adoption reform, adoption reunions, being downright nasty, birth/adoptive families, blaming people for your own mess, browbeating people over adoption, call to arms, confrontations with Joan Wheeler, cyberbullying, family honor, intimidation, mental illness, narcissistic, sins of omission and suppress of one's own misdeeds, worthlessness
Browbeating and insults abound as Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel is unable to ‘control’ herself! (1 of 6)
Again, we see the great ‘educator for adoption reform’ use her superb talents to win converts…NOT!
Would you stand still (figuratively and physically) and allow Joan/Doris to speak to you in the way she does here? Of course not!
She only gets away with it, sometimes, because of the impersonal nature of the ‘internet’ format. She is far more cowardly, via the phone and in person, where she flees away when another refuses to take her BS! She’s like a viper! Strike and slither away!
BUT before we go any further I want to share
I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler (Doris Michol Sippel) says about me and family. The first book ‘Forbidden Family, A Half Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism‘ was published in 2009 but then was pulled from publication by the publisher in May 2011, for libelous material within the book. Then in 2015, she ‘self-published’ a ‘revised’ version calling it ‘Forbidden Family, an adoptee duped by adoption’. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor! Then in 2016 Joan changed her name back to her birth name and rewrote and republished the SAME crap in another book; a Third edition! CALLED ‘Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity’! Talk about conning people!
https://gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/ this blog is titled Reclaiming the Sippel-Herr Family Honor
this blog’s title/sub title is… DUPED BY ADOPTION & AN WOMAN’S STRUGGLE FOR IDENTITY, A BOOK STUDY an in-depth analyzes of the books called Forbidden Family; My Life as an Adoptee Duped by adoption & An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity by Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel.
also see this Facebook page…
In addition…see the ‘discussion’ forums, on Amazon, for two of the books. The first book has one review and several comments related.
Forbidden Family: My Life as an Adoptee Duped by Adoption forum
Joan Mary Wheeler forum
review of first book and 4 comments
do check us out and now to continue…
Anyone can see how ‘angry’ Joan Wheeler was in 2009 by the comments she left on various web sites and in print, that year. Over a life-time she has transferred her anger onto the printed page, for her ‘life’s work’. Just before she finished Forbidden Family she wrote a very long, disjointed, perverse and hateful chapter, between April and July 2009, then submitted the entire hate manifesto for publication. Much of her attitude, perversity and more, in the following comment, on the internet, made it into the book. That book was proven to be libelous and was pulled from publication by the publisher, Trafford Publications, in 2011. (see the links above for and about the 2nd book she wrote)
In the comment of Joan’s, that I am presenting, we see (feel) her righteous indignation of all things adopted! For sure I, and others, are NOT blind to some of the issues that are part of adoption reform and are needed in adoption reform! But, myself being a mother who adopted as well as a birth family member, and others of the birth family, we are appalled at the outrageous browbeating and contempt that Joan dishes out to people, all the while as she exploits our PARENTS. That is why we speak out on anything, anywhere, that Joan Wheeler has published.
Before and after the publication of that libelous book the family has SUFFERED greatly from the words and deeds of a clearly mentally ill person! Any one who professes, as Joan does, to be a public advocate, and who states she is a ‘social worker’ (on paper only) their previous words and deeds are ALWAYS subject to scrutiny. Everywhere she’s been on the wide world of the Internet carries her words of hate. This is why I continue to address them, as I find them.
This blot post comes from the following site, but UNFORTUNATELY is no longer available to view
This is the first of six blog posts that document the ranting and ravings of Joan on just one web site directed at just one person.
The following browbeating session was before she ‘finished’ writing that libelous book, Forbidden Family. It is obvious that she is consumed by her anger and hate, which of course she put forth in that book. She can not separate herself from her hate and anger; it consumes her. The book was pulled from publication, by the publisher, May 2011.
I have pulled out certain statements of Joan’s (half-orphan) for my own comments; the entirely will follow after my comments.
Submitted by half-orphan on Mon, 01/05/2009 – 01:16.
Joan said… This is my first time in here. Geshh, John! I don’t know where to begin!
Gert’s comment…oh sure she DOES, know where to begin! She searches out for anyone who is pro-adoption in any shape, form or manner. She searches all over the internet, then in 2009, as she did in 2008 and as she does in 2015! She’ll continue to do so the rest of her life! What a waste!
Joan said… Because I really don’t know you, and can only know by the little I’ve read, here’s my take on you and why you have these one-sided views:
Gert’s comment…she doesn’t know the guy but KNOWS he has ‘one-sided views’ and she is going to TELL him all about it! Ego-manic that she is. This is HOW she thinks, and writes, she KNOWS all about the other person…that is why she is so dangerous! She can’t possible KNOW what’s in the mind of another, nor their motives, BUT she writes as if she’s inside the other…that’s called slander and libel and misrepresentation and fantasy.
Joan said…You might be on the defensive because you are in their control now. I’m not really sure what is driving an adoptive parent to defend a natural parent’s perceived right to privacy or confidentiality.
Gert’s comment…’control’? Joan believes that adoptive parents are ‘in control’; apparently her’s were! Most parents are in ‘control’ of their children since it usually takes 20 years, give or take a few years, for a human being to be mature and ‘in control’ of themselves! Of course she can’t ‘understand’ why this adoptive parent is defending a natural parent because she can ONLY understand what HER adoptive parents did or did not do. And being the ‘all wise knowing’ entity that she is…she has already condemned this guy.
Joan said… I speak from 35 years of experience living in a reunion
Gert’s comment…here Joan’s misspeaks and misrepresents the ‘reunion’. Reunion with natural family (knowing them) and ‘living in reunion’ are two very different things! Within 5 years she betrayed me and I kicked her out of my life. Over the years, as each and every birth family member had been betrayed by her, they LEFT her. This includes our father, who finally had ENOUGH of her abuse in 2009, and kicked her out of his home and life! That episode happened mid-2009 and of course Joan wrote about it, from her point of view, and put it in the libelous book! So Joan again, has NO EXPERIENCE.
Joan said…Our father let me go into adoption because: a Catholic preiest suggested that would be best
Gert’s comment…totally WRONG! Sure he would have asked for advise but ultimately our father had no other option but to place her into adoption; his 2nd wife refused to take the infant (Joan). This is a FACT that Joan refuses to accept. She has her ‘story’ and will not accept the truth.
Joan said… telephone reunion, my adoptive mother dumped all of my personal papers on the kitchen table. “You want your papers, here they are! They mean nothing to me any more!” That was the way my loving mother gave me
Gert’s comment…and this is why Joan is so against adoption, because of the negative behavior of the adoptive mother. Once Joan LEARNED about her birth family, she USED that against the adoptive parents, particularly the mother. As a child, Joan learned that same negative behavior, and then USED it on the mother, browbeating her over the issue of ‘you did not give birth to me’ and ‘you lied to me’ all the way to the woman’s death bed in 2011. So much for Joan’s love!
Joan said… I take it John, that you are a non-adoptee. If that is so, you cannot know what it feels like to have your personal, private information stolen from you! That is what adoption does, John!
Gert’s comment…Sure, a non-adoptee won’t. Joan has told her birth family members this all the time, that isn’t the issue! The issue is that Joan is anti-adoption and will do anything to prevent it, including, violating my parental rights with my minor children when I and 2nd husband ADOPTED and violating the rights of others to do what they want in their lifes.
Joan said… that all adoptees would benefit from being adopted with a new name, a new identity, free and clear from the sins of their parents.
Gert’s comment…what the f… ! Well the ‘reunited’ birth family knows, all too well, that Joan’s mind has been in the gutter for sometime! What she does, in these rants of hers, is to ‘shock and awe’ people with these ‘throw out statements’. ‘Sins of their parents’! Sure okay perhaps that ‘was’ the attitude decades ago, but it isn’t anymore…so why does she continue to browbeat people with outdated crap? She could state her position in a more positive manner, but no! This is one reason why she is so ineffective, she never gives any positive feedback or hope.
Joan said… Well, guess what? I’m not an illegitmate bastard, I am a half orphan! There are no special secrets, no shame, no slutty mother, no dirtty old man father, no drug user, no abuser, no neglectful parents: just a 30 year old dead mother, a grieving 31 year old father, and four screaming kids under the age of 9.
Gert’s comment…There are many different types of adoption, but that doesn’t interest her. Joan wants to eliminate adoption. Joan wants to/likes to play the ‘slutty’ angle. Wow! look at her go! slutty, dirty old man, drug user, abuser, neglectful parents and let’s not forget the adjective for those kids…’screaming’! She sure likes to paint a picture! Truth? She’s talking about her OWN children here, not the children that were left after their mother died. How do I know? Because I’m one of them, the oldest, and I can tell you because I WAS THERE, we HAD grandparents and aunts and uncles. We were NOT allowed to scream and carrying on. There was NO back talking with the parent, period. In Joan’s upbringing, she yelled at her adoptive parents! It was witnessed by Ruth how Joan argued with the mother at the sick bed of the father in the hospital! Joan yelled and screamed at her children all the time. Joan wrote about that in the book! This is how Joan sees the world of parents and children.
Joan said… BUt his older chidren wanted their baby sister! And they found me!
Gert’s comment…finding Joan was the worst thing we siblings ever did…together! How were we to know what a monster she was and is? We were so idealistic! How wonderful it was to be able to have our sister back! Shared genes mean NOTHING. She was raised with anger and hate and she can not relate to any one in any circumstance withOUT her hate and anger. She went after each and every birth family member, including the FATHER. She ‘claims’ that she wanted/wished to stay with the birthfamily and not be adopted! Fool that she is, her life, if she remained with us, would be one filled with difficulties, orphan and foster homes, decades of never belonging to a ‘family unit’. She’s an idiot!
Joan said… You may not agree and you don’t have to, those are your feelings Feelings are different from CIVIL RIGHTS. I have every right to my birth certificate — the one that states the facts of my birth. PERIOD.
Gert’s comment…if feelings are different from ‘civil rights’…why does she write with all her FEELINGS. Why doesn’t she BITCH at the law makers! Does she really think that this person she is yelling at is going to do her bidding?
Joan said… If you had nothing to do with the conception and birth of a child, then your name does not belong on a falsified birth certificate, John!
Gert’s comment…So it MUST be John’s fault that the AUTHORITIES put the wrong name on the birth certificate! Why does she have to argue with a person she DOESN’T know? Because she’s an idiot!
Joan said… I will fight to my dying breath for all adoptees to have the rights
Gert’s comment…heard this many many times. What a waste of a human life. This type of statement only shows her total dedication to herself and her pain. She can’t accept her life and adoption. She is a self-made martyr.
Joan said… Adoptive parents came to be parents by adoption, not birth. Tell the truth, John!
Gert’s comment…She does not know this guy, John, yet she treats him like a child. Here she is in her ‘big girl/mother’ role! She wants others to ‘tell the truth’, yet, she never does!
Joan said… And, to answer to your cutsi “me, me, me” attitude of adoptees: it is our birth records, our property, and our birthrights. STAY OUT OF OTHER PEOPLE’S PERSONAL BUSINESS!
Gert’s comment…yep you can tell that she’s got her red angry face on! Her fists are tight as she screams at a person she DOES NOT know! How dare any one critize her! Joan has never ‘stayed out of other people’s personal business’! That whole book was about OTHER people and their personal business…that’s why it’s libeous!
Joan said… Parents do not have the right to scream, “me, Me, Me” just because they think they can hide from their own child!
Gert’s comment…What? This is how Joan and her adoptive mother interacted together…each one DEMANDING they be in the right and the other to shut up.
Joan said… Go read some adoption psychology books. Look at the damage done to adoptees by closed, sealed adoption.
Gert’s comment…Joan’s stock answer for anyone who doesn’t believe her…go read books on adoption! Books may give insights and information BUT they will not stop people from adopting! Joan wants to rid the world of adoption and she say and do anything until her dying breath! When will that be?
And now Joan’s comment in full…
This is my first time in here. Geshh, John! I don’t know where to begin! So, because you are the adoptive father of 5 boys out of foster care, who suffered abuse and neglect, you think you have the right to defend their natural mothers? To protect their privacy? Because I really don’t know you, and can only know by the little I’ve read, here’s my take on you and why you have these one-sided views:
You think that the birthmothers, and fathers perhaps, may not be the best parents in the world and you don’t want them back in your adoptive sons’ lives. You might be on the defensive because you are in their control now. I’m not really sure what is driving an adoptive parent to defend a natural parent’s perceived right to privacy or confidentiality.
I speak from 35 years of experience living in a reunion. At the age of 18, I was found by a sister I never knew. My adoptive parents never wanted me to know anything about my birthfamily, but they did tell me I was adopted. So, when this phone call came in, I was thrown into shock. My eldest sister told me that I had four older siblings a several younger ones, too. I was the baby of the first five children born to married parents. Our mother died when I was three months old; in fact, she was dying while pregnant with me. Our father let me go into adoption because: a Catholic preiest suggested that would be best, and, my soon to be adoptive aunt, told her brother and his wife, that I was available. She knew my birthmother all of her life.
A few days after this telephone reunion, my adoptive mother dumped all of my personal papers on the kitchen table. “You want your papers, here they are! They mean nothing to me any more!” That was the way my loving mother gave me my Final Order of Adoption, my short form amended birth certificate, my short form birth registration in my birth name, and my true baptismal certificate and my falsified baptismal certificate.
The more I read about adoption reform, the more I realized something was, and is, wrong. First, a baby’s birth is registered. If that child is surrendered for adoption and the adoption is finalized, then the court sends a notice for a new, false, birth certiifcate to be made in the child’s new adoptive name, and the adoptive parents are named, along with where the birth took place: hospital name, was this a single birth ?, what time of day was child born?
I take it John, that you are a non-adoptee. If that is so, you cannot know what it feels like to have your personal, private information stolen from you! That is what adoption does, John! My birthname, my mother’s name, the length of her pregnancy, the time she gave birth to me, the number “4” typed in the box that asked “How many other chidlren born to this mother?”. My father’s name and our address. All of that information was stolen from me! It was sealed by the State of New York! Why? Because of the stupid law of 1930, that made up the stigma of illegitimcay should be hidden, that all adoptees should be able to start over with a clean slate, that all adoptees would benefit from being adopted with a new name, a new identity, free and clear from the sins of their parents.
Well, guess what? I’m not an illegitmate bastard, I am a half orphan! There are no special secrets, no shame, no slutty mother, no dirtty old man father, no drug user, no abuser, no neglectful parents: just a 30 year old dead mother, a grieving 31 year old father, and four screaming kids under the age of 9.
According to the United Nations, they will not release a child for adoption to the United States, untill they have proof that both parents are dead (a full orphan) or, that both parents sign relinquishment papers. So, while I had full blood siblings and a father living within Buffalo’s City limits, I was wisked away to a northern suburb about 5 to 7 miles away from my natural family. United Nations would not have approved of my adoption because I had a living parent.
When my father signed the consent for release of me, he was told by the judge to stay away from my adoptive parents. He was told he could come to look for me in 18 years. He was never given a confidentiality contract to sign, nor was he verbally told this adoption was confidential. He abided by the law and stayed away. BUt his older chidren wanted their baby sister! And they found me!
You may not agree and you don’t have to, those are your feelings. Feelings are different from CIVIL RIGHTS. I have every right to my birth certificate — the one that states the facts of my birth. PERIOD. No one should have the right to falsify anyone’s birth and that is why amended birth certificates are immoral, unethical, and will be illegal someday. The government is wrong to come up with this scam, fraud against adoptees.
If you had nothing to do with the conception and birth of a child, then your name does not belong on a falsified birth certificate, John!
I will fight to my dying breath for all adoptees to have the rights to: their original brith certificates retroactively, and, the right to an adoption certificate instead of a false birth certifcate. Adoptive parents came to be parents by adoption, not birth. Tell the truth, John!
If your sons do not want a reunion with their natural parents, that will be their own decisions. If their natural parents contact your adopted sons after they become of legal age, guess what, you have no say in what takes place. Relationships can and do develope. And if your sons want certified copies of their birth certificates, that is their right, not your right to demand NO, and it is no one else’s right — not even a birth mother — to prevent the very child she gave birth to — to have her wishes to remain annoymous rule over her offsring.
And, to answer to your cutsi “me, me, me” attitude of adoptees: it is our birth records, our property, and our birthrights. STAY OUT OF OTHER PEOPLE’S PERSONAL BUSINESS! All parents have responsibility to their children. Parents do not have the right to scream, “me, Me, Me” just because they think they can hide from their own child! Anyone who does not want a relationship, does not have to participate.
Go read some adoption psychology books. Look at the damage done to adoptees by closed, sealed adoption.
Joan Wheeler who was born Doris Sippel
link to #2 of 6