adoption, adoption reform, adoption reunions, being downright nasty, birth/adoptive families, browbeating people over adoption, carcinamatosis, co-dependency, confrontations with Joan Wheeler, dead book, drug DES, exploiting a dying dead mother, Forbidden Family a book of lies, how not to be a social-worker, hypernephroma, sins of omission and suppress of one's own misdeeds
Cancer words; why can’t #JoanWheeler #forbiddenfamily just accept the true cause of the death of our mother and thereby her adoption?
Because, she USES our mother’s illness and death, as a bone of contention, for her position of activist to gain access to medical records of adoptees; in other words, she is exploiting our mother’s death, for political gain and personal fame. Joan HAS all her records, she just wants the fame! She lost the fortune when she wrote a libelous book!
BEFORE WE CONTINUE…an UPDATE January 2016; as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ another ‘revised’ version. In this ‘version’ she has increased her exploitation by including PICTURES and REAL NAMES and much more personal information violating again the families. Joan has no decency NOR shame.
NOW BACK TO THIS POST
YES, of course, there is a true need for access to medical conditions, no doubt about that! I am in favor of family medical histories being made available to those that are placed into adoption. But, that is not the focus here. What is the focus is that Joan DOES NOT want to accept the truth because then she would NOT be able to use our mother’s medical condition and death for her self-centered misguided adoption reform position.
There have been many incarnations of Joan’s web page, over the years. Here’s the current one;
On this site, as well as in other places, she indicates that the blog is ‘under construction’. She may have ‘cleaned’ house as well for I note that the following post, that I’m discussing here, is not on the current site. (!?) You will note an ‘update’ on the captured post and it was after that update that this post must have been removed. I no longer recall when I captured this comment, was it 2013? Regardless it, and other things, have been in my, rather large file, of her rants. I get to them when I get to them.
When I found this post, the then blog, had ‘tabs’ and under the tab that she named ‘natural’, is where this was located. I was a bit shocked, that she had posted our mother’s death certificate! That is why I captured the post, but NOT the scan of the certificate, that I already had!
I am providing a portion of the certificate here, the portion that is relevant to the discussion of the cause of death.
This is Joan’s post that I shall be discussing here in this post.
Date Posted: 27 Oct 2009 @ 2:09 AM
Last Modified: 13 Apr 2012 @ 06:28 PM
Posted By: legitimatebastard
When my adoptive parents “got” me, they were told that my natural mother died of uterine cancer. Believing this, my adoptive mother worried that I might be susceptible to the same cancer. As a preventative measure, from as early as my teen years, I was seen by a gynecologist and had pap-tests every six months.
When I was 18 and found by siblings I never knew, my natural father, on our very first meeting, gave me a certified copy of my deceased mother’s death certificate. Six months later, I was a Freshman in college. I went to the college library and looked up the terms in a medical dictionary. My natural mother did not die from uterine cancer, as I was told by my adoptive parents, and they were told by my natural father, she died of kidney cancer. So I had had repeated pap-tests and had been worried about the wrong medical condition.
It is vitally important that adoptive parents are given a correct medical history for the infant they adopt, especially in the case of the death of one or both natural parents. In fact, a detailed medical history going back another generation is very helpful.
Here is a scanned image of my natural mother’s death certificate as given to me by my natural father in March 1974. Note the words: carcinamatosis hypernephroma, which means cancer of the kidney.
End of Joan’s post
Gert here: First an observation about gyn exams. It is ALWAYS a good practice for any female to have regular gyn checkups, whether it is known or not known about cancer in the family; this is just NORMAL preventive health care. So, for Joan to use normal regular gyn exams and pap-tests as having ‘been unnecessary’, she is showing her own ignorance as well as ‘presenting’ her wrong-headed case.
Now we, birth siblings, have addressed this ‘point of view’ of Joan’s several times in various posts.
Joan’s Insistence on Not Letting Our Mother Rest March 22, 2010
This post discusses the causes, conditions and circumstances of our mother’s illness and death.
This post discusses the various lies Joan states and the truth of the issues.
This post discusses the drug DES that our mother was prescribed, while pregnant with Joan. It is Joan’s lack of accepting that and her outright lying about it, as well as a previous miscarriage our mother had and other health issues.
As we have pointed out several times, Joan tells many different versions of how she got our mother’s death certificate, medical records, what she died of and how she died! Joan favors hyperbole in her writing style as well as outright lies and misrepresentations. She likes to ‘shock and awe’ people! Many things she wrote, in that libelous book, were so outrageous it was beyond disgusting. She has ‘her story’ and doesn’t want to be confused with the facts.
Let’s now talk a bit about that ‘family’ picture; the one that is on my WordPress blog and was on the back cover of Joan’s pulled libelous book. The picture was taken in 1954 NOT 1955!
Our ages, in summer 1954 were; Gert 7 years.6 months, Kathy 6 years.3 months, Leonard, Jr 4 years.6 months, Ruth just 2 years.
My first holy communion, at age 7, was in June of 1954, there is a picture of me and cousin Judy Miller. There is a picture of Ruth’s first year birthday party 1953. If one compares those pictures you can see the ages we were in that family picture. Our mother was NOT pregnant at the time of that family group picture.
Joan was born Jan 1956, premature, she was conceived in June 1955. The family picture is in warm weather so mom was not visually pregnant, just fat, from 4 kids and one miscarriage that occurred between 1953 and 1954. When mom got pregnant again, with Joan, in the summer of 1955, she was put on the drug DES and put into the hospital to HOLD that pregnancy. I recall her leaving home to stay in the hospital during the season of Christmas of 1955…that was the last we saw her alive.
The family picture is from 1954 … long before Joan was conceived.
It is now important to understand some medical terms and conditions.
Diethylstilbestrol (DES) is a synthetic form of the female hormone estrogen. It was prescribed to pregnant women between 1940 and 1971 to prevent miscarriage, premature labor, and related complications of pregnancy. The use of DES declined after studies in the 1950s showed that it was not effective in preventing these problems.
- Women who took DES during pregnancy have an increased risk of breast cancer.
- Increased risks of clear cell adenocarcinoma of the vagina and cervix and of breast cancer have been found for daughters of women who took DES during pregnancy; fertility problems are also more common among these daughters.
- Other health problems have been found for both daughters and sons of women who took DES during pregnancy; studies of the grandchildren of these women are just beginning.
- People who were exposed to DES should be aware of the possible health effects and tell their doctor about their exposure.
From my Random House Webster’s College Dictionary
carcinamatosis a condition marked by the production of carcinomas throughout the body
carcinomas a malignant tumor composed of epithelial tissue
The word hypernephroma was not found in Websters‘ but the various meanings of the word’s components are…
hyper a prefix meaning excessive
nephro a combining form meaning ‘kidney’
nephropathy is any disease of the kidney
nephrosis is kidney disease
On various sites I looked at, during my research, I found these statements…
‘Seeing the word hypernephroma on a death certificate does not mean it was ‘cause’ of death.’
‘Finding ‘hypernephroma’ on my son’s autopsy does not mean it was the cause of death.’
Our mother had ovarian cancer and breast cancer and she had it for at least six months perhaps even longer before her death. It, the cancer, was NOT found until after the birth of the child and by that time the cancer had spread and the body was beginning to shut down and die! First thing the body does when it is dying is to shut down the kidneys.
After she birthed the child (Joan), in her hospital bed, it was deemed that she should have an operation to determine what conditions she had. It was FOUND that she had ADVANCED ovarian cancer that spread throughout her system. It was DETERMINED by herself, her husband and her doctors, NOT to have further treatments. It was HER OWN decision to let nature take its course and claim her!
This fact was not welcomed by our mother’s family and neither was the fact that our father was in the process of securing a 2nd wife/mother, while our mother was still alive. Our father was demonized by our mother’s family for having an ‘affair’ while she lie dying and for his refusal to get our mother more aggressive treatments, which would have cause her greater distress.
Our father knew from JANUARY 19TH the day of her exploratory surgery that his wife was dying! It is because Dad knew his wife, our Mom, was dying that he sought out another woman to marry; he knew her from before knowing our mother. It is also possible that our mother knew this fact and that the infant may have to be placed into adoption as she KNEW she was dying.
Dad’s remarriage was in the summer of 1956, three months after the death of his first wife, our mother. He had to act quickly as his children were being cared for by grandparents, who were elderly, and aunts and uncles, who had young children of their own.
Hypernephroma is the end result of having carcinamatosis in the body. It, hypernephroma, is NOT the cause of death of our mother. Carcinamatosis IS the cause of death of our mother. She died of uterine cancer! Joan Wheeler knows nothing of the truth.
Nov 1, 2014…additional info
after Joan ‘saw’ this post, on Oct 30, she then wrote a blog post on her blog where again she lied on another blog. See the following for both Joan’s ‘new’ lies and my COMMENT. I want to thank Lorraine Dusky for publishing my comment.
Well now…I guess Lorraine really didn’t like my comment, for she now as deleted it!
I left this comment on nov 1
http://www.firstmotherforum.com/2014/10/who-serves-adoptees-best-interests.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+firstmotherforum%2FilVc+%28Birth+Mother%2C+First+Mother+Forum%29&utm_content=FeedBurner I am in agreement that adoptees need medical information…true medical information, misinformation does not help anyone. When wrong information is said about my mother I must, in all good conscious to her, answer that wrong. I did on this post…
I relate to adoption issues because of wrong information told about our family. Also I adopted my birth son with my second husband.
The POLITICAL AGENDA of adoptees is all that matters…they are NOT interested in the truth from the birth family