abuser, adoption reunions, afraid of dying, being downright nasty, birth/adoptive families, blaming people for your own mess, browbeating to get your own way, bullying, change your life, co-dependency, confrontations with Joan Wheeler, false accusations, family honor, Forbidden Family a book of lies, getting attention, how not to be a social-worker, http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/03/04/adoption, self pity, worthlessness, writing from memory
Can Joan Mary Wheeler survive with her one-sided delusional thinking? Fighting #adoption isn’t helping her! #flipthescript
By chance, I happened to see a Huffington Post article in which Joan ‘ranted and raved’. She got quite a few ‘interesting’ comments. I am NOT putting Joan’s comments here, in this post, only the replies she received, for THEY are most telling! At the end of those comments I also present Joan’s yearly self-pity attention scheme.
please see update at end of this post
The replies below, in early March, are ‘addressed’ to Joan M Wheeler and are in reply to her long-winded and delusional thinking of hate and anger.
Joan M Wheeler It takes more than the donation of a sperm and egg to make a parent. You are the one in denial and expressing complete selfishness. Children are NOT pieces of property. You don’t OWN them. Often the best thing for a child is to be adopted by someone who actually is a parent and not some selfish immature person who thinks that simply donating and egg gives them the right to inflict all kinds of pain on a child.
Joan M Wheeler you made the EXACT point, it’s the BIOLOGICAL mother who wants her child back with NO REGARD for what is BEST for the CHILD…When she gave up parental rights…She clearly did if it’s no surprise who is caring for the baby…and until she got pregnant again…was ok by her….it’s not about her desires anymore. You give a child up for adoption….you give up rights to that child. I am an adoptee. My biological donors gave me up to be adopted by someone who could PARENT me. My parents and my husband’s parents (he is also adopted) are our children’s grandparents. There is no if, ands or buts about it. If they ask how did your grandma die, I tell them. I do NOT have 2 lives…the one I live and the one that could have been. Medical issues for our children we will deal with JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER PARENT. And YES as an adopted child my opinion DOES MATTER…it’s your self righteous opinion (novella) that doesn’t matter because you have NEVER lived it.
Joan M Wheeler Who are you to tell someone they are in denial? She doesn’t sound like she’s in denial; she just doesn’t feel like you do.
Joan M Wheeler – Why do you assume that had one’s mother been given X, Y and Z, she would have done things differently? How much do you know about that biological mother’s life circumstances? Ever consider the possibility that a birth-mother might just not want a child, at least at that point in her life?
Joan M Wheeler Children are not tennis balls and should not be treated as such. The young woman in the story claims she may have been drugged. She also never bothered to see the child for two years. Those must have been some serious drugs to take two years to wear off. Can you explain why she wouldn’t try to see the child and why the child should just be handed off to her? And, for the love of GOD, please keep it short and to the point.
Joan M Wheeler I think you way overestimate the pull of genetics- some of the people I detest most are close relatives- and my Corgi is in my top list of people I love. are you saying a test tube baby or a sperm donors child have these extra parents they missed out on- because no- they really didn’t
Joan M Wheeler Oh, NOW I get it. You’re pissed because you weren’t told you were adopted. Well, guess what? You STILL don’t speak for all adoptees. I knew from the very beginning that I was adopted. You are the one with anger issues and trust issues – not me. So again, take your opinions and shove them. Or at least keep them to yourself, as you are not helping anyone with your ridiculous posts.
My favorite ones…
Joan M Wheeler your “opinions” are SCARY! like tinfoil hat scary. “possess another woman’s child”? WTH? If I were to adopt I would NEVER agree to an open adoption. Either you want to parent your child or you don’t…there is NO in between. It’s not fair to the child or the “wealthy” parents who adopt. BTW my parents were NOT wealthy by any means when they adopted my brother and I. We were NEVER a possession. The only difference is that I didn’t come out from between her legs.
Joan M Wheeler sounds like you have a guilt going on there
Joan M Wheeler Certainly has some issues that needs working through as well. Maybe you should contact Dr. Phil? Seriously, click on her picture and look at her timeline. Someone has issues with adoption lol O.O
End of the Huffington replies.
Now, we know that Joan went back to that Huffington article to rebuttal some of those replies. That must have certainly added to Joan mental state(s). For we see on Facebook that…
Joan says…March 18 at 10:34pm I really do understand Stephanie! I really do. I had and have crazy adopted family and natural family and I want desperately to escape them. I back your decision. Just wish adoption was not the only way to secure your final wishes. I am 59 years old and am afraid of dying, since I have multiple medical issues and am afraid of most of my relatives.
Gert’s comment…Joan continues to state and label her natural family as CRAZY and she ‘want desperately to escape them’! If she thinks we are crazy then why did she write years’ worth of lies on the Internet before we knew about it and before that book was published? Why did she write that libelous book about us? If she wants to escape our blogs and comments everywhere, she should have thought about OUR REACTIONS before she slandered and libeled us. Joan shall never escape us, for she made us the subject of her libelous book. She bound herself to us with her lying shit!
Joan is ‘afraid of dying’! Can’t help her there! Perhaps if she acknowledged the ‘divine’ aspects of life and let go of her hate and anger, she might be free of that fear! She is ‘afraid of most of my relatives’, she should have thought of that decades ago before she violated everyone’s privacy and boundaries and then WROTE about them, from her (adoptee) view point. Joan’s personal HELL is one of her own making!
Joan says on March 22 at 9:45am
I’ve ignored so many friends and loved ones in my life. Because I was so busy trying to take care of surviving. As I am now. So please, forgive my absence from Facebook. I am not doing well for many reasons. Trying to stay afloat.
Gert’s comment Joan says this every year! This is called self-pity and looking for attention!
Joan says on April 9 at 8:35am
I’ve been trying to come back fully to Facebook and my friends and few family here. I miss all of you. These last few months have been difficult for me in many ways. I never really acknowledged all of my Birthday Greetings in January. So I am doing so now: THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO ACKNOWLEDGED MY BIRTHDAY! I went into hiding that day. For an adoptee, birthdays are hard. The older I get, the harder my birthday becomes. My premature birth 59 years ago was my mother’s body trying to survive. She died three months later of cancer. The months of January, February and March are very hard for me because I lost all of four parents in these months – two mothers in March. So I am trying to come back to mingle again.
Every year, like clockwork, she goes INTO HIDING so she can work herself up with ‘grief’ over the loss of being an adoptee and death of parents. Every year she is older, aren’t we all? Why should a birthday be so fucking hard? She really doesn’t want to LIVE. Why does she LIKE to tar and feather herself after she does all this self-flagellations?
Then after she bares her soul and wallows in self-pity, she goes to a bar and meets a guy and flirts with him on Facebook!
Yep Joan is surviving with her one-sided delusional thinking!
ok, every year, I post on facebook, a photo of my mother – to HONOR her on the anniversary of her passing, NOT TO THROW A PITY PARTY FOR MYSELF. Which is just what Joan does. At least this year, she didn’t use the occasion as a clever way to get a dig in against her birth sisters like she did last year.
UPDATE Dec 2015; as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ another ‘revised’ version.