adoption reunions, being downright nasty, believing the bullship, blaming people for your own mess, browbeating people over adoption, bullying, chameleon, coat of multi-colors, doing the right thing, false accusations, family honor, fantasy, Forbidden Family a book of lies, how not to be a social-worker, imagination, inner health, inner torments, insulting another's religion, libelous book, mental illness, reality, sins of omission and suppress of one's own misdeeds, whining, worthlessness
Fantasy and Reality; HOW DOES #Joan Wheeler (#forbiddenfamily) construct her world and is it healthy?
When one lives their entire life, from a ‘internal dialogue’ point of view, and does NOT compare, contrast, alter, nor question that ‘internal dialogue’, along side, and with the standards, of acceptable views, of others, in the greater world, can they be considered sane, reasonable, rational or just living in some self-created ‘fantasy’ and/or insanity?
What part does fantasy and imagination have on a person’s world view? Sure we all have imagination and fantasy; that’s part of being alive; its creative at best, but at it’s worst, quite dangerous. I think there’s a lot more, here, than meets the eye; for to have a fantasy of life or an imagination, that doesn’t fit the known world, one could be living on a ‘invisible’ edge and that can and does lead to very strange behavior.
When I come across something, in my vast realms of reading, that illustrates, what I know to be ‘right’ thinking, I wonder ‘why’ is it that others don’t see it! I’m beginning to believe that the percentage of un-intelligent life is growing, for there seems to be more and more people who are believing the bullshit instead of questioning the bullshit.
Then, as in the case of certain ‘special interest’ groups, for them, it’s best to ignore those, like myself, whom point out that one of their own, in this case Joan Wheeler, is just plain crazy! It seems as if they just want to pretend that either I or Joan don’t exist and that we will disappear. But, you see, neither one of us is going to…disappear. Joan truly believes in her self-centered bullshit, and me and other birthsiblings, will continue to refute the lies about us and reclaim our honor. So there you are!
BEFORE WE CONTINUE…AN UPDATE, JULY 2016, as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ another ‘revised’ version. In this ‘version’ called ‘duped by adoption’ she has increased her exploitation by including PICTURES and REAL NAMES and much more personal information violating again the families. Joan has no decency NOR shame. There is NOTHING in this book for adoption reform. She is totally against adoption and her two families. To learn more see…
AND NOW TO CONTINUE…
Recently I read an article, Saved From Freezing, by Zen priest and poet Norman Fischer, as he explores the spirituality of art. The article can be found @ http://www.tricycle.com/feature/saved-freezing
By no means do I wish to take away anything from Mr Fischer’s wonderful article, nor it’s messages, but I did find a couple of phrases, sentences and a paragraph or two that just said it all! I do urge all to read his entire article.
The article is about fantasy and imagination in the spiritual sense; and in this regards, it must be remembered, that Joan Wheeler has NO SPIRITUAL life! This is her one major flaw; she is without a spiritual anchor. She has attempted to ‘show’ that she does, when she is in a ‘relationship’, as she takes on whatever the new fellow has.
When she was engaged (June 2013) to a Mexican/American Indian, she was all into those cultures’ spirituality, that ended even before it began, but she was so into her fantasy and imagination. When she was in a relationship (July 2014, which appears to have ended Sept 2014) she was all into various Buddhist and mindfulness ‘quotes’.
Joan just puts on whatever ‘coat of multi-colors’ comes her way. She is a chameleon! She states she’s a atheist and a humanist and she activity and publicly condemns all forms of religion. No wonder the last ‘relationship’ ended so fast! He is a Buddhist.
Anyone who has any spirituality would not last long with Joan’s adamant anti-religious positions. No wonder she has no luck in keeping a ‘relationship’.
Now for those thoughts from the article and how they fit Joan.
Mr Fischer says… ‘The world and the self really do appear to us as frozen. Our personal problems, our self-definitions, what we hear from those around us—all these convincing and compelling experiences invite us to clutch at concepts, positions, worries. We naturally build vast structures of ice to hold in place the world and the self, chilly and confined.’
Gert says...That’s Joan alright! She has all she needs to know…don’t confuse her with any facts contrary to her views! There is no warmth in her. All she expresses is pain, anguish, loss, suffering, anger, hate…all frozen in place. She would not exist if she were to melt some of that ice!
Mr Fischer says… ‘we tend toward ice: We crave a secure sense of self, a truth we can depend on, a world we can tame and understand. We want to be frozen, even as we long desperately to thaw.’
Gert says… Sure I can buy that! but can Joan? Nope because she is afraid of letting go of her demons. She has them by the tail and she’ll not let them go…she is one with her demons.
Mr Fischer says… ‘The imagination situates us in a reality wider, deeper, and more mysterious than we can directly sense or rationally know. Imagination can see into and through the apparent world to something luminous and significant. Without imagination there is only plodding on in a two-dimensional world, merely surviving, getting through the day. Without imagination we feel only the world’s dead weight, like an albatross around our necks, hanging there without rhythm, without quickness, without a beating heart. ‘
Gert says…Okay I see that, that imagination allows us a bit more freedom…to get outside of ourselves. We all have ‘wondered’ what the other person ‘really’ thinks about us. So, if I imagined that another person is really ‘out to get me’ then that ‘imagination’ is coloring my view of that person and I have ‘created’ something that isn’t really there…or is it? Confused? a little! In Joan’s case, she wrote a book, from her imagination…of what other ‘real’ people thought and did. That book has now been pulled for libel and is an ALBATROSS around her neck, a dead weight that she can NEVER escape. Her imagination created it and it is a dead weight because it was proven to be false! moving on…
Mr Fischer says… ‘But imagination is tricky and wild. It does not play by the rules; it cannot be controlled or second-guessed. No surprise, then, that imagination is depicted as a goddess, a muse, who comes when she wants to and leaves without notice. From the point of view of the rationally organized world, imagination is dangerous, for it holds that world in supreme irony, as a mere backdrop for its colorful activity.’
Gert says…ah I thought so…humm…so imagination can be beneficial or dangerous! If Joan had labeled her book as FICTION instead of NON-FICTION, and removed all references to the birth family, including her own REAL NAMES there would probably never have been a problem; with her book or her imagination! But, she, in her imagination of a great writer and social worker and adoption activist, COULD NEVER allow herself to write and work under a pen name. By using her real names, birth and adoptive, and naming all of the family’s surnames, she allowed her imagination to create a world that truly never existed and that is why the book is libelous! Even her insistence in retelling over and over again, on internet discussion forums and the like, various falsely created stories from her imagination as ‘truth’ points to her living in an ‘imaginary’ world. She is locked in it. She is frozen in it!
Mr Fischer says… ‘And no wonder religion almost always mistrusts and fears the imagination, which is forever evoking energies—sexual and creative energies—religion would just as soon forget: they are just so messy and hard to control, and they are not usually polite.’
Gert says…With dogmatic religions one is just stuck with the doctrine and dogma; there’s no way around it! If you use your imagination you are a heretic! But there are many non-doctrine/dogmanic religions that have many valid ‘sects’ within and imagination works well there. I find that religions that have a wide variety of gods, goddesses, demons, and other creatures, to be more fullfilling ones, for they allow for a vast range of valid experiences including those tricky sexual and creative aspects. So, point is, if your religion isn’t giving you fulfillment, try another! It may not work for alot of people, but it worked for me! The worlds of religions are vast! Joan, on the other hand, hates all religions! Even though she professes to be a Unitarian, she hasn’t the foggest notion about their prime belief…the worth of each individual! If she did understand and live that tennet she wouldn’t condemn others’ belief systems. She also says she is a humanist and a atheist. Either way…she is still frozen, locked up, with her imagined (false) view of the world around her and the people in it.
Mr Fischer says… ‘Imagination draws its energy from a confrontation with desire. It feeds off desire, transmuting and magnifying reality through desire’s power.
Gert says…Joan’s desire is to have the world UNDERSTAND her on her terms! Well, her terms are not based in or on any form of reality. She may be able to transmute and magnify her ‘desire’ to show that what she ‘imagined’ actually happened, but, it falls apart in the face of cold hard FACTS.
Mr Fischer says… Fantasy does the opposite; it avoids desire by fleeing into a crude sort of wish-fulfillment that seems much safer. Fantasy might be teddy bears, lollipops, sexual delights, or superhero adventures; it also might be voices in one’s head urging acts of outrage and mayhem. Or it might be the confused world of separation and fear we routinely live in, a threatening yet seductive world that promises us the happiness we seek when our fantasies finally become real.
Gert says…Now…Joan also uses a vast amount of fantasy in her world…in the form of ‘the voices in her head’ that ‘urge her into rage and mayhem’. The family knows this all too well! It’s actually more accurate to say that Joan uses more FANTASY than IMAGINATION. Even if one grants that what she writes/says has ‘some’ element of truth in it, how can her ‘voices’ be explained? Surely, documenting one’s own ‘rages’ ‘outbursts’ ‘cruel behavior’ to parent(s) and one’s own children, can’t be just the work of imagination! It has to be from the fantasies of the the ‘voices in the head’! Yes, Joan fantasized that she was going to be world-renowned writer! She was going to travel around the world to book signings and conferences where she would give presentations. She was going to have a movie made out of her book/life! She was going to make millions! And to do that, she had to use a lot of imagination in her creating the stories, from her fanatasies, in order to write the book!
Mr Fischer says… Imagination confronts desire directly, in all its discomfort and intensity, deepening the world right where we are. Fantasy and reality are opposing forces, but imagination and reality are not in opposition: imagination goes toward reality, shapes and evokes it.’
Gert says…At first reading of these couple of sentences one could say I’m all wrong! But think about it! Joan had to use imagination to write and create the stories she wanted/wants to tell. That action did/does confront her desire directly, with its discomfort and intensity; she FEELS it in her pores! so it must be right! So her imagination and her reality are NOT in opposition; she is right! And she evokes it!
BUT…it’s all based on her FANTASIES! Her fantasies of being a great and powerful adoption activist, that the world would buy all her books and attend all her conferences and Hollywood would be getting the best actors, directors, music etc at nauseum!
So tell me…is Joan Wheeler based in reality? She really ought to get a spiritual practice and get grounded in reality.
My apologies to Mr Fischer, and his wonderful article, which was using imagination and fantasy in the world of art and spirituality, for my co-opting some of his words to illustrate how it can also be applied to someone like Joan Wheeler. end