud, in an attempt to get me fired. In January 2013, she bragged about sending that letter on the internet. I pressed harassment charges on her but the judge dismissed it. At the same time period, she was feeding 30 year gossip to a boyfreind of hers, who has a blog titled “Defending Joan Wheeler” – however, he does little defending her, but instead attacks me. In early 2013, he threatened me with emotional blackmail via his blog. I responded that whatever “dark dirty secret of mine that he thinks he knows about me” – to go ahead and say it. I reminded him that the police and the district attorney would be very interested in knowing how he, who never met me, knows any secret I may have. – He even brought up a fight that I had with a woman in September 1979! This is what I mean when I say that Joan Wheeler tells 30 year old slanted gossip about me! When I threatened this man with the police – he backed off. Very wise of him to do so.

In reading Joan’s answer to my comment here on page 2 of this site – I see where she still engages in half-truths. One in particular, where I sent an actual court document to the publisher of her book that had the correct court date on it, vs. to the date she put in the book. Joan claims in her comment here that she mistakenly put the wrong date in her book. No, she did not. We were in court three times – the first time in 1993, over phone calls I made to her, and she told the police I was making annoyance phone calls. The judge granted her a six-month order of protection against me. In the book she says it was for one year, and that she had MULTIPLE orders of protection against me. No, there was only that one. – In 1995, I took her to court because she was writing letters to the mayor of Buffalo and other elected officials telling them that I had a criminal record. In Dec. 1994, a child abuse call was made about Joan, someone posed at me and also named my fiance as co-molestor of Joan’s children. I believe it was Joan herself who placed that call because she sent letters to my mother in law’s house telling my husband to leave me. She was also writing letters to New York State Child Abuse Center and told them we were in court in 1993 and I was sentenced to probation. Joan was also calling my employer almost daily telling them I had a criminal record.  The judge in the court case that I instituted was dismissed because the judge felt “sisters should get along.”
In 1999, I took Joan to court for harassment again because she sent me a letter telling me that my husband had gotten the next-door neighbor pregnant. (the house was vacant.)
In March 1995 – we both appeared, it was adjourned to a date in April, then adjourned to a date in May. Yes, we had three court dates – for a total of about 10 minutes each time, 30 minutes final total time in front of the judge. In Joan’s book, she mixes up all three court cases, the one in 1993, 1995 and 1999. She reports that in 1994 we went through three months of court battles. – do you see how she mixes and sneakily LIES to everyone?

I send Trafford Publications EVERY court document that I had – not just one, as Joan says here on this site. – Including the letter she sent to Albany NY in Dec. 1994 saying that I was placed on probation – I sent Trafford the actual Order of Protection with the dates August 9, 1993 to February 9, 1994 to show that it was for the duration of six months, not one year as she put forth in her book.
And in the book, she does say that I have a criminal record – which is LIBEL.

I have a blogpost that contains the actual email I sent to Trafford – and it has ALL complaints I have about Joan’s book.  It was their legal team that decided that Joan VIOLATED THE CONTRACT THAT SHE SIGNED with Trafford when she said she put forth only the truth in her ‘non-fiction’ book.
It was never about she make peace with her sisters and write a book that we approved of – it was all about LIBEL AND SLANDER.

My complaint to Trafford Publications concerning the slander and libel contained in the book Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler November 30, 2011…

Also another commenter here, “anonymous” says ” I understand names were changed and that Joan Wheeler had to get a restraining order to keep her sibs from harassing her. ” – WRONG – you understand WRONG – obviously this anonymous person is a buddy of Joan’s who has been taken in by Joan’s lies – Joan did NOT protect my name – she did call me Brenda in the book – BUT in 1991, she wrote an article called “The Secret is Out” where she did use my full true name – it was published by the British Adoption Quarterly and Joan placed a footnote in the book telling the readers where to go find the original article – Joan scanned the article and placed it on her website, conveniently blacking out my name and my sister’s name AFTER she read my complaint to Trafford (it was originally on her website WITH my name showing) – however the original article is still available. – And Joan gave out her real birth name and my father’s real last name, and MY MOTHER’S REAL FULL NAME. My father worked for the City of Buffalo and had political ties with many Buffalo elected officials – one former City Common Councilmember, and former mayoral candidate SIGNED the memorial book for my father’s second wife in 1964. My father was also in the Buffalo News with his real name for an article about adoption. It doesn’t take much brains to see a dead woman’s full real name, half of her husband’s real last name – with that real last name of Sippel plastered on the front of Joan’s book AND a family portrait of my parents and me and my siblings (minus Joan) plastered on the back of Joan’s book – which was another VIOLATION of the contract she signed with Trafford – Joan was born in 1956, the picture was taken in 1954 or 1955. The contract says that the author has “sole copyright to the work (book) and all its contents” –

I will not sit back and see MY reputation besmirched all over the internet by Joan and her buddies.
Thank you for your time.

