adopted family is twisted, adoption is evil, adoption is not the cause of negativity shown by people, adoption reunions, age differences between parents and children, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, bullying, co-dependency, family is messy, how not to be a social-worker, mental illness, people are evil
Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel says ‘comments from my adopted family made me realize just how twisted they really were’
OKAY, just because a family ‘adopts’ doesn’t make them twisted! Just because family members have different opinions and views doesn’t make them twisted! Adoption is not an evil. Some people can be and are evil! It is always people that make things bad, ugly or evil…NOT a concept or institution.
OBVIOUSLY Joan/Doris is twisted; by her hate and anger!
Adoption DOESN’T mean the same thing to EVERYONE! That is just what the problem Joan/Doris has with being adopted! She CAN’T get everyone to see it FROM HER VIEW POINT. Regardless of what Joan or others want, to eliminate adoption from the world, that will NEVER happen!
Okay…looking at it ‘from’ her point of view, she MAY HAVE gotten a rotten adoptive family, who were very insensitive. But, knowing Joan as I do, Joan, herself, is very insensitive and is quite rotten in her own right and dishes it out like the best of them! Joan/Doris is not an angel.
Joan’s birth family, the same that I come from, is not all THAT SENSITIVE to certain topics, opinions and members within our family. Is any family FREE from insensitive members? I doubt it! FAMILY IS MESSY! NO family is free from negative people or thoughts. Adoption is not the cause of NEGATIVE PEOPLE OR THOUGHTS; PEOPLE ARE.
Of course, I and others, can and do see the hurtful things that others say about and to adoptees but you know…adoptees are NOT the only ‘type’ of people that have ever gotten negative/hurtful statement thrown at them! These ‘sensitive’ adoptees need to grow some thicker skin and get on with their lives!
After our mother died and our first step-mother was hospitalized, I and my other siblings were placed in orphan and foster homes! We were all subjected to similar statements and taunts. I could rant and rave over all the horrible mean-spirited negative put-downs that I heard over my lifetime, about being an orphan, a ward of the state, etc etc, but what would that accomplish? NOTHING! I have learned HOW to be a better person BECAUSE of having to live with those taunts! I’ve learned that HUMAN NATURE is one that I can NOT change; I can only change MYSELF.
Joan/Doris ought to put on sack-cloth and ashes and do more self-flagellations so she may feel more alive for she certainly can’t find ONE THING pleasant in life to talk about! She is over 60 NOW…and it’s high time that she learns that the only thing she has CONTROL over and CAN CHANGE, is HERSELF. If she is unwilling to do that she ought to shut the fuck up!
Found on an adoptee Facebook page
I realized, as a result of this election year, how important negative people and people who disagree with me have been in my life. As an adoptee who wanted to find my birth family from the time I was a small child, I was beset by negativity. In fact the only person who supported me in my need to know was my adoptive mother! Everyone else was critical, negative, downright insulting. I was told such things as, “She didn’t want you then, she doesn’t want you now.” “You have no right to search.” “If it were a good thing for you to know, it wouldn’t be against the law.” “You think you come from royalty when you actually were just the product of some slut who didn’t want you.” “You are an ungrateful brat who doesn’t appreciate how good a family you have.” “Why don’t you show your adoptive parents you love them instead of trying to hurt them.” At first I was devastated by these comments and believed I truly was a horrible child to have these thoughts and feelings. And then, as I got older, I critically examined every one of those comments (which continued even after I had grown up and left home), and discovered they were either downright lies or the twisted attempts of sick people to control what I thought, felt, did. And, as a result, every one of those comments helped me clarify my purpose, and strengthen my resolve. If it weren’t for them, I might never have had the persistence to actually find my birth families. November 5, 2016
Doris Michol Sippel Exactly. For me, those comments from my adopted family made me realize just how twisted they really were. They didn’t love me, they loved the thought of adoption itself. This was extended family. November 5 at 4:38pm
End of exchange
BUT NOW let’s just take a closer look at what Martha said…
And, as a result, every one of those comments helped me clarify my purpose, and strengthen my resolve.
Why is IT that Joan/Doris doesn’t and can’t do the same thing! Because Joan can’t let go of her hate and anger…that is the only thing that keeps her alive! Joan was FOUND, by the birth family, and that (being found) is what set Joan’s adoptive family off! Joan BLAMES the birth siblings, for setting in motions, events for those negative people/comments to be said by her adoptive family members!
Joan/Doris really does need to LET IT GO
Now to remind people…the history of Joan’s books (plural) of her hate and anger against both the birth and adoptive families.
The first book ‘Forbidden Family, A Half Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism‘ published in 2009, was pulled from publication by the publisher in May 2011 due to libelous material in it. Then in 2015, she ‘self-published’ a ‘revised’ version calling it ‘Forbidden Family, an adoptee duped by adoption’, being her own editor and owner. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor! Then in 2016 Joan changed her name back to her birth name and reedited and republished the SAME crap in another book; a Third edition! CALLED ‘Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity’! Talk about conning people!
See my blogs and Facebook page
https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/ this blog’s title/sub title is… DUPED BY ADOPTION & AN WOMAN’S STRUGGLE FOR IDENTITY, A BOOK STUDY an in-depth analyzes of the books called Forbidden Family; My Life as an Adoptee Duped by adoption & An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity by Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel.