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Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel tells us why she became ‘hateful’ about adoption (4 of 6)

This tirade of hate shows the ‘state of mind’ that Joan was in while she was doing the final script of that FIRST libelous book, Forbidden Family. All this ‘hate’, and more, was placed within the pages of that book! Yep, don’t ever interrupt Joan when she’s telling her script!

But first…here are the links to part one, two and three of this series of six

Then check the end of this post for updated information

Now to continue

The following rampage is one of several found on this link and is directed to ‘John’ from half-orphan (Joan Wheeler). Pay attention to how her emotions take over, as she writes. Besides the insulting and browbeating, it takes the form of misspellings due to her not paying attention to the typing. Her hate does over flows! She does not know that HOW she writes is just as important as the WHY.

Unfortunately this site is no longer available

And NOTE the date! Her first ‘book’ was not published until November 2009. Joan had been out on the internet from 2008 lying about the birth family and spreading her gospel of hate and anger.

I became “hateful”

Submitted by half-orphan on Mon, 01/05/2009 – 15:56.

Joan said… John,

I became “hateful” becasue of the treatment I received by my so-called loving adotpive family!!! I have no ill-will toward my father for giving me up because he was faced withthe death of his wife and the family they wanted. He was in grief and all that a stpid catholic priest could do was to convince my father that he needed to make sure I was taken care of by two parents. Oh? The other four children didn’t need two parents? Of course they did! But, they had to face the fact that Mom died, and baby sister disapearred. Yes, they faced all of that together, and then, years later, I get blamed for causing Mom to die! My father did the best he could do at the time. I have forgiven him for that, but they others may not have.

Gert comments…AH ‘the so-called loving adotpice family!!! (spelling is Joan’s) This is the PRIMARY source of her hate! It has long been believed, by the birth family, that Joan was ABUSED in the adoptive family. Joan learned how to ABUSE others via the adoptive mother. Joan’s behavior pattern was set in the ‘nurture’ from that woman.

Because Joan did NOT know how the birth family’s behaviors were, (what was acceptable and unacceptable behaviors and personal boundaries) she was always in constant tension with us. Our father did NOT allow the yelling and arguing behaviors that Joan has. He was not the docile hen-pecked husband/father as the adoptive father was. The adoptive father allowed his dominating wife to have her way and he remained silent when his wife and adoptive daughter yelled and screamed at each other and then later when they screamed and yelled at Joan’s children.

Just shortly AFTER Joan wrote this comment, around June of 2009, our father KICKED her out of his LIFE after she insulted and attempted to ‘con’ him for monies (car repairs and publishing the book)! Everyone in the birth family had KICKED her out of their lives because of the abusive behaviors that Joan exhibited to us all. And Joan blames us!

When Joan writes about ‘how’ she was placed into adoption, she is repeating a story-line that is FIXED in her brain. She just will NOT accept the truth of the matter. Her truth is NOT THE TRUTH. All she does is PROJECT her ‘vision’ of what happened, gleamed from asking questions over decades, from various birth family members. She has a mish-mase of details that get woven by her and come out tainted with her bias! She also ASSUMES to know what is in the minds of others!

Joan said… What would have happened to me if my adoptive parents weren’t there? Oh, here comes the grateful adoptee routine!!! Dance step one: there were other couples who wanted to adopt me, there were other couples who wanted to adopt my brother and sisters, too. Let’s not go down this road, John, I outsmart any adoptive parent. Don’t forget, I’m the lucky bastard, no orphan, who was “saved” and “rescued” and therefore, owe all my allegance and respecct to the adoptive parents who made all the sacrifices? Oh, I’ve heard it all while growing up. And yes, my adoptive father appologized for keeping the secret from me, but his siblings, me dear sweet adoptive uncles an aunts were the vicious ones who attacked me for accepting a phone call out of the blue and accepting my natural famly back into my life.

Gert comments…here we see how Joan mocks people and circumstances. She doesn’t ‘get it’ that that mocking turns people OFF. There really does come a point in one’s life where they must become grateful (for life itself) or they perish! Joan’s SOUL is dead because she can NOT be grateful for the LIFE she has. No wonder she is depressed all the time. Plus she’s ‘full of herself’…she can ‘outsmart any adoptive parent’…only because she wants to abolish adoption and has nothing but contempt for anyone who adopts.

Sure that adoptive family seems to have been quite un-accepting and cruel to Joan but that is NO reason for why Joan went AFTER each and every member of the birth family and her continuous attacking of others who adopt.

Joan said… It is not easy living life as a True life Truman Show — all of my relatives knew the truth except me. NO ONE has the right to control another human like that! And when I realized that they all ganged up on me, then I lost respect for them. But a handful of relatives actually love me. The othyers played games with me and the knowledge they had of my other family.

Gert comments… If there is one thing I’ve learned from this adoption of Joan is…NO ONE, in either birth or adoptive family, should ever KNOW the identity of each other. There is no question that Joan has some synapses that are not working right or are not connected correctly, for she is so paranoid! So others KNEW what she didn’t know! Get a grip! Perhaps they were nasty and cruel, some people are! And because Joan ‘fights’ with anyone who doesn’t agree with her, I can see just how they would ‘gang’ up on her!

Joan certainly didn’t make her life any better by putting into writing all her hate and anger in that lousy book! Her purpose was to use herself as an example of why adoption is bad! And, at the same time make monies from the book (that libels both families) AND become a ‘known’ author who would do book-tours and conventions AND have a movie made of her life! No wonder she hates the birth siblings NOW because she can’t use us anymore!

I would so like to know how the adoptive family viewed that book. I’m sure there are many that approved of our (birth siblings) actions that got the book pulled from publication.

Joan said… Yes, end adoption now! Closed, sealed adoption is desctructive. Legal guardianship is a much better avenue that not only respects the family of origin, but also gives a child in need of care a family to live with. Don’t tell me I don’t know anything about this. I know people who were raised in foster care and released into the world without ever seeing a family, but a series of of foster homes. And I do know poeple who were raised in guardianship by grandparents.

Gert comments… This is Joan’s position! End adoption! Sorry but guardianship within a birth family, like ours, doesn’t always present itself or it is unacceptable! This is what Joan refuses to accept! Our father said, that if he could NOT raise her NO ONE in the family would raise her! His second wife refused to take the infant Joan, therefore the only option WAS adoption. Period, end of story. But Joan is only interested in abolishing adoption!

Joan said… But, you ask about my family.Correction, my adoptive parents did not step forward. They were investigated by an attorney hired by my father. My adoptive parents did a home study, my mother had to quit her job to stay home with me, and they had to submit financial papers and church papers. They did not step up to anything. My father chose them for his reasons, which he told me about after our reunion. I would have been adopted, or in guardianship, with any of several other couples who were there at the time. My godparents were taking care of me before I was placed in my pre-adoptive home.

Gert comments… yes, Joan’s godparents were taking care of her along with their own children! They and others in my mother’s family wanted to ‘adopt’ Joan as well as two other siblings. That is WHEN my father said NO to guardianship and/or adoption within the birth families! Like I said, he said that if he could NOT raise her NO ONE in the family would raise her! He was NOT giving up all his children, he just was UNABLE to care for the last infant. Why? Because of woman he married, 3 months after the first wife died, refused to take the infant. Sorry if anyone has a problem with that, but that was what happened! People have to make difficult choices in life and children in particular ought to attempt to understand the decisions made by their parents.

