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Joan M Wheeler plays lawyer; insisting her ‘rights’ were violated! She has no training in the legal field!

by on December 7, 2015

Whether or not one accepts the notion that adoptees’ rights were/are violated upon adoption, there still is the reality that, when a child is placed into adoption, the current legal statures are what ALL parties must abide by. The individual child’s ‘rights’ ARE represented by these existing laws and procedures and lawyers and judges. The entire concept of ‘best interest of the child’ is at the very core of the adoption process. And with all that, Joan’s arguments that there should have been a lawyer to represent her BEFORE adoption is total nonsense! She’s just presenting her case because she can’t accept reality!

BUT before we get this to…I want to share…my new blog and Facebook page

duped by adoption, a book study

an in-depth analyzes of the book Forbidden Family My Life as an Adoptee Duped by Adoption and the author’s first book Forbidden Family

so do stop by, look around, and comment

In the following topic, in which Joan has 4 comments, we see how Joan’s hatred for the adoptive parents is the core of her misery. As she states she ‘would have had a happier life’ if she wasn’t adopted by THOSE two adoptive parents. Joan is just an angry adoptee.

These comments, of Joan’s, were placed just after her book, Forbidden Family, was published November 2009 and BEFORE we, of the birth family, knew about it and got copies of it. The book has been pulled from publication, via the publisher, in May 2011 for libelous content. The ‘topic’ was created by another angry adoptee, a friend of Joan’s, whom with many others, did attack, via the Internet, the birthsiblings once we fought back about and over the book that libeled each of the birth family.

What Joan has never wanted to accept is this… there was no option available to our father to keep her. Any form of guardianship was unacceptable to our father and quite impossible to provide. Our father said that if ‘he could not raise her, no one in the family would raise her’. It would have been CRUEL to the father, the child NOT with him, and the rest of his children and the rest of the entire FAMILY.

Joan has been grasping at straws for years arguing that she didn’t have to be adopted or that the adoption could have been this or that way…instead of accepting the life that was given her by the FATES.

Should Kids Given Up For Adoption Have Their Rights Defended in Court

Joan’s 4 comments are numbered and my replies are marked (Gert posted)

#1 Jan 6, 2010

If my rights had been defended in court by an independant attorney who was looking out for my true “best interest of the child”, my adoption might have been handled diffeerently. One solution to my pre-adoptive parents’ petition to adopt me could have been to totally negate their petition on the grounds that it would be illegal and immoral to remove an infant from an existing sibling group and change her name and her identity to conform to what the adoptive parents want for “their” adopted child. Another solution could have been was to modify the petition to adopt by restricting the pre-adoptive parents to Legal Guardians. That would have kept my legal and my birth name one and the same (thereby preserving my Birth Certificate), and at the same time, given my Guardians the joy of raising a child with the knowledge of and visitation with that child’s one remaining parent (mother died) and visitation with her older siblings. The third option — which is what actually happened — to sever the ties completely with the father and siblings of the adoptee and raise the child 100% as the “only child” of the adopting parents which completely cut off my ties to my natural father, wiped out my chance for a timely and appropriate grieving of my MOTHER’s death, and wiped out any relationship that could have developed with my full blood siblings. It is a crime what happened to me! NO CHILD SHOULD BE PERMENTENTLY SEPARATED BY ADOPTION. This is cruel and is child abuse!!!! I blame the adoptive parents and the adotpive family for lying, manipulating the system and lying to the relinquishing natural father who was vulnerable at age 31 because he was grieiving the loss of his 30 year old wife who was the mother of five children

Gert posted 9/6/14

What Joan has never wanted to accept is this… there was no option available to our father to keep her. Any form of guardianship was unacceptable to our father and quite impossible to provide. Our father said that if ‘he could not raise her, no one in the family would raise her’. It would have been CRUEL to the father, the child NOT with him, and the rest of his children and the rest of the entire FAMILY.

#2 Jan 6, 2010

Oh, yes, another solution would have been to compelety restore my father AS my father, restore my siblings AS my siblings, negate 100% the Petition to Adopt by my pre-adotpive parents and provide emotional and financial support for this FAMILY to stay together.

Still another solution would have been to give me back to my father, but, since my pre-adoptive parents had taken care of me for 10 months prior to the Final Court Date securing my closed and sealed adoption, that would have been cruel to them. This last option would have validated those legal guardians’ rights to have contact with the child they had grown to love.

These situations happen all the time. Played out quite well in extended family within my adoptive family: my adoptive parents took care of a number of sinling groups who did not have a father (he ran off). But, my adoptive parents (years before I was born and adopted) had respect for the remaining parent, knew their own boundaries and limitations as Parent Figures, and loved the children anyway.

Love is best when it is honest and respectful. Closed and sealed adoption destroys family relationships for generations. Children who are Relinquised for adoption and who are being Petioned to be be Adopted, SHOULD have legal cousel to prertect their best interests.

Had my legal rights been protected from the very beginning, I would have had a happier life.
Thank you for the opportunity to speak.
Joan M Wheeler of .

#4 Jan 6, 2010

My adoptive parents and all of my adoptive family conspired against me to keep me from knowing my own father and my own full blood siblings. We lived just miles from eachother.

Do you even KNOW what you are talking about? I doubt it! Just spit back any opinion because you think it is the right thing to do. Did you ever consider how the children feel being separated from eachother? I did not need another home!!! I already had a home…My sole purose as being the adopted child was to fulfill my adoptive parents’ NEED to have a child.

Gert posted 9/6/14

NO that’s not correct! her adoption was a result of the death of our mother and the refusal of a second wife to take and raise the infant child (Joan) upon a marriage to our father. There was NO other option for our father, but, to place the infant child into adoption. see… for full and correct facts about our family. Joan wrote libelous book which has been pulled by publisher.

#16 Jan 7, 2010

As a social worker, I went to family court with residents of a homeless shelter. Children are taken away from their parents because of poverty. Parents, usually mothers, do all they can to get their children back, but the welfare rules and social policies of the homeless sheters themselves prevent family reunification. Shortened time frames for parents to work towards impossible goals place children on a fast track to be “freed” for adoption. The entire system needs to be overhauled. Additionally, adoption takes away a child’s real birth certificate, seals it, and then repalces it with a government-falsified, certified as ture, Certificate of Live Birth naming the actual adoptive parents as parents of birth and giving the adoptee a new name. This is identity theft. Not in the child’s best interests. Adoption should be replaced with Guardianship. My adoptive mother is dying in a nursing home: she finally realizes what the fuss is about: falsified birth certificates do not tell the truth. Adoption Certifcates, not falsified birth certifcates issued by the Registrar of Vital Statistics, woudl be better than the system of recording adoptions that we have now.

Gert posted 9/6/14

She may have a degree in social work but she’s never worked as one…she is on disability has been for decades. She wrote a libelous book against both birth and adoptive families…it was pulled from publication May of 2011. see..

and so it goes…




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