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Devastating effects?! That’s what JoanMWheeler/DorisMSippel tells ‘John’ in today’s #adoption lesson (5 of 6)

by on May 27, 2017

Joan/Doris says that adoptive parents NEED a wake up call! Let’s rephrase that statement. Joan/Doris NEEDS a wake up call!

The following ranting can be found via this link…

unfortunately this site is no longer available

here’s a list of the previous blogs on this ONE rant of her’s

BUT before we go any further I want to share

I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler (Doris Michol Sippel) says about me and family. The first book Forbidden Family, A Half Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism‘ was published in 2009 but then was pulled from publication by the publisher in May 2011, for libelous material within the book. Then in 2015, she ‘self-published’ a ‘revised’ version calling it ‘Forbidden Family, an adoptee duped by adoption’. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor! Then in 2016 Joan changed her name back to her birth name and rewrote and republished the SAME crap in another book; a Third edition! CALLED ‘Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity’! Talk about conning people!   this blog is titled Reclaiming the Sippel-Herr Family Honor

this blog’s title/sub title is… DUPED BY ADOPTION & AN WOMAN’S STRUGGLE FOR IDENTITY, A BOOK STUDY an in-depth analyzes of the books called Forbidden Family; My Life as an Adoptee Duped by adoption & An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity by Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel.

also see this Facebook page…

do check us out and now to continue…

Here Joan is using her ‘half-orphan’ name. My comments follow each paragraph of Joan’s.

Today’s adoption lesson is on … Submitted by half-orphan on Tue, 01/06/2009 – 02:10.

Joan said… the topic of the devastating effects of separating siblings!

Gert comments… she BELIEVES that we siblings have been damaged by HER adoption! That’s a bunch of bullshit! She has USED the birth family as hostages for her wrong-headed views of and about adoption. Her argument is one-sided and tainted with her misguided logic. She has slandered and libeled everyone in both birth and adoptive families. She should never be trusted!

Joan said…This is for John, and other adoptive parents who need a wake-up call. No baby, no child comes to you “a blank slate.” Each baby is born with memories of mother’s womb… her heartbeat, her voice, and birth brings smells, tastes, sounds, and sight. A baby knows…from inside, a baby can hear voices that are around. Father, siblings, other people. Music. When that baby is taken away, the resulting trauma is deep, and causes lifelong pain.

Gert comments…Yes Joan continues to browbeat poor John! Joan ‘speaks’ with false authority, which comes from reading too many books, on one topic, and identifying with each and every ‘condition’. Now I don’t totally dismiss the reality of this particular position of ‘blank slate’ BUT I do question Joan’s use of it. In that libelous book Joan went into great fictional details about HOW she remembered what her SIBLINGS were doing while Joan was in the WOMB. Unfortunately it was all made up, her tales were lies and fabrications! Just BECAUSE she believes it happened doesn’t mean it did. Joan ‘read’ about it in a book and therefore she wrote about her ‘experience’. Joan is into DRAMA and what her ‘inner self’ tells her. There is a very small amount of people who can ‘recall’ the womb. Joan is not one of them!

Joan said…For me, not only did I feel that loss, but my siblings did, too. Their ages were 9, 8, 6, and 3 when I was born and when Mom died. Those kids were helpless! In our separate ways, we’ve dealt with it all…one even ran away in her early 20s to another country! One sister got pregnant at age 17 to leave home, another was so emotionally distraught that she was hospitalized for several months. Our older brother ran off to join the military. We each did our time with drugs, drink, carelessness…And they held onto the thought that one day, they would find me.

Gert comments… Here are several lies! And she’s putting these lies on the internet without our permission or knowledge LONG before the book was published.

All kids are helpless for they all depend on others to care for them. But we were NOT helpless, we had family taking care of us. Joan’s separation and adoption did NOT harm us. What did was the hospitalization of our step-mother a couple of years AFTER our mother died!