As far as what adoptive parents must go through before adopting…it all depends on the state’s procedures. I adopted my own son with second husband. The child was over age 14 and had to give own permission to be adopted! We had home studies and background checks and we both had long standing jobs.

When Joan violated my parental rights, during my adoption process, and she called false child abuse upon me and filed for ‘custody’. I requested a home study done on HER. She failed! Her hands are dirty! No one ought to deal with her! That is why I speak out and up about her behavior!

Joan said… Keep in mind, John, the way I was raised was hateful in itself. Because my adoptive mother never wanted me to know the truth. Her hatred, her possissiveness over me, and her contolling my every move influenced how other relative behaved behind my back. Manipulative, cunning, deceitful, not loving at all. Howver, the aunts and uncles who were very loving to me also had blended families of their own — divorce and remarrage with two sets of siblings, yes, from these families there was love, and inclusive love, recognizing the other divorved and remarried parent as being a parent, too, and the other children being our cousins, too.

Gert comments… Here’s the admission… Joan was raised with hate via the adoptive mother! Luck of the draw! That parent was what the Fates made for Joan! No one has a say in the birth/life cycle they have. All anyone can do is ‘deal with what you have’.

I’m not saying that that adoptive mother was right in her actions and beliefs. I am acknowledging the negative behaviors that she was raised with. Point is, if Joan recognizes it, then it is her responsibility to NOT do the same behavior! Again, no one is immune from negative behaviors in their childhood. But, everyone has a responsibility, in adulthood, ONCE they recognize that behavior, to change their own behavior, to the betterment. Joan never has and still uses and exploits the behavior of the adoptive mother as a tool to do the same negative behavior to others.

Joan said… I never said that you weren’t a father, John, and it’s good that you got the original birth certificates for your boys. WOW! Congratulations! Other adoptive parents have told me: and yes, I could send you a scanned copy of the photo of an adoptive mother and the article in which she says, “We adopted from a foreign country, it is a fringe benefit that our child will never know the birthparents.” THAT is possessive, manipulative and typical of adoptive parents who display the “Me, Me, Me” attitude. Rather, mine, mine all mine!

Gert comments… So why does Joan feel she has to get all bend out of shape over some adoption in a foreign country? Why can’t she stay in her own back yard? Because she NEEDS to keep feeding her hate and anger! She pretty much has exhausted the home market; her name is known as a hater so people turn a deaf ear to her rants. Even since the birth family became her victims (again) via that libelous book, we have exposed her and many ‘named’ reformers have been distancing from Joan, who carries too much bad garbage.

Joan said… Yes, go ahead and use your 37 year old adoptee for your proof that not all adoptees have my “focus”. That’s true. I’ve heard it all. Nothing you say is new to me. Nothing! Adoptees who have the attitude toward thier natural parents that your son has, do not know what would happen should they be contacted. I suspect that if your son would be contacted, he’d be mad at his natural mother and father for giving him away. He doesn’t know their circumstances, so he can’t give an answer to why he was released for adoption. If he should ever want to know, the records should be open for him to request them without prejudice.

Gert comments… So yes, Joan knows what others think of her and her ‘focus’ but she doesn’t care, she’s right and the whole world is wrong!

Joan said… Yes, according to the Catholic Church, I still am Doris Sippel. That is the name I was baptised with. And, three years after I was baptised, the Catholic Church wrote a falsified baptismal certificate for my adoptive parents in my adoptive name so I could attend school. However, from an adoptee’s point of view, my baptism wasn’t even respected. If you know anything at all about being Catholic, you know that in order to become a nun or a priest, or even to get married, one must use the name given at baptism. When I got married, I had both a Catholic priest and a protestant minister and I used both of my names, one religiously recognized, and one legally recognized.

Gert comments… and according to the Catholic church etc is why I eventually took my soul back from them! What does it matter if the church still thinks I’m ‘married’ to someone I divorced? Who cares what they think anyway. This type of argument is all irrelevant! If Joan used two priests it was only for her sense of drama. She does things like that; drama queen!

Joan said… If what I’m reading from you now is, that you tried to get all documents of birth for your adoptees, then you did what you could to secure personal information for your children who are also the children of two other parents. But then, you defend a birthmother’s right to remain anonymous, or say that adoptees have no right to “disturb” her. Makes no sense.

Gert comments… Joan doesn’t make sense! As always, she sees things from ‘the adoptee’s’ point of view and then doesn’t give the other the same right to view things from ‘their’ point of view!

Joan said… My adoptive parents were never given the respect due them from my full blood siblings. In 1974, there were no support groups, no books, no search consultants to give searching advice, and no reunion consultants to give advice. My siblings did bardge in on my life, and the lives of my adoptive parents. Even though I was 18, and of legal age to be an adult, no one seemed to care about our nuclear famly. My siblings just wanted to know their baby sister, they waited for 18 years to contact me. But they did so without taking into consideration the feelings of my adoptive parents, nor did they care about our father’s wishes.

Gert comments… ok, the birth siblings are guilt as charged! Yes, the four of us made a decision, without consulting our father, but did consult with an adoption agency and a lawyer who both said we, siblings, were legally able to contact our sibling. We siblings discussed whether or not to include Dad and we decided not to. Because I am the oldest it was deemed that I should make that ‘first contact’. Joan is always stuck on ‘there was no’ what ever. Her circumstances/situation is no different from any other’s. In my life I can point to many ‘there was no’ what ever available. That was then, this is now!

Joan said… The first contact should not have been from the oldest sibling to the youngest. For that action, I paid dearly. My sister created a fire storm in my nuclear family for contacting me by phone. Years later, my father tearfully told me it should have been up to him. His adult children did not give him respect to ask, “Gee, Dad, what do you think we could do? What’s the best way to approach this. She may not know (and I didn’t) that she has sisters and brothers and we shouldn’t scare her or intrude upon her life.”

Gert comments…It’s always so easy to determine ‘what should have been done’ when YOU are NOT the person that made a decision, right or wrong. If it’s any comfort, we birth siblings TODAY know that contacting Joan was the WORST mistake we ever did, for she has caused us all a great of pain.

Joan said… But, no, my father was left out of the decision to contact me. My adoptive parents would have responded differently had they been contacted by my father. After all, the three of them were in court together several times arranging for my adoption. They were not strangers to each other.

Gert comments… Perhaps! but that isn’t what happened. What ifs are useless!

Joan said… In fact, in the early days of reunion, my two fathers shook hands, played cards, talked of old times, and relaxed into the situation. My mother (adoptive) did not have another mother to shake hands with, so she could not see and touch my natural mother. THis lead my adoptive mother into fears that I’d run away.

Gert comments… That fear, in the adoptive mother, was there long before Joan was adopted. I doubt very much that my father spent any significant time with the adopted parents discussing old times. This is just another one of Joan fantasies.

Joan said… I have a step mother, too, who has been nothing but in the middle, taking the brunt of typical stepmother treatment from my siblings. I was not raised with her or by her, and my siblings did treat her unkindly. By the time I came into the family, she had been married to my father for several years. She’s accepted me into her family and her heart, and I to her.

Gert comments… Excuse me! Joan is lying here big-time. There was NO brunt of typical stepmother treatment from my siblings! That is another example of pure Joan fantasy. If Joan wasn’t raised by our stepmother how does Joan KNOW how she was treated? The libelous book had many elaborate ‘episodes’ of ‘drama’ related to how our family interacted together and with her; all of which were totally wrong and made up for the sensational aspects that Joan always goes after!

Joan said… While my adoptive mother has always treated me with condesension and spitfullness, she does love me, and I her. It is a difficult relationship because adoption took a turn she didn’t know how to cope with. Most adoptees are from “illegitmate” beginnings. But mine was not, therefore, Mom didn’t know what to do. She, herself, is a half orphan raised in an orphange. But her father didn’t allow any of his children to be adopted out. His wife, their mother, died young, at age 24.

Gert comments… Everyone has a background that informs their behavior and future decisions.

Joan said… The trap of adoption is that “the adoptee is never supposed to know”. My mother knew about her deceased mother, I was not supposed to know anything about my deceased mother. What’s the difference? The difference is the faking of a birth certifcate and the social implications of that lie.

Gert comments… ‘trap of adoption’? It’s only a trap if one feels the cage! If only Joan would let go of her hate and anger!

Joan said… I am a social worker, John, I may not have a Masters Degree, nor do I have a PhD, but I do have a Bachelors and I do know adoption psychology, sociology, and adoption law.

Gert comments… But she’s NEVER had a real job as one! She is unqualified to give anyone counseling because of her various mental instabilities, that she herself documents! She also states that she CAN NOT work because of her mental instabilities. All she can do is browbeat people on various web sites. Would you ‘want’ Joan as your social worker?

Joan said… When you claim you have to defend the “rights” of natural parents, then you are stepping out of bounds. You are an adoptive father, not a natural father. You don’t know how natural parents feel or what they want. You certainly cannot speak for adoptees, either.

Gert comments… See what I mean? She is taking this guy to task for his ‘right’ to think and act on his own. Just as Joan said her siblings ‘were out of bounds’, so too is this guy! Image Joan as a ‘social-worker’ telling a client this! and you paying for it! Joan did this to ME! I was the natural parent and she VIOLATED my parental rights by insisting that I was doing ‘great harm’ to my child by ADOPTING him!

Joan said… I have my civil rights to defend and gain back. You have yours already. Be thankful for what you have, I still have yet to be respected from Surrogate’s Court.

Gert comments… Condescending attitude! She mocks this guy with ‘be thankful’ while she refuses to be thankful for what she HAS… a life!

Joan said… By the way, my mother will be 93 in a few weeks. Last week, we were talking about adoptees’ rights. Last December, Mom saw Senator Benoit (Illinois, I think, or Maine?) on TV as an adoptee speaking up for open access to her own birth records. Mom got jealous, for me, saying, “Why aren’t you on TV?” I told her that we all do what we can in the legal battle for adoptees rights.

Gert comments… Joan is incapable of being on TV or any public venue because she rants and raves so much that she would be pulled off camera! Joan believes she is helping the ’cause’ via her browbeating pro-adoption people but she is turning people off.

Joan said… Mom said, “You are right, I did not give birth to you. I missed all of that.” That was December 2007. A few days ago, New Years Day 2009, Mom said, “What about a compromise? How about a birth certificate/adoption certificate showing both sets of parents?” Well, parts of Australia already do that, but give adoptive parents the right to nix any birth information at all. Therefore, the only good solution is to have one, and only one, birth certificate, and one, and only one, adoption certificate that tells the truth of how adoptive parents became parents. With the truth told on documents, there is no room for social lying and sabotage of relationships that accompanies closed adoption.

Gert comments… Part of this response, of Joan’s, sounds too ‘composed’…like what she says that my father ‘said’ and how her libelous book said and the ‘party-line’ that Joan and others speak. I know enough about Joan, and her writings, to spot the ‘composed’ line of bullshit. This is HOW she gets her ‘script’ out there, by conning people into thinking that the ‘story’ she is telling is correct!

I’m not an expert and don’t pretend to be one, on adoption. I do feel that medical information ought to be available upon request and perhaps parentages. To do that, the information must be available before adoption and perhaps kept within Vital Statics.

Joan said… Adoptive parents become parents by a legal contract, not by conception and birth, therefore, no adoptive parents names belong on an falsified birth certificate.

Gert comments… only in the adoptee’s mind does this make sense!

Joan said… As for those emotional relatiomships between adoptive parents and their adotpees: if the adoptive parents give love, courtesy, respect to the pershonhood of the children they adopt, then the child will reciprocate. But if that child was treated with mixed messages, as I was, then the adoptee is left feeling used.

Gert comments… you know what?? parents, of any kind, are just humans. We all grow up and before we know it, get involved over our heads. We all are living ‘by the seat of our pants’. Joan wants upotia! Never will happen in the world of humans.

Joan said… I was used for display. I was the perfect daughter, the spoiled child, the one who was envied by my cousins because they had to share everything, but I was an only child and my parents showered me with nice dressees, Catholic private school, a nice house in the suburbs and a nice yard. yes, my cousins were jealous because they didn’t have what I had: physical pampering. But that backfired on me and my adoptive parents. IF they had treated my past, and my family of origin with respect, and my right to know, then they would not have been upset at the prospect of my reunion with natural family.

Gert comments… this nonsense is the product of Joan’s ‘point of view’, which backfired on her with her adoptive family and her birth family…because…Joan NEVER stopped for a second to ask anyone HOW THEY FELT. Joan has always lived via her ‘inner self’. By the nature of a ‘inner self’, IT doesn’t communicate with others. Joan never told anyone, at any given moment, what she was feeling. And she wonders why no one ‘understands’ her. Joan NEVER gave anyone respect yet she demands that SHE gets respect!

Joan said… John, this is just a small synopsis fo what really happened. How in the hell do you expect me to feel when a cousin, whom I played with as a child, treats me with hatred at my (adoptive) father’s funeral? To tell me that I “openly declare that I have two fathers and that I don’t belong at my father’s funeral” is the most cruel comment coming from an adoptive relative!

Gert comments… ‘small synopsis’ ??? Joan is still talking to a stranger here, who probably left her rant a long time ago! And people think that we of the birth family are strange! We only refute and set right the lies and garbage that Joan has said OUT THERE long before we KNEW about it.

Joan said… Years later, I had to have my adoptive uncle (whose real name is John) arrested for sending me hate mail for 25 years…he was caught and faced jail time. I saved the annonymous leters, the handwritting matched and the police arrested him. The police and lawyers wanted to know why he did what he did. The answer: because he believed that I was disloyal toward his older brother, my adoptive father, for “carrying on” a reunion with my blood kin! The police and lawyers shook their heads. “What’s it to him, what you do? It’s your life, if you want a reunion with blood kin, fine, he doesn’t have the right to harass you, send you hate mail, or mock you.”

Gert comments… Even here, on a net web site, Joan puts out the real name of an adoptive relative. Joan’s adoptive name is Wheeler, the uncle is Wheeler and his real name is John. Nice going there Joan. Just like she wrote a non-fiction book (that means a true story) and published the REAL family names and other vital information and then proceeded to ‘construct’ a fictional (that means non-truth) story. That is why her book is libelous and pulled from publication!

And BEFORE she got the goods on this uncle, she BLAMED us the birth sisters! The way Joan states here, about HOW the police and lawyers behaved and what they said…is PURE JOANISMS. That’s just how she portrayed what police said about the birth siblings! All of it pure fabrication from Joan’s diseased mind. No REAL police officer or lawyer would state what Joan says they said. That’s another reason why her book was libeous…she PUT words in people’s mouths that they never said; that called misrepresenting the truth.