Ruth Sippel Pace
Subject: addendum
as to who keeps continuing the drama – ask Joan – in March of this year, on HER facebook – that I cannot see, nor comment on, but a friend of mine views and tells me – to honor OUR DEAD MOTHER on the 58th anniversary of her death (March 28, 1956) Joan writes a little thing to mom, than sticks in a dig against me and my other sisters. And one of her buddies calls me “evil” in a reply. This is you mark the anniversary of the death of your birth mother, using it as a vehicle to slam your sisters and you allow to stand a hateful comment against the other daughters of the dead woman that you claim to love?
And recently on another adoption forum, Joan is busy writing about the effects of adoption on people, and yakkety-yak – THEN says, that because of the death or our mother, her birth sisters have been left with lifelong psychological problems. – um no – I still grieve my mom – every year I go to her grave and take her flowers from my garden. Lifelong psychological problems? When I’ve held down a job for 42 years, am well respected in that job, well respected in the community as a result of my work organizing a block club and have healthy hobbies. Joan on the other hand, went through college to get a social work degree, has never worked a day in her life AS a social worker, yet pads her resume online. In one forum, she says that she IS a social worker, and a suicide prevention counselor then a week later, on
another forum, she says she can’t work because she is on Social Security Disability for her psychological problems, and has threatened suicide herself in the past. (this is true).
As I said above, Joan can write whatever she wants on the internet – but – when she writes about ME or MY FAMILY or references that libelous book – I will answer. I have seen many posts on different forums that Joan has commented on, and because she has NOT said a word about me or misrepresented
my father, I have not commented. Joan complains that I comment on forums – yes – but as I said ONLY when she mentions me or my family in a derogatory way.  I have the right to know what is being said about me in any venue, and I have the right to rebut any lies told about me. My civil rights are not negotiable.

drama, drama, drama – oh yes

it’s also about endless cleaning up your reputation after someone keeps slandering you on the internet, in real life, etc.  I have repeatedly told Joan Wheeler, that if she wants to comment about adoption issues – to go right ahead – I’m not about to stop her – BUT she needs to stop misrepresenting me AND my family. And if she references her now-dead slanderous book, I will remind people WHY the book is dead.  I have repeatedly told Joan that all she has to say is:

“My mother was pregnant with me when she was admitted to hospital in late 1955. Two weeks later, I was born prematurely, my mom was found to have incurable cancer. Three months later she died, leaving behind a husband with four small children, aged 3 to 9 years of age. Due to child care issues, my father relinquished me for adoption. I was adopted to an older couple, they lied to me all my life. It was a private adoption, and my birth aunt knew where I was all my life, but she did not interfere, but I felt she kept the lies going.  When I was 16, my birth aunt did tell my eldest birth sister my adopted name, and a couple of years later, when I was 18, she found me. I was reunited with my birth family in 1974. But my 1980, my reunion with various members of my birth family, both immediate and extended, began to go sour. I don’t associate with my birth siblings.”

There is no need for Joan Wheeler to be going on the internet and telling lies about me – why even in January 2013 – when the husband of a cousin died – Joan was on twitter accusing me of using the man’s death as a way to harass HER. – and I didn’t even know he had died! – I work the night shift, was sleeping, and working a couple of 12 hour shifts – one day I wake up and go to twitter and see that I was a busy person – WHILE I WAS SLEEPING! (damn, I’m good – I can harass people in my sleep!) – I see Joan’s tweets, and I call my cousin Nancy – was there a death in the family? oh yes – so I call Becky – and find out about the death. btw – Joan was tweeting that the father (Dennis) of the widow – doesn’t me around – gosh – when just a few weeks earlier Nancy had gotten 4 phone calls from Becky and Dennis – they didn’t have my number and wanted me to come to a Family Reunion Brunch – to which it was JOAN who was not invited. (I even posted pictures of the Brunch on my facebook). But according to Joan – I’m not wanted.  yes, sigh, endless internet drama – it would stop if Joan Wheeler would please shut up about me.

Subject: facebook
anybody who wishes to come visit my facebook page can do so at: [1]
come and see me with my lifelong psychological problems that Joan says I
have. roflmao!

Gert here again…and this is why we will continue to blog and speak out about Joan Wheeler where ever and how ever we find her!


Leave a Comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: