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#JoanWheeler contradicts herself as she attempts to rehabilitate her image! #flipthescript

by on January 7, 2015

A leopard CAN NOT change his spots! Neither can Joan! She is what she is. She can’t help it. Neither can anyone help what they are, at their ‘core’. So, it behooves us all to do our research on who we shall believe. A person’s previous behavior patterns give excellent insights.

Joan is a master manipulator! It is my contention that she ‘learned’ it, her manipulation in all their forms, from the adopted parents. We all learn much of our behavior from parents and others that we are in contact with in our very early lives. Joan’s birth siblings learned how to treat each other, our parents, grandparents, anyone in the family and anyone who was older than us, with respect. We were not allowed to speak loudly and argue with our parents and elders; period!

We, the ‘reunited’ birth family, were the second ‘family’ that got fooled by Joan and over time she conned the family that ADOPTED her via her anger and hate! It is also my contention that Joan learned, very early, how to manipulate ‘elders’ because her adopted parents were at least 10 years old than her natural parents, producing a ‘generational gap’ that Joan utilized; particularly when Joan was in her teen years.

Very early on she recognized how she could ‘get around’ them. The father was a meek, weak, secret alcoholic man, hen-pecked by a dominating possessive wife. Joan and adoptive mother clashed often and thought nothing of screaming, yelling, and arguing with each other, even in front of the husband/father’s SICK BED.

Joan never was able to understand that our father would NOT TOLERATE her behaviors, and that is why, he KICKED HER out of his house at least 4 times when she argued with him. I DIVORCED her when she violated my parental rights, banishing her for my children and my family and yet she kept trying to contact me! Then after 30 years, she lied to me again, saying she loved me, only to write more libel in that garbage book! Others in our family refused contacts with her when they too were slandered and libeled by Joan. Others took her to court for harassments. EVERYONE in the birth family want NOTHING to do with her.

So those that wish to believe Joan’s sweetness, charm, false piety etc. beware; that sweet behavior does not last long. Joan has NOT changed because her intentions are false!

To start with, here is a link to a post that shows ‘some’ of Joan’s previous attempts at elder abuse… https://gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/2011/08/18/joan-wheelers-own-behavior-exhibit-b/

In this very recent post we see exactly what Joan thinks of ‘happy adoptees’ https://gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/2014/12/09/adoption-needs-to-be-eradicated-from-the-planet-flipthescript/

From that post, I quote Joan, and added the bold, from November 23, 2014

“not all adoptees are aware of how they feel or are aware of the intricate problems that adoption creates for the adoptee and for the natural parents. I know “happy” adoptees. They aren’t happy at all. Just ignorant. Pretty much like the ignorant people who refuse to see science as truth over religion.” 

It should be pointed out that Joan states that she is an atheist, hates ALL religions, is intolerant and yet she belongs to the Unitarian Universalist Church. Of course, the UNI UNIs are very tolerant to all expressions of beliefs or non-beliefs.

How Joan manages to pull the wool over people, particularly elders, is just astonishing! She does this with those that are well older than herself, in a writer’s guild too (but that’s another story we have covered).

Now onto Joan’s new post; http://forbiddenfamily.com/2015/01/04/if-you-think-more-positively-you-may-find-happiness/

…her words will begin with J. my comments will be prefaced by …Gert says.

J. If you think more positively you may find happiness

Gert says. How MANY times have I suggested that she NEEDS TO THINK DIFFERENTLY, don’t worry she hasn’t taken my suggestions, she only grabbed onto yet another opportunity to TELL HER SAD SAD UNHAPPY LIFE. Joan’s intentions are NOT positive. If they were she would NOT have to tell the story again and again for she would have ACCEPTED it.

J. Earlier this morning, a dear older friend of mine slipped a note in my hand, saying that she had to leave church early but wanted to give me the note after reading the introductory papers to my memoir that I gave her last week.

Gert says. Joan’s use of ‘older friend’ in translation means, an elder she can mislead, who brought into Joan’s MO for getting attention. Papers of her memoir? Gosh, she already wrote one libelous memoir! And she’s STILL working on another? Shades of same-old! And Joan, who hates all things ‘religious’ is in CHURCH!

J. After reading her note, I wrote her the following letter: January 4, 2015 Hi L, Thank you for your sweet note.

Gert says. That’s Joan alright. Give her one sentence and she’ll write a letter! Sweet?? The old gal probably believes that Joan is SUFFERING.

J. Please continue to call me “Joan” since that is how you know me! “Doris” is the name I had at birth, and I use it to make the point that all adoptees lose the name they were given at birth. I know it confused you, for that, I am sorry. My legal name, Joan, has been the name I’ve had for 58 of my 59 years of life.