Joan said… And that’s my point, John. If adoptees want to get their birth certificate or to have a reunion with blood kin, that is their right to do whatever they want to do in this free country. If the person contacted does not want a reunion, and that person says no, than the adoptee making contact has the resposibilty to back off, but in no way should any person be banned from their record of birth.

Gert comments… it’s up to this ‘free’ country’s lawmakers to give adoptees’ their rights! It is NOT Joan’s browbeating people that will do that. She doesn’t live via her own standards! She REFUSED to ‘back off’ and get away and stay away from members of the birth family, particularly after she harmed them. Joan violated, as in this comment before the book was published, the privacy of the entire birth family.

Joan said… Respect, respect, respect. Responsibilty, responsiblity, responsibility. Adults act like adults, but my 75year old Uncle sent hate mail to me in care of my church! And you call ME hateful! Wrong!

Gert comments… Yep the guy was wrong! And Joan’s actions are wrong as well!

Joan said… My 25 year old son is here now. I need to spend time with him.

Gert comments… Joan should have spend time with both her children while they were young instead of causing trouble with various birth family members! She didn’t because she was ALWAYS writing that libelous book! And why should ‘John’ care whether Joan’s son is there or not? Drama!

Joan said… Oh, by the way, no two dads on a falsified birth certifcate, either, nor two moms. Gay rights to marry, fine, people have the right to marry who they want to marry, as long as they don’t hurt anyone in the process. Putting two names on a falsified birth certificate is immoral, unethical, it is legal, but shouldn’t be. Lying on vital statics documents is a crime against nature, and the person who’s birth is supposed to be on record!

Gert comments… Who decides whether ‘they don’t hurt anyone in the process’? Who decided that Joan’s actions against the birth siblings was the right thing to do? Joan always acts as a judge and jury on anything. It’s ‘legal’ but it shouldn’t be! What an ass!

Joan said… Joan

Gert comments… yep she told ‘John’ off alright! Just like she told the birth family. She is the dictator.

and now I want to share

I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler (Doris Michol Sippel) says about me and family. The first book Forbidden Family, A Half Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism‘ was published in 2009 but then was pulled from publication by the publisher in May 2011, for libelous material within the book. Then in 2015, she ‘self-published’ a ‘revised’ version calling it ‘Forbidden Family, an adoptee duped by adoption’. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor! Then in 2016 Joan changed her name back to her birth name and rewrote and republished the SAME crap in another book; a Third edition! CALLED ‘Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity’! Talk about conning people!   this blog is titled Reclaiming the Sippel-Herr Family Honor

this blog’s title/sub title is… DUPED BY ADOPTION & AN WOMAN’S STRUGGLE FOR IDENTITY, A BOOK STUDY an in-depth analyzes of the books called Forbidden Family; My Life as an Adoptee Duped by adoption & An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity by Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel.

also see this Facebook page…

do check us out

In addition…see the ‘discussion’ forums, on Amazon, for two of the books. The first book has one review and several comments related.

Forbidden Family: My Life as an Adoptee Duped by Adoption forum

Joan Mary Wheeler forum

review of first book and 4 comments


Dear Adoption, You Erased Me

Source: Dear Adoption, You Erased Me

Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel says ‘comments from my adopted family made me realize just how twisted they really were’

OKAY, just because a family ‘adopts’ doesn’t make them twisted! Just because family members have different opinions and views doesn’t make them twisted! Adoption is not an evil. Some people can be and are evil! It is always people that make things bad, ugly or evil…NOT a concept or institution.

OBVIOUSLY Joan/Doris is twisted; by her hate and anger!

Adoption DOESN’T mean the same thing to EVERYONE! That is just what the problem Joan/Doris has with being adopted! She CAN’T get everyone to see it FROM HER VIEW POINT. Regardless of what Joan or others want, to eliminate adoption from the world, that will NEVER happen!

Okay…looking at it ‘from’ her point of view, she MAY HAVE gotten a rotten adoptive family, who were very insensitive. But, knowing Joan as I do, Joan, herself, is very insensitive and is quite rotten in her own right and dishes it out like the best of them! Joan/Doris is not an angel.

Joan’s birth family, the same that I come from, is not all THAT SENSITIVE to certain topics, opinions and members within our family. Is any family FREE from insensitive members? I doubt it! FAMILY IS MESSY! NO family is free from negative people or thoughts. Adoption is not the cause of NEGATIVE PEOPLE OR THOUGHTS; PEOPLE ARE.

Of course, I and others, can and do see the hurtful things that others say about and to adoptees but you know…adoptees are NOT the only ‘type’ of people that have ever gotten negative/hurtful statement thrown at them! These ‘sensitive’ adoptees need to grow some thicker skin and get on with their lives!

After our mother died and our first step-mother was hospitalized, I and my other siblings were placed in orphan and foster homes! We were all subjected to similar statements and taunts. I could rant and rave over all the horrible mean-spirited negative put-downs that I heard over my lifetime, about being an orphan, a ward of the state, etc etc, but what would that accomplish? NOTHING! I have learned HOW to be a better person BECAUSE of having to live with those taunts! I’ve learned that HUMAN NATURE is one that I can NOT change; I can only change MYSELF.

Joan/Doris ought to put on sack-cloth and ashes and do more self-flagellations so she may feel more alive for she certainly can’t find ONE THING pleasant in life to talk about! She is over 60 NOW…and it’s high time that she learns that the only thing she has CONTROL over and CAN CHANGE, is HERSELF. If she is unwilling to do that she ought to shut the fuck up!

Found on an adoptee Facebook page

Martha Shideler‘s post.
November 4 at 8:00am

I realized, as a result of this election year, how important negative people and people who disagree with me have been in my life. As an adoptee who wanted to find my birth family from the time I was a small child, I was beset by negativity. In fact the only person who supported me in my need to know was my adoptive mother! Everyone else was critical, negative, downright insulting. I was told such things as, “She didn’t want you then, she doesn’t want you now.” “You have no right to search.” “If it were a good thing for you to know, it wouldn’t be against the law.” “You think you come from royalty when you actually were just the product of some slut who didn’t want you.” “You are an ungrateful brat who doesn’t appreciate how good a family you have.” “Why don’t you show your adoptive parents you love them instead of trying to hurt them.” At first I was devastated by these comments and believed I truly was a horrible child to have these thoughts and feelings. And then, as I got older, I critically examined every one of those comments (which continued even after I had grown up and left home), and discovered they were either downright lies or the twisted attempts of sick people to control what I thought, felt, did. And, as a result, every one of those comments helped me clarify my purpose, and strengthen my resolve. If it weren’t for them, I might never have had the persistence to actually find my birth families.  November 5, 2016


Doris Michol Sippel Exactly. For me, those comments from my adopted family made me realize just how twisted they really were. They didn’t love me, they loved the thought of adoption itself. This was extended family.  November 5 at 4:38pm

End of exchange


BUT NOW let’s just take a closer look at what Martha said…

And, as a result, every one of those comments helped me clarify my purpose, and strengthen my resolve.


Why is IT that Joan/Doris doesn’t and can’t do the same thing! Because Joan can’t let go of her hate and anger…that is the only thing that keeps her alive! Joan was FOUND, by the birth family, and that (being found) is what set Joan’s adoptive family off! Joan BLAMES the birth siblings, for setting in motions, events for those negative people/comments to be said by her adoptive family members!

Joan/Doris really does need to LET IT GO

Now to remind people…the history of Joan’s books (plural) of her hate and anger against both the birth and adoptive families.

The first book Forbidden Family, A Half Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism‘ published in 2009, was pulled from publication by the publisher in May 2011 due to libelous material in it. Then in 2015, she ‘self-published’ a ‘revised’ version calling it ‘Forbidden Family, an adoptee duped by adoption’, being her own editor and owner. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor! Then in 2016 Joan changed her name back to her birth name and reedited and republished the SAME crap in another book; a Third edition! CALLED ‘Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity’! Talk about conning people!

See my blogs and Facebook page     this blog’s title/sub title is… DUPED BY ADOPTION & AN WOMAN’S STRUGGLE FOR IDENTITY, A BOOK STUDY an in-depth analyzes of the books called Forbidden Family; My Life as an Adoptee Duped by adoption & An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity by Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel.




Doris M Sippel/Joan M Wheeler doesn’t care about ethics! She just exposes & exploits two families with her hate!

ethics in writing memoirs…

duped by adoption & an woman's Struggle for Identity, a book study

Are there ethics when writing a ‘memoir’? How does someone exam their own reasons for exposing ‘all’ and how do they know their reasons are sound? What do the experts say?

I’ve read many authors and writing experts on tips for writing, in general and memoirs in particular and for the most part they all present solid reasons and tips. Many memoir writers don’t care about what the experts say, or anyone for that matter, because they are only interested in continuing on with their own HATE agendas.

Seen on Twitter…

Linda Joy Myers Ph.D ‏@MemoirGuru  24 Dec 2016

When you put real people in your memoir, even if the portraits are positive, it’s good form to notify them.  #memoir


So I clicked on the link provided and got an error message.

But the post can be seen on these following links

Here now is…

View original post 1,388 more words

Don’t take that bone, of contention, away from mad-dog Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel! (3 of 6)

When Joan/Doris sets her sights on a pro-adoption person she just can’t let them and it alone! I’ve written about several comments left by Joan on this site…

Unfortunately is that site is no longer available.

Here are the links to part one and two of this series of six


So well, here is another of her rampages, under her name half-orphan. (all spellings within her comments are hers) My comments will begin with Gert says.

my rights to my birth record are my civil rights

Submitted by half-orphan on Mon, 01/05/2009 – 13:33.

Hi Anneadoptee, Hi also to Marjorie,

One would think that it would be easier to request and receive our sealed records after even one week or one day being reunited, but for some reason, our lives are treated by The Gate Keepers as if we are poison.

Gert says… First here’s a definition of gatekeeper;

A gatekeeper is a human who controls access to something, for example via a city gate. In the late 20th century the term came into metaphorical use, referring to individuals who decide whether a given message will be distributed by a mass medium.

So obviously she believes that adoptees are victims of society’s ‘ignorance’ of the adoptees’ plight. Nice touch there, saying that adoptees are ‘poison’. Yep, Joan is great with adjectives!

half-orphan says..

In 1985, 9 years after reunion, I petitioned Surrogate’s Court of Erie County, New York, for my adoption papers. The guy with the control, opened up the records, partially. At that point, he said, and he wasn’t a judge, I was “entitled” only to the Final Order of Adoption. I, being the grateful little adoptee, sat there as this jerk read all of the other papers…glancing through, he spotted my adoptive father’s name and said, “good man, he must be proud to have you as his adopted daughter.” yeah, I felt like sying, “Yeah, he WAS, he’s only been dead now for 3 years,” but I didn’t say anything. As if, my adoptive father’s pride meant anything at all. It didn’t. I was there as an adult of 29 years. The transaction had nothing to do with a minor child asking permission from any parent, NO, I was there acting on my own behalf!

Gert says…

Yes, her mocking ways are a bit difficult to grasp, you have to read it more than once to finally get through all her sarcasm! She hates anyone ‘in or with control’ because that means that she is ‘their’ victim! So…’the guy with the control’…’who wasn’t a judge’…told her she’s ‘entitled’ ONLY to…

Joan has no conception that the ‘worker-bees’ are just DOING their jobs according to the rules governing their job/position.

In that libelous book, she tells about how she ‘tracked’ down the parish priest who signed the ‘false’ baptismal certificate BUT he was in a nursing home dying so she left him to ‘meet his maker’! Kid you NOT! Just like the guy she mentions here, he and the priest, are just worker-bees and YET they are subjected to Joan’s berating, insulting and condemnations!

This phrase, ‘the grateful little adoptee’, is a form of torture in Joan’s mind as well as in other adoptees. Well the GREATESS gift anyone can give to themselves is to say THANK YOU. But, to certain types of personalities, like Joan, they are NOT thankful of HAVING a life! They hate their life and therefore will never be happy.

Note how she dismissed the adoptive father’s role in HER life! The man was lucky to have died early, at least he was spared the wrath of Joan’s hate into his nineties as the adoptive mother endured!

half-orphan says..

Look you people! The way Americans view adoptees is pathetic! We are not trash, nor are we possessions, nor are we splitting loyalties if we seek our birth and adoption records. We are humans and deserve to be treated with respect due US. We are not slaves, indentured servants, nor are we members of one family only. Adoptees have two sets of real parents. That means, respect given to our ancestors, including our parents who gave us life, and respect given to our adoptive parents. BUT, when do these two sets of parents give US respect? We are told by “protectors” of the rights of “unwed mothers” that we must respect their privacy, but no one says that our parents must respect us.

Gert says…

The great and wonderful Joan has commanded the ‘people’s attention’! She WANTS respect, but doesn’t give anyone else RESPECT. Why does she think adoptees are slaves and indentured servants? Of course there are bad people doing bad things to other people, happens all the time, but to equate adoption with these qualifications LIMITS good things about adoption and puts it into the garbage dump. To Joan and those like her, adoption is an evil! They see the rest of the world through that lens! Joan wants what she denies others!

half-orphan says..

There is Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, but no Children’s Respect Day, or, better yet, how about Adoptees’ Respect Day?

Gert says…

How about lobbying Hallmark Cards or the United States Congress? Only they can make that happen.

half-orphan says..

Indigenous peoples the world over have deep respect for ancestors, for they are the ones who propegated the planet. Who we are today is a direct result of biological inheritance: what we look like and our unique body chemistry is inherited. That tie is sacred. For those of you who think that natural parents need protection from the very offspring they created and released into the world, think again! And be grateful for the parents YOU have, because, if you (john) had to face any or all of the injustices we adoptees have to face, you’d crumble from the stress and strain, the psychological torture, and the physical trap. Look into the mirror and be glad (John and all who want to defend “hiding” “birthmothers” that you can look into the mirror and know from where you get your eyes, your nose, and that immune system that has just given you an autoimmune disease requireing extensive medical care.

Gert says…

While I agree that there are some ‘good’ arguments for open records and release of medical information the way Joan goes about ‘informing’ people actually puts them OFF. And when she singles someone out, in this case ‘John’, she is making her statement PERSONAL; that is ALWAYS a receipt for not being heard! Never make it, your social cause, personal! Joan has no training in people skills or sensitivity of other’s feelings. Here it is obvious that Joan is attacking John because he is defending the other, which Joan hates! Joan and her opinions are what matters, only! Also note how in her anger she misspells and forgets capitalizations.

half-orphan says..

Us poor slobs known as adoptees (even after reunion because our bllod kin is afraid to give us informationon their medical issues due to HIPPA laws)have to tell doctors that “I’m adopted” and therefore, cannot possibly give you extensive, multi-level and cross-level charts of who-has-what. No, our parents, all of them, owe US respect and courtesy and honor.

Gert says…

Gee!! She can’t even have nice words to say about herself and fellow adoptees! Joan got her medical information FROM the birth family, yet she STILL denies what it says. Why? Because she has a story-line and the TRUTH, of the medical information, does not fit her story line! Again, she wants respect, courtesy and honor from the birth family! The very things she DENIES the birth family and others who adopt or who are pro-adoption! Two-faced, forked tongue idiot!

half-orphan says..

We have to go through life battling the whims and opinions of others, who think they have the right to open there mouths and spill out, “I think that adoptees should…” or, “Well, my friend adopted a girl from China and…” Who the f… cares? NO one gives plumbers or carpenters or auto mechanics their opinions right from the start of every conversation on how to do their jobs! Why does the general public think we give a damn about their opinions on our state of life? Do these opinions do anything at all? NO.

Gert says…

Why does she ‘battle’ so? Because that’s all she knows how to do! She has never learned that the whims and opinions of others do NOT define one’s self! She has no inner peace because she is full of hate. She can NOT accept the life that she has! And, as she continues spitting her hate out, she continues to spin out and out of control! HER opinions do nothing at all? Her opinions DO NOT change others’ opinions. And that is what and why she continues to do BATTLE. She NEEDS to stop browbeating people because she doesn’t agree with their opinions! She NEEDS to stop TELLING pro-adoption people WHAT THEY SHOULD BE THINKING AND DOING.

half-orphan says..

The only ones to actually do anything about prejudice against adoptees are other adoptees (and natural parents) who understand the deeper levels of prejudice. There are many ignorant adoptees who claim that the only parents they have are the ones who raised them, well, for these opinion-makers, I feel so much insulted by them. They try to inflict their denial onto me, and other adoptees.

Gert says…

Joan is mixing several ‘themes’ here together, no wonder people can’t understand her. She is allowing her inner tormentS out in a mixed bag of confusion. She is ‘insulted’ by other adoptees who obviously DON’T believe as she does! Poor thing! She hates this ‘other type of adoptee’ perhaps more for INFLICTING their denial onto her! What a fucked up mess Joan is! Joan believes that adoptees that accept their ‘condition’ of adoption and their adoptive parents as being IGNORANT.

half-orphan says..

Every adoptee has two sets of real parents! Everyone on the planet needs to accept that fact of life for adoptees. Accept that, and then we can proceed to the next step: give adoptees back our civil rights to the documents of our births and adoption. The general public need not have access to these records, but we, the victims of closed, sealed adoption, do need access to our own records.

Gert says…

Here we hear Joan’s authoritative pronouncement; everyone on the planet MUST accept what Joan says and THEN we can proceed to the next step! Holy Shit! Shaking in my boots.

half-orphan says..

Thanks for Reading this, and yes, in time, I’ll check into other’s websites and blogs…got a lot of reading to do!

Gert says…

How does she know that anyone reads her ranting? The only things she reads is about adoption and she wants the entire planet to read the same as she does.

half-orphan says..

John, open your mind to the experiences of adoptees who know more of life as adoptees than you do, or that your adopted children know at this point. Don’t shove your beliefs and opinions at us adoptees. Mind your own business, stay out of mine. I’m fighting for my rights to my records — you keep your mits off of my rights! Deal? Deal. I’m not butting in to your role as an adoptive father because I have two young adult children of my own. I’m not butting into the lives of natural parents, either. My rights to my records are no one’s business but my own. And yes, that means names of natural parents on birth certifcates, big deal. That is a government regulation— to register the birth of every citizen. Who ever gets named as parents on a birth record are true facts of reality that cannot be changed. Deal with it!

Gert says…

Demands made to ‘John’ or anyone… to open your mind to the experiences will just fall on deaf ears! What a fool! What she demands here is just what she REFUSES others! She shoves her beliefs and opinions on others, she doesn’t mind her own business and she sure as hell doesn’t keep her mits off others rights! She VIOLATED my parental rights and those of my minor children! Self-righteousness ran amoke!

half-orphan says..

You have your birth certificate and no one is telling you that you can’t have your birth certificate! But, rest assured, as the adoptive father of 5 boys, your name is on 5 fake birth certifcates! GREAAT! That’s 5 times fraud, dishonesty, intentional lying, theft of identity of your adopted boys who have squashed legal rights to their true birth certifcates. Shame on you and shame on the government that allows this fraud to continue!

Gert says…

Joan loves to shame people! Must have happened to her a lot in her childhood!

half-orphan says..

Adoptive parents: beware! You do not have the ethical right to put your names on a fake birth certificate. That’s a sin against nature, and your adoptive daughters and sons. The lies you hang onto will come back and bit you when your adoptees realize how they’ve been duped, duped like in a Bernie Madoff Ponzi Scheme: Made off with adopttees’ identity.

Gert says…

Warning! Warning! Danger! Danger! Joan Wheeler/Doris Sippel is after you!

She has no concept of her own sins and how they ARE biting her as she wrote this and since she wrote that libelous book! She hasn’t learnt a thing. Whats a ‘ponzi scheme’ have to do with adoption and birth certificates?

update information

I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler (Doris Michol Sippel) says about me and family. The first book Forbidden Family, A Half Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism‘ was published in 2009 but then was pulled from publication by the publisher in May 2011, for libelous material within the book. Then in 2015, she ‘self-published’ a ‘revised’ version calling it ‘Forbidden Family, an adoptee duped by adoption’. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor! Then in 2016 Joan changed her name back to her birth name and rewrote and republished the SAME crap in another book; a Third edition! CALLED ‘Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity’! Talk about conning people!   this blog is titled Reclaiming the Sippel-Herr Family Honor

this blog’s title/sub title is… DUPED BY ADOPTION & AN WOMAN’S STRUGGLE FOR IDENTITY, A BOOK STUDY an in-depth analyzes of the books called Forbidden Family; My Life as an Adoptee Duped by adoption & An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity by Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel.

also see this Facebook page…

do check us out 


Joan M Wheeler DECLARES that she is mentally ill!

revisiting this post…cause it’s so GOOD.

And the reason is ADOPTION! I kid you not! see end of post for update info Now, who in their right mind would declare such a thing as they are mentally ill? Obviously she is NOT in her right mind! …

Source: Joan M Wheeler DECLARES that she is mentally ill!

eight signs of narcissistic behaviors; Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel has them

learn these traits, think about them when you read anything that she writes, it will save you a lot of grief

Source: eight signs of narcissistic behaviors; Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel has them

Dangerous combination for #adoptees when Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel believes her own BS as she slanders/libels others! (2 of 6)

Great damage happens to other people when a person, who is angry and hateful, continues to repeat half-truths and build upon them by creating more and more lies of tension to make a story MORE dramatic. Joan is a person who LOVES to tell about her pain and anguish. As she does this, the truth vanishes as HER view and feelings takes over. The book, Forbidden Family, has been pulled from publication by the publisher, due to libelous content and breach of contract, May 2011 and yet she continues on with two self-published versions. Read on!

BUT before we go any further I want to share

I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler (Doris Michol Sippel) says about me and family. The first book Forbidden Family, A Half Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism‘ was published in 2009 but then was pulled from publication by the publisher in May 2011, for libelous material within the book. Then in 2015, she ‘self-published’ a ‘revised’ version calling it ‘Forbidden Family, an adoptee duped by adoption’. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor! Then in 2016 Joan changed her name back to her birth name and rewrote and republished the SAME crap in another book; a Third edition! CALLED ‘Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity’! Talk about conning people!   this blog is titled Reclaiming the Sippel-Herr Family Honor

this blog’s title/sub title is… DUPED BY ADOPTION & AN WOMAN’S STRUGGLE FOR IDENTITY, A BOOK STUDY an in-depth analyzes of the books called Forbidden Family; My Life as an Adoptee Duped by adoption & An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity by Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel.

also see this Facebook page…

In addition…see the ‘discussion’ forums, on Amazon, for two of the books. The first book has one review and several comments related.