Sibling that went to another country did NOT ran away! It was a carefully researched and a planned commitment that took YEARS to develop and was done as an ADULT, free to make own life decisions.

Sibling (me) got pregnant at 18, graduated from high school and got MARRIED NOT to leave home but to have my own home/family. I gave birth at ages 19 and 20. I was NOT living at home to begin with. I had been in foster care for 8 years and was of legal age when I graduated from HS and began my own life.

No sibling was hospitalized for several months, for any reason.

Sibling who went into the Marine Corp did NOT run off, but did so by personal choice and with the then ‘buddy’ system and with full support of our father! It was during the Vietnam War when there was an ACTIVE DRAFT. Hardly running away!

And Joan has this slander about her birth siblings; that we spend ‘time with drugs, drink, carelessness’ just who does she think she is portraying OTHER PEOPLE THIS WAY! She DOES NOT get the right to say that about us with immunity. How would you, the reader of this, feel is someone wrote all these things about YOU?

Everything Joan says about the birth family are lies!

And IF they were true…what right does Joan have for speaking about them? She doesn’t! She has her VIEW and she doesn’t care HOW it affects others. This is why that book she wrote is LIBELOUS and got pulled from publication. And remember she wrote this on the internet LONG before the book was published and WITHOUT our knowing about it.

Joan said…But the reunion didn’t make for fun and joy. Because all that sorrow spilled out into anger. They were mad at me for living and Mom dying. They were jealous that I had two parents and they did not. Oh, the relationships did’t start falling apart for several years, but, my stress, I was the one in the middle…crying all the time, deep depression, fear, and I was the baby. It was clear that I didn’t fit in because they grew up together and I was not with them. They grew to dislike me because I became an adoption activist. The more I wrote in the newpsaper, the more my relatives from both families complained that I should keep my mouth shut. Why? I’m not illegtimate so there’s not SHAME. They can have their family crests, but I can’t have mine.

Gert comments… Here is an example of how Joan’s ‘inner self’ dictates everything around her and how she projects it upon others (against their knowledge) and then believes her own bullshit. We were not mad at her, didn’t blame her, nor were we jealous. It was ALL her own behavior that got everyone upset with her.

It was HER sorrow that got in the way. I recall telling her many times to STOP attempting to REACH our mother’s soul! Let her RIP, but no Joan had to go to spiritualists to make ‘contact’. Joan’s mental stability, then and now, is NOT a result of being reunited with the birth family. Her behavior is a direct result from the way Joan was RAISED by the adoptive parents. Joan didn’t fit in, with the birth family, because her behavior was INAPPROPRIATE AND UNACCEPTABLE to everyone in the birth family. Joan does not know nor understand ‘personal boundaries’.

We didn’t care if she was an ‘activist’….only that she pestered everyone, taking notes, writing fabrications and then published our real names in an article (The Secret is Out) without gaining our permission. Myself, personally, I didn’t KNOW what she wrote in the newspaper for I moved away from Buffalo in 1982 and had ‘divorced’ myself from her AFTER she violated my parental rights, interfered with the minor children and called false child abuse on me because I ADOPTED my son!

Then AFTER decades of not knowing what she was doing I found that she published a libelous book. Joan NEVER takes responsibility for her own actions! Yes there is no ‘shame’ on Joan’s ‘birth’ but there is SHAME for how and why she writes about blood kin!

Joan said…I explained my feelings recently to an elderly woman: It’s like being bi-racial: neither side wants you. And she said, “I know. I’m half Asian and half white, no one wants me, either.”

Gert comments… Perhaps if Joan wasn’t such an idiot and stopped interfering in other people’s lives and didn’t fabricate tales, she may have been accepted!

Joan said…Prejudice exists. And it hurts.

Gert comments…Well for once she said something that’s correct! Such hurts have been felt by every member of the birth family because of Joan’s behavior to us.



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