abuser, adoption reform, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, confrontations with Joan Wheeler, cyberbullying, doing good for society, Forbidden Family a book of lies, harmed by adoption, how not to be a social-worker, intimidation, self inflicted illnesses, sins of omission and suppress of one's own misdeeds, the sympathy vote, worthlessness
#JoanWheeler is back, looking for sympathy for her (self-made) plight in the world!
Before we get to THIS POST here is an UPDATE February 2016; as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ another ‘revised’ version, called ‘duped by adoption’. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor!
NOW BACK TO THIS POST…an eye-opener
She has gone through 2 (two) man in the past YEAR! Since the publication of her, now deceased libelous book, Forbidden Family, in 2009, she has had 5 (five) different TRUE LOVES (sugar daddies) … all of which have disappeared. I shall present a comment Joan recently wrote, because she is out there again, looking for that sympathy vote. But first I have a few things to say.
What a bunch of crock! Joan Wheeler’s illnesses may be real enough to prevent her from KEEPING a paying job…but…the root cause of those (plural) illnesses are SELF-INFLICTED! If Joan WOULD get off her BS soap-box about adoption she MAY get better, mentally and spiritually. For you see, for anyone, it is the mental and spiritual aspects of one’s life that CAUSES the physical illnesses. Joan’s belief that she’s been HARMED by adoption is the cause of her many illnesses. I’m not dismissing any facts that physical conditions can and do PREVENT someone from earning a living.
But…when a person INSISTS that they MUST FIGHT the system, over a perceive cause, and, they MAKE no positive change in things, THEN they forfeit the RIGHT to claim that they ARE DOING ANY GOOD DEED FOR SOCIETY. Joan should KNOW THIS…she has had 30 plus years of mental health counseling and YET she isn’t any better. Joan MISUNDERSTANDS the ‘giving back to society’ concept. Sure, giving back, generally, means you DON’T GET PAID for your service, so why does she always bring up the issue of payment? If she wants to get paid…get a fuc..ing JOB THAT PAYS A SALARY and shut UP.
A person also DOESN’T get to pick and DEFINE those fringe ‘social issues’ that typically, and in Joan’s case pointedly, condemns others for THEIR CHOICE. Giving back to society DOES NOT mean you have any right to condemn, browbeat, insult or do any other form of harassment just because the OTHER’s choice is NOT WHAT YOU BELIEVE THEY SHOULD DO. I volunteer…that’s means I do not get paid…as a Hospice volunteer. There is an official definition for the work I do and for the most part, NO ONE condemns me for my ‘work’ of GIVING BACK TO THE COMMUNITY.To DO the unpaid job that I DO, I must follow the rules! I cannot use that as a means to GAIN SYMPATHY just because I am NOT GETTING PAID.
Upon my divorce in 1970, I was on WELFARE for about 3 years. The ‘system’ put me through school…one year at Dental Assisting, and then for about 2 years of additional help UNTIL I made enough money to GET OFF THE SYSTEM. I then WORKED for 37 years and retired with a FEDERAL PENSION and SOCIAL SECURITY. I earned every penny I now get!
30 years ago, when I moved to a new location, I needed short term help. I then repaid that debt by volunteering for the food pantry. I didn’t broadcast the fact, I just did IT. Joan states she’s been disabled for 12 years…that would take us to 2002! What JOB did she have before 2002? NOT MUCH! She has always had SHORT TERM EMPLOYMENT, when she WASN’T in college! She has two degrees, paid for by the adoptive parents!, the very parents that she condemns. I PAID FOR EVERY college class I ever attended. No one has ever given me a penny I didn’t earn!
I have NEVER gone public, like Joan Wheeler does, about BEING POOR. I HAVE BEEN POOR! I know what that is! But, I have enough SELF-RESPECT to tell the truth of my circumstances and I’m PROUD that once I got the helping hand I needed I CONTRIBUTED TO SOCIETY BY WORKING FOR 37 YEARS! Joan is NOT the only person who has medical issues! I have plenty and I pay for my health care…$325 per month for my coverage in addition to copays and other costs. Joan GETS FREE MEDICAL CARE! She doesn’t PAY a monthly premium nor a copay…so what the fu… is she complaining about?
Joan is SO EASILY OFFENDED…that’s for sure! Joan DOES NOT EDUCATE people, she browbeats them! That certainly is NOT GIVING BACK to the community.
October 21, 2014 Joan M Wheeler I have been disabled for 12 years. Lost my job due to illness. I hate being poor. I live on $189 of food stamps a month. Sometimes, I buy freshly-made sushi as my food co-op. I am easily offended when people generalize against the poor. By the way, as an adoption reform activist, I am giving back to society by educating people on the effects of adoption on adoptees and our natural parents. So sorry I don’t get paid for my work. If I could work, I would. Not easy having health issues that that require constant medical care. end
cheesh! even The Big Guy works. – Here he is at Toho’s main office – when he’s not making movies, Godzilla does office work.
It’s funny how Joan can be a bar-hopper at The Sportsman Tavern and get sooo involved in the local music scene in Buffalo. And go to the annual birthday party for former president Millard Fillmore (because his birthday is the same as hers) and drink up a storm.
But she says she’s been disabled for 12 years due to illness and health issues that require constant medical care.
Listen, if you ain’t caring for those health issues at the bar – then you can get a damn job! I tried to get her to be a nurse’s aide way back in 1989. She gave me lip service. Said she was going to file an application. She never did.
She says she lives on $189 of food stamps a month. So how is she getting the $$$ for her adoption conferences and other trips? – Sugar Daddys – that’s how.
She says she hates being poor – but won’t get off her ass and get a job. But how is she affording a mortgage and upkeep on a two story, three bedroom single home with full basement, garage and yard – PLUS a car? Sugar Daddies.
She says “If I could work, I would.” – riiight. If she can go to the bars all the time, she can get a job and work. Cos her health problems are not preventing her from being at the bars and other local music festivals and being a local musician groupie.
oh – by the way, my recently deceased friend from high school – Michelene, was diagnosed at the age of 17 with multiple sclerosis. That did not stop her from getting a degree from the University of Buffalo for science and teaching. She used crutches to walk on the day of her college graduation. She became a docent for the Buffalo Museum of Science. She was a single mom.
By the mid 1980’s, she was confined to a wheelchair, but she still worked. As each successive bout of MS robbed her of more mobility, she never gave up working, until she was forced to.
In the mid 1990’s, she took over the leadership of a local Star Trek fan group, The USS Ari. Many times we had our meetings at the museum, where she took on her former docent duties and gave us impromptu educational tours.
By the early 2000’s, she was in a motorized wheelchair, and only her left arm was mobile. And she was right-handed.
That still did not stop her from typing out and publishing (with the help of her son, other relatives, home-health aides and me – in the collating and stapling) of the monthly newsletter of our group, The Ari Chronicles.
She would motor around in her wheelchair, going to dinner with her many friends, shopping, attending Star Trek conventions in Toronto and Buffalo, having long conversations with the actors (she had a half-hour conversation with actor Gary Lockwood, who seemed smitten with her), NASA astronauts, and others involved in Star Trek and general science fiction
We went to see the Peter Jackson Lord of the Rings movies together, and had many long phone conversations. When my husband John and I got married, we threw a backyard barbecue the next day – and using scripts from a couple of Star Trek episodes, with Star Trek music in the background, Captain Mike, married Ari crewmembers Ruth and John.
Michelle loved holiday gimmickry – she would buy those corny plastic holiday earrings – big shamrocks for St. Patrick’s Day, strings of brightly colored beads for Madri Gras, black cat or jack-o-lanterns for Halloween, and of course she was decked out for Christmas and the Fourth of July.
As I am writing this – I look down and see the socks I am wearing – that used to be Michelle’s – black background with different colored, glittered words and orbs – of Our Solar System!
At our Ari meetings, she would shower us with different holiday themed trinkets and boxes of homemade stationery.
Michelle loved ancient Egypt and knew of my love for it as well. She gave me many Egyptian giftwares from the gift shop of the Museum.
She loved letter writing and had many penpals from around the country – many from Star Fleet International – the parent organization of our Star Trek group, as well as her sorority sisters from college and lifelong friends from high school.
When she couldn’t use pen and paper anymore, she got a computer and typed with the fingers of one hand. – She loved stickers and cartoons and dinosaurs.
In 2004, a freak accident occurred that spiraled down to her demise – she was shopping – by herself – because she could do it and she was that fucking independent! She was at the post office buying stamps. She was exiting the building when the door closed on her right ankle, causing a spiral fracture of her right leg. She ended up in the hospital, and then rehab in a nursing home – where two incompetent aides fractured her hip putting her into bed. – I was livid! Here were TWO aides, using mechanical lift and they injure her! Several times on my way to my job as a nurse’s aide in a hospital, I would stop by Michelle’s house and put her to bed, using her mechanical lift – with no problem!
These injuries triggered another bout of MS and she went into respiratory distress, where she ended up in the intensive care unit where I work, and she ended up with a trach – and now she couldn’t speak!
She was confined to a nursing home bed the past several years in a vegetative state and passed away last month.
MS didn’t stop Michelle until it was impossible for her any longer.
What the fuck is Joan’s excuse? – as I said in my previous comment – if Joan can frequent the bars and local music festivals – she can get a damn job!