Forbidden Family: My Life as an Adoptee Duped by Adoption forum

Joan Mary Wheeler forum

review of first book and 4 comments

do check us out and now to continue…

here is the link to part one and three of this series of six

Here we shall see two comments by Joan Wheeler (half-orphan) from 2009 BEFORE that libelous book was published. Within these two comments we FIND some ‘core-kernels’ of what she BELIEVES and how she fabricates stories ABOUT members of both the adoptive and birth family, to fit into HER vision of the truth. Much from these comments made it into the final manuscript and was published Nov 2009. This shows how early on and how often she had slander the birth family, creating an image of us to FIT into her story line. We, of the birth family, didn’t find out about any of this, or the book, until December 2009!

My comments will appear after each paragraph of Joan’s comment. These comments come from this web site…

Unfortunately this site is no longer available

Today’s Lesson on Lifetime Adoption is: Caring for the Elderly

Submitted by half-orphan on Tue, 01/06/2009 – 15:49.

Joan says…John, you must realize that my adoptive parents were the only parents I conciously knew for the first 18 years of my life. The first five years were untold of adoption. Somewhere between 5, 7, 9 or ten, I was told three different stories of why I was adopted. And yes, it was a shock to hear that another woman gave birth to me. The disclosure was done in a cold way, not at all in a loving way. I was left alone to think about it. It left me feeling sad and alone.

Gert says…ok sure I can understand this…parents are flawed people, we are only human. Joan is NOT the only person who had cold parents who may have lied to her! Joan herself was a cold cruel parent to her children…and she wrote slander/libel about her own children! By continuing to expose the flaws of the people who adopted her she violates their privacy as well, painting them the way Joan wants, which most likely is NOT a true picture.

Joan says…A child grows up loving and interacting with the family that raises that child. Love, affection good times, and sorow happened. Many relatives died, funerals, weddings, and graduations and gatherings…church, school, all normal. That does not get whiped out of existance just because of a reunion.

Gert says…again, I get it! same thing from our, the birth family’s view. Upon reunion, everyone in the birth family ’embraced’ Joan, only to be betrayed by her over and over again and then in a fucking book!

Joan says…My adoptive mother is nearing her 94rd birthday. She cannot be left alone as she cannot walk very well. She is dying of a blood cancer, a form of leukemia. She has other medical issues as well. I am her only daughter, so I am her health care proxy. Mom’s only sister is far more sick than Mom is. And her brothers died many years ago. Just a handfull of relatives coem by to help once in a while, but mostly, it is me taking Mom to hospitals.

Gert says…Her adoptive mother died March 2011, our father died January 2011. And that libelous book, Forbidden Family, died May 2011 when it was proven libelous!

Joan says…My natural father had open heart surgery just before Christmas 2003. He recovered, but needs medical care. His 3rd wife, my stepmother, had a stroke a few years ago. For several years, I shared taking care of them with my two step sisters. But within this past year, I had to bow out. Since Dad has other adult children, he has others to help, including my full blood sisters and half brother. But they are not much help, my step sisters do most of the work. I did, too, but now I have to give more to take care of my Mother.

Gert says…Here we SEE Joan’s TRUTH which is a bunch of misrepresentations and lies! Joan NEVER shared taking care of my father and step-mother. All Joan DID was take them to SOME doctor appointments and shopping (where she tried to con them into paying for items Joan wanted but had no money to pay for, by placing them in the cart unknown to the person paying the bill).

Joan did NOT bow out! Dad KICKED HER OUT because Joan wanted my father to PAY for her car repairs, she got nasty and argumentative to Dad and he said ‘he doesn’t need her help’. Joan was still WRITING the book when she wrote this comment…and in the book she has YET another version of the TRUTH of this ‘bowing out’.

What Joan says here IMPLIES lack of care from other siblings. Each sibling either has work obligations or lives far away. Joan DOES NOT work and lived near by and she volunteered to take them to appointments! If you volunteer you has no right to complain!

What Joan doesn’t say…which is a truth she DOESN’T WANT TO ACKNOWLEDGE…is that the step-sister, whom our dad ADOPTED, has the power of attorney and health care proxy and it was she and her sister, that LIVED near my father and his wife, whom made the decisions to TAKE CARE OF THEM. Joan does not know about any contacts I, or other siblings, have had with my father. Joan makes statements, implying, without having any real knowledge of what others are doing and saying.

Joan says…And when my father went in for his surgery, my adoptive Mom was very concerned. She prayed for him and his recovery. We went to visit him. And my step sister helped me learn how to test Mom’s blood when she needed blood sugar tests for a period of time.

Gert says…again what Joan NEGLECTS to say here (which makes things APPEAR as Joan wants them to appear) is that that ‘step-sister’ was also an ADOPTEE, adopted by our father and his wife. Our father placed into ADOPTION one daughter (Joan) because at the time there were no other options and years later he ADOPTS another child! Strange how life works! And this ADOPTIVE sister is a RN obviously qualified to take care of her mother and adoptive father as well as give Joan some info!

Joan says…So, you see, John, while I do have anger and resentment at the way my adoptive parents handled disclosing or not disclosing the truth to me, and at the way I was treated for the past 35 years of reunion and as an activist, I can still be compassionate toward my adoptive mother.

Gert says…another thing that Joan NEGLECTS to state is that it is BECAUSE of the ADOPTIVE mother that Joan has a place to LIVE…today. Joan moved in with the adoptive mother while her children were still MINORS and still lives there, long after the woman has died!

Joan says…I am hateful and bitter at society’s myths and taboos about adoption and all that was put upon me by otehrs. Had I been left alone to deal with my reunion between myself, my siblings, and my two sets of parents, the reunion would have been much smoother.

Gert says… For Joan to continue her bitterness and hatred, against a society’s ‘being’, she keeps herself locked in place unable to move away from her hate, anger and bitterness. Her refusal to accept the way things are done…or her lack of going to the proper channels (lawmakers), is at the root of all her illnesses. Her only outlets, in life, are these comments that she writes, year after year, blog post after blog post. She has no other life except fighting adoption!

I don’t understand what she means…if she was left alone to deal with her reunion. Oh that’s right, her extended adoptive family gave her MUCH grief and troubles, that Joan turned into lies and misrepresentations saying that she was RECEIVING it from the birth siblings!

Joan says…None of this should have happened the way it did.

Gert says…Well that’s just life…it happens the way it happens.

Today’s adoption lesson is on …

Submitted by half-orphan on Tue, 01/06/2009 – 02:10.

the topic of the devastating effects of separating siblings!

Gert says…Joan seems to have a ‘backstory’ that she created about our ‘separation’. This backstory, of Joan’s, is influenced by the many books Joan reads about separation. Joan doesn’t want to accept the fact that we, siblings, were NOT damaged by her adoption and separation. We WERE damaged by the unfortunate SECOND MARRIAGE of our father. And, if Joan STAYED within the family and NOT BEEN ADOPTED, she would have had the same kind of separation we all had. It’s NOT about Joan! But she’ll make about her!

The problem with Joan’s backstory is, is that it’s all false. Joan refuses to accept the truth…which in a nutshell is…

After Mom gave birth, in hospital bed, to her last child (Joan), it was discovered that she was dying of uterine cancer. Our father proposed marriage to another woman; he would be father to her 2 children and she would be mother to his 5 children. Woman agreed but REFUSED the infant (Joan). Some in our mother’s family wanted to adopt her, but our father said, if he could not raised her NO ONE in the family would. And to place that infant into adoption our father had to MAKE HER DEAD LIKE HIS WIFE AND THE INFANT’S MOTHER. He was not pressured into it by church or others, as Joan continues to state he was.

Everything Joan reads in a book, on adoption, she makes her back story fit so she can continue to exploit and malign the birth family.

Joan says…This is for John, and other adoptive parents who need a wake-up call. No baby, no child comes to you “a blank slate.” Each baby is born with memories of mother’s womb… her heartbeat, her voice, and birth brings smells, tastes, sounds, and sight. A baby knows…from inside, a baby can hear voices that are around. Father, siblings, other people. Music. When that baby is taken away, the resulting trauma is deep, and causes lifelong pain.

Gert says…This is another nasty tactic of Joan’s…browbeating and insulting people. ‘Adoptive parents who need a wake-up call’…that is what hate and anger does to a person, makes them go after others who do not think the same…she makes everyone an enemy. She did it to me, my 2nd husband and my minor children when I ADOPTED. She didn’t like my answer to her…butt out…and so she called 2 false child abuse reports against me.

Sure, I can accept that there is trauma and I’m sure others can as well, but, that’s no reason to proclaim that ALL ADOPTIONS MUST BE STOPPED.

Joan says…For me, not only did I feel that loss, but my siblings did, too. Their ages were 9, 8, 6, and 3 when I was born and when Mom died. Those kids were helpless! In our separate ways, we’ve dealt with it all…one even ran away in her early 20s to another country! One sister got pregnant at age 17 to leave home, another was so emotionally distraught that she was hospitalized for several months. Our older brother ran off to join the military. We each did our time with drugs, drink, carelessness…And they held onto the thought that one day, they would find me.

Gert says…NOW here we have some real examples of libel and slander. Joan knows not what she says here. These statements are pure her ‘view and perception’ which are false, slanderous and libel. Okay, yes, upon the DEATH of a mother, each child would feel the separation and loss…but…Joan KNOWS NOT WHAT EACH OF US WENT THROUGH. Joan’s pronouncements of OUR LIVES IS PURE FABRICATIONS, LIES, SLANDER AND LIBEL. Our lives have NOTHING to do with Joan’s adoption! Our lives were NOT AFFECTED by the adoption/loss of Joan from us.

How dare she say, in print, here and in that book, that we were HELPLESS…NO we were NOT! We had a father and extended family until 1958 when father’s second marriage fall apart. That first step-mother had to be hospitalized for mental illness and at that time we were placed into foster and orphan homes! If Joan was with us she TOO would have been placed with us!

Joan’s lies and fabricates WHAT HAPPENED TO US, creating slander and libel. Joan makes everything into a drama! One sibling did NOT ran-away to another country! That was planned and worked at for years by CHOICE by a ‘legal aged’ adult. There also was no sibling who was ‘so emotionally distraught that she was hospitalized’ that is pure make-believe on Joan’s part! I was the one who got MARRIED by CHOICE. I was 18 (legal age) and a high school graduate. I wasn’t running away from home; I was creating a home of my own! Our brother did what many did during the Vietnam War Era! He joined the Marine Corp right after high school, like thousands, before he was DRAFTED; again he was NOT running away from home, but serving his country. My husband didn’t go into the military, he was exempt because we had children.

These fabricated and half truths that Joan continues to speak is WHY the birth family EXPOSES her, her words and deeds, and we shall continue to do so. How DARE she say this…’We each did our time with drugs, drink, carelessness…’ She has NO RIGHT to imply that her siblings did drugs, drink and were careless! OUR LIVES ARE NOT UP FOR HER visions and exploitations. That is slander and libel!

Yes, we DID hold to the ‘thought that one day, they would find me’ but when we did we had NO IDEA what a monster she (Joan) was. Everyone in the birth family regrets EVER CONTACTING HER and having HER IN OUR LIVES.

Joan says…But the reunion didn’t make for fun and joy. Because all that sorrow spilled out into anger. They were mad at me for living and Mom dying. They were jealous that I had two parents and they did not. Oh, the relationships did’t start falling apart for several years, but, my stress, I was the one in the middle…crying all the time, deep depression, fear, and I was the baby. It was clear that I didn’t fit in because they grew up together and I was not with them. They grew to dislike me because I became an adoption activist. The more I wrote in the newpsaper, the more my relatives from both families complained that I should keep my mouth shut. Why? I’m not illegtimate so there’s not SHAME. They can have their family crests, but I can’t have mine.

Gert says…’fun and joy’ hardy, with Joan around there never is any fun and joy! And where does she get this ‘sorrow spilling out’? Just because she is miserable doesn’t mean everyone around her is. Mad at her because mom died and Joan lived!? She sure is full of her self-importance! She had two parents and we did not? We had parents and step-parent and grandparents and other extended family…as SHE did with her adoptive family. None of us were ever jealous of Joan, we RAN AWAY FROM HER.

My own relationship with Joan ended in 1981 when SHE violated my parental rights with my minor children and interferred in my marriage! I had NO CONTACT with her from 1982 to 1992 because of that! At a brief gathering of family in 1992 to the publication of that libelous book of hers, in 2009, I’ve had ONLY 3 OR 4 MINOR CONTACTS with her, that ended up in YET more troubles from her. I couldn’t care in the least that she’s an adoption activist! But I do care about the lies she tells about the birth family!

It’s Joan’s own frustrations that ‘come out’ of her mouth/pen that she assigns to others, but she is wrong when she asserts that we have said those things.

Joan says…I explained my feelings recently to an elderly woman: It’s like being bi-racial: neither side wants you. And she said, “I know. I’m half Asian and half white, no one wants me, either.”

Gert says… ‘neither side wants you’…well when a person acts like Joan does what’s a person suppose to do? Everyone in the birth family gave Joan ample time to come to terms with each of us! It was and still is ONLY Joan who continues to insult family.


Doris Michol Sippel aka Joan Mary Wheeler just CAN’T keep her mouth shut about me. She gets shot down on Huffington Post, and brings me into it – even tho I was OUT of it (Jan, 2017).

I have meaning to put up this blog post for a month now. But life keeps getting in the way. Wierd how that works. lol. This is about Joan/Doris browbeating people, as usual, who have a different vi…

Source: Doris Michol Sippel aka Joan Mary Wheeler just CAN’T keep her mouth shut about me. She gets shot down on Huffington Post, and brings me into it – even tho I was OUT of it (Jan, 2017).

Doris Michol Sippel aka Joan Mary Wheeler just CAN’T keep her mouth shut about me. She gets shot down on Huffington Post, and brings me into it – even tho I was OUT of it (Jan, 2017).

I have meaning to put up this blog post for a month now. But life keeps getting in the way. Wierd how that works. lol. This is about Joan/Doris browbeating people, as usual, who have a different vi…

Source: Doris Michol Sippel aka Joan Mary Wheeler just CAN’T keep her mouth shut about me. She gets shot down on Huffington Post, and brings me into it – even tho I was OUT of it (Jan, 2017).