Gert says. Joan isn’t sorry, she’s played that game so many times, it’s a disgrace, and how she cons people! She is oh so NOT sorry, she baited and caught yet another elder that she can milk. Joan should have been a telemarketer for she sure can reel in the old folks! BTW, not all adoptees lose their birth name; my son didn’t lose his first name (he was 16 when adopted).

J. Thank you for expressing condolences for my plight in life.

Gert says. OMG! Joan had such a terrible life…her ‘plight’! That’s right Joan pour it on for the old gal! Eat up those ‘condolences’ from this dear old friend! What a fucking con-artist!

J. However, I’m not bitter. I’m bitter for what happened to me, but I am neither angry nor bitter now. My writings express it to get the points across, but no, I am quite happy.

Gert says. See Joan admits it…the way she writes is to get a reaction! She uses sensationalism to get attention. That will certainly never gain true reform. The point Joan wants to get across is that she IS bitter and angry! The only time she is happy is when she can retell her horrible story!

J. In the last 4 years, I’ve been the happiest I’ve ever been because I no longer have to interact with hateful relatives. The last two of my parents died in 2011 and with that came relief – relief that their suffering was over, and relief that the negativity of the relatives associated with my adoptive mother and with my natural father was over for me. I no longer am forced to deal with people who have been cruel to me.

Gert says. Yep pour it all out, to an old woman who hasn’t the faintest notion of what Joan is talking about, only that the picture Joan paints for an old woman is that Joan’s life was full of suffering, negativity and that she was forced to deal with cruelty from others…what horseshit. All this old gal knows is that finally Joan has been released from all the cruelty that family has done to HER.

J. There are positive relatives whom I miss, some I let go because I don’t want to interact with the rest of the relatives, and others are still in my life. Believe me, there are adoptive relatives who have never treated me cruelly, and there are a few cousins from my natural mother’s family who also have not treated me with cruelty.

Gert says. For someone who is happy she sure likes to use the word cruelty. Of course, she doesn’t mention the cruelty that she inflicted on family members, nope, not Saint Joan, she never inflicted harm on anyone!

J. I surround myself with positive people. I have good friends at church, at the YMCA where I exercise daily, and at various live music venues where my musician friends perform.

Gert says. Joan neglects to mention the negative people that she surrounds herself with, all those other angry hateful adoptees! Joan also doesn’t mention how she attacks pro-adoption people and argues with them about the damages they are doing by ADOPTING. The old gal she is writing this letter to would probably be appalled if she read what Joan says to others.

J. So, the papers I gave you explaining my life were meant to share with you why I joined the United Nations Envoy Team – where you and I met last year. With my knowledge, I want to join forces with existing programs to help make the world a better place for women and children, particularly poor women and poor children, especially women persecuted for giving birth to illegitimate children, and widows and orphans. I want to stop the trafficking of poor children in international adoption and to protect our own vulnerable pregnant women and their children.

Gert says…Ok, there are some admirable pursuits that Joan wants to do, but, Joan’s tactics are not. Joan has a NEED to be right in everyone’s face, so her sweetness just gets her in the door, once there, she’ll let lose her venom. She may be able to con her way in, on committees and such, but she’ll not be able to maintain her anger and hatred when ‘push comes to shove’.

J. Yes, I’ve lived through unbearable trauma. But being in touch with adoptees worldwide through email and Facebook on the Internet, and with mothers (and fathers) who lost their children to adoption, I am contributing to make the world a better place. I am living our UU Principles of social justice! Networking with others to foster understanding of what each of us (adoptees and parents of loss) has lived through is energizing for me. We create legislation to change laws statewide, and we write books, we appear on TV and radio to talk about our lives with the goal of raising awareness of the realities of adoption. So you see, I am not alone in writing about my life.

Gert says. Oh the ‘unbearable trauma’ of it all! She’s ‘contributing to make the world a better place’! She’s ‘living our UU Principles of social justice’! What a bunch of bullshit! Joan does not live up to UU principles when she isn’t around them! Joan is two-faced. And she admits that her bullying of pro-adoption people ‘is energizing for me’! Joan only wishes that she could change laws, write books (that are not libelous) appear on TV and radio! Notice that Joan neglects to tell the old gal that she wrote a libelous book!

Nor, in this letter, does Joan tell the old gal what she recently tweeted.

On Dec 27, 2014 Joan tweeted… ‘This is one very ignorant adoptive mother: the war on National Adoption  Month http://wp.me/p11BEJ-zb via @wordpressdotcom

And then said…‘remarkable amount of tunnel vision’

Gert says.Yep, this is HOW Joan makes the world a better place! Like I’ve said, Joan is two-faced, forked tongued, liar to the core!

J. Yes, I do see the truth in your statement: “Who knows, behind every turn, life holds treasures that you can’t foresee at the present.” In what you perceive as bitterness in my papers on my life, please keep in mind that writing these specific pieces: “About the Author” and “About the Book”, are meant to be brief highlights of what my memoir is about and a short bit of what happened to me. It all happened in the past – being transferred from one family to another, I lost my family, and my name at birth and my true birth certificate.  Yes, the first years of reunion were filled with confusion and anxiety for me. But please do not believe I am not happy today. I am. It makes me happy to explain my life so that no other child – no other person – has to go through what I did. There are lessons to be learned – that is why I wrote my memoir. And as I said, it is currently being professionally edited and formatted and will be re-published this year.

Gert says. Joan a happy person today? Oh I see! It makes me happy to explain my life so that no other child – no other person – has to go through what I did. Really NOW! Joan, the great, will save everyone from being adopted. Self-importance!

it is currently being professionally edited and formatted and will be re-published this year. And when it is the birth family will be the first to order copies and review it AGAIN.

J. It’s amusing to me that you think I don’t accept the things I cannot change. See, I have been the only one doing just that: accepting all of my life. It is the rest of the people in my families (adoptive and natural) who have not dealt with the realities that created the trauma of all of our lives where my adoption is concerned. It is also the general public who does not want to hear the realities of adoption; they’d rather believe in the myths of adoption.

Gert says. There she goes again with her ‘view’ of how traumatized we are because of HER adoption. So why does Joan have to be a crusader to MAKE the general public hear her versions of adoption? It makes her happy!

J. It makes me happy to do the things I do. While you may not realize this, I am one of the pioneers in the field of adoption reform. I’ve been writing about adoption since 1975. I am one of about 500 to 1,000 activists around America and thousands throughout the world.

…Gert says. Yep she is so happy she has to keep making the point. No, she just has to promote herself. She is NOT any known activist. J. It may seem to you that I am not happy since my story is tragic. I am, in fact, very happy inside myself, knowing that I am trying to change what I can to make this a better world. Blessed Be, Joan

Gert says. Delusional. Then Joan said, in a comment from another…

J. Thank you, P, for your comments. Yes, reunions are a combination of joy, excitement, anger, rage, confusion, juggling all types of personalities, running through a maze of different religious views, different economic and social norms, different cultures and family traditions. No reunion is the perfect reunion and, no, it is NOT wonderful to be in reunion. The point underlying reunion is that the adoptee should not have been permanently separated from the natural family to begin with. Only the adoptee and the natural parent know how that feels. Communicating to non-adopted people what that means is not easy. The general public may not be mean-spirited in their lack of understanding of adoption issues – socio-economic, psychological, legal, but many are anyway.

Many members of my own adopted family and natural family actually were, and are, mean and cruel: to this day. Which is why I have no contact with them. As for my sweet-old-lady friend at church, the one who inspired this blog post (and letter), is simply misinformed. As for you and your son, I cannot say that time will heal, as that is a tired old saying as well. The system of lies and rejection, as you say, is not healthy. I cannot imagine how you feel to know you are not your son’s legal mother. The contradictions of legal reality and biological reality in adoption come together in mental health when everyone faces it head on.

Gert says. Reunion with Joan was the worst thing we could have done.

Here we go again, with the mean and cruel-ness of the birth family members! Certainly Joan never did anything mean and cruel to anyone. She has no contact with us! We all wanted to be as far away as possible from her and her behavior. And the old gal…is MISINFORMED, yep Joan is sweet to her face and a back-stabber when the face is turned. Why didn’t Joan tell the woman she is misinformed? Because, Joan is just a smiley-face back-stabber using the woman. Joan, in her wisdom, believes that ‘time will heal’ is a ‘tired old saying’. Oh Boy And then…

J. Your question to yourself raises the bar a bit higher, one perhaps non-adopted people might begin to understand. Lower-middle-class and middle-middle-class people cannot afford to keep TV, cannot afford gas in the car, let alone a vacation, might not be able to send their kids to private schools, so, by the standards of the upper-middle-class and the wealthy class, these are sub-standard conditions in which to raise a child. Therefore, it does make sense that children of the lower-middle-class and the middle-middle-class be up for adoption by those people who can truly provide that “better life” for all these in-need children. I say, we start recruiting those kids right now. Maybe then society will wake up to the suffering of mothers of adoption loss and adoptees who were torn apart because of poverty and society’s cruel standards.

Gert says. Joan reads too many books on adoption and hasn’t a clue about reality. There will always be poor and uneducated people; can’t save the world from that. Recruiting those kids for what? Yep, Joan has a grudge on the world because of her own poverty and therefore sees our societies as having cruel standards. She has never wanted to GET A JOB to get herself OUT of poverty. Her opinions mean nothing and will change nothing. end

Comments here from Ruth, from her facebook…and as always Ruth has yet another aspect of things to point out.

heading on over there to read this – yeah, she flipped the script all right – I had looked at her newest blog post yesterday – where she says she’s the happiest the past 4 years! really? When in 2013 she got herself involved with a guy from New Mexico who was driving drunk and got thrown in jail and she reports she was stranded in NM and she hated it and his family and she was supposed to get married to him but after the drunk driving thing they broke up and then in Dec. 2013 he was pestering her and she was on twitter reporting she was scared of the harassment but he was 2500 miles away and then in 2014 she found a new boyfriend, but broke up with him – and on and on and on.

Yeah, she’s real happy. But on her facebook page she’s constantly whining about how UNhappy she is. well that was fun. – Joan needs to be lobotomized I’ll bet she didn’t tell that older lady how in April 2013 she tweeted she fantasizes about blowing up government buildings and in November 2014 she said on facebook that Christians deserve to die and in November 2012 she wrote an anonymous letter to my employer with lies to get me fired, and in January 2013 she bragged about it on the internet. would somebody PLEASE lobotomize this fool

Ruth permalink

oh thanks for adding my comments – I meant to go to the blog post – but I’ve been busy – I downloaded an album from amazon – Gerald Jay Markoe’s Meditation Music of Ancient Egypt via my main laptop, while typing some stuff for my BOS on my netbook. Prior to that, I was listening to a great album – Brian Jones (of the Rolling Stones) presents “Pan Pipes of Jojouka” – some traditional music from Morocco. The album was released in 1971, then re-issued in 1995.
I am reminded of one time – when Abdo (my first husband who was from Yemen -for those who don’t know) and I were living on Townsend St. and the Bitch called me on the phone – I was listening to some traditional African music and the Bitch made a comment – that she routinely hears wierd stuff coming from my home. – oh, SHE can listen to Native American music and other ethnic stuff (Caucasian) but when RUTH listens to Arab or African music – that’s a no-no. But that’s her bigotry coming out – just like SHE can like a culture that is not hers (Native American) and learn their dances – but slams me in her shit-book for being a belly dancer and like the Arab culture.
Yep – St. Joan paints herself as a saint – but in reality she is a bigoted little fool

but she tells this older lady that her birth family is cruel and mean to her. What do she think calling my job with lies to get me fired is called?

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3 Comments
  1. Comments here from Ruth, from her facebook…and as always Ruth has yet another aspect of things to point out.

    heading on over there to read this – yeah, she flipped the script all right – I had looked at her newest blog post yesterday – where she says she’s the happiest the past 4 years! really? When in 2013 she got herself involved with a guy from New Mexico who was driving drunk and got thrown in jail and she reports she was stranded in NM and she hated it and his family and she was supposed to get married to him but after the drunk driving thing they broke up and then in Dec. 2013 he was pestering her and she was on twitter reporting she was scared of the harassment but he was 2500 miles away and then in 2014 she found a new boyfriend, but broke up with him – and on and on and on. Yeah, she’s real happy. But on her facebook page she’s constantly whining about how UNhappy she is.

    well that was fun. – Joan needs to be lobotomized

    I’ll bet she didn’t tell that older lady how in April 2013 she tweeted she fantasizes about blowing up government buildings and in November 2014 she said on facebook that Christians deserve to die and in November 2012 she wrote an anonymous letter to my employer with lies to get me fired, and in January 2013 she bragged about it on the internet. would somebody PLEASE lobotomize this fool

    but she tells this older lady that her birth family is cruel and mean to her. What do she think calling my job with lies to get me fired is called?

  2. oh thanks for adding my comments – I meant to go to the blog post – but I’ve been busy – I downloaded an album from amazon – Gerald Jay Markoe’s Meditation Music of Ancient Egypt via my main laptop, while typing some stuff for my BOS on my netbook. Prior to that, I was listening to a great album – Brian Jones (of the Rolling Stones) presents “Pan Pipes of Jojouka” – some traditional music from Morocco. The album was released in 1971, then re-issued in 1995.
    I am reminded of one time – when Abdo (my first husband who was from Yemen -for those who don’t know) and I were living on Townsend St. and the Bitch called me on the phone – I was listening to some traditional African music and the Bitch made a comment – that she routinely hears wierd stuff coming from my home. – oh, SHE can listen to Native American music and other ethnic stuff (Caucasian) but when RUTH listens to Arab or African music – that’s a no-no. But that’s her bigotry coming out – just like SHE can like a culture that is not hers (Native American) and learn their dances – but slams me in her shit-book for being a belly dancer and like the Arab culture.
    Yep – St. Joan paints herself as a saint – but in reality she is a bigoted little fool

  3. Reblogged this on Refuting a Book of Lies: Forbidden Family — and commented:

    ever mindful of her basic character traits